2681/A Simple Misunderstanding

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A Simple Misunderstanding
Date of Scene: 29 July 2020
Location: Penthouse - Kord Co
Synopsis: Ted Kord is visited by a social media super-fan. Vic Sage does yoga and gets a bloody nose for his trouble. Booster Gold sears everyone's eyeballs showing off an exciting new superhero-wear product.
Cast of Characters: Ted Kord, Booster Gold, Vic Sage




Ted Kord has posed:
Bordeaux Porterhouse is something of a joke on the Huzzah Network. The young star was known to have looked up when a prankster yelled, "Look a dead bird!" The prankster made 10 grand on that bet. Other rumors followed. She stared at the frozen orange juice mix container because the label said 'concentrate'. What was Bordeaux doing in the library? She got lost. She threw out half her M&Ms because they were defective and said 'W'. Bordeaux for her part just laughed in her tweetergrames and Youspace and continued her string of endorsements and stayed slim, hot, and wealthy. Not so dumb.

One skill no one would deny, was that she was the best gatecrasher since the Greeks' Wooden Horse.

So without fanfare or accolades she finds herself standing nervously in Ted Kord's private elevator, bottle of wine in hand. She never crashed a superhero's base or nest or whatever!

The doors open, "Oh hai!!"

Booster Gold has posed:
"Ted, I'm /telling/ you, these tactical trunks are going to be a game-changer for the supers market. Heck, for that matter, the military-industrial complex! How could you possibly want to kill the R&D for this product line?" Booster Gold struts around Kord's penthouse, deep-lunging, to show off a pair of Blue Beetle-branded short shorts. "Just look at the range of movement here! Skeets, make sure you're getting the high-def footage!"

<<Please kill me,>> Skeets says dejectedly.

Both freeze before turning slowly to acknowledge the unexpected arrival. "Oh, hi ... yourself," Booster responds mid-lunge.

Vic Sage has posed:
Vic is no stranger to short shorts, and in fact is wearing a pair of them now, however they are not the 'Blue Beetle' branded ones that Booster is wearing, just some plain old boring white ones. What he is doing in them however shows off a range of motion that Booster might be trying to market. Twisted up like a pretzel with his feet up and touching behind the back of his head as he balances his bodyweight on the tips of his fingers, Vic doesn't even open his eyes as the elevator doors open, the only thing that moves are his lips as he quietly mutters out the words, "Company, Ted. Unexpected."

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord for his part is wearing sweat pants and actually as little sweaty having just finished his parkour work out. He jumps at the warning from Vic. No not an attack. Attackers don't bring wine. How she got past security is the burning question. Painted toenails, open shoes with four inch heels to match the length of the skirt, halter top thrown on (that almost missed the mark), halter top that almost missed the mark (he liked it and looked again), floofy hair, what look like expensive Spider Jerusalem style asymmetrical sunglasses. Expertly applied make up. Oh no. "Hello Bordeaux... what brings you here?"

Bordeaux seems a little puzzled. "I brought you ga... guys a bottle of wine to say, thankyew (pronounced in a honeyed little squeaky voice) for the rescue and beating on those icky criminals and I wanted to make sure I didn't break your toy robot. Oh there she is... hello Skeeter, you wanna guess my weight or something mathe-magical?" She gives Skeets a kiss on the sensor port.

Booster Gold has posed:
"Please, /please/," Booster interjects, stepping up toward Bordeaux. "You don't have to address the robotic help. How are you? You may remember we met the other day. I'm Ted Kord's faithful manservant ... Guy Gardner, Green Lantern."

He turns to stare at Vic Sage, giving a look that says 'don't say a damn thing'.

Vic Sage has posed:
Keeping his eyes closed Vic just arches a brow as Booster calls himself Guy. He doesn't know this Bordeaux but whomever she is, she must be bad if Booster if claiming to be Guy of all people. Curiosity getting the best of him, he peeks an eye open to look over towards this guest of theirs.

Ted Kord has posed:
Bordeaux watches as Blue Battler looks at his friends, himself, and her and makes a face like she does when higher math is involved. Like numbers over a hundred? Whatever! When Ted comes to get the bottle of wine. He gives Booster a slap in the head. "This is Booster Gold. Guy Gardner is not allowed here unless accompanied by an adult Green Lantern and even then... he better be muzzled. Thank y..." and he has Bordeaux on his face again, braving his sweat for a very affectionate smooch. Is there a word for Stockholm Syndrome? Only Ted was her rescuer. Lucky him. It could have been Booster if he got lucky and say got shot.

Eventually his taste of Bordeaux ends.

"Ahuh! Uh thank you, absolutely unnecessary of you, it was a grand gesture!"

Bordeaux makes a dismissive gesture, "Nah it didn't even set me back a hundred Theodore. But you're sweet to think so!" She steps out of the elevator and peers around, "Oh a pool! I'm getting a pool in my penthouse but they haven't started digging yet. Excuse me a second." She traipses outside.

Ted glares at Booster, "This misunderstanding is on you! You and your hair products and tactical shorts. You better straighten her out, because if you think I'm taking you to her streaming par... gee let me open this bottle!" Ted turns to flee.

Booster Gold has posed:
Chuckling nervously as Ted reveals his charade, Booster Gold shrugs. "Is /that/ what my name is? Oh well, my mistake." He muses on a thought for a moment.

"Tell me, Miss Porterhouse. What do /you/ think of these highly adaptable skintanium mobility facilitators?" Booster does a few stretches, none of which is as flexible as Vic's yoga behind him, but all of which highlight the Beetle logo on each of the shorts' cheeks. "Do they effectively show off my thunder?"

Vic Sage has posed:
"Yes, Booster," the sometimes faceless one says, "They certainly call attention that you're an ass. If you continue to make an ass out of yourself, you are certainly going to find someone who is going to ride you...to paraphrase Bruce Lee."

Shaking his head, Vic pushes off from his fingertips, inverts into a handstand, and then arches over so that his feet are solidly on the ground while his head is between his legs in a pose that would break a lesser man's back. "You'll have to excuse him. I honestly don't think he can help himself."

Ted Kord has posed:
Bordeaux has run out to the pool, in heels no less. Sadly there is a very feminine yelp and a splash and she comes back in soaking wet. He does a hairshake/toss and says, "You need a friction tile border out there, Theo. This is on you. Could you be a dear and point me at some clothes?

Ted looks up from opening the bottle. "Yeeeeahhh, third door on the left? Help yourself. As she pads away, shoes in her hands, the engineer upends the bottle and takes a long pull from it.

Bordeaux gives Vic a wide berth then plants a healthy slap on Booster's butt. Then she's off. "What the hell?" He pours more wine out for himself. "What the actual Hell?"

Booster Gold has posed:
"That /stings/," Booster whines, rubbing his glutes. "I tell you, Ted, these are some deep social media waters you just can't handle. Oh, and by the way, what is this I hear about a /streaming party/? Am I some sort of /joke/ to you?" he asks, hands on his hips.

Skeets turns toward Ted, and then to Vic, and then back to Booster. <<Don't make me be the one to answer that, sir.>>

Booster's agape for a moment and then he grits his teeth. "Fine, then. We'll see if anyone /else/ is willing to endorse these high-quality intimate outer-underwear garments!" He stomps off angrily, grumbling about changing clothes. Tugging open the third door to the left, Booster disappears--and then there's an ear-splitting shriek.

"Oh god!" he can be heard shouting. "It's not--why are you in here?! Turn off that phone! Are ... are you streaming right /now/?"

Vic Sage has posed:
Vic pulls himself into a standing position and sighs, glancing over towards the suspect door. He looks over towards Ted, then Skeets, "Do I even want to know what is going on behind that door?" He is the Question, of course he does. The sometimes reporter makes his way over towards the door and opens it, peering inside the chambers. "Everything alright in here? I'm not going to need a mindwipe after this am I?"

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord notes he's almost depleted the bottle of wine. "Leave them alone, Vic! Maybe they'll father a new race 'a media platforms. Hey c'mere you little asshole." Ted snags Skeets and cleans his sensor plate of the lipstick Bordeaux planted on it. he huffs on the little bot and gives it a final 20 proof cleaning. "Listen Sheets... we don't want Booster involved with Huzzah TV. They're a bunch of hyenas and the big mug wouldn't last a minute and... you ever say this and Ill turn you into a squirrel feeder... he's the best and truest friend I ever had. He's like a brother. I love the big doofus... what proof is this fucking wine... oh dear Lord..." He releases Skeets. Peers again at the bottle, noting the do not expose to flame warnings on the label.

Booster Gold has posed:
Bursting through the door he'd just gone into, Booster Gold tears across the penthouse, tactical trunks held strategically to cover his lil' boosters.

"Ted!" he cries. "Unleash your anonymization technology to protect my private honor! Sue the Internet!"

And then he dashes into the apartment he calls home.

After a moment, Skeets seems to sigh and then follows suit, closing the door behind him.

<<There, there,>> the robot says quietly.

Vic Sage has posed:
*CRACK*

That is the sound Vic's nose makes when Booster bursts through the door, slamming it right into Vic's face as the reporter was opening it to peek inside. Immediately Vic's hands move up to his nose, trying to contain the somewhat sticky red viscous fluid that has started to pour out of his nose. "FUDK," exclaims the vigilante as he tilts his head back while he tries not to get blood all over the floor of the penthouse. "Damn it Booster..." Vic yells nasally as he moves into the bathroom to grab a towel, "That was my nose!"

Ted Kord has posed:
Anonymization technology I choose you. Actually there are defenses preventing streaming video or transmitting video or picture files without an authorized IP. His identity might be public but proprietary tech stays secret. He makes sure it's engaged. One problem solved. As Bordeaux exits the room on the left, clad in a Blue Beetle Tunic and little else Ted rounds on her.

"What did you do to my partner! Never mind... you are going to erase those videos you took of him. Now. So help me Superman, I will put you over my knee if you don't and you can jail me, sue me whatever, but you ain't sitting down for a while!"

Bordeaux goes a little wide eyed at the tirade and says, "Certainly. I'm sorry I made your partner cry. I would like to make it up to you, please. I'm having a party as I said, please attend. It's in the Berkshires. I sent you an invite but you never responded... I bet Booster would like to go..." She steps forward, so he can watch her delete the file. "See, I can be nice. Obedient even. So will you enjoy my hospitality?"

Ted still hears Booster hollering. He rubs his eyes and says, "Sure... I'll be glad to bring Booster... you better be nice to him!"

Bordeaux crosses her heart, "I will make my followers his followers. Seriously, when I'm done they will trot him out for his own show... but let's just be friendly now." She leans her head against his chest.

Ted sighs. Bordeaux looks at him through long eyelashes... say, the water didn't mess up her makeup. "And please, bring Victor... I had no idea you guys were a throuple!"

Vic Sage has posed:
Vic Sage says, "We are not a throuple," Vic says with a roll of his eyes as he presses the no-longer-white towel to his nose as he continues to try and stop the bleeding. "I just mooch room and board here, and give the odd poker lesson."

Vic casts a glance over towards where Booster's room is, "He going to be ok, Ted? With as tight as those shorts were, I would think the exposure of his sausage and eggs would be just a minor inconvenience. Miniscule even. A tiny blip. Nothing to get all worked up over. Small potatoes. You know, an infinitesimal, little thing.""