12301/15 Fears: Lost at Sea

15 Fears: Lost at Sea
Date of Scene:	02 August 2022
Location:	The Velvet Room - Gardens
Synopsis:	Cael and Chas meet in the garden. Chas throws the ball for Bear, Cael searches for the bottom of a bottle, and they talk about fear, and lonliness, and family.
Cast of Characters:	Cael Becker, Chas Chandler

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Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael waits for Chas in the garden - the High Priestess bottle in one hand, and a slobber-covered ball in the other. She gives it a toss, and takes a swig from the bottle while she watches Bear eagerly chase down his toy, sending a kaleidascope of butterflies flying out of his way as he dives into a flower bush to emerge victorious.
    "Good job, Bear. Bring it on back," she encourages the pup.
    A single change has been made to Cael's increasingly eclectic appearance. A butterfly is now tattooed on the inside of her left wrist, visible as she lifts the bottle for another swig, its wings decorated in blue, teal, and gold.

Chas Chandler has posed:
    Chas emerges from the hall of the castle out onto the plateu. He watches the massive white dog bring the ball back to Cael and then takes in the accesories the woman has added. "More booze and more ink" he says approaching her. The dog is given a friendly scratch on the head. "Nice to see you too, Bear."

    He stops a comfortable distance from the woman and arches a brow. He does look vastly different with the short hair. In fact, he's barely recognizable as the same creature that tried to kill her more than half a year ago. "Do I need to ask why you're drwoning yourself or is it just Jon's increasing sabatical?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    The moment Chas arrives, the pup's course veers away from Cael - and directly towards Chas, nuzzling the angel before dropping the ball. Bear looks down at it pointedly, then up at Chas, then at the ball again.
    Always the traitor when given the chance. Cael rolls her eyes at Bear's antics.
    "They said they'd be back. That I should trust them. I'm getting to the point where- well. I need to find out where they are. Maybe I should go to //them,// I don't know." Would Jon want her to? Or would it be another sign she didn't 'trust' enough?
    "If I just knew when. You know?" She can't be too far into her cups yet - there's no slur to her speech, and she's steady on her feet. "...it gets hardest whenever I start thinking about going to bed. It's hard to get my mind to stop... spinning."

Chas Chandler has posed:
    Chas picks up the ball, not seeming to care about the drool all over it. He tosses it casually to let the dog chase after it. "You wouldn't be able to find him. Trust me. I've tried. I even asked for guidance from..." he gestures to the sky. "Nothing. No response. I suspect what Jon has to do he has to do himself."

    He sighs and repeats the exercise with the ball and the dog. "Far be it for me to quote scripture at you but 'For everything there is a season.'" He shrugs. "They'll be back when they're back. We can't rush these things." He sighs. "If it helps, you're not alone in that. His girl, Agnes, has been growing impatient as well."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I know she has," Cael answers - her gaze following Bear as he plays, tears welling up in her eyes. "You know- there was a part of me that was terrified of moving in with Jon, and with Agnes. Of admitting... they were important to me. Of feeling responsible, even partly, for the well being of a child. It frightened me, and it was hard to get over that. And now- everything feels so empty. I mean, it's how I used to live, but now-"
    She shakes her head, and stares down at the bottle in her hand. "I know Agnes isn't far away. I know it's meant to keep her safe, but- It's hard. You know? I let myself have a family again. I keep telling myself I still have one." But it's hard.

Chas Chandler has posed:
    For anyone else, Chas would reach out a hand to give the woman's shoulder a pat. But not Cael. That's not the relationship they have or ever had or likely ever will have. Instead he nods. "Families are as difficult as they are precious." He would know, wouldn't he? "Jon will be home soon enough. I assure you of that. He wouldn't have made the promise if he didn't intend to keep it."

    He smiles softly. "I trust that Jon will be gone only when the last star in the sky burns out. And it's unlikely if it will be a moment sooner... if he has anything to say about it." Likely Chas plans on being there at the same time ready to take up his place among the Hosts for whatever comes after.

    "You're family is still intact and I'm certain that the three." He shifs a bit as a great weight bumps against his leg. "Sorry, the six of you will be back at being that family in no time." He retreives the ball at his feet and throws it with a bit of english towards one of the corners of the garden.

    There is something more pressing on his mind tonight. Something he's wanted to talk to Cael about ever since they got Rien back. "Do you want to tell me about what you experienced?" he says softly. "On the boat, I mean. What the fog did to you? Where you went?" He nods to the tattoo at her wrist. "What prompted you to get that."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I'm trying to trust. I //do// trust, I just..." Cael shakes her head, then lifts the bottle to her lips for another drink.
    "I couldn't find any of you in the fog. I wandered the deck, calling for you - but there was no one there. No sound. No answer. ...I found a door leading into the hold, so I thought- maybe you went in there to escape the fog, but all I found in there was more fog, and empty halls. ...and Alis," she explains. "But there was something cloudy in her eyes. She didn't remember me, didn't remember herself. We walked together, and talked, and I- I wasn't sure if it was real, if it was really Alis, and that the Field of Reeds isn't what we think. Or if it was some trick //they// were playing, but I- how could I just walk away and leave her there?" she asks.
    "We'd wander, and talk, and eventually... she'd remember who she was. Who I was. And she'd get frightened, and run away, and I'd wander the fog alone, only to find her again, and remind her again, and she'd run away again... and again. And again. ...it wasn't really her, right?" she asks, looking towards Chas. "It's part of their- game? Their torture?"

Chas Chandler has posed:
    "'The Old Gods are capable of reflections of the things that are vulnerable in' people's 'hearts...'" Chas says, it sounds like something he read out of a book. Rote. "So it wasn't your sister, if that's what you're asking. It was your memory of her though. They took it, twisted it, and created an illusion based off of the extrapolation of it."

    He gives her a proud smile. "But you pushed them away. Rebuffed them. That's incredible and only shows how strong you are. Most would go insane in such a place or just get lost. That you didn't..." he shakes his head. "Incredible. Truly.

    He pauses and considers the situation. "I suspect the fog is the same fog that attacked Rien. The One Alone. But this delerious reflection... did you get a name from it? Something that it was called when it revealed itself. Anything significant about it or its actions when you told it to fuck off?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Lonely, and the Spiral," Cael supplies. "They both looked like me, but with- strange eyes. I'd- forgotten by then. Forgotten Alis, and you, and Rien. Forgotten why I was there, where I was going. Forgotten Jon. Forgotten myself. They wanted me to choose, but I didn't know hot to choose, when I didn't understand what they were offering, or who I was. I-" She lets out a laugh. "The truth is, if it had been just one of them? If they'd said, 'hey, come with me.' I- I would've, you know? I was just so lost, and I didn't remember my promises, or what I had to fight for..." Her gaze goes to the new tattoo for a moment.
    "So they let me remember some of who I was, so I could choose. And then- I saw my cuff, and I knew it was important to me. I knew it //meant// something. And that somewhere... my Mariposa was out there."
    She holds up her wrist, hefting the bottle as she explains, "Someone can take my cuff from me - but I figure their less likely to take my hands. You know?"
    She's silent for a moment before offering, "The Spiral is- I don't know. It talked of mazes, and making my own truth. Something about... questions, and lies." She frowns in thought before adding, "It said it would still come for me, and take me by force, instead of choice. But I haven't seen even a hint of them since."

Chas Chandler has posed:
    Chas puts Cael's words to memory. A spiral. Lies. Questions. Insanity?" he supposes and then shakes his head. "It's enough. If you see anything out of the ordinary..." he pauses and looks around them. "Anything -more- out of the ordinary than usual, you contact one of us immediately okay?" he says. His tone is more that of a leader at that moment. Official. Confident. Solid.

    "We have to stick together in this fight, if what they did to Rien is any indication of their intent, they want to divide us and take us apart from within. We can't let that happen." His voice softens then. "I'm glad you didn't make a choice. Even leaders need a soild foundation to keep them grounded. I know it's not your intention, but you do that for me. You keep me honest. Grounded. Make sure I don't let all..." he gestures to the garden, "this... go to my head. And I thank you for that."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Yeah, well, I didn't do it for you," Cael remarks with her dry, cutting humor. "I promised Jon and Agnes I wouldn't leave. I still have a family - even if we're not together, right now."
    I still have a family, she repeats to herself with determination.
    "...you're sure I couldn't just- figure out where Jon is and drag him back here?" she asks. "Maybe they're waiting for me, somewhere..." That's not what they said. They said they'd be back.
    She's really not the best at waiting.

Chas Chandler has posed:
    Chas takes the ball from Bear, who finally managed to find it, with a smirk on his face at Cael's cutting remark. He gives the ball another tricky toss for the dog to sus out and then turns back to Cael. "I mean, if you want to wander the astral, you're welcome to try. I'll even fly you down. But I wouldn't recommend it. You'd still need to eat and drink and sleeping there is not recommended. It can do weird things to your mind."

    He shake shis head. "Patience is a virtue that many of us need, Cael. He will get back when he gets back and nothing we do is likely to change that." It would be easier to put a hand on her arm in support but he doesn't. "We just wait. And trust. And ensure that the world doesn't crumble around us before then."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Is it too much to ask for a general ETA, though?" Cael counters. "Doesn't the universe owe us at least that much? If I know it's- another week, or two, or a month- ...if I just //know.// It would make it easier."
    She takes a swig from her bottle then mutters under her breath, "Fucking ungrateful universe." All they did was save all of existance, after all.
    "...I'll be alright. I just- don't have to life it in the meantime."

Chas Chandler has posed:
    "I don't like it any more than you do" Chas replies and then looks to the dog approaching with... a different colored ball than the one he threw. He looks at Cael. "You didn't bring any other balls up here did you?" he asks. He rolls his eyes. "Bloody castle and it's bloody tricks."

    He turns back to Cael. "Don't... overdo it with the bottle, okay? Just... take it easy and if you need anything" he gestures to the hall. "I'll be in the library. Alright?" he asks, making sure she understands the helping hand he is offering to her in this time of need.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Not this time, no," Cael replies - a ghost of a smile flickering over her features. Bear doesn't seem at all off put by the change in his ball. A Ball is a Ball.
    Dogs.
    She looks down at her bottle, studying it for a moment, then looks back towards Chas. "Not planning on finishing it off or anything. You know - just enough to help me sleep."
    Caldwell would have Things to Say about medicating herself with alcohol but- well. Everyone makes poor life choices sometimes.
    "Thanks, Chas."