13350/Double the Pressure, Not so much Fun...

Double the Pressure, Not so much Fun...
Date of Scene:	13 November 2022
Location:	The Tin Cow Burger Joint
Synopsis:	Jason arrives to bail Phoebe out of a Double Date done Wrong
Cast of Characters:	Phoebe Beacon, Jason Todd

---

Phoebe Beacon has posed:
    That's the Statement of the Great Mint in Double Mint... wait, no that's a very old jingle.

    After dealing with Stuff and Things yesterday, and a collapsing hospital tunnel, and so many other things, Phoebe had agreed weeks ago to go out with a friend from college to dinner. And had kept her promise, only to find upon arrival that it was not what she expected.

    No.

    It was a set up. The girl had her boyfriend with her and they were making oogey-lovey eyes at one another and talking over every detail, as Phoebe was matched with a friend of the boyfriend.

    His name was Hudson Parrish. His father and mother worked in the stock market and had made a tidy fortune on trading stocks (some of it not on the up-and-up, not that he knew it), he drove a mercedes and had a landrover and his favorite hobbies were donating moderate amounts of his parents' money to fake charities meant to launder money and binge drinking on the weekends at Gotham U and its surrounding areas. He had already announced his intent on becoming the cover story of The Next Biggest JErk. Or at least that's what Phoebe interpreted his introduction of 'I drive a mercedes when the Landrover's at the dealer getting repaired' -- along with his long running commentary on how great he is and how great they could be *TOGETHER* as a couple.

    Phoebe is wincing into her Impossible Burger with sweet potato tater tots.

    "Oh, that seems very interesting, Hudson. So... do you... have any hobbies? Reading? Horseback riding? Martial arts?" she had asked.

    And a plea had gone out to the batkid groupchat, pinging her location with 'halp'

Jason Todd has posed:
Halp.

It wasn't the emergency code for running into a patrol situation that was out of hand.

It wasn't a robbery in progress. Seriously, who would try to rob Hipsters? That's just asking for headaches.

So that means some sort of social situation.

Jason studied his phone, looking at the GPS pin dropped location. After a moment he typed back.

>>Jason ;)

What does that mean? Was he on his way? Was he telling her she was on her own?

Fifteen minutes later he pulls up in his matte black Mach 1, stepping out and looking ever-so John Wick. He hasn't shaved in most of a week, giving him some semblance of Wick's beard. He wears a perfectly tailored black suit with a white shirt and black tie and perfectly polished designer dress shoes.

Clossing the heavy door to the car, he glances around before walking inside. Anyone who imagines he has two pistols resting against his ribs would be absolutely correct. And plenty of spare ammo. Why? Because it's Jason. He always hopes things turn .. exciting.

Stepping inside, he moves to the counter to order something while watching the 'situation' out of the corner of his eye. He needs more information before.. who is he kidding? He never needs more information before baring into a situation. But maybe he's trying to be sure Phoebe really needed bailing out.

Consideration from Jason Todd. That could be the most stunning part of it all.

Phoebe Beacon has posed:
    What the hell does ;) mean as a response to 'halp'. She wanted an excuse to leave. SURELY someone needed backup for something, right? Anyone?

    But no. Phoebe's distracted about the finer points of polo coming from Hudson, who has never actually played polo but knew it was a rich person sport by the rumbling of the matte black Mach 1 as it pulls up and...

    "...oh damn." someone says from the next booth over. "Someone is going to be killed. I kinda hope it's me. Hot Damn." the person states, going with the John Wick theme as the man walks inside. Unshaved, messy hair, the brawler brother of the Batfam knows how to make an entrance so that he's noticed.

    Even Phoebe's friend Janet has noticed him, and is not paying attention to her boyfriend as he steps up to the counter.

    "... man the men in Gotham keep getting *hotter*. All right, let's take bets -- mob? Supervillain? Going to rob the place? Is he tall enough to be Batman? Does /Batman/ have a beard?" she mumbles to Phoebe.

    And Phoebe... burries her face in her hands and mutters 'ohmigod'.

Jason Todd has posed:
Jason Todd orders an entirely not-vegan burger, an artery hardening serving of fries and a chocolate shake. Once his order is served, he stops by Condiment Row to stock up on napkin and little paper cups of ketchup and mustard. Then he finds his way to a booth. Oh look. The booth right behind Phoebe is available.

The tray is set down and the sharp dressed man slides into the seat, back to back with Phoebe. After a pause to appreicate the meal he is about to partake, he begins to unwrap his double patty burger.

Did he actually come to bail Phoebe out or watch her writhe in misery? Would he actually do that to others in the family? Yes. To her? C'mon, dear reader. You should already know that answer.

It seems like Hudson just wants to keep talking. Even with a hitman sitting just behind and to the side of him.

Jason takes a bite to at least appreciate this meal he may not finish.

>>Jason: Did he wear the brown pants? I've been here half a minute and I already want to give him the Full Meal Deal.

Phoebe Beacon has posed:
    Hudson doesn't. Even. Stop when no one's paying attention to him. And then, as people watch as the neatly dressed hitman takes a seat where Phoebe can't see him, and she gives a slight huff of breath.

    "Anyway. I'm sure you're interested in working your way up in Wayne Enterprises, I can't see a blue-collar born girl like you just being idly rich -- unless you want to be a Trophy Wife." Hudson states.

    Janet stops, and she turns in horror at Hudson.

    "Hud, Phoebe's a hard working girl!"

    "She's already taken interest in pediatrics and wrote a bunch of papers for the ethics club... didn't... you listen when she said that?"

    "Oh come on, guys, she's obviously paying someone to write them for her. She hasn't said an intellegent thing all night to me."

    Phoebe breathes out. Her shoulders tense.

    "Actually, I plan on going into the Tech division of Wayne Enterprises while I'm working my way through school and working up both medical charity work in order to improve the hospital system and to oversee the expansion of technology used to treat first responders and firefighters. That's something near and dear to my heart, since my dad Charles Beacon was killed answering a call in the Narrows. But you know, we blue-collar born girls wouldn't know anything about big, important business things. You should probably explain it to me like I'm five." she states, with no mirth at all in her voice.

    This guy is clearly not getting a second date.

Jason Todd has posed:
Fists. On the table. The sort that makes the plastic utensils on tables five booths away jump.

The well dressed form of Jason is out of the bench seat in the blink of an eye.

Later there will be questions. Questions that need answers. Answers that may never come.

The most important of the unanswered questions will surely be: Where did the pineapple come from?

The world my never truly know. But the reality is that it is set right on Smart Hudson's food tray. A tray that is pulled to the edge of the table where Jason stands. There -are- two pistols inside that unbuttoned suit jacket. The grips can be seen in the under arm rigging he wears.

But that isn't the next unanswered question. No, the next question is probably: Where did he get that huge knife?

The knife that is used to skillfully slice the bottom off of the pineapple right in front of Hudson.

"You talk too much. Sit still and listen to what you're being told by others. Just this once."

The voice isn't Batman but it's really damned close. Deep. Clear. No little bit menacing. Or maybe it's just the twelve inch blade being used to carve a pineapple right in front of Hudson's lap.

"Also, watch your fingers."

Phoebe Beacon has posed:
    Janet, her boyfriend, Hudson and Phoebe all give cries out. So many questions come up at once.

    IS that a haunted pineapple?!

    Hudson's eyes go wide as he looks up at Jason Todd, as the pistol-totting madman is CARVING A PINEAPPLE on his tray! His burger!

    "H-hey! You can't do that!" he states. Brave words for someone who is sitting at the window side of the booth, Janet's boyfriend (who had come to Phoebe's defense) looking completely aghast.

    "Hudson. Shut it." Janet states. She's a bit more on the realistic side. She knows what those handles under this guy's arms mean.

Jason Todd has posed:
Jason Todd continues to carve the pineapple.

"Yes, Hudson. Shut up and listen."

The blade slices so effortlessly through the spiney husk of the fruit. The sound is indescribable. But if one has cut a pineapple with a properly sharpened knife, one knows that sound.

It continues through the yellow flesh of the fruit.

"When you do all of the talking, you miss things, Hudson. Missing things is not the way you get ahead in life."

The fruit is flipped and expertly separated of its outer rind.

"When you talk too much, one of the things you miss, is how others really arne't interested in your bullshit, Hudson. Once you start throwing around class. White Collar. Blue Collar. You make yourself look fucking ignorant."

The pineapple is cut into rings and then the bits of core skillfully removed with one deft twist of his wrist.

"You overlook the fact that most money is made by those willing to put in the hard work. That'd be the blue collar people you're too busy looking down on."

That perfectly sliced ring of pineapple is lifted through the center hole on the tip of the blade. That knife tip then flips the top off of Hudson's burger and the pineapple ring is added before the knife skillfully flips the bun back on top.

"It was a blue collar cook who first thought to put pineapple on a Barbecue Bacon Burger. It elevates the experience."

Jason cuts a small wedge from another ring of pineapple and pops it in his mouth.

"The point in case you missed it is this: When you do all the talking you miss out on how smart everyone else is. They make you better. Listen more. Also: Insulting anyone in the Wayne family? That's just fucking stupid, chum." The knife disappears as quickly as it had arrived.

He looks to the others at the table then Phoebe. "Ms. Beacon, can I give you a ride home or do you think that order has been restored?"

Because this was entirely orderly. For Jason.

Phoebe Beacon has posed:
    Hudson is perfectly silent. He's realized that he's messed up. He's messed up really badly, and he can feel his knees jelly and his insides turn to water as that knife slices through the yellow flesh of the fruit, slicing, coring, chunking, and making Hudson Parrish look like an idiot.

    And then, as Jason finishes giving them all a really, really scary experience, extending to the tables all around them, when he addresses Phoebe though -- all eyes were on her.

    She takes a deep breath as Hudson squeaks: "He's with YOU?"

    "Yes." Phoebe states, and she stands up in her seat, sits on the back of the booth and swings her feet around, grabbing Jason's burger tray and shake as she turns to Jason.

    "He's the one I hired to bodyguard me." she states, and she gives a smile.

    "I think I'd like a ride home, please." she states, and carrying Jason's milkshake and tray, she crosses through behind him as someone whispers "Oh god, that's her *bodyguard*?"

Jason Todd has posed:
Jason Todd straightens up and waits for Phoebe to do the athletic, but not terribly lady-like, method of exiting her booth. He looks at the burger on the tray. "I think I'm done with the burger and fries. But they have good shakes." It hasn't even gotten its straw yet. "I thought you might like one for the ride home." So he got it for her? Or he's rolling with it.

He looks to Janet and her boyfriend, "I'm sorry for the disturbance." And he is. He's only not sorry about scaring Hudson.

Following Phoebe to the door, he opens it for her and then he follows her out. Then again, he opens the passenger door for her. Even he has manners sometimes.

Phoebe Beacon has posed:
    Ladylike be damned. Who is he, Alfred?

    "Well then we won't need the burger." she states, and she leaves it to the side as she carries the milk shake out.

    And she gets into the Mac 1, and clips herself in, setting her purse on her lap.

    And as soon as Jason gets in, she is going to lean forward and try... so hard... not to laugh.

    "I think he crapped himself."

Jason Todd has posed:
Jason Todd walks around the back of the car and to the driver's side. He opens the door and looks to the trio inside. He makes eye contact one last time with Hudson and... finger guns him.

Then Jason drops into the car. Buckling in himself, the car rumbles to life. The plastic ware inside the building rattle and jump on the table again.

Backing out - politely - Jason steers out onto the street. There are no engine revs, no burnouts. Just.. Driving Miss Daisy. He seems quite relaxed.

"If he didn't, I'm losing my touch" he offers quietly. He glances over, "You good?" He's sincere this time. No more tough guy act.

Phoebe Beacon has posed:
    "Yeah, Janet kinda sprung a date on me because I mentioned I'd never really been on one that didn't end in a fight." Phoebe just gives a slight grin, looking out the window as Jason calmly drives like a responsible adult.

    "Thanks for coming to my rescue. I think that was the *perfect* amount of drama to scare that jerk into actually being thoughtful." she smiles, and turns back to Jason.

Jason Todd has posed:
Jason Todd actually obeys all of the traffic laws. He even yields when he ought to.

"That's no way to arrange a date that goes well. Particularly with an asshat like that. /Hudson/? Who names their kid that? That's as bad as like.. Lyle. Or Edsel" he snorts with wonder.

He looks over and smiles. "You're welcome. I thought he could use some broadened horizons on his cullinary tastes. And to get a clue about the rest of the blather he was spouting."

He looks back to the road, "You think it'll work?" He shrugs, "I... could go either way. He might change. He needs to. Or he may go home and have a pity party over being "picked on". You know the type. Nothing is their fault. Depends on how mommy and daddy actually raise them I guess."

He looks over. "I didn't even have to get the crowbar out." There is a hint of disappointment.

Then?

He's turning into the parking lot and up to the valet station for one of Gotham's finest restaurants. He looks over "We're fixing that 'no date has ended without a fight' thing."

The valet attendants have both doors opened with white glove service in mere moments. The one getting ready to drive is trying hard not to drool all over himself for the fact he's getting to park a Mach 1.

Phoebe Beacon has posed:
    "Yeah... was that one of the haunted pineapples, or did you lift one from behind the bar?" Phoebe asks, eyebrows rising up as she peers out her glasses, and she gives a small laugh.

    "Hey, maybe his parents had a thing for place-names. Like naming your kid London or India. Bolivia." she smiles, considering.

    "I hope it does? I mean, he's not my type, not by a longshot. I can't stand polo or horse racing, and he's there thinging a landrover is going to impress me. I kinda wanted to be like, 'I could buy a landrover with what Bruce Wayne loses in the couch cushions'. but why waste it on someone who literally didn't listen when I said I wrote papers that got published for the medical ethics class?" she asks, shrugging, her hand in the air as if questioning the very way that the world works --

    And then he turns.

    "... "uh. Jason. Jason I'm not dressed for this restaurant." Phoebe states, meekly as the valet approaches the car.