1411/Therapy: Genoshan Edition

Therapy: Genoshan Edition
Date of Scene:	27 April 2020
Location:	Charles' Office / Classroom
Synopsis:	The Professor gets Lorna to agree at least to further therapy and time to relax.
Cast of Characters:	Charles Xavier, Lorna Dane

---

Charles Xavier has posed:
The morning is made pleasant by the weather brewing outside, a gentle day with a sun that is making its climb into the sky. The breeze the blows ruffles the curtains of the open window in Xavier's office. The Professor, recently returned from a lecture circuit and recruitment trip, is sitting in his wheelchair, a blanket over his legs and a book on his lap. Rather than behind his desk, he has taken up a spot near the window. Upon the small end table a platter sits with a tea pot steaming softly and a freshly poured cup of tea in one of the two cups.

Lorna Dane has posed:
Suffice to say Lorna's mental state was a mess. So much so that even Scott had been worried about her and had flown her back from Genosha with him on his last supply run for the newly made X-men base there. Panic attacks, PTSD that left her frozen, and a bad bipolar spiral downward was all creating an overwhelming mess. The young woman had been plucked from the ruins of Genosha two weeks after its destruction, and she had been magnetically holding the words of the population's last moments.. Jean had done what she could.. but therapy was never a one and done situation.

Lorna entered the office with a slow shuffle of her feet, her usually green hair had been messily dyed black, and green peaked out in strips and blotches, particularly in the back. Her make up was a smear from the previous day. A pair of ripped jeans and distressed sweatshirt completed the look that just screamed she was done with trying to put forth any kind of 'royal' appearance. "You wanted to see me Professor?" She asked softly, stepping forward to meet him at the window after she'd knocked politely and entered.

A glance was spared for the desk and then back to the window where two cups of tea sat out.

Charles Xavier has posed:
Charles' eyes give Lorna a studious examination, the compassion in them very evident as he nods. There's a warmth to his tone as he speaks, "I did Lorna, please, come have a seat with me. Enjoy a nice cup of tea and keep an old man company for a bit?" He offers, closing his book to set it aside and reaching to pour a second cup of tea for the young woman.

"It's been a challenging time lately, hasn't it." There's no inflection of question, just a simple statement.

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna sat, pursing her lips together as she bit back the urge to say the first thing that came to mind. It wasn't what she really thought, but it was a reaction all the same, knee jerk in her need to defend herself. But she bit it back, practice held her tongue as she shifted in her seat and made to accept the second cup of tea. Even if the Professor was a telepath and could very well pick up those stray thoughts if he wanted to.

Not that he needed to with Lorna, she wore most of her emotions on her expression, unless she was trying to be diplomatic. Which was something she'd picked up while in Genosha over the past few years.

His statement earned a flicker of her green eyed gaze as she wrapped both hands around the tea cup with care and just held it for a long moment rather than sipping just yet. A shrug followed as she lowered her gaze back to the tea and she seemed to mull over what to say in response. "Sure I guess you could say that." She finally ventured.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"When I lost the use of my legs, it was a pretty painful time for me," Charles begins as he settles back into his wheelchair, "Honestly it still is. There's times when I just, if I focus on it I feel this bubbling anger brewing up inside of me. The sense of loss, the sense of helplessness. The fact that there is nothing that I did to deserve it and nothing I can do to fix it." Looking into his cup of tea, "Between you and me Lorna, there were times very early on I wished that instead of losing my legs I had just died. That it would have been better that way." Charles sighs softly at that and them manages a small smile towards her. "There's definitely times even now when I think how useless I am to the rest of you."

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna averted her gaze, and finally took a long sip of the tea. She pursed her lips, and her gaze shot toward the professor's leg as he spoke of them. She looked away once more, her mind a torrent of emotions that were typically shoved down and forgotten about. If she didn't look too hard, then she wasn't going to be bothered, and she could function. Thinking about what happened...

She squeezed her eyes shut and reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. "I'm sure it was very hard for you, Professor." But. It hung on the edge of her thoughts so loudly, that she might as well have said it.

"I'm.. not sure it's entirely the same." She finally managed to get out, and swallowed hard, setting the tea down. "I failed to do anything when Genosha was attacked. I froze up. I couldn't save anyone. That was on me. I was trained here and by my father for years. I should've acted. And I didn't. That's on me. What happens to Genosha going forward is on me. Every life lost is on me. Every failure that happens to the people there. Every supply shortage. Every attack. Every political fuck up going forward is on me, professor."

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Do you feel guilty that you survived and others didn't?" Charles asks quietly towards Lorna, still sitting in a comfortable position in his chair and studying her with those eyes. "There is no shame in surviving, Lorna. And there is also no shame in being angry that you did."

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna exhaled a breath, shooting Charles a look. "There's shame in being a hero, and being trained for years to be one.. and then failing to act when people needed you the most." She pursed her lips, and setting the tea cup down and she shifted in her chair. "If I failed to act, when the Sentinels attacked, then that's on me. I failed people and they died." She crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair.

"What's the point of training here and everything if when it matters.. I still.." She shook her head and she lifted a hand to comb through her hair.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Training does not mean you're going to be always prepared for every situation, Lorna," Charles says softly. "We train to prepare, yes. But training is practice, so that we can better handle situations, not perfectly handle them. Yes, you failed to act. But so did a lot of others didn't they? Where was I during the attack? Where were your friends?"

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna reached up to rub at her eyes, and she closed them to block out the sight of the tea and the professor. Which incidentally, only made the rise of her memories of Genosha more potent. Memories of flames. Of people screaming. Sentinels blasting them into dust and bones. Her forcefield the only thing that saved her as Hammer Bay fell apart all around her. Screams.

She let her hands fall away, blinking hard to ground herself back in reality. Or at least tried and failed to do so. She inhaled slowly, and let her breath out in a gust, and she turned her eyes back to Charles. "You weren't on Genosha. The X-men weren't there. My father's strongest Acolytes weren't there.. My dad--" Her voice broke, and she choked on a sob that launched itself into her throat. Whatever had happened to Magneto was something people still debated. There was no body.. But where the palace stood was now only a glassy surface with nothing remaining. She'd felt his connection the magnetic fields cut off.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Exactly Lorna, no one was there but yourself, your father. Against an overwhelming force. I don't fault you for freezing. I don't think anyone does except yourself." Xavier sighs quietly, "Nothing is going to bring those people back, their loss is horrible. And nothing is going to repair the damage done." That's when his tone softens further, "But the battle is still going on. The losses are still adding up, within you. That fight is going on in your heart, in your mind, Lorna. Why don't you take me with you, to where you go when your eyes close?"

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna swallowed hard, and shook her head. "People blame me. I've been yelled at. Screamed at. I've been attacked." She squeezed her eyes shut again and she inhaled and exhaled slowly. The images from Genosha flashing over her again as if they were seared into her retinas. She blinked, and looked back to the Professor. The tea otherwise untouched. The warm spring sun filtering through the windows and the sound of birds chirping outside. She fixated on these details, trying to ground herself back into the world about her. But it felt //wrong//. As if by being there and enjoying those things.. wasn't something she should be allowed to do.

"N-no." She breathed, shaking her head as the Professor asked to go into her mind. To see it. "I.. I can't. Please. I can't do that Professor."

Charles Xavier has posed:
Xavier shakes his head slowly, "I do not mean to relive it with you Lorna. I mean that I want you to take me with you and let me know your pain. Rather than keeping it bottled up, can you share it with me? You know this is a place where there is no judgement, it is ok to hurt and to hurt deeply. And you are hurting deeply, but rather than attempting to contain it, I think it may help for you to just let it out, here, where it is safe for you to do so."

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna shook her head, and she cringed at the Professor's words. "I'm..." She stopped and seemed to try to find herself again. To try to root herself back into the present. And to shove down everything all over again. She'd been //functional// for the past month or so. Why was she failing at that again so very much and so quickly?

It had all spiraled when Scott had pressed about her leadership, questioned why she'd made her decisions. Her choices. Questioned her. Pushed for answer that she couldn't process at the time.

"I don't think I can function if you do that Professor." She rubbed her hands, crushing her knuckles in one hand as she spoke. She winced, biting her lower lip.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Are you functioning now?" Xavier asks slowly. "Let's not do the whole thing, why don't you tell me about just one feeling that you have overwhelming you right now. Just a small step, yes?" That kindly smile never leaves, the tone of patience never departs.

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna swallowed thickly, looking down at her hands and pursing her lips together as she shifted awkwardly in her seat. She closed her eyes and slowly reached up to rub the sides of her head, putting pressure on her temples as stress throbbed and collected there. "Fear? I... I close my eyes and that's just all I feel. I'm scared of it happening again. Of... so many things." She managed to get out.

Her eyes opened up and her gaze lifted to the Professor again. "I'm scared, Professor. Of everything." She exhaled a shuddering breath, her chest rising and falling in slow, methodical way. She was trying very hard to breathe and not let the panic overwhelm her.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Fear is a completely normal, very healthy recation Lorna, particularly after what you've gone through," Charles explains. "It was a trauma, a horrific thing that you had to endure and encounter. We all suffered, but you were in the epicenter. Like anyone in that situation there is stress, there is trauma that we need to work through. But if we don't attempt to work through it, it'll end up consuming you from the inside out."

Motioning to the cup of tea, he goes on, "If you weren't scared I'd be concerned Lorna. If you didn't feel this, I'd be concerned. The fact that you do is healthy because it shows who you are as a person, compassionate and caring. So now what we need to do is learn to work through the emotions that come with the trauma so that they don't overwhelm us."

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna fell silent as she watched the Professor motion to the cup of tea and she shifted as she leaned forward in her seat. "It's healthy to be left with nightmares? And to... to have things from nowhere make you feel sick? I just.. I want to be done with it Professor. I want to sleep a night without nightmares. I want.." She lips trembled faintly and she lowered her hands from reach for the tea and they shook. She shoved her hands beneath her thighs in response, trying to hide, even from a telepath.. how she was feeling.

She had a duty afterall, at least that's what everyone told her. And as much as she didn't want it--Genosha, the responsibility of her father's legacy, all of it. She kept feeling as if she had no choice either. So she tried to hide the signs of her physical responses and tried to do what was asked of her.

"My father went through way worse than what happened to Genosha for years. And he didn't break down into panic attacks."

Charles Xavier has posed:
"He didn't?" Charles asks back to her with a soft smile, "Lorna, there were a large number of times your father sat right in that chair with me as we talked through things that had happened. He grew up..." Charles sighs softly, "His life was not your life. His struggles formed him and molded him into someone that... That was a friend, but a troubled friend." Xavier smiles at the young woman, "When I said I'm glad you are struggling it was your father I was thinking of. Yes, you are right, he wouldn't have reacted the same way, because the parts of him that allowed such had been taken away through his life. That's not a healthy response. Yours is. The nightmares... they will get better, in time. The pain will lessen, in time."

"I've done easy fixes before, and they always end up making things much worse. I told myself it was because the people I loved were suffering and I could fix it. In the end, because I refused to let them grow I ended up making it worse. I won't do that to you, I care for you, for all of you, too much."

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna hunched her shoulders as she once more shifted and finally reached for the tea, listening as Charles spoke of her father even as she kept her gaze low. She finally took a sip, and carefully lowered it again to balance on her lap. She seemed to struggle with how to order her thoughts and on what to say. Her mind was a spiral: fear, her father, Genosha, who people wanted her to be, and who they expected her to be.

Eventually, she exhaled a long sigh and glanced back to the Professor. "I don't see how talking about my thoughts of feeling is going to help with any of it either, Professor." She offered softly, her voice filled with dry bitterness.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Sometimes it helps to vocalize it, sometimes it helps to acknowledge it. Sometimes it helps to just scream and swear." Charles leans forward and lowers his voice, "Sometimes it helps to just sit in silence with someone you know cares and not even speak at all." Reaching out, Charles moves to gently pat Lorna on the arm if she allows it, "Rather than focusing on everything that others put on you, it's ok for now to focus on taking care of yourself. In fact, I insist."

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna didn't move or object when the Professor patted her lightly on the arm, and she simply pursed her lips into a faint frown. Her mind was tumbling over and over again, circling back to the same points, the same fears, and images that burned into her mind's eye. She was a mess of emotions still, and it would be a long road before she was truly considered 'better' or 'stable' by any means.

"It's easier to just focus on anything else, I guess. To just... do whatever else rather than think or talk about it. I guess." She sipped at her tea, now slowly cooling in her grip.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"Of course it is. Like any pain or any challenge, it is incredibly difficult to be asked to confront it. That is why I'd like for us to meet regularly and slowly work through things piece by piece going forward. So that you don't feel like you need to confront everything at once but instead we can do it measured and make progress. It's a long road Lorna, but you will come out the otherside a much stronger person." Charles's tone attempts to carry affirmation to it.

"In the meantime, might I suggest some mild theraputics such as an evening tea and some other calming remedies to help you relax in the evenings?"

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna's lips twitched as she glanced side long at the Professor that had taken her in as a surly teenager with an attitude and magnetic powers. "I have to go back to Genosha and try to rule competing factions and also run over to a few diplomatic meetings, Professor. We don't get the luxury of relaxing evenings." She mused, and shook her head.

"I dunno. I'll try.." She sighed, and took another sip of her tea.

Charles Xavier has posed:
"There's a Hebrew concept, the Sabbath. Many people consider it to just mean Sunday and putting one's feet up. But in reality it deals with taking time to set aside. For some that is setting aside time for God, but for everyone, there is a necessity for us to set aside time to rest. To simply be without fear of obligation, without need of duty." Charles smiles at Lorna, "Genosha, factions, the world. All of them can make it without you every once in awhile so you can take care of yourself. For the longest time I refused to take time for myself, I thought everything would fall apart. And some things may have, others stayed together, but in the end there's nothing wrong with setting aside time to breathe."

Lorna Dane has posed:
Lorna shot the Professor a look as he spoke of the Sabbath, faintly amused, and painted on her expression with a quirk to her lips. "I know about that Professor, it starts on sundown on Friday and ends on Saturday night." She murmured, for all that Lorna hadn't been raised Jewish, she had spent time to learn her heritage when she's found out about it.

"And for the record, my father never kept it. At least not when I lived with him. And it was hard to get him to stop and take breaks at all. He would skip meals or lock himself in his study all night to work on something." Her voice and gaze went distant when she spoke of her father, and there was some warmth in it too. For all that Magneto hadn't raised his youngest, he perhaps the closest relationship with her before his death.

And even then Magneto kept his secrets.

"I just feel like I can't afford to fail again, Professor. Not with lives at stake."

Charles Xavier has posed:
"I do not suspect you'll fail again Lorna," Charles says. "I would even challenge the notion that you failed at all, but we can discuss that another time. For now, I think we've made some good progress in getting ourselves a plan, in talking. You are not alone Lorna, never forget that. I think sometimes your father forgot that and it led him to loneliness. I don't want that for you."