6164/You Donut Want to Go In There

You Donut Want to Go In There
Date of Scene:	09 May 2021
Location:	Hole-In One Donuts
Synopsis:	Ash and James Rhode stop for donuts at a truckstop. The trucks try to stop them.
Cast of Characters:	Ash Williams, James Rhodes

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Ash Williams has posed:
The beatup Oldsmobile parked out front with an equally beat up camper towed behind it wasn't all that unusual at the lonely little truckstop/donut joint. It was early, the Sun barely up, and Ash even less up than that judging by the worn look on his face. His mechanical hand has a firm grip on a cup of steaming coffee large enough to almost qualify as a bucket while his other holds onto a powdered donut that is barely touched. Dressed in his signature blue shirt the demonhunter groans, his head bobbing threatening to just lay on the counter and begin snoring then and there. All perfectly normal for a place like this. As long as one didn't notice the blood spatter here and there on his shirt. Clearly the waitress behind the counter had seen worse though as she keeps going about her day unperturbed.

James Rhodes has posed:
Dressed in a rather plain sports coat and equally unassuming slacks, Rhodey slips into the shop in an assuming fashion. It almost looks as if the man were trying to escape something. Slipping onto a bar stool, he extends a hand to attract the waitress's attention to order a black coffee and a very plain donut - the plainest donut possible, he insists - before slumping forward with a sigh and his gaze turns to the bars other occupant. "I think you're doing worse than I am, pal," he quips, grinning in a wide and amusing fashion for just a moment before slumping forward onto the bar and furrowing his brow.

Ash Williams has posed:
Ash's response isn't really a word, some sort of guttural grunt like a confused caveman might offer. His grip on the donut loosens letting it fall back onto a plate holding several more and he rubs at his forehead, leaving a trail of white powder behind that he seems oblivious to. His headache momentarily abated he turns bleary bloodshot eyes on the far cleaner looking new arrival. "You mean today, or life in general? Cause both are probably true," he drawls out before taking a large slurp from his coffee pail. The middle-aged waitress meanwhile heads through a door back into the kitchen to fetch Rhodey's order, a narrow window offering a view of a burly cook working back there.

"Don't get into pest extermination. Crazy hours and crazier clients," Ash advises, staring into his cup with a frown.

James Rhodes has posed:
Rolling his eyes, Rhodey chuckles as he squints toward the shops backroom before the door swings shut. "Y'know... I wish someone had offered me that advice a decade or two ago... " he muses, shrugging before propping his head up on a hand and yawning. "You ever consider a different line of work? Than... pest extermination," he queries with just a little bit of amusement, almost laughing as he considers the state of affairs and the nature of his most recent haunt. "This reminds me of a time while I was still in the Corps - granted, I didn't get to sit at a bar to order some donuts and coffee, but... it seems all too familiar. Had to take my platoon for a run and I was way too hungover for all of it,"

Ash Williams has posed:
There were many folks that were pleasant to have a conversation with. Ash wasn't one of them as he holds up his powder-stained hand in a 'stop' gesture. "Whoa buddy, don't take this the wrong way but the only way I care about your life story is if it's making me money or getting me laid, got it? Or both but, that's illegal in most states. The point is I..." Ash's rather rude interruption getting interrupted itself as there's a crash of plateware from back in the kitchen. As both men look back through the narrow window they'll see no trace of either the cook or the waitress.

The hairs on the back of Ash's neck begin to stand on end. "Uhh, hey, Maude? Flora? Look I didn't get your name but you know it's something like that, hey you back there?" Ash calls out, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He takes another big sip of coffee expecting he'll need it shortly as his eyes drift to the windows to look at his Delta parked outside. With all his weapons inside.

James Rhodes has posed:
While almost amused by the interruption, the sudden drop in the diner's air and the general mood of conversation forces Rhodey back into a professional manner. His hand drops to his hip as he follows Ash's gaze toward the back room and his eyes narrow while spinning about to allow himself a view of the rest of the dinner in some sudden extension of trust to Ash to watch the ktichen. Letting out a sigh, he shakes his head, "It's always something, isn't it? Can't even go have a donut without some kind of nonsense," he quips, pushing himself upright and slipping from the stool. "What was your name again? I'd say I missed it, but I don't think you offered it. James, or Rhodey, whatever you think is more applciable for me,"

Ash Williams has posed:
"Ash. Look it might not be anything, maybe they just stepped out for a smo-" his wishful thinking brought to a halt as a kitchen knife thunks into the counter less than an inch from his good hand. "Ahhhh shit," Ash deadpans before there's a cackling screech, the waitress from before appearing in the window. Only she looked a fair bit different than before, her skin gray, her eyes a blank white, the flesh pulled taut and her teeth razor sharp. Though it was the other kitchen knives she was brandishing in her hand that were the immediate concern.

"Hello boys! You like donuts?! How about I put a hole in you instead!" she shrieks out before she starts flinging more knives at the both of them with far more force than one would expect from a 50+ year old woman, each blade lodging itself deep into the counter or wall. Ash lets out a holler and drops off his stool to use the bar for cover, only for a knife blade to stab itself through inches in front of his nose from the Deadite's pitch.

"Yea, it's always something alright. Hey lady, you can forget a tip!" Ash hollers out. Any good feeling he might get from his quip quickly rendered moot as with a roar the kitchen door flies open, the burly cook emerging with the same zombified appearance, a meat cleaver in one hand and a large cast iron frying pan in the other.

James Rhodes has posed:
Cursing in a manner befitting a sailor - or a Marine- as a knife thumbs into the bar behind him, Rhodey drops down and casts a wild glance over to Ash. "You seem -way- too calm about all this. Are you sure we don't know each other?" he asks, flipping his sports coat aside to pull a 45 from a concealed holster and risking a glance up over the bar before another knife whizzes over his head. "I was going to tip well, too - what the hell is going on?" he snaps, craning his neck to try and listen for some kind of further assault.

Ash Williams has posed:
"Deadites!" Ash exclaims as if that somehow explains everything. The cook is charging at him now and Ash has little choice but to defend himself with what's at hand. Namely his stool as he grabs hold of it and risks standing to ward off the cook's blows with the cleaver and heavy frying pan. Big as he is himself Ash is getting pushed back, the stool cushion quickly chopped away after a few blows. "Alright then, how about you take a seat!" Ash making it rather literal as he actually takes a swing and with surprising effectiveness smacks the cleaver out of the cook's hand. Both Ash and the undead watch it sail away with a clatter before Ash grins. "Hey Jimmy, you see that, I..." his good humor short-lived as the frying pan clocks him in the face and sends him flying backwards to crash into an empty booth.

During all this the waitress has stopped throwing knives at least. In fact she almost seems to have disappeared...until Rhodey might perchance glance at the ceiling above him to see her clinging to it like a spider in an apron. Her head swivels around 90 degrees and despite no pupils it's clear she's staring at him before she lets out a shriek and drops at him.

James Rhodes has posed:
Almost rising from his cover behind the bar, Rhodey stares in an almost incredulous manner at his new 'friends' brawl with the cook, he levels his pistol at the man and aims for a shot in the ensuing melee. "I prefer Rhod-" he begins, before his instincts turn his head to the ceiling and he tosses himself down onto his back, aiming up and firing off in an -almost- undiscplined manner at the waitress, or deadite, or whatever it was, in a manner clearly unsuited to trying to kill deadites.

"Remind me to avoid wherever the hell you're hanging out!" he calls, as the shots from his pistol ring out and he quickly drops a hand from the pistol to try and fish around in the pockets of his suit for something while continuing to empty his clip. "Deal with this often, do ya?"

Ash Williams has posed:
The sad thing was Ash had by this point developed a high tolerance for head trauma. Not that it didn't stop it from HURTING like hell, but he wasn't knocked out cold at least as he groans laying on the half broken booth table. Gunfire and another roar from the cook helps wake him up fully, raising his head enough to see the cook running at him, Ash awkwardly rolling backwards off the table and standing on the booth seat just as the frying pan comes crashing down splintering the table in two.

"Aim for the head Jimmy! But don't stop with one. And yeah, I read a book once. I'll never make that mistake again," Ash explaining without actually explaining a damn thing as he kicks the cook in the face and quickly hops off the booth seat.

His advice seems well-founded though as while several of Rhodey's rounds do strike the undead waitress in the torso, they do little more than make her twitch and jerk. It's enough she misses grasping Rhodey from her initial drop off the ceiling but she's soon coming at him again, the knives gone, but her fingernails unaturally long and sharp looking at this point.

"Hey bitch!" Ash calls out, the insult enough to make the waitress momentarily stop and turn...only to get a powdered donut flung directly into her eyes. She lets out a new squeal, rubbing at her pale eyes, blinded by Ash's use of baked goods before he turns attention back to the cook who is recovered from the kick.

James Rhodes has posed:
"Last time I ever stop for a snack without my suit," Rhodey snarls, throwing a punch at the waitress in her donut induced distraction before rolling out from beneath her in the confusion and levelling his pistol to take a shot at her head. His second shot however comes up with a click and he stares almost incredulously at the gun before his hand drops to his hip to reach for another clip, even as the mag in his gun drops to the floor. "This -doesn't- normally happen!" he calls, trying to reload as the waitress lunges at him and starts to struggle with her for control of the muzzle's direction.

"You deal with this a lot huh?!" he yells, throwing a quick elbow at the waitress and firing off a shot to try and finish her with a shot to the head before his eyes dart toward Ash and the cook.

Ash Williams has posed:
Ash starts actually trying to brawl with the cook, his mechanical hand having enough oomph to slam his opponent back, his other hand scrabbling at another table for something to use and coming up with...a fork. He looks at it a moment before he shrugs and as the cook swings again he punches the frying pan with his metal fist, a perfect fist shape indent appearing in the metal and causing the cook to stumble, giving Ash enough time to plunge the fork into his head. The cook roars, the fork only causing some pain, not enough to stop him as he slams ash backwards and starts advancing again, the fork still stuck in his head.

"Oh, for about 20 years now or so pretty regularly," Ash confirms, his eyes roaming about the donut shop in search of something else that might help and winding up staring at the lights that hang down by a cord over each booth. His eyes flick from the fork to the lights and back again.

"Hey ugly, the only thing worse than the mug on you is your cooking. I've had better gluten-free donuts than that crap you were making," he insults. There's still something of a cook's pride in the monster who obligingly rushes at Ash as he moves in front of a booth, and then pivots like a matador, Ash even calling out "OLE!" as the cook crashes into the table. As he starts to sit up though he's greeted by Ash grabbing the light and with a yank that pulls it partway from the ceiling he smashes the lightbulb down over the fork. The lights in the building flicker and the deadite begins to jitter, then smoke, and then his whole head bursts into flames as a gut-churning smell fills the air.

For Rhodey things seem to have gone far smoother though, the single gunshot to the head having dropped the waitress straight away. As Ash saunters over he looks down at the waitress and claps Rhodes on the shoulder. "Hey good job Jimmy. I mean, you had the little one. And the woman. And you had a gun. But I mean it was still good...how many times did you shoot her in the head by the way?" Ash's concerns about his pride brought to a screeching halt as the waitress's eyes fly open. One bullet to the head stop a Deadite? Not hardly as the fallen zombie reaches out and grabs both men by the ankles and pulls sending them sprawling onto their backs even as she leaps to her feet with a vicious cackle.

James Rhodes has posed:
Moving to interfere in Ash's fight with the cook, Rhodey stops and stares in the most ridiculous of fashions at his treatment of the situation as he finishes off the cook. He let's out a sigh, shaking his head as Ash approaches him and he makes a show of brushing his coat off before shrugging. "I have some friends, you might like them. Especially this kid..." he replies, sighing and glancing at his gun.

As soon as the waitress springs back into activity, Rhodey literally jumps in surprise to lift his weapon and fire off a few shots at her head - the only thing saving his aim being training, as wide eyes stare down the top of his pistol's sights. "What in the... Ash? What the hell is this bullshit?" he asks, clearly fed up and reaching an end to his nerves as his head ticks to the side for a moment.

"Do Is this what you deal with on a regular basis? Who the... - " he pauses, shaking his head and stepping over the fallen waitress to fire another shot into her head. "Is this something you encounter regularly? What the -hell- is this bullshit?" he exclaims, clearly at wits end.

Ash Williams has posed:
"There see, three in the head, know they're dead. Isn't that a military thing? No?" Ash seeming momentarily puzzled as he tries to remember where it's from. But most assuredly the military wasn't teaching to waste three bullets on every cranium where one would usually do. Usually. Ash steps over to grab his coffee as the cook's body finally collapses from the light fixture as the fork melts itself free. The less said about the charred head the better, Ash taking his time with a long sip before he lets out a pleased 'ahhhh' and leans back on the knife-riddled counter.

"Anyway those my friend are Deadites. Demonic spirits that infest the souls of mankind and turn them into those things. I've been hunting them down for 20 years now and they've been hunting me right back. But I'm still standing and a whoooooooooole lotta them ain't. I don't know what you're complaining about, should consider it lucky we were the only two here. Imagine if some trucker got..." is as far as he gets before the wall of the truckstop explodes, a big rig slamming through and crashing its way all the way back into the kitchen. The driver not surprisingly having very blank, very white eyes.

James Rhodes has posed:
Rolling his eyes - not one unaccustomed to the bizarre - Rhodey goes to grab an energy drink from a cooler while glancing about the truck stop. "Doubt they'll mind... i'll leave something at the table," he quips, cracking it up while listening to Ash's explanation of things. He seems only vaguely phased, squinting slightly at the mention of 'demonic spirits' before waving a hand about and beginning to respond. "Sure - I guess it's not any crazier than the -"

His reply is interrupted as the truck explodes through the side of the stop, a flurry of carbonated drinks and rubble exploding as the rig flies through the wall. Rhodey dives instinctucally as the rig comes through, trying to tackle Ash out of harm's way and as he ends up on the ground, with or without his new 'friend', his hand juts into a pocket, reaching for a device to call his power armor. "Ash! Can you tell them i'm -not- with you?!"

Ash Williams has posed:
Ash slams on the ground as shards of glass and wood rain down around them, Rhodey atop him from the tackle. The truck's loud horn is blaring making hearing anything he says a challenge, Ash woozy as he pushes Rhodes off and struggles to stand, fresh air streaming into the diner through it's new extra large window. "What?! No, hey look you're alive WAY longer already than most people I know around these. It's not so bad!" Rhodey had been alive with Ash for all of about maybe ten minutes thus far, it was not a good sign that this was considered above average.

"Hey get outta there and fight like a man!" Ash challenges the Deadite trucker within...who does no such thing as worryingly the truck's many tires spin and it rapidly backs up out of the diner and starts to realign itself for another run. "Crap crap crap, RUN!" Ash advises as he breaks left through the rubble, another slam on the small building more than likely going to cave in the entire building.

James Rhodes has posed:
"As if you had to tell me!" Rhodey calls, pushing himself up throwing a glance over his shoulder as he keys in on the device in his hand that looks like a Palm Pilot that had somehow survived and advanced to modern day. Crashing through the other door, he calls recklessly to the device, "Yeah yeah - I need War Machine NOW - quit the protocol and lock on my position!" he shouts, stuffing the PDA in his pocket as he tries to turn and fire a flurry of wild shots at the truck plowing through the rest stop.

"Maybe they just get pissed off at how you're taunting them?!" he yells, trying to level himself into a stable shooting platform as the truck works it's way through the building and he tries to aim for the driver admist it all.

Ash Williams has posed:
Ash barrels out of the building just in time as the truck's second pass carries it through all the way, the better part of the building collapsing in on itself while bits of the roof remain perched on the truck's hood. It cuts a wide turn around, its lack of manueverability at least working in their favor as Ash runs to his car and finally gets out his literal big gun, a twelve gauge double barrel shotgun. He twirls it once in his good hand before leveling it at the truck, being sure to step well away from his car. He didn't want them charging at his baby. "If they don't want me taunting them then they should stop making themselves so damn ugly. Now calm down Jimmy, all he has is a truck, we've got guns. Hell we've got him outnumbered too, piece of...cake," Ash trailing off as the zombie trucker's wide turn doesn't take him back towards them, but rather lining up with two other big rigs that are pointed at them with drivers equally terrifying looking. "We may have a problem Jimmy," Ash undersells the issue while keeping his gun level.

James Rhodes has posed:
Sprinting past Ash's car, "Outnumbered, yeah!" he quips, running for open ground as a scream opens up overhead and the War Machine slams down into the open truck stop. The AI inside already runs threat assessment algorithms and as the suit's backside opens up to accept Rhodey a chain gun on the suit's shoulder begins to open up on the initial truck driver, while still not recognizing his new comapanions as threats. "Yeah, outnumbered huh? Should we expect the entire highway to turn on us?" he yells, more than a little furious, the last of his speech amplified by the suit's voice amplifier as he begins to mount into it.

Ash Williams has posed:
The three trucks charge together...and then only two are charging as War Machine's minigun shreds the driver and most of the truck's upper half in a hail of gunfire. Zombie or not the unarmored vehicles didn't stand much of a chance. Which wasn't making Ash feel much good still on the ground holding nothing more than a shotgun. "What in the hell is...you been holding out on me Jimmy?!" his jealousy quickly overwhelmed by the sight of the other two trucks still barreling at HIM. "GET THE OTHER ONES, GET THE OTHER ONES!" he cries out frantically, firing his gun, the slugs doing nothing to stop either truck.

James Rhodes has posed:
"I'm working on it!" Rhodey yells, bringing the suits full suite of weapons online as the trucks barrel toward them and the armor seals about him. Arms lift toward either cab, while shoulder mounted rocket pods open up and release their payload and the War Machine armor proceeds to shred the pair of trucks in a flurry of Stark Tech fueled gunfire. "Remind me to avoid hanging out with you!" he yells, activating the suits boosters to propel himself forward to try and interdict any rubble that might be heading for his new 'friend'. "We -aren't- doing this again. You're a hoot, but next time we have donuts, it's in Manhattan," he calls, levelling the full force of his suits firepower to drag all three trucks to a stop in a hail of gunfire.

Ash Williams has posed:
The world in front of Ash becomes nothing but bullets, fire, and steel shrapnel. There was no way he could run or dodge in time. The scream he lets out is far from the manliest thing as both trucks come at him even as they're being torn to shreds and he turns away and ducks down, hands over his head like that would matter. There's a loud THUMP as War Machine lands in front of him and then...he's not dead, the noise coming to a halt. Or he's gone deaf. His ears are in fact ringing as he lifts his head and finally stands up on wobbly knees, looking at the two barely recognizable hunks of truck that have slid to a stop, most of them on fire. He blinks several times and then raises a hand slowly before clapping it on War Machine's armored shoulder as he stands in front of him shielding him.

"Good...good job Jimmy. Knew you could do it. You and your, tank suit. Course you have a tank suit...hey listen I need to go change my pants so uh, I'll just, yea, be on my way. Donuts on me next time," Ash agrees, seemingly in a daze as he shuffles towards his Oldsmobile, clearly stunned by what just happened.