14036/Yippie-Kite-Yayyyy Mother Trucker

Yippie-Kite-Yayyyy Mother Trucker
Date of Scene:	05 February 2023
Location:	Sheldon Park - Bleake Island
Synopsis:	Kite Man ends up washed up as Osprey chases and Caleb has to deal with the gravest threat of all - 90's celebrity guest stars!
Cast of Characters:	Mary Jane Watson, Austin Reese, Caleb Dykstra

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Mary Jane Watson has posed:
Sheldon Park doesn't seem nearly as beat down as other parts of the city do. But still, with a location near the abandoned amusement park district of the city, luck only went so far out.
    ON this night, it involved a man in a green suit that was racing along a set of rooftops, a large bag under an arm fresh from a bank robbery. Along his back a set of strange looking stubs.

Austin Reese has posed:
You know, Gotham is known for it's weird shenanigans. Villains ranging from comical to terrifying and everywhere in between. And heroes that fit those same bills. Osprey is one of those 'in between' heroes. He's not as terrifying as Batman. Yet.

But he is still trained by him, and Batman's training has lead to Osprey being perched on a rooftop, watching as the domino lights up with signals from the bank's alarms. He fires his grappling hook and takes off towards the bank, pursuing across the rooftops as he tracks the robber.

It had been a rather peaceful night, too! With only a few muggings to break up. Now he was going to need to chase this guy down and recover that stolen money too. Guy's gotta stop sooner or later..Right?

Caleb Dykstra has posed:
"Is it good?", someone asks in a baritone voice and hispanic accent. "Is it da good stuff, homes?"

"Yeah, it's 'da good stuff'", Caleb replies, producing a pack from a satchel. "Price's two-kay a pack."

"Two-kay a kay-gee??", another hispanic whistles, clearly a woman. "Man, dis de expensive shit. Maybe one-kay, no?"

"Two-kay", Caleb replies unwaveringly, "and yeah, de expensive shit comes clean and ready."

"Man, 's a rip!"

"Two-kay a kay-gee", Caleb repeats, "and I don't go back with the reply you backed down on a pre-arranged deal."

"Okay, okay", the hispanic raises his hands, "We..."

Okay, backing to this random encounter that's about to happen, someone had the bright idea of meeting this time, and get this, on a rooftop because they thought that rooftops weren't so immersed in darkness like say, alleways where you could find your random vigilante lurking in the dark!

...

This idea was, in lack of better word, asinine in Caleb's mind; still, he was such a little fish in the very big ocean, that he just went where he was told to go, no questions or comments asked. But the two dopeheads he had in front of him really had all the signs of sharing just the one braincell, so they were undoubtedly the guys that had that brrilliant idea. A brilliant idea turning out to be not so brilliant, because, winding forward...

Their speech was interrupted, by a guy moving across rooftops with a loaded bag.

Caleb turns, and looks at the running guy. Looks at the two dopeheads. Deadpans.

"Seriously... Stick to the alleys next time, huh guys?"

Mary Jane Watson has posed:
And as Osprey is out on the.. Robin? He comes upon the bright, neon attired super-criminal running away, bag in hand, sirens wailing off in the distance. Over where Caleb was, two additional d*psh*ts would be snarking at one another. Well.. Moreso one would be snarking. One tall and thin with blonde hair and a trenchcoat. The other short and stocky with a goatee and a trenchcoat.

"Hey, you tubby f*ckt*rd" The tall blonde would snark, "This place smokes some $#*##!.." What would follow would be a tirade of obscenities that would be rahter impressive, even by Gotham standards as his shorter, stocky friend would roll his eyes and shrug at Caleb in a 'you see what I have to deal wiht' routine.

Then as Osprey goes to pass along towards the leotard green spun lunatic, he would squawk. "Hah! You'll never keep up with me in my natural element!" He goes to stop over at the edge of the rooftop, running to the very edge and flailing his arms to maintain balance. Posing dramatically, moonlight hitting him.

Austin Reese has posed:
Caleb and his two buddies find themselves in a situation that they probably were not expecting, as the green clad thief runs between them, followed a moment or two later by Osprey, who stops himself short before he runs into the green clad gentleman.

"You know I'm going to need that back. Do you really want to do this the hard way?" He asks, as he takes a few steps forward. He looks like a Gotham vigilante, grey and black armored suit with a yellow bird logo on the chest. Domino mask and a hood, "You three probably want to stick around too, huh? Not really a fan of that stuff being slung around my town, you dig?"

Caleb Dykstra has posed:
Okay, the night's just took a U-turn for the WTF avenue real fast. First, you're exposed on a roof - bad idea.

"Geniuses, you are. Not!", he tells the two dopeheads.

Second, some wierd guy with a bag full of money is now gracefully posing in the moonlight on the edge of the top of the building he's on.

"Okay, who the fuck is this guy?", he finds himself asking.

Third, he looks at Austin/Osprey, guy coming after the first.

"Yeah, well if you buy it, you can then burn it for all I care."

And fourth, the other two guys that showed up out of nowhere! - and may not be there any longer in the next pose.

"And seriously, is this rooftop a declared public space I didn't know about?", he just voices out loud.

Mary Jane Watson has posed:
There's a pff over from the man in the green leotard, "Hah! There is nowhere you can chase me that I cannot esacpe from! For I.." He moves to gesture madly in the air. "AM KITE MAN! AND I FLY THE UNFRIENDLY SKIES!" Then he goes to reach over to his back, where he pulls out something that makes a sound like someone starting a diesel engine.

"YOINKS AND AWAY!" THen Kite Man goes to dive off and over the side of the building.. As his kite-bits fail to deploy.

"I SAID YOINKS AND AWAY!" More desperate pulls, engine misfiring sounds. "YOINKS AND AWAY! I'M GOING TO FLY BECAUSE.."
    The engine stars. "I'M KITE MAN DAMMIT!" And then there is a man rocketing up into the air on a.. Rocket powered kite that is blasting through into the sky.

The thin, blonde dealer looks over at Caleb with a, "That $#*'s a $#*#'king $##*Q! of a #$*#!."

His stodgy companion would look over at him with a 'you kiss your mother with that mouth' before giving him a whack on the back of the head. Tubby was staying there. This meant things beyond ha-ha background cameo name drop.

Austin Reese has posed:
The domino identifies Kite Man once Osprey gets a good look at him, and Osprey just tilts his head a bit, "Didn't we JUST put you back in Arkham a few weeks ago? Did they let you have arts and crafts time again? I swear."

Osprey's thought is derailed when Kite Man takes off into the sky, flying away on a rocket, "You know kites don't have rockets, that's why they're kites!" Osprey yells, as he watches, waiting to see if the kite comes crashing back down. Kite Man doesn't have the best track record.

Osprey's attention to Caleb hasn't gone away yet though, "Even if it were public you think it'd be a good idea to be having this particular type of meet up?" He motions to the duo that's with Caleb, "Shouldn't you guys be harassing people outside of bodega or something?"

Caleb Dykstra has posed:
Caleb watches the scene unfold and 'Kite Man' (seriously, what kind of name - or theme for that matter - is that?) just rockets into the sky (which goes totally agains the theme, see?) in a spectacular blunder. Seriously, this could only get sadder with a 'goofy yell' sound effect.

The two dopeheads with Caleb, once they get Osprey's attention, they just look at one another and start to run towards the rooftop door. They do this with such synchronicity, that they actually manage to collide with the hinges and fall to the ground, before they grovel and scurry off down the stairwell.

Caleb is... Dumbfounded. He blinks. Seriously - who took those two for serious down the communication line?

He looks at the two cameos, and the talking guy. He can't help but sizing him up once - maybe looking for some subtitles that translate all the censored cursing, the way things have taken a turn for, who knows? Finding none - or just having seen if this guy is the real deal -, he says, "I, uh... Sorry, I have no clue what you just said."

He looks at Osprey, "Shouldn't you be going after Projectile Guy? Not that he's got a big bag of money, I think he's gonna come down real soon."

Mary Jane Watson has posed:
This is why Caleb can't have nice things. Definitely, definitely why not. The fat, stodgy of the dealer duo would shrug over at Caleb, then go over to move to casually take up the dropped drug deal deritus.

"It's swearing, smartass." The tubby one would go after a moment.

His taller companion would attempt to give a light shove over at Caleb, "Yeah, you #$#*#!.." this would go on until somehow the censor bars would become fully surreal by having skulls and crossbones and poison symbols over it that would make even the hardened criminal or crazed on drugs Marine drill sergeant take a few steps back.

Kite Man snaps back at Osprey, "Hey! It's on my back. I'm KITE MAN! ERGO IT'S A KITE! I thought Batman made his little twerps at least have to go through some level of schooling! That's just -sad-!" Even as the Kite-Booster Rockets Flare and Kite-Man tried to rocket off.

... No, Kite Rocket Man did not quite roll off teh tongue well. Call Elton John.

Austin Reese has posed:
Osprey was waiting for Kite Man to turn around, because as he does and tries to jet off, he fires a line launcher at the pack, and uses the back end to anchor into the roof. Assuming he HITS well, that rocket probably can't pull the entire building with it.

Hopefully Kite Man's harness isn't made of cheap materials.

Caleb Dykstra has posed:
Well, for all the moment of craziness, it gets real when Caleb sees the bag he had with him being targeted by one of the duo. "Yes, well stop me if you heard this one..." From under his coat, he pulls a gun, which he aims. "You're feeling lucky, punk?" He gestures with his free hand, "That bag is yours for two-kay a kilo. Freebies not allowed." He shakes his head slightly, "If you want this little comedy to get any darker, I'll have you know I have spares on me."

As for Osprey? He keeps his actions on his peripheral vision; he knows what he's doing.

Mary Jane Watson has posed:
Unfortunately for Kite-Man, Osprey's assessment is on the money (or in this case, lack thereof). W hatever spare money that Kite Man had apparently had gone into making sure he had a thematically appropriate bag to steal things from the bank with.. Not shoulder straps.

The line tethers, and Kite-Man uh-ohs,"YOu wouldn't.. You wouldn't.." Yoinks and AWAY!

Well, namely the rocket powered kite, which flies on. The Man.. Not so much.

Cue falling towards the ground to make a specifically Kite-Man shaped impact crater in the ground if his impact was not stopped.. That would also have the silhouette of a crashed Kite agaisnt it if it hit.

... Despite him not having an actual kite on him. Don't question it. That way lies MADNESS.

The tall and blonde one would shrug over at Caleb, "Sure, I got plenty of Kays on me." This somehow turns over into him handing over a pair of dolls. The Olsen Twins. Mary-Kate.. And Ashley. "There you go, you $##*!'ing $#*#!'it." Dolls handed over, kilo of the semi good or evil stuff taken ine xchange.

Austin Reese has posed:
Osprey watches as the cable snags and the rocket and the man go in opposite directions, "Get out of here!" Osprey tells Caleb, before he runs for the edge of the building.

He fires a line down into the edge of the roof, as he leaps off, tackling Kite Man in midair as he falls, turning over in midair to hook another line on Kite Man's belt, and then fires it, which wraps it around a street light.

Osprey's line pulls tight and arrests his momentum, as he cuts it and drops onto the sidewalk. Kite Man finds himself swinging like a pendulum under the street light, as Osprey grabs the bag of money out of the air, and sets it carefully under the dangling villain, "GCPD should be here in a few minutes. Hang around."

He fires a line back up to the roof, turning around to watch and make sure that the cops show up, and that nobody snatches that bag of cash before they do.

Caleb Dykstra has posed:
Caleb Dykstra watches the exchange taking place with a deadpan look. He sighs, and a shot is fired. Not at the duo, no... But at the base of the old water silo that's been a silent witness to all this momentary wierdness. "For the intelligence-impaired... I mean money!"

But then, it makes a click on his head. Money! His boss will want the money from the product he was to sell, right? It's a risk that he may lose it, but... He has to risk it.

So, he fires a shot, and another shot. Another shot, and another. And another, and another. And the whole clip is dumped on the old rotting wood foot pole - all so that it comes tumbling down on the two dealers and causes a flood. A flood that Osprey will have to contain, and in the meantime Caleb will zoom down the stairs, to get to the street. And to the car he's got parked outside around a corner, while going for the money that's been put on a nice little open spot.

Well, it's a longshot, but his family's life hangs in the balance, and he's run out of options.

Austin Reese has posed:
The sound of gunfire makes Osprey turn around, as he had just landed back on the rooftop, "What the hell are you doing?!" He yells at Caleb, though he soon figures it out as the water tower tilts and crashes down onto the roof. Osprey finds himself looking at a wall of water.

He hops back off the roof, and grabs onto the still swinging Kite Man, hauling them both out of the way as the water washes down off the roof, and as near as Osprey can tell, washes the money away.

"Well shit. Bet they're going to pin that one on you too, Chuck. Good luck."

Osprey hops off of Kite Man and down to the now soaking wet pavement, taking a few quick scans of the area with his domino mask. Maybe they can track down where the money washed off to later, he figures.

Either way, after a few moments, he's gone, disappearing up into the night sky with a grapple line, just as the first GCPD cruiser rounds the corner with lights and sirens, pulling up to the soaking wet, upside down dangling Kite Man.