12570/Diagnosing a vampire

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Diagnosing a vampire
Date of Scene: 25 August 2022
Location: Shelsky's Bagels in Brooklyn
Synopsis: Lydia invites Chas over to talk about her position in the JLD.
Cast of Characters: Lydia Dietrich, Chas Chandler




Lydia Dietrich has posed:
    A call went out to Chas and Rien to see if one of them can meet her in a public, neutral location. It seemed like the best way to assure the leaders of the JLD that she's not setting them up for an ambush like she did not too long ago.

    The location she chose was Shelsky's Bagels of Brooklyn, a relatively new shop that she had discovered back in her college days that had become one of her favorite bagel places. Despite the fact that neither Chas nor herself eat food anymore, she could order some lox to nibble on while they talk.

    Inside she's taken a booth, and waits nervously to see who shows up. She's aware she's on thin ice with the JLD and hopes to convince them she's no longer a threat. When she sees Chas enter, she stands waving him over. "Thank you for coming," she says. "I know my letter was a little abrupt, but I wanted to make sure that the JLD was a safe space for Jon. I still want to help, but I think it's better for everybody if I help from a distance."

Chas Chandler has posed:
    Chas settles down at the booth and sets his hands on the table in sight. He is stony face as Lydia explains her piece listening intently, his blue eyes calm and considerating. "No" he says plainly. No animosity, no scorn, no inflection to denote his emotion. He is impassive as a boulder as he regards her. "I do not accept your resignation. I did not give you a divine edict just to have you withdrawl from those you hurt, Lydia. You can't run from this problem."

    He leans forward and his eyes narrow slightly. "You can't escape this like you escaped your pain in the High Priestess' trial. You can't think that fleeing from the responsibility you carry for what you did is an acceptable answer and that absolves you. You can't get away from the simple fact that you let yourself be -eaten- by a thing that pushed you to attack one of our -leaders- without direct provocation and thing that 'I'll just give them space' is a good answer for those crimes."

    They narrow more and he says in a soft, dangerous voice. "What I did when I fried the Beast out of you will let me ignore it for a time... but not forever. And the clock's been ticking."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
    Lydia scowls at Chas' outright denial. "I... I wasn't suggesting that stepping away was going to be the end of it." She picks up a slice of lox and fidgets with it nervously. "I know I need to talk to Jon, and I'm planning on doing so within the week. I'd like for them to come to me when he's ready, but I don't know if they'll ever be. I at least need to attempt to reach out the them."

    She looks up at Chas, pain evident in her eyes. "I want to make amends, but I don't think amends can be made for what I did. I did the unforgivable, and if I can't forgive myself, how could I expect Jon to? I still have to try, though, to make things right, but I don't know what shape that would take."

    "Same thing with the rest of the things that I did," she says, finally popping the thin slice of cured salmon into her mouth. "I still have a bit of Viscera's power... enough to undo the things that I've done to those animals. I..." she winces, "I want to use that power as little as possible though. The more it's used, the more power it gives the Old One."

    "And /believe/ me, I want Viscera all the way gone, as soon as possible. I just don't know how. I'll need your... the JLD's help with this. I still want to help." She lets out a little bit of a laugh, "I had this idea that instead of sending what's left inside of me back to Viscera, I can trap it in a mason jar because, you know, it's a link to the real thing, and maybe you can use it to capture it in one of those crystal prisons. You found those, right? It's just that... I don't know if that's a good idea or not. Not anymore."

Chas Chandler has posed:
    "You're still wrong, Lydia" Chas says shaking his head. "Giving up before you realize the truth of the matter helps no one. It doesn't help you. It doesn't help those you hurt. And it only solidifies and gives these things a win. You're not dense. I know you can see that you're still playing into their hands. They want division, discord, to break us apart before the fight comes so that we're left a shell of what can truly fight them."

    His right hand twitches as if spasming a bit. "Running from us? Stepping away because you're so fixated on this 'safe space' for Jon is a shite excuse for the fact that you're ashamed. Just own that. Admit it and come forward with it bared. And you don't get to decide that there is no amends to make. That's up to those you hurt. Jon and anyone else you affected, that store kid in Mutant Town, the cat, all of them--good or bad--need to be put back the way they were before you messed with them. And then we take that thing out of you and put it in a crystal in the prison we're wardens of now because apparently that's what we do now."

    Blue flame pools into his eyes. "And if it so much as makes you flinch when we're pulling it out of you I will make what happened to your Beast look like a slap on the wrist." There is a sense that he is looking at something -inside- of Lydia and not Lydia herself. "I will make it suffer and I will ensure that it reminds its Master what fire and brimstone truly mean."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
    Lydia scowls when she's called out like that. "Of /course/ I'm ashamed," she says. "How could I not be? I'm just..." She clenches her jaw as if she was trying to hold something back. "I just don't want to hurt any more people. Or hurt the people I've already hurt even worse." She looks at Chas, her eyes rimmed with red with burgeoning tears. "I never thought myself capable of such evil, but clearly I am, and I need to make sure that that never happens again."

    When Chas mentions undoing all those people she helped she says, "I... do I have to? Of all the things I did when I was... in that state, helping those people is the one thing I don't regret. Especially the trans people. Going up to them and telling them I have to put them back..." she shakes her head. "I don't know if I can do that. I don't even know if I can contact them anyhow. I tried to keep it as anonymous as possible."

    Chas' righteous fury makes Lydia wince. "I think I'm allowed to flinch a little. I deserve it."

Chas Chandler has posed:
    Chas frowns a bit and reaches into his pocket to remove a dark blue, clean handkerchief. He slides it to her as he speaks. "That kid in Mutant Town. You gave him his leg back..." he says, his expression solemn. "I could smell the taint of Viscera on him. It might not activate now; it might not activate for twenty years, but it will turn on them. Might even kill them."

    "I can find them. It'll drain me, but I can find them if I need to" he says. "And I take you to them. You tell them the truth. What you did for them might hurt them down the line. And then you ask them if they want to stay with the change, knowing it might kill them in twenty years, or if they want to go back to what they were before the modifications." He shaks his head. "It hard, but what's better... them living and going through the slow and possibly painful process medicine gives them? Or you brutally killing them because of the quick fix you gave them?"

    He reiterates. "You have to give them the choice again, knowing the costs that might come with it." At her wince and commentary. "I didn't say -you- can't flinch. I'm saying -it- can't."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
    Lydia purses her lips and nods. "Okay. I can live with that if they're the ones making an informed decision. I just don't think I could have walked up to them and tell them that they have to give it back and didn't have a choice. I think I can find some of them on my own, but towards the end there, I was getting people from all over New York and Jersey."

    "There's also some taint lingering in Jon," she says hesitantly. "I could see it when we were fighting. I know I can rid them of it, but I doubt they'd let me touch them again. I can... point out where, and see if they can cleanse themself?" She shakes her head. "I don't know."

Chas Chandler has posed:
    "Again, let them make the choice. Give the offer and then let them make the decision knowing all the information. He's been using sunlight to try and cleanse himself, but something is still lingering, yeah," Chas replies and then sobers. "You're still a part of the team, Lydia and you need to be. I think this entire ordeal has proven how much can go wrong if we're not there for each other."

    He takes a breath. "And I think we'll need everyone whose been touched by these things when worst comes to worst. I don't have specifics and I don't know how I know... but something... maybe divine intuition, I don't know, tells me that we need to stick together to win this." He shrugs. "You still have the key as far as the Attendants are concerned, you're still on the team. They would make a point to take the key if you weren't."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
    Lydia nods again, looking at the small plate of Lox. "I'll give it a couple more days then send them a text. Facing them is going to be hard. For both of us." Finally red blood tears start to leak out of her eyes. "I've just hurt them so much already and I don't want to hurt them any more. There's no apology that will make things right, but I still have to apologize, and I know that's not going to be enough."

    She pulls out her purse and starts rummaging around in it until she finds a little box of tissues. "I've ruined so much of my life with this one mistake," she says, dabbing her eyes. "And yet it doesn't feel like adequate punishment."

    "Thank you," She says, nodding. "I gave back my key so I'll need to go with somebody to pick it up again."

Chas Chandler has posed:
    Chas nods. "We're going to fix it and you're going to make it right. Eventually. I don't expect forgiveness to come easily and the team as a whole may believe that punitive measures need to be taken for the actions made... but we're not going to kick you out. Aggressive, sure... but we're not stupid."

    He reaches into his pocket once more and withdraws a small blue key. The Velvet Key. He tosses it to her across the table. "No need. I can give it back to you. Margaret sends her regards and hopes to fix your Flesh problem soon." He shakes his head. "Some of them are... bizarre. Especially that one. She made us fight a penis monster to get into the prison you know? I mean, Buddhist demon of temptation--Mara--but seriously it was a giant penis on a chariot and it shot lava out of... you know?" He shakes his head again.

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
    Lydia stares at the key for a moment or two before reaching out and picking it up to put in her pocket. She nods and lets out a deep breath. "Right. I... thank you for giving me another chance."

    She blinks at the mention of a penis monster. "Wow. That would have been. Yeah. When I met her she summoned up Hastur. Not the /actual/ Hastur but some kind of weird tentacle monster." She lets out a little chuckle, "Thank God she wiped the floor with me. She's no joke. If I'd known getting to the crystal prison would have involved fighting her I would have given you a warning."

Chas Chandler has posed:
    Chas nods. "She wanted a display of power... so she forced us to fight a powerful creature. It wasn't easy but we managed and took it down. There's... still a number of mysteries to uncover in there but until you're fully clean... I'd steer clear of the lower levels." He fixes her. "Nothing to say she won't shove you in a crystal just to prove a point. They're essentially fae and they don't do things by halves. Most of the time getting one warning shot is enough for them to feel that they've done their due diligence."

    He rises. "Speaking of... I need to get back. There's some practice to making the crystals and Rien and I were going to attempt it without blowing ourselves up in the process." He turns back to regard her. "Friday might be a good day to come back to the fold. At least a start for it. Let me know and I'll be there to help, you won't get forgiveness, but you'll at least get acknowledgement. Right now, that's all you can expect."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
    "Yeah," Lydia says with a wince. "I'm going to just stick to the sitting room and library for now. We'll see how it goes from there."

    She nods at Chas' suggestion. "Friday. Got it. I'll be there." With a small smile she says, "Honestly, that's more than what I expected. I'll see you then, Chas." And with that she watches the angel go.