1578/Dude, where's my pizza

Dude, where's my pizza
Date of Scene:	08 May 2020
Location:	Turtle Lair
Synopsis:	Mikey forgot the pizza. Instead, he found Spiderman, Artemis, and mousers. Investigations to come
Cast of Characters:	Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo

---

Leonardo has posed:
In retrospect, perhaps this was a bad idea. Sending Mikey for the pizza may not have been a decision of great wisdom. Sure, nobody was more eager to go then he was, but there's the small matter of there actually being any slices left when he got back with the possibly empty box.

Nonetheless, Leonardo passes the time in meditation, which is how it dawned on him that he'd sent the fox to bring back the henhouse. He wonders if he should be placing bets on whether he's going to go hungry tonight.

Raphael has posed:
The sound of weights hitting each other in repetition comes from the gym. Of course, Raphael is toning up the muscles with a workout, part of his daily routine. Cycle through different sets, keep everything in peak shape, don't overdo it in any one area. Who's the man? This guy.

"Thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty." *CLUNK* He drops what he was working on, hopping up for a towel and a swig of water, rolling his neck muscles before striding out into the main part of the lair. "Hey! Ain't dinner supposed to be here by now?" he calls out.

Michelangelo has posed:
Really, this is not Mikey's fault. Not this time. He's way past the 30 minute mark for free delivery or even three dollars off your order. When he arrives, he's winded, out of breath and bouncing up and down.

"Guys. Guys. GUYS!" Mikey announces in excitement. "I was out. And there was this place that is a storehouse for Null Cola, right? And there were these robots that were attacking it, like clack clack clack, and then there was this lizard woman. In armor! And a gun! Like a mutated lizard lady like us. But get this...."

Mikey pauses for a dramatic effect, looking at his two brothers.

"Spider-Man is /real/."

He doesn't have the pizzas.

Leonardo has posed:
...Leonardo opens his eyes. He notices what is not in Mikey's hands. "...I chose poorly." Clearly Indiana Jones had been on the TV recently.

With a level of exasperation only his youngest brother could cause, he says, "Where are the pizzas, Mikey?" He glances Raph's way, figuring he might have a similar question to ask.

Clearly the inner bet of going hungry tonight had won. Unless he either goes himself or sends Raph for it next time. Donnie wasn't likely to leave his little cubbyhole over there for much of anything. In other news, there's evidently a lizard lady, Spider man, and...the robots are interesting, but he's not going to get distracted that easily. Hunger can keep one focused.

Raphael has posed:
Raphael takes on what can only be described as 'Resting Raph Face.' You know the one, where he looks like a cross between over it all and ready to kick someone's ass?

"Obviously all that time in South Antarctica or wherever the hell you were made you forget a few important things, Leo," he grumps, crossing his arms before drumming fingers against one of them.

In near-perfect unison, his question comes in with Leonardo's: "Where are the pizzas, Mikey?" Only his way of asking it comes with a little more of an underlying threat. "Because if you think only Cowabunga Carl gets kicked where it hurts..."

The news itself doesn't change his expression at all. He only says, "I seen a dinosaur-lookin' freak out there, but this was before all the /other/ ones started showin' up. And everybody's seen Spider-Man, ya goof."

Michelangelo has posed:
"I've never seen Spider-Man! I thought he was a myth! I bet he's all spider-facey with eight eyes and OH! There's was this really tall woman that looked like a redheaded Wonder Woman! But the Lizard Lady? She was like... protecting the cola place, why would she be protecting a cola place?" Michelangelo asks the other two.

Because in the art of deception as a ninja, misdirection is key in order to keep your very hungry enemies off balance. "And why would robots attack a cola place?" he adds in confusion. "Maybe someone got a bad cola and sent their robots after the factory?"

Leonardo has posed:
Leo's not buying it. Raph had a point about him forgetting things, or maybe he just put too much trust in Mikey. There are things you can trust Mikey with, and things you can't, and pizza is generally a you can't.

"As he said, Spider Man is all over the papers, usually with some reporter or other calling him a menace, and anyone with robots in the first place probably has a bigger problem than a bad cola." Seriously, most people in the world above do not have robots to begin with.

"What I haven't heard is an explanation for the lack of pizza."

Raphael has posed:
"Null is supposed to be some kinda group that's makin' more mutants like us, I heard," Raphael explains as patiently as he's capable of, which with Michelangelo is occasionally put to the test. "There's at least one other one around that came from that, some dog. I dunno anything about Null Cola, though."

He places himself direftly in front of the turtle with the orange mask, and he reaches out for a hold of his turtle bro's cheeks. "Let's play a little game, Mikey. Leo and I are gonna ask you again, where are the pizzas? And you're gonna tell us. Sound good?"

The reason for the claiming of the cheeks is soon revealed as he mimes moving them to make Mikey talk, imitating his voice somewhat. "'Yeah, dudes! I ate all the pizzas again because I'm a shellbrain who forgets his bros might starve!'"

Michelangelo has posed:
Normally, Raph would be right, Mikey would be dead to rights and he'd get the pummelling he'd deserve. But in this case, he's really hung up on this. "Guys, there's more to it than that! What if the cola is turning people into mutants! We should stop that right?"

At the mention of ths pizzas... for the third time, the orange one slaps his hand against his forehead. "In everything that happened, I forgot!"

Reaching beneath his belt, he pulls out the small pile of cash to pay for the pizzas. He clearly got sidetracked by something.

Leonardo has posed:
Leo does notice the cash...which at least means he didn't buy it and eat it all. Or else he carried an equal amount of money on his person to make it look like he never spent any, which would be an excellent application of the principles of ninjutsu if he did think of that. But he won't give Mikey any such ideas.

"Sure, but it's hard to go investigate on an empty stomach, as you'd generally be the first to tell us." Leo apparently wants further explanations.

Raphael has posed:
Raphael is not in the right position to see the money until Michelangelo comes up with it. After letting go of Mikey's cheeks, he closes his eyes as if seeking meditation of his own. "Bro, soda might give you cavities and keep you up all night, but it doesn't turn you into some kinda creature."

Eyeing Leonardo for a moment, he returns his attention to Michelangelo, seeking to 'read' him based on the way he's acting. "You're really worried about this, aren't you?"

Michelangelo has posed:
Face smooshed by Raph, Mikey nods his head emphatically. "I mean, why else would someone send robots to a soda factory? It don't make sense!" Michelangelo responds as he looks between the other two. And then down at the money in his hand. And just like that, all the realizations come in at once. He realizes something.

"Guys, I'm really hungry. Do we have any pizza?" You know, the pizzas he was supposed to go out after.

Leonardo has posed:
Leo points ominously at the money Mikey had pulled out not a moment ago. He isn't even going to verbally reply. He's just going to point, like the ghost of Christmas future pointing at a gravestone.

"...Robots at a soda factory IS suspicious, and investigating it isn't a terrible idea. The problem is, you forgot your original mission when you got sidetracked by another." Mission is perhaps too serious a word, but he wants to impress upon Mikey he did have an important job to do up there.

Raphael has posed:
And there it comes. Raph's hand toward the back of Mikey's head, for a satisfying smack. It /could/ be ducked, but that's on Mikey reacting in time or not. "Yo! Dummy! We got no pizza because you never paid for it! Did you even remember to /order/ any?" he asks, hands spread out after the swing, then he makes a grab for the money himself.

"I guess ol' Raph has to do everything himself around here. The soda thing can wait." Grumpy turtle is most definitely grumpy.

Michelangelo has posed:
Mikey totally deserves the smack, he takes it with all the grace of the youngest brother. "But... Amazonian with giant axe. And lizard girl and and..." he winces and rubs the back of his head. "Ow."

Then comes the most dangerous words ever from Michelangelo. "You know, I bet that pizza dude's still waiting, I can get right back there and get those pizzas in no time and make it up to you guys!"

If he doesn't eat them first.

Leonardo has posed:
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. "...Raph. Go." Evidently giving Raph the okay to take the money and try to get it himself this time. Raph was frequently angry, but usually not anywhere near as easily distracted.

"You can have another chance when we're NOT starving." Because Leo has limits to how long he's going to extend his patience with shenanigans. "In the meantime, finish telling me about the amazon and the lizard girl. Raph will be back soon enough." Mikey does have information to finish reporting, presumably.

Raphael has posed:
Raphael tucks the cash away. "I got one question, bro. Did you even place the order, or do I gotta do that part too?"

There are reasons to be concerned about the things Michelangelo is telling them about, but it's hard to deal with the ills of the world on an empty stomach. Priorities and all that.

He grabs his pair of sai and puts those in their usual place as well, checking his headband. Looks good to go, but he waits for a little more of the story before splitting.

Michelangelo has posed:
"Yeah! I totally placed it. Donnie walked me through the whole online ordering thingie. And I even made sure yours had extra anchovies!" Michelangelo is serious about the pizza, pizza is food. Pizza is life. And now he's being told he didn't even do that. For a moment, Mikey has a hurt look on his face.

"I wouldn't have forgotten the pizzas if it wasn't really important." And now he flops onto the couch, dejected. "What do you want to know?"

Leonardo has posed:
Leo starts from the beginning. "...Alright. Describe the whole encounter, from start to finish. And describe the lizard girl, the amazon, and the robots as you go." Somehow, Leo finds his backup reserve of patience. He needs backup reserves of patience, rather frequently.

...so he placed the order, or at least claimed to. Well, that's something.

Raphael has posed:
"I guess we'll find out soon, won't we?" Raph asks, holding back the accusation, although he asks, "How long ago did you guys put the order in?" It could be entirely possible that the pizzas were already attempted to be delivered, only for the driver to leave and treat it like a hoax.

THE DRIVER COULD BE EATING THEIR PIZZAS THIS VERY MOMENT, WITH OR WITHOUT THE EXTRA ANCHOVIES, WHICH RAPHAEL MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE EVEN ASKED FOR!!

He adds, "And where am I supposed to be going, anyway? Which manhole cover or drain did you tell the guy to stop closest to?" Leo can deal with the story. Raph's nailing down the important details.

Michelangelo has posed:
"It's the river opening down at the cola plant," That's how this all started in the first place. Michelangelo goes into the details of it all. The sound of the robots marching and chomping on the gate, the sudden attack. The arrival of the black van with the lizard woman in it, that was defending the facility. And then Spider-Man came swooping in and webbed up the robots but that ate the webbing. "They called them MOUSERs, whatever that means." Mikey wasn't paying attention for that part.

And then the arrival of the Amazonian and that Mikey tried really hard to stay to the shadows, but then there was MOUSERs and he was chased out and the Amazonian threw him like a bowling ball and STRIKE, and then the MOUSERs were all destroyed, the end?

"And that's what happened! Swear on my last slice of pizza!"

Leonardo has posed:
"...Mousers. What did they look like again?"

As the story went along, side effects and all, "...You don't have a last slice of pizza. None of us do." Because he forgot the pizza! "And...the Amazon threw you like a bowling ball at robots? ...I'm sure Raph would like to throw you like a bowling ball around now."

Raphael has posed:
Raphael snorts. "Yeah, I'm outta here." He might just have to look around the place while he's there, most of the details already going by the wayside once he's out of earshot. Leo can do the listening to the energetic yarn Mikey spins. Meanwhile, Raph's got his suspicions that the order's already long gone and calling in another one to the same place might lead to a predictable New Yorker response.

He may just have to go back to one of their old standbys, picking another area entirely. "Way to go, Mikey," he mutters to himself after shutting the hidden door into the lair, making sure it remains that way.

Michelangelo has posed:
"I'm sorry, Raph!" Mikey is genuninely sorry. "Just... it was the moment, the excitement and adventure. And it was like being the Silver Sentinel and Turtle Titan all in one!" His head is clearly still in the comic books, but he at least got some sort of report out.

"Not like I forgot the pizzas on purpose." he mutters finally.

Leonardo has posed:
Leo looks a little wry, and, "Nobody forgets anything on purpose. You can choose not to get pizzas, for whatever reason, but that's a choice, and not the same thing as forgetting. Anyways, doesn't Splinter tell us to clear our minds of distraction?" Like, pretty much all the time?

"There is a reason for that."

Michelangelo has posed:
"But it wasn't a distraction. People needed help. I know the pizzas are important... but aren't we supposed to help people too?" Michelanglo asks as he looks up at Leonardo, as if his big brother is going to know all the answers. "I couldn't just have left them and got the pizza. What if someone got hurt?"

It's called a side quest, and Mikey fell for it. Hard. But he got some rep for that. Oh, and a Spider-Man actively seeking him out. But we won't get into that.

"I think Raph would have liked the Amazon." he nods firmly at that.

Leonardo has posed:
"...The ideal scenario is to help people, not be seen doing it, and pick up the pizza anyway. But life is rarely ideal. Speaking of which, how many of them saw you long enough to know there's giant turtles running around?" There's also a reason Spliter says things like 'keep to the shadows, stray from them reluctantly, for when you do, you must strike hard.' Because that's also a thing he has to worry about.

Michelangelo has posed:
"I think Spider-Man saw me. And the Amazonian threw me. But I don't think the Lizard Girl saw me." Michelangelo responds. "And I was out in the shadows before they could ask questions - I just missed getting the pizzas, because I wanted to get back here and tell everyone what happened." he blows out a breath and lowers his head. "It was a total bummer. I'm sorry, bro."

Leonardo has posed:
"...Spiderman seeing you is bad, if he takes an interest. He has senses that can detect things keeping to the shadows, or so it's said. Hopefully he has better things to do. Usually he does, I'd imagine, because he's either menacing the world or helping it, depending on who you talk to. Which do you think it is?"

"Did you happen to catch the Amazon's name? Themyscira isn't a big place, but it is populated and I'd like more to give Donnie to feed into his computer." Maybe he can look it up.

Michelangelo has posed:
"Artemis? She had a really big axe she called Mistress." Michelangelo responds, looking thoughtful about it all. "It's Spider-Man. He's touchy about the hyphen." comes the response from the turtle in orange. "I think he helps and people want to blame things on him. It's sorta dumb." he admits with a frown. "Leo, there's so many heroes out there. I mean, people that look way more weird than us. Why are we hiding? We could be helping more."

Leonardo has posed:
"...We're hiding because Splinter hasn't given us the okay to reveal ourselves. And while true there's all kinds of mutants in the world, we're a little more obvious than most. ...also, the life of the obvious mutants that can't or won't hide is less than kind. Splinter doesn't want that for us." One need only turn the news on to hear another story about mutants being a threat to everyone, and those are the ones that at least look mostly human.

"Artemis with a big axe called mistress. Got it. That should be enough for Donnie to look into it."

Michelangelo has posed:
Mikey sighs. "Okay." he finally just deflates and blowing out his breath, he pushes up. "I'm gonna go sort out my comics or something." There's a frown there, but he's not going to push anything. "We really should look into the mutant cola thing, though."

Leonardo has posed:
"We will. Soon as Raph gets back with the pizza. Robots suggest somebody with more resources than should care about cola going after cola. That's not an accident, and it's worth investigating." Knowing why might prove important later.