6506/=Too good to be true.

=Too good to be true.
Date of Scene:	09 June 2021
Location:	Peggy's House Pre-Framework.
Synopsis:	Nightmares stray into the waking world, Peggy talks Bucky down as she always does, promises are made that neither one may be able to keep and she didn't even burn dinner.
Cast of Characters:	James Barnes, Peggy Carter

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James Barnes has posed:
    How did Peggy and Bucky end up in the house alone together on a Sunday afternoon with everything else that's going on? Don't look a gift horse or something, right? Because gift horses are always too good to be true.
    Bucky's spent the quiet time ... sketching? Well, that's a little different. A throwback to his 'old' life for sure. He's rusty, but he's still good at it. ...even if what he draws today is a little darker than what he drew back then.
    But the quiet got the better of him and now he's sound asleep on the sofa, sketchpad on his chest, pencil about to drop to the floor from his right hand. His mouth's hanging open just a touch. He's even snoring. Well, it's good to see him sleeping right?

Peggy Carter has posed:
Since the fall of SHIELD, this house has seen more activity than any time since Daniel Sousa's death in 1956. With Vogel, head of HYDRA's more fanatical divsion, prisoner in the basement, it's a rule that two agents must be present at all points in time. Daniel and May have both gone off for another mission, which means it's simply Peggy and Bucky holding down the literal fort from HYDRA trying to reclaim their prize, or anyone else bothering the house.

Peggy still is a fairly horrible cook, but with sometimes half a dozen SHIELD agents living in her old home at any point in time now, she's tried to have group meals when she can. That means today she's just finishing putting the last bits of beef and Guiness stew into the crockpot to run the rest of the afternoon and until she sees who actually makes it 'home' for dinner. The lid on, she steps back into the living room, still expecting him to be awake, "Well, I don't think I burn-..." And then she goes quiet, noticing him dead asleep there. She falls silentn then, a faint brush of a soft smile on her lips. She creeps over to him now, gingerly reaching down to try and slip the sketch pad out of his hands. If she can set that aside and get him covered with a blanket? She'll consider it success.

James Barnes has posed:
    She shoots! She scores! The swapping of the sketch pad for blanket doesn't even make Bucky stir in the slightest. He must be really, really tired. The sketch pad itself might be a little disturbing. It's sort of a self-portrait with Bucky standing in the center of what appears to be a swirling mess of shadows. From the shadows, ghoul-like faces scream in agony while long, skeletal fingers reach out for him. In the picture, Bucky's clearly wearing his uniform from the war.
    Lili's nearby, laying on the floor near the sofa. She looks up and gives Peggy a plaintive little whine as she sniffs the air... and the scent of beef wafting on it.

Peggy Carter has posed:
Catching sight of the sketch pad makes something in Peggy's heart hurt. She lets out a deep breath, staring back down at her old friend, "Oh, James..." She breathes out softly, one hand reaching down to very gently comb back some of that dark hair behind an ear. Now, no longer worried that she is going to wake him and end up flung across the room, she gently secures the blanket a bit more around him and shifts down to his feet to at least get his boots off. He deserves a comfortable sleep. All her motions are protective and gentle, nothing made to jerk or awaken. She's done this several times for tired old soldiers before.

With Lili's little whine, she looks down to the canine and gives a softer smile. "Shhh... Your dad is sleeping and you'll get dinner with everyone else. I promise." She coos gently in the dog's direction.

James Barnes has posed:
    He's fast, Bucky is *fast*. That is to say the Winter Soldier is *fast*. One second Bucky is fast asleep on the sofa and the next? He's up and attempting to wrap his left hand around Peggy's throat. A gift horse of a day is always too good to be true, right? Did something happen? Did his programming go haywire? ...or is he even *awake*. Those intense blue eyes of his are unfocused and distant enough to indicate that it might be that last choice.
    Lili scrambles from the floor and begins to bark. Confused, she doesn't know how to react at first. That's her master, but he's hurting someone she considers pack... or trying to. BARKbarkBARKbarkgrowlSNARLbark!

Peggy Carter has posed:
There is no panic in Peggy's reactions. There is nothing but a highly trained woman who knows that one of her best friends is not actually trying to kill her, but doesn't necessarily know that himself. Even as memories of 50 years ago flash hard before her eyes, the time he did nearly succeed, she's reacting quicker than he can in his sleep. Her hand comes up, putting one hand firmly between his arm and her throat. She's not fighting back against him, she's simply getting in a position to buy herself some time to breathe and, if necessary, put him in an arm lock. Hopefully it wouldn't be necessary that she actually fights.

"JAMES. BUCHANAN. BARNES. Stand DOWN." Peggy's voice snaps out, each word a commanding, firm order, even as her voice is slightly strained with the barely held back choking of her throat. But she won't show weakness. She's been his superior officer before and is again now. "Lili, DOWN. I have him!"

James Barnes has posed:
    "It's not personal," Bucky murmurs in Russian. It's the mission. But that's before she's yelling at him. It's not immediate, but her voice does reach through his sleep and into his mind and then... into his heart. His eyes clear and widen. He staggers back away from Peggy, then further... across the room, putting distance between himself and her. He trips and ends up on his ass against the wall.
     "Nononono..." he mumbles. Blue eyes dart to the door, he's considering it, rabbiting, running away from the moment, of the lingering feeling of his hand...
    Lili settles down when commanded but she's still whining. When Bucky goes staggering back, she moves to follow. She keeps her distance and lays down to belly crawl a little closer, just an inch, then another. Eventually she'll wind up with her nose nudging his right hand.

Peggy Carter has posed:
The moment he's breaking away from her, Peggy lets out a breath that was half held, half choked, and she turns around calmly. She doesn't run after him, not wanting to scare him away or make it worse. She quietly slips out of her high heels, so she's as short as she can be. She's already out of her suit jacket, having been cooking. She looks as soft as Peggy Carter gets when she's still in work clothes.

Gingerly on stockinged feet, she starts walking towards him and Lili. She knows the dog is there for the top of the emergency -- that's why Lili exists. But Peggy isn't abandoning him either. Slowly, she comes to her knees next to him, reaching one hand for his knee. "It's fine. I'm fine... We're both fine. Just take a breath. I'm here. We're fine." Peggy repeats in her calm, even British tone, words measured and familiar. There is no fear of him in her eyes, even if there is a red mark across her neck.

James Barnes has posed:
    Lili whines softly and nudges his hand again, forcing her head beneath it. Pet me, feel me here, I'm what's real. She licks that hand a time or two. Quietly there, keeping him grounded or trying to.
    His hand strokes the dog's head absently. At first Bucky can't even look at Peggy, he's too ashamed. But when he looks up, he can't take his eyes off of her, or more importantly, that little red mark on her neck that to him it might as well be a mortal wound. He sucks in a hitching, halting breath. Those blue eyes become a little too bright - unshed tears, she's seen them before but does he ever allow them to fall? "I'm so sorry," he murmurs.

Peggy Carter has posed:
The moment he dares look up to her, Peggy's shoulders slump a bit in relief. She sinks down farther, settling in at his side so her back is against the wall as well, hip to hip, arm to arm. Her fingertips remain on the edge of his knee, giving a ginger, reassuring squeeze. There is still no fear in her eyes or body. There is nothing but understanding. He's flanked by his girls -- the loyal canine, and the long lived friend who has seen him through far too many things now. Neither of them are moving.

"James Barnes. I am the one who dared touch a sleeping shoulder. I knew the risks. I've slept next to enough men with shell shock in my day. I know how this goes. That wasn't you and I knew what I was getting into. I'm sorry I *woke* you. I should have... let well enough alone. I simply wanted you to be comfortable."

James Barnes has posed:
    Sometimes he remembers his nightmares in vivid detail, others, like this one, he doesn't remember a thing outside a feeling of dread upon waking. ...so he's not entirely sure why, or more importantly, who he was in his dream. So, after a few moments of just letting his head lean against the wall, eyes closed to make sure those tears are gone, he asks.
    "Was it me?" Yes, he knows it wasn't really *him*, but she's sure to get the gist of the question. Was he Bucky or the Winter Soldier in this dream?
    His idle petting of Lili becomes more focused and the dog lets her tail flop back and forth happily.

Peggy Carter has posed:
Unless he jerks away from her, Peggy reaches one slender arm up and around his shoulders. She's guiding him to lean a bit heavier against her and surround himself with the very real, warm, centering points of this reality. She is here. She's alive. She smells like her usual vanilla and rose oil. She looks like they just stepped out of the war. Lili is there also, soft and warm, nosing at his hand and wagging her tail drowsily. The house looks retro but real, the colors vibrant except where decades of sun washed out the carpet and the back of the couch. The house is very much Peggy and her husband in conjuncture. She squeezes his shoulders a bit tighter, her breath slow and even, the quiet beat of her heart calmed again.

"It... was him, I think. Talking about a mission. Not you. I know it was never you. But YOU are here now. And YOU felt safe enough to fall asleep on my couch. And *that* is what matters."

James Barnes has posed:
    He tenses at first, but that's because he's still seeing that red mark on her throat in his mind's eye. Bucky's afraid he might still hurt Peggy. But then he relaxes... a little. For a long, long long long LONG few moments he's just quiet. He just sits there, all up in his head, replaying what he woke up to through it. Finally..
    "I can't do it much longer..." His voice is soft, barely there, *exhausted*.

Peggy Carter has posed:
While he probably is stronger than her, he's got bulk on her alone but she's got the same years of training, Peggy isn't scared to tug him in a bit closer. She tries to let his head slump against her shoulder, so she can rest her cheek against his long hair -- hair that she has teasingly mocked on more than one occasion, but clearly doesn't actually mind. She keeps him wrapped up against her, being the best solid, steady support she can be.

"It's... getting better. The time is longer between incidents. And I know you aren't going to hurt me. Hell, James, you didn't kill me when you WERE under brainwashing and orders. You certainly aren't going to now. Whatever is mucked up in your head still? We'll keep working on it. It just takes time..."

James Barnes has posed:
    Bucky doesn't fight it, he ends up with his head on her shoulder and one hand still resting on Lili. Definitely both his girls. This time the silence stretches out so long that she might think he's fallen asleep again. Then he speaks, voice a little raspy and hoarse. Ahhhh, he was doing that don't let the tears fall again, that's why he was so quiet. "It's not better though," he points out. "I mean... better for how long? Until I walk into a Taco Bell restroom and they're waiting for me? It's the fucking *dread*..." Oh dear, he dropped an f-bomb, not something he generally does in front of Peggy. "... the dread of the day they strip it all away again."

Peggy Carter has posed:
If he wasn't a super soldier, the tightness of her arm around his shoulders might almost hurt. Peggy holds on so tight to him, for dear life, as if she could put up a protective shield around him with her grasp alone. "James. We are NOT going to let that happen. Not myself. Not Steve. Hell, look at this." Peggy motions to the old living room around them, "HYDRA CAME for us. They TRIED already. TRIED and FAILED." Oh, Peggy's mad. Not at him, at HYDRA, but he can feel it in the tremble of her arm, the quicker, harder beat of her pulse. She is mad enough to kill, and has been for a while now.

"They make this strike because they are scared of us. They want to rip us down. Of course, they want you bad, and we're not. Fucking. LETTING IT HAPPEN. You understand? I will burn down every last one of them before I let them lay a hand on you again. You are better than them. *We* are better than them. Understood, Barnes?"

James Barnes has posed:
    Lili whiiiiiiines, a long distressed sound. She doesn't like her pack getting upset and now there's two of them! Him sad, her mad. Happy, her pack, her people should be happy.
    Bucky ruffles the dog's neck to soothe her as he listens quietly to Peggy's rant.
    "Peggles..." His voice is soft and affectionate. "I know that's what you think, what you believe, what you feel has to be the truth of it, but it's just *not*. The truth of it is that we dunno and I can't stand not knowing anymore." A beat for that to sink it and he adds, "I wanna try to step it up, even if it ends badly, even if it means experimental crap that'll hurt like hell or leave me with more holes in my head and my memories... I don't care if it means magic, I don't care if it means drugs... I need to *know* that HYDRA can't hijack my mind ever again."

Peggy Carter has posed:
As he uses that old nickname, she laughs. It's something he's not allowed to use in front of ANY of SHIELD because Peggy is the Grand Madame of SHIELD, Director for ages and now Chief, who would never dare have such a diminuitive nickname as that. She shakes her head to him softly, arm still not leaving his shoulders. "I know, Buck. I do. We've cut off three of their heads ALONE in the last two months, one of which is sitting in this very basement. I know it's taking longer than I ever dreamt, but I've cleaned them out of our back yard and we'll get them out of your head too. I promise. I do."

She then pulls away just enough that she can look up to his eyes, her other hand coming up, daring to brush against his cheek as if she was pushing away one of those tears he doesn't let himself cry. "But if you want to try more... Other things? I have one or two people I can talk to. I don't want to lose you to this. I WON'T risk losing you. But we can try to find more, if it's hurting that bad."

James Barnes has posed:
    "It is, Peggy, it really is. I feel like I can't move forward knowing that they could rip me back to the beginning in the blink of an eye." Those intense blue eyes search her face and then lock onto her eyes. "I would rather be dead than live the rest of my life like this.." He's pretty sure what kind of reaction that's going to bring so he holds up his left hand quickly to try and stay it. "I'm not saying that I'm going to go out and end it tomorrow if we can't make this happen, but I need to know we're exhausting every single avenue we have. ...because you know they tend to grow two heads in place of the one we cut off."
    He leans a little into the touch of her hand. He really needs to shave.
    Lili inches further up so she can lay her head in Bucky's lap and lets out a soft chuffing 'woof' of a sound just to be included in what she can sense is a tense conversation.

Peggy Carter has posed:
Sure enough, he's lucky he's caught her hand because Peggy was ready to smack some sense into him, instead he just gets those piercing, dark eyes, staring in quietly hard betrayal at the fact that death is better than this. After she takes in a deep breath to calm her initial reaction, she lets her palm ease against his cheek again, feeling that scruff there. If they weren't practically siblings, it might almost be intimate. Really, it was, just of a different calibre than most people can understand.

"We'll look into it. But you have to promise me you keep fighting here. For your life. For SHIELD. For *me*. You keep fighting and this will simply be more a part of the fight. But it won't be easy and even if we don't find answers now, I am NOT ever... EVER going to let them take you back. Do you understand?" She states fiercely. He needs to know what a deep promise that is, to her very core.

At the dog's gentle chuff, Peggy echoes a bit softer, "Yes, Lili, I know... we won't let him."

James Barnes has posed:
    Bucky nods his agreement to her request. "Promise," he says softly. There's not a ton of conviction behind the word, but he has enough love in his heart for her to not intentionally break a promise and that might have to be enough for now.
    The rest of it? Her promise? Well he knows she means it, but he also knows he doesn't believe it's a promise anyone can actually make and *really* keep and he'll surely forgive her if she can't keep it.
    He slowly, almost reluctantly, pulls away and rises to his feet. "Dinner smells good," he mentions casually. Apparently he's had all the Serious Business talk he can handle for one day. "Didn't burn it this time?" ...and Bucky's actually *not* teasing.
    Lili scrambles to her feet as well and goes to find a spot of sunshine coming in through a window to lay in. Crisis averted, her people are safe, time for a nap before dinner.

Peggy Carter has posed:
A touch of relief floods through Peggy's body as Bucky finally moves to get up and comments on dinner. It's not until the dinner words that she knows he's on the road to some sort of recovery from this latest incident, and that he won't be running off in the middle of the afternoon to do something horribly stupid. She smirks at his words, following him towards the kitchen.

"They have these things called slow cookers nowadays, you know? No real fire, nothing for me to burn. We've learned it's a far, far safer way for me to attempt at preparing food." She's not teasing about the safer way. Peggy was infamous as being awful in the kitchen, even back in the war days. They wouldn't let her make ration coffee! Ironic, considering what the SSR boys thought she was good for. She follows him the rest of the way, beginning to quietly put him to work handling the other bits of food before everyone else gets home. A oasis of calm in an otherwise chaotic few weeks.