2568/You've Got Mail

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You've Got Mail
Date of Scene: 22 July 2020
Location: Chinatown
Synopsis: Spider-Man gets some mail via Kitsune Ninja Mail Service.
Cast of Characters: Peter Parker, Chizue Nakamura




Peter Parker has posed:
On the street again. Above the street, but in the spiritual sense...

Spider-Man was taking his lunchtime break in Chinatown. His usual hangout, the Golden Dragon, had set aside a little spot on the roof where Spider-Man could settle in, have a quiet meal, and then get back to the patrolling.
He had been laid up for a week, and he was itching to get back into it. Get back to bargain-basement heroing. The thought made him smile.

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    It's like the air pressure changes, subtle but present. There is no noise to herald his coming, but there is a steady chill breeze which blows brilliant pink cherry blossom's foreward from seemingly thin air. Standing where a second ago there was none, is everyone's favorite letter carrier. Clad in stark white armor over a brilliant red Kimono, swords sheathed at his hip he's at first glance every bit what you'd expect from a samurai. Except for the assault rifle slung over his shoulder, and the magazine pouches of course.

    His face hidden behind a brilliant white Kitsune mask, accentuated with little bits of stark red at the eartips and whiskers. It's pass as theatre there, if not for the tail or the paws where feet ought to be. "You have any idea how much sugar is in that junk dude, I mean it can't be good for you. You need carbs, and sodium and theanine if you're going to keep your head in the game."Spoken just as casually as can be, as he takes a single step foreward. Arms crossed as he glances over his shoulder towards the skyline for a moment"Anyway hey, sorry to be all business but you're the Hero known as Spider-man. Valiant defender of the innocent, Honorable savior of New York and Ally of the Kunoichi known as Owari correct? I mean the threads sort've give it away, but it's important to be sure you know?"

Peter Parker has posed:
Spider-Man is startled, especially because of the whole ninja thing. He's still not picking up anything other than imminent threats, and this guy, whoever he is, is not a threat, in spite of the assault rifle.

He DOES nearly spill the carton of orange chicken, but swiftly catches it before it hits the street thirty feet below.

"Jeez...!" He eyes the new person with some confusion. He's never met this one before. He didn't think he'd ever meet any of them, other than Owari.
"Well...yes. Yes, I am Spider-Man, and I am grateful that you respect the Hyphen. And who might you be, He of the Noise-Canceling Skechers?

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    He snaps off a curt little bow, before adopting a decidedly more casual little slump. "I am the Eighth Kitsune, divine messenger of The Goddess Inari and honorable servant of the Divine Court of the East."He lets all that hang out there for a moment. "I'm a Shinobi same as Owari, just different clan and -very- different job you know dude? She's all about that sword play stuff, fighty little thing isn't she?"

    He reaches aside, drawing a messenger bag decorated with adorable cutesy foxes from seemingly thin air and throws the strap over. "Anyway bro I've got mail for you, I'd have brought it sooner but things have been -wild-. I mean I wasn't even sure Owari was still gonna be in the states by now, lucky for you I suppose."And with that he pulls free the flap and starts leafing through stacks of parchment.

Peter Parker has posed:
Spidey opens his mouth to ask about why this couldn't be done over text, or email, or even vidcall. She did have access to Spider-Comm...

But then he reconsiders. Maybe there is a level of security with this method lacking in those others. Maybe it's a matter of ceremony, where a text or email is not up to the significance of the message. Heck, for all he knew, it was a job for certain type willing to follow the code but while staying off the front lines.

As he waits, he says, "She's been teaching me a lot, actually. I'm nowhere near you guys in terms of training, but I'm picking it up pretty quickly. I've even been adapting certain katas to work with my own special gifts."

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    "Leave it to a Raccoon dog to teach a Spider how to fight."And with that he plucks a stack of letters free, no joke like fifty letters tied into a bundle with bright red string. "After the first like fourty years or so dude, it's not too bad. Those first few years are just nuts, like when Owari got sent over here with as young as she is?"Theres a snort there as he hands over that weighty stack of letters. "I mean we all figured it was a suicide mission, and now with Lady Centipede coming over here after her?"

    The letters are all written in English, which is handy. There are fliers for divine magical charms, another for mystical pizza delivery, one for VHS video rental of all things. Then theres stacks and stacks of children's artwork, and survey letter from the Haga clan asking about the quality of ninja services offered? It's mystical junk mail alright. "Oh those drawings are just from the big Inari shrine in Tokyo, I don't have as much time as I'd like already. Not enough of us Foxes to hit every shrine every day, so I'm sure we're missing heaps of them."

Peter Parker has posed:
Spider-Man goes through the letters, putting the carton of orange chicken to one side. "Want some beef chow mein while I go through this stuff? I got plenty, and it seems rube not to offer..."

It all seems odd, but there are a surprising amount of letters he does not toss. Fliers, the VHS flyer, and especially the artwork. He puts these aside for later perusal. "Has Owari told you about the currrent issue we're dealing with here, involving the ancient sorcerer?"

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    "Oh no thankyou, but I appreciate the offer. I get tips in food normally to start with, so legit bro I am stuffed to the gills over here. I've got some Inarizushi if you want it though, good for the spirit you know?"Hachi sets that Messenger bag aside, only for it to simply fade right out of existance. Instead he takes a seat on thin air, fiddling with his swords a moment to get properly comfortable.

    "So she's dealing with an ancient Sorcerer -and- Lady Centipede at the same time, goodness she's a busy little thing."Before waving a hand back towards Peter. "She doesn't tell me much, but I don't see her very often. I mean Owari is a fighter, Kitsune don't do that so much you know? I don't usually have to fight unless I want to, and I'm a lover not a fighter. Most of us are, you know?"

Peter Parker has posed:
Spider-Man smiles sadly. "It's kinda not *her* problem as it is *my* problem she is helping with if she can. Did you want to know the brief details, or would I just be boring you?" He sounds almost apologetic.

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    "Oh no no, please do tell me. I'm the ears of Inari, and she -loves- a good story. So please, lay it on me brother."Hachi goes so far as to pluck a little notepad and pen from a pocket behind his chestplate, before turning his full attention onto Peter. "Secret to dealing with Ninja just in general? The good guy Ninjas all love stories, because we're spies first and fighters second."

Peter Parker has posed:
Spider-Man chuckles.

"This starts 12,000 years ago. The Hyborian Age. Between the sinking of Atlantis and the beginning of recorded history as we know it. An age of high adventure, swords, sorcery, and conflict. And I have this on good authority...because one of the notable people living during this age inhabits the body of my girlfriend. A swordswoman named Red Sonja."

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    "Dude my boss is like, legit at least nine hundred and he's not even the oldest one."Scribble scribble "Oh man Reincarnation is always such a nightmare, and like ok so my buddy is like six hundred something or whatever right? He's been going with the -same- mortal girl, who just keeps reincarnating. Then it gets into this whole thing though, where like she's holding shit over him that happened like four hundred years ago."And a little bleh at that. "Or like if theres a posession angle, like when is it cheating right?"

Peter Parker has posed:
"It's something like possession, but not really. They share the body. Sonja made some...physical improvements to my girlfriend, but they are on good terms with each other."
He sighs. "The problem is, we believe Red Sonja has returned because one of her greatest enemies has also returned. Kulan Gath, a sorcerer of the blackest magics there are. We even believe he serves an alien creature, one of the Old Ones. Shuma-Gorath, 'He Who Lies Sleeping.' And last month, we foiled what turned out to be a major summoning...but we need help. Owari has offered her help, but chose not to pull her clan into it, as far as I know. And it would be unfair to, since they have their own problems right now."

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    Mask or not, the look is easy enough to communicate with a tilt of the head. "Woah woah woah, bro no. Back up, you can't tell me this manifestation has "Physical improvements" and leave it at that. What are we talking about here, you feel me? Does she get more beautiful, or stronger or both or.."

    "Well no she didn't pull her clan into it because they'd lose their minds if they heard what she's doing, I mean Owari is my friend I'm not gonna Narc yeah?"And he makes a point of setting that pen down. "If they had any idea half of what she's getting into out here, they would have her ass for it. She's supposed to be killing enemy ninja, and nothing else really. Not teaching American Heroes secret Ninja techniques, not helping you fight Kulan Gath is running and certainly not playing hero. Clan fucked up sending her over here straight up, this is the problem with all the Haga genetic tampering yeah? The First generation of the Haga who had all this work done are in charge now, and they just can not understand how the like Generation four or five Haga think."

Peter Parker has posed:
Spider-Man smiles, and Hachi can tell that smile even through the mask. He's gone. Totally smitten.
"She was always beautiful. Now, she's beautiful with roughly 50 pounds of added muscle. She looks like an MMA fighter now. Might turn off some of the fashion people, but her face hasn't changed at all."

Then he collects himself, growing less wistful and more serious.
"Well...don't blow it for Owari, okay? I don't want her to get in trouble because of me."

The genetic tampering bugs (ha-ha) him, but what can he do about it? Damage is done, and the best he can do is deal with it.
"But I hope Owari knows that she has my help if she needs it."

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    "Oh no, I get the muscle thing. You should see my ex, really. Anyway So Red Sonja is fighting Kulan Gath, so why do you need a Ninja for that? I mean She's Haga so she's got no magic, despite the reputation of her genetic donors. You want like, The Black Cat or one of the Iga or Koga Ninjas I would think."And a pause as he considers, tapping at that mask for a moment. "Or is it just a case of like, one of those things where the Magic guy doesn't have any power over somebody who's -so- unmagical?"

    "As for Owari, I mean she dated my sister for -years-. Only reason they split was for this, so I mean no hard feelings. Ninja life and all that, It'd make -us- look bad by association if Owari got busted for playing Hero in the US."

Peter Parker has posed:
Spider-Man picks up his orange chicken again, but just looks at it.

"Frankly, I think I need all the help I can get. I'm not Superman, or Iron Man, or Thor. I'm a working-class superhero with a small budget. Ask me about science, I'll bend your ear all day, but when it comes to magic I'm useless."

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    "Well you've got a pretty gnarly combat Ninja on your side, so it's not too bad. Magic is just a different kind of science anyway, but not everyone has the natural aptitude. Kitsune like me, we're more magic than flesh. A Fox shaped thing in human disguise more than anything, and let me tell you it's not any better it's just different kinds of suck. I mean yes I can summon tea from thin air, but you have any idea what my body parts go for on the black market?"Theres a dismissive little wave there. "We used to never carry arms or armor, not so much as a pen knife."

Peter Parker has posed:
Spider-Man nods. "If you see her before I do...tell her 'Thank You' for me? She might know how grateful I am, but there's a difference between feeling it and having it...well, RECOGNIZED, you know?"

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    "She's a Tanuki at the end of the day, Spider-man. Give her cheap sake and someplace safe to drink it, and you've made her day. Ninja are rarely so complicated and emotional, so don't get too worked up over it."And with that the Mail-fox rises with a stretch. "Anyway I've got to get going, if you have any messages to send then drop them at your local Inari Shrine. Pro tip there, Inari loves her some baseball. So you wanna make sure we pick up the letter in short order, bring baseball cards or unused tickets. She's into that sort of stuff."

Peter Parker has posed:
Spidey blinks. "Really?" He looks thoughtful for a moment. "You think a Greg Maddux signed baseball would be good?"

Chizue Nakamura has posed:
    "Probably too much, unless you're sending something big."Hachi just gives a shrug at that. "Anyway I've got to get back to work, My boss finds out I was slacking I'll never hear the end of it for the next five hundred years. Be safe, alright?"And with that and a curt bow...poof. Just, right into thin air. Gone.