4342/New York Style Legal Advice

New York Style Legal Advice
Date of Scene:	08 December 2020
Location:	Avengers Mansion - First Floor
Synopsis:	A casual chat with Nadia, Janet, and Jennifer Walters. Janet gives Jen some legally questionable advice.
Cast of Characters:	Janet van Dyne, Nadia Pym-van Dyne, Jennifer Walters

---

Janet van Dyne has posed:
One of the more challenging aspects of heroic work is the logistical side of things. Sure it's fun to swoop in, punch the bad guys, and liberate a bunch of brainwashed young women, but the back end work is often joyless and usually completely thankless. And yet, it's just as essential as the heroic intervention up front.

Janet flips through a stack of papers in front of her, spread over a table in the Avenger's Mansion study. The wasp's wearing dark winter clothing; knee-high black boots, and a deeply olive green bolero jacket and long skirt with a starched military look to them. Gold hoop earrings and a narrow fur-tail stole give it a Manhattan uptown look.

"We've got the adoption paperwork going for the girls who want to relocate, so that's done... INS is going through the green card paperwork..." she looks up at Nadia, bookmarking the spot with a thumbnail. "For the girls who want to remain in the city, did you talk to them about living on the GIRL campus? Or are they going to want to get, like, townhouses nearby?"

Nadia Pym-van Dyne has posed:
Nadia looks almost like she is dizzy from trying to make sense of all the paperwork in front of her. The Girl Genius can easily process quantum physics dissertations that would melt a layperson's brain but bureaucratic red tape seems to be another matter entirely, "You're sure this is in English right?"

The sixteen your old is dressed in her usual reds and blacks that border just on the edge of goth or industrial. It's a bit odd given how perky she is, but it's what she apparently likes. She rests her elbows on the table as she looks up at Janet, "I haven't gotten to see them yet, did Bobby clear them already?" At some point over the tumultuous past few months Dr. Morse transitioned into Bobby it seems.

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"I think at this point, shit or get off the pot," Janet suggests with a mischeviosu smile. "If they've made it this long without cracking up and going murder-y on people, then they're either sane enough for society or smart enough we won't catch them until it's too late. But that's no reason that all the girls need to suffer living in a SHIELD bunker the rest of their lives."

"Besides, I've got people greasing wheels over at INS and expediting that paperwork. Between my folks and SHIELD pushing this through the red tape I think we'll be OK. We've got temporary visas for all of them anyway-- who knows? Maybe down the road they can apply for US Citizenship. I could probably get some H1-B visas," she muses. "Can't most of them do, like, ballet? That'd be a good premise for getting them into the country."

Nadia Pym-van Dyne has posed:
Nadia blinks like she hadn't even considered that, "We can all do ballet, yes. It is one of the first things they train us in, since it builds the grace, muscles, and flexibility needed for advanced martial arts training." She very matter of factly describes the training techniques of the Red Room.

"I'll ask Bobbi about it, I need to stop at the Triskelion anyway to see Carol and ask about some alien stuff. Oh yeah my friends are back and they brought aliens with them, too! Why does everything seem to be related to aliens lately?" She genuinely wonders about this.

Jennifer Walters has posed:
It's been a long day. Impossibly long. You have no idea how long a day can be until you spend the entirety of it in court, dealing with the most nitpicky of the nitpickiest of judges. So instead of heading right home, Jennifer Walters decides that she needs some social time and heads for the Avengers Mansion.

The front door of the mansion opens to let Jenn in and as soon as it's closed the lawyer leans against it with an, "Uggggghhhhhh. Please tell me there's something to punch. I could really use to punch something right about now." Lower, she mumbles, "particularly Judge Hollenback's face."

She looks up realizing that there are, in fact, people here and that they probably heard all that. "Oh! Um." She straightens up and smooths out her charcoal grey business skirt with matching jacket. "Hi Janet! Nadia!"

Janet van Dyne has posed:
Janet flips through her papers and makes a few notes with a red-ink pen in her hand. "...Met... ballet... Columbia," she mutters, and underlines the words with a flicker of the pen-tip.

The muttering from the door catches Janet's attention and she smiles with a fond, wry expression at Jennifer. "Hi honey, big day at the office?" she inquires with a bubble June Cleaver imitation. The pen in her hand flickers in an inviting arc at a chair at the table. "We're finalizing some of the paperwork for GIRL. Thanks again for lending your people, I know immigration's not the usual jam at your office. I was thinking of sending you a fruit basket. Or should I just get a couple strippers to jump out of a cake?" she inquires with a mischevious grin.

Nadia Pym-van Dyne has posed:
"Maybe Jen can be part of GIRL?" Nadia offers, "Lawyers are always good to have right? And it's Jen!" As if this too is an instant qualification for just about anything.

As if on cue though, Nadia's T-comm starts beeping. The sudden noise causing her to sit up suddenly in surprise, before pulling the small device from her pocket and peering down at it. "I will be right back, I need to talk someone through deactivating a space/time compression matrix they tripped over in the lab, before it tears a whole in reality. I should really just dismantle that thing since my friends are already back..."

Jennifer Walters has posed:
Jennifer's eyes light up at the mention of strippers. "Oooh. Strippers. That would *definitely* make my week go a lot better." She chuckles and moves into the room where Nadia and Janet both are. "I tell ya. There are days when I question the life choices I have made that led me to Judge Hollenback's court. He is hell to work with, both for the prosecution AND defense. If it wasn't unethical I would have taken up the prosecution's offer for a drink afterwards just to try to get sloshed enough to forget the entire day."

She gets a twinkle in her eye when Nadia invites her to join GIRL, and turns to Janet. "Ooh, Janet! Can I can I? We can paint each other's toenails, and talk about the hottest boys and do SCIENCE." She grins. "Well, *they* can do the science part, I'd just supervise and probably end up being a test subject."

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"That-- that doesn't sound like the kinda thing you just leave... LAYING AROUND!" Janet shouts after Nadia. Too late-- the Waspette is gone and she rolls her eyes in her wake.

Jen's question grabs Janet's flighty focus and she stares at the lawyer while processing the idea of Jen joining GIRL. "Huh? Oh!" She holds her hands aloft and shakes her head. "Not my call, honey. GIRL is Nadia's baby. I don't know what her end goal is, she's collecting brain trust kids like they're Pokemon," Janet tells Jen. "But I probably wouldn't volunteer to let a bunch of eggheads experiment on you," she suggests with a conspiratorial tone. "Nadia's a lot like Hank, and she's actually one of the more *stable* ones." Brows rise pointedly.

Jennifer Walters has posed:
Jennifer nods, moving towards the kitchen so she can fix herself something to drink. "Yeah," she says more seriously. "I learned my lesson from Bruce about the whole experimenting on yourself kind of thing." She shakes her head, "I thank the heavens that I'm not smart in the same kind of way Bruce and Hank are. *One* of us has got to have a solid head on her shoulders." She grins at Janet, "I'm sure you know all about it."

She wanders to the fridge, and opens it up, her lips pursed into a moue of consideration of its contents. "Seriously, though. Somebody really should chaperone the group." She pokes around for a bit before coming out with a soda. "I mean, it's all fun and games until somebody pokes their eye out into another dimension."

Janet van Dyne has posed:
Janet's drinking something from a silver thermos; from the smell it's a juice cleanse of some kind. "I'm making sure Nadia doesn't spend her budget into oblivion," Janet offers. "Also things like, y'know, food, clothing, that sort of thing." Her small nose wrinkles. "I used to think it was just teenage boys who don't smell good, but after a few days up close with the girls, I had to set a shower schedule. The Red Room training wasn't big on hygiene."

She props her chin in her palm, elbow on the tabletop. "Bobbi's more or less mentoring the science stuff. It wouldn't be the worst idea for you to be on call," Janet concedes. "If nothing else, some of those girls are scary strong and really fast. Throwing a She-Hulk into the mix might be a good deterrant. Just like... sit on any of 'em that get outta line?" she suggests.

Jennifer Walters has posed:
Jenn laughs as she sits down opposite of Janet. "I can do that. I'm also hard to accidentally blow up, too, so there's that." She cracks open the soda and takes a drink. "I'm also a lawyer, so I can advise them when things get a little *too* extralegal."

She waves a hand, "Really. I've had to babysit Hank, Bruce, AND Reed for /years/. How hard could it be?" Famous last words, that.

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"I'd definitely prefer to avoid GIRL being in the headlines for any negative reason," Janet agrees, wryly. "Bailing one of my models out for going on a five-finger shopping spree is free advertising. Bailing Nadia out for accidentally shooting a... particle ray gun through someone's house, that's something I don't wanna do."

A thought occurs, and Janet perks. "That's what you could do-- some coaching!" she tells Jen. "Y'know. The plausible deniability, fifth amendment evasions, how to talk to media, that kinda thing. Some of the girls are almost hardwired to be blunt and that could be a problem if the wrong newspaper reporter pins them down while they're out and about."

"I know Nadia wants GIRL to be this... giant super summer camp, but I really want these kids to have a shot at a... I don't know. /Soemthing/ like a normal life," Janet says with a quiet earnestness.

Jennifer Walters has posed:
Jennifer folds her arms and shakes her head sternly. "Janet, only *you* would think being coached for how to deal with the paparazzi would be a 'normal life.'" She unfolds her arms and lightens up a bit taking another sip of her soda. "I get what you're saying, though. Kids that young, that *smart* are going to need to be taught how to function around a world that just isn't on your level." She waves a hand, "It's something all of us Avengers have had to learn how to do by ourselves, for the most part." She leans forward a bit, "And let me tell you, when I first hulked out I really could have used a mentor. Bruce wasn't exactly a good example."

Jen rests her chin in her hands as she seriously starts to think about this. "Hm," she muses to herself. "Bobbi will be good at that sort of thing, too, but she's not going to be able to do this on her own." A moment of silence, and then she picks up her laptop and pops it open, "I'm busy with my firm, but I'm sure there's a few clients I can have my junior partners take care of...."

Blinking, Jen realizes that she got lost in her own little world there for a while, as her laptop starts booting up. "Sorry," she apologizes for drifting off. "You have a good point. These kids deserve a normal(ish) life."

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"Okay, /relatively/ normal," Janet allows, and rolls her eyes with a tolerant grin.

"Don't go overboard or anything. It's not like it's classes or a nine-to-five," Janet reminds Jen. "Just... y'know, a little curriculum. Like you did for us when the Avengers got going," she suggests. "We're all kinda flying in the dark here. Nadia's the only one who really knows what the girls need, and she's still figuring out stuff herself. Not that she's not making like, hella progress," Janet says with a proud smile. "But I think it's better if they don't have to kludge through the basics from inside a prison cell. Y'know?"

Jennifer Walters has posed:
"Keep... the kids... out of.... jail," Jennifer notes, jotting it down and underlining. "Got it." She chuckles, "Don't worry. I need to lessen my caseload anyway. I tend to try to take everything on myself. You know, just like everybody else in the Avengers. I've been meaning to make sure that I have free time to do... you know... social things. I've gotten out of the habit."

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"Why not come out clubbing with me some night?" Janet offers. "I dragged Pepper out a while back. We could rope Tony into it, I'm sure, and probably Sam or Rhodey. Even Carol if we all conspire to bully her into it. I've been going out every night for..." She blinks. "Holy shit, like, a month now," she mutters. "Nadia and I do a mommy/daughter date night thing once or twice a week. Steve's still on assignment with SHIELD, so it's kinda..." Her lips press into a line. "I'unno. Boring. Quiet. I can hear my own blood sloshing in my head if I'm in my penthouse by myself too long."

Jennifer Walters has posed:
"Oh, man," Jennifer says wistfully. "I haven't gone out clubbing in *ages*." She breaks into a huge conspiratorial grin, "Let's do it. Things have been super serious as of let and this would be a great way to loosen up and let off some steam." Her grin breaks wider, "And I have this slinky little purple number that I bought a while back and have been *dying* to wear."

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"Hey, there you go, the hard part's already done then." Janet grins impishly at Jen. "You've got your outfit picked out already."

Janet picks at her short hair with her fingernails, pushing it this way and that with an absent motion. "Y'know it's funny, things have been serious but not like... stressful?" Janet hazards. "There's no aliens invading or kidnapping attempts. The most exciting thing in my life lately is waiting for Steve to get to a satphone to call home, and--" she gestures at the pile of papers. "Y'know. Paperwork. Even the fashion shop is sailing smooth, we're working on the spring release package and planning the European circuit. Maybe I'll deign to stop in Milan, drape something awful on some skinny boy and toss it on the runway to see how long it takes for a bunch of prima donna 'critics' to tell me how amazing it is."

Jennifer Walters has posed:
Jennifer tilts her head curiously. "You mean that isn't how haute couture is made?" She waits a beat, steadying herself to get thwacked.

"But I know what you mean. Things have been busy at the office. Judge Hollenbeck besides, things are going pretty smoothly." She leans back and drapes an arm over the back of the chair, "Though, to be honest, I could use a break and do some of the good ole bad-guy punching from time to time."

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"Yeah like, what's with this Hollaback guy already? You've namedropped him like, four times," Janet tells Jennifer. "That's usually a cue for 'I don't wanna admit it but I wanna talk about'," she observes. "What's up? Is he being a dick for no reason? Or is it some corruption thing?"

Her eyes widen. "Oooh, is it something /scandalous/?" she breathes. "No no, lemme-- I've got something-- he's not riding /you/ hard, you're riding /him/ hard. Right? Amiright? Tell me I'm right," she wheedles, and leans forward with a scandalized grin and baited breath.

Jennifer Walters has posed:
Jumping at the opportunity Jennifer leans forward conspiratorially. "Okay. So this guy. This Judge, see? He takes pedantic to a whole new level, and that's on his *good* days. See, when you're in court you kind of get into the flow of things. There's a back and forth, and a rhythm to all that. He'll interrupt this with the.." she holds up her hand, holding her thumb and forefinger just barely apart, "most nittiest things to pick. But today was especially bad."

Jen leans closer, "Rumor has it, that he caught his wife cheating." Pause. "With the DA's wife."

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"Oh my gooooodddd that is /delicious/," Janet hisses with visceral relish. "That is just insane. Wait, so, wouldn't he be um, fired? Like when you fire a judge. There's a word. Disbarred!" she says and slaps the table.

"Can't you get him disbarred? That's gotta be a major conflict of interest. Unless that's /working/ for you, because, he's pissed at the DA, right? So he'll lean towards your side of things."

Jennifer Walters has posed:
"Do you know what it takes to get a Judge disbarred?" hisses Jennifer. "There's this one Judge, down in Florida, for example, who was trying to pressure the Public Defender into getting his client to waive his right to a speedy trial." She ticks this off on a finger. "When the PD refused, the Judge got into a yelling match with him." she ticks this off on another finger. "After which, the Judge tells the PD to meet him in his back office so he could, and I shit you not on this one, 'kick his ass.'" She pauses for effect. "So the PD goes back, and everybody can hear yelling and scuffling and the Judge comes back out. No PD." Another tick on the finger. "And jokes about being an 'old man.'"

"You with me on this?" She asks. "So far this guy has tried to coerce the defense to waive their rights, assaulted the Public Defender and broke a host of other rules, but there's more." Jennifer nods. "More. At this point, when the Judge comes back he asks the defendant to waive his rights again, but the defendant just says, 'I wanna get this over with' and the Judge says, 'Well that doesn't help me.'"

"You would think this would get him disbarred right? Wrong." She slaps a hand on the table (careful to keep it light so she doesn't break the thing) "120 day suspension, $50,000 fine, and mandatory anger management classes."

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"I keep forgetting you're not /from/ New York," Janet tells Jen wryly. "That's not how you do it. With the due process and procedural shit. It's not LA Law. You need to know the right people and how to get the problem in front of them."

She taps a perfectly manicured nail to her chin. "I've got a ... well, a fixer, and he's connected with the governor's office. You decide it's time to pull the trigger-- proverbially," she hastily amends, "and I'll see what I can do to make sure the complaint's sent to the right people. You'd be amazed how much bureaucracy you can bypass with a couple tickets to a Yankee's game in the envelope."

Janet shrugs matter-of-factly. Manhattan's a ruthless place.

Jennifer Walters has posed:
Jennifer leans back in her chair. "That feels like cheating," she admits. "And besides. He does this to *everybody* not just the defense. Everybody hates him. And it's just a rumor. There's nothing provable." She looks uncertain, "I mean... you can't just *do* that right? Can't you?"

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"Are you kidding? You should have seen what I went through to get the zoning permits to remodel the flagship store. It must have cost me half a million to expedite it, let alone dealing with all the shit that Saks and that asshole Ira from Bergdorf's pulled. Union strikes, police harassment-- I got involved when someone mentioned the Mafia might show up. Turns out that capos won't take low-level harassment jobs if an Avenger threatens to shrink their car with them in it and toss it in the East Bay." Janet's eyes dance merrily-- but she doesn't sound like she's exaggerating. Or bragging.

Jennifer Walters has posed:
Jennifer winces at the mention of the Mafia. "I kind of wish I could have seen that," she admits. "I've never had any love for the Mafia. Even less so when they shot me." She grins, "If it was me, I wouldn't have bothered shrinking them and just tossed them into the bay right there and then. It's kind of nice being bulletproof."

"But still. I don't think I have it in me to get him disbarred just because I don't like him and he makes everybody's lives difficult." She sighs, "Being a miserable old shit isn't illegal, sadly."

Janet van Dyne has posed:
"God, you're as bad as Steve," Janet declares with a mournful eye-roll. "Just so painfully law-and-order. Whatever-- not gonna tell you how to live your life." Her tone conveys what an immense effort of self-restraint and humble sacrifice this decision is, and Janet fusses with her thermos while doing so.

She glances at her phone, then down the hallway, then rolls her eyes skywards. "Nadia's quick phone call isn't being so quick, which makes me think she ran home to the lab to fix it, which makes me worry if I should put Hank on standby as a bomb tech." Janet gets to her feet and slings her purse over her shoulder. The papers are quickly tidied and put into a luxury attache case, and handed off to her personal assistant who hovers unobstrusively nearby. "I'm gonna make sure she hasn't burned her inheritanace down. For real though-- clubbing, later? Yes? I'll call you?" Janet puts her fingertips to her lips and waves a kiss in Jen's general direction.

Jennifer Walters has posed:
Jennifer pshaws at being compared to Steve. "I'm not /that/ bad. Besides law-and-order is kind of my job. Says it right in the name. 'Llllawwwwyer.' But yes. Clubbing. Later. Have your people call my people. Or something."

Before Janet gets all the way out the door, she calls out to her, "Be sure to tell Nadia that I'm interested in joining GIRL!"