4860/Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right

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Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right
Date of Scene: 24 January 2021
Location: Nessa's Apartment, NYC
Synopsis: Katsumi comes to collect her suitcase from Nessa's apartment. Everything goes wrong in an attempt to make right.
Cast of Characters: Nessa Donovan, Katsumi Oshiro

Nessa Donovan has posed:
It's been a long day. While Nessa got a call to go into work, she rejected it. Staring at her apron and nametag, it certainly didn't feel particularly like something important at the moment despite her usual desire to help. Instead, she's spent most of it going between energetic apartment cleaning to simply sitting sullenly on the couch, staring at Katsumi's suitcase.

After a while of waiting and having cleaned most of the apartment's surfaces already, she'd ended up on the couch, barely managing to doze off, throw blanket that she'd given Katsumi for the night half covering her.

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
Katsumi Oshiro had a much more active day. She tried running to set off the magical effect. Nothing. She gave someone money to chant 'Swan Song'. Nothing. The guy thought he was joining a cult. She had to run away from that one. She might have even tried sobbing for a while. Though that one was more unavoidable than intentional. The more she ran out of potential triggers, the less she could keep the pressure and weight of her situation and feelings from tearing her down. Finally, the dam had to break. She had to find an alleyway and let it out, alone, in the cold.

Eventually, she couldn't put it off any longer. She needed shelter. Warmth. A distraction. But she also needed her belongings. The idea of facing Nessa again made a knot in the pit of her stomach. There's really nothing she could do about it. No one she could send in her stead. She doesn't really know anyone. So she winds her way back to Nessa's doorstep.

Her right fist raises, then hesitates. Is this really it? There's no other way than to have to face Nessa? Ms. Donovan couldn't possibly have known how happy she made Katsumi simply by being with her, by making her feel wanted. And now, the rug pulled from under her, she has to face her again? This is gonna hurt. Just endure it. Cry more at a hotel afterwards. She fights people for a living, this should be okay. But it isn't.

With a hard gulp, bathed in the fading golden glow of the setting sun, Katsumi timidly knocks her knuckles against the door.

Nessa Donovan has posed:
The knock is enough to startle Nessa from her light sleep, really having only intended to shut her eyes for a moment in the first place. She scrambles up to her feet, hurrying towards the door and flinging it open quickly. It's a lot harder to look at Katsumi standing there than she thought, but she steps aside to let her in.

"It's cold out there, I was worried." Worried in more than one way.

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
"I'm fine," Katsumi lies, her voice flat, low, and in a guarded, hushed tone. Her head bows, her inhuman gaze trained firmly to her feet. She shuffles stiffly into the apartment and briefly considers clarifying her intent, but it feels like an oddly bitter thing to say. Like she's inviting strife, or more pain. She just moves to the couch, noting it had been used since she was asleep on it last. She slept on it to avoid stressing Nessa out and potentially hurting herself by getting too close. They joked about it at the ramen shop, but Katsumi didn't want to push it. She wanted to be a good guest.

She focuses her gaze on something else to chase the train of thought away. She moves silently to her luggage and crouches, unzipping her duffel. Socks are collected and stuffed into the bag.

Nessa Donovan has posed:
"Kat, I offered you a place to stay because I care. You don't have to just leave, it's not as if you're suddenly not important," Nessa's finding it difficult to find words to explain herself. Even if Katsumi doesn't seem to want a conversation, she's not about to just let it all go. She moves to stand behind the couch, leaning against it as she watches.

"I don't want you to think that this doesn't matter. That all of it doesn't matter. When I say you're important, I mean it. None of that has gone anywhere. Just stay? As far as I know you don't really have a place to go and there's no reason for you to just leave."

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
"I can't just go back to 'just friends'," Katsumi replies, sinking to her knees. But at least she's paused stuffing clothing into the duffel. "Maybe I'm f***ed up like that. But I can't."

Her head lifts to steal a tired glance up at Nessa, but quickly shies away again.

"So I can't stay. I'll figure it out. Get a hotel room. Got a fight later tonight, anyway. Make some money that way."

Nessa Donovan has posed:
Nessa's frown deepens. "So you're just going to stop being friends with me? As if none of that mattered or ever did? Kat, I'm not lying when I say you're incredibly important to me. That doesn't just change because things are complicated. To just say you can throw all of it away in a heartbeat is..."

She doesn't want to finish that thought. "You've been through a lot recently. Stress doesn't help the situation at all. Regardless of if you feel upset, you shouldn't just leave. You need somewhere safe to be, and you need to not be alone. Don't just throw it all away like it's worthless."

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
"You have no idea how much this hurts," Katsumi says to her knees. "I could wait for you forever as long as we were waiting together. But it's just me. Alone, just in your company. Always wondering what I did. What changed. Why you stopped-" She swallows. "-feeling the same way about me. Was it just.. spur of the moment for you? I dunno. But I was happy. Really, really happy. And now..."

She stuffs a Hello Kitty pair of slippers into the duffel.

"I'm used to being alone. It's not safe for me to be /here/. It'll kill me."

Nessa Donovan has posed:
"I don't have any idea how much this hurts? Kat, you aren't the only one here. I may have ice magic, but I'm not cold-hearted. You think I feel fantastic right now?" Nessa frowns, leaning against the couch a bit. "I don't feel differently, Kat. But I know that this is an emotionally vulnerable time. You hurt someone you didn't mean to and sent them to the hospital. You lost a career and stayed in this country because you were afraid that when you went back someone might try to nab you for an experiment or something. And you had to make that decision in an /hour/."

She shakes her head. "And now because we're in an incredibly complicated situation and I want to not rush, you're going to just throw away everything we mean to each other? Why does it have to be all or nothing, Katsumi? It spits in the face of everything. Like it has no meaning."

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
Katsumi Oshiro pauses again, scowling at the duffelbag. "You keep saying that. I don't think you get it. I don't want all-or-nothing. I just want you. You stopped wanting /me/."

Her head lifts again to look up at Nessa, expression pinched into a frown. "You're not just 'not rushing', but you're canceling what we had. Right? You and me, no longer a thing. Did I misunderstand that? Are you still wanting to date me? Because it sounds like you decided /you/ made a mistake and got cold feet. I was happy just... just knowing we were together. I didn't make moves on you or anything, it was just the fact that it was us."

After a beat, she refocuses on the duffelbag. Her cheeks heat up as she hurriedly stuffs an errant bra into the bag. Stupid unmentionables, undermining the seriousness of the moment.

Nessa Donovan has posed:
"Did I kiss you and like it? Yes. I never said I didn't. I never said you weren't incredibly important to me, I never said I didn't want you around. But this all changed very, very quickly and I'm still trying to figure it all out. It's a huge thing on top of other huge things you're dealing with."

Nessa shifts her weight from foot to foot, glancing at the door for a moment. "I'm not throwing away anything from what we had. Do you honestly think I just open up to just anyone? I've taken so many risks, made myself incredibly vulnerable. I put myself out there in ways that I was terrified about. But you want to just ignore that? I said people don't just stop caring overnight."

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
"Ugh..." Katsumi pauses stuffing the duffelbag. "I rushed you," she concludes. "I felt.. something.. for you, and you were overwhelmed with it. Fine. Now you're wanting to hit the brakes on it. Also fine. I wouldn't want to force you to be with me, anyway. But you can't- you just can't take that away from me and ask me to be okay with it. And you can't tell me I'm being bad for wanting to not hurt. I-if trying to cope means you hate me, I-..."

Keeping her head down, another sniff escapes her.

"Dammit.. don't make me cry again. I've been enough of a b**** today."

Nessa Donovan has posed:
"I'm not asking you not to feel anything. I never said you didn't have to feel justified in being hurt over this. What hurts me, though, is how easily you want to toss away the rest of everything. I'm not expecting you to just be okay, I'm expecting you to not just run the hell off."

Nessa moves to stand in front of the door. "I never hated you, Kat. Quite the opposite. You really think for one second that I hate you? That you aren't important to me? I'm honestly surprised that you don't know me that well."

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
"W-well, screw you!," Katsumi snaps. "I'm not the one who tossed it away, you are! I'm the one who got thrown away! And you're twisting me because I'm trying /desperately/ to keep myself together! You don't get to take one of the most special things I had away from me, then call me a jerk for needing space! If you didn't feel the same way about me, you ***damn well should've /said so/! At /any/ point there! I could've taken it! Would'a hurt, sure, but it would've just been embarrassing and I'd be like 'okay wow misfire ha-ha'! But that's not what happened! You kissed me back! You made me think I had someone special! And now you're gonna f***ing guilt trip me for wanting away when you say 'psyche'!"

Blustery, Katsumi paws under the couch to find some missing clothing. She's pretty sure she's found most of it by now. She wasn't here more than a couple days!

"Talking like this is f***ing /easy/... the reason I felt that way about you is /because/ of what we had! So to me? You threw that away. /You/ did." She redoubles her efforts, scooting the couch a little. Frustrated, she gives up. No stray article or accessory of clothing is worth revisiting the heartache. She begins zipping up the duffelbag.

Nessa Donovan has posed:
"So because I need time that somehow means I don't care? You're in an incredibly unique position with me. This is entirely uncharted waters. So the fact that I want to stop and get my bearings before anything else is too much for you to handle that you have to forget how close we are?"

Nessa stubbornly stands in front of the door. "You aren't listening to a word I said. If you're trying to make me some villain in all of this, like it's all my fault, then maybe I misplaced my trust in you this entire time. You'd rather not even have me in your life than to let me have time to process anything. Hell, time for /you/ to process anything. Stop acting like some righteous martyr and listen to me."

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
"I asked you, point blank, if you wanted to date! And you dodged that question like a bullet!," Katsumi counters. "You think I didn't notice that s***? You /rejected/ me, Nessa! You /hurt/ me. What do you want from me? You wanna be able to do that and, and me to act like that /doesn't/ change the way I feel about you? Well, it does! It f***ing does! Because you /hurt/ me!"

Katsumi finally gets to her feet to face her.

"How f***ing selfish do you have to be to do that and then demand I act like we're still on great terms? Because we're not. Neeed me to say it again? You! Hurt! Me! The ice? That stuff? I can take that. But I let you in, too. I let my guard down. And you might've done that with me, too. But you're the one who- who struck. Not me. You wanna just, just beat me up? Is that what this is about? You get to hurt me, but I don't get to do s*** about it? Fine! Hit me! Do it again!"

Nessa Donovan has posed:
"Katsumi, will you listen for a damn minute? I keep telling you that it's fine to hurt over this. I'm not pretending we're on great terms, but what I do know is that you're burning a bridge and you don't seem to care. I pump the breaks and you decide to jump out of the car. Regardless of if I hurt you or not, Kat, you're willing to throw /all/ of it away. Everything. Every moment is so worthless that unless we jump in to exactly where you want to be /when/ you want to be that you don't even want to be around me."

Nessa crosses her arms, but stands her ground, not moving from her position. "Yelling me and blaming me and hurting me isn't going to /fix/ anything. Have an actual conversation with me."

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
As Nessa talks, warm tears simply fall unattended down Katsumi's cheeks. Her gaze is set hard on the blonde across from her. How did the day go so wrong?

Her voice is shakey. "Tell me what you want from me. Tell me how I'm allowed to cope with being dumped."

Nessa Donovan has posed:
"I don't know, Kat. I'm not really in a position to give you advice on feelings or relationships because, y'know, new territory. I'm flying blind on this. But what I do know is that you're trying to run because you're hurt. Deal with it how you like, however you see fit, but throwing away everything? Ignoring everything we've gone through and acting like it didn't mean anything?"

Nessa shrugs. "If you're looking for a way to hurt me because you're hurt, that's the way to do it. If you're looking for a way to fix things, then don't just run from me. But you have to decide if hurting me or fixing things is what you want, because I'm not moving from this spot until you decide."

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
"It sounds a lot like the girl who just broke my heart is calling me a bad person for not wanting to hang out with her," Katsumi replies. "A-am I wrong about that?"

Her hands raise limply in a shrug, lacking the will to commit to the gesture. "What does 'fixing' things even mean? Going back to what we were before? Convincing you that I'm worth being with? What's the goal? Because when I make moves, I seem to destroy everything."

Nessa Donovan has posed:
"It means having /something/ and having time to figure that out. That's all I even wanted in the first place. Maybe I was saying it like shit, but it's a lot all at once. You said you understood that, but you'd rather run away from me entirely than to deal with the situation."

Nessa frowns. "If you want to be angry at me, sure, be angry. But walking away entirely means you'd just rather be mad and blame me for everything than trying to figure things out. You have to accept that you're not the only one with feelings in this situation. Or does that part not matter to you? Do you care about how I feel in all of this?"

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
"You /dumped/ me, Nessa. Do you know how that feels? When someone you care about that much, who made you so happy and saw you through some of the worst times in your life, just... decides to pull out?" Katsumi's hands lift, finally making an effort to decrease the amount of moisture on her cheeks. It isn't long before her sleeves get involved. "You wanted time to figure it out, but what does /that/ mean? Because everything you've said, and all the questions you've avoided, come back to you.. not being with me. Did I really misunderstand you? I can be blunt, can't you?"

"No," Katsumi shakes her head. "This is on me." It always is. "I was stupid and read too much into it. I was happy and hopeful and you were there, and I always had you when I needed you, and... I was so f***ing dumb." Her sleeves wipe a little harder against her eyes. "And now things are wrecked again. It's my fault, but I'm still hurt. How am I supposed to be around you when being around you hurts?"

Nessa Donovan has posed:
"Gee, I don't possibly know how that feels because it's not like you're trying to do that to me in revenge. All I wanted was for us not to be jumping too far too fast while I'm still processing all of this. The fact that we're even having this conversation right now is an example for exactly why I need to sort through this. You're not even giving me half-a-second to figure out what I want and how I feel about /anything/."

But there's something in what Katsumi says that hits a nerve, and Nessa slowly shifts her weight to step to the side, leaving the path to the door unblocked. "Then don't be around me, if it hurts."

Katsumi Oshiro has posed:
Katsumi Oshiro looks increasingly wounded the more guilt is piled on. "It's not in revenge! A-and you /still/ haven't given me a straight answer! It-"

Nessa has stepped aside. Given what she says, Katsumi turns to collect the luggage. Propping the handle, she makes her way to the door and opens it. She knows what's spurred this reaction in Nessa. Pausing, she says, "The cold isn't what did this." Her mouth opens to add more, but she freezes. Turning ahead again, she wheels her luggage on out, head hung.

Nessa Donovan has posed:
"I said I don't know! I didn't realize there was a timer on the whole situation. All I wanted was for you to not abandon the situation. Not to abandon me." Nessa pauses, watching Kat as she moves out the door. "No, I know it's not the cold that did this. But you've just proved something important to me. I don't want to hurt you, so it's just better that you go. Hurting you was the farthest thing from what I wanted."