4473/All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
Date of Scene:	23 December 2020
Location:	Gotham Childrens Hospital
Synopsis:	Vorpal and Harley Quinn volunteer to deliver toys at the Gotham Children's Hospital. What could possibly go wrong?
Cast of Characters:	Terry O'Neil, Harley Quinn

---

Terry O'Neil has posed:
'Twas two nights before Christmas, on the hospital grounds
two people were working and hushing their sounds,
since toys they had brought for the children in care
of the nurses and doctors who worked everywhere
while children were nestled asleep in their gurneys.
Two people brought treats to bring ease to their journeys :
Harley in her colors and Vorpal in a cap
shall bring toys to children, adrift in their nap.

"Do we have everything?" the Cheshire cat asks his Harlequin friend, as the rented truck is brought to the service entrance where all of the charity donations were processed. It was a busy night and there was a line of cars, so they had a little time to check to make sure the sizable contributions in the back of the van were complete. He had no idea how Harley had managed to rack up that many toy donations in such a short time-- all he knew was that no children or innocents were harmed in the process. And that was good enough for him.!

"After this, ya wanna get a burger somewhere? I'm starving," the cat says, looking over at the Harlequin, "Maybe Rabbit Hole back to N'yawk and grab April for food- knowing her, she's probably working overtime on that holiday podcast episode and will need someone to rescue her." He tilts his head, the jaunty Santa cap jingling as he moves.

Harley Quinn has posed:
For one of the first times in her life for this clown,
She was coming to the hospital without a gown,
it was time and the season of joy,
and she being here was no ploy.
Instead this was Harley dressed like a jester,
here to spread gifts and not pester!

"Lock and loaded!" Is Harley's response. Which on hindsight.., might not be the best choice of words. But when Terry had mentioned the charity and bringing some joy to the children of Gotham Harley had jumped to the opportunity, using her contacts to get quite the contributions going. Never ask her *how* she got so many though! But the harlequin's reputation still had weight in the right circles..

"Yea, let's stock up on burgahs and have a night at April's aftah. She will like it! I need ta bring her icecream now that she ain't with Crazy Casey anymoouh!" Icecream. The great problem solver. The jingles on her cap bob back and forth as she opens the back of the truck, checking the various boxes with toys. She opens her arms. "Look at that, what a haul!" She says of their plunder. "Kids will love it!"

The tight fit dark and red outfit, along with that cap, on hindsight, is perhaps not the best of clothing options considering they are in Gotham.., and the kind of stuff she did while IN it. Buuuuut, kids will most likely not know of it, at least not in a nefarious manner.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
And yet whilst they were cheering their sizable haul
they remained unawares of the fierce, foulsome gall
of the drivers all warm in a brand new sedan
that was shiny and brought all the way from Japan-
At the wheel one man turned and then said to his friend
"Hey you guys, there they are. Now, you gotta pretend-."

"Sounds good to me!" Vorpal says, coming out of the van to the other side of the back doors as Harley takes stock. To add to the Santa cap, he was also wearing something that made him look vaguely elf-like, with reds and whites, greens and gold ornaments, in the hopes that it would draw attention from Harl's outfit. "You've done a good job, I'm proud of ya," the Cheshire gives Harley a grin.

Unnoticed, the men in the sedan had parked just behind one of the buildings, and, circumventing in the shadows (for Gotham is one of those cities that, no matter how much dmned lighting you throw at it, is somehow manages to produce an overabundance of shadows), come around to the van. They are dressed in clothing that matches what most of the workers are wearing, including the lanyards. It's very convicing.

"Awright then, looks like we gots ourselves quite a load!" one of the men, tall and burly and looking more like a bouncer than a volunteer or a nurse, says with a toothy grin.
"Sure is!" says a smaller man by his side, thin an willowy with pinched fcial features. "Somethin' this large, we gotta take 'round to the other door."
"Ya gotta gives us the keys and we'll just go empty it out and bring it back."

Vorpal frowns at this, "Uh... can't we just drive it ourselves?"
"Nah" the burly man says, "Ya can't 'cause it's-- it's"
"It's like valet parking. But with toys. Y'see." the thin man comes to the rescue.

There are two other men who are currently moving towards the driver and passenger side doors, the Cheshire cat looks a little dubious. "Well, I could just call the administrator, she knows we're coming..."

One of the men might look familiar to Harley. Or maybe not. Is it a trick of the shadows, or is someone trying to pull a fast one?

Harley Quinn has posed:
Valet Parking?! Harley wasn't aware this was the Four Seasons,
sounds more to her like treason!
And isn't that Buck the Truck?
If so they are shit out of luck,
For this clownette is here for fun
but this is more of an hit and run!

But first things first... Harley was smiling like a chesire cat when Terry says she did a good job. There *is* some story behind how she got all that. But nope, she ain't telling. Of course that the approach of these goons may have something to do with it. Not that Harley is aware that this was actually being used to haul something *else* inside them.. At least some of the toys..

"Yay, santa helpahs!" She exclaims when the men approach. And oooh, with burly muscles.. Harley approves, offering a wink at the larger one and .... Hol' up.. Ain't that BUCK?! The nickname truck was nicely given due to both being built like a truck and driving for shit. They guy had wrecked more stolen cars in bank jobs and other such fun activities in the past. It had come to a point that Joker wanted him shot on sight if he ever came close to a car while they were out on a heist. Suffice to say, the man had made sure to not be close to their endeavors after.

"Thought you ain't supposed ta be neah trucks anymoouh, Buck.." she says, "Woikin' foh the hospital now?" Harley isn't that convinced, quirking a brow up and placing her hands on her hips.

A look is given to Terry. Yep! Something smells fishy here! (And they aren't even close to Gotham Harbor)

Terry O'Neil has posed:
There's fish in the air, and it's not from the sea,
Something that Harley could very well see-
And the goons were ashiver, aquiver and tense
because their ex-boss's ex-squeeze is now on the fence,
since she's playing do-gooder they have to act fast
or they'll end in the river with shoes concrete-cast!
For never will ever a gangster relent
'til they get all the dough that is meant to be spent

The Truck stares at Harley with eyes as wide as headlights. To the build of an ox, nature had conspired to add brains that matched, and thus the man was far more competent with a pointed gun than a pointed question.

"I...er... yes!" he says, nodding his head at Harley, "I work for the hospital now. This hospital. Right here!"

You see more convincing performances on amateur youtube channels, that's for sure. Vorpal is starting to get /very/ suspicious now. "Okay, then let me call the supervisor and I can verify your credentials. I'm sure everything's just fi-"

There is something every Gothamite learns. Whenever you are in Gotham, do /not/ leave your keys in the car. Even if you are right there. The carjacking industry in Gotham is considered one of the best in the world, 10/10 would definitely steal again, speedy and efficient service!

Everything happens very quickly. While Vorpal is pulling the phone, The Truck slams the back doors shut and lets out a yell. The goons at the front pile in through the front doors like clowns into a clown car (sorry, Harley!) and before our two heroes can react immediately, they're breathing exhaust as the truck takes off like a bat out of hell, badly denting one of the cars in line ahead of it and screeching out towards the night traffic.

Buck, however, was left behind. Woe betide him.

"Our--- the kids' toys! Harl we gotta do something!" Vorpal cries out, pointing. He isn't running- he's still recovering from his sprained ankle, and thus he is not his usual sleek, acrobatic self.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Those sons of a gun!
Leaving our plucky heroes in a stun..
For who would steal gifts for a child!?
Only in their dreams most wild..
Smoke is left in their wake,
but even so our heroes won't shake...
For now Harley brings a flashlight to bear,
villains everywhere beware!

Truth be told, Harley had brought that flashlight to play some pranks on the kids while they were delivering gifts... And well, what were goons but big kids who needed a good spanking? All in the holiday spirit of course!

As the truck is moving away at speed she points it at the car right in front of them... It reverses it .., in this case the car appearing as if it's driving *towards* them, headlights beaming. It makes the driver steer away to another lane, most likely all panicky inside, hitting a curb and the sound of a tire going flat being heard. Not that they stop. Tenacious little buggers! But they are slowed at least...

"Damn it!" Harley curses when her ploy doesn't work. And how does she get revenge? By cheapshot punching poor Buck on the jaw. It makes him drop instantly.. Of course that, on hindsight, perhaps she could had asked him where the hideout was... Ooops! But a clownette always acts by impulse!

"Can ya get us in theah with one o' yoh wormholes?!" She asks, perhaps unsure on the full range of Terry's powers. But she is already moving forth to try and intercept a car in the traffic so they can follow the truck. She's a licensed bounty hunter! It's like one step away from a full fledged cop right? Citizen's arrest!

Terry O'Neil has posed:
So they swerved to the left, and they swerved to the right
and that truck made all traffic to scatter on sight.
but with tires so flat they could work as a plate
their appointment a mess, these crooks might be late!

"Actually--- I can!" the Cheshire cat brightens up, hobbling after Harley, "I know what the inside of that truck looks like so I can Rabbit Hole us there... they won't be expecting us! But it'll be tight quarters. You ready to deliver some knuckle sandwiches for Christmas dinner, Doctor Q?" Vorpal grins and raises a hand to point at one spot on the ground, signaling that that is where he's going to summon the rabbit hole.

"On one... two... THREE!"

And the Rabbit Hole opens with a view of the inside of the truck, and a good view of one of the goons from the side. They haven't noticed the hole has opened.... yet.

Vorpal makes an 'after you' gesture, and grins.

Harley Quinn has posed:
They may have entered the truck like clowns,
But everyone knows who has the crown...
Doctor Quinn!
The one with the wicked grin..

Portal is open. Knuckle sandwiches for dinner?
Lets see who will be the winner..
One, two, three...
*pow* *pow* *pow* Sting like a bee!
Float like a butterfly!
All the hooligans start sayin' bye-bye!

Don't go and steal from a clownette and a cheshire,
Unless you want to end up in a mire!

Terry O'Neil has posed:
And so it was said, in Gotham that day
that the children were happy, and bright, and were gay
when the toys were recovered and were given to them
except those that had something bizarre in the hem-
"Oh Sufferin' Sappho, oh great Caesar's ghost!"
said Vorpal, the more-pal, the cat with the most
"There's diamonds and rubies and pearls and whatnot-
I think, Harl my buddy, that this merch is all hot!"
And back behind bars went the gemstone-mad thieves
away for a count that you wouldn't believe,
and penned down their names into Santa's long list
of all ne'er do-wellers who got him all pissed!
"I'm famished, I'm fainting, I could eat a whole horse,"
said Vorpal when homewards they had set their course
"But tell me one thing, for I have a great care-
How on Earth did those contraband dolls end up there?"
And the answer might be true or false, hard to tell,
when clownettes are involved some things might go to hell.
And the Cheshire frowns as he leans on the wheel,
looking up through the windshield where the sky's grey as steel,
"Tell me, was that the radio, and a trick of the light-
Or was that a jingle, a sleigh up in the night?"
And of one reassurance we can all take part:
though her methods are wonky, at least Harley has heart.