14252/The Weight of the Lost

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The Weight of the Lost
Date of Scene: 26 February 2023
Location: 3C - Lara's Greenwich Loft
Synopsis: Steve wakes to find Lara has had nightmares of Yamatai.
Cast of Characters: Lara Croft, Steve Rogers




Lara Croft has posed:
It's a cold night in Lara's apartment in the village. Max is curled up on his dog bed in the corner of the bedroom with his head down, but his eyes are open. He's watching Lara. He'd been at her side moments ago, but she'd just pet his head and whispered to him to go lay down. There was a cold rain falling outside, not cold enough to be snow, but perhaps by 4 or 5am it might start to get that way. The clock reads 1:17am.

Lara had woken up at 1:10 in a fright. She'd swept herself out of bed and over to a padded bench at the foot of her bed. There she's curled up and laying on her side, a pained expression on her face as she's had tears running down the corners of her eyes over her cheeks.

Why the dramatics? The dreams, they were always there. From watching Roth die, to watching Alex die, to watching the so many others she tried to save, also lose their lives. these dreams were seemingly endless, and once a month they'd hit her really hard, not as much as they did the first year or so, but they still came, and came hard when they did seep back in to her slumbering.

Tonight, it had been the pools of blood, the body parts that were decayed and strewn across the shores of the blood, that she had to swim through, that she had to hide within to stay safe... to try and stay alive, to save who was left on the cursed island that the passengers, and crew of the Endurance had shipwrecked on back in October of 2019, when Lara was 21, and fresh out of UCL... on her first adventure.

The therapist that Lara had been court ordered to see had helped a little, but not much, and once the ordered number of appointments were over, she'd stopped going.

Now, Lara just bears through it, and knows she'll have very little sleep tonight, even with Steve here, she doesn't want to wake him up, to concern him with it, so she's curled up on the bench with a throw blanket pulled down over her, just quietly crying.

Steve Rogers has posed:
As he sleeps, head resting on the pillows and warm beneath the blankets, he reaches over with an arm. As if even in his sleep, he senses the absence of the woman that so often is sleeping there within his folded arm.

It's enough to stir him from sleep finally. At first feeling the empty space with his hand, then his eyelids fluttering slowly open and looking about in the dark. With Lara curled up as she is, it takes him a moment to realize that is her on the padded bench.

He slips from the bed quietly, enough so that if she's lost in the crying and the blanket keeps her from seeing, she might not realize he's up until he's taking a seat beside her on the bench. "Lara?" he whispers quietly. His hand reaches over to brush along her shoulder and back through the blanket, while the other seeks out one of her hands to grasp in his own. Even as softly as he's speaking, his concern and caring for her can be heard in Steve's voice. "What's wrong, Lara?" he asks her quietly.

Lara Croft has posed:
It's likely something that Steve is very aware of, especially with regard to former military service men and women who saw a lot of active combat. What Lara went through, especially so untrained for it, couldn't be lived with easily. Steve knew some of what had happened, but there was no way for him to know it all, but he's likely seen this kind of thing in others before who've gone through tramatic experiences. For Lara, it's multi-layered. Not only did she watch so many people she cared for get killed in just a handful of days, but she also had to kill to survive, and after it was all said and done, many people tried to make her the scape-goat for it. They tried to brand Lara the reason that all her friends had died, the way that they had died. Savagely.

When Steve settles down on the bench at her side, Lara opens her eyes and moves a little to look up and over at him, her left hand coming up to rub palm against her cheeks and eyes. "Steve..." Lara whispers back in her soothing voice.

Max raises his head up and makes a little whiney noise as his breed of canine is one to do. He stays on his bed though, knowing... trained to... stay until called.

Lara moves to sit up and lean on her right hand on the bench's padded cushion, she sniffs in breaths through her nose. "Sorry, I was just... bad dreams..." She tries to explain herself to him, even summoning a weak smile to try to show him she's okay. "I didn't mean to wake you up..." She adds in a tired voice.

Steve Rogers has posed:
There's confirmation in Lara's words for what Steve thought was most likely going on. As Lara sits up, he reaches over and lifts her gently and with ease to draw her into his lap, blanket and all. His arms go about about her, enfolding Lara as if he would shelter her from anything that would bring her pain or ill ease.

The man's eyes are full of empathy as he nods in understanding to her. "You should have woke me," he tells her reassuringly, a hand moving to cup the softness of her cheek as he looks into the Englishwoman's eyes. "I know what those dreams can be like," he tells her somberly.

His palm stays there alongside Lara's face, but his fingers brush gently, letting her feel that contact. "What do you need the most right now? To talk about them? Help forgetting them for now?" he asks her supportively. "You know I'm here for the long haul with you. There's nothing you could go through that I won't be here at your side."

Lara Croft has posed:
Lara moves in to his lap and embrace. She is soon to lay her head down on his shoulder and just lay against him now with her right arm going around behind his back on the edge of the bed, the blanket still around her shoulders, though falling down a bit here and there.

She's still shaken up, but having him there now like this does help her ease out of it. She smiles again at what he says as she adjusts her head softly against his chest and shoulder. "Mm... these are not as frequent as they used to be. You should've seen me shortly after ... well, even when I'd first come to America. I'd hoped the move would help, but it seemed to simply take time. Where it started with four or five a week, now it's just... once a month, maybe twice."

She says all of that quietly, the sounds of the rain pattering against the panes of the window adding to the background ambience, as Max lowers his head down again to rest it between his forepaws, his eyes locked on the pair across from him.

Lara takes a breath in between her lips. She pauses, then speaks again. "It's just... they're my memories. I have to own them. They're apart of who I am now. But.... that doesn't mean I have to like them, not by any means." Which all of that sounds like something a Therapist probably told her.

Steve Rogers has posed:
Even in the shadows and the faint lighting from the city that comes in through the windows, the room is itself a comfortable place. Familiar, the darkness only softening it as if to match the way the city becomes quiet at night. Muted further by that soft rattle of the raindrops on the windowpanes.

Steve's fingers move gently into Lara's hair as she rests her head against the brawn of his shoulder. He gives small nods of understanding as he listens. "You're a strong woman, Lara. But what you went through, anyone would struggle with the memories," he says gently.

He brushes his lips lightly into the hair on the top of Lara's head. "I can't tell you how many times I've dreamed of Bucky, falling from the train and disappearing from sight down the cliff alongside the tracks. And even when he returned and I knew he was ok, that hasn't put a complete stop to that dream," he commiserates.

His fingers brush soothingly through Lara's hair. "Does Jonah struggle with his memories, do you know?" he asks her quietly.

Lara Croft has posed:
Lara's eyes are off to the southern side of the room, where the windows are, but Steve's touch has her relaxing and melting a bit against him. His words sooth her soul and she just draws in a breath again before slowly releasing it once more. "If he does, he's never mentioned it. He has spoken of it a bit, but not for awhile. He didn't... see as much as I did. He was with our friend Reyes, and Alex for most of the time. They were locked in a cage, until I found them, freed them, and we established a base on the beach where we decided our next moves. But... he certainly saw enough..." She says that last bit with a softer voice, her eyes closed tightly again. After another moment she shakes her head from side to side. "My mother dies in a plane crash, my father suicide just rooms away from where I was playing. Then... Yamatai. I'm... cursed to have these kinds of things happen to me. Roth took me in as a surrogate parent, and he too perished for it."

She lets out a sickened little laugh, short and laced with disdain for her own misfortunes wrapped in a life that would seem so fortunate on the outside.

"Sorry. Self loathing comes with these dreams..." She quietly adds before her eyes open again, her chin tips up and she looks up at him. "Bucky is alive today, you said?" She asks, obviously having not met him yet.

Steve Rogers has posed:
"He is," Steve replies to Lara, his voice quiet as they talk in the dimly lit room, with the patter of the rain against the building for a backdrop. "Though he went through a lot during the time I was frozen. That... that might be a story for another time. But one I'm willing to tell if you want to hear it," he tells her. "He's with SHIELD now, for the most part."

Steve leans his head down, pressing another kiss, this one to Lara's temple. He lets his lips linger there, just letting her feel his presence in that touch of his lips. The way his strong arms hold her. Nestling Lara against the comforting bulk of his torso.

"The veterans in the support groups that I attend," Steve tells Lara quietly. He goes to at least one a week, sometimes two or three. He doesn't really speak of what is said there except in the most general terms, though he does talk fondly about the people themselves. "A lot of times I hear people focusing on those that they've lost. I think sometimes it's worth to stop and think about the ones that weren't lost too, though," Steve adds, deep voice soft for her.

"Reyes. Jonah. Sam. From everything you've told me Lara, they would not have made it off that island were it not for you. Going through what you have, yes it can tear a person up inside. But you even with what you were put through, you made a positive difference in the lives of others."

Lara Croft has posed:
Lara's breathing is more calm now than when Steve had found her, and his compassionate gestures toward her have helped bring her back from the stressful pit he'd found her in. She has a soft smile, a genuine one, showing on her face as she listens to him. It fades some there at the end though of what he says. "Reyes blamed me for Roth's death. They were... together, a couple. She blamed me for his sacrifice." She draws in another breath and sharply exhales it. "I think she's mostly let that go now though. She still messages me to ask how I am, and I back to her. She's here in the city, a retired police officer. I should ask her to Jonah's place some time, but I'm not sure she'd come."

Lara adjusts the blanket over her thighs some, letting it drape its corner down over her knees, she dressed in a pair of loose sleeping pants and a tanktop, with light blue socks on her feet.

"I'm always happy to listen to you tell a story too." She tells him as she looks up at him again and once more offers him a smile. "I never thought I'd ... show you this side of myself either. I thought I'd be able to hide it. Guess I was wrong." She smirks then and tips her chin up again to kiss him on the jawline, her left hand going to rest down against his chest with her fingertips on his collarbone.

Max hears a noise outside, a muffled car horn and muffled voices down on the street, the dog releases another little whine at the sounds before he looks back to Steve and Lara, licking his chops and adjusting his resting position on his doggy bed.

Steve Rogers has posed:
Steve Rogers gives Lara a soft smile at the kiss to his jaw. He gives a tiny shake of his head as he tells her, "You don't need to hide anything about yourself from me, Lara. I know everyone has some private things, and I try not to pry. But don't think there's ever something that you can't tell me, or that is going to make my feelings for you change."

He nuzzles another soft kiss to her temple, and then leans further down so the softest of kisses can be pressed to Lara's lips. Tender and comforting. Steve's eyes seek out Lara's as he leans back to see her face clearly again.

A glance is given to Max, and Steve pats the bench beside Lara. That's enough for the dog to dart over and hop up. He can obviously sense her emotions and he doesn't delay in pushing his head in against her, doing all he can to help her from the dark feelings that came in her sleep.

"I think that goes double for Max," Steve says with a smile, reaching over to brush the dog's head with his fingers for a few moments before returning his touch to Lara. "I'm ok if you wake me if there's a next time. But if you need some time alone, I'll understand that too," Steve tells her.

Lara Croft has posed:
Lara is quite accomodating of the kiss when it comes. "You're the sweetest man alive." She says a moment before they do share the kiss, and then she's just returning it. When they part again, she takes another slow breath before she feels the pat to the bench, hears the clattering of claws on the hardwood floor, then the jump of the heavy dog up on to the bench in front of her knees. It has her laughing softly as the whiney dog starts to greet the both of them, happily joining them on the bench, Lara now having to move her legs to accomodate something much less pleasant than the kiss with Steve.

Finally though, Max starts to lay down beside them and in front of Lara's legs.

"I think we've reached max occupancy on this piece of furniture." She says, her left hand now on the dog's head rubbing his fur and pointy ears with an affectionate stroke.

Lara's eyes go back up to Steve's face then and she smiles once more to him. "We'll see how it happens next time." She says with her eyes on him before she just lays her head against his broad shoulder again. "Thank you for understanding though." She adds while Max makes a whiney noise again, before panting hotly at the both of them.