3287/The Dumplings Are A Lie

The Dumplings Are A Lie
Date of Scene:	08 September 2020
Location:	Chinatown - Founder's Island
Synopsis:	Breakaway tuxes, Super sleuth huntresses and a hungry hungry architect
Cast of Characters:	Ted Kord, Joan Wright, Helena Bertinelli

---

Ted Kord has posed:
In a large silver gray limo two well dressed men sit watching a Chinese restaurant. One lights a cigarette and says, "Keep your eyes open. This Blue Battler guy is prolly going to try ta enter through the back way or a window or something. Capes don't do anything normal."

His associate produces a cigarette and bums a light, "I thought the Bat was keeping other freaks outta Gotham. Does he know about this guy?"

"How the fuck do I know? You think he tells me anything? The boss don't tell me anything and he likes me! Says I dress well."

"We gotta work for a mastermind with a dress code. I told you take Freeze's offer."

"I catch cold easy."

"Hey, subtle way in, hunh?" The second man points to the large and well lit Bug coming in for a landing in a parking lot. "Seriously, the Bat is cool with shit like this?"

Joan Wright has posed:
Joan is overall an easy person to please. LEGOs, coffee amongst barista cats, a random construction project, a tour of a building... Yeah, easy to please. Case in point, Ted had her at 'free dumplings' from the restaurant. Because that's the only way those dumplings could POSSIBLY taste better.

HOWEVER. She was already in Gotham for a consultation when she recieved the invite so there was no need for her to get a ride. She could just walk over. It was still daylight out after all. If it was dark later, then she'd call a cab or something.

While dressed reasonably nice with the buttoned shirt and pants, as she comes closer in view, there are a few items on her person to indicate she came from a building site. First off, there are the boots. Secondly, her pants have a lot of pockets, and it looks like she's using them all. Judging from the lack of purse, her wallet and phone is probably hidden in there somewhere. Her short hair is still tucked behind the ears. And saftey glasses are still resting on top of her head. The only thing she's really missing is the construction hat. Someone else probably took it. So, definitely a work lunch- or dinner she supposes. Depending on how long it takes to get the food.

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
In the shadows of a fire escape, the purple and black costumed Huntress has been camping out watching this new, popular restaurant, having tracked down a few leads that the Blue Beetle and Huntress herself left open. Why's this place so special? HMM. Not that she cares that much but it's sorta sticks at her that the restaurant or the block or the whole neighborhood could be sticking with MAFIA FELLAS, the people she hates with all the passion in her body. Is something mob related going on around here?

Huntress lifts her purple and black binoculars to her eyes to spy on the alleyway and the restaurant and the street. She eyes this suspicious Joan Wright person as she starts walking and comes closer into view. Who's that? HMM. Huntress can see over the restaurant and peer at people nearby but can't see everything, so she quickly eyes Joan and tries to size her up. Look at those dang pockets. HMM.

Ted Kord has posed:
"Now Alphonse."

"Now? He's got that big spider plane down the block."

"You scared of that dork?"

"More like he might have Batman's phone number... "

"Now!" Doors open and a well dressed man with a black bowler steps in front of Joan Wright, looking over a small card. "Joan Wright? Good evening Ms. Wright. I'm alphonse and the gentleman with the knife in your back is Gaston. We'll be your kidnappers this evening. Please get in the car and don't make us make holes in you. We have champagne, sparkling water and a nice Merlot you may have. But. Get. In. The. Car."

Joan might feel a slight poke in the region of her kidneys. Gaston leans forward and says, "Mind yer head... hey you look like the english actress plays what her name... Hermione Granger? Chick with the wand?" He opens the door and puts his other hand on top of Joan's head, shoving down.

Up the street the Blue Beetle has exited the Bug, wearing a blue tuxedo, though his hood and goggles are still in place. In one hand he bears a bouquet. "Joan! Oh Joan! It's meee!"

Joan Wright has posed:
Dumplings. Dumplings. Dumplings. Nothing like free dumpl-

Joan's forward motion stops as a man gets out of a car, stepping in her way. She starts to walk around before hearing her name. Turning to look curiously to the man, it does manage to distract her from the accomplice briefly. Except for the pokey thing. The smile that was on her face fades rather quickly.

DAMMIT.

Seriously, all she wanted was some dumplings. Is that too much to ask? And now she's being asked to get into a nice car with some not so nice, but oddly polite people?

Poke.

Oh yeah the knife. She grumbles, glancing in, but not getting in. That's probably a bad idea.

Hearing her name, she glances up, looking over to Beetle and his - Is THAT A TUX?!

"What on earth is he wearing?"

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Huntress leans forward and eyes this mysterious character with the bowler hat threatening Joan, "I /knew/ it. I'm the master detective," she mutters to herself confidentally as she watches Joan get abducted. "Yeah, look at that knife. I /knew/ this would happen. Perfect," she continues as she pans across to the others nearby and to The Man with the Hat. She can't see exactly who it is, but she figures she probably should know him. "I'm gonna kick that hat down your throat..."

She pauses and then glances up the street, as if wondering where all the superheroes are NOW, then spots the Blue Beetle, by half-accident. She stiffens her jaw, feeling an impending mood coming on, then sorta looks around for maybe a rock or pebble to peg him with. For warning purposes, of course. She doesn't have a bat-beeper for the Blue Beetle. She quickly uses the ladder to get down into the dark alley because it doesn't take a master detective to figure out what's coming next. Maybe she should run out there? Send a flare? Grab the Beetle in a headlock? Dang, hurry up Helena! Get down!

Ted Kord has posed:
Gaston pushes down on Joan's head and gives her a helping knee into the limo. Alphonse and Gaston both pile in as the Beetle, spearing him with the car's headlight.

Ted stops and throws the bouquet down then yanks at the front of his tuxedo pulling it off in a smooth motion and revealing it as a breakaway costume and standing revealed in... the Blue Beetle uniform. "Oh thank God I remembered the uniform this time. That hospital visit was a disaster! Hey! Hey! Frick and Frack! You won't get away with this! Justice will pre... oh mother flower!" The limo guns for him!

"Hey we need him to hand over the blaster!"

"His next of kin can handle it!!"

Joan Wright has posed:
WHOOP!

With the extra assistance Joan's entrance into the vehicle was a little less than graceful. Good thing she's wearing pants. As the other guys get into the vehicle, she scrambles over to the other side, getting into the seat as the sudden acceleration slams her into the seat. "FUDGE!"

She looks around for the seatbelt.

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Huntress RUNS down the alleyway to the sidewalk and reaches out for the Blue Beetle but he's by her like a darn mosquito, "Shit! Beetle!" she lets out and sighs.

She puts a hand on her hip. He runs off like he's The Flash or something and she figures this is not going to be very incognito after all. "Beetle! Come on," she lets out as she starts after him. She spots the limo moving now and runs faster, "Dammit!".

She can't even get his attention or organize this crap in order to save this woman's life. "Dang it! Beetle! Watch out!" she lets out again and grabs for him this time to pull him to safety.

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord oofs and falls to the side, banging his head on a mailbox, as the limo shoots by splashing him and the Huntress from a huge puddle. He was drawing his BB Gu but the unexpected grapple and fall throws off his aim. Reflexively he grabs his attacker around the waist and tries for a hip throw, winds up falling and rolling over him... no that's a her! A her? Batwo... Hun-tress! Lying on the vigilante, who could cause him untold injury, Ted notes she has the longest loveliest eyelashes.

Focus! A little Batman with a halo pops onto his shoulder and slaps him in the face. "Focus! Orrururururoraurau!" A little Booster with horns appears on the other shoulder and slaps Ted's face the other way. "Why the hell are /you/ hitting me?! Booster Devil glares and says, "You're a lucky SOB and I hate your primitive ass!" They both poof.

Ted looks down at Huntress and says, "Uh... oopsie? You do a lot of lifting?"

Joan Wright has posed:
Finding the seatbelt. Joan sits back and clicks it in place, setting her head back against the headrest. Her hand clenches upon the OS bar near the door during the whole trying to run over Blue Beetle thing.

As the ride starts to settle, she lowers her hand. "...Why am I here?"

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Huntress dances around with the Blue Beetle as the limo shoots past, then he rolls all over her. She puffs some dirt and water off her nose and looks annoyed, ie the usual mood. She reminds herself to seek out any recording devices of this incident later. She grabs his collar forcibly and shakes him, "You're welcome! Now get off! They're getting away!" she lets out energetically.

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord goggity goggities a moment and complies, rolling off.

"Sorry. Very sorry! Don't tell Bats. Sorry!" He lets out a whistle yet again. The Bug erupts from the parking lot. Chinese lanterns are scattered. The vehicle shoots over head and Beetle offers the Huntress a hand up looking contrite. "May I offer you a ride?"

In the car Gaston pours Joan a flute of wine. "You are being kidnapped for what we in the business call leverage. We want you to call Mr. Beetle and tell him he can have you back in one piece fer that blaster thing... or do nothing. He will still get you back but in... whaddya call them Alphonse?"

Alphonse chuckles, "Installments. He'll get her back in installments. I don't think she looks like Emma Watson either. She's cuter, if I may say so."

Gaston sage nods. "Installments. This your first kidnapping?"

Joan Wright has posed:
Joan looks to the wine being poured, and shakes her head when it's offered to her, "Ah...No thank you. I don't drink when I'm on the clock." She turns her head, looking to the window, "And I'm going to make sure every second of this is invoiced..." she murmurs.

She pauses, "Why do people like you have to ruin things I like? All I wanted to do was have a nice, peaceful work lunch. Couldn't you have done this after I ate?"

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Huntress frowns at him, "Keep it up!" she yells sarcastically. She grabs the Blue Beetle's hand and gets up, then runs past him with a SHOOSH of her cape. She RUNS toward the BEETLE SHIP as it too moves toward them, then glances over her shoulder at the Beetle again, "Stop talking and start moving!" she yells, then pointedly points at the traffic up the street.

"It's the mob. I had it figured. These guys are behind the whole gun thing and now they've taken some woman. They're probably torturing her right now. We've got to get there NOW," she tells Beetle with some helpful exposition, if he wasn't keeping up.

Ted Kord has posed:
Gaston opens a compartment: crackers, cheeses and caviar. He gestures to Joan. "So will you phone him so we can make our demands before or after a light snack?"

Onboard the Bug (thank you very much. It's called the Bug in the Blue Beetle Wiki entry FFS... ever since Ted edited it.) Ted is hanging back and watching a red dot on a monitor. He turns to Huntress and says, "I got a fix on them. They're heading to the warehouses near the docks. What is it? they get a break on rent for warehouses? I hope Joan is okay... every time I try to do something nice with her... shit comes down. It's really hard to meet singles in our line of work as it is... my last girlfriend... winds up marrying the cop who was trying to get me on a murder charge. P.S. I didn't do it. Never killed anyone in my life. Do you find it hard to meet... guys? Nah you wouldn't you're... so not me."

Joan Wright has posed:
As the compartnment is opened up to display the food, the Damage Control employee's expression doesn't change much. It's still not DUMPLINGS.

Joan's stomach gurgles. She glances down, frown deepening, "... Can I have a few crackers now?"

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Huntress has her hands on her hips and is staring at the monitor, maybe picturing what to do next to save this desperate woman's life, "These guys don't play games. She could be dead..." she mutters darkly. She frowns, thinking the worst.

Huntress leans forward and squints at the red dot on THE BUG'S monitor, completely ignoring what the Beetle is saying, then suddenly glances at him a moment later, "What? Hey look, I think we've got a fix on them. They're heading for the warehouses near the docks. I think maybe we should get the drop on them and--," she tells him with a complete focus on what's going on, until she finds him looking at her oddly "Sorry, did you say something?" she wonders.

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord shakes his head and looks away at several suddenly crucial readouts. "Nah, just reading off altitude. Yeah. I think you're right. Warehouse by the docks. I got the Bug in stealth mode. I can land nearby. Then you can call the shots." A phone chimes in and he puts it on speakers. "Yell-oooow, Blue Beetle here."

"Hello Mr. Bettle. I will be your kidnapper today. I require yer electric blaster. We got your associate here. Fork it over and she doesn't get hurt. You got one hour."

Ted looks over at Huntress, indicates where the position fix is now down to the nearest centimeter. The Bug glides over the warehouse and Huntress finds a hatch in the floor opening beside her and a line being lowered.

Ted says, "Right behind you, Huntress."

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Huntress puts a hand on her hip impatiently as the Beetle drives the Beetle in close but nods along as if expectantly waiting for the next move. She pads over to the hatch and looks down at the roof, "I do this better than Batgirl anyday," she says as she eyes the windowed tiles.

She then looks up as the evil mobsters come on the speaker phone, which causes her to flip out her crossbow and load it with a CLICK and a CLACK-ACK. "Tell that guy to go fork himself," she says. She slides down the line very quickly and then she's freefalling above the roof. Suddenly, she CRASHES through the ceiling glass, sending it everywhere very dramatically, and gets the literal drop on the mobsters. She points her crossbow at the first man who looks at her wrong, floating to the ground.

Joan Wright has posed:
Quite literally Gaston passes two crackers over. As she sees the phone being dialed, Joan tries to chew quietly. Not really sure what the proper decorum is for a kidnappee. It seems a lot more formal than one would think.

Oh hey! A wild Huntress appears! Joan brings up her arms to shield herself from the glass pieces falling in. Also to hide herself swallowing down the last piece of cracker that's in her throat.

It's probably a good thing she didn't take Gaston up on the offer of the other food as Gaston's still having to manage a glass of wine with the non-phone holding hand. Upholstery cleaning is expensive after all. Wine stains are probably even worse than blood sta- He sits still.

Alphonse, hearing the noise slams on the accelerator, speeding up the limo before slamming on the brakes.

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord watches Huntress go down the line, "I admire a woman who can shimmy down a line like that. Ah she busted in the glass for me. Considerate of her." He leaves the Bug hovering, holds his nose and dives down, one hand holding his line. "Holy Guacamole!" As the limo brakes to a stop before the Huntress a god dozen more thugs emerge from behind crates. They are dressed identically in black derbies, white high collar shirts, black suspenders and arm garters. Swinging clubs they charge.

Beetle boggles a little as he steps in and cold cocks the nearest minion. "Hey? Crooks got a dress code?"

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord says, "Oh the ER room is going to be busy tonight."

Joan Wright has posed:
A look of sheer terror forms upon Gaston's face at the horrible turn of events going on inside the limo. The sudden stop causing for the carefully poured glass of wine to slosh out of the glass hitting the interior. "DEAR GOD N-"

THUNK!

Gaston slides to the floor of the car as he smacks the partition.

Joan, who wore a seatbelt looks to the still figure in the back of the seat and quietly...ever so quietly, starts to unbuckle.

Alphonse, sits inside the car, starting to throw the limo in reverse. Hmm. Good luck with that.

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Huntress has landed in front of the limo and it skids to a stop in front of her very dramatically as she holds her crossbow at the windshield, "This is not wood, assholes!" she yells, "Get the ****** woman out, now!" she yells angrily at the evil car occupants.

She smirks as the limo starts to back-up, "Where do you think you're ****** going?" she asks. The evil minions pop out of their hiding places, "Nice," she mutters annoyedly. They charge at Huntress AND BEETLE, and two of the thugs grab at Huntress so she struggles with them.

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord grabs one of the guys on the Huntress and yeets him back by his collar. As another charges him from behind he turns revolves, holding onto the first man and using him as a shield to take the punch and the club to the head. Ted drops the first man and swings the second around by his suspenders, throwing him into a stack of crates. He looks over at the car and yells "Joan! Ms. Wright!" and charges after the reversing limo. "Come back with my agent!"

Joan Wright has posed:
As Alphonse starts to back up, he starts the process of making a 35 point turn.

Back.
Turn.
Forth.
Back.
Turn.
Forth.
Turn

Seeming more focused on what's going on outside he does not notice Joan unzipping one of her pockets, pulling out something square shaped, black, yellow, and with a hint of metal.

Back.
Turn.
Forth.
Back.
Turn.
Forth.

Joan shakes her head, slowly pulling out the metal measuring tape from the roll. Just need it long enough.
Back.
Turn.
Forth.
Back.
Turn.
Forth.

Joan leans back, kicking the partition with her steel toed boot. Causing for the tempered glass to shatter.

"Should have waited until after the meal!" Joan snaps, slinging the measuring tape around Alphonse's neck and pulling hard.

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Huntress kicks one of the thugs in the balls as the Beetle pulls the other off of her. As he doubles over in some rather obvious pain, she grabs him and plants his head into the bumper of the limo.

She hmmfs and straightens up, just in time to see another nameless thug leap over the hood at her Batman '66 style. She steps to the side and kicks him. She then narrows her eyes at the limo and stalks around to the side to open the driver side door but then suddenly a final thug grabs at her, and she twists herself to fling him back away from her at The Beetle. Hopefully he can finish him off, since he's such a good combatant. She turns to look back at the car with a dangerous smirk.

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord steps to the side and trips the goon who face plant into a pile of weird crates with question marks on them. "Gotham is flipping weird is what. You okay Huntr... I think he's surrendering... oh you don't want to do that... hey I don't think you ca... oh you can. Lady... you got issues." He shudders and looks away. He nudges a goon and shakes his head... Batman is going to want a report... forms... Hey Joan you okay!?" He runs over to the limo's door. He opens it and Gaston falls out.

Joan Wright has posed:
Joan is STILL pulling on the measuring tape as Alphonse ends up stopping the limo in order to focus on keeping the crazed woman from strangling him.

"Why do you guys have to ruin the things that I CAN'T fix?!" Joan shouts into the poor goon's ear.

Hearing her name she turns her head, looking to Beetle. She stops pulling on the tape but keeps it tight, keeping the baddie occupied. Her expression changes, giving a professional smile, "Oh hi -Beetle. Is everything done with out there?"

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Huntress smirks the whole time Beetle threatens her with a report to Batman and looks back at the car with him. She watches him fling open the car door and doesn't seem phased as Gaston flops out at her feet, onto her boots.

"Hey Joan," she mutters sarcastically, looking back and forth through the car. She examines Joan's handiwork and her lunch and the men she's served up, so to speak. "WE got em," she points out, thumbing to herself.

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord turns around to Huntress. "Yeah you were a big help." He thumbs towards himself. "Wait... aren't you supposed to like vanish or something... not that I'm complaining. We should absolute exchange like contact information of some such." He rubs the back of his head. Joan might sense she's off the hook, until Ted gets decked at least.

Joan Wright has posed:
Hearing the necessary answer, Joan's smile becomes slightly less forced. "Oh good!" She lets go of the measuring tape, hitting the release button that causes the metal tape to sling around wildly before snapping back into the little case. She slides it back into the open pocket on her leg, zipping it up.

She sits back for a moment, glancing towards Blue Beetle and then to Huntress before letting out a sigh of relief. "Can we go now?"

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Huntress folds her arms and smirks as the Beetle questions her presence, "I'm not overdramatic," she mutters about that Batman person. She then slips something out of her belt and gives it to Beetle.

"Here, use this and ping me next time @FuckDamnShit," she advises him, "Guess we don't need an ambulance but I'm sure the police will be here soon. I'll see ya later."