13828/After-Action Aftermath

After-Action Aftermath
Date of Scene:	13 January 2023
Location:	Toni and Carin's Quarters, Triskelion, Westchester County
Synopsis:	Carin has some very raw feelings about her first SHIELD Op and Toni helps her cope. Something beautiful begins to bloom.
Cast of Characters:	Carin Taylor, Toni Ho

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Carin Taylor has posed:
    Carin's first outing with SHIELD had been an... eventful one. The operation was successful, if wildly chaotic, and left the girl with a few minor injuries. She may have an appointment on schedule to take care of the melted kevlar plates in a few places under her skin, but the organic wounds have since healed already. What hasn't healed, however, was the psycological distress of some aspects of the mission.

    Specifically, her quick-think solution to disarming dangerous men with even more dangerous weapons. And so, the young redhead grips the edge of the shared toilet in the room she's sharing with the girl in the sweet power armor, and tries very, very, /very/ hard to forget the sensation of her gauntlet-mounted blades piercing the flesh and bone of mercenary hands. She tries to think of anything else. Dogs. Cats. Fluffy animals. The tasty pizza she had about two hours before. The thoughts of a traditional thanksgiving dinner. A blade carving a turk--oh. Oh no.

    So much for that pizza, as some very, very loud noises can likely heard out in the residential hall if someone were to pass by.

Toni Ho has posed:
Well, it's less passing by and more coming home. The door to the suite hisses open, and Toni walks in, slipping her shoes off immediately. She was making sure the charging of the Iron Patriot was proceeding well, and then she got distracted with some minor lab tasks, and she lost track of time.

Thusly, she returns to a seemingly empty place, and wonders where her new friend had gone off to. Maybe her appointment got moved u--Oh no. She hears the unfortunate noises and creeps towards the closed up bathroom. She hesitates briefly before she raps on the door.

"Carin? It's me. Are you okay? Can I help?"

Carin Taylor has posed:
    The bathroom door is slightly ajar, so it's easy to open it as needed. The knocking might, in fact, push it open further. She's hunched over the bowl, and the timing is, well, perfect. She loses her lunch and has no real words to give Toni. No attempt is made. The redhead is wearing casual clothes, just a loose tank top and some black gymshorts. The hole-filled uniform from the previous encounter is draped across the couch in the common room.

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni can't help but cringe at Carin throwing up. It makes her a touch queasy, but she muscles past it. She hesitates at the threshold before she turns and walks away. Was it too much? Did she just give up and leave?

No. She's back in a moment with a cool bottle of water and a towel. She slips into the bathroom (which is big enough, but not, you know, enormous) and kneels down, holding the towel and bottled water, waiting patiently. Her expression is that of srene concern. Incredibly sympathetic and understanding. She'll be here when Carin's ready.

Carin Taylor has posed:
        "Oh Goddddd...." Carin coughs, eyes clenched shut, tears streaming down her face. She might be done retching but she doesn't feel /good/ with the whole situation. Nor the situation that caused this in the first place. But she hears Toni behind her and coughs and spits, claring the taste out of her mouth the best she can, and fumbles, at lightning speed, to pull the flush.

    "...T-Toni..y-you're... back... early?" she never had the best grasp on time, and with her body being used to running at super speed, experiencing all of the /sick/ in her perception must've been amplified a hundredfold. She just wanted the moment to end, and stumbles back until she's just sitting on the bathroom floor now. "Toni..." she grunts, cheeks turning a faint pink while her eyes are red and puffy.

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni smiles gently, offering first the towel and then the bottle of water. "Everything's on track in the lab, so I got away early." She tilts her head slightly. "Are you coming down with something? Food poisoning?"

She says those things, then looks closer, taking in the puffy and redness in her eyes. She's been crying. "W-what happened?" How she's still clueless, it's hard to say.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    The towel is taken and Carin wipes her face and her mouth and dries her eyes. A loud, guttural "Urrgggghhhh...." escapes her and she opens the water bottle. There's a few sips, a swishy-swashy, and she spits it out into the bowl before taking another drink. Longer, this time, and swallows. As far as the crying, one simply doesn't just lose their lunch without tears flowing. It's a rule of nature, or something. But there's no lack of some psychological trauma either.

    "Urgh..." she mutters, scooting towards the door some and pushing it closed with her back until she can just lean on it. Not at all an attempt to escape Toni, more to just steady herself. "...t-the... thing.. thing we did..." she makes a vague gesture with her free hand. "...those guys. I had to... had to..." she mumbles and clenches her hand into a fist around the water bottle and makes a half-hearted stabbing motion with it.

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni is, at least, entirely non-judgemental. Being so young in college, she helped many a girl deal with Drunk Shit in the dorm. This is less bad, because Carin isn't being belligerent about it. Still a little gross, but what can you do?

The truth comes out, and her face falls. Oh. That. Toni has built her entire career out of ways to stop the bad guys without using lethal force. She knows how she would feel if she had to do something like thay. "Oh, sweetie," she says. "I'm so sorry." She takes a second to choose her words. She scoots a little closer to Carin, scootching across the tile. She reaches out to gently touch the other girl's cheek. "I'm glad you're alive and still here with me and compassionate enough to cry over someone who was trying to kill you."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Now that there's nothing left to throw up, and her body is processing the rush of chemicals at a rapid rate, she's coming down from the sick. But her emotional state is still fractured. She whimpers when Toni gets close and touches her, but her arms come up and she presses both hands over the one on her cheek. A cheek that's still moist with tears and feeling very, very warm.

    "I... it's... I didn't... this is.. what they wanted to make me... a k-killer. A mindless SHOC trooper. I don't like fighting... b-but.." she whimpers. "...I couldn't break the guns... a-and... they would've hurt you... and Zinda.. and.. the others. So I. I had to hurt them... m-more than I wanted to... but what choice did I have?" she looks up, an almost pleading expression on her face.

    "...a-and by saying that... does... does it.. make it a slippery-slope to... to justify more hurting? Killing even? Z-Zinda shot them but that's /her/ way. Not mine..."

Toni Ho has posed:
This whole thing is not really Toni's area of expertise. She can do Calculus in her sleep, design high tech equipment on no sleep and too much Red Bull, but emotional stuff? She's just not good at it. Still, she's quiet, listening to what her new friend has to say, trying not to think about how warm Carin's face is.

She takes a breath and tries logic. "That might be what they wanted, but clearly they failed. If you were a mindless killer, you wouldn't be feeling this way, right?" She brings her other hand up to the other side of Carin's face, cradling it in her hands and looking her in the eye. Her gaze is warm and compassionate, but the cold flicker of logic burns below the surface.

"At that point, your choices were three, as I see it. Do nothing and get hurt or killed, run away, or do what you did. Don't get me wrong, I'm mostly a pacifist. There's a reason I won't make weapons that are only lethal. I also understand that, in this line of work, sometimes people get hurt. I just try to make sure that if I have to do the hurting, it's of the right people. I think this counts. He was trying to kill you, and the rest of us. You saved us. Thank you, Carin."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Carin's face is /very/ warm. Not just from the crying and physical exertion, but just. In general. And while her skin is literally white, it's not cold or clammy or feels wierd. It's warm. Smooth. Soft. Much like most of Carin, it would seem. She nods, slowly, understanding the words Toni is speaking to her. Processing them at lightning speed.

    Then she leans a little into the other hand too. The grasp to her face. The brightness of her green eyes. That damnable lightning bolt on her right cheek. But she's not some mindless killer cyborg. She /is/ Carin. And she did her best with the hand she was dealt. "I'm.. hoping to.. get some weapons that aren't so... stabby.." she mumbles softly, giving a half-smile to Toni.

    Then she nods, eyes falling shut. "I did my best. And. And all of you here. You.. you all um. Understand me. And. I want to help. So much..."

Toni Ho has posed:
The pink haired woman makes herself focus on the task at hand. Even still, her stomach flutters, but she ignores it. "Luckily, your new bestie is an expert at that stuff. I've got some ideas you'll like. And really, half the time we're dealing with maniacs with superpowers, so you can go a little harder, then."

She smiles brightly, apparently having succeeded in giving some comfort. It might not be much, but she's proud of herself for it anyway. "You did -great-, and I was so scared when you fell over. I almost went overkill on that guy because of it." She shakes her head a bit. "You will help, Carin. You'll be a great agent in no time." She smirks a little. "Maybe even an Avenger."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Carin closes her eyes, "...Ted was supposed to be working on something for me, too. Gloves that were less.. murdery..." she manages to laugh quietly. She can't help but lean into the warm touch of her roomie. Perhaps, even, her friend. Then her cheeks warm even more, the talk of being worried when she'd fallen. "O-oh... I.. um. It was. The gas..." she mumbles. "..it.. worked real quick... I can filter it out faster but... it still.. stuff like that does things.."

    She sighs, "..the wounds.. aren't so bad?" she asks, giving a lopsided smile. Her eyes open and she focuses the bright greens on Toni. Then slowly, her head shakes, which adds more soft, warm friction to the other woman's palms. "I don't.. want to be an Avenger. I just want to help out. Do good things. And, maybe... no longer have to be afraid of Cyberdata stealing me back."

Toni Ho has posed:
When Carin says it was the gas, Toni flushes red. "Oh, uh, my bad." She laughs ruefully, shaking her head. "I made myself mad, I guess." When Carin shakes her head, Toni seems to notice that she's still holding her face in her hands and blushes brighter. Awkwardly, she pulls her hands back and folds them in her lap, looking very awkward and, for some reason, nervous. What a weirdo.

"Well, you can certainly help. You already have. You did great out there. We were a pretty good team. As for Cyberdata, I fucking -dare them- to come after you. They even lift their heads to think about it, we'll be on them so fast and they won't -exist- anymore. You're with S.H.I.E.L.D. now. They can't touch you without losing everything."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    "A-ah, I mean... if... the guy hadn't.. shot me.. the gas wouldn't have.." she mumbles. Though, the gas also obscured the guy coming out? Not that she was fast enough to dodge lightspeed blasts from an automatic laser weapon like that. But then her eyes go wide as those hands pull away from her face and before she knows it, her own hands are a blur and her fingers are curled around Toni's wrists. It's her turn to look awkward now. But. She doesn't let go?

    "I hope so... they have been hunting me for a long time... and... so has AIM. I'm just.. an asset to them... or worse..." she bites her lower lip.

Toni Ho has posed:
When Carin grabs her wrists, Toni's face and neck nearly match the bubblegum shade of her hair. Her stomach does little flips and ... 'Shit. I just got a crush, didn't I,' she thinks to herself. She meets the other girl's gaze and chews on her lip a bit. 'I've crushed on worse, I think.'

"I'll rip them down myself if I have to. and we're old hat at dealing with AIM." She smiles again, still flushed. "-I- won't let them have you. You heard Nat. You're my charge. ... And my...friend?"

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Maybe it takes a moment to register, even if she has a small eternity for it. She can parse tactical data in an instant. She can dodge between raindrops in a thunderstorm. Bullets are curiosities to be plucked from the air like falling snowflakes. But this moment? She can't quite figure it out. Toni's skin under hers, the heat of the palms on her face still lingering despite no longer being there. The sight of the pink rising in the other girl's cheeks.

    It's all so much. It's all too much. She releases those wrists, suddenly conscious of what she's done. What she's doing. And yet, the other girl raises the stakes and makes her heart skip a beat. And then another. Such firm conviction. And the F word.

    Carin can't help it. Her arm are coming up in an instant and she's pulling Toni into a tight hug, burying her face in the other woman's shoulder and soaking her shirt with hot tears all over again. "...friend..."