4098/We all feel weird.

We all feel weird.
Date of Scene:	11 November 2020
Location:	Women's Dorms - Titan's Tower
Synopsis:	Vivian Vision stops by Titans Tower to make Cassie some assurances that turn out to be unnecessary. They also have a chat about what normal means and life as a super-teen.
Cast of Characters:	Vivian Vision, Cassie Sandsmark

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Vivian Vision has posed:
Although not a member of the Titans the synthezoid known as Vivian Vision does at least have visitor security clearance. In part because of work she's done to help out with previous missions and also because her Great Aunt is a Titan. Which is how she finds herself standing in the Womens Dorm chewing at her bottom lip and looking at one of the doors.

She takes a few paces down the corridor, then paces back, before finally very nervously knocking her hand against the door. "Excuse me. Miss.. Girl? Or is it Miss Wondergirl?" She blinks her glowing yellow eyes. "It is Vivian Vision. I was wondering if I might speak with you in private for a moment?"

She's not making any effort to holographically disguise herself. That seems like a recipe for a security alert. And has dressed in her idea of casual clothing, a green t-shirt and yellow cargo pants. Not especially different than the clothing she wore into space.

Cassie Sandsmark has posed:
Cassie's fairly hectic life - split between two super teams, three cities, a mythic sorority with a private island, and her freshman year in college - equates to an equally hectic schedule and complicated set of living arrangements. Often, she simply camps out wherever's convenient, wherever's nearest to collapse after a tiring mission or a long night of studying. In this case, it's a mix of the two: with the others still missing, her responsibilities with the Titans have increased, and so she's spent part of the night on watch duty in the monitoring room... before retiring back to the dorm to bang out a few homework assignments.

Naturally, this means the young woman who answers the door looks a little frazzled. She's dressed in turbo casual, a thin tank and some fluffy pajama pants, slippers, and her hair back in a ponytail. It's pretty anti-heroic looking!

"Hmm? Oh, hey Viv- uh," and she makes a sort of amused face at the strange adaptions of her codename, "Technically its 'Miss Sandsmark' if you're gonna be fancy but 'Cassies fine." She is on record as basically being THE WORST when it comes to secret ID stuff. "Uh... What's up?" She doesn't seem surprised to see the synthetic woman hanging around the tower - a mission like that together makes her as good as a member, far as she's concerned.

Vivian Vision has posed:
Vivian Vision brushes her green hair back behind one ear and looks down at her feet. "It's..." she glances left and right to ensure there's no-one else in obvious earshot. "Sorry my understanding was you all had to use codenames when a non-Titan is visiting. But.. I have a sort of delicate matter that I wish to.. to assure you about."

"You may recall during the space trip you became briefly incapacitated?" It's hard to tell with the red synthetic skintone but a casual observer would swear her cheeks are a deeper red than before. "And your suit was.. damaged." She coughs. "Anyway I wanted you to know that, although I do not delete memories for personal reasons, I have taken steps to obsfucate certain memories. Ones in which your situation was... indelicate."

She taps her foot a few times then adds "People often find it alarming that I record all of my sensory input and I did not wish to cause you any undue stress."

Cassie Sandsmark has posed:
"Oh. I guess. But my identity's not too much of a secret, so I don't mind too much," Cassie explains, giving one of her mostly bare shoulders a nonchalant roll. "And hardly figure you're a security risk, y'know?" And indeed, as Vivian reminds her of the situation out in space, she jumps on it, though remaining fixed on the prior topic of conversation. "Right, right! Like, you sure pulled my ass outa the, uh... gravity well?" She's not sure how that saying adapts for the cosmic scale. "Anyway you saved my butt out there, so why would I be worried now? Thanks by the way." Not that she probably didn't say so when she first came-to, but still!

Of course, all that enthusiasm leads to her sort of unintentionally talking over the other young woman, perhaps specifically because she's awkward and indirect in broaching the topic. "Yeah that blast was really something, I gotta talk to Diana about learning that trick she does to block bigger shots. You wanna come in?"

So it's only as she turns to step back into the room, leaving the door open for Vivian, that she seems to start to process what she's saying. "... hmm? Delete memories?" The room itself is pretty stereotypical (though instead of boys from bands, her posters are all of Wonder Woman), if a little under-decorated and neater than it should be, given Cassie's sometimes chaotic personality. Mostly proof she's not there enough to do more damage.

"I guess you would have pretty good memory, if you store things like a computer does," she considers, still not seeming to catch on enough to be embarassed. "But I don't know you mean. I know I got my rear handed to me, but it's not like I'm embarassed about it. I'd never hesitate to put myself in harm's way to help my friends, and sometimes that means I get knocked down doing it. No biggie."

Vivian Vision has posed:
Vivian does indeed follow Cassie in, if a little tentatively, closing the door behind her. "If you verbally consent I can holographically display the memories in question so you will understand?" she offers. Her blush seems more and more obvious as the Amazon talks. "I do not ever delete a memory because.. I worry that if I allow myself to delete anything I will lose my resolve regarding keeping some very painful memories."

She glances around the room. Really she looks anywhere except Cassie every time key words like ass, butt and rear come up.

"If I may be blunt? You may recall that when you recovered from the plasma attack you had a different space suit on...?" Her fingers begin twirling her hair around. "I'm sorry this is quite.. I think I have achieved a full understanding of the Human phrase 'to die from embarrassment'."

If Cassie does give her consent she'll get a fast speed replay of the time she was unconcious. Which probably goes a long way towards explaining why the synthezoid looks so shy. Although thankfully from the blank look that Vivs face adopts it seems she's probably doing something so her concious mind isn't aware of the holo-recording.

Cassie Sandsmark has posed:
Cassie remains continually rather unconcerned about things, it seems, ambling back into her room, and only giving a brief glance back when Vivian asks for 'verbal consent' for some kind of holographic replay. "Yeah, sure. You OK?" Maybe she doesn't quite know what to make of a blushing android. Or uh, even how to identify it as that. There are books open on the desk in the room, suggesting what she was up to, although she bypasses the desk to go throw herself backwards on her bed, laying with her arms out like she was utterly exhausted. "Ugh I cannot deal with any more of that stuff right now."

Eventually, she gives up on the melodramatic gesture and sits back upright, and gestures around. "Just make yourself comfortable wherever?" There's the desk chair, as well as a spare bean bag. Meanwhile, she still seems to be trying to make sense. "Death by embarassment? I really don't-" Then, finally, the projection is, well, projected, and she watches it. There's a decided wince when the blast hits, although the perspective is no doubt different as Vivian sees it from 'below' on the ring. Still, she can remember feeling. And then...

...well then, Cassie comes falling to that metallic structure like a burning star, making a small crater as she lands. This is where Vivian's perspective presumably gets more instructive, as she rushes to find her teamate. Of course, the scene isn't precisely what one would call suggestive: though she's durable, the plasma had still burned enough to leave her skin reddened, almost like a sunburn on a normal person, but fortunately not the blackened, disgusting mess it could have been. Though she can see that the only things left of her outfit are her bracers.

"Wait so... you're worried because my suit got destroyed?" She starts laughing. "I forget... you've probably didn't go to like, a normal school right? Take gym class? Or if you did, maybe you didn't have to- Viv it's not really a big deal. It's generally not considered quite so uh, indelicate?" She borrows the word from earlier. "To get undressed around your own gender, like to change clothes or bathe or what have you. So it's not really a big deal. It's not like you're going to post your memories online, right?"

Vivian Vision has posed:
Although she doesn't really need to sit down Vivian perches on the edge of a chair. She seems able to move over even while the holograph plays and her mind seems 'tuned out'. It must be rather handy having the ability to portion off your mind to perform tasks.

When she resumes full sensory awareness to Cassie laughing she coughs again. A gesture that's definately done entirely for effect. "I currently attend Happy Harbor High School," she explains. "But I was only activated from my virtual upbringing earlier this year and all my online activity is monitored by the Avengers. So no I am not really familiar with..."

She gestures her hand towards the space where the image used to be.

"All of that." She blinks a few times. "I do not even need to bathe myself. Never mind doing so with company."

Her foot scuffs along the floor. "I do not upload memories no. And as I said the Avengers see everything I connect to and would almost certainly prevent such an image from reaching the internet..." She studiously avoids making eye contact with any of the Wonder Woman posters too. Wonder Woman is after all an Avenger!

Cassie Sandsmark has posed:
"Oh? Right, sure, makes sense," Cassie offers in quick as Vivian corrects what her actual educational experience is like. "I guess it must have been a tricky transition, huh? But, yeah, most girls grow up with at least a bit of that kind of thing, so it's really not such a big deal, or anything you need to feel embarassed about. At least, not for my sake. 'Course it's kind of silly and old-fashioned how we break up our taboos that way, but that's like, a whole different conversation!"

However, there is something that catches Cassie's curiousity in how exactly Vivian frames her total lack of knowledge on the topic. "Have you never seen it at -all-?" she pauses to wonder, a little bit surprised. "You must have, at least some kind of anatomical knowledge or something, right?" And there's also a curious head-tilt that goes with her looking over across the room, although she doesn't put a voice to whatever curious thought just entered her head.

"But you're fine, Viv, no need to uh, mess with your own memories. Even if it bothered me... they're yours, you know?" She throws her shoulders up a little more dramatically, and then lets them sink. And maybe the whole thing would be settled until she realizes another glitch in that whole thing. "Wait wait, when you say the Avengers get to see everything you do... you don't mean they have access to your memory stuff too, right? You're just talking about external stuff?"

Vivian Vision has posed:
"I am unsure if my reaction is because I was programmed using old-fashioned values or if it was intended to simulate 'normal' American teenage behavior. It's also possible that this reaction is more severe because I think you are attractive," Vivian muses. There's a shrug. "I'm sorry I should not have included that last piece of information. I.. ah.. do not intend to act on such data."

She blinks a few times.

"Are you asking if I have seen myself undressed?" She seems a little perplexed. "It would be very hard to dress myself without having done so... I just meant other people. Chronologically I am almost  two Human years old. Mentally I'm close to seventeen although really I experience time very differently. Practically speaking I have read more books in the last six months than a Human will read in twenty average lifetimes. But I have only had limited 'life' experience."

She nods. "I have seen school textbooks but they are not the same. Strangely one of the Titans, Miss Fairchild, taught biology at my school." Her fingers drum against her knee. "Everything I do online. They could probably force me to give up my personal memories. But that would be no different to the use of magic or telepathy and I would strongly resist."

Cassie Sandsmark has posed:
That is the second time Vivian has made that particular slip, so it doesn't pass entirely unnoticed, although in this context Cassie weighs a little more carefully how she reacts, especially as it immediately causes the synthetic to go into another round of apologies. "It's OK, it could uh, it could be any combination of those, I figure? Like I was saying, just because it's kind of normal for girls to get undressed together... that's also because for a long time no one really ever took seriously the idea that they might be attracted too. So it's normal, but that normal is kind of backward, and it's fine to be a little embarassed." In the end, she's obviously trying to be very understanding, and maybe as educational as she can be!

A few moment's pause, and she adds, laughing breezily as if to play the whole thing off: "And its uh, flattering of you to say."

Then she gives a rather quick nod as Vivian starts explaining her own situation, self-dressing included. "Right, right..." And all those books! "That's amazing. You must be super smart, where I'm over here..." And she gestures at her homework pile, "... Miss Demigoddess having trouble with Freshman coursework." That ignores, the fact, that she has the equivalent of several full time jobs on top of said work, and that they make her face horrors her classmates could never imagine on a daily basis. But she still blames herself. "I had a pretty normal time growing up until just a few years ago. And now, well, if my siblings are anything to go on I may well be immortal... I guess maybe I'll have time to catch up on all those books, huh?"

As for the dangers all their memories face, she can't disagree. "I guess it's true. No reason you should have to be treated differently then, right? So like I said. They're your memories Viv. No reason you should have to change them."

Vivian Vision has posed:
"Regardless I shall do everything I can to stop myself acting weird while I am in your company. Or weirder at least," Vivian assures, nodding solemnly. "As I am supposed to experience the  full 'Human condition' I expect it was inevitable I would end up in a situation like this at some point. Thank you for being understanding about it.. I do not really have anyone I can ask for advice. Great Aunt Nadia did not have a normal upbringing and Janet is... erm... very Janet."

Her head turns to skim the books on the desk. Taking in the titles and, almost without effort, portioning bits of her mind off to read them. "I would hesitate to claim I am smarter than an average Human. I am just differently gifted. I can process information very quickly and accurately, but I can't just create a brilliant invention like my organic family members often do."

There's a curious tilt of Vivs head. "What's it like finding out you might be immortal? It seems like it would be very stressful. Even if it's what people often think they'd want. There must be some downsides." Her blush finally seems to be fading. "If you find yourself in need of someone to discuss concerns with in confidence please feel free to contact me. I... think I would like to help the Titans out more often. As it would be good to participate in a social circle where I don't have to pretend to be Human." The fact that likely involves battling supervillains doesn't seem to bother her in the slighest. But then her family are all Avengers.

"And I am glad you are not requesting I change my memory. It's a subject which already caused my first fight with Nadia and I was very worried it would.. cause problems again."

Cassie Sandsmark has posed:
"It's cool," Cassie reassures her, those words both so offhandedly casual yet emphatic in their meaning. "Your education and upbringing might be kinda difference and your experiences more compacted, but still... it's pretty normal, to feel weird? We all feel weird. Goddesses, I was a pretty awkward kid to begin with, and had to learn a lot of that stuff about myself in the middle of, uh, you know, all the superhero nonsense on top of it." She falls back on the bed now, staring up as she reminisces. "Even though it was getting to be more normal when I was growing up, I'd have felt really nervous ever telling a girl I liked her back then. And then I crushed super hard on a boy I 'worked' with, who turned out to be kinda-" She shakes her head. "I shouldn't judge him either. But yeah. I've had a lot more confidence since spending time with the Amazons, and not JUST because of living around a bunch of super awesome, athletic, divinely beautiful immortal warrior-poet-priestesses..."

Though it's hard to imagine that it could HURT any.

"Anyway, it takes time, and you haven't had that much of it. I dunno about advice, but like, if you ever want to talk to-" And then it seems as though Vivian has the very same idea, same offer, and she laughs her agreement. "I'd like that, yeah. I can't really make the call on Titan-ing, but definitely, if you ever wanna just hang out or-"

Abruptly, she turns from that final thought without fully completing it, toward more introspective self-examination, still staring upward, as if past the ceiling to the very heavens at question. "Honestly I don't think I'm old enough to have much of a useful perspective on it, or really even appreciate it one way or another. They say young people feel immortal anyway, its why they do dumb things and have fun, you know? So it doesn't feel that real to me. But then sometimes, talking to Diana, it does get me thinking, just how much she's lived and experienced. So from my perspective, I dunno. For now, I may as well just live normally, right? Or as normally as any of us get to."

Vivian Vision has posed:
"I read somewhere that the only true motivation for art, culture, sex, love... anything really is to distract a Human from their mortality and impending death. Which doesn't sound wrong but it also doesn't feel right? I would hate to have been created to understand people and for that to be my answer. So until I know for certain I try to believe that's not the case." Vivian says with a sigh, standing up and nodding to herself.

And then they're both suggesting functionally the same thing and the teenage synthezoid grins. "Yes that would be nice. Having someone outside of my family to ask things or to hang out with.. Would be very helpful." She smiles. "I'm not sure I'll /ever/ understand 'normal'." The way she says the word Normal is like she's talking about a strange and exotic land. "But it doesn't hurt to try."

"As for the Titan-ing.. I would not wish to unduly influence anyone into making a decision. I would hope I can qualify on my own merits," Her brow furrows. An internal alarm triggering. "I should probably begin making my way back to school. I need to take the Hyperloop and then make an airborne sea crossing to reach the dorm rooms. You are very lucky being able to fly so fast!"

Cassie Sandsmark has posed:
"That's a little nihilistic for my taste, yeah," Cassie agrees with a furrowing of her brow. "People understand fun long before they understand big concepts like mortality, and... I dunno. I really think most of it doesn't have a reason beyond itself, you know? We experience things because that's what life is, the experience. Otherwise we'd just be mulling around." She doesn't really have any deep philosophical insights to share... she hasn't gotten to the point in her college careeer where she's read the classic thinkers and now considers herself an expert while being totally intolerable to anyone around her!

When Vivian reacts to her internal timers and rises, Cassie sits back up. "Oh yeah, it's really kinda far, isn't it? Believe me, I know how it can be- even with the flying, well, let's just say sometimes I get that taken away and then I suddenly regret going to school in one city while working in two others." Fear the wrath of Helena Sandsmark. "S'why Diana got me a car. The two of them, they're like, conspiring, I swear..."

From sitting, she pops fully upright, just to see her friend off. "I'm sure you won't need any help Titan-wise, you were super handy on that whole Jupiter thing. Saving my attractive butt has to be worth some serious points." Now, now it's DEFINITELY intentional, and she grins a little mischieviously. "Have a safe trip, and, y'know, call me if you ever wanna hangout or something."