11018/Healthy Communication

Healthy Communication
Date of Scene:	01 May 2022
Location:	Guest Quarters - The Triskelion
Synopsis:	Jon returns from hunting down Javier Hernandez - and Cael and Jon reconcile, while trying to figure out what to next.
Cast of Characters:	Cael Becker, Jonathan Sims

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Cael Becker has posed:
    It hadn't taken long for Cael to start insisting on a change of venues - basically, only as long as it took her to drink the cup of coffee (with whiskey) that Sara had brought for her. It gave her enough time to gather her wits, and re-exert some control over her turbulent emotions. After that, it was a matter of signing out from medical care, and changing into a set of SHIELD issue sweat pants, with a t-shirt emblazoned with the SHIELD logo as well. Her own clothes were being sent off to be cleaned. She also asked the medical staff if they wouldn't mind giving her a refill on both of her medications.
    Once in the quarters, Cael settles in on the couch with a blanket and Agnes' Nintendo Switch and Bear stretched out over her legs. He takes up most of the couch all on his own - as usual. A hot cup of tea sits nearby, virtually untouched - though she'd sipped some of it while taking her medication.
    She was actually giving Agnes' suggestion a try - playing through Hades with a look of blinkered concentration - as if nothing else exists in the world but her and the game, while Sara works on her laptop nearby.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    There's a knock on the door, and Sara gets up to go answer it, giving the man on the other side a /look/. Jon looks worn and haggard, even more tired than he was when he left, like he's about to fall over asleep on his feet. But he's managing to stay upright, holding a bouquet of bright orange gerberas in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

    "Oh, c'mon, Sara, how can I apologize if you don't let me in?" He sounds faintly exasperated, and definitely tired.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "They can come in, Sara," Cael remarks, prompting the woman to stand aside just enough to let Jon through. There's a hint of amusement in her tone as her roommate gives her boyfriend a hard time.
    I mean. ...he kind of earned it.
    Bear lifts his head to look towards the door - white, fluffy tail wagging a few times at the sound of Jon's voice, and reluctantly he starts to shift to the side as Cael gives him a nudge to make a little more space on the couch for Jon to join her. She keeps the Nintendo Switch in her lap for the moment - her gaze dropped down towards the paused game, rather than looking up towards the door and Jon.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon sighs at Sara and walks on over to Cael. He's still feeling vaguely melodramatic--or rather, he /is/ melodramatic and he's just having trouble keeping it at bay for Cael's sake, for the moment. So rather than sit on the couch next to her, he drops to his knees on the floor in front of the couch and looks up at his girlfriend with a furrowed brow. Sara can think whatever she likes of this behavior.

    "Hey," they say softly, and offer up both bouquet and whiskey. "I'm sorry I was an ass. But it's done now, and we can talk about it or not--that's up to you." There's something heavy in their tone and expression, but they're doing their best not to push it onto Cael--not at the moment, anyway.

Cael Becker has posed:
    So much for keeping her gaze turned away from them - when they come and drop down just in front of her. After hesitation for about a breath, she looks up to meet Jon's eyes, her flat - and perhaps a little uneasy. She manages to quirk the corners of her lips for just a moment as she remarks, "I thought I told you I wasn't much of a flower person." She pauses for a moment then relents with, "They are pretty, though. And I can't have more than just a sip of the whiskey, just now. I uh- I took all my meds. I think I needed it."
    Her gaze drops back down to her lap as she asks, "You wanna sit with me?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I know, but I'm making a gesture. We need to talk about things... but right when you're waking up from being dead isn't the time." Jon frowns. "Did I get the wrong color? I thought you like the orange." He's trying, clearly.

    A sigh, and then they get up off the floor to sit down next to Cael, opening the bottle of whiskey and taking a swig from it directly before offering it over. "I will try not to drink the whole thing. I think I need it. But I... wanted to come and talk to you, before I drank myself into a stupor." He glances at Sara, briefly, as if expecting a lecture, then shrugs and takes another drink.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "The color's good. And you can drink as much as you need - I know you meant it for me. How're you to know I decided to be responsible about my mental health?" Cael asks - a smirk pulling at the corners of her lips.
    She doesn't lean in against Jon immediately, as she normally would - but she does, after a few moments, lean forward to set the Switch aside on a coffee table, next to her cooling cup of tea. "Sara - you think Jon and I could have a few minutes?"
    "Text me if you need me," Sara answers - before stepping out, and into one of the bedrooms, closing the door.
    Cael falls silent, taking the bottle when it's offered - and savoring a sip of it on her tongue, as she passes it back to Jon. She slowly begins to relax against him - so her shoulder presses against their, rather than tucking herself in against their chest.
    "Javi?" she asks simply.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Dead." Jon says it simply, bluntly, staring at the far wall. He takes a swig of the whiskey, frowning.

    "You weren't the first person he killed, Cael. You were just the first he /shot/." A pause. "But for what it's worth... I'm sorry. I... Ma'at gave him a chance. After we took his statement, she... showed him the impact he'd had on the world. The pain he'd caused people. Gave him a chance to make amends, to change his ways."

    Another swig from the bottle. "His response was just 'that's how the world is. Predators and prey.' Not a shred of remorse. I'm sorry." He blinks a few times, trying to hold back tears.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael winces, pressing her eyes closed, and taking in a deep, slow, shaky breath. "That bad, huh?" she finally murmurs. "I just- I remember him as this kid. Like... Junior High kid. Always following me and Alis around, asking about the races, trying- trying to get his brother to let him go. I think he had a crush on- well. I //think// it was me, but we never really were sure." She takes another shaky breath then adds, "And then I ruined his life and left him there. What did I expect would happen to him?
    "Damnit, Javi..." She reaches up with one hand, wiping at her eyes, while the other runs over Bear's fur. What else is there to say?

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Everyone you put in jail was 'just a kid' once. /Everyone/ was 'just a kid' once." Jon's hand tightens on the whiskey bottle, irriation creeps into their tone. "There is a point where one's past stops being an excuse for one's actions. Like I said earlier... I know people who were literally created and bred to be heartless assassins who are choosing a different path. He didn't /have/ to go that way. It wasn't... it isn't..."

    He frowns. "It isn't your /fault/, Cael. He made his choices. He had chances to get off the path he was on, and he... didn't."

    He shakes his head. "I'm sorry," he repeats. "I... I don't mean to... gods. I wanted to... to apologize. To help you. To... well, maybe it's not right to come to you for comfort, right now. Maybe I should go to Martin. But I didn't want... you were upset, when I left."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I //know// that, Jon. I know. I just- my last memories of him were- he was a kid. A kid with a crush on me, and now he's- he's a cold blooded killer who came to murder me. That's- ...that's all I mean. It's a lot to accept." And he's dead. And Jon killed him. Bear lets out a quiet whine, nuzzling into Cael's chest to prompt her to continue petting - which she does with both hands now.
    "I was upset," she agrees. "I wanted- well. This. I wanted you to hold me, and I couldn't- I wasn't able to speak up for myself. Even to you." Granted, she still sat shoulder to shoulder with Jon - rather than sinking into their arms.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I would have stayed, at least a bit longer, if you'd asked," Jon murmurs. "I thought you were mad at me. Sara certainly seemed mad at me. I thought... I thought you didn't understand why I needed to go find him. I'm sorry."

    They transfer the bottle to their glowing emerald hand and offer the real arm to put around Cael, if she wants. "I haven't slept. I... I know I should have. Ma'at would have let me, before you woke. She was letting me wait to go find him until I'd talked to you. But I... I didn't want to miss you waking. I didn't want you to wake up without me there, to comfort you." A snort. "And then I did such a bang-up job of /that/, yeah?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael allows Jon to slide their arm around her, tucking herself in a little closer to him as she sits there in silence, trying wrestle together a coherent thought. "I was... upset. Hurt. I don't know that I was really mad?" Her tone is uncertain though. Her emotions had been so confused. They still were, to a degree.
    "I couldn't ask for what I needed. I don't really know how to explain it, I just... couldn't. I can't when I'm that upset, but unless I'm shoving you off me, just- can you hold me when I'm upset?" she asks, her gaze staring ahead of herself, unfocused as she talks - her fingers still running through Bear's fur.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon nods to this, reaching his own fingers to run them through Cael's hair. "Yeah. I can do that. And I understand. I could just... scan your mind, find out what you want, but that feels... invasive? And it wasn't just you, it wasn't even just Sara, it was..."

    Their jaw shifts for a moment as they sit on the couch, staring at the far wall. "I don't like what I'm becoming, Cael. Two men died tonight, and what authority is there to... to look over my actions and be sure they were justified? Do I send Peggy a report? I did it in the name of Ma'at. And that feels... right, but I don't know if..."

    A shake of the head. "That doesn't matter right now. I can... I can hold you. It's okay."

Cael Becker has posed:
    There's a faint exhilation - almost a sigh of relief as Jon's fingers start working through her hair. Little by little, the tension left in her form as beginning to ease - though a puzzled frown soon forms on her features.
    "Who else died?" she asks. Her head tilts, just enough to look up towards Jon's face for a moment, then she lets it drop again towards a non-specific point on the floor.
    "I want to be here for you, you know. I want to- listen, and understand, but I- probably Martin's better for that, tonight. I can- maybe in a few more days, when I have feet back underneath me."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Javier was holed up in a Trinitario safehouse," Jon explains. "He'd paid them $10,000 to find you and tail you, which evidently included protection after the fact." The words are said in the kind of blunt, clipped tone he used to use for after-action recordings during the siege. "I knocked on the front door, because I didn't know any of this at the time, I just knew there were two other people in the house. Moon Knight took the back.

    He's still running his fingers through Cael's hair. "I managed to compel one of the Trinitarios to stay put, but the other attacked me with an axe. We fought, and I... was holding my own, and then I stumbled on the stairs. He slipped in and cut my right shoulder. Sliced up my cardigan." There's no evidence of the damage, at all. He must have healed it before he came over, clothing and all. "I... all I could see was Michael, swinging his sword to take off my arm. So I wrapped force around my staff and gave him an uppercut that broke his neck."

    A pause, and then he frowns. "Sorry. That's... probably more detail than you need right now. Sorry."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael doesn't answer immediately - she seems to be taking her time thinking over everything she's told, and this is no exception. Finally she remarks, "I'm glad you're okay. We'll... get through this. I know we will." She lifts one hand from Bear's fur, reaching up to twine her fingers into Jon's hair as she adds, "If you need to sleep - if you need to go talk to Martin... I'll be alright. I don't know that we really start to deal with any of this until you're rested." She's silent a moment before adding, "And Caldwell already let me know she wants to see me in the morning."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon hesitates a moment, then deliberately pulls Cael tighter. "You died," he says softly. "I... you trusted me to save you, and I didn't. I'm sorry."

    He swallows, and frowns down at the whiskey bottle. "Could... would you... I'd understand if you want to be alone. Or if you think I should go be with Martin. But I... I don't want to leave. Not on my own account. I can put off my own... personal crisis, for now. That's not... it's... it's my own issue."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "You did everything you could," Cael answers, her own fingers tightening against Jon's scalp. There isn't a shread of doubt in those words - she speaks them with absolute conviction. "None of this is your fault."
    She takes a deep breath in, then admits, "I want you here. I want you with me. I didn't want you to go in the first place - no matter what I said. ...but it's okay if you need to sleep," she adds in a wry voice. "I got Bear. I got Sara. I know I'm not alone."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon frowns. "No, I didn't," they say softly. "You had blood in your lungs. I figured out what I could have done after we got you to the Trisk. I just... I've been neglecting my healing ability, when it's really rather rare, because... I don't even know why. Phoebe won't always be around, and nor will Sara. If everyone in the bloody team could heal that'd be about right for my tastes."

    They lean over to put their head on Cael's. "I'm so tired." It comes out almost as a whine. "/So/ bloody tired. No sleep for 36 hours... no, more than that... and on top of that I merged with Ma'at /twice/ and called on Sekhmet. I need to sleep. But I want to be near you. If I wake up and you're not there..."

    They start to cry. "Sorry. Sorry. You're still..." They turn and press a kiss to Cael's hair. "How are you? Forget about me. How are /you/?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "//Other// than my meeting with Caldwell... I'll be here tomorrow. Alright?" Cael promises. "If you happen to wake up during that hour or two - well. I'll leave you a message. But I need to go see her."
    Then in a quieter voice she adds, "And maybe we can just... sneak off to the alps. Soon." They won't be able to find he thee. How would a bunch of gang kids from Phoenix follow her to Austria? It just can't happen. Right?
    She considers Jon's question seriously - falling silent for a few moment before she admits, "I'm sad. I'm angry that- that fucking gang violence took her from me... twice. I'm- I don't remember what happened. Not clearly. I remember Javi. Everything after that is so... vague. But you came. Yeah?" She lets out a frustrated sigh as she adds, "If I went to Duat- why can't I remember it? I want to remember it. I want to- I //need// to know what happened. I need to know- were Alis and I together? Did we both face the weighing? Did... we pass? I can't remember //any// of it, Jon, and I need to. I need to." There's a not of rising frustration and desperation in her voice, as Bear nuzzles at her shirt once more - and licks at her hands.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Hey, hey, shhh..." Jon presses another kiss to her hair and wraps the other arm around her to pull her close. The flowers already got set aside on a table; the whiskey bottle they manage to keep hold of mostly so it doesn't spill everywhere.

    "I understand. Trust me, of all people, I /understand/. The few moments in my life I can't remember are... terrifying." They pause, and then say, "Not right now, but... a statement /might/ be able to help you remember." They sound... reluctant. "It can... reach in and dredge up memories people weren't aware of, at all. But it's... I... I know that would hurt. And then it's in my memory. But... I'm willing to deal with that, if it means helping you remember."

    They frown. "Maybe there's another way. I'm not certain. It's all I can offer."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "...and Agnes' memory," Cael answers quietly. "She was really worried about me?" she asks - but doesn't linger on that thought before ploughing on.
    "If they were my last moments with my sister- I need to remember them. I need to know - I need to be //sure// about what happened to her. I need to know she's okay." She frees one hand to wipe at her eyes, before she turns her face in towards Jon's chest.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I know, love. I know. So if I can help..." Jon huffs out a breath. "Agnes gets everything. All of this, and my death, and fighting the angels, and Javier's statement, and... and me cradling your body and crying. She gets /all/ of it. At least she doesn't have the perfect recall yet, herself. She gets psuedo-statements off of things, instead. That's why she wears the gloves."

    He sighs. "But that's not... right now, /right now/, you need to know what happened to Alis. So if I can take your statement, and that can help? That's worth my own pain, and whatever Agnes may have to experience in several decades. She'll be older than we are by the time she becomes Archivist, gods willing."

    They stroke Cael's hair, gently. "So whenever you're ready, if that's what you want to do? Just let me know." They sniffle. "And yeah. We should go skiing."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Can we do just... the trip to Duat?" Cael asks quietly. "Everything that happened after- ...after I died?" That's all she really wants to remember, after all. "Or should we- look for other options first? Is there a way Ma'at could help? Or your friend - Mr. Knight? He- I mean, he works with the Egyptian Gods too... Or- or maybe someone in the JLD would have an idea about retrieving memories? ...do you think asking Lady Death if she had any ideas would be- tempting fate too much?"
    She lapses into a momentary quiet befoe asking "Why'd I go to Duat, anyways? I don't worship them... Because I went there once before?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "You said you wanted to go. When you were dying. I think... I think they heard you, and granted the wish."

    Jon chews on his lip and frowns for a moment. "It... can be hard to say what a statement will cover. I could try to direct it to be 'what happened after she died' and maybe that would be good enough to target? Rather than... re-living dying. I'm willing, regardless. If you'd rather look at other options, then we should ask around. Mr. Knight might know... /something/. And there's a statue of Ma'at at the Midnight Mission now, maybe she'd listen to you."

    A pause. "I mean, she's evidently not telling /me/ anything, so..." Oh, he sounds bitter. He tries to shake it off. "I doubt Lady Death would be the best idea," he adds with a smirk. "She'd probably give you a hot poker to pull out the memories with. You know. Literally from inside your head."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I did?" Cael asks. She falls silent again, before asking in an even softer voice, "I knew I was dying?" And Jon knew she was dying. She pulls her hand off of Bear then, so she can wrap both arms around Jon, and hug them tightly. "We'll ask around," she murmurs quietly. "I'll go see your friend. Maybe someone will have an idea."
    She takes a deep breath in, and lets it out slowly before asking, "Can you tell me what happened? What- ...you saw, or is that too painful? I just- I can't remember anything past seeing Javi standing in my way. I've tried, but..."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "He said you ruined his life. You tried to reason with him. He was... he figured he'd die in the process, but he didn't much care, so long as you were dead too. You tried to talk sense into him, and then Bear barked, and he shot you. Missed, actually. He was aiming for your head."

    Jon frowns. "That's why you aim for center mass. Fool." He shakes his head.

    "Anyway... I'm not sure what... he left, then, but I think you must've gotten your phone out and called me, and then Alis popped in and put pressure on the wound and yelled at me over the phone. That's when I portaled in. I yelled at Agnes to call Martin, and then I tried to heal you, but I... I couldn't. I couldn't figure out how to get the blood out of your lungs without drowning you. Th-that's... that's how you died. You couldn't breathe."

    They sniffle, starting to cry again. "I... I, uhh... I linked with you telepathically, you told me who did it... you said you wouldn't leave me. You... you... I tried. I did. I tried. I couldn't... I'm supposed to... you trusted me. You thought I could heal it. You... and I couldn't. And I'm sorry. I'm s-sorry." They start to sob, squeezing their eyes shut.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I don't blame you," Cael murmurs quietly. "I don't blame you, Jon. I don't blame you now - I really doubt I blamed you then, either. It's not your fault - and I'm still here. I said I wouldn't leave you, yeah?" she reminds him. "I'm still here." But Alis isn't. Alis is gone.
    She pushes that thought away as best she can, as she continues to hold to Jon. "I decided to walk alone. I //knew// I'd been seen on the news. I knew- I should have been more careful. I knew my identity was probably blown. If it was anyone's fault - it was mine."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I'm a /doctor/!" Jon bursts out in anger, and then stops, shuddering, and pulls it back in. Cael can't see auras, but it's really almost visible in the body language, the way Jon pulls that anger and frustration back inside so it won't touch Cael.

    "I am a doctor," Jon says then, more slowly, more measured. "I took an oath to save lives. 'That into whatever house I shall enter, it shall be for the good of the sick, to the utmost of my power, holding myself far aloof from harm and from corruption, and from the tempting of others to vice.'" He sighs. "And in the past 48 hours, I could not save a life when I should have, and I took two others. I need to... I need to study. I need to be better."

    They pull Cael closer, resting their head on hers again. "We're gonna deal with the rest of the Alhambras. Witchblade wants a piece of whoever made this happen, I know. And... maybe, yeah, maybe I'm a little mad at you for not... but that can wait. Okay? It can wait. You're hurting. All of that, it can wait."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "And a doctor should know that you can't save everyone. Do no harm, yeah?" Cael asks Jon in a gentle voice. "You didn't do me any harm. You did the best you could - in the moment. I //know// you did. I don't need to remember it know that. You worked to the utmost of your power - I'm certain of it. And if you learned from it, and you know how to save someone //tomorrow// - it doesn't make you at fault for yesterday. It just doesn't." She continues to hold onto Jon tightly, tucked in under their head, listening to Bear quietly whining in response to their distress as he licks at Cael's back, and Jon's arm.
    "Why are you mad?" she asks quietly. "Because of Chas?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon lets out a sigh. "Because of Chas. Because of Uriel. Because... you're right, you should have remembered you're in WitSec /long/ before you started running around with people who get on TV regularly. The Alhambra business should have been put to bed ages ago."

    He closes his eyes. "Because you let your fear control you. I shouldn't be mad at you for that. I know I shouldn't. I don't... every time I sit down and think through why I'm frustrated and upset I convince myself I have no reason to be, but it keeps coming up. So either I have a reason I can't articulate, or it's /my/ problem and I shouldn't bother you with it."

    His shoulders slump a bit. "But I'll admit, I don't understand how you can look at people who hurt you without malice aforethought, who have apologized, and be furious, and hate them... and be so... /understanding/ about someone who deliberately set out to kill you and had no remorse about the matter. I don't. The only thing I can fathom is that you're afraid of Chas and Uriel, and not really afraid of Javier. And in that case I wish you'd just admit that, and not cling to the anger."

    He frowns. "Maybe I just don't understand clinging to anger. It terrifies me, my anger. I try to keep it under lock and key."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael listens in silence - her ear resting on Jon's chest, listening to their voice rumbling with every word. She doesn't speak when they fall silent either, as she rests there in thought, her fingers gently rubbing at Jon's back.
    "I was careless," she admits. "I guess- well. I suppose I thought... they wouldn't be stupid enough to go after me, with the company I keep. Or maybe that- well, I'd stood up to the angels and survived. What could a bunch of gangsters do? It was a mistake, and it cost us. I'm sorry." It's her fault Alis is gone again. Her own fault. That thought hits her like a knife to the chest.
    "I'm not afraid of Uriel. I... might be afraid of Chas." There's a hint of doubt, and uncertainty in her voice as she says that. "I have memories of Javi. I knew him. A kid who had a crush on me - who admired me. When I think of him... that's what I see."
    Her fingers tighten in Jon's shirt as she adds, "I didn't know Chas. Only met him- what? Twice before everything happened? When I think of him- when I see him- ...I think of being trapped, and helpless. I think of being... tortured. I'm trying, Jon. I know it's important to you, and I'm trying, but I- I can't making promises. I know he regrets it all. I know it, but-" It doesn't set it right.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I know that, Cael. I know. I'm not... gods, look, if you told me you could never, ever see Chas ever again I would understand. Michael wore his face when he hurt you. I'm not... I'm not even sure I'm mad at /you/. 'Briefly irritated' isn't mad, really." Jon frowns, stroking Cael's hair idly.

    Then, softly, "Oh. Oh, I know what the problem is."

    They sigh, and drop their head back against the back of the couch. "I still... some part of me's still trying to be your therapist. And I'm not supposed to be, I can't be, so I can't help you with your fear, or talk you through your trauma. And I don't... I don't know how else to help. So you get angry, you get afraid, and I don't know how to help. You're standing there, angry at and terrified of my best mate, and I can't /help/. And that frustrates me, so much."

    A sniffle. "But I'm not the person that's supposed to be talking you through this anymore. I mean, even just as 'fellow JLD members,' Rien would be the one that would mediate between you two. I'm your /boyfriend/. I'm too /close/ to it all, to do any of that. And I don't know how to help, and then... if I /am/ upset, like with Uriel, I feel like I'm supposed to bottle that up and that just makes me /more/ upset and..."

    He sighs. "Gods, I'm a mess."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Tell me when you're upset. Please, Jon?" Cael asks almost plaintively. "I mean - maybe not when I'm lying in a hospital bed." She pulls away enough to thump him lightly on the chest - before tucking herself back into place. "But otherwise..." After a sigh she adds, "And who says you can't use some of what you know to help me? You're //not// my therapist. I have a therapist because- maybe there's stuff I wouldn't say to you. Or- maybe there's things you wouldn't say to me... But couples help each other. Why should that stop - just because you know what you're doing better than most?" She seems honestly baffled at that idea.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "It's not..." Jon chews on his lip, trying to think of how to explain. "It's not that I can't help you. It's not that I can't talk you through things. But I need to be doing it as a boyfriend who happens to know what he's talking about."

    He lifts his head and looks down at Cael. "Like, if you broke your leg, and I couldn't heal it, I could help set it and bandage it and all, but I couldn't prescribe painkillers, and I'd want someone to look at you that wasn't me. That was more objective. That's why I insisted you come to the Trisk, because me and Sara, we're not /objective/ about you. And that might make us miss things."

    He sighs. "The trouble is that I'm still... it's like you need painkillers, and I can't prescribe them, and I haven't adjusted to that yet. It's a /different/ relationship. I mean... as your therapist I can't hold you. You can't tell Caldwell 'hold me when I'm upset.' It's not like I'm /useless/. But I just... my knee-jerk is still to try to think like a therapist, and not a boyfriend. I don't need to talk you through your damn trauma if you don't want to right then, I need to hold you and comfort you."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael nods in silence, turning that over in her mind for a while, to ensure it makes sense to her. It seems to.
    "There aren't words for how much it helps me when you hold me. Or when you sing for me. It- everything's calmer. I feel calm, and safe, and- it helps me to think. It's better than the damned 'painkillers' it's just- ...I can't have it all the time, can I?"
    She tightens her arms for a moment, giving Jon a brief squeeze before remarking, "I have to stay here, don't I? In the Trisk - to be safe." It's a rather galling thought. "...but you'll go with me to see your Mr. Knight - and see if he knows what to do? And then- we can go to Austria? They wont follow me there."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon hesitates for a moment, arms tightening around Cael. Anger surges through them, hot and fierce, and for once they don't try to push it away. This anger is reasonable, and just. Their girlfriend shouldn't have to hide away in the Triskelion, or flee to Austria. It's not right. It's not /just/.

    "If you want," he says quietly, "I can gather some people and head to Arizona and see about knocking some heads around. Be sure they know damn well not to come after you again." He's not thinking about how much effort it might take to track down the leaders of a street gang. What does he know about them?

    Well, enough to know the Trinitarios probably have him on their radar now.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael falls silent again, her lips pressing together. Finally, she asks softly, "You think you can get them to see sense? I mean - shouldn't they have known already-" She lets out a heavy sigh. "But then- if we don't go after them... They'll think they can come at me with imputy." Damn. //Damn.// She lets out a frustrated sound then remarks, "Well. I can tell you what I know. Who was in charge - who ended up in jail. Who was... sorta up-and-coming. Give you some starting points. Places where they used to hang... Might be able to get some more recent intel through the bureau."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon growls, a low rumble in his chest. "So we can't just... portal down there and bust them up and you can go /home/ and... and... this is going to take time. /Fuck/."

    Tears spring to their eyes. "I'm sorry, love. I'm so, so sorry." A hesitation. Then, "We can get a detail put on your apartment. And by 'detail' I mean we fucking know /superheroes/. I mean tell Sara you need her and she'll move back there in a flash. I mean... I mean whatever we need to do, for you to be safe and still /happy/, we can do it. If you want to be in New York, there's places you can go... hell, Moon Knight has rooms at the Midnight Mission, if Queens is better than Westchester. Other people can be with you on the street."

    They pull her in closer, tightly. "And we'll go to Austria, just as soon as we can, and come back, and deal with this. But these /assholes/ are not going to ruin your life like this. They're not."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Jon," Cael says in a wry, dry tone. "You can't just go after the guy that sells drugs on the corner of Estrella and Obrajero. They're not going to care - not enough to leave me alone. You have to scare the right people." A hint of fondness leaks into her voice by the end of there. He had to have known that. Right?
    Still resting comfortably in Jon's arms, she lets her eyes fall closed, her fingers working their way up to Jon's scalp to rub at it gently as she adds, "And I think it'd be pretty foolish of me to move home right now. I- it isn't fair to expect people to babysit me 24/7 - and I wouldn't be happy that way, anyways. I'm better off staying here... and making sure I don't go anywhere alone. As much as it galls me."
    Her expression grows troubled before she adds quietly, "We can fix this, can't we? WitSec isn't in a habit of handing out new identities." As soon as she says that, though, she realizes how ridiculous and impossible the prospect is. "And how would that work, anyways? Not like I can go into hiding with //the Archivist// and //Witchblade.// And I'm not-" Her arms tighten around Jon. "I have a family now. I'm not- I can't be alone again. We can fix this, right?" Or does she live the rest of her life looking over her shoulder?

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    The anger rolls up in waves, crashing over Jon, and he shakes a bit as he reaches over to put the whiskey bottle on the nearest table. It wants somewhere to go, but where is there for it to go? He's angry on Cael's behalf, he cannot take it out on her, and he's not going to pull away just to go have a tantrum.

    He winds up blinking back tears, and breathing slowly, and trying to let Cael's fingers relax the fury. "Then we find the right people," he says fiercely. "If I have to go through every gang member in all of the country and make it clear they don't fuck with my girlfriend, then I will. And you /know/ Sara will be with me every step of the way. Witchblade is furious. /Witchblade/! For your sake!"

    He keeps taking those long, slow breaths, trying to let the anger ebb out, as fatigue begins to replace it. "We're going to fix this," he murmurs. "You were welcomed to Duat as Cael Becker." He's not sure how he knows that, but it makes sense. "That is your /ren/ now. Part of your soul. They can't take it from you. And they can't take your family from you, either. I won't let them."

Cael Becker has posed:
    WitSec only moves immediate family members, anyways - and they're not married. And if they were- well. A) that's ridiculous, and B) then Martin //wouldn't// be 'family' anymore, so- Cael lets out a huff of frustrated air. "I'm not going anywhere," she promises. "I have a home, and a family now, and I'm not going anywhee. No one takes that from me. We'll... figure it out. You, and Sara, and anyone else who- well. Who cares, I guess." There's a slightly dubious note in her voice. Would anyone else care?
    She blinks away a few tears, and frees one hand to rub irritably at her eyes. "I'm sorry to cause all this mess but- fuck. What else was I supposed to do? //Not// fight for reality?" Not fight at Jon's side? Fuck that.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "This isn't your fault," Jon says, and it's really not possible to hold Cael more tightly, so they actually loosen their grip a bit and peer down at her. "Even if you should have been aware of the threat... you're not the one that started this. Javier called you a traitor, but /they/ betrayed /you/ first. If their bloody oaths are so bloody sacred, then they had a duty to save Alis' life, and they didn't. They abandoned you when they abandoned her. And it's his fault she's gone again. Not yours."

    He smiles. "I'm sure a lot more people will help than you think. We'll see. Some might just come to see some action, but I don't doubt that plenty of people will come for your sake." He grins. "Please imagine, for instance, what /Terry O'Neil/ will threaten to do to the people who want to see you dead."

Cael Becker has posed:
    It's a little unclear if it's the mention of Alis' name or the sentiment itself that causes Cael to start crying - but cry she does, sobbing into Jon's chest while one hand grips tightly at his shirt, and the other grips at his scalp. Wasn't it her fault? If she'd been more careful? If she hadn't been so //fucking stupid//?
    "I should eat another bug," she says desperately. "Go back down there and- and demand they give her back. I should-" But what if she'd been fed to Ammit? Wasn't that possible? Alis never got a chance to lighten her heart in life - can you lighten it in death?
    "God, Jon, what if she failed the weighing? What if she's really gone? //Really// gone?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Then she'll be reborn someday, somewhere," Jon says softly. "But I very much doubt that. I suspect she passed. I can't--Ma'at isn't saying what she knows, which makes sense. I don't know most of what goes on down in Duat."

    He strokes her hair gently. "We'll find out, okay? We will. And whatever happened, you're not alone. I'm here. I'm always here. But it's not your fault. It's not."

    His eyelids are starting to droop, but he tries, valiantly, to keep them open. "We'll find out," he repeats. "Just... not now. Soon. Soon."

Cael Becker has posed:
    A few jerky nods of her head show that Cael's listening to what Jon says - even as she continues to cry out her grief, and guilt, and fear. The thought keeps running through her mind - what if Alis didn't pass? What if she's gone? What if she never sees her again? Bear licks at the back of Cael's shirt repeatedly, trying to help her - but in the end it's Jon's presence that calms her, as she falls silent - listening to their breathing, and the beating of their heart in their chest.
    It takes her a while to realize that Jon has gone completely quiet. Wiping her eyes dry, she peers at his still and sleeping face, and lets out a sigh.
    After composing her features she calls out, "Sara! Sara, can you help me move Jon to my bed? They'll wake up sore if we leave 'em here." With help, the pair gets him situated more comfortably - with pillows, blankets, and shoes set by the foot of the bed. Cael settles in beside him - Nintendo Switch back in her hands.