3959/Group Therapy

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Group Therapy
Date of Scene: 27 October 2020
Location: An office where the three 'accidentally' meet.
Synopsis: Dr Kat the television personality finds the wrong trio to try group therapy on. Chaos ensues.
Cast of Characters: Wade Wilson, Spiral, Harley Quinn




Wade Wilson has posed:
Spiral and Harley both get a text from Wade saying,

> Hey girls, come to this address, we'll do an indoor picnic with Godiva, chocolate Turtles, and your favorite sandwiches.

But of course, when they arrive, it's the 7th floor of a building in Manhattan. And the office they're told to go to has a doctor's name on the door.

When they open said door, Wade is sitting there wearing his full costume, except he has a blue sweater vest over it, a pair of silver-framed glasses, and has his hands folded in his lap.

The doctor sitting behind the desk of an older middle-aged woman, her hands her own hands folded on her desk. The first thing she says when the other two arrive is, "Welcome. My name is Doctor Kat, and I'll be helping you all work out your problems with each other."

Spiral has posed:
Spiral doesn't know what a Godiva is, and doesn't have a favourite sandwich. But chocolate turtles, they at least sound okay. And she's not been out for a while. Naturally, she doesn't walk there, she teleports - to a front desk. There's enough confusion, fear and general annoyance to make her fairly late, but eventually she teleports outside the door of 'Doctor Kats' office, and wanders in, opening the door with four arms like a giant humanoid squid pushing into a crevice in the cyclopean depths.

She pauses at the 'working out problems' part, and looks over to Wade in his ridiculous outfit. "Why do you have a sweater on?" she asks. And then, to Doctor Kat, "What problems?". And then she looks around, outside and down the stairs, before coming back in. "Where's Harley? Where are the chocolate turtles?".

Harley Quinn has posed:
Turns out that Harley DOES have a favorite sandwich, she has even shown it to Spiral before when she took her to eat out. And ooof, it does bring her some good memories. Ohh, yeaaaaa.

So she was eager to go, nothing like free food. Maybe booze too! Everyone could use some booze. Though when she gets to the address she lets out a 'heh'. A glance up to the tall building.

"Ok, maybe in the roof.." it does say 7th floor afterall.

So in she goes without much of a care. She goes by security, chewing on her bubble gum, casually bringing a small architect's case on he back. Inside? Her faithful baseball bat.

She almost runs into Spiral by the door when finally discovers the place and glances under one of her arms to peek at the scene. "Da fuck is this? And why is that bitch sittin' on my seat?" because there can be only one psychologist apparently.

It's a great way to start this!

Wade Wilson has posed:
"I didn't think I could get you into a group therapy session without offering free food." Wade admits, sitting with his legs crossed. When Spiral asks about his sweater, he tugs on the sides with his thumbs, and allows the fabric to snap back against him. "This is my therapy outfit."

Doctor Kat clears her throat, motioning to a seat for each of them. "Mr. Wilson tells me that he's afraid he's damaged his relationship with both of you by, and I quote, being an 'insecure, psychotic wreck of a human being'. What do you two feel about that?"

Spiral has posed:
Spiral puts her hands on her hips, not sitting down or anything, but as Doctor Kat is giving her an opportunity to talk on a subject currently dear to her heart, she actually plays along, at least for now. Who knows for how long.

"No, he's a two timing, deceiving blob of raisin-flesh. And he was making fun of my arms.".

She looks down at said arms, and manages to make herself angrier. One arm points at Wade, with a mind of its own as he's behind her but the arm seems to know where he is, and the other one at the doctor. Not Harley, the other one.

"As a fellow freak I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and assumed he was not mocking me. And he was all along.".

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley slides in besides Spiral, dusting her hands over her top and she still trying to understand well what the heck is going on. "Really? Couples therapy?" an hard eye roll of her eyes and she is looking at 'Doctor' Kat. "Ya do realize this gal heah has six arms, I am fuckin Hah'lee Quinn and this guy heah is a raisin'... And you ain't even battin' an eye? How much ya paid her, Wade?" She inquires.

"I have hit him twice in the nuts, not suwah theah's moouh to our relationship than that?" She asks.

A look to Wade. "How d'ya think ya damaged yoh relation ta me?" she then finger-gunning towards Spiral. "Unless ya talkin' about insultin' one o' my besties! That would do it!"

Wade Wilson has posed:
"I never made fun of you, I really like your arms! But I didn't think you were interested, so I never made a move!" Wade straightens his glasses, then flails his arms as he defends.

Doctor Kat, however, interjects, holding up a hand. "Listen, I get all kinds of outrageous mutant and metahuman cases all the time on my show, Doctor Kat's Therapy Power Hour, and Mr. Wilson is paying good money for my services. I'm number one in the 40-60 daytime TV demographic."

Wade nods a few times at that, then points at Harley. "//Naturally//, because I'm ugly, and she's got six arms, I thought, of course she'd never be interested in a guy like me. And she said how much you'd think I was cool, so I thought, okay, she's recommending me to her friend! But then you crushed my nuts twice, and then the tentacle horror entered my brain, one confusing thing lead to another..."

He throws his hands up. "Now //I//, Wade Wilson, a world saving superhero, am not sure how to get //either// girl! So I thought I'd use therapy to sort it out."

Spiral has posed:
Wait a minute. Spiral is being recorded? On a show with ratings???

She looks around like a hunted beast suddenly. "Wait. Is this a show? I am not baring my soul any more than it's already been bared on any power hours.". Her glowing eyes narrow as an experienced eye looks around for hidden cameras.

However, Spiral is easily distracted. "You actually crushed his nuts?" she asks Harley, as that little thing stood out there. Wade can humiliate himself in front of Mojo if he wants. "I thought he was joking. He jokes a lot. Like now. 'World saving'.". She giggles a bit.

Harley Quinn has posed:
The mention of this being a show, with ratings just makes Harley hmph. First because she doesn't believe this Doctor Kat is the real deal. And second because she is a competitor! She'd want to be doing this on TV too! Damn it!

"O' course I crushed his nuts." And proud of it she is. "I had ta save him from bein' mind controlled. The first one was cos he crashed the motobike we weah ridin' so I fell on him with my rollah blades." why she was riding on a motobike while using roller blades is a mystery that she most likely won't be sharing.

"This is all a travesty, ya ain't even suwah what gal ya want!" Harley says, gesturing about. "But besides, as Spiral says, not gonna be talkin' about no shit in front o' cameras!"

Wade Wilson has posed:
"No no it's not a show!" Wade answers, but then turns to Doctor Kat and asks, "//Is// this a show?" Because now he isn't too sure.

Doctor looks from the left to the right, getting a bit shifty eyed. "Of course you aren't being recorded." she says with a practiced smile.

He suddenly stands up, pulling a glock from his sweater, and points it at Doctor Kat. "Are we on a show or not???"

Doctor Kat's eyes widen and she holds her hands up, whispering into her lapel, "I don't know what to do..."

But, to Harley, he says, "Listen... my feelings are complicated okay! I like you both!"

Spiral has posed:
"Of course he doesn't know who he wants, he wants anybody.". Spiral doesn't say this like she thinks its a good thing, judging by the sneer. "Or both. And not merely as friends. We were friends before I started getting finger foods made for me. Well...". Maybe not friends. She turns on a heel to face Wade.

"I respected his star power. He is ratings dynamite.". She crosses all of her arms.

And then slowly turns to Doctor Kat. She reaches out with two of her hands, and draws a pair of swords out of thin air. "Cut, go to commercial!" she yells.

Harley Quinn has posed:
"And ya know what. I am an actual doctah. Ya just messed up in sayin' this was bein' recorded." Harley lets out a big sigh. "Rookie's mistake really. That's why ya should had spoken to *me* about figurin' out yoh feelin's! As a Doctah! I could play both roles!" because of course she could.

She points at the doctor. "You, get undah the table." then to the others. "Really, ya guys don't wanna go about shootin' oh kebab'ing someone on tv." she knows by experience it never goes well.

"If ya say ya such a big action hero you should make suwah ta get yoh doctah outta heah." it's the minimum he can do!

But well, in the end the situation has pretty much escaped her control. Ah well..., at least the ratings will most likely spike up there if this gets out.

Wade Wilson has posed:
"Hey, that's not true! I feel a strong connection with you because you also understand what it's like to not be accepted by the world around you!" Wade says to Spiral as he suddenly puts his gun away, then looks around. "Look, it's not assault, I don't have a gun anymore!"

He turns to Spiral and whispers, "You should drag her off camera... where ever the cameras are."

Doctor Kat immediately goes under the table, removing her lavalier mic from her blazer. "I'm not getting paid enough for this. Someone send in security!"

But then, Wade turns to Harley. "And you! I feel a deep connection with how you just go with the flow. You appreciate random gun flailing and explosions! And you're a kind heart that listens and cares about everyone's feelings!"

Spiral has posed:
"If it's being recorded it will end up being watched by Mojo eventually. He loves this sort of trash TV." Spiral says grimly. She's doing them a favour, really. But Harley is correct, probably killing someone on air is a bad idea. But she doesn't want to be recorded.

So instead of jumping on the table and stabbing like she first intended, she bursts into dance, her four spare hands swiftly forming a spell.

... And suddenly there's a deafening bang and a blinding light, and the room is full of floating, sparkly strips of glittering metal foil, which drifts fairly slowly on the air currents in here - and are thick enough to obscure vision quite well.

THEN she jumps on top of the table. "Nobody accepts me." she mutters.

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Look. I am almost flattered ya think o' me as a kind heart, but ya just fucked this all up." Harley tells Wade. Because really, this is a mess! And it's just about to turn messier apparently...

"Oh darlin', ya should had thought about that befoouh acceptin' interviewin' us.. " Really, Harley washes her hands of this. She may be *trying* to reform but someone people are just asking for it. She doesn't save stupid. And besides..., one less doctor giving her competition... that little glint of past times of crime come to the fore just a tiny bit. Why did she even give up anyway?! But it quickly fades.. She shakes her head..

The spell happens and she is putting one arm in front of her eyes, blinded momentarily by the suddenness of it all. She takes a step back instinctively.

Wade Wilson has posed:
"I'm not good at things, okay!" Wade holds his hands up as chaos erupts around him, and suddenly corporate security are banging on the door.

Doctor Kat suddenly stands up from behind her desk, holding a letter opener. "Do you have any idea how many people I've helped on my show? When pop star Marla Marlay had her breakdown, I immediately showed up to her house to film a special! When these parents brought their child on who kept being too quiet, I talked them into sending her to a camp for a year where they'd teach her how to be normal!"

She aims her letter opener at Harley. "You're just a crazy person, you're not a real doctor! I've saved more people than you ever will!"

Then her opener gets pointed at Wade. "And you, you can't even work your way around two women who could easily relate to you if you weren't out of your //fucking// mind! Die mad about it!"

Doctor Kat is completely losing it, as she stares down apparent death, and then finally she points her weapon at Spiral. "And //you//! I don't know what psycho ratings you're talking about, but I //definitely// get better ratings than //you//, Mistress Octopus!!!"

Spiral has posed:
Spiral definitely brought the lions share of the crazy. And then gets lectured! Psycho ratings, well, she has a point, but Mistress Octopus????? She goes very quiet... and then turns to Wade from her perch on the table. "And you thought this would /help/?" she asks. At least that brief moment of calm, glittering strips raining down on everybody in the room, gives her time to think. Of a disapproving Amanda Waller.

She gives Doctor Kat a psycho smirk, a sort of 'kill ya later' smirk. And then climbs off the table finally. Hearing the security busting down the door, she starts to dance. "I am going home. To eat chocolate turtles. Who is coming?" she asks.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Woah. Right to the heart! It might be true. Harley may just be a crazy person thinking she can be more than the sad thing that she is. But she won't take it lightly! "Let me at her!" she attempts to bum's rush her.. Because of course. But considering she is still pretty much blind what she accomplishes is running right onto Spiral's arms, and most likely be taken away with her teleporting motions.

Well, hopefully too! She doesn't want to be arrested by security either way!

But this Doctor Kat is going to pay one day!

Wade Wilson has posed:
"Wait, I want chocolate turtles even though this is all my fault!" Wade follows behind them, like a lost puppy who perhaps knows better now than to try to be the one who thinks of the grand plan.

He'll also order Chinese food as an apology.

Spiral has posed:
There's a flash, and then Doctor Kat is alone once more.

Probably the best result possible for her right now, to be honest.