417/Decisions of the Heart

Decisions of the Heart
Date of Scene:	10 March 2020
Location:	Lois Lane's Apartment
Synopsis:	Lois makes a difficult and unexpected decision.
Cast of Characters:	Clark Kent, Lois Lane

---

Clark Kent has posed:
Clark arrived on time, as Lois requested he come by to finish up the work on the interview text. Why she couldn't do this is email was unclear, but Clark would never ask that. In fact, he wanted to see her. He'd originally been going to go as Superman, but she asked for Clark, so Clark it is.

When he'd arrived, he was clearly preoccupied, though: which probably meant whatever 'nefarious' plot Lois had to invite him over is getting derailed by that. It isn't too hard to get out of him, though.

"I was thinking over this 'Superman is alive!' story," Clark says, sinking onto her couch, and resting back, one hand rubbing his cheek and eye up under his glasses on that side. "It's going to fuel Lex Luthor's fire. Why wasn't Superman there to stop Genosha? What has he been /doing/? We need real answers to those things."

Lois Lane has posed:
She had given him the work excuse, but now Lois had the challenge of pulling Clark out of work mode. She sinks down on the couch next to him, doing her best to try and keep herself calm and collected. "I know we do, I'll ask him what he wants to say about that. We'll have exactly Superman's words to explain things. I think you're worrying too much about it. We should trust him."

Her eyes stay on Clark, but she's focusing on her nerves. He's going a mile a minute and she needs to not keep pace with him, she needs to fully focus. "Clark..."

Clark Kent has posed:
"I guess you're right, it isn't up to us, not entirely, but I don't want to write the story that destroys what he's trying to do, either," Clark says, still very clearly on the work topic. He turns, moving to rest one elbow on the back of the couch, turning towards her. He's close, but nothing strange; they're just talking, this has happened hundreds of times.

"The timing of Lex's attack, though, is that suspicious? Could he know what we know?" Clark asks, chewing on the inside of his lip, dark brows furrowed behind the glasses. He's looking for her thoughts.

Lois Lane has posed:
"Superman will have final say. He'll know if what we're doing fits with what he wants to express," Lois says slowly, not turning her gaze from him. It's fixed there, even as she talks work. "I don't think he knows. Lex is an asshole who hates Superman. I think he's just looking for a way to try and manipulate people."

She doesn't continue with more than that, her body turning to fully face him. "Clark, we need to talk about the kiss." Her thoughts are probably not was he was anticipating.

Clark Kent has posed:
Yes, Superman having final say WOULD be a relief, except that it's him, and he doesn't know what to do. So it's just more pressure. And some of that shows on Clark's face. It looks like he's suffering a little: the weight of /responsibility/ and integrity to a very important story!

"I don't want to open a door to him to manipulate more people, if it's done too quickly," Clark is starting to respond, but then Lois is changing the topic with abrupt speed. He looks startled. "The what? ...We do?" he asks. Fear stabs down into his gut.

Clark leans into the 'Clark' role and the flush coming on, and turns shy, looking down.

Lois Lane has posed:
It's not exactly the conversation she wants to have, but Lois is /determined/ to try and resolve things. Ripping on the stitches, Steve said. Those things hurt like a bitch though. "Yeah, it's kind of the elephant in the room, don't you think?"

She pauses. Or /does/ he think about it? Maybe she had been misreading the kiss. It was kind of sudden and he could have just been playing a little convincingly. "We should, uh, discuss how it felt. I mean, on a personal level."

Clark Kent has posed:
"Because you kissed me while----we were undercover, to help give us an excuse for being where we were that wasn't that we are nosy reporters?" Clark asks, carefully. After all, isn't that what it was? Is it more or less than exactly what it was? Also, it certainly does put the pressure on her end: she kissed him. It was her idea, wasn't it.

"I mean-- I know that's all it was. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Lois. Ah. How do you think it felt?" Clark asks, his shyness coming in as he adjusts his cuff of his sleeve, looking down at it. He's worried: did it feel like Superman? Does she know?

Would that be so bad?

Lois Lane has posed:
"I'm not uncomfortable, Clark. Not at all," Lois starts, for a moment feeling guilty for even bringing it up. "I'm asking because it sure seems like you were enjoying it a little bit more than just a staged kiss. Like maybe you were hoping it wasn't just a staged kiss." Lois turns a little more on the couch to face him. "I'm just /wondering/ if there's something to that."

It's his opportunity to deny it again, if he wishes, but she's certainly watching him like a hawk. She's going to get answers, one way or another.

Clark Kent has posed:
"If it felt like that, I'm sorry. I know that's not what you want," Clark answers, His arm is still on the couch back, and he draws the fingers of his hand into the side of his hair, a slight tension through the broad wrist and digits. That tense quality makes the muscle in his forearm stand out a little; it can't really be helped. Still, he's slumped, like a deflated ball of fluffy cotton candy. Melted a little. But still sweet.

Lois Lane has posed:
It doesn't answer her question at all. It's Clark being nice, Clark being Clark. Lois normally finds him endearing. But she also normally isn't trying to suss out his feelings. The guilt is certainly there... she's not sure if he's putting that on on purpose to cover feelings or if he's just being himself. It's /infuriating/.

Steve had made a suggestion, one which she threw out the window because it seemed out of place. She already /did/ know how she felt about the whole thing, so why would she kiss him again? Probably for this exact reason. If she's doing this and his feelings are involved, she doesn't want to be guilt-free. She wants to know the truth. Lois Lane always gets the scoop.

So she follows Steve Rogers' advice and just goes for it. She moves quick--she doesn't think Clark will react fast enough--and she lays one on him. She's doing it fast and sudden, just the way she kissed him in the hospital. Recreating the moment, but this time with less pretenses.

Clark Kent has posed:
When Clark hurts himself he makes little noises of injury. He'll accidentally trip and hit his toes, or slam his wrist, or go sprawling over his own feet. He'll burn himself on a pot, or walk into a low chandelier. There's usually a 'huurk!' of pain to those.

There's a noise of pain here, though it's somewhat different. Emotional. He was trying to extract and leave her feelings intact, regardless of how he felt about things (which is extremely conflicted, since he has to play this confusing charade of not being into her as Clark while Superman is very much into her). Throwing his alter ego as Clark under the bus still hurt, but he knew he could weather it, and just focus on that she does care for Superman, the icon, but maybe not the guy under it, the Clark.

And that is not what's going on here. What /is/ going on here?!

Lois has startled him, and his hand /flew/ up to her cheek. Not superhuman, necessarily. He's still flushing, and made that little sound that betrayed how he felt more than a lot of other things. It's an impact of giving him what he does want but maybe shouldn't do or /have/ as Clark.

But he doesn't pull away.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois is well aware that he is not required to kiss her back in this case. He's not pretending to be a couple to hide from a doctor while they try and investigate a scoop. Which means, of course, that whatever he does is /Clark's/ intentions and she's certainly wanting to know what they are. Was that just a fake kiss? Were there feelings involved?

It's gotta be a /kiss/ though. If he's going to react, he has to see that it's not just him. Really, she doesn't find it too hard to find the emotional depth to put into it. The first kiss shook things up and certainly made her look at him differently, so maybe this one will make /him/ look at /her/ differently.

She stays where she's at, not making any moves to disconnect from things, and she lingers in the kiss. If he wants out he's goint to have to make a point of it. She needs to have a clear idea of where he stands. That point is pretty clear by the intensity of the kiss.

Clark Kent has posed:
Something clicks.

// SHE KNOWS //.

She knows he's Superman. She's figured it out. That's the only good explanation for this; she's never shown real interest in Clark. It's what makes sense. She figured it out, maybe from the hospital kiss, and she's showing him!

Clark fluxes into the confusing fear: what does it mean that she knows?! It means she's kissing him anyway. She's okay with everything.

Clark draws his other hand off the back of the couch, to cradle her face, and kisses her back, strong and proud, and relieved, his heart lifting. She's incredible, and he can't handle it right now...

Lois Lane has posed:
Oh, well that was not the reaction Lois was expecting. Not at /all/. Not from Clark. And it's a good kiss. It's a kiss she likes. It's not one she /wants/ to interrupt even though it served its purpose. Somewhere in her mind she's thinking of these things, but that's one hell of a kiss. So she lets it go on, just a tiny bit longer while the back of her brain yells at her to stop.

She does, though, after a moment or two longer, slowly pulling back and sitting up a bit straighter. "All this time, you've been hiding /that/?" She does look a little surprised. "I can't believe you didn't tell me, all this time, you didn't say anything. I didn't know you had feelings for me."

Clark Kent has posed:
The kiss was meant to show a lot of what Clark was feeling. How relieved he was that she's accepted him. How much he'll make it up to her. How---

OH NO.

His expression goes from a bashful guilt (one hand lifted to his glasses, intending to take them off)--- to outright panic. He's brave, but he just opened his heart. And made a serious mistake. She doesn't know.

/OH NO/.

"I still shouldn't have. It's not--- I'm sorry." He feels like he's bleeding everywhere. So much for being a Superhero of the planet. What should he do? The mild-mannered reporter would run. Clark gets to his feet.

Lois Lane has posed:
"Nononono..." Lois says quickly, getting to her feet as well. "Please don't leave, Clark. I just needed to know if I was just imagining it or if it was just me feeling this. I kissed you and I felt something and I didn't realize that it wasn't just a passing thing and it seemed like you were..." She clears her throat. "That was a moment, in the hospital. We had a moment. We both felt something."

She's trying her best to make him stay, making a grab for his arm. "It was really selfish of me and I'm sorry." She's already regretting all of it. "J-Just... pretend it didn't happen. Like the other one." It's all she can think of to say. She's just afraid if he walks out the door he might not walk back in.

Clark Kent has posed:
Clark is looking down, retreating, but when she grabs his arm he stops, and doesn't block her or twist away out of her grasp. He doesn't generally do that; he never does a show of physical strength even if he /could/ evade her.

"I can pretend, yes, Lois," Clark agrees gently. He lifts his eyes and gives her a little nod. This man will do a lot for her. He'll say it never happened, if she wants that. There's an unconditional quality in it, for her happiness. He'll take the beating. He manages a smile, too, to help her believe it's all okay.

Lois Lane has posed:
Oof. She can feel it in her gut. Lois is entirely too uncomfortable with the situation. Her hand stays on his arm, though, trying to stop his retreat. "I've really stepped in it, haven't I?" Her hand squeezes his arm, taking some kind of comfort in it. "I wanted to know if I've been missing this the entire time we've known each other. That you felt something and hid it from me. I shouldn't have pried, I should have just had the conversation and left it at that so I wouldn't be sitting here and wondering what if." What if this had happened before Superman came back?

She lets out a deep breath. "I didn't want to do anything to ruin us. Lois and Clark. We're a team. We do so much together. You seemed fine with it." She frowns. "But you're not. You throw everything away for me. That's not fair to you." She almost reluctantly lets go of his arm.

"And now I have to contend with how I feel about this unexpected change of events versus how I feel about Superman." Her crisis is obvious everywhere. The way her heart beats like she's terrified, her brow is furrowed, her shoulders tense. The stakes are high.

Clark Kent has posed:
That's the big question: What result did she want, after she knew? Was finding the truth worth what it's caused? So far, it seems like it opened a door to him, but then she doesn't want him to walk through that door. Had she returned feelings, it would have been different. This just feels like him laid bare without hope.

But Clark is rallying, despite it all. "I /am/ fine with it. I'm all right," Clark tells her, lifting one hand, attached to the arm she's not holding, to try to rest it on her shoulder. "We're still best friends. I want that too. I thought - the wrong thing for a minute, is all. We're on the same page now, okay? I'm okay if you're okay." He'll deal with this weird rejection when he's not trying to look after her.

Lois Lane has posed:
But she's not okay. Steve Rogers did tell her she should kiss Clark to determine her feelings. Lois had do so, twice. It certainly did help her determine his feelings, as well as hers. The /idea/ of the conversation had gone great in her head. She could explain to Clark that she was with Superman and make sure there were clear lines and--

Suddenly she found herself leaning forward to kiss him again.

She wasn't testing how he felt this time, or seeing how /she/ felt this time either. It was a kiss because she wanted to. It was a kiss because Clark was giving her everything and asking for nothing in return and it was melting her heart.

Clark Kent has posed:
Except Clark dodges. She's gotten him twice with kisses out of the blue, and the last one was a knife. He evades it, evades the pain of it, by bringing both hands up to her cheeks and diverting his face a little and down. It turns out he's not entirely a doormat, there's a limit to how much he can take of the see-saw. Kissing, saying something else.

It isn't necessarily to stop her, but to say something. Softly. "Please don't play with me," Clark says, his voice thick with a choked emotion. He cares for her deeply, and this is harsh if it's not real.

It isn't a no, though, because he closes the distance to brush lips to hers.

Lois Lane has posed:
It's certainly real. Lois can't ignore that anymore. So she does kiss him. This one's soft, gentle, not a demand or a test, just something for the two of them. A brief respite. It's gone, though, after only a moment or two. Mostly because Lois is busy wiping away tears she didn't know were starting. "I'm not trying to hurt you, Clark. It's not a game, I..." She's having problems finding words.

"I can't just... ignore you. How you feel. How /I/ feel. I though I could push it aside because of Superman but I'm..." She brushes at her eyes with her fingertips. "How do you deal with caring about two people at the same time? I'm going to hurt someone."

Clark Kent has posed:
And he did this to her. Is actively doing this to her. It's all his fault. It's all caused by being close to him and his secrets. He put her in another kind of danger that he didn't anticipate or see. And the path to fixing it could make everything so much worse, could create so much more pain. It's the same as Superman going public: there's good and bad in the different options, and he's in the weeds. His life parallels, and for good reason: because he's Superman.

"It's my fault," Clark says, more at fault than she knows. "I'm sorry for hurting you." He's deeply sorry. He's exhausted from the rollercoaster. He steps towards her as she cries, trying to gather her into a hug, her tears to his ill-fitted shirt collar. Clark dares kiss her hairline. Affection he's fully capable of, but held in check.

Lois Lane has posed:
It's hard for Lois to resist that. She's gathered, easily, falling a bit against his chest as she buries her face against him. She's cried on Clark before, but never cried about Clark /on/ Clark. "It isn't your fault, not at all. You've... kept something bottled up and never told me. I can't believe I didn't notice. I don't even know how long you've felt... whatever it is you feel." She doesn't know a lot about his intentions, his feelings, other than that he somehow returned them.

"I only want to protect you. I'm so sorry. It was selfish of me to even try to dig and find out. I should have left it alone. I just... I don't think I could do what you did and hide it. I thought maybe I could try. It got really hard to after the kiss. I wanted you to know, at least, how I felt. At least there's that."

Clark Kent has posed:
"I didn't want to harm our friendship. I don't want to lose you, Lois," Clark explains. Entirely true. He's very worried with losing her and will take friendship and a continuation of whatever thing that they had for a decade over that loss. But here they are now, on the edge of that possible loss. And it's terrifying. What if she chooses she doesn't want to deal with any of it anymore? That her heart has had enough already? And, of course, this difficulty with her picking between him... and himself. It's terrible and he didn't intend for it at all.

Does he need to lie to her, now? Tell her he doesn't love her? He doesn't feel like he could sell that lie: not right now, he's too torn up. "H-How do you feel?" Clark finally asks. She said she wanted him to know. He can, at least, ask.

Lois Lane has posed:
Her head rests against him and Lois lets her eyes drift shut. At least she could enjoy him there like this for a moment or two. "I..." It's a hard promise to make. "... I won't go anywhere, Clark. I'll still be here. If you'll be here regardless of what happens, I'll still be here too." It's a hard promise to make because part of her does want to run away. Part of her wants to hide somewhere and cry it out and sleep for three days until people start to wonder where she is.

"I'm scared. I'm really, really scared. I'm going to probably lose one of the two more important people in my life." She's trying to hold back tears again because thinking about the prospect of that is hard. "I've really screwed it up this time. I shouldn't have tried to tell you how I felt. I just... when I realized that this was /something/ I kept thinking about all the times you were there for me. I kept looking and hoping that you left me a hint. I realized I /wanted/ it. I didn't just want to let you down easy, I was looking for an excuse not to."

Clark Kent has posed:
If she wants to hide in his shoulder or against his shirt, Clark's there. If she wants to hide from Clark, though: that he can't help with, beyond to leave and give her some space. "You don't need to tell me anything. I understand you're working it out," he says, kindness and warmth coming into his voice. This is not unusual: Clark is a rock, a support structure no matter what. One that worries about her, of course, but patient.

And it's time. For one of the secrets. The 'easier' secret, oddly. It's the one she's asking for. And his heart is already on the line. He can tell her this one. He'll be brave.

"I love you, Lois," Clark says, very quietly. "And I want your happiness. With me, a flying superhero, or something else. Whatever you need that to be. There's no ultimatum. If it isn't me, I'll heal. It's about time I told you that. I just wasn't sure you wanted to hear it."

Lois Lane has posed:
She lifts her head slowly from his chest at the admission. Lois looks at him slowly, then smiles. It's the kind of wry smile she's got when she knows a secret. "I had a hunch," she says. "You always had a soft spot for me. Not sure how I didn't notice before. You just never seemed to respond to anything, you always... you always seemed so distant. Like you didn't want me close. You're a tough nut to crack."

Her fingers play with the fabric of his ill-fitting shirt, much the way she had on the S of Superman's suit. "I do love you, Clark, I always have, I just... didn't understand the extent of what that meant until I kissed you." She laughs. "Does... that sound dumb? That sounds dumb." She's not crying, though, there's more of a sense of ease even if she still is very tense. She's still somewhat clinging to his shirt, too.

Clark Kent has posed:
He is, of course, both Clark and Superman. Or the middle ground of Kal-El. All of these identities, versions of himself presented depending on the situation. It's coming down to the 'version' that she prefers. Or the deeper truth of her reacting to all of them? But 'Clark', particularly the Clark that Lois sees, may be as close to his heart as it gets. It contains his weaknesses, his anxiety and fears: in that he's able to reveal them. And this is an identity, more importantly, that can do more than Superman: this identity can have coffee each morning with Lois Lane, can go to work, can have a /life/.

Superman is important, he is a big piece of Clark. But he's an icon: and as much as he tried to make Kal-El something, perhaps Clark is the core after all. Well, without the stumbling, lies, and forced mildness.

"It sounds dumb, but I like it, and I won't quote you," Clark says, swallowing, heart pounding, as he reels a little from what is actually happening. He's built it up for a decade, there's a huge impact here. "I---" gah. "What do we do with this?" Clark asks her, holding her just a bit tighter.

His eyes aren't wet. He's not crying. You're crying.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois smiles, giving him a little nudge in response to her temporary sappiness. "You better like it. Because those are about the best words I've got right now, Smallville." Her head returns to his chest for a moment after as she does contemplate what's going on here. "I'm not sure. I guess..." She has to make a decision on where to go with it, and it's not an easy one. "I guess I have to talk to Superman at some point."

There's no answer where she doesn't hurt and that's why it's tough. Tears well up again so she pretends not to be crying by gently tilting her head inwards towards his chest to hide the tears. It's probably not a very effective method. "I just need to stick with it and not think about anything else."

Clark Kent has posed:
"Maybe it'll be okay," Clark suggests to her, bleeding with empathy over this pain. What can he best do, that doesn't ignite a bomb? "Maybe he already knows," Clark floats as an idea carefully. Maybe Superman will just retreat back, let her go. "I can... try, too. If I end up dead with a laser beam to the heart, you'll know what went awry." He sounds a little nervous: which may read as nerves about Superman, but is more about nerves of everything. What is even happening? HOW on /earth/ did this turn this way? Lois kissed Clark unexpectedly. Twice. That's how.

"I... I mean..." Oh no. What if she chooses the other way? Well. "Maybe you'll just know," Clark says, with a verbal flail. What a mess. He draws one hand from about her to gently stroke her hair, and brush a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. "I wish this wasn't so complicated." Complications follow Superman everywhere light a lightning rod. He bends, she'll feel his cheek on her head.

Lois Lane has posed:
"I do just know," Lois says, swallowing hard. "The problem is it doesn't make it hurt less." She shifts her arms so she can hug him for a moment. "You don't just stop loving someone. I can't just turn the feelings off by having a conversation. Not when you've waited ten years. Not when you started something. Regardless of what I'm do, I'm stuck with someone knowing I'm still in love with someone else."

That may be something that one of them might not be okay with. She's not sure. They're both pretty reasonable, though. Very polite and kind. Gentlemanly. Concerned about her. She's wondering if she's got a type.

Clark Kent has posed:
"Does Superman know... if you love him?" Clark asks. What a wonky question. And he does know the answer to it. The answer is no, because Clark can absolutely say that he wasn't sure, as Superman. The words hadn't ever come forward. How bizarre that Clark ended up being where he was brave. Strange, really. But yet fitting: it's an admission of a weakness, in some ways. To open the door to be hurt, to have his heart walked on or thrown away.

"I'm sorry, it's not fair for me to ask you that," Clark says, realizing how much pressure he may have put on her. She doesn't know he's asking about himself, obviously!

Clark guides her sideways, back to the couch, leading her to sit with him there, instead of standing in the spot where he'd retreated to after that challenging kiss. "But I'll be here no matter what."

Lois Lane has posed:
"I... tried to tell him? I wasn't very good at it. It was kind of a wordplay thing? I just wasn't gutsy enough to say it, and he never said it to me so I'm pretty sure it never got across," Lois does look a little disappointed, perhaps a little guilty that it was a moment they never got to have. "Maybe... it's easier if he doesn't know?"

Once Lois has resumed sitting next to him, there's a bit of tension that eases. Maybe it's because she's certain now he's not running away. He's there, at least. She lets out a sigh. "I'm picking you, Clark."

Him. Over Superman.

Clark Kent has posed:
"You don't have to," Clark says gently.

How he MEANS that is that he's the same as Superman, so there's no real need to pick. What it sounds like? Probably sounds like he's willing to be the one that isn't picked.

But the real information of it rolls over him more entirely. He doesn't go for a passionate kiss, but he does study her face and her eyes, and lean in to gently kiss a place under her eye where tears were. Then again, cheek, to lead to ear. All of it soft offers, affection that isn't pushy. He puts a hand over hers, like he did in the hospital.

Lois Lane has posed:
It's very Clark of him. The soft way he treats her, the gentle touches. It only seems to reaffirm her decision. "I don't have to," Lois agrees. She, of course, doesn't undertand his real meaning. It seems like Clark to sacrifice himself, to fall on the sword for the greater good of Lois' heart. "I want to, though. I really want to."

To her it's strange, there's the fact they've known each other so long and are familiar with each other, but there was never a romantic layer to things. Now that there is, she's much more aware of him. His physicality, the way he looks at her, she remembers the things he did colored with a thin layer of care and affection.

Clark Kent has posed:
"Really?" Yeah, there's some disbelief. Ten years will do that. Some inability to accept what's being said, from a place of denial for so long. Or that it's insane that it's Clark, not Superman. He lacks a /plan/.

"I want you to," Clark answers. Finally, something aimed from Clark with an 'I want' at the start of the sentence! He's coming out of the doormat passive thing, somehow. Then again, he could also be sensing what she wants to hear: that she wants him to want. He's always been very emotionally intelligent: while also being stupid. Perhaps it's wisdom, but lack of intelligence of what to do with what he can sense.

Clark kisses her ear again and then moves to aim one to her neck. "I love you." It's so good to say. He's said it to her in ways she hasn't heard him before. But this isn't secret anymore. It's a broken dam of emotion.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois laughs. It's not that she's laughing at him, it's more a release of nervous energy, a noise of relief. It's followed by a lean in towards Clark, an affectionate move just to scoot them closer. She'd done it before plenty of times, but never because she simply wanted to get close to Clark. "I love you too," she says, her voice soft.

The kisses make her smile, a smile that lingers in the sort of way it does when she's happy. "Sorry about ambushing you like that," she does want to apologize for that at least. "I think I came on a little strong..."

Clark Kent has posed:
"I forgive you," Clark answers, not arguing that she did come on really strong. She did. He's not going to deny that, but he does forgive her. "Because you picked me." He's playing, lightly. Just a little bit. He draws his head back a little to look at her, but leaves an arm around her, low. He's taking a minute to resolve all of this now. What does this mean? To integrate this into their lives?

The answer is that it's /easy/. It's hanging out together with her pushing her socked foot into his face to mess with him while he's not giving her full attention because he's in paperwork next to her couch. It's bringing her coffee with a quick side-hug while she's run in late to work and couldn't grab one. It's discussing the new angle on a serious story over some Chinese.

They're already there.

Lois Lane has posed:
The playfulness that he offers gets a grin. Lois does appreciate it when he gives her a little bit of sass back. Feeling him move back to look at her, she shifts so she can give him a look too. It's calm, much calmer than she's been all night, and affectionate. Most of all, she's happy.

It feels strange, as if she's only just realized they've already been in a relationship. The affection, the care, the ease and comfort around each other, it had been there for years. They /knew/ each other. They knew their way around each other's apartment, they knew food likes and dislikes. It was there, familiar and right within grasp.

"You okay with this, Smallville?" It's a little strange, she'll admit, but that's because it's new. Strange but /exciting/.

Clark Kent has posed:
Clark looks her in the eyes, and glances down to her hand, where he turns his, curling his fingers under her palm, drawing the fingertips, along the edge of her hand. He strokes his thumb over the back of her hand, and then looks to her face again. There's a slight emboldened quality there. Maybe part of his shyness has come from concealing his feelings from her. Still, it may just call to memory all the times he sets that shy thing aside: usually when he's directly moving to help her with something.

"I think so," Clark replies, with a positive quality to his tone and a quick small smile. It's new and a little strange for him too. He continues to rub her hand, a soft circular motion. "I'll just have to deal with that the woman I love loves me back," he says, a careful little cheekiness there.

Lois Lane has posed:
It's a quality that she doesn't normally see in Clark and it's one that causes a warm smile from Lois. If she hadn't seen this, what other sides of him had she not experienced yet? The excitement is there, above all, even if it is a nervous excitement. Things may be settled in some way, but there's a lot left up in the air, and she still very well could somehow step in it.

"Good, you'll have to get used to that," Lois teases, still clearly unaware of any extra meaning he might thread into anything. She shakes her head a little. "That kiss was something though. Didn't know you had it in you. I suppose I've been underestimating you this entire time."

Clark Kent has posed:
And there's the shy Clark, he laughs in embrassment and looks away and aside, clearing his throat, pulling his other arm from around her to uncomfortably rub his neck and adjust his glasses up, something he does when he feels exposed.

Clark doesn't know what to say to her tease: he's an easy mark, as usual. "Ah, well. Maybe that has more to do with you, than me," Clark says, eyes still down, blush present.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois laughs, scooting in closer so she can certainly invade his personal space. "You don't get to play coy with me, Smallville. You were certainly kissing me as much as I was kissing you. No one's kissed me quite like that." The implication there is obvious. She looks back at him. "You know this means you don't have to be so afraid of me anymore. Whatever you've been holding back, there's nothing stopping you now."

She expects that there are things he's maybe wanted to say over the years or express to her that he's never gotten to say. She's already started thinking of things that are different in retrospect. "The freedom to be no longer weighed down by a secret admiration for your writing partner."

Clark Kent has posed:
Clark blinks and looks back up quickly, over his glasses at her, before raising his head again fully. He's quiet for a long moment, looking at her, and weighing the meaning behind her words. The implications in /those/. "Nothing stopping me but me," Clark observes, his gaze softened. He was very, very tense, the stress level to an extreme, and he's still flooded with the adrenaline. Or what passes for adrenaline in his body, anyway.

"Okay." Okay. He leans in, free hand coming up to graze fingers along her jawline, and kisses her softly, experimentally.

Lois Lane has posed:
"That's right," Lois agrees. She is, however, momentarily uncertain if she said something wrong in the prior moments. There's some unease in him. Nerves still? She can't place it, but if she can't calm him in words, perhaps there were other ways to put him at ease. Since he's the one that instigated the kiss this time, the first coming from him, Lois doesn't try to overwhelm him with it.

She doesn't want it to be like a prior kiss, she wants it to simply be /his/. So she keeps it simple, she keeps it soft, and she's not pushy, but she's certainly there and present in the moment.

Clark Kent has posed:
Clark's story is that of admiring and loving Lois from afar for years - and the kiss reflects that story. He allowed so much overwhelming emotion into the last kiss, this is an echo of that, just in a softer, slower expression. It's an expression of love, not hunger. It progresses to squeezing her hand, then releasing it, to gather her close.

Don't be afraid, Clark. He leans to lower her backwards on the couch, aware of her comfort, to continue the kiss, draw it towards a deeper one.

Lois Lane has posed:
It's like reading that story from the past to the present. An explanation, in kiss form, of everything he's been through. When she told him he didn't have to hold back what he wanted to say, she thought it would be in words. It's not.

Lois is well aware that she's the one that takes the lead, so seeing Clark take point in anything is a rare delight. So she lets the expression of love unfold in whatever timing and pacing it needs. When he eases her into a more comfortable position, she lets both her arms slide around him so there's a sturdy embrace there.

As she lets the kiss continue, her arms squeeze him gently. She's not trying to cling to him... but she's making certain that they're both aware she's not letting him go.

Clark Kent has posed:
For Clark, there's a risk in this. His story includes a great deal of information just in allowing her to put her arms around him and get a scope of that he's not an owner of a nerd's build. At any /real/ examination, it's hard to overlook how broad he is. Being bulletproof comes with a physical sense of resistance to blows: Clark has a peak muscleman's build; it isn't something he has any power over. That's just who he is.

But /how/ Clark moves and settles with her, along side her as he rested her back, is in total contrast with that. There's the shy, gentle quality to it. It's Clark, of course: he's not debonair or suave, he's wholesome, genuine, and romantic.

Clark breaks the kiss to look at her, to smile, his eyes full of the hopeful romance of the moment. He's enjoying all of it. He settles there, in comfort. Close. "I tried to date, but. They weren't you."

Lois Lane has posed:
It seems unlikely that Lois has entirely overlooked his build, but she doesn't question it. She might have before any of this happened, but there are some things that just aren't as much of a priority for the moment. Clark Kent the secret bodybuilder is not on Lois' list of top ten things to know about Clark. Instead, she focuses on what's right in front of her which is still Clark, but.

She lets out a slow, deep breath as she looks back over at him. She reaches a hand up from around him to trace along the line of his jaw and up to his ear. His words get a smile, and it's enough to even warrant a touch of color on her cheeks. That certainly got her. He had been holding these feelings for a long time. She takes in a breath to compose herself a bit better. "When?" She asks, softly. "When... did you...?"

Clark Kent has posed:
"....Probably right away," Clark laughs, embarrassed, his discomfort showing a little bit. He doesn't want her to laugh at him or pity him or anything else. "But I didn't figure it out for a little while." He hooks a little smile in, bashful. "My mother knew. Called me on it." Clark flushes and shrugs, but the smile grows more. He has a strong relationship with his family. Clark has always been very grounded, including with care of his loved ones.

He rests his head towards her, letting her explode his jaw and ear. He's warm from his flush. "But she was right." He glaces down, with his small smile. Clark's known he loved her a while, and accepted it.

Lois Lane has posed:
"Mothers always know these things," Lois smiles, but she doesn't laugh at him. It's not a look of pity that she gives him. She's blushing. She's /flattered/. "You kept that secret for years." That's not the part that amazes her, though. "Somehow, you still love me. All that time and I'm still what you want?" It's one thing for someone to love you from afar for a few months. It's another to be so in love with someone for /years/, even trying to date other people but none of them meeting the standard. It's a lot the more she thinks about it.

The blush is slowly growing because it's hitting her more and more just how dedicated and devoted Clark has been over the years. It only makes it clearer that he was the /only/ choice.

Clark Kent has posed:
Clark clears his throat with a quick little 'ahem' cough, aware that this may or may not be the most positive attribute: to pine forever, certain she didn't even see him. But he didn't try to push her or get in her face with it: he just internalized it, kept it separate, because his love wasn't returned.

"Yes," Clark admits. "It's still you." He pulls his lower lip in, sliding it against his teeth, and swallows. He looks at her again, to pick out the pieces of her emotions or reaction that he can see. "Very much."

Lois Lane has posed:
Perhaps it's not always a positive trait, but Lois is a hopeless romantic at heart. For as much sass that she gives, the sharp wit, the dangerous situations... she's got a major soft spot. Every bouquet of flowers melts her. Every tiny gift. Clark may have pined after her, but he wasn't a creep. If she hadn't done anything, he /never/ would have ever admitted it. So to her, it's a touch of the old-fashioned romantic.

Her cheeks stay colored, they seem to be stuck that way for the moment, but she's smiling at him. She looks comfortable, happy, touched by his words. The anxiety over having to deal with Superman later is far, far in the back, far enough that she's not worried about it right now. All she wants to see is him. "I'm glad you never changed your mind."

Clark Kent has posed:
Clark chuckles softly. "I won't pretend it was.... a good time, some of the time," he says, a smile in his eyes. He knows it was self-inflicted, though, there's no accusation, there's nothing hard to his eyes. "But /today/, I'm glad, too." Clark changes position a little, to rest his head next to hers, but still looking at her, just close. He seems to really just be soaking in the proximity, getting to really /look/ at her. It may have been something Superman was doing as well, but it's different, it's not awkward. And it's such an incredible relief. Superman's weight isn't in the room. He can deal with that later. It's just Clark and Lois and their hearts.

Clark lifts his fingers to softly touch her lips, the curve of them. He's been in love with her a long time, and is allowing the emotional weight to show through.

Lois Lane has posed:
"That's okay," Lois says, her fingertips reaching to trace along his jaw. "Pretty sure it makes you stronger to go through hell." She's not entirely sure that she's not giving advice to herself right now to store for later when she's dealing with the fallout of this. The brief twinge of guilt just ends with Lois settling a little closer against him. He's gazing at her and she's returning the favor, and it's an act she finds incredibly intimate and beautiful at the same time.

It's hard not to smile at the touch on her lips, and she presses a kiss to his fingertips mid-touch. She can't even find words to say.

Clark Kent has posed:
Clark sighs softly, his smile growing as she touches his jaw in return. He doesn't fear fallout in the same way. His fear will be when she discovers the deeper truth of what he's kept from her. He has his own horrifying fallout to worry about.

"Thank you for.... loving me back," Clark says, in a emotionally tightened voice. "It's all I want." He choked up a tiny bit but gets through it with a quick smile, fingertip playing over her pursed lips.

Lois Lane has posed:
She smiles back at him at the words, fingers still tracing along his jaw. Lois gets the tiniest bit concerned as emotion gets in there, but she's right there to bring it back around to him. "You don't need to thank me. Just let me love you. Don't hide from me again like you've done for all these years. You're still my best friend, I trust you more than anyone."

She leans in close, but just presses a kiss to the tip of his nose and pushes his glasses up his face a bit.

Clark Kent has posed:
Oof, trust. That's a gut-shot for Clark right now. He manages not to flinch. He'll have to repair that trust. But not today. Today, they're opening the door for love. The rest of it can wait, for this delicate thing to form. Clark nods his head as she asks him not to hide, and kisses her cheek.

Clark draws his head down a little bit, to rest his nose and cheek to her neck, but then pauses, as if remembering his glasses were in the way, and pulls them off as he settles there. As if it didn't matter. He folds the glasses, keeping them in his hand, to kiss her neck, and then rest his head there, his dark hair brushing her cheek and chin, his breathing warm near her throat.

Lois Lane has posed:
It doesn't strike her as significant in the slightest. They were in the way, so he took them off. It was /simple/. Lois isn't giving him a second glance. Instead, she slides one hand into his hair, tracing her nails along his scalp while she rests it there, almost cradling him against her neck where he's buried, glasses-free. Her other arm still holds him, just keeping him close and breathing deeply. Her mind is busy thinking of past present and future all at once. It's hard to see what's right in front of her, just like it's always been.

Clark Kent has posed:
On the other hand, Lois /has/ seen enough: she saw through to realize that there was a man that loved her. And her tenacity broke through that barrier to bring that emotion to the surface.

Clark remains with her that way for some time, before his own thoughts drive him to check on her, to see that she's still there, that he hasn't dreamed it. It takes form in him putting another kiss on her neck, and holding her more tightly just for a moment.

Lois Lane has posed:
She's right there with him. Lois squeezes him back for a moment, pressing a kiss to the top of his head as he remains firmly settled in her neck. He seemed comfortable there, but the squeeze at least caused her to turn her head a bit towards him. "You alright down there?" She murmurs, her voice soft not because it needs to be, but because it's still a tender moment and it feels as if it's the right thing to do.

Clark Kent has posed:
"Very okay," Clark answers, as he sets his cheek back down, after he'd moved a small bit to have kissed her neck. "I like listening to your heartbeat," he chuckles softly, hand coming up across her chest to briefly stroke a few fingers to the opposite side of her neck, and then settle the hand near her shoulder, loosely curled around his glasses still. There's a closeness to the tender shared moment, and he doesn't want it to end.

Still, he wants to see her reaction. He draws the glasses in, lifting his head enough to replace them, and sits up, to just smile down at her.

The night did not go anywhere close to expectation. And he'd not trade it, not for anything.