11300/Pieces of Mind: Fears

Pieces of Mind: Fears
Date of Scene:	23 May 2022
Location:	Astral Plane
Synopsis:	Monet is pushed into the Astral by the spirits.
Cast of Characters:	Charles Xavier, Monet St. Croix

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Charles Xavier has posed:
"Monet."

Time is hard to gauge. Was that just now? Or was that asked a while ago? Yet it's not completely disjointed. There are some facts, because Monet is, in fact, quite talented.

This is the Astral. Time does flow strangely here, but things can be pulled more into focus through force of will. And the people around, their spirits and perceptions, can be shoved away, so that it is less of a smear of consciousness. It isn't a dream.

How did one come to get here? It is as if a collective of dreams swept Monet up into a story of skies of crimson and turquoise, lost the reality of the 'astral' itself, and the disorientation would cause nausea if there were any physical part to this at all. There isn't, so it is simply confusing.

But as a telepath, there is a sense of so is 'them' and who is self, and so it is easier to separate, and start to look at this situation in a more coherent way.

The voice was Charles Xavier, and that may be reality, and not just an aspect of a dream choosing a teacher to speak guidance. Yet in a dreamscape, particularly one where others are moving around so tightly like a queue for a ride at Disneyland, how can it be separated, truly?

Monet St. Croix has posed:
She's lost. Aimless. Falling. Falling. Falling. Wait. Falling.. UPwards? Yes.

It takes her several moments (relatively, because time passes so differently) to realize where she is. In the realm of the astral, disconnected from her body.

The different colors flashing all around of others. Of emotions, of individuals, of events and shifting circumstance.

In those moments it takes Monet to realize that she has been separated from her body panic sets in in a way. Nononono.

Her body shifts. Changes. Outfit turns to leather straps wrapping all around her like a straightjacket. Form shrinks, turning red edged ruby, shining and edges all over. Hair lenghtening, becoming barbs. Fingers lenghtening into long claws. A living mass of blades in restraints.

Nononono.

In the form of Penance along the astral realm, Monet can't even scream as panic overtakes her.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Monet," Charles repeats. "You aren't lost. Can you feel the connection, back to us?" he asks. He isn't attempting to push at all, as being grabbed would not help matters in any way, but to draw attention out of the depths of panic -- a drowning person needs to become aware of the escape rope.

"You are not in danger now. I'm with you," Charles adds, firmly. His mental aspect has moved to shape the environment, the world, to be warmth, summer, rifting patterns of gold over light green. Not a hole of darkness. Other spirits are there, as well, surprised by the change, but exploring. "Several spirits were afraid, and pulled you to help them. They mean you no harm. Can you sense them here?"

Monet St. Croix has posed:
There's raw panic over in her. Monet is always so tightly in control of everything. Her presona, things around her. Tightly in control of everything. So now separated from her body, self image gone she's still in freakout mode. Ther'es an instinctive curling up of her in a ball, heaving silently and shuddering, like a porcupine or a hedgehog. Finally, there's movement from her mentally.

She's scuttling over, wary of the spirits. Hir like spikes as she goes to give a silent nod to Charles. There's still no shift in her 'body' or her speaking at all or mentally broadcasting. Despite being in the astral the only interaction she is doing is pure body language. No sense of empathy, no sense of emotion, no senes of thought being sent.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Your experience is shared by them," Charles tells Monet gently. In the astral, he reads like a strange, omnipotent 'thing', a warden of this place. Him taking the time to seat himself in this grass, to speak to Monet, doesnt' necessarily connect to what his presence is doing on a broader scale in the plane, but his special attention is certainly with her there. To give her time she needs, to allow her to face a small demon here -- it seems necessary, to pull her back suddenly would be a harsh emotional whiplash as well.

"They are also unable to think clearly, as emotions are so strong, the pain is so recent, to them. But that doesn't make them gone, or lost. They are still themselves, under it." Charles' astral form smiles gently to her, relaxed. If he's overextended or tired, he isn't showing it here to her or any of the spirits.

Monet St. Croix has posed:
There's a not quite terrified look over from Monet as she shifts just a little bit. The Penance form fading as she starts to try and process what is going on. Gazing over, paying more attention to all of the extended psi signatures as she's looks about. The fear lessening a bit. But still int he form of her freaked out persona.

This is among her greatest terrors. Being taken away from herself. In someone else's control. Her phobia and her terror. She's hesitant and lookinga bout, raw sensation in her. Emotion is leaking out.

Which is an improvement, given her mental state of a cmoplete lockbox.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Everyone here was pulled from their bodies into this place. Many of them torn, with so much force that it has shredded some how who they are. It is there, but buried, under this trauma," Charles says, speaking generally of the other spirits now, not Monet herself...

"They are stuck here, we don't know where their bodies are. You are different, though... you are able to leave here any time that you'd like," Charles says, with that gentle, calm quality. Several spirits are inquisitive, unsure, but have flocked over -- Charles has made an oasis of soft dreamscape here, that is attractive to those who have healed enough to notice and take in something about where they are.

"I need to stay to aid them. I won't leave them here in the dark," Charles continues. "No one should suffer that. When you go back, will you take a message for me?"

Monet St. Croix has posed:
There's a tense sensation over in Monet's form. As she forces herself to relax. Burying her fear once more. Not dealing with it. Not trying to face it. Just burying it within herself once more and acting like it's not there. She forces herself to focus. She is better than this.

She is powerful. She is focused. She is better than this. She gives a slow nod over along things as she forces herself to give her full attention to Charles.

Body turning back fully to that of M. "I.. Can do that. Yes." Self assuredness coming back.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Fear is healthy," Charles says, in a general way. "It isn't necessary to control fear... just to understand why it is there, what purpose it is serving: how it helps us survive." Charles looks at the peoples' shapes nearby. "We don't need to lock it away. It is healthiest to say... yes, I am reacting with fear. And that's valid -- it is valid to fear being lost here. It's a worthy thing, a horrible thing."

Charles pauses, then continues, "I fear that I will not be able to save all of these souls. I wish they were all as brave as you are, as capable to rally," Charles smiles aside at her. "And it is important to me to feel that fear. It challenges me to do better for them, to try harder. It is how I react to my fear that gives me energy, and resolve, from it."

Charles nods quietly, and adds, "The message is that I have a common image of a last memory, a place. Perhaps it will be something one of our number will recognize." It is a memory snippet, nothing more. Impressions of three individuals at a mall, laughing. Three women, ice cream, laughing about someone's crush.... and some sense of familiar environment. "It has importance, I cannot yet determine why. Perhaps we can understand more if we know the place."

Monet St. Croix has posed:
There's denial in Monet's tone. She is not brave. She is not fearless. Even while her ego would make her deny it to others. There's a look of rawness in her but finally a nod. SHe is getting in the way of other people being saved. There's pain in her.. But it's something she needs to be done.

"I understand." She mvoes to phase back over towards her body, being ready to go back to it and phase to primary existence. Where she had been tumbling out of the air and caught by James, and had just fallen down. Now she is back in her physical form.

Shuddering,s hivering, sweating. Yet denying it once again and back in her lockboxed reality.