1342/A Rae of Sunshine

A Rae of Sunshine
Date of Scene:	24 April 2020
Location:	St. Martin's Island
Synopsis:	Donna and Raven go for a pleasant walk in the sunshine. Even the clouds they bring themselves seem to clear up after a while.
Cast of Characters:	Donna Troy, Rachel Roth

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Donna Troy has posed:
    It's sunny. Not /very/ sunny, but in comparison to the last few days when rain was the only thing on the menu, it is. There are a lot of clouds in the sky, but they aren't causing trouble and the sun has been making regular appearances.

    Which means, Donna /insists/, Rae should too. Close to Titans tower, a couple of miles of the coast of St Martin's Island boasts a popular boardwalk. A literal boardwalk, it's two miles of planked walkway along the bay coast, with beaches on one side and an array of cafes, somewhat dilapidated amusement arcades, food stalls and sellers of touristy tat. At the far end there's an amusement park. This is where Donna insists they go.

    After two years stuck in the tower, Donna insists that Rae needs to get some vitamin D from good honest sunshine. Whether Rae will allow any sunshine to pass her hood is another matter, but it's likely Donna will try to intervene.

    The boardwalk isn't hugely busy at this time of year. Later on it will be, but right now Donna and Rae have a pretty quiet boardwalk to explore. And exploring seems to be Donna's intent. This has been a common walk for the Titans over the years, and Donna wants to know what's changed.

    Inevitably with places like this, the answer is very little. Such places seem to exist in a kind of bubble of time, always seeming to live about a decade in the past.

    On arriving at the boardwalk, Donna smiles wide. "It's good to be back. Three years." She gives a shake of her head and the smile drops suddenly. "Too long. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for saying sorry, but it may be a while before I can stop myself."

Rachel Roth has posed:
    Raven has been protesting. In fact, all she does is protest. The tower is nice. The roof is nice. The sun can reach it, and the island, with its copious shady trees, and quiet gardens bereft of people.

    Despite that the boardwalk isn't -busy-, it's still more people than zero, which is Raven's preferred number of people. Practically a walking grumble, the heroine has taken to wearing her hood up, and sheathing her hands in her pockets. Whether it's to spare everyone else the horror of being blinded by the sunshine hitting her pale, untanning flesh, or to avoid the sun entirely, is anyone's guess.

    "Oh look it's the same boardwalk we can go home."

    Said in one quick string, Raven immediately shifts to make her way back in the direction they'd come. Donna, being swift, will catch her with ease. There is much grumbling to be heard, but no specific words.

    "I am aware that your self-control is lacking, but at least that was in the shade and privacy of the tower." Without the Titans present, Donna would have to kiss her in the presence of all of the press that isn't on the boardwalk to get her back for that one.

Donna Troy has posed:
    "Rae! You can't just stay in the Tower all the time," Donna insists in the face of all evidence. She darts back to Rae's side, and catches Rae's arm with her own.

    Outrage piled upon outrage, Donna appears intent on walking arm-in-arm with Rae. While this may be less impactful than a kiss, it has the potential to go on a lot longer "Come on. A walk is good for you. And so is sunshine." She tilts her head towards Raven. "Or at least it would be if you didn't insist on having your hood up all the time. At least /try/ Rae."

    Donna eases up on the chiding to give Raven a smile. "Besides, you should get used to it. I've been thinking I should take you to visit my home some day, and it's sunny there. Really sunny. Warm, gorgeous skies, blue seas... I'd say 'you'll love it,' but honestly I'm really saying I love it and I hope you would to."

    Thankfully Donna is distracted. "Look! That donut place. Remember Cy challenging everyone to a donut eating contest? What as that, five years ago? The tower had just opened. And now Cy's back. Wally too. Just about everyone, apart from Hank." And Don and Kole, but that's a shadow Donna is trying not to cast over the day.

Rachel Roth has posed:
    "Yes I can." she retorts, caught by the arm and pulled into a display of affection so brazen she wasn't entirely sure that Donna had it in her. "I'm very good at it." Raven is, momentarily, hurt. The woman hadn't noticed her comment.

    "I walk often. I do yoga and lift various weights." she comments, looking around at the various people who very likely aren't staring. "I -am- trying. It is you who is dissatisfied."

    There is a raise of her brow at the other woman's statement. "We are just now becoming comfortable, and you wish to test this arrangement by bringing me to an island filled with beautiful women? I did not think you would return so adventurous."

    Despite this, her attention does shift when Donna mentions the Donut Shoppe. There is a momentary look of queasiness that comes over her features. "I remember the donut genocide, yes. I also remember feeling very sick to my stomach. Five years is not enough time." A moment of silence, either for fallen donuts or for lack of anything immediate to say to the return of some of the middle-aged Titans.

    "The younger ones will need the experience. If only any of us were good teachers."

Donna Troy has posed:
    "You notice I am /not/ heading in the direction of the donut shop," Donna says with a laugh. "You weren't the only one feeling sick after that day. It was a challenge even to an Amazon constitution. I propose that in the spirit of renewing old traditions - that's one we give a miss to."

    Donna turns a bright smile on Raven, one reflected in her huge dark eyes. "I'm not dissatisfied, Raerae. Honestly I am remarkably satisfied. More than I had expected I would be. But I want the best for you."

    "As for islands full of beautiful women," Donna says arching an eyebrow and smirking a little. "This seems to come up a lot. I don't know if you were under the impression that Themysicra is a 24/7 rolling orgy, but it is not. People are people, wherever you are. I mean yes, it's true that you'd be hard pressed to find a face on Themyscira you wouldn't consider beautiful and eh..." she glances around at the few other people walking the boardwalk. "Certainly people there keep themselves in better shape than they do here. On the other hand here you are in Metropolis, with a population a thousand times larger than Themyscira, and even if you are only interested in half that population, it's not like you have been lacking in options here, you know."

    There is a moment of awkwardness as Donna considers the fact that Raven had only had those options for one year of the three. A few dozen steps along the boardwalk in silence, passing a video arcade so ancient-looking that it has probably become a shrine for retro gamers. "I can teach. It's partly why I am here. Mom wasn't eager for me to return, but she is eager for our ways to be spread, and that's pretty much how I sold her on it."

Rachel Roth has posed:
    "A small mercy. I second the motion." she states, taking her attention from the donut store and placing it firmly on Donna. "I think you grossly overestimate the ability of Metropolis' citizens to compete with those of Themyscira."

    There's a long silence, then. "I thought about going there. It wouldn't have been popular. I'd read... Only enough to know where you were, or rather... That you were there. I don't think it would have been difficult. Not in the arrival." Raven's ability to -be- anywhere cannot necessarily be overstated.

    Her attention shifts then to where they're walking, and she keeps pace, despite that she's not quite as tall and never as energetic or interested in walking so quickly. "I see." A thoughtful pause. "So that's the play. You wish to bring me to meet your mother."

Donna Troy has posed:
    Donna's laugh is musical and loud enough to attract a few stares. Out of costume and with the Titans dormant for so long there are no signs of recognition, so the attention doesn't last long. She gives Raven's arm a squeeze. "More like I wish you to see my home. It's a wonderful place, so peaceful. Well if you aren't on the training fields. There's so much there I'd love to show you. Maybe it is just my bias, but I don't think there is a place in the world more beautiful. "

    There's a mischeivous grin. "Also the library is kind of awesome, a bookworm like you? I'd have to fight to drag you out of it. Unless of course..." she tosses her head playfully. "Unless you were too busy exploring the other delights the island has to offer. No doubt within minutes of arriving, you would forget all about me."

    Donna slows down a little, becoming aware that she is perhaps walking slightly faster than Raven's preferred speed. The slowed pace is mirrored somewhat in her demeanor though. "Don't try going there on your own. The island is magically protected. Maybe you could break through that, you're powerful. But it wouldn't be appreciated. Mom's not too keen on unannounced visitors."

Rachel Roth has posed:
    Sighing aggressively, Raven relents easier than usual. Maybe it's Donna, maybe it's because the place sounds nice- but regardless, she's acquiescing in a way that is only slightly unlike her. "I will be staying away from the training fields. I appreciate the silence, if it's as peaceful as you say."

    Raven- not necessarily uncharacteristically- seems unimpressed at the mention of the library. "I have not shown you some of the places I've read." she remarks- grammatically, it works. Some of the -libraries- she's read. "I think I will enjoy the rest of the island more. The serenity is valuable, especially as the tower crowds again." Momentarily, her brow raises, and she looks over at her companion. "You will have to try and keep my favor, then. I am easily swept away."

    There is a nod of affirmation on Donna's last statement. "I don't want to go there alone. I would not have been alone had I gone. That was my thinking."

Donna Troy has posed:
    "I don't know how I'd have reacted if a messenger had come to find me and tell me you'd arrived on the island unannounced." Donna smiles a little a the thought. "I'm sure mom would have blamed me. Our library might surprise you though."

    A few days earlier Donna had teased the team's newer bookworm, Terry, with thoughts of the library. There are works that the world thought lost in the destruction of the library of Alexandria that still exist in the library of Themyscira. Other books that Apollonius and Eratosthenes could only dream of. Hypatia herself once visited Themyscira and left the library in tears.

    Donna seems lost in thought. "There's a duty we all have to do," she begins slowly. "On the island there is a gate to another realm. The worlds of Tarterus. It is our duty to guard the gate. We take turns. Ten of us at a time, for a lunar month. Those who go stand guard isolated from the rest of the island, only the other nine for company. Security reasons. Shortly after I returned, my mother assigned me double duty. Eight weeks straight. I thought I was being punished for something, but she was just trying to help me get my head right. When my duty was over, that's when I learned what had happened to you all. "

    She gives her head a little shake, then looks back to Raven, smiling a little sadly. "The second time was last year. There was another Amazon on duty with me. Alcimione. We had never really talked before, but we became good friends during that month. She... she's easy going. Laughs a lot. Whenever we had some time to relax at the same time, we'd be hanging out with each other. Talking, laughing, trying to ease the pressure a little. Afterwards..."

    Donna chews her lip thoughtfully. "I wondered if I was falling in love with her. Afterwards we spent some time together, but it was never the same. It was like the pressures of the duty gave us something in common, and without it that just dried up. She's three thousand years old, I was twenty-four. Nothing happened, and we drifted apart. In some ways Themyscira is a lonely place for me."

Rachel Roth has posed:
    Raven likes the silence- that way, she doesn't have to explain anything. The celestial libraries she's broken into. That she's technically a felon in that regard. It wasn't a matter of stealth, either- places that are supposed to be closed to every being in existence are, in many ways, open to her. Despite that, though- that's magical scripture. What Donna alludes to is historical text. In some ways it is less interesting... But she doesn't have a degree in the subject because she finds it -boring.-

    Raven is... Mostly silent through Donna's story. Halfway through, her mood seems to sour a little. Her expression remains neutral, but there are these... Tiny shifts in it, that are obvious enough to anyone who's known her for some time. She figured, internally, that she'd be more comfortable with a story like this. That she'd be able to handle Donna having had a friend, or even more, on the island. Despite that, Raven doesn't entirely sound comfortable when she speaks.

    "I don't know why I would need to be told that."

Donna Troy has posed:
    Donna stops suddenly and lets out a frustrated sigh, letting her arm slip from Raven's. She catches up before Raven really has time to react, closing the distance so that they are walking almost shoulder to shoulder, but she's no longer holding onto Raven's arm, and there's a sense that she's more distant emotionally now than physically.

    "You didn't /need/ to be told, Rae. I'm... sorry. I'm just trying to be open with you. I want... I thought you'd like to know more about me. I spent a lot of time not being entirely truthful, now I... doesn't matter."

    Donna nods in the direction of a rather brightly decorated cafe, advertizing 'Traditional Austrian pancakes and the world's best espresso'. "Hey, I remember that place. It opened up shortly before I left, never did get to try it. Did you guys ever go? Maybe we should check it out some time."

Rachel Roth has posed:
    When Donna releases her arm, Raven's hand slips into her pocket properly. Her body language is as closed off as it ever is. Perhaps moreso. Her face is hidden entirely by her hood from most angles, as it seems to slide further forward.

    "I was under the impression that what we had was... Special. Not unique, but something doesn't have to be the only one of its kind to be special. I do not know how you thought I'd feel to hear that while you were gone, after you -left- me, that you would approach something of its kind with someone else, that all it seems to take to make you feel that way is shared duties."

    There is a sort of... Anger, there. It's that shallow, not-quite-surface level sort of anger. Inward, mostly. Raven has begun to consider herself foolish. As if, of course, it wouldn't be special.

    As if... Of course she would be easily replaced.

    "Mm." she practically grunts, "I've never gone. I do not typically linger anywhere that isn't the tower. Even less so, lately."

Donna Troy has posed:
    Donna sighs. There are a few more steps taken, and suddenly she stops, standing directly in front of Raven, facing her. "Rae... how do you not get this? How do you take /that/ out of what I just..."

    The fire quickly subsides, and Donna gives a small shake of her head. "Sorry Raerae. But that's not... it's the other way around. Don't you see? That's exactly what it /wasn't/. It didn't make me feel that way. That's what I'm telling you!"

    Donna lowers her eyes to the wooden boardwalk planking for a moment, then raises them again slowly. "You keep saying things to me like... a whole island full of women. Like you expect me to fall for the first Amazon I spoke to the day I got home. It's not /like/ that. Usually the next youngest person on the island is like... thirty-six times as old as I am. And she's my /sister/."

    "I don't... I /can't/ connect with them in the same way I do with you. That's what I'm trying to tell you. " Donna lets out a soft sigh. "I didn't know if there was something special to come back to Rae. Didn't know if I'd blown that. But I did know there wasn't something for me that... this... special back home. Realizing how much I didn't have in common with Alcimione proved that to me."

Rachel Roth has posed:
    The fire in Raven doesn't die down. Instead, as Donna feeds her this- genuine or not, that is when it truly flares up. She tries, of course- to stamp it down. Just like when she very politely stops herself from reading emotions and minds in the immediate vicinity.

    "Then why do you keep telling me that you're 'not sure'?" she retorts, rather immediately. "Why do you tell me this and pretend that it won't hurt. Like you lost how you felt over three years, but I didn't. I expected you to return with knowledge of yourself, I expected you to -know.- Instead you insist you don't and don't seem to care how much pain it causes."

    She's -seething- now, in a way that doesn't seem to be Phoning Home, as it were. "And then you tell me this, tell me you -learned- that what you felt was genuine on Themyscira and you -still- came home to tell me that you weren't -sure.- So, please, you tell -me- how I was supposed to take it? How am I supposed to feel that you'll keep me at arm's length when I've been trying to invite you back in?!"

Donna Troy has posed:
"*Because I...!*" Donna stops herself suddenly, aware her voice was raised. She blinks a few times in surprise at her own reaction, and her eyes flicker away from Raven. She takes a few small steps from where they had stopped, and turns to look out to sea, with her arms folded.

    She starts again, much more quietly. "Because I'm not sure it is right for /you/, Raerae. Or fair. I walked out on you without even giving you a proper explanation for why. Three years later I come back and you..." she shakes her head. "You've only been /you/ for a year of that. I don't know... I expected you to at least be /angry/ at me. Instead, there's... everything that happened. In the mirror. One part of you wanting to kill me, one part of you... And then it's like one... like one part of that just went away and the other..."

    Her eyes are turned away, but there's the hint of a sniff. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just being stupid. It just doesn't feel... like I earned it."

Rachel Roth has posed:
    Donna stops herself before Raven can rebut. Instead, the half-demon starts to pace, moving back and forth behind Donna. There's... Thought going on. A barely restrained disappointment and anger that's been bubbling before the surface.

    "Can't -I- make that decision? Am I not allowed to choose?" She's raising her voice. By now, she sounds a good deal louder than even a normal person. "I was me for three years, stuck in a constantly replaying nightmare where my own hatred, the part of me that wants to kill -everyone- at -every- waking moment tried to convince me that it was right, and one of the few things, the -very- few things that helped me hold on was imagining -you.- Imagining that if I could just get out of it one day, that you'd come back and you'd -know- and that we could be together."

    She doesn't speak, for a moment. She lets that linger for a moment, before continuing. "Did you think I'd begrudge someone for needing time to figure themselves out? The closet door doesn't always open easy, and it's not always easy to take the steps. I knew why you left before you did, and until you told me that you still 'didn't know' somehow, I was okay with it. I'm allowed to not be angry. I can't, I -won't- punish you -for- you."

    Turning away, then, and then making her way back to where she'd started. "You don't have to -earn- it, you just have to -accept- it."

Donna Troy has posed:
    Donna keeps her face turned from Raven during her speech. Raven hears a sharp, slightly shuddering intake of breath at the 'imagining -you-' line.

    During the short moment of silence that follows, Donna's hand goes to her face in a gesture that looks suspiciously like wiping tears away, but by the time Raven finishes speaking, Donna has finished wiping.

    When Donna finally turns back to face Raven, the expression on her face is almost comically contrite. Her lower lip may even be projecting very slightly. "Rae... am I not allowed to feel guilty?" Her lips wobble a little as if struggling to find the next words, and her gaze flutters downwards.

    Donna takes a step closer to Raven, exhaling slowly. "It's just... you. And everyone else too. Everyone's been brushing everything away, saying nobody blames me. I spent three years blaming myself. I didn't... I just feel like I'm waiting for the other penny to drop."

    An expression of misery crosses her face for a moment, and she corrects herself. "Shoe."

    Donna steps forwards again. "I'm sorry Rae. It's just... before I had time to process that I was back, I was in that mirror, and I was trying... I wanted to help you. More than /anything/. And I let the others come along because it seemed /right/, but I was doing... and then it looked like it was all over, like I'd failed to help you and got them all killed, and then... "

    Donna reaches her hands out to try to take Rae's. "I'm sorry Raerae. It's just... emotional. Can you forgive me?"

Rachel Roth has posed:
    Raven's hands are in her pockets, and as Donna reaches for one, she doesn't remove them. Donna has the strength to force the issue- but will she? Raven's expression doesn't soften.

    "You're allowed to feel guilty, but you're not allowed to throw away all of our forgiveness like it doesn't -mean- anything. You're -allowed- to be forgiven." Her expression is dark- hurt. Angry.

    "They came across my body in a darkened room free of rot and covered in two years of dust. If any of them believed they were safe in staying, they were fools. They knew they were at risk.

    Lingering there, Raven looks up at Donna's face.

    "I don't have to forgive you. Whether I do or don't at this stage doesn't matter. -You- have to forgive you, and I won't let you manipulate me into building the noose for you." There is a momentary pause. Unless she's held back, Raven will start taking steps away.

    "I'm not... Abandoning you. But I can't make you do this. If I could, you would have done it. I'll be at the tower when you're ready. When you know."

Donna Troy has posed:
"No... Rae, wait up!" Donna doesn't initially try to stop Raven, but once the walk back towards the tower has started, she moves. In an instant Donna is in front of Raven, walking backwards. They may be out of costume, but if anyone saw that, there wouldn't be much question they'd just witnessed someone doing things normal people can't.

    Donna holds her hands wide. "I'm saying... I'm asking... forgive me for /this/. Today. I heard what you said. You... you're right. I'm... three years of guilt isn't something I can just switch off Rae, but you're right. "

    Donna comes to a halt in front of Raven, looking her deep in the eyes, her hands going out to hold Rae's arms. It's a very gentle hold though. She's not going to try to stop Raven escaping, if she choses to - that would be a futile excercise anyway.

    "I'm not trying to manipulate you into making a noose. I spent three years making that noose for myself, and you took it away for me. I'm just taking a little time to realize that I can't feel it there any more, that's all. I promise."

Rachel Roth has posed:
    Raven stops, not when bidden, but when Donna makes the effort of pulling in front of her. She is walking for a reason. Had she a definitive need to leave, it's questionable whether there's a force in the universe that, at the moment, could really stop her.

    Still, her expression doesn't change immediately. She closes her eyes, and takes one calming breath. Inhale, exhale. "I know that it doesn't just switch off. That was what we were all here for. That is what all the forgiveness is for. To tell you that it's -okay.- To help your hand to the switch, to pull the lever, whatever analogy you want to ascribe to it."

    She remains calm- but as with many of the things she says, Raven lets that sink in before she continues. "You're forgiven, for today. But until you... Until you -know.- This can't... -We- can't."

Donna Troy has posed:
    "You've always been much better at keeping your emotions in check Rae," Donna says with a rueful smile. She keeps her hands on Raven's arms. "I'm rash, impulsive. I get angry in fights, I get... I guess we're a passionate people."

    Donna's smile softens, and for a moment she looks down almost shyly. "I get it Rae, I really do. I promise. My /head/ gets it, it just takes a little time for my heart to catch up. But you're right. You are special to me in a way nobody... We have something special. Yes. I know that. I was a fool. I came here to make up for that, and I'm... I would have fought an endless army of demons just to have a chance to help free you, I would be a bigger fool still if I couldn't... well." A small grin breaks across her face. "If I couldn't see how foolish I'm still being. But I'm trying, and you're right. And I /do/ know that. I promise." She leans forwards to place a chaste kiss on Raven's forehead, just above the jewel, as a kind of punctuation for the statement

    Donna's hands slide down Raven's arms, attempting again to find her hands. "So maybe -we- can?" she asks.

Rachel Roth has posed:
    Raven stands- and, for the moment, she is held. Her acknowledgment of Donna's statements is nonverbal, for the most part. The other woman isn't saying the -wrong- things, that's for certain. Otherwise, Raven would most definitely be vocalizing.

    When the other woman pecks her on the forehead, Raven frowns, but in the mildly playful way that is very difficult to recognize as playful, because it's a frown, and she wears it very well.

    "Great. Now I have to wipe lipstick off of my forehead."

    Jest aside, Raven's hands leave her pockets. She looks at them for a moment, in Donna's, before her eyes make their way back up to the other woman's. "We can. -If- you're ready."

Donna Troy has posed:
    "It matches your jewel," Donna replies quickly, a moment of more than mild playfulness she can't quite stop herself from indulging in.

    "I can't promise that I won't have a moment's doubt from time to time. Not about you. Not about us. Just about me. But I'll know it for what it is. Is that sufficient?"

    Donna looks down at their hands too, smiling a little. She lets her thumbs lightly caress the tops of Raven's fingers. She glances back towards the tower. They haven't come far, and it occurs to her that she could probably run there faster than Raven would be able cast the spell that would return her instantly. It occurs to her that she could do this while /carrying Raven/.

    Donna doesn't act on the thought. Instead she gives Raven's hands a light squeeze, and nods her head. "I'm ready." She says it quietly at first, but then repeats it, eyes locked on Raven's and voice louder and more confident.

    "I'm ready."