3327/An Internet Encounter

An Internet Encounter
Date of Scene:	11 September 2020
Location:	The Internet, perhaps you've heard of it?
Synopsis:	Donatello meets Ted Kord. Ted Kord meets duz_machines_84. To be continued?
Cast of Characters:	Donatello, Ted Kord

---

Donatello has posed:
    The Internet is a vast place -- in addition to being a giant, ethereal machine designed to sell you things -- it can also be used to connect people. People who might otherwise never interact with each other. Connecting to it is usually pretty easy -- flip the Wi-Fi on, tap the network, and you're in! For others, it might be a little bit different.

    For one person, connecting meant finding a way to patch into New York City's subterranean telecommunications hardware. Somewhere, deep below Brooklyn, a subcarrier cable's insulation was removed so that another connection could be made, all off the grid, so to speak. That person happens to be Donatello -- a mutant turtle seated in his sewer workshop. He types rapidly at a keyboard, though frequently backspaces to correct the typos associated with using large, turtle fingers on smaller, human-sized keys. He has a social media chatroom open and currently finds himself among other technology enthusiasts.

    <duz_machines_84> Anyone around? I'm working on something here with AI and could use a hand.

Ted Kord has posed:
While intelligence and talent can indeed be found anywhere, money and privilege is not so democratic. This user finds himself in his penthouse atop his company headquarters. To his credit, he cares more about his workers and the products of his own hands and seeks other minds such as his own. They are few.

Ted Kord reads the query in the chatroom hunhs and types

    <Real_Ted_K>I'm around, what do you want the AI to do exactly, duz_machines_84?

Donatello has posed:
    Donatello's subterranean setup might just be the complete opposite of Ted's company penthouse -- but on the Internet, they are equals. Just a series of binary digits in the data stream. A little jingle comes from Donatello's computer, alerting him to a reply. The young turtle smiles and gives a little push of his feet so he can roll his chair back over to the computer -- a fresh energy drink now in hand. He opens the can and dumps some of its contents into his mouth. A few cans have accumulated -- it's been a long few days.

    "Real Ted K?" Donnie mutters. He squints one eye, staring at the screen for a moment. "Seriously? Give me a break..." On the Internet, you could be anyone, but it would seem this person would like others to believe that they're Ted Kord.

    Nevertheless, Donnie types up and sends a reply:

    <duz_machines_84> Well, presently I'm trying to get a neural network to search the entire net for news articles containing keywords, but it's been having difficulty. Anything I try to exclude results in it favoring that keyword. It seems to like song lyrics.

    Donatello looks over at a crumbled piece of dot-matrix printer paper containing the lyrics to John Mayer's Your Body Is A Wonderland -- the result of asking the Miyagi AI to find articles about Vorpal's death, minus any mention of Wonderland.

Ted Kord has posed:
    <Real_Ted_K> AI is a slippery slope my friend. LOL. Okay sounds like you're trying to get your neural network to do heavy lifting from the word 'Go'. A more realistic approach is to set up your net and teach it what you want. It's basically assigning the wrong priorities to different topics and you have to tweak it till it learns what you want. Hang on <several lines of pertinent algorithms follow which we will spare the casual reader>

    Does your algorithm look like this?

Donatello has posed:
    Huh. Donatello watches the reply come in -- it's relevant, intelligent, and helpful. Did it really come from the Internet, the same place where cat memes are born? Giving the algorithm a look, the turtle takes a breath and types up a reply.

    <duz_machines_84> That all looks pretty good, but I'm using a tensor-based algorithm along with a reinforcement motivator. I ended up downloading wikipedia a few months ago and let it use that as training data. It seems like the motivational algorithm is reversed. It favors my exclusions instead of my actual requests. Or...It might be misclassifying the articles it finds. I can't be sure.

    <duz_machines_84> Maybe it would help to know the end-goal. I want this thing to analyze crime reports and be able to link reports together when they share some common qualities that might not normally be noticed.

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord drinks an... energy drink. He's building a pyramid. He pokes at the bandage on his head. Then he types earnestly.

    <Real_Ted_K>Oh my dude. Here use the algorithm CapeNewzz uses. It's cool, I own it. It's based on the navigation protocols I use for the Bug. I kept getting sucked into an intake in simulations when I wanted it to pick me up. Anyway you have to be very dilligent about priorities. The Bug had a nasty habit of plowing through bystanders and light aircraft as the least damaging barriers. It was right but...

    Anyway it flies better now. Hope this will help you. The CapeNewzz app uses this to find information in the news about superpowered people. It's a nice phone app if you haven't gotten it yet. I plan to upgrade it to show possible activity by evil networks like Cobra or A.I.M. next. Maybe ninjas too LOL. ^.^

Donatello has posed:
    Donatello rolls his eyes at that. CapeNewzz. The Bug. "He might have some good ideas here, but...This person really has a thing for Ted Kord," the turtle mutters, shaking his head. He empties the last of the energy drink into his mouth and sets the can nearby. Type type type.

    <duz_machines_84> That's nice of you, but I don't really think I want to pirate Ted Kord's algorithm. You might want to take that down or he might sue you or something.

    <duz_machines_84> Oh, and ninjas aren't real, dude.

Ted Kord has posed:
    <Real_Ted_K> Dude, it's my algorithm. I'm Ted Kord. Who would pose as Ted Kord when they can be Bruce Wayne? LOL. Please use the algorithm. Look at it this way, nobody is going to be able to hack Ted's system and steal it and if they did they'd sell the damn thing. I am the Beetle. LOL

Donatello has posed:
?
    Donatello frowns a touch. With a sigh, he begins forming a reply: *LOOK, I GET THAT YOU MIGHT REALLY LIKE TED KORD BUT*. He stops typing, reconsidering his message. Backspace, backspace, backspace. Delete, delete, delete. Donatello takes a breath. Why /would/ someone posing as Ted Kord happen to have his machine learning algorithm? Donnie brings a finger up to touch his chin -- a gesture of consideration. The turtle shrugs, still skeptical, and begins typing a new reply. He'll play along.

    <duz_machines_84> Okay, thanks. Maybe with Ted's algorithm, my AI can begin reading articles as soon as the humans post them.

    <enter>

    Ho no no no no! He wrote humans! Donatello stares at the screen in absolute horror. The turtle reaches forward and grabs his computer screen between his hands, as if to get it to come to its senses. It can't be undone. Suddenly, Donatello turns around to check if Splinter or, worse, Leonardo was around to see this. He's dead meat once they find out. He begins preparing his defense. He was tired and has been awake for days. Maybe it wouldn't even be noticed!

Ted Kord has posed:
Looks at the screen for a long moment. Then he types

    <Real_Ted_K> OK. You want proof? I'll give you proof!

"How the Hell am I...? Bwahaha!" Ted pulls off his robes to reveal his uniform and pulls the hood over his head. Pulling the goggles over his head bump gets a wince. He touches a control on his throat and lets out a loud whistle <Fweeeeeyooot!>


<Real_Ted_K> OK. Watch the Channel Six skyline cam on 66th and York. Give me five minutes.

Outside on the river the Bug erupts from the water. Ted gets a positively sinister look on his face.

And not quite five minutes later the Channel Six Skyline Cam is treated to a view of the Bug sliding sideways into view, the Blue Beetle, standing atop it holding a whiteboard. He quickly writes: d_m--I'm THE REAL TED KORD!

    <Real _Ted_K> I'm the real Ted Kord. Dork! :D

Donatello has posed:
@emit
    Hm. Donnie might be home free for this one. His admission might have gone unnoticed! Calming down, Donatello sits back down and releases his hold on the computer monitor. Turn on the Channel Six skyline cam. Okay, he can do that. Donatello gets out of his chair and passes through the Turtle Lair on the way to the television. The coast seems to be clear. He gives the remote a couple of taps and stares.

    "...Son of a..." he mutters, standing there, awestruck. There's a couple of moments of silence before he tosses the remote on the couch and runs back to his computer. Taptaptaptap.

    <duz_machines_84> Okay, so you're Ted Kord!

    Donatello sends the reply, purposely downplaying his reaction to this.

Ted Kord has posed:
Ted Kord reads the reply onboard the Bug and grins. "Bwahaha!"

     <Real_Ted_K> Bwahah...

Ted deletes that.

    <Real_Ted_K> Told you 8D

     <Real_Ted_K>That's my Beetle emoticon. It has goggles. 8) Listen use the algorithms with my blessing d_m. It was good texting with you but I see an armed robbery time to get busy. TTYL 8)

Donatello has posed:
    <duz_machines_84> Okay, Ted. Good luck.

    Donatello stares at the screen and then stands from his chair. He folds his arms across his chest and watches for any additional messages. This is an interesting development. He taps his finger against the muscle of his arm and then takes a deep breath. Maybe we won't tell the guys about this?