14227/One day, you will understand. You will grasp the glory of puns.

From Heroes Assemble MUSH
Jump to navigation Jump to search
One day, you will understand. You will grasp the glory of puns.
Date of Scene: 23 February 2023
Location: The Coffee Bean
Synopsis: Kamala invites Viv to help out with college paperwork. They talk about the perils of being punk in Gotham.
Cast of Characters: Kamala Khan, Vivian Vision




Kamala Khan has posed:
Ms. Marvel has found herself facing down the most implaccable, unshakable, nigh immovable monster there is. College admission paperwork! She can't ignore it, can't run away from it, can't even punch it. All she can do is write and write. And sometimes use a scrap piece of paper to doodle little pictures of her punching a hulking figure labelled 'College'. So she can kind of punch it.

But eventually even she realizes she's lollygagging on getting things done, and so she's trying a new tactic. Not filling it out at home where she's got her computer, and her phone, and the TV, and her books and snacks. No, Ms. Khan is at the Coffee Bean, where she has only her phone. And snacks. But they are /pricey/ and /fancy/ snacks, and her large peanut butter cookie with peanut M&Ms in it is being savored. Only one chunk per page filled out. But the phone has been seeing steady use, texting Vivian Vision play by play updates as each page of application is finished. And several desperate pleas to provide entertainment and distraction. But she's got more paper in the 'Filled out' pile than the 'Waiting to be filled out' now, so progress is being made. Even if it's coming at the price of frequent, despondent groans.

Vivian Vision has posed:
It's a heroines duty to help those in need! Which is why Vivian Vision has taken the time to fly on over to New York.

She doesn't really drink coffee. Or eat food. But she can complete paperwork like no-one else can. Ideally via electronic forms. Who still uses dead trees for documentation? Barbarians that's who. Still to ensure Kamala gets her forms completed with the least fuss Viv has brought spare pens, pencils and other useful supplies. As well as a small amount of cash to buy Kamala coffee with. To reward her for getting the work done.

The texts get a reply. 'On my way'. And the synthezoid teen, as she flies, idly browses through every college in the countries application processes. Requirements. Sample writing guides. The works.

Kamala Khan has posed:
When Vivian arrives, Kamala's got more papers moved to the Finished pile, and she only looks like she's /half/ considering throwing the rest into the air.

But all in all, she's probably overthinking things. She's got good grades, she's applying at NYU, Vivian's probably determined the fifteen best ways for Kamala to finish her application before she steps in.

And the synthezoid's arrival does wonders for Ms. Khan's morale anyhow, judging by the way her eyes light up, her lips spreading in a wide smile, hand not filling out the next form lifting in an excited, energetic wave! She doesn't call /out/ to Vivian of course. That would interrupt the soft music the staff are playing. Ruin everyone's groove.

And kamala's responsible enough even in the depths of application woes not to want to do /that/.

Vivian Vision has posed:
Vivian Vision returns the enthusiastic wave. "Hey Kamala," she greets once she's close enough to do so without raising her voice. "I see you have made a start on your applications. Would you like me to review what you've already done? Or assist you in completing the remaining paperwork first?"

She waves off the cafe staff. Not needing any hot drinks or snacks of her own.

She looks at the pile of papers. "Is there anything specific you want to include? Or apply for? In terms of the courses you wish to take?"

Kamala Khan has posed:
Kamala's eyes widen for a moment... then narrow. Then narrow further. And slowly, slowly... she takes on the aspects of Kamala With a Scheme! Her pen is carefully set down, the filled out papers offered up. "Welllll.... I mean, you know me well, right? And I bet if you /did/ review my work, you could correct any grammar or spelling mistakes..." She glances around like she's about to propose robbing a bank, "And, then, you could... mimic my handwriting and fill the rest of these papers out really fast, right? I mean, it's not even cheating because it's all just really boring background biographic stuff and grade summaries and... like... /paperwork/! You could /save/ me from it, Viv!"

    She stares, all wide eyed, pleading, nearly coiling in tension. This is a perfect plan! Perfect, she says!

Vivian Vision has posed:
Vivian Vision tilts her head. "I would be able to do all of that," she agrees. "Yes. But you would lose the valuable experience of completing them yourself. And once you start on the slippery slope of plagiarism where do you stop? Will you be asking me to write all your college assignments? To attend classes for you? Perhaps you'll even expect me to go on dates on your behalf?"

She pauses for dramatic effect.

"Besides despite what you might think I didn't look up every single bit of your personal information. I did /try/ leave some mystery between us!"

Kamala Khan has posed:
Kamala groans, collapses forward to cradle her head in her arms under the assault of vicious, precision deployed logic and common sense. Which at least muffles her indignant noises at the prospect of Vivian filling in on dates for her. Her head tilts, one eye peeking up from the shelter of crossed arms as she murmurs out dryly, "No, I was not expecting you to do my assignments or attend my classes! Maybe just like... you know, a little tutoring now and then! If I need it! I mean, I'm thinking of angling towards language arts and creative writing, so like... /proof reading/ maybe?"

She rolls her eyes and huffs out, "And filling in for me on any dates isn't a concern. My social life has been non-existent recently. It's just... all... life's all everywhere!" She snags up the next paper for filling, pen beginning to fly with zeal and... maybe a /bit/ of frustration, "Besides, even if you didn't look it all up, I probably blurted it out without thinking!"

Vivian Vision has posed:
Vivian Vision nods. "I can proof read and spell check," she offers. "That wouldn't be difficult or ethically a problem. Although you usually have to pay a proof reader or professional editor for those services."

She scoops up the pile of completed documents and begins flipping through the pages. Pausing every now and again to make small adjustments when needed.

"Harper was saying about going to a gig sometime. You could come along with us?" she offers. She gives a little teasing grin and adds "As for blurting things out... Yes but I was being polite and pretending you didn't."

Kamala Khan has posed:
Kamala Khan frowns thoughtfully, teeth worrying her lower lip, "Well, I mean, I'm sure I can repay you somehow! Maybe not like... actual proofreading rates... those can get kinda pricey... especially for someone about to be paying for textbooks!"

Her eyebrows perk and she grins wide, "Oh! Like... a punk show gig? Like with music and /daaaancing/ and the bass dangerously loud?"

Kamala looks /seriously/ contemplative, "I mean, it's tradition to go a /little/ wild in college. A punk concert would be good practice."

She nods solemnly and then huffs out, "I... you... I... dangit! You're going to lord my own secrets over me, aren't you?"

Vivian Vision has posed:
"From what I can gather the concert or gig is going to be loud yes," Vivian assures. "I don't really know anything about the details yet. I'll ask if she minds you tagging along. I'm sure it'll be fine! We can all wear punkish clothing. Ripped t-shirts and short skirts. Do some dancing in 'the mosh pit' and have some drinks. Non-alcoholic for you, although Harper can probably buy herself beers."

Her head tilts to one side. "I'm not omnipotent but if knowledge is power...."

Kamala Khan has posed:
Kamala Khan writes and writes and writes and drops her pen as her eyes widen, "Wait, where /is/ this concert? I mean, I don't /have/ a dorm room yet, I'm still living at home and... uhh... well, okay, I'm sure I can sneak an outfit out in my backpack! I'll just have to change before I get home... don't want to give my parents heart attacks. Busy enough with all this college stuff, can't add 'Family medical emergency' on." She shakes her head solemnly, but also, she blazes through her forms, inspired by the simple presence of friendship!

She quirks an eyebrow and peers up from writing, "You're not planning to become my benevolent AI goddess, are you? Because I'm pretty sure that's actually /more/ problematic than filling out my college application. Also, you know, awkward if you try to conquer the world and then all our friends and uhh... coworkers... show up to stop it. Super awkward. Suuuuper. Awkward."

Vivian Vision has posed:
"Probably somewhere in Gotham?" Vivian muses. Working through the list of completed paperwork. "I don't know the venue or the band yet. I'm sure we can stop by her place to change into suitable clothing for the gig?" Once she's completed her checks and made all the spelling, grammar and procedural changes the stack of papers gets returned. "That's all done for you. Want me to check the rest?"

"I have no plans on becoming an AI goddess. That seems like more trouble than it's worth. Besides have you ever looked up the God of the internet online? It's all kinds of cat memes and pornography blurred into one incoherent mess."

Kamala Khan has posed:
Kamala Khan gasps out, "Oh! Wow, so like... a /real/ punk show. Like, a punk show in the punkiest city... I mean, it's got to be the punkiest city. Surely." And then Kamala smacks her forehead lightly, "D'oh, of course, we can totally stop at Harper's place to change. Okay, I will try to like... think up the /coolest/ punk outfit."

Kamala finishes the last paper and offers up the remaining stack of ungraded work, eyebrow quirking, "Yeah, I mean, you gotta be careful with that. You look at too many cat memes and then you accidentally ask Tigra if she wants a cheeseburger and then you start laughing and then she asks /why/ you're laughing and then you cringe into a singularity and vanish from the universe."

She pauses for a long moment, "Oh, am I the only one who worries about that?"

Vivian Vision has posed:
"We can pick out a punk outfit for you?" Vivian offers with a grin. "You'd never be willing to rip a Captain Marvel t-shirt now would you?" Her head tilts to one side. "Just make sure not to bring anything too expensive, we'll be in Gotham after all, and it'll ruin the night if we get attacked by gangs of muggers before we ever reach the venue." Not that it'll cause them any trouble. Unless Batman objects to two superheroes visiting Gotham without filling in the required paperwork....

"Thankfully I am able to partition my sense of humour off from the rest of my mind. So I'll never burst out laughing at the idea of Miss Grant requesting a cheeseburger."

Kamala Khan has posed:
Kamala Khan lets out a strangled little noise at the sheer /idea/ of ripping up a prized Captain Marvel shirt, "I... mean... like... maybe if I can find... one at a thrift store! But not like, a con exclusive! Or a limited edition! Or like, a really cool knockoff! But like... maybe I... maybe if there's one that's /already/ ripped it wouldn't be so..."

She shakes her head quickly, "Oh no, concert going is like... ID and maybe a bit of spending money. And maybe bus pass. Just in case." She heaves out a soft little sigh and then pauses, "Wait... is that why you never laugh at my most amazing puns?"

Vivian Vision has posed:
Vivian Vision blinks a few times. "We'll pick out an outfit for you," she assures. "No need to rip any Avengers merch. Besides it wouldn't be very punk to arrive wearing superhero branded clothing. And while I'm sure Carol would be cool enough to fit in at a punk rock gig I don't think a corporately produced Carol t-shirt would be."

She nods at the ID and spending money. "Yes, and to be honest I can simply order us a cab online if needed. So no need to worry about Gotham buses. Which I expect are prone to supervillain attacks. And dirt. Unspeakable dirt." Quite how Viv will cope at a crowded punk rock gig where everyone is spilling drinks and dancing until they're sweaty we shall have to see...

"Puns... I do not really understand language based jokes as well. Because English isn't my native language. It's a complex machine code."

Kamala Khan has posed:
Kamala Khan gasps softly and grins brightly, "Oh! Okay! I'll leave it to you. I am at your mercies. I mean, yours and Harper's, since she's like... the punk expert." She huffs and mumbles, "I could totally claim I was wearing it /ironically/ or something... but..." She shudders and shakes her head, "Yeah, I wouldn't want to risk the /chance/ of one of my favorite shirts being on a Gotham bus. Good point. Uber it is. Or like... I dunno, we hang off of you like the saddest private helicopter ride?"

Kamala finishes stacking up her now complete NYU application and points a single finger, "One day, you will understand. You will grasp the glory of puns."

Vivian Vision has posed:
"I can princess carry one of you," Vivian muses. "And Harper lives in Gotham and has her own motorcycle. So probably does not need the bus. She is however also old enough to drink and might not be safe to drive... So I guess one piggyback and one princess carry." She pouts. "Not that I am really a very fast flier. Calling for a driver really would be the optimal solution. Although I can't imagine any of Janets preferred firms would be suitable..."

Because what self respecting limo hire company will drive to a Gotham punk gig?

"I am already the most advanced AI capable of humour," she assures. "Vision doesn't get jokes at all. I don't think he even understands why a rubber chicken with a pully inside is hilarious."