1718/It's a Sirius problem

It's a Sirius problem
Date of Scene:	17 May 2020
Location:	Manhattan
Synopsis:	Squirrel Girl and Glammour save a Stock Broker from music... it is not a flattering situation for either of them.
Cast of Characters:	Doreen Green, Glamour

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Doreen Green has posed:
What's a squirrel to do?

Doreen is just out enjoying the afternoon, which is to say, being jostled around by pedestrial foot traffic because she's not freaking Iron Man or... uh... Harley Quinn. Who, apparently, is a hero? Who knew right? I mean who'd have thought that? Kind of an elseworldy situation if you think about it. Like crack the nut of that lunacy and unpack the meaty protein.

There's Squirrel Girl, crossing the street with her goggles up on her brow, because you've always gotta be in costume just in case, with Tippy-Toe trying her very best to crack the nut of an... actual nut. Turning it over in her small hands, gnawing at it... tapping it against the side of Doreen's head. "Stop't." Tap tap.. "Seriously, stop't." Tap.. "I'm feeling very Rodney Dangerfieldy right now, okay? St...op..." HELP ME! HELP!

It's the sound from a passing car. Some fella screaming from the partially cracked window as the vehicle speeds past. "Oh golly, Tippy-Toe! Incidental heroics are afoot!" Dramatic pose! Opportunity nearly missed! Squirrel Girl leaps, literally, into action after the car. "Here I come, to save the dude!"

Glamour has posed:
Boring.

As morning had slipped into noon, Glamour had found nothing useful to do. When you're six inches tall, your choices are actually kind of limited to 'watching people', 'escaping cats', watching television, and doing very little of actual value. And then there's 'patrol'.

Patrol is also boring when nothing useful is happening, and Glamour's limited supply of magic means she needs to be able to make her efforts count. That's when when she sees the car and hears the screams for help herself. She's not immediately noticing the other person in pursuit, after all, that's hardly her focus, but first things first. She suppresses her glow (she's got the power, you know) and lets herself grow instead! Her illusion magics provide her costume, a dusky blue spandex-looking affair that's actually quite modest for what it is, accompanying a domino mask that does little to hide her face, though her long hair absolutely covers her pointy tinkerbell ears.

She's flying, flexible dragonfly wings carrin her towards the car in question. She has no idea what's going on, but you know, someone TOTALLY needs help!

Doreen Green has posed:
"See, I get that reference." Doreen says to the cellphone held on a selfie stick, recording herself as she leaps, lands, and releaps. "It's a movie from 1985.. SHOWNUFF. Excuse me, heroing time!" The phone is handed off to Tippy-Toe, who opens her arms to take flight on little rodent wings to get aerial footage of Doreen landing upon the trunk of the speeding vehicle.

Peering in through the tinted windows, jerking her head back and forth from side to side, twisting and tilting and looking and trying to see.. "HEY! This-" Tap tap tap, of one finger against the glass, "-Is not legal tinting.. You have to be able to clearly ma- AHHHH!" Sudden turns!

At high Speed!

Only the claws connected to her knuckles keep her from being thrown off the trunk. Digging into the metal, her whole body twists over on its side, in what would be painful on most peoples shoulders, but she's the UNBEATABLE! Squirrel Girl! "Cut it out guys, I'm trying to impress my fans okay! Work with me.. stop being a-holes!"

Glamour has posed:
What the hell? Who the hell is that?

Then it dawns on her. Is that... that crazy weird YouTuber that talks to the squirrels?! Yes, yes it is. Glamour had caught on of her videos before she was, you know, a frigging faerie.

She drops in front of the car because that's how it works for all the heroes on television, right? They put their hands on the fender and slow it down with their super strength! She's got super strength, so it should work.

It doesn't work. She didn't brace her feet properly, and even if she had, it would still be a pretty terrible idea. So there she is, on the hood of the car, opposite the Squirrel Girl, scrabbling for purchase to try to break the car herself. She's making progress! She's slowing it down!

Just not very effectively. She's new at this, okay?

Doreen Green has posed:
Doreen clambers back onto the trunk, panting from the effort, "Okay, shouldn't have had the resoto.. that was definitely a mistake.. stop looking at me like that." Said to Monkey Joe, who's ... somehow... just standing on the roof of the speeding car in a tiny squirrel sized tophat. "Seriously, you're weirding me out."

The small hero climbs up towards the roof, which is slowing... slowly... and gets in her feet under her. Knees bent, hands clawed into the trunk, she uses momentum to jump, and stomp both feet down on the back of the vehicle.

With her /own/ super strength, it's enough. Slamming the whole back end of the vehicle against the wheels, which causes the car to squeel, like Harley Quinn thinking about kissing Ivy in the latest episode of Harley Quinn with Colette, and begin to fishtail. "OH GOD! OH NO! STOP!"

Glamour has posed:
What the hell! The car is fish tailing!

Glamour grinds her teeth and gets this figured out. Her considerable strengt h means the front of the car is crumpling from her grasp and that's not really much better. This poor guy, his screams for help brought only disaster in the efforts to save him, but he's at least uninjured so far, right? At least as far as Glamour can see. SOme of the asphalt she's standing on is starting to tear up as she grinds her weight down into it, relying on her fae durability to protect her from harm. "Augh this hurts," she yells. "Stop already!" A glance towards SQuirrel Girl. her wings fold hard against her back.

Doreen Green has posed:
Tippy-Toe continues to glide, getting it ALL for Squirrel's Loyal Viewers! The Nuts and Boots Army! There's a merchandise store attached now, too. Where kids can get their favorite squirrels or t-shirts, or the big ticket item, Squirrel Girl onesy pajamas!

"Come ooooon!" STOMP. Doreen leaps up and nearly falls on her butt when she hits the back end of the car, which fishtails beneath her feet, and nearly dumps her off the side. A hand down keeps her from falling, but only barely.

This second jump, aided by Glamour's work up front, does finally bring the car to a halt!

Driver door flung open, a man in a business suit crawls out, "What the hell is going on?!" The sound of his very loud music, croons, My love is fallin to peeeeeices... somebody put me together!

"Oh man, it was Faith No More? Dude, I totally thought you were being kidnapped..." Looking down at his damaged vehicle. "I.. uh... lemme give you my insurance imformation..."

Glamour has posed:
"..I thought... but you... there was..."

Glamoiur looks cross eyed now that things have stopped. She... completely misread the situation.

... again.

She takes a moment to raise her hand over her head, working her self through her feelings. She whirls around to put her back to the car, steaming. Stewing. She impulsively kicks the ground which really just worsens the asphalt damage and makes some poor city construction workers and civil engineer cry.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH."

Doreen Green has posed:
Meanwhile, Squirrel Girl is getting reemed out by a very angry Stock Exchange broker. Do you know how much this car... if you'd paid any kind of attention... "LISTEN DUDE.. it's twenty twenty, nobody listens to Faith No More unironically in New York City... If you think about it..." She pauses, grunting quietly, as she slides off the back of his trunk. Monkey Joe climbing on her shoulder with tophat wiggling in his palm as if he were a stage magician about to pull a rabbit, or a middle finger, out of it... ".. this is kind of your fault. That's some aggressive music you're listening to, okay?"

Hands up, hands out, shrugging, "What am I suppose to think when a car speeds past screaming help me? THAT ISN'T EVEN A LINE IN THE SONG OKAY... This is clearly nonsense designed by some hack writer trying to turn this into a comedic case of mistaken intentions, and I'm not getting in trouble for it! I offered you my insurance information... Let's just say.. we'll split the blame. Everyone's at fault."

"That's fair right? Why, I'll just wait for your apology."

Glamour has posed:
"Both of you just SHUT UP," says Glamour, more annoyed than anything else. "It was an accident and you are clearly well enough to be able to handle it. I'm sure you're completely insured, so STOP YOUR WHINING. You're fine." She turns a glare on Squirrel Girl, but then her eyes are on the broker again. He's kind of representative of all the things she doesn't like. It would be so easy to summon a plague of illusory cockroaches to plague him. Or maybe shrink his car down even smaller and STEP on it. All the fun ideas of waht she could do to him are FLOODING her mind. Some of them are even less pleasent. "We were just trying to help. I'm going to go. There are other thigns I could be doing with my time!" She makes a rude gesture at him and lets her wings flutter, lifting her into the air.

Doreen Green has posed:
"I... did not even see her, did you see her?" Now Squirrel Girl and the Broker on, at least passingly, on the same side beneath the wrath of Glammour!

GASPS!

GLAMMOURATH!

Oh that's going on a t-shirt....

Doreen tries to lay her shoulder on the brokers shoulder, who was staring at the faerie taking flight, and has her arm dumped off with a little jerk. "Don't touch me! You just destroyed my brand new car!"

Doreen, still staring at the faerie, "Yeah, but I'd still argue that that roasting was far worse... And you are kind of whining... maybe, possible, and I'm being generous here, warrented... but /still/..." Big Squirrel shrug. "You can call it art. Now your vehicle matches your taste in music... bad."

Glamour has posed:
Glamour juset... glowers at them both, her jaw working as she stifles whatever it is she was going to say. And then she streaks off into the sky in a trail of... glitter.

...and sparkles.

...and blue going light, streaking in the mid-day sky.

Eventually, she vanishes from view all together!