4288/Title=Cat's Cradle

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Title=Cat's Cradle
Date of Scene: 03 December 2020
Location: Gotham City
Synopsis: Catwoman's set to raid the Gotham Museum of Art's Stages of Grief exhibit, when she runs into a little competition. What is the chilling secret of the sad clown? Can Selina trump the Joker, or will she end up deuces? Shell Game continues here!
Cast of Characters: The Joker, Selina Kyle




The Joker has posed:
If Gotham's known for anything, it's crime.

If it's known for anything ELSE, it's art. Gotham has museums, private collections, a world class jewelry district, and acres and acres of money coming in as the glitterati know that if you haven't had a Gotham showing, the piece isn't really finished.

The painting in question is the Cat's Last Day, by Marion Tully; four paintings of her cat on the day before he had to be put to sleep, each in a different style to imply the process of grief, at least one quarter of the painting done under some really in designer hallucinogens to get that schizophrenic edge popular in art circles right now. The painting is going to be shown at a celebration of grief, a themed winter ball by the cruel society spinsters who control so much of Gotham's art scene. A good showing will make Tully as an artist. A disaster could make the painting priceless.

But this is the night before. Security is a bit of a joke, but not a very funny one; there is less of it then there should be, really, as some big names are invested in this festival. Kane, Sionis, even rumors of some Wayne dollars through a charitable front. So why are there only two very still looking guards outside of the vault the paintings are sealed in, Selina? Why are the motion sensors deactivated, there isn't even a laser grid up!

Still, the vault is closed, which means no one's gotten in, right? Maybe it's just a slow night.

Selina Kyle has posed:
    At first, Selina honestly just thought it was amateur hour at this museum. But as security proved just as lax the further she infiltrated, it rapidly became clear to her that someone had roughly the same idea she did.
    As a general rule, Catwoman doesn't care for competition; but if the guards are still in place, she may well have a chance to simply make off with the paintings before anyone else gets to them, making use of her rival's efforts herself.
    All's fair in love and war~
    Catwoman hangs upside down from the rafters, her whip coiled around one of the beams above, and supporting her weight as she hooks her ankles together around it. She begins to rock herself slowly, until she has just the tiniest bit of turning momentum, and then flicks her wrist, uncoiling the whip and causing her to drop right on top of one of the guards.
    She turns and flips her body around as she falls, putting her legs around his head and SWINGING him down into the ground where she lands on top of him, squeezing tightly with her thighs and attempting to render him unconscious. At nearly the exact same moment she lands, she lashes out with one arm, extending her whip to wrap around the second guard's neck, aiming to yank him towards her into a facefull of a chloroform coated cloth she's carrying.

The Joker has posed:
The guards are still. Are they asleep? Has this place really gone that far to seed?

Selina preforms her manuver expertly, smashing into the first guard, who slumps to the ground bonelessly. She skillfully ensnares the second, only to pull him close to apply a knock out rag...

When she can get a good look at the man's face. The yellow eyes, slightly rolled to the back of his head. The cheeks spread apart painfully as though rigor mortis had gone horribly wrong. A face locked in a smile, little droplets of drool dripping down his face as he desperately tries to force a breath. Is he alive? The guard's body shakes as his hands move leadenly, not even able to move up to grab at the whip as silent, painful laughter shakes in his chest.

Three guesses who your competition is, Selina.

Selina Kyle has posed:
    Selina is... used to a bit more resistance when she pulls tricks like this, quick and expert though she may be. Maybe some surprise? A token struggle? She already feels like something's wrong by the time she hits the ground, but her body's committed to her violent actions until the second guard draws close enough for her to properly see.
    "Oh my god...!" Catwoman whispers very quickly, instinctively SHOVING the second guard away from her and onto his back on the ground. A quick glance down at the first guard confirms a similar condition, and she stands up sharply with a repeated "*Oh* my god!" The Catwoman looks back and forth between them rapidly, indulging a moment of panic as she mutters, "Oh no, oooooh no no, come- are you *kidding* me?!" with gradually increasing focus, and kneels by the first guard's side as she speaks the last few words, checking his pulse, her gritting her teeth with anxiety.
    It wouldn't be the first time she's wasted time on good little gestures of concern without thinking. She's mostly stopped questioning them and accepted them as an unprofessional flaw she needs to keep an eye out for.

Satisfied with whatever result she gets, Selina stands up quickly and regards the vault door as she coils up her whip with both hands. Is it already open? She glances at the guards again, and wonders how one might time an ambulance call to both her curiosity, and the need to get the hell out of here.

The Joker has posed:
The first guard is dead. No pulse, rictus grin. The second guard is nearly gone, it seems. Maybe if you did something so he could breathe? On the other hand, that is a lot of unguarded art...

The vault is closed, but not locked. Selina can open it easily enough. If she chooses to do so, she'll see...

Well, the art. A few statues, a few paintings, a particularly lovely ruby necklace, and in front of the star of the show...

The Joker. He's actually dressed like a thief for once; tight but flexible sweatpants and a matching sweater, burglar mask over his head that he's taken off. Sure, they're still purple, but he's not wearing a suit to a cat burglary. The clown can't frown...well that's not true, his face defaults to a grin but he can manage other expressions with effort. He's definitely frowning.

"Evening, Catwoman." Joker says, and more than anything he just sounds utterly bored. "What do you think of it? I'm not sure, it's like...it just about says something, and then it gets lost, you know? Like she got talked out of the work of art she really wanted to make."

Selina Kyle has posed:
"... Joker." Catwoman replies with somewhat stressed civility, casting another glance at the surviving guard, but unwilling to take her eyes off of the clown for long. It's not the first time they've met. The Gotham Underworld can be... surprisingly friendly now and then. Hell, they matched for a little while, back when she favored purple as a costume. But... one never wants to take these things for granted. Even if part of her is screaming to give the poor bastard on the floor CPR or something.
    Selina finishes coiling her whip, and holds it tensely in one hand. Unwilling to appear too shaken in front of him, Selina adopts... something approximating her irreverant plaful tone as she tilts her head and puts her free hand on her hip. "... Well, you know what they say. Art's more about what you take out of it than what you put into it." Selina looks at the painting. "... Plus some smartass thought you could plan four paintings while you're grieving." Selina arches her eyebrow briefly, and then looks back to the Joker, not yet willing to bite and ask the obvious question.

The Joker has posed:
There is a first aid kit, not far from the vault, hung up for emergencies. Might be an oxygen tank in there; with the number of gas-themed criminals in this town, fresh air is something of a priority for most corporate security layouts. Joker doesn't seem to care, but who knows what'll set him off?

"I think that's it. She got too clever. The first painting actually has some feelings in it, and the rest are just...riffing." Joker says, and that frown turns into an all out scowl. "Going through the motions."

Joker turns around, continuing to talk as if they were friends, or at least as if Catwoman was an audience. "It's frustrating, you know! You get put in boxes! Box after box, and every time you think you've freed yourself, come up with something fresh or new, it turns out Vandal Savage did it in the thirties! There's a name for it on Wikipedia! They named the germ after a cartoon hedgehog! It's infuriating! And the worst part is, I mean, here we are, dressed up like a clown and a..." Joker looks at Catwoman as if seeing her for the first time, and then the whip. "...is it like a Bastet tribute thing? Showing off the dual nature of the cat-goddess and femininity? I never thought to ask. Anyway, we're dressed up, we're flauting law abiding society, but we still need money! Every time I look at one of those bills I just see his face, laughing at me, with that know it all sneer, I've already prepared an antitoxin Joker, I shut down the water flow to the dam before arriving Joker, sharks can't live in fresh water Joker!"

"I'm rambling." Joker says, blinking, and coughing, once, into a red handkerchief. "Oh, pardon me, I think the evening's getting to me. Catwoman! It's been a cat's age, ah hah. It's been a while since I did this sort of thing without phoning the police force, I apologize for my manners." Another look at that whip, and a raised green eyebrow, as if to say, 'Is this going to be a thing?'. Joker's shift from intellectual boredom, to furious rambling, to composed professional alertness all happens barely over the course of a minute.

Selina Kyle has posed:
    Selina presses her lips into a straight line, cautious and thoughtful as she rather candidly and matter-of-factly replies, "I just like cats and making men drool. Keeping it simple." She'd normally say it with more mirth, but... this dying man is distracting.
    She can't resist a hint of a smirk as Batman becomes the topic - one man's 'infuriating' is another woman's 'hot', she supposes - then glances from her whip to the Joker when he takes note of it, and smiles. "... Hey, that's no problem,-" She says with cautious professional friendliness, "-if I wanted the place to myself, I would have sent a calling card. So, what..." Selina glances from the man, to the Joker, and back, "... brings you..." Selina sighs subtly and looks back to the Joker, "... here- hey are you committed to this guy dying? I... have an MO, and it involved minimal corpses if you don't... y'know..." Selina lowers her head slightly, "... mind."

The Joker has posed:
"What?" Joker says, as if he'd forgotten the guards even existed.

"Oh, no, fine, antihero away." He says, waving a hand and smirking a little. "I wasn't even going to do them, I'm rather invested in Batman thinking I'm in Russia right now, but one got a lucky cross in and loosened a tooth. You would not BELIEVE my dental bill, Mewsette, really."

"Honestly I realize I'm stepping on your theme, a little, but the client has a vested interest in this woman's career and the only thing better for a young troubled artist than an early death is a patented Joker heist." Joker says, pulling that famous, dreaded calling card out of his sweater pocket. "I realize it's a little rude; do you want the rest of this? Ozzy's bust a muffin top over the necklace, I think, it's just gauche enough to make him feel sophisticated."

Selina Kyle has posed:
    Catwoman lets out a little breath of relief and quickly notes: "You're a doll." before she hurriedly moves to the medkit. She's already opened it on her way back, rifling through and tossing miscellanious items over her shoulder, before she pulls out the emergency oxygen, dumps the rest of the medkit off to the side, and crouches down to apply it to the surviving guard.
    She'd kneel, but she'd really like to be able to move quickly if she needs to, just incase... things happen.
    "That's... generous." She remarks, still looking down at the guard. After a couple seconds she looks into the vault and says, "... not usually my style, though. I really had my heart set-" Selina stops herself. Better not to go down a road that sounds challenging, even if it hurts her pride. She clears her throat. "Ozwald does pay well, though. When he *does* pay."
    After a thoughtful beat, Selina speaks with something that sounds almost like friendly concern, "... A client's not like you.." She briefly glances around when it occurs to her that there are typically henchmen involved in his actions, "... You're all alone?"

The Joker has posed:
"I always thought fat people were supposed to be gregarious." Joker agrees, chuckling a little at the sheer absurdity of the Penguin. There's a bit of an edge there; Oswald is one of the few bosses in Gotham who can keep up with Joker, and the two have always had a rivalry that could turn from actually friendly to murderous at the drop of a hat. "I guess he skipped that portion, eh? Hah!"

The laugh dies, quickly. "This? Oh, yes. I used to do solo jobs all the time back in the old days. The Claridge diamond? Oh and when I aced old Judge Steiner! They thought I was the cop they sent to bodyguard him! The look on his face..."

"Oh God, I've become nostalgic. It's terminal." Joker groans, "That's why I need this job, Catwoman. Steal it from the client after for all I care, but I need that name and date. I need to know when Omar Icini will be vulnerable."

Catwoman manages to help the guard just in time; it'll be a rough night, but it seems like without the lack of air, the Venom dosage wasn't innately lethal.

Selina Kyle has posed:
    Catwoman can't help a small relieved smile when she thinks the man she herself planned to attack will pull through. The smile sours a little as she briefly looks at the one that will certainly not pull through.
    Finally it becomes a frown as she listens to the Joker. She shouldn't pry. She really shouldn't. But... curiosity... cats... etc. "... This Omar guy cross you?"
    It still feels wiser than poking him about getting older, vis a vis 'nostalgia'.

The Joker has posed:
"Never met him!" Joker says, sticking his tongue out as he tries to figure out how to walk out of the building with this thing. They never teach you this part. He gets a canvas bag, starting to stuff the painting into it...delicately. "He swims in a higher school, as it were. Hosts a lot of private parties for the silver spoon crowd. CEOs, senators, a president or two, a king..."

"He's an information broker. Among...other luxuries." Joker explains, leering a little at the thought. "Started out as a mathematician, talked a rich friend into letting him do his books, and bob's your uncle, he's in the procurement game! Guns, drugs, private locations, flesh, secrets...he has so many secrets filed away in his little black book, Catwoman. Never trust anybody who gives you a good time for free. Or for pay, I suppose."

"So I'm going to steal him!" Joker reasons, "I just need to find out where he's going to be, and all of a sudden I have the hottest ticket on the planet! Enough money to do whatever crazy little thing I want to Gotham City! Maybe I'll paint the whole place orange, or put a giant glass dome over it and poke the thing like a fishbowl...."

Selina Kyle has posed:
    Catwoman listens to all of this play out, and lets a moment of silence hang in the air afterward as she fiddles with the ring of her suit's zipper with one finger, as she does when she's thinking. "... Curious."
    Technically she should run to Batman. She's played informant before. It's kept her out of jail. She's played sidekick-of-circumstance a few times, and it's gotten her a stolen kiss or two. But... running to daddy when something worrisome happens. She... just doesn't know. Besides, she'll be crucified if any leaks get traced back to her.
    Besides. This is interesting.
    "... Sounds like a 'whole crew' kind of game. I... *might* be interested... if I'm not too much trouble~" She says, her tone light heartedly flirtatious... though it dips back down to severe as she adds: "... and if you can play nice." She smiles again. "Call it a..." she gestures to the vault, and the score she's now being forced to give up on, "... 'professional courtesy'."

The Joker has posed:
"You putting me in a box, puddy tat?" Joker says, and thinks, for a second.

Blonde tresses pass by his mind's eye, a face that loved to laugh and was sweating too much for a woman in her condition...

For the first time tonight, Joker smiles. "A good old fashioned super-villain team-up, eh? That...sounds like a laugh."

"Hah hah hah." Joker says, squatting down by the guard, "Get it? Ha ha ha, HA HA HA!"

"I don't think he gets it." Joker says, stone faced, standing up straight and handing Selina a business card. It doesn't even explode. "Meet me in a few days. And spread the word, because I have a feeling I am going to need a little help on this one."

"Imagine!" Joker's amused again, loading the duffle bag into a cart he's set up. "Pairing with the Joker!"

Selina Kyle has posed:
    Catwoman grimaces in roughly the shape of an awkward smile as Joker poses with the guard, offering a tepid "Hehe." She regards the card for a beat asthough it might bite her, before taking it against her better judgement. "Sounds good.
    She winces again at Joker's final statement and replies "Yeah..." and looks down at the card, murmuring with faint anxiety, "... imagine."