13847/Tears in Rain

Tears in Rain
Date of Scene:	15 January 2023
Location:	Toni and Carin's Quarters, Triskelion, Westchester County
Synopsis:	Carin sings a sad song in the shower late at night, Toni comes to console her. Feelings occur!
Cast of Characters:	Carin Taylor, Toni Ho

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Carin Taylor has posed:
    It hadn't been long after Carin had been rescued by the Outsiders of Gotham. Even less time after a certain Iron Patriot had flown her back to the Triskelion, both as asset recovery and something more. The night after all of it had been said and done. A welcome back. Maybe a 'welcome home' even though it hadn't been for very long yet.

    The speedy redhead did not want to sleep in her own bed. Maybe as a spoon in one size variation or another, or just to not feel so cold and alone after the week she's had. The ups. And the downs. So there she lay, curled up, in Toni's bed. Sleeping. Resting. Dreaming? But warm and safe for now. Again.

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni is not the greatest at sharing a bed. She starts off okay, engaging in the appropriate space sharing and cuddling positions. She even remains there and can fall asleep that way.

After she's out, though, she's a sprawler.

It's likely, through the course of the night, that Carin has to shove limbs away, make her roll over and just stay where she's supposed to. It's probably really annoying.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Over the course of the night... Carin doesn't mind. She slides one of the sprawled arms under her head and rests her cheek against it, tangles her fingers with Toni's. And of course, she makes sure the blankets are covering them both. But it's something later that disturbs her. She sits up on the edge of the bed and presses her face into her hands, eyes closed as she takes slow, measured breaths. She's doing her best to not wake up her companion, either.

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni is a fairly heavy sleeper. A learned trait from college. Even if it was CalTech and not a party school. College kids are always up all night for one reason or another, so you jave to learn to sleep through anything.

There's the occasional wordless murmur, but Carin doesn't seem to have to worry about waking Toni up. She could probably bang pots together and the good doctor probably wouldn't flinch.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Looking back, Carin does notice her housemate. Roommate. Bedmate. Girlfriend...? ...isn't stirring from her sitting up. Taking another long, slow breath, she finally stands up. Carin herself isn't wrapped in too much. Just a loose tank top in faded pink with a strap hanging on one shouler and a pair of basic cotton panties that seem to be just a little loose, making them slouch some on one hip. Probably borrowed, or second-hand. She'll get her wardrobe sorted soon. A moment is taken to stretch and she slowly meanders towards the bedroom door leading to their little common living space.

Toni Ho has posed:
The pink-haired engineer doesn't stir when Carin gets up. She just rolls over, snoring in a way that could be described as cute. Like when a kitten snores. Though Toni is way more like a puppy.

Carin has to be gone for a few minutes before Toni begins to stir. Not because of the absence itself, or the weight shifting on the bed. No, it's far more basic. Carin runs hot, which means it's warm enough in the bed when she's there. When she leaves, well. Toni starts to get cold.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Carin does end up being gone for a few minutes. She retreats to her room for a few, getting some spare clothes from her bag. Stuff she'd gotten from SHIELD. The thrift store. Ted. Gabby. A mismatch of attire. By the time she's sorted her outfit, those minutes have indeed passed. The warmth is gone. So is the warm pressure. The different scent. All of it. The redhead might be glimpsed through the open door, shuffling through the common room. She tosses her top on the floor and moments later, out of view, the underwear thumps softly on top of it as she heads for the shower.

Toni Ho has posed:
The warmth is gone. The presence, too. Toni curls in on herself, mumbling about ice cream and skis. She starts to toss and turn, trying to find any remnants of that warmth, like a lizard on a heat rock, but there's nothing.

She groans as consciousness starts to come to her. Slowly and groggily, she starts to wake up.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    The muffled click of a light switch can be heard. The droning of the ventilation fan in the bathroom. And then, after a few moments, the sound of water running. Whatever had really dragged Carin out of the bed, it seems to have ended up being more her need, or desire, to take a shower at... whatever hellish hour it happened to be.

Toni Ho has posed:
The minutes roll by and Toni, finally, comes awake. "Mmph," is the first thing from her mouth when she opens her eyes. The second is a mighty yawn, complete with stretch. She, like her currently absent cuddle buddy, was sleeping in an oversized S.H.I.E.L.D. t-shirt and underwear, like any self respecting young lady with free t-shirts from work.

She sits up, grabbing her glasses and checking the time. That makes her flinch. She takes a look around, finally consciously realizing that Carin is missing. Huh. She climbs out of bed, grabbing the tepid, half full bottle of water on the nightstand and draining it before she moves into the common area.

"Carin?" she says quietly before she notices the shower running. She frowns thoughtfully before she starts heading that direction.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Aside from the discarded clothes in the middle of the floor, the other clear sign of Carin's presence is, indeed, the sound of the shower running. The light in the bathroom is set lower than full bright, but the fan is still going to make sure the whole place doesn't get steamed up. With the water starting to warm up further though, she can be heard taking a long, deep breath, and then she begins to hum. Her silhouette through the curtain is standing, certainly, her curves in profile. But her arms are hanging at her side, and her head is hanging some.

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni sees the clothes on the floor and tilts her head a little. She understands the desire for a shower in the middle of the night. Sometimes you feel gross physically. Other times you feel gross mentally. She frowns, scrubbing a hand through her sleep disheveled hair.

The humming hits her ears, and she creeps closer, walking as quietly as she can so she doesn't spook Carin. She can see her outline through the curtain, and the body language just makes her heart break.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    It might be remarkable seeing Carin like this. A speedster, but so still. Unmoving. What might not be perceptible are the girl's micro-tremors as she hums. She's shivering. But the steam rising up from the water pooling at her feet is clearly beyond simply warm. Slowly, she raises both hands. One reaches forward, palm pressed to the shower tile. The other is upturned and it looks like she's staring at it. The soft humming turns into quiet singing, low and melancholy. She still thinks Toni is asleep.

    "Take me down to the river bend... Take me down to the fighting end... Wash the poison from off my skin... Show me how to be whole again..." there's a soft quiver to her voice and her other hand presses forward to the shower's inner wall now. Her head thumps softly against it, too, and she continues to sing quietly. "Fly me up on a silver wing... Past the black where the sirens sing... Warm me up in a nova's glow... And drop me down to the dream below..."

    Where the song would perhaps, if sung traditionally, would pick up and get harder and more aggressive. For Carin, it gets softer, more mournful, and her voice hitches as it's choked with a sob. "'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass... Hardly anything there for you to see... For you to see..."

Toni Ho has posed:
The words do not make it better. They, in fact, make Toni's eyes sting with tears. This poor woman. So much struggle and pain and strife. Toni used to think her life was hard, then she realized how...mundane her problems were. Queer, raised by a single mother, her dad killed saving Tony Stark from a cave. ... Alright, that last one is a little weird.

She hesitates for a long moment, trying to decide what to do. She doesn't want to scare Carin, or make her uncomfortable. She wrings her hands, trying to decide. She draws a deep, slow breath, and starts to toss her clothes on the pile Carin started. Steeling her nerves, she walks right into the bathroom and slips into the shower behind her. She hesitates and then just hugs her from behind, heedless of how hot the water is and how bashful she's feeling.

"...Hi."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    The redhead /has/ been through a lot. And maybe thanks to some of that incomplete memory conditioning, she'd been spared at least some of the recollection of it. Which. Doesn't exactly make anything better. Toni's indecision allows the girl to carry through the song a little further, fingernails scraping at the tile some. She's at the center of a whirlwind of emotions and is trying her best to /find/ that center and let the storm finish flowing around her. "Bring me home in a blinding dream... Through the secrets that I have seen... Wash the sorrow from off my skin... Show me how to be whole again..."

    There's a moment where her breath hitches and she can't summon the words to the chorus. It's enough time for Toni to slip in behind her and press into her. The warmth is shared, the contact soft. The water? Hot, but not painfully so. It's enough to put a little bit of color in that stark whiteness that is Carin's skin. And with her state of being bare in the shower, it's her entire form that's porcelain white.

    She doesn't jump or jerk away when she feels Toni or hears her voice, and she has her full awareness to feel that momentary brush turn into a full hug. Centimeter after centimeter of another person pushing flush into her back. Carin's hair sticks to her face, her shoulders, and the water falling from her as she has her head down isn't coming from the shower. Another small sob wracks her form, but her only response to Toni's quiet greeting is "S-sorry..."

Toni Ho has posed:
Tears sting Toni's eyes as Carin finishes that bit of the song, the little sob wrenching her heart in her chest. She's so afflicted that she doesn't even feel bashful about this. She just does her best to be there. To let Carin use her strength.

"Nothing to apologise for. i'm the one who decided to get out of bed instead of just pulling a blanket up." She pauses, chewing her lip as she tries to find words. "I'm ... here for you, you know that, right?"

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Carin doesn't pull away from Toni, but she does slowly straighten up. She lifts her head, pushing her hands against the wall of the shower some. "...thought.. I woke you up.." she mumbles, then breathes out. "I.. I know. I just... I.. it's been... a long week... it's.. every couple of days something new happens. The new year has been so... so mixed..." she whimpers and presses back into Toni firmly.

Toni Ho has posed:
It has been quite a year already, and it's only two weeks old. Things have happened for both of them, but Carin definitely has gotten the worst end of that stick. She feels for her. So much bad stuff, but on the other hand, she's here now.

"It's fine. I'm not mad. I was just ... worried. It's been hard on you. You haven't had any downtime."

When Carin presses back, Toni just lays her head on her shoulder.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Two weeks. Two weeks in and she's been involved in so much. A good portion of it completely out of her control. Joining up with SHIELD and running an op with them was pretty much her choice, after all. Everything else? Not so much. "...I.. know.. I haven't. Everything's... moving so fast..." she laughs at the weird irony of that. "...they're stepping up trying to get me.. take me back.. and if.. the others hadn't intervened... you... you wouldn't have known... I might've.... not.."

    She hugs the arms around her tighter. Any thoughts about their current state of dress or actual location are far from her current thoughts. All that matters is this moment. "...not seen you again.."

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni barely knows anything about the Outsiders, but she is so thankful to them right now. Whatever this is, it hasn't had a chance to bloom and develop. Feelings are there, but it's delicate. Fragile. If the Outsiders didn't help Carin, didn't get her away from those fiends, Toni would have just assumed she left.

She would have cried herself to sleep a few times, but she wouldn't have -known-. Now she does know, and her own shoulders shake as she tries and fails to stifle her tears.

"Not ... Not allowed. Don't run from me. Don't get taken from me."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    She can feel it. She might have bulletproof skin and a body that won't quite. But she can feel the added warmth and wetness from the tears Toni's unable to hold back. Carin's arms hug around those embracing her a little tighter. She tries to find--and capture--her companions hands in her own, to lace their fingers together. "It's scary..." she murmurs. "..I don't.. want to lose you.. Or scare you. Or hurt you."

    She shakes her head slowly, her wet hair sticking to her cheeks. "..I've never had.. anyone like you.. in my life.. People were.. always so mean. And.. then my sister.." she whimpers. Her head shakes a little faster, for a moment, shaking off the feelings. "Please let me stay."

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni draws a shaky breath, smiling slightly as she feels her fingers entwine with Carin's. She squeezes her hands a little. Attempting to be reassuring. "It is scary out there. There's a lot of bad people with power who want to use it on everyone. We signed up to stop it. It's dangerous and scary, but I don't think I'd change anything."

Her stomach twists again in sympathy and sorrow and something else. She didn't deserve all that tragedy. No one really does, but, it all seems so -senseless-. "The only place you're going is back to bed with me when we get out of this shower."

She can't help but try to put a little levity into things. If only so she doesn't start crying for real.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    She relishes the contact. Just the closeness, nothing in between but tears and shower water. "...y-yeah.. that's.. exactly why.. I joined. So I could... use my abilites to help. Instead of... hurting. Or. Instead of hiding away..." She gives those hands a firm squeeze then starts to wiggle a bit. She lets go of Toni's hands and tries to turn around, so she can face her pink-haired friend. The knight in shining powersuit to her speedy princess.

    "I'd like that.." she says when she can finally look Toni in the eye, resting forehead to forehead. "...even if you sprawl out wildly..." she adds, trying to add some levity, too. She's already been crying, though, and there's no hiding the signs on her face.

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni wouldn't call herself a knight, not really. She's more like an artificer. She's also a giant dork, so she keeps it to herself. She smiles a little as her hands are squeezed back, and she lets up on the firmness of the embrace so that Carin can move.

Now, here facing each other in the dim light of the shower, the butterflies are back. She swallows, looking into Carin's red-rimmed eyes. Her own are a little red. A little puffy, but she's been at it for less time. She barely breathes when the other girl says she'd like that. The tension is thick, until it's cut with a joke. She almost takes the bait, but instead she just smiles gently. "Yeah. I do." She takes another nervous breath. "I ... I like you, Carin. ... In ... that way."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Carin has a lot of fear to work through. A lot of pain. But she's been getting there. Little by little. Even with the setbacks of recent events, something's given her a big boost to her confidence. Or. Maybe some/one/. Sure she's got support, people she can talk to and go to. But this? Toni? It's. Special. And she can't find the words. She has her own butterflies. She remembers what those hands felt like on her cheeks. But now there's so much more. Gently pressed together but not even so much paying attention to their surroundings or lack of attire.

    Eyes stay locked, there's no hiding in such close quartes. Her forehead stays where it is, noses brushing just a little when there's that nervous confession. One that spurs her forward, brings words to her mind and then to her lips. "I... I like you too... ah.. um... a lot. A lot lot, Toni."

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni would blush even harder if she could. This confession thing is nerve-wracking and it makes her feel super bashful, but she's already flushed from the heat and steam of the shower. On the bright side, she seems to have forgotten that they are, in fact, not wearing clothes at the moment. It's good she's forgotten, or she'd probably be reduced to babbling.

Instead, she lives in the moment. This sweet, gentle moment where hearts are laid bare, at least a little bit. "I-erm. I'm glad," she says, biting her lip nervously for a second. "C-can I...," she starts to ask before she simply decides to act. Her head slips just so, and she leans forward, planting a delicate and nervous kiss on Carin's lips. She pulls back almost immediately, nervous and shaky, but smiling.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Maybe it's because of where she is, or who she's with, but her tactical sense doesn't throw up any red flags. Her situational awareness might, somewhere, remind her that she's naked. But. Toni is, too. And this whole situation doesn't feel wrong. In fact, it feels right. Something in her heart knows she wants this. Needs this. Not just selfishly, either, as a simple balm for her fractured everything. But because she does, truly, like Toni. Love, perhaps, even, but the fear is still keeping her from saying it. From making the final push.

    At the same time, Toni is making a little push of her own, and when the question starts, she blinks, bright green eyes open. Bright green eyes that widen as much as they possibly can when lips connect and she stares at Toni, mouth hanging open some. Her lips move as if she's trying to say something, parting and sealing, before a different kind of warning flashes in her mind. Fear is overridden, arenaline spikes, and one of her hands finds itself gently cradling the back of Toni's head within her fingers.

    That scant amount of empty space beween their lips is retaken, making that connection. It lasts a little longer than Toni's, only measured in seconds. For Carin and her dilated sense of time, though, it's a sensation she clings to. The contact. The warmth. But even then, it's over too soon.

Toni Ho has posed:
Two kisses for the price of one. This is fine. Everything is fine. Her eyes close slightly when Carin brings her back for another, holding her breath until it breaks. She can feel the hair on the back of her neck trying to stand up. It feels like electricity is arcing between the fingers on her head, their lips and everything in between.

Even to her, it feels like it lasts an hour. Just reveling in the feel of lips on hers. When they part, she makes a little disappointed sound in her throat before she speaks again.

"W-wow..."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    The best kind of eternity. The warm, comfortable, safe-feeling kind. The kiss does have to break, though, and Carin takes a long, slow breath afterwards. For all the rushing around she does, this is absolutely not one of the things she wishes to rush. She blinks several times, focusing on Toni, giving a tiny nod at the exhale of the other woman's voice. "A-are.. s-so.." she stammers. "...we're... together? Right?" she asks, sounding ever so hopeful. "...because.. I don't.. want to lose this. Or you..." she nearly whimpers, both arms hugging tight around Toni, squishing the two of them together.

Toni Ho has posed:
It is the best kind of forever. Whatever is outside of this room does not matter. Honestly, whatever is not -them- does not matter in this moment. HYDRA, Cyberdata. Sentinels and weapons dealers. Not even SHIELD. All that matters right now are Toni and Carin, discovering these feelings and the joy, vulnerability and hope they bring.

"I...Yes. I think we are."

Even with all this, it's exactly at this moment, when Carin squishes them both together in a fierce embrace that reality catches up with her, and she almost seems to glow pink. She doesn't say anything, though. She doesn't want to ruin it.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Of course reality catches up. No matter how fast Carin can run or sense or think, it catches up. That tight squeeze reminds her of their nudity, and she tries to put on a brave face, too. She'd been crying in the shower, and her roommate came to her rescue again. Her friend. Her girlfriend. "I.. we..." she finally breaks the silence, laying her head on Toni's shoulder and not wanting the hug to end. "...should... not... let the hot water.. run out.. and.. um.. dry off.. and.. you have.. really soft blankets."

Toni Ho has posed:
The adrenaline and tension of this whole event is bleeding away, leaving only the contact and the warmth and the steam. Almost in tandem, as Carin rests her head on Toni's shoulder, Toni rests her's on Carin's. The fleeting bashful feelings at their shared nudity is gone. Banished for the moment.

"...You're probably right, and I really do. Not that I need them with you in there, you're just so warm."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Reluctantly, Carin releases her companion with one of her arms and reaches back to try and turn off the water. It takes a little fumbling but she manages to shut it off without either cranking it up or making it go super cold and really ruin the moment. "..let's... dry off.. and.. go back to bed? It's.. super late.. still.. feel bad for waking you up. I just, had nightmares and... everything caught up to me.." The armi s reaching out of the shower now, trying to find the towel rack.

Toni Ho has posed:
The water turns off, and Toni is sad about it. SHIELD can afford the hot water bill. She was enjoying this, even if her sleep was interrupted. Luckily her commute is ... short. She peers out of the shower as Carin fishes for towels. She considers hopping out to just grab some towels, but, well, it's still nice in here.

"Don't worry about it. I'm here for you, even if it loses me sleep. Even if a lot of things." She pauses, smiling impishly. "You're my girlfriend now."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Carin can be a little dense about some things, especially the whole... figuring out her feelings business. But as she snags a towel and starts to drape it around Toni's back, she can see the little hint of.. sadness. "..we.. we can do this again... sometime?" she offers, glancing up towards the showerhead. "..it is.. nice and warm.." she says, giving a small smile. A smile that broadens as her cheeks turn dark red. Not even the weird underlay and her own light pigmentation can keep the color flooding in as Toni uses the g-word.

    "I am?" she asks, then blinks, hugging Toni in with the towel. "I am! Yes. Please. And. You're mine. Girlfriend... it.. it.. feels nice to say."

Toni Ho has posed:
Not the sad. Anything but the sad. If Toni is lucky, Carin will not learn to manipulate her by making the sad eyes at her. If she learns to do that, Toni is hosed. She;ll do anything, -anything- to put sparks of joy back.

"Of course we can do this again. This is our room, and we don't pay a water bill."

Being hugged is great. Being hugged in a nice fluffy towel when you're dripping wet from the shower is even better. "It does, doesn't it? It just means that we're not alone anymore."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    It's very unlikely that Carin is going to weaponize her own puppy dog eyes to get what she wants out of Toni. She's definitely not the manipulative sort of person. On the downside, that means her sadness is real and she probably needs those hugs and things. "...it just. Felt nice. Maybe... with less me crying... or... throwing up.." she sighs and shakes her head, just hugging Toni and helping her dry off.

    "I don't want to be alone anymore. And. I'm happy I have someone I can.. love and trust."

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni is very lucky, because if Carin aimed the sad eyes at her and asked her to crack the planet in half, she'd try to figure out how to do it. The girl has it bad, but, maybe these two will be good for each other. Promote healing and joy and comfort and love.

"I don't want to be alone, either," she says. "I'm happy too, Carin." She pauses, tilting her head slightly. "Zoomy." She tries the pet name out. Maybe she'll get something thrown at her.

Carin Taylor has posed:
    Carin has a lot of good people around her now. And maybe, in time, she'll come to trust and appreciate more and more of them. But one's a father figure. Others are... still being figured out. But Toni? This sweet, pink-haired pretty is a singularity. Her singularity. The still-naked speedster is focusing her efforts on hugging and drying Toni off before she finally gets herself in a towel and... kindof... does exactly what Toni calls her.

    She does a quick spin to get her hair dry and blinks after her little 'zoom'. "...Zoomy?" she asks, blinking, then giggles and just wraps Toni up in a hug again. A much drier hug. "..come on.. let's... go back to sleep? I'm... really tired.. but. A lot less sad."

Toni Ho has posed:
Toni giggles a little as Carin dries her off. it's an interesting sensation. One she hasn't experienced since she was a small, small child. It echoes with similar feelings of warmth and security, but it's from a different angle. Her heart swells with affection, giggling more as Carin does exactly what she called her!

She hugs Carin back, squeezing for all she's worth (which isn't much, she is not a physically strong woman). "Yeah. Let's get some sleep. I still have a day job."

Carin Taylor has posed:
    The speedster isn't very strong, either. All of her cybernetic enhancements revolved around her speed and efficiency therein. So she's still, like, being hugged by a normal nineteen year old. She puts up her towel and helps Toni out of hers, too, and just. Tugs her back towards the bedroom. Nudity be damned.

    "...I.. I kindof do too! Don't I?" she asks. She's still SHIELD, after all. Surely someone could use her talents. Or Toni can just. Pay her to deliver Red Bull.