11647/What You Feel, When You're Talking to Your Meal

What You Feel, When You're Talking to Your Meal
Date of Scene:	18 June 2022
Location:	Dormitory 01 - The Midnight Mission
Synopsis:	Agnes comes to visit Cael in her self-imposed isolation - to learn that no, Cael isn't mad at her, and doesn't plan on abandoning her at the first opportunity.
Cast of Characters:	Cael Becker, Jonathan Sims

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Cael Becker has posed:
    Currently locked into one of the dorm rooms under the Midnight Mission, Cael has made a few simple changes to the decore of the living quarters - and that was to add a punching bag, and a treadmill, to allow her ways to get out her often seemingly boundless, restless energy. In fact, she currently has her hands taped up as she works over the bag, a thing sheen of sweat on her body, as she lightly bounces back and forth on her toes. Some hispanic rap plays in the background, providing a steady rhythm for her as she works out, paying no attention to the door leaving the room - which is closed, but unlocked.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    There's a knock on the door and then Agnes peeks her head in. "Cael?" She's left the dogs in the other room, because Lady Grey is /still/ barking at Cael every chance she gets. She shoulders her way in, carrying a plate of... cookies? Yes, cookies. Snickerdoodles, specifically. And tea.

    "I, umm... I thought you might need a spot of... I mean... you've been holed up in here, so..." She's been around Martin enough to have decided tea and baked goods are how you help someone who's having trouble, evidently.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael looks towards the door at the knock, calling over a curious, "Yes?" When it's Agnes that enters - her posture stiffens, and she immediately retreats a step from the door - similar to how she had reacted the first time Jon had attempted to approach her upon waking.
    "Agnes. I- uhh... hello," she greets the girl. "Where's, uh... Jon?" Her gaze flicks past Agnes, towards the door, before resting on the girl again.
    She tries to tell herself that the anxiety she's feeling is //ridiculous.// They'd tested Jon's wards - she can't get out past them. And if she notices herself changing... Agnes has more than enough time to run for the door. Doesn't she? "Let's, uhh... leave the door open, why don't we?" she suggests.
    She doesn't want anything between Agnes and safety.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Dad's off trying to draw the symbols he saw on those werejackals last month," Agnes comments, going to set the tray down on the coffee table and then frowning at Cael. "Why would you want the door open? I thought we should talk, but if you don't..."

    She stands, and fidgets with her skirt a bit--she's wearing a skirt and t-shirt, her glowing sneakers, no leggings today. It's been hot. Then she bursts out, "I'm really sorry. I know... I know you must be scared and all, because I burned you. But I... I won't... well, I can't promise that I /won't/ if you go all... 'grr' again. But only then! I promise."

Cael Becker has posed:
    There's surprise at Agnes' words - followed immediately, though briefly, by a hint of amusement pulling up at the corners of her lips. Her expression almost immediately sobers, however. "That's not what I'm afraid of," she answers. "I don't even remember- The last thing I remember is shouting for you to get out. I just- I don't want you to have to fumble with the door, if somehow we're wrong about how all of this works. If... for some reason I start to change again. If that happens, I need you to get out. Immediately."
    She remains standing towards the back of the living room, using a towel draped around her neck to start dabbing at her face and neck.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Agnes stares at Cael for a moment. "I... but I /hurt/ you, Cael. You don't remember. I... you were burned all over, I was so worried..."

    She abruptly goes to sit down on the couch, showing no fear of Cael at all. "Is that why you've been avoiding me?" she asks softly. "You're... you're afraid you'll hurt me? Because you didn't. You didn't touch me. I... I think... if you came at me, I could just..." She holds up a hand and makes a small flame, balanced on her palm. Swallows.

    "Dad says it's a lucky thing I didn't burn the apartment down. He wants to start focusing on controlling... this." She makes the fire go away with a frown.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Of //course// that's why," Cael says with no hesitation, her gaze still locked onto the girl. "You're- the most important person in the world to Jon, and- you're a kid, and-" She shakes her head. "The thought of what I tried to do... makes me sick." She reaches up to rub her hand across her eyes in irritation (damned sweat - obviously).
    "And you did exactly what you should have done. I don't want you to hesitate, if you ever have to- whatever you have to do to stop me. It's alright. I want you to know it's alright. But I, uh... I don't plan on putting us in a situation where that's even possible anymore."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Agnes frowns down at her hands in her lap. "I just thought... it was like... I mean, I know you..." She bites her lip. "I thought it was like when Dad died. You run away when things get bad. When you're upset. I thought... I thought I scared you, and hurt you, so you were... avoiding me." She shrugs.

    "I'm not going to... I don't want to hurt you, Cael. Being a werejackal isn't your /fault/. I shouldn't... it's like a gun, right? I shouldn't throw fire at anything I'm not willing to kill." There's a stubborn sort of expression on her features.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "If Jon hadn't told me I'd been burned... I wouldn't have known it. I was healed before I woke up." Jon must have healed her at some point during the night - or at least, that was the conclusion Cael was leaping to. She starts to pace, still keeping as far away from Agnes as she can, both hands holding to the towel slung over her shoulders.
    "I know this is an awful thing to ask you to do, Agnes - and if you can run - I want you to. But I- the last thing I want is to wake up, and find out I've killed people. //Especially// you. So... if it comes down to it, then stop me. However much force you have to use, whatever that does to me... I want you to know I wouldn't blame you. That- I'd rather that, than the alternative. Alright?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Agnes' hands ball up in her lap and she keeps staring down at them. "Would you... would you /stop/, please? Just... just stop. If... if Dad thought you were dangerous he would've told me to stay away from you. I don't want to sit here thinking about... about next month of whatever, okay? I came to check on you. I wanted to... to be sure you're okay. But if I'm... but if you're that..."

    She squeezes her eyes shut, and tears fall onto her hands. "I j-just... I th-thought..." She's crying hard enough that she's having trouble speaking. "We're s-supposed to be... f-family, but..."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael winces, and stops her pacing - standing facing the wall, with her back to Agnes.
    She's a kid, Cael, she reminds herself silently. She's a damned kid.
    "We are family," she finally says quietly. "I just- I'm scared, okay? I was... myself one day. And the next day I'm- some sort of monster intent on attacking and killing anyone I can. I just want to make sure I do everything I can to make sure that never happens. I just want to keep you, and Jon, and Bear, and everyone else safe."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I'm not /safe/," Agnes spits out suddenly. "I'm... I'm never /safe/. I worry, all the time, about... about Elias watching me through the mirrors, about accidentally burning down the house if I get mad, about the... enemies Dad has, about what happens when I get the Archive..."

    She wraps her arms around herself and hunches over like she's trying to make herself smaller. "That's what Elias used to say," she goes on in a smaller voice. "'I'm keeping you safe.' So I never left the house, I never had friends, I never watched /television/. But I was never safe. He was the biggest threat, right there in the same house. 'Safe' is just a word people use to control others."

    She sniffles. "I don't care about being safe. I j-just... I just want you to be okay."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I was never safe, either," Cael admits quietly. "In a very different way, but- still. I rarely felt truely //safe// growing up. It's a shitty way to grow, I wish- I wish you didn't feel that way. That you didn't have to."
    Is she alright? Will she ever be? She takes a deep breath in - and lets it out slowly before she adds, "Jon swore to me he'd find a way to fix this. That... at the very least, he and Lydia can make something so that I, uh- I stay myself, mentally, when I do change. Jon'll make sure I'm okay. I just need to make sure I won't hurt anyone between now and then."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Bloody hell, Cael!" Agnes looks up finally, face tear-streaked, sounding a /lot/ like Jon. "It's not... the full moon was /five days ago/! You're not going to change /now/! And, fine, if you did I'll /run away/ but... but can you at /least/ sit down and have a biscuit?! I baked them myself and I got the whole kitchen dirty and I don't even know if they're any good..."

    She sniffles and looks down at her hands again. "S-sorry. I'm being selfish. I just... I don't like..." She swallows. "You shouldn't be alone in here. All... all cooped up and alone in here. You don't even have /Bear/."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I'm kinda used to alone," Cael replies in a wry voice. She wipes at her eyes, before finally turning back to look towards Agnes, her posture still tense, and her expression uncertain. "I just- I'd rather spend a month being sure we're right about how this all really works, rather than risking anything bad happening. Elias is somehow involved in all of this. What if he's using me to get at you, or Jon? What if he can force me to change somehow - when it isn't the fullmoon?" she asks.
    "Maybe I'm just paranoid - I don't know. But better safe than sorry - isn't it?" After a bried pause, she forces herself to start moving towards Agnes - even as that anxious part of her grips at her heart. "I guess I'll have a biscuit, though."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "If we let him make us so terrified we won't /talk/ to each other then he /wins/. That's... that's what Dad says. That manipulative bastards like Elias control people by keeping them afraid and isolated." That does, indeed, sound like something Jon would say. Agnes looks up and sniffles, watching Cael come closer. "You can be careful without avoiding me."

    She shakes her head. "That just... I don't know, it sounds silly. Trying to make sure nothing's ever dangerous. I could slip in the shower and hit my head and be bleeding and if you're so afraid you might turn into a werewolf... then maybe I bleed out and die. I just mean... all my life I heard how terrifying and dangerous the world is, but it really... isn't. Not as bad as he made it seem. I'll definitely avoid you around the full moon next month, and the wards are good, but... why would you change /right now/? Why wouldn't Elias force you to change when I'm not awake and on guard to maybe hit you with fire or run away?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Yeah, well, we could text. We could call. We could... play some video game online together. I mean, I've got some time to kill right now - you know?" Cael says dryly - before forcing herself to sit across from the girl. The roiling anxiety she feels at being this close to the teen was making her feel ill. It didn't really matter that she was probably being ridiculous - knowing that didn't make the anxiety any better.
    "Like I said - it's only for a little while, relatively speaking. I'd rather be careful, even if the chances of something going wrong seem slim. It's not for forever."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Well you /haven't/ texted," Agnes shoots back. "If you had, then maybe I'd believe that you really /are/ worried and not just... just running away from feeling bad." She crosses her arms across her chest and glares at Cael. "You're not allowed to run away. You didn't hurt me. You hardly even hurt Bear. If you ask me, this 'lycanthrope' business is highly overrated." She sniffs, but it's clearly an act. She /was/ scared of Cael-the-werejackal. Cael-the-human, though? Not so much.

    She frowns at the woman for a long moment, then says in a quiet voice, "Cael... if... if something happened to Dad... would you... leave? I mean. You're not my Mum. You didn't... you're not responsible for me, or anything."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Surprise shows on Cael's features - and she tightens her hands around her forearms, hugging herself across her middle as she stares at the girl. "...no," she answers quietly. "I wouldn't. For... a lot of reasons. Jon would never forgive me, for one. I... owe your mother. And-" Her voice catches in her throat, and she looks away, tears springing into her eyes as she hastily tries to blink them away.
    "No kid should be left completely alone in this world, with no adult that cares for them. I mean, I know Martin's coming back, but-" He's not here now, is he?
    With her gaze still directed off towards the wall, she adds in a quiet voice, "Besides, I care what happens to you. I care about //you.// We're family. Yeah?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Agnes blinks at Cael in surprise. For a moment she just stares at her, then says quietly, "I was going to ask you to promise to go find Martin if he wasn't back. So I wouldn't be alone."

    She fiddles with her skirt a minute. "But umm. If... if it'd be easier... we could play something in different rooms? You can pick the game. Whatever you like." She smiles, a little tentatively. Maybe she really did think Cael was just making up excuses not to be around her.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I, umm... I could try to find him - if that's what you wanted me to do. But I'd have no idea how to get there - and that'd leave you here, alone, in the meantime..." Cael says quietly, and awkwardly. "But, umm, no matter what - I won't just... ditch you. I wouldn't do that." She glances towards Agnes for a moment, then down at her hands. Fuck, she wishes she had Bear in here for this. Or would worrying about hurting Bear, too, just make her even more anxious? "Nothing's going to happen to Jon, though."
    After a deep breath in she adds, "I didn't mean to make you upset, or make you think I was avoiding you. I mean - well. I have been, but only because- hell, I can barely stand to have Jon around me right now. To- to even let them touch me." Several tears streak down her cheek, and she wipes at them with irritable frustration. Why is she- She shouldn't be doing this in front of the kid.
    "I should've texted you. I just had a lot on my mind, I guess. I, uhh- I'd like playing games, though. To pass the time. To stay in touch, until we can do stuff like the shooting lessons, and motorcycles again."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I thought you were mad at me. For hurting you." Agnes frowns. "I thought..." She shrugs. "It's okay, though. It'll be okay."

    She stands, and smooths her skirt. Hesitates, then says, "You don't know that. About Jon. About any of us. Everything... everything could just... end. Like that." She snaps her fingers. "I try not to think about it, though. I think it's probably better to just... be happy. Or try to be."

    She swallows. "I'll, umm... I'll leave you the tea, and biscuits. Okay? There's more in the kitchen. Dad loves pretty much anything with cinnamon, so I thought... well..." She shrugs. "He needs something to keep his energy up while he's working on this. And then I thought I'd bring you some."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael shakes her head. "I was never mad." She lifts her head to give Agnes a small, tight smile as she adds, "And- well. Thanks for the cookies. I appreciate it, really. It's all going to be okay... in a little bit. I mean - Jon promised to find a solution. A way to make me safe again - safe to be around. They'll figure it out, I'm sure they will, so- We just need to be patient for a little bit."
    She's silent a moment before asking, "Give Jon a hug from me? And give Bear a scritch, and a treat?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Agnes smiles. "I will. Don't worry, Bear is getting /pampered/." A pause. "He's, umm... Dad's actually got him, right now. I think Dad feels bad for him, since he can't be with you, and he /really/ wants to be. He keeps looking at the door to this room and whining." Aww. Poor puppy.

    Then she grins and adds, conspiratiorially, "Don't let him know we know, but I /think/ Dad's happy for the company. But I'll go hug them both and give Bear a treat."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Aww... poor Bear," Cael says in a wry voice. "This can't make any sense to him. But- things'll go back to the way they oughtta be soon. It's, umm... Going without him just reminds me how much I've needed him." Her gaze flicks towards the door, as if she might see the pup there.
    "Give Lady some love, too. She's a good dog. I can't blame her for not trusting me these days." And honestly - in a strange way, it was reassuring to have someone around that also felt Cael couldn't be trusted. Even if that someone was only a dog.
    After the teen leaves, Cael splashes some water into her face and pulls out her phone. The text she sends out is a simple one. 'Hey, next time you hug Agnes, can you tell her it's from me? <3'