13460/The Man In The Mirror

The Man In The Mirror
Date of Scene:	28 November 2022
Location:	Psalakantha's Greek Cafe (Near The Village, dontchaknow?)
Synopsis:	Billy knows that the best way to drop a bomb on Tommy is to placate him with food first, and afterwards.
Cast of Characters:	Billy Kaplan, Tommy Shepherd

---

Billy Kaplan has posed:
<<SO.>>
<<Sorry I've been away.>>
<<Had some stuff to deal with and>>
<<You wanna grab something to eat?>>

Billy hasn't known his brother long, but he is a fast learner. He knows that there are magic words that can be used if one wants Tommy Shepherd to show up- aside from 'BringTommyHereBringTommyHereBringTommyHere'... and ones that have fewer chances of backfiring due to inexperience. The invocation of food is usually effective.

Psalakantha's is a quaint little Greek cafe not too far from 'The Village'- enough blocks away for it to be relatively inexpensive, but close enough to still benefit from the foot traffic. Billy has managed to secure a table not too far from the door. He showed up at least fifteen minutes early to make sure a table would be available- it gets busy at lunch on Sundays, but that's enough people that conversations won't be overheard, but rather will get lost in the sea of human voices.

He has the menu in front of his face, momentarily caught in the struggle between two dishes, neither of which winning just yet. "Mmm... spanakopita, maybe?" he says quietly to himself.

Tommy Shepherd has posed:
<<no prob, had a bunch of homework over the break anyway>>
<<also tryin to pick up extra deliveries before the holidays>>
<<$$$ for everyone who wants to skip the crowds>>

    Then the little ... to signify Tommy's typing, where he has to delete five different too-enthusiastic replies, because the last thing he wants to do is give the impression that he's purely food-motivated. He's only, like, 90% food motivated! So he settles on counting to ten seconds along with the clock on the wall before

<<sure, just tell me where>>

    In-between one of the many syllables in 'spanakopita', the table shakes and the scrape of the chair opposite Billy's across the floor announces Tommy's arrival, hands cupping his cheeks and speed-reading the back of the menu Billy's holding. He's wearing a hat branded with the El Paso Chihuahuas team mascot, which is... you guessed it... a chihuahua.

    "I think that's a great idea," he says. "And also baklava. Would it be weird if I order that as an appetizer?" Tommy doesn't actually give Billy a chance to respond. "Yeah I'm gonna order some as an appetizer."

    He smiles and leans back in his chair. "Also, sup."

Billy Kaplan has posed:
Billy isn't quite used to speedsters yet. He should be, and he'll get there, but not today. He gives a little start- just a little one- at Tommy's voice, and then he sets the menu down with a relieved, nervous chuckle, "Sounds good to me too, yeah," he sets the menu down and makes a quick decision. Sometimes he can take too long to decide, but knowing Tommy- making him wait would be sheer agony.

"Well, aside from still not believing I woke up in a swanky embassy? Okay, I guess." He gives Tommy a little smirk, "America seems to be off on some excursion for a bit, I got the impression she's 'AFK' from this universe for a bit..." he pauses for a second, a finger resting on the menu, as if letting some sort of instinctive mystical sense guide his choice, "Did she talk to you before she headed out? You know, did she talk about... anything?"

Tommy Shepherd has posed:
    "Sorry," Tommy says immediately, because he does have some sense of tact. Very small, admittedly, but it's there. He reaches up to turn his cap around backwards and then leans forward again, this time to read the menu under Billy's finger. Upside-down, but even if he struggles with it, it still looks like he's reading it at a decent pace.

    He glances up at mention of America, but then his eyes drop. "Uh... not really. But I guess I was kinda... you know..."

    The way he tries to pretend that he's focused on the menu and the decision between the moussaka or gyro is very transparent. Tommy's as decent at lying as anyone who spent his teenaged years getting into a lot of trouble ought to be, but it's different when it's your twin brother. Even if you only recently discovered you had a twin brother.

    "I've been trying to avoid her. She acts like she knows us, knows *me*, and it's just... weird. Because she doesn't. And I don't know her, either." He pulls away, shoulders rising as his head ducks down, and then Tommy lets out an expansive sigh. "I dunno. It's all still so freakin' weird."

    After a brief pause, he adds, "Uh, no offense? You're cool. And it's nice having family who actually want to have anything to do with you."

Billy Kaplan has posed:
Billy shakes his head and gives a little laugh, "No offense taken. It /is/ weird. I mean, I do have two younger brothers--" he leans forward a bit, "I call them Thing One and Thing Two- but I always wanted someone my own age, y'know?" He pauses for a moment. He remembers wishing it, as a child. Could that have-

No. No, he didn't manifest his powers then. No. It had to be Wanda. A Wanda.

"That means you've got two younger half-brothers to lord your coolness over. Benefit." He says with a grin. A decision is made, just in time as Irma, their waitress, arrives to take their order. "Um. I'm gonna have the Sultan combo-" because that fixes a lot of things. It has a small sampling of everything he was conflicted about. Win-win. "And a lemonade, please!"

Tommy Shepherd has posed:
    Billy laughing sets Tommy at ease. This whole thing feels like a minefield to him, too far off of anything he's ever encountered to even begin to try to navigate it. At least Billy seems willing to just sort of run full speed ahead on figuring the mystery out.

    Which is funny. You'd think that would be Tommy's thing, given the givens.

    "I always wanted a brother too. Someone who I could split the blame with when I got in trouble, y'know? Figured the punishments might've been easier if there were two of us, but my ma never had another kid after me. Guess I was too much of a handful." He looks contemplatively down at his hands on the table, eyes narrowed in thought. "Who knows, maybe they have a whole new family now? Like a do-over."

    His head snaps up when the waitress comes over, and then Tommy's looking at Billy. Quickly, though, he looks down at the menu, and wouldn't you know it: the Sultan combo comes with gyro meat and a slice of moussaka, as well as a bunch of other stuff. Problem solved, almost too easily. He holds up two fingers as he says, "Two Sultan combos, please. And could I get a glass with half lemonade, half iced tea?"

    "Like an Arnold Palmer?" Irma asks.

    Tommy looks blank-faced for a second before nodding. "Yeah, sure."

    After she's walked away, he shakes his head. "You ever make up a thing and think you're a genius but it turns out it's, like, been around forever or something?"

Billy Kaplan has posed:
"Oh man- all the time. Like, I'd come up with TV shows all the time as a kid and my mom would be like, 'Oh, you mean like She-Ra' and I'd go like 'huh?' and she'd get out this old VHS tape." He cocks his head and taps his finger on the table. "V. H. S. tape. I didn't even know we /had/ a VCR player in the house. Up in the attic, but yeah, all the time!" He takes a sip from the glass of water that was deposited in front of him before their drinks arrive.

"Do you ever get so distracted that sometimes you'll do something over just to make sure you did it? Like, yesterday I went out in a hurry and forgot if I'd locked the door... so I went back and locked it. Except I was thinking about something else I couldn't remember if I'd actually done it, so I had to go back a third time and tell myself 'You are locking this, pay attention!'" A beat. "Or is that just a me thing?"

Tommy Shepherd has posed:
    "You can find a lot of those cartoons on YouTube, y'know," Tommy says. "I binge-watch stuff at 4x speed when I'm bored, and a bunch of the old stuff is up there because the corporate overlords don't care about those copyrights 'cuz they don't make money any more." He shakes his head. "We were rocking VHS tapes waaaay into the late 2000s. I don't think we even had a DVD player until I was, like... I dunno, at least 10?"

    He rocks up on the back legs of his chair, his own legs kicking lightly to maintain balance. "Psh, no, I totally remember everything that I do," he says as he swipes through his phone, just before he sets it down on the table and spins it across, over to Billy.

    Unlocked, and open to a Notes app that has several sequential date-and-time notes with things like 'you locked the door' and 'you turned off the hot plate' and also apparently Tommy either has a pet or, maybe more likely, is taking care of someone else's pet because there's a lot of 'fed Mr. Marbles' on there too.

    His chair drops back onto the ground with a light thump and Tommy crosses his arms on top of the table. "Guess we're twins after all. Hard to tell given how I'm so much better looking than you are." He's teasing, promise!

Billy Kaplan has posed:
"-why didn't I think of that?" Billy muses to himself, looking at the notes. He has a smartphone, right? Arguably it's not much help if he isn't smart enough to use it.

He looks up at his twin with a 'Wait A Minnit' expression, one eyebrow riding high while an accusatory index is pointed towards him. "I see how it is. So you got the looks and I got the brains, and I'm the one constantly getting you out of trouble?"

He crosses his arms in a perfect imitation of his brother's affect, "Except I was the one who almost Ctrl-Alt-Deleted reality with my candle, which is proof that you're identifying as the wrong brother. Clearly, I am the good looking and reckless one..."

He eyes Tommy, and he pauses mid-thought. "We're /both/ sort of reckless, though. Does this mean there may be..." he leans forward, "A third brother we haven't met. And we haven't met him because he is level-headed enough to stay away?"

Tommy Shepherd has posed:
    Tommy taps his temple, face schooled into a look of wise agreement, because when in his life has he ever had the chance to play up being the smart one? Like, never. And then Billy's pointing at him, so his expression morphs into one of confusion.

    "Yeah, man, there's no way you're more reckless than me. I mean, which out of the two of us has been arrested?" He points both thumbs at himself. "This guy right here. You're too goody-two-shoes for that."

    When Billy begins to move forward, Tommy mirrors the movement, his head bowing in conspiratorial consideration. "Bet he has green hair like Queen Lorna," he says. "I mean it makes sense, right? Magneto's got three kids -- uhh, as far as we know -- and I'm clearly the Quicksilver expy. You're definitely the one that's supposed to double for the Scarlet Witch, so that just leaves Polaris. Our missing triplet is the level-headed, regal one with sick magnetism powers."

    Very self-satisfied with this stellar deduction that has absolutely no basis in reality, Tommy leans back, arms crossed over his chest. "Case closed. Crap, I totally forgot to order some baklava!"

Billy Kaplan has posed:
"H-hey, I am not the goody two shoes!" Billy protests, "I- I do lots of things my parents don't know about. Like-" Reach, Billy, reach. "I put on a costume and go out and get into fights and-" and this is when his voice gets smaller as he realizes what he's about to say, "-go out and protect people from--" he throws up his hands, "Look, I'll think of something!"

"Don't worry, they always bring some pita and hummus before they bring in the dishes, you can order it then! But-"

He is silent for a few seconds, and then he chews on the inside of his cheek for a few seconds.

"Y'know, how you said America acts like she knows us. I mean, she sort of /does/ know some versions of us. Many versions of us, apparently, which is kind of weird. So she knows an 'us', but doesn't know this 'us' as well as she knows them, and I think I just killed grammar a little there. But... lemme circle this plane in."

He leans back on his chair, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

"So... if this version of us is like some of the other versions of us... we're kind of the kids of... 'A' Scarlett Witch. And..."

He glances around, and then back to Tommy. "The Vision. Which- I am not really- I don't know /how/ but- and it's likely not the ones we know. So... you know. Other dimension's versions, maybe? Which... yeah. And Queen Lorna seems to think it tracks... so..."

He suddenly makes a wide gesture with his hands, to try to encompass the sheer ridiculousness of it all. "We're weird. Like. Officially."

Tommy Shepherd has posed:
    Tommy's hands fold under his chin, and the narrow of his eyes goes a little cat-like. "Mmhmm, you go out and get into fights to do?" He nods his head encouragingly. "Riiiiight. Uh huh. My point stands."

    Still, the news of incoming pita and hummus brings a certain light to his eyes, and Tommy turns to start scanning the restaurant for potential incoming snackage.

    "Wait." Record scratch. Tommy's head sloooowly swivels back towards Billy. "What?"

    In hindsight, it's not totally preposterous, right? They had crossed Pietro and Lorna off the list, but Wanda was still an unknown... except, "No, but, I've met her."

    Which is probably news to Billy. "At the Avengers Mansion. You remember when I was texting you about going with Pietro and his fiance? The Scarlet Witch was there. But she didn't, like... react to my presence at all." His shoulders hike up again, discomfort clearly on display. "Which maybe in and of itself is kind of weird right because I'm like a clone of her twin brother and you think that wouldhavewarrantedsomesortofcommentbutshe--."

    Pause. Inhale. Exhale. Tommy withdraws into himself, hands gripped together in his lap so tightly that his knuckles have blanched white. Several more deep breaths occur, though from Billy's perspective Tommy probably looks like he's hyperventilating. "None of this makes any sense," he finally says, voice empty.

Billy Kaplan has posed:
Billy doesn't really have a lot of experience with speedsters. It does, indeed, look like Tommy is hyperventilating, so he does his best to speak at a steady and measured pace. "I know what you mean. America and Queen Lorna did point it out's probably not /our/ Scarlet Witch but... you know. One-" he waves a hand in a random direction, "-out in the multiverse. And somehow we ended up in this one. For reasons."

He takes a slow breath. "As to how... well. Maybe... magic?" he shrugs, "I have been meaning to ask Raven about it- she, uh, is kind of offering to mentor me. I figured she would know..."

He glances at Tommy with worry in his eyes. "... but... maybe that part isn't /that/ important. I mean, we're here. Maybe that's what counts and the rest are just- details?'

Tommy Shepherd has posed:
    No, it's fine, Tommy is tooootally fine. He can handle concepts like magic and the multiverse. And by handle, in this instance what Tommy really means is to pretend these sorts of things don't exist and-or have no impact on his life.

    Which is kind of hard when you have a magic brother who is telling you they you're both the product of some multiversal shenanigans.

    To his credit, though, Tommy doesn't take his panic out on Billy. He just sits there looking queasy, hands still in his lap, shoulders nearly shrugged up to his ears. "Right, right," he says. "I mean, what are the chances we're actually going to get answers for any of this? Especially not when any attempt at asking them threatens to rip the fabric of reality apart at the seams or whatever..."

    He folds his arms on the table again, but this time it's so Tommy can use them as a pillow, his face hidden in the dark. "Maybewejustdon'tlookagiftbrotherinthehorse."

    The furrow of his brows is, of course, not seen because of his current position, but the confusion is evident enough in his voice as he says, "Wait, that's wrong."

Billy Kaplan has posed:
Billy awkwardly reaches over to pat Tommy on shoulder, and stops an inch away from it. Knowing how strung he was at the moment, it was better to precede it with a verbal warning. "It's ok, you couldn't anyways because I don't have any horses. They actually kinda freak me out."

Being saddled as an older brother for so long teaches you how to do tricks. Tricks such as learning to distract a brother when they're in distress, as would often happen with Thing One whenever Thing Two decided to make him the mark of a particularly bratty prank. He was a wizard now, anyways, so tricks were going to be his bread and butter anyways. "True story- like, when I was eight mom took me to a birthday party at some hoity-toity country club 'cause the son the department chair was turning nine or something. I can barely remember. This was back when she was teaching at the college before she had her private practice- and, and, there were /horses/." He shudders.

"Mom assumed I'd be stoked. You could ride horses. With supervision. What little boy wouldn't dream of riding horses?" He points to himself. "THIS guy. But I didn't want to disappoint my mom, who thought this would be the best thing ever for me. So I go along. And when my turn came, they hoist me on- on top of this /monster/ made of muscle and malevolence. Like, I could swear the beastly little thing's eyes were full of murder for me. And next thing you know, /somehow/, the horse gets loose from the handler and I'm off-"

He mimics himself holding on to the horse's neck, "Like, this little shit starts /galloping/ like nothing and just takes off and I am here holding on to its neck because I'm starting to bounce out of the saddle and I am squealing and wailing like an ambulance and everybody's panicking and someone starts chasing us on horseback which only makes the horse freak out more-"

Breath, "And THEN it decides to jump a fence. I can see the little asshole just- just going for it, and I go 'Oh no' because that's just /countryside/ beyond it and I'm as good as dead if it keeps galloping. So just as it rears up to go and leaps- I leap off that saddle and-"

Silence. He grabs one of the pitas that get deposited in front of him by Irma and dips it in hummus. "Oh, Irma, my brother wants some baklava, too, please!"

A beat. He lets the silence build up as he takes a bite out of the pita, and then proceeds.

"Long story short- too late - I get twanged into the tree that's right by the fence, flew through some of the thin branches- and land on the floor. But I didn't break anything 'cause I landed on something /soft/."

Munch.

"I landed on the /manure pile/." Munch. And then he points the bread at Tommy, "And /that's/ why you can't look at me in the horse, because those little murderers still scare the living crap out of me!"

He grins and leans back on his chair. "So... wanna come over for Thanksgiving?"

Tommy Shepherd has posed:
    It takes a little while for Tommy to lift his head. He's stopped spiraling at least, but it's not until little Billy Kaplan in this story is actually in the saddle and the beast beneath him is unleashed that Tommy sits up. He's frowning, but it's a distant sort of look, because apparently he's very concerned for the Billy of years past and what terrible fate may befall him.

    Though of course given that Billy is sitting across from him, whole and as far as he can tell perfectly alive, it's probably nothing too dire.

    Still, he's leaning forward a little as the drama builds, and it speaks to how closely he's listening that he doesn't even go for the pita when it's sat down. Not immediately, at least. Billy actually gets to grab the first one and dip it before Tommy even registers there's food in his vicinity, and when he does go for his first dip it's slow, distracted.

    "Please," he repeats after Billy says it, because baklava is important enough to warrant it.

    Back to the story, though. He sucks in a big lungful of air as Billy describes flying off the saddle and towards the trees, only for it to catch as the landing is described. Pause. Blink. And then Tommy leans back, wheezing, doing that thing where you laugh so hard no sound can get out. There are certifiable tears in his eyes.

    "More like scare you into living crap," he manages to sputter out, some time later. And then, as he wipes his face (and scarfs some pita) he nods. "Yeah, sure. Might as well lean into the weird thing, right?"

Billy Kaplan has posed:
"Awesome! You won't regret it. My mom is /the/ best cook ever!" Billy grins, feeling that warm feeling that can only be described as fraternal accomplishment. Distraction accomplished- new achievement unlocked: Trickster Brother. You have to be careful about that, though, because trickster brothers who have access to realityp-changing magic can be... problematic.

"I'll take care of everything. You just show up with a healthy appetite." That's a pointless thing to say, /when/ does Tommy /not/ have a healthy appetite? "Just a fair warning, though: There might be Trivial Pursuit after dinner. It's a thing. My dad is super into trivia. But we're not allowed to do the Superheroes category because I beat him." He grins.

And then, a few minutes in, the scent of spices and lamb and many other delicacies draws near, with a smiling Irma bringing two healthy-sized platters, ready for consumption. "Alright!" Billy grins and leans back, to give room for the dishes to be placed. "This place is the best. You'll see-" he adds, wondering how many seconds the food will last. If it should even be that long.

Tommy Shepherd has posed:
    A healthy appetite? Tommy flashes a thumbs up at that. It's good that he's only being asked to provide that, because he's terrible at cooking anything other than your bog-standard broke student fair, and somehow he doesn't think any of the many ways brick ramen can be used will impress someone with the cooking chops of Billy's mother.

    The Trivial Pursuit thing is a bit more concerning, though. "I'll do my best but I'm pretty terrible at that kind of thing," he admits, but he still sounds enthusiastic. A real homecooked Thanksgiving dinner is something Tommy can barely even fathom at this point in his life.

    But that's a future meal for Tommy to daydream about. The present is now, and includes spiced lamb and eggplant and feta. And Billy's right: this place really is the best. The food is good enough that Tommy goes slow to savor it.

    His plate's still empty in like 3 minutes, but hey, he totally savored it!