2149/A Wish Is A Dream...

A Wish Is A Dream...
Date of Scene:	18 June 2020
Location:	2D - Terry's Apartment
Synopsis:	Gar's Make-A-Wish appearance leaves him in a heavy, contemplative mood. Luckily, Terry is a dork.
Cast of Characters:	Gar Logan, Terry O'Neil

---

Gar Logan has posed:
Sunday evening. Metropolis General Hospital.

Garfield Logan, otherwise known as Beast Boy, stepped out of the main doors clad in the black and purple costume that called back to his time in Doom Patrol. It was also the one he'd most often worn so far with the Titans. It was familiar.

Visiting the hospital to see a child going through a life-threatening injury? That wasn't familiar.

At least it seemed to go well. He had a few things to give and promise, it all felt genuine, uplifting even, yet at the same time...

His thoughts were interrupted by the lone reporter and cameraman. That's right. They were going to be there to catch him on the way out. Do a little PR. She must have seen the expression on his face after introducing herself from the local station, because when she asked if he needed a few minutes, he had to blink and clear his throat.

No, he assured her, it'd be fine, and it was. He'd acted for the camera numerous times before. He could put on a smile, an upbeat attitude, and convince people it was real. The interview was brief, covering what needed to be said, and what he said /was/ exactly how he felt. It ended, he thanked her, and he walked at a steady but clipped pace down the block until he was around the corner.

That's when the phone came out and he texted one Terry O'Neil: 'Where are you? I need to get away from everything for a few hours.'

Terry O'Neil has posed:
Terry had been expecting the contact. He was no fool, after all, and he knows for a fact that nobody is unaffected after doing what Gar went to do. After the picnic with Colette, Terry had driven home and gathered things, put leftovers away and prepared the apartment. Just in case.

As the text comes in, he's sitting on the couch in shorts and a tank top, relieved at last that the AC unit is finally overtaking the heat of the day. He looks at the message and frowns, and types back a reply.

<<My place. Do you want a Rabbit Hole?>> he asks. The process is simple, all Gar would need to do is take a picture of where he is with his phone, if Terry doesn't know the place, and a Rabbit Hole will be there in less than a heartbeat.

While he waits for the reply, he arranges the cushions on the couch and brings a pitcher of cool water to the coffee table.

Gar Logan has posed:
Gar's text back is simple: 'I'll get there on my own, the long way.'

It gives him the chance to walk a ways from the hospital, which is something he rarely does as just himself. So often, he spends time on four legs, or as something with wings, or whatever else crosses his mind. He's prone to showing off, enjoying the freedom to be whatever he wants to be, challenging himself with coming up with the perfect species for the situation.

Leaving that behind for a little bit, in a case like this, just allows him to think. Oh, he's stopped along the way a few times, people wanting to say hi, pose for a picture, things like that. He smiles for them, for the cameraphones, cracks a joke or two, but one thing he doesn't do this time is accept any requests to 'be <insert animal here> for me!' That leads to him making the excuse that he's got to go. If anyone is to find out why, it won't be the strangers on the street.

After enough of this, he changes his mind and flies the rest of the way there, to escape.

The knock at the door comes minutes later, no more than about half an hour after he'd replied to Terry.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
The door opens and Terry is there. There is some concern showing in his face. "Hey there."

The faithful little AC is working hard, but the result is that the place feels cool and welcoming in contrast with the heat outside. He shuts the door after Gar comes in and puts a hand on the small of the Titan's back, guiding him in. He does his best to go off Gar's cues to see if he wants to be touched, hugged, or if he just needs space.

Gar Logan has posed:
There's no sign of Beast Boy being overheated, though he's got that costume on. When Terry shows up in the doorway, he's given a brief, if weary, smile.

"Hey. Oh, it's cooler in here. Nice."

Shuffling inside, he's just looking for a good spot to take a load off and relax. The couch seems like the best place for that. "What a long day, man. Just..yeah, you know?" Maybe Terry does. Maybe he doesn't. Gar is not immediately forthcoming with information, however.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Yeah..." Terry says quietly, "I thought it would be." The redhead starts making his way to the couch. It's not a top of the line couch, and it definitely has seen a lot of wear and tear, but at the end of the day it is comfortable and that is all that matters. It is also spacious enough for two people to lay down side by side, if need be. For now, Terry sits down at one end, next to the arm rest, and pats the space next to him. "You look like you could use some rest. Got some water here," he nods towards the pitcher. No soda or sugars, at least for now.

Gar Logan has posed:
Gar Logan deposits himself on the couch next to Terry, giving the water a nod. "I'm kinda thirsty," he confirms. The mood is a quiet one, and he doesn't have to explain why. A lot of people know about what Make-A-Wish does.

"Long day," he says, seemingly forgetting he just used the same words before sitting down. "I mean, it was, you know, a good day, but..man. I don't think I'm going to be very funny tonight." His hands fidget with each other.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Don't think you have to be funny for me," Terry answers as he pours Gar a glass and hands it to him. A hand goes over to tease the unruly green hair with a light stroke of his fingers, "In here you get to be exactly how you feel, not how you think I might want you to feel. It's part of the contract." The teen then rests his arm around Gar's shoulders with a light touch. His thumb lazily rubs across the material in slow back-and-forth strokes in an attempt to provide a comforting touch, all the while keeping his voice low and gentle.

Gar Logan has posed:
"Right, just be me. I know," Gar answers, nodding before he accepts the glass and sips from it, pausing as the hair is focused on. "Good, because right now I just feel like the world isn't very fair. I already knew it wasn't, but sometimes you get a hard reminder." It's a start to the hospital visit, and he eases into the hold. The light touch does soothe, if only a little.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"I know..." the world wasn't a fair place, that's one of the reasons why the people in the team did what they did- to protect the weak being picked upon by the strong, to right wrongs that others didn't have the powers to right. But every power had a limit- and reality has the ultimate power. There are things even Superman can't do. Terry doesn't bring up the point that even Superman would feel helpless in the face of something like this, although everybody knows he did the hospital visits frequently before his 'death', because he was a beacon of hope... and there are times when you have no power over something, and the only thing you can do is just be there.

Terry leans in a little, touching the side of his head to Gar's. It's an insinuated permission, or reminder, that he can lean on him. "It's not fair. But... sometimes you can do things that mean a lot, and that's something that wasn't there until it happened."

Gar Logan has posed:
Gar Logan responds with a brief nosing at the cheek. Not a surprising gesture, given the sides both of them are capable of showing now. "We just sort of know it's there, but we don't think about it until it's in our faces. Maybe, I dunno, that's part of why I signed up for this. A kid is going through something he might not even make it out of, and all he wants to do is see me? Do you know how that makes me feel?"

He clarifies, without much pause. "It makes me feel like I matter to someone, that the stuff I'm trying to do matters. It makes me feel like I'm worth it, and before you say anything, I know we matter. You matter, and everyone in the Titans matters, and the guy I bought lunch from, and the doctor I spoke to, and..everybody."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"No, I get it," Terry says, returning the nosing in turn. "Things would be very different if we rememebred how much something, anything, can mean to someone." He looks at Gar and then says "You're probably tired. Here..." he slides back and then adjusts himself, so that his back is against the arm rest of the couch. He makes a space between his legs and sits up a little, "You look like you could use a comfy chair," he taps his chest, an offer to lean against him. The joke, of course, is that they are already on a comfy chair.

Gar Logan has posed:
Gar Logan chuckles, but it's half-hearted. He moves around, nestling into place. "Yeah. And it's like, I want to forget about stuff, but at the same time I don't. That kid I saw? There's gonna be a little story online. He got hit in the lung by a bullet some guy in a gang shot at someone else. Wasn't even doing anything, and now he's just trying to life. I didn't tell you about this, but I did the honorary Titan thing and gave him a replica communicator, and if he can handle it sometime, we're gonna give him a tour of the Tower."

Quiet for a spell, he asks in a way that still shows an innocence about the world, "Shouldn't someone just be able to do something and make it all better? Why can't we just do that for everyone who's hurt?"

Terry O'Neil has posed:
Terry's arms wrap around Gar, holding him in place against his chest, one hand back to stroking his hair. Under normal conditions this position would be insufferable, the summer heat being what it is, but the AC makes everything so much better. As he runs his fingers through Gar's hair, he answers quietly "We can do a tour of the tower. He doesn't need to travel far, we can Rabbit Hole him through and it'll be like taking a walk across the hospital ward." He has managed a great deal of stability manipulating Rabbit Holes. He can make the ride as smooth or as bumpy as he pleases.

Terry answers quietly, squeezing Gar lightly, "Some people are working on it. Some things are harder to heal than others."

He had met some mutants who could heal themselves to an amazing level, but so far he hadn't met any with the power to heal others. He had heard of powerful magic that could do impressive things, but magic of that level always came at a price... and there was no such thing as a wand you could wave to make everything better, no matter how badly one was needed.

Quietly, he kisses the top of Gar's head and holds him.

Gar Logan has posed:
Gar Logan is felt to sink further into place. It's just a comforting place right now, and the hairplay makes it more so. "No..I don't think we need to do it like that. At least not yet. One of the doctors said he's not out of the woods yet, but he's been responding well and they think he has a good chance. A couple others aren't so sure. But I don't want to do anything that could make him get worse again."

It's a delicate situation. He rummages around and comes up with his phone, navigating through it to show a photo that was taken of him as a Yorkie, held in the boy's arms. He looks like he should be in 1st or 2nd grade, and he's smiling while the green dog is there. "I know we can't just wave a hand and fix everything, but..you know, it felt really good to be there with him, but I felt sad as I was leaving. What about the kids who don't get a chance to meet someone like this? What about the people who die without something they can think about that at least makes them feel a little better?"

He explains, "I was Tyler, once."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"I don't know," Terry admits, "We do what we can. It's never enough, but it's better to do than to do nothing. At the end of the day, all we can hope is that what we do can inspire other people to do it in their own way and reach others." He strokes Gar's hair now, settling into a slow, soothing pattern of movement. For a moment the room is quiet, with only the steady rush of the AC to fill the silence. It's an old unit, and when it first starts it sounds like Terry's apartment is a DC10 ready for takeoff, but after awhile it settles into a more manageable background noise. He smiles a little at the picture.

"You were Tyler once..." it's an invitation to continue. Of course, Terry knows about Gar's life- what is publicly known, at least. He hasn't pried into what may not be public, because he always figured he would know when, and if, it was time for him to know it.

Gar Logan has posed:
"I guess it's better than nothing, but..yeah." Gar is known, by some, to want to be able to make things better for everybody. It's always an uphill battle, but one that ca see victory claimed one smile at a time.

He explains, "I can turn into any animal I want, but sometimes it feels like we're the worst animals around with the ways we treat each other so poorly. Not everybody, but there are some really, really bad people around. I want to be angry at the guy who shot Tyler, but what if he joined a gang because he didn't see any other way to go? I mean, he did a bad thing, but how much of it is his fault that he ended up there?" Gar is trying to see beyond the obvious, difficult as it is.

"I could see that side, too. You know about the virus that almost killed me, sakutia. I barely survived, but the stuff they had to try is what left me all green. Then a bunch of stuff happened and someone tried to have me killed, and I was still just a kid and I got stuck doing crimes for a little while for these two really bad people who ended up killing each other in a fight. That's how I ended up where I did."

And then /Nicholas Galtry/ tried to get him killed, too! "I'm just glad I never really hurt anybody during all of that. I knew it was wrong, but I didn't know what to do." Much of this stuff has not gotten out to the public, really.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
It's a good thing Terry isn't in feline form, because his claws could have come out without him thinking about it when Gar recounts his tale. He has to take a couple of breaths to fight against the flash of anger that hits him when the mental image of a young Gar being exploited by a bunch of criminals, no doubt who sought to profit off his unique abilities. A couple of breaths, and then he hugs Gar a little tighter for a few seconds before he can speak, the flush of anger fading off his cheeks.

"I admire that, Gar. The fac that you want to be angry but you don't just go there, you ask questions... almost like a journalist." He smiles a little. "Some people are rotten to the core, other people are extremely good, and a lot of us fall somewhere in between and we go back and forth on our good and bad days. I ... I like that you pay attention to that."

He spends a few silent moments stroking Gar's hair before he adds "Thank you for sharing that. I didn't know about it. It must have been so hard..." some pieces were falling into the puzzle- a past that seemed even more tragic than was publicly known. And yet the green teen could still smile. What's more, he wanted to make things right for everybody. Terry thought of the days when he felt at his absolute worst and was short and snippy, and felt somewhat embarrassed about the reasons for his mood- he had grown up in a loving household, and even though his father was out of the picture, he had gone before Terry was born and thus his absence was more of an unanswered question than the weight of loss experienced.

Gar Logan has posed:
Gar Logan can feel the tension there, even if it's subtle and nearly imperceptible. Maybe it comes through in the strengthening of the hug, but the way he's sitting keeps him from seeing the look in Terry's face. "I didn't hurt anybody. At least not, you know, physically. But the stuff I took..it probably hurt some people in other ways. I hope not too much."

A good minute goes by as he just inhales and lets it out, evenly, steadily, then he explains, "I get angry. It'd be so easy to just turn into a tiger and maul a bad guy, but I know that's not okay. I know what I don't want to become, and when I start getting stuff like that in my head I think about how you'd probably react, and Nightwing, and Donna, and Vic or Cait or Kori. I dunno about Raven. She might think it was okay. Maybe the new Robin, too." He clears his throat. "And I know I'd be letting down my parents if they knew I did something like that."

He's trying to bring it back around, now. "So..I guess that's why I wanted to do the wishes, so I could do something others will remember. It's not as easy as you'd think it is, going to see kids and you don't know if you'll get to talk to them again or not." There's evidence he's trying to keep it together, a quick wipe near the eyes, a sniff.

"So, maybe I can just be quiet for a bit and listen to you? We haven't had the chance to talk lately about you and your, ah, cat side and all that. And where it's from. I mean I know the story, but.." He gestures with a hand, not able to find the words to describe what's on his mind.

Not so fast. "Oh, by the way, I'd have asked you or Lois or even April to do the interview outside the hospital, but they like having one of their people there for their press. If Tyler and his family get to come to the Tower, you can do a story on it."

/Now/ it's his time to shut up.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
Terry smiles. "Always putting other people first, mister Logan," he says quietly, and then he says "My cat side isn't as important right now. Remember what I said? About how here it being all about how you feel? Well, you've been listening today. But now I see you hiding 'cause you think I didn't see that." His finger brushes close to Gar's cheek, where he wiped away the tear.

"I can tell you about the cat. But right now I'm listening to you..." he raises his eyebrows a little, "You don't need to be afraid of ruining my shirt by crying or something." He gestures to his tank top, "I've spilled mustard on this like, a million times."

Gar Logan has posed:
"What if I said I wanted to know more? If you want me to keep talking about me and how I feel, I.." There is a pause as the spot near the tear is addressed by Terry's finger, and he tilts his head just enough to catch a glimpse of his face out of one eye. "I just said enough for now, that's all. It's not all about me. I know you've been through some stuff, too."

Gar insists, "I'm not crying, but I can smell the mustard, dude. I'd have thrown that out a long time ago."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Hush, you, if I throw it out then what will I use as my offical sandwich shirt?" Terry teases, and then he says "Okay, you win. I can't say no to you," he says, running a hand through Gar's hair, "Goodness knows I've tried," he jokes.

He shifts a little so that he can hold Gar better, encouraging the green guy to rest his head on his chest. "It's weird. I'm not gonna lie. It's me, but it's also a me that remembers being me before I was born. Like being the Cheshire cat is a mantle, but a mantle that is alive? I don't know. When I turn into Vorpal, there's this /shift/ that happens in me. And there's a part of me I don't... really look in the eye. It's kind of at the edge of my awareness, but sometimes it gets closer when I'm in danger or under stress. When I tell you what I remember about Wonderland, it's filtered through a lens of sanity..."

Terry's hand moves across Gar's chest, tracing lazy lines as he muses, "Wonderland is kind of insa- no, insanity is being irrational while having a framework of comparison by which you can measure something as rational or irrational. Wonderland is Unsane because it has nothing against which to compare itself within its boundaries... and I guess I've been holding back on trying to see what /else/ I can do outside of Rabbit Holes because..." he exhales a little, "Maybe I'm a little afraid of touching too much upon it."

Gar Logan has posed:
Gar Logan points out, "That sounds to me like you're saying I haven't earned something better than your mustard sandwich shirt. You're lucky Kori isn't here right now to clean your fridge out." He allows his eyes to drift shut at the hand through green hair. "Haven't tried very hard."

Then, it's his turn to listen, shifting in place just so. He listens rather intently for someone who looks like he's trying to be at peace with things, an eye opening partially at the hand that settles over the uniform material. "The story was already kind of strange, like something that came out of a really severe trip if you know what I mean. I still don't really understand how that all works, like you having two different sides, but I guess it's like someone with split personalities?" he hypothesizes, adding, "Except, like, /really/ split because it's two different entities. There were a couple times before all this where I thought you looked different for a second, but I thought it was just my eyes playing tricks on me.

An arm dangles off the side of the couch, the one on the inside resting against Terry's leg. He props a leg up of his own, the other remaining flat. "Just that moment or two I was in your head..I don't know how you handle it."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Well, the scary thing is that it's slowly starting to become just me. Just... different parts. It's not so much split personality as split paradigm. That sounds confusing..."

Lookingn down at Gar, he smirks. "You do deserve better than my mustard sandwich shirt." With a little wiggling and pulling, he pulls off his tank top and drops it by the side of the couch, and then settles back in with Gar, shirtless. "Better?"

He lets Gar settle back on his chest and he resumes stroking his hair. When Gar admits to him looking different, he pauses for a second, and then says "... at times, I've /felt/ different... but if it serves any consolation, I think you ground me. If you guys weren't around when I transformed... I don't know where I'd be, honestly. But you specially. I know it sounds really strange when I say that my green, shape-shifting crime-fighting boyfriend grounds me to reality, but it's true. If you weren't around, I think the pull of staying Cheshire full time would be too great... and I get the feeling I'd start losing touch with reality real quick..."

Gar Logan has posed:
Before Gar answers, the top is off. "Is that supposed to help me concentrate better?" he asks, attempting an innocent expression. "So you're telling me you're kind of blending together as one, sort of?"

He muses, "If I spend too much time as an animal, when I come back out of it sometimes certain things can take a little while to go away, like some kinds of instincts or a few visible things. I wonder if it's like that for you."

The green one is back to listening and settling in more comfortably, enjoying the focus on his hair - who doesn't like that sort of thing? "Like, you think you need someone around to keep you balanced, so you don't just spend all your time as the Cheshire guy?"

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Yeah, you can concentrate on my chest. Go ahead. I'll take it as a compliment," he smirks, and then ponders Gar's words. "It's sorta like you say... But it's kind of like you and the tiger... I sometimes stop myself because I think about how you'd react if I started to lose touch with things... let's just say that I get inklings of how far I could go. The reason Harley and I get along so well is because she knows madness. She was taken by it. I know where /that/ kind of world lives, I know there's a door that opens right to it. It's how I get glimpses of her inside the funhouse whirlwind."

He pauses, "It's tempting. Cutting and runnin off to live by your own law. You can do that in Wonderland, because there reality is malleable. Here?" He shakes his head. "And that's the tightrope I need to learn to walk as Vorpal. If I spend too long as him, I start getting ... well, you've seen me. Buuut... It tends to be a lot more chill when I'm with you."

He shrugs. And then, playfully leans over to lap at Gar's nose, the way he had done it earlier to him, "Oh, let's be mushy to encapsulate it... I've got the perfect line, even: When you are around, you soothe the madness in me." Terry winks.

Gar Logan has posed:
"I'll do that," Gar murmurs, while internally seeking to work out what similarities and differences their abilities may include. "I never thought I'd say a crazy person could be a good influence, but maybe there's something to you getting help from her after all. I'm still gonna keep a close eye on you to make sure you don't start looking like a clown, though," he stresses, and it's not immediately clear whether he's being fully serious or just goofing.

He admits, "It's harder to work on controlling things, but that's why we're different from animals who just go on instinct. When I'm one, I can feel that side, but I still have /this/ side of me in there, so I can stay focused. It sounds like you're doing the same kind of thing."

Gar's nose wrinkles from the stealth lick, leaving him to rub at it for a few seconds. "You are /such/ a dork," he declares, rolling to his feet and stretching away from Terry...intentionally. "You're always gonna be mad, somehow. Now let's get something to eat, and I need to change. I'm glad I left a few spare sets of clothes here. Later on, once that Make-A-Wish story is up, I'll post something. I think you'll like it."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Hey, I was getting comfy here!" Terry says, visibly disappointed at Gar rolling off him. As he gets up, he does so with a slightly theatrical sigh. "Fine. Fine. Let's go feed you, but you still owe me several hours of cuddling and I intend to cash in. Let's go get you changed and we can hit Giorgio's before the dinner rush."

The redhead leads Gar to the bedroom where the spare clothes are stashed.