727/The Cape Doesn't Make The Man

The Cape Doesn't Make The Man
Date of Scene:	24 March 2020
Location:	Planet Herowood - Avenue of Tomorrow
Synopsis:	The moral of the story is to never let Colette
Cast of Characters:	Terry O'Neil, Lois Lane, Colette O'Connail, Gar Logan

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Terry O'Neil has posed:
It was the nearest place for food at the time. Terry hadn't really thought much about it because, well, he'd come here literally dozens of times. Maybe more. In the past. While it wasn't exactly the flashiest place for a hunker-down with his boss, the food was tasty and the ambiance was colorful.

Terry doesn't look like he's slept very much at all, he rather rose from the grave to have a quick side of brain- but to his credit, he has not been sluggish during work today. But now, as the day is winding down, he's starting to show his fatigue.

Their server has just sat them down, and Terry exhales a little, leaning back against his booth. "Well... today has definitely been a Monday," he says to Lois, rubing his eyes a little, "Because I feel I'm ready for Friday. I hope this place is OK."

Terry had told Lois he wanted to introduce her to his contact, who had so helpfully provided him the tip about the alien avian which led to the Captain Marvel interview. They had gotten there ahead in order to secure a booth, ahead of the dinner rush.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois, while tired from her usual workday, seems pretty comfortable. She must have had enough coffee or something, or had a good weekend. She is, however, keeping a close eye on Terry as she peers through the menu. "You alright there?" She's trying the casual approach to not blatantly asking him about his weekend.

"Hm, maybe I should bring Clark here. The whole wearing costumes thing is funny. I bet he'd get a kick out of this. I could probably make an okay Wonder Woman. That figure though... mm, maybe not. Especially if I order the wings..."

Colette O'Connail has posed:
    Getting somewhere ahead of Colette? Unpossible. Imheard of. She's always there well ahead of any arranged time to scout out the locality and scheme. Usually about half an hour ahead. Often lurking, leaning against her car in a suspicious fashion. Her car may well be parked in one of the other booths, for this express purpose.

    Yet somehow, for once, it happens. This probably has something to do with the fact that eventually Colette has to stop trying to meddle with... everything... and sit down to do some actual /work/. There are papers to grade. Some of them not exactly to the curriculum. She takes a mental note not to set too many, especially not to over-enthusiastic ex-Hydra child assassins who still haven't learned that exceeding wordcounts by 400% isn't actually going to score you higher grades. For once, she is merely /on time/.

    "What the f... hell is this place, Terry? Jeez. Move up!" She gives him a shove to help him on is way as she takes a seat, then offers her hand to Lois. "Hi. You must be the famous Lois Lane. I'm Colette. Does he make good coffee? Captain Marvel keeps telling me he's your coffee boy. I was thinking of poaching him if he makes a good cappuccino. Knowing him, he'd probably get the coffee shot at, though."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Shut up. You'd make a great Wonder Woman, boss." He ponders. Who could he come dressed up as? He was having a hard time thinking of any red-headed superheroes who were on the extremely pale side of things. And freckled. Maybe all of the redheads were wearing cowls? Hey- maybe Batman was a ginger.

I'm... managing." Terry says, with a half-assed smile, "I had the beginnings of an awesome weekend and it all went to hell in a handbasket. Gar and I-"

HELLO COLETTE! Terry blinks as he's shoved further down the booth. "And this is Colette," Terry says, uselessly.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois reaches over to shake Colette's hand. "I see my reputation precedes me. It's a pleasure Colette." She lets her gaze shift from Terry to Colette and back. "He is, technically, in charge of coffee. When he's at work and not injured for some inexplicable reason." There's a tone of amusement there, not because of Terry himself but just because she's /been there/.

"Sounds like Terry was just about his weekend. Unless you two are /just/ contacts and not also friends. I kind of got the impression she was the 'kick your chair over to wake you up if someone was about to catch you sleeping' kind of friend. How's my assessment?"

Colette O'Connail has posed:
    "Anything the tells you about me is a lie," Colette explains automatically. "Unless it's nice. Then he wants something." She's paying attention to the crowd. "You didn't tell me this was some kind of cosplay affair, Terry. How can I intentionally refuse to join in, if you don't tell me these things?" She is most definitely not dressed as a superhero. She's most definitely over-dressed for the place, though not to the extent she had been for that hot dog in the park.

    Colette finishes looking around with a shake of the head that speaks volumes of her despair at the world. "No Garfield, Terry? I thought you were doubling as his chauffeur lately. He'll never make it without you. He'll keep stopping off for pre-meal snacks on the way and won't arrive for hours."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"... Gar is not coming. He doesn't know we're here. I haven't told him." Terry's reply is a little wooden, and his facial expression... well, if he were a puppy, people might start checking every corner of the room right about now. He looks down and grabs his menu. "... I wonder if the Wondershake is any good," he says, flipping furiously through the pages. For a moment, his heart stops when he sees someone green and purple and black walking by the table...

A server. It's only a server. He exhales. Though he has to commend the guy, the green bodypaint can't be comfortable.

Lois Lane has posed:
"Oh no, I know /that/ look. That's the look of someone who has screwed up or thinks he's screwed up or is about to screw up and he knows it," Lois puts down her menu and her arms cross over her chest. "You say you haven't told him about this. Why, exactly, are you not bringing along the person you're basically conjoined at the hip with?" She leans forward. "He's supposed to have your back, Terry."

Her gaze sweeps over to Colette for some kind of backup. She doesn't really know what the relationship there is, but she's totally game for tag-teaming a pep talk into Terry if necessary.

Colette O'Connail has posed:
Colette picks up the menu and ignores it, because she's too busy staring at the side of Terry's head. If she had heat-ray vision, Terry wouldn't still have a head. "Terry insert-all-three-middle-names-O'Neil! if it wasn't for the fact I promised Garfield I would let you guys work this out without interfering, I would beat you to death with this menu. And then make you eat it.

    Gazes meet, and Colette gives Lois a what-can-you-do shrug. "They made some real progress yesterday, you know? There were... admissions. Hugs. Happiness. Of /course/ he didn't invite Garfield, because that would have been the sensible and obvious thing to do. This is not Terry's way. No wonder he keeps getting shot at. "

    Colette holds her hand out, palm up, to Terry. "Phone. Now. I'm inviting him for you." She snaps her hand shut, and puts it down again. "No I'm not. Not supposed to interefere."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
Terry's cheeks are, at this point, red enough that he looks like he's suffering from heat stroke. He rubs at his forehead, "Look... I screwed it up, okay? I majorly screwed it up. I didn't tell him I was coming because I majorly screwed it up and I don't know if I can look him in the eye. I feel so thoroughly humilliated, I feel like an idiot, I feel like... a wonder shake please."

That was Terry, suddenly piping up as a server in Zatanna getup approaches them. She looks a little taken aback, "And a Hulk Smashburger, hold the fries, thank you."

And then he sighs and rubs his forehead.

"Facing an eldritch horror was easier than this."

Lois Lane has posed:
"Just whatever fancy name you've got for onion rings and a coke," Lois offers the server before she looks over at Terry. "Okay, let me just explain to you that I cannot explain to you how this is possible but my weekend was /way/ more complicated than yours but I figured it out. Now. That having been said..." She stares directly at Terry. "Comunicate. Seriously."

She heaves a sigh. "Terry, when two people care about each other a lot they say really complicated and dumb things and do really complicated and dumb things. The only way you fix that is having a conversation where you don't interrupt each other and state how you feel and really listen to what the other person is saying. Got it?" She peers over. "Give me his number, I'll interfere if I have to."

Colette O'Connail has posed:
    "Uh oh... um. I'll have a... I dunno, whatever burger comes with beef, jack cheese, onions, lettuce. Fries, chocolate shake. And an extra five dollars on the tip if you don't make us say any of those names. Thanks." Colette's smile to the Zatannalike fades as her head turns back to Terry.

    "Well you probably only feel that way because you /are/ an idiot," Colette tells Terry sympathetically when the server is no longer quite standing /right/ there. "I mean if you screw up, you do something to make up for it. Like inviting him out. Not like... not inviting him out. You think after yesterday, what he really needs is for you to not be around him? Think he needs to be /alone/ again?"

    Colette shakes her head and raps fingernails on the table. "Okay. Not interfering. Not interfering. Not interfering. But if I /were/ interfering I'd point out that he's as nervous as you are and probably feels just as humiliated and idiotic, and is wondering if he can ever look you in the eye again. Let Lois interefere. She didn't make any promises. She's totally trying to scoop you on the Titans news though. Let her use your phone rather than giving her his number."

    Colette gives Lois a wink, when she thinks Terry's not looking.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
Terry's phone slides acoss the booth table over to Lois in what can only be called The Slide of Shame. "Look... it was... it was stupid of me. After Raven-"

He looks up and realizes Lois needs background on this.

"Okay, so Raven is still in the tower. And She's been there since, like, the Doomsday aftermath. And, like, everybody left. Left her alone. And we didn't really know how bad it was, but last night we went to the tower and..." Terry's voice goes low, "She was... /scary/, Lois. For a moment I thought she was going to kill us all. Or absorb us into darkness. Or... worse..." he doesn't mention Colette was there. He's getting better at not selling out his contacts. "And Gar was so brave, and he did something very corageous to try and bring her back from the brink of... whatever that was. She could have just killed him right then and there. But it worked. A little. Maybe."

He exhales, "Long story short," too late, "We were in his room, and I hugged him because we had both been afriad. And I told him he was brave. And then I..." he rubs his forehead. "And then I kissed him. And he said it was 'nice' and then quickly changed the subject to being hungry." He says the last part as if his conclusion should be totaly self-evident.

"So I told him I got a text from Lois about another bogus Superman sighting and that I was on webcam watch... I just had to get out of there, I was so embarrassed."

Lois Lane has posed:
The phone is dangerously slid in Lois' direction. She smiles. It's an innocent smile, really it is. She listens to Terry, nodding along as he tells the story... while typing something away on his phone. He /is/ distracted, after all. "Maybe you shouldn't have run away from someone who was in a vulnerable position and probably really wanted you there."

The phone is slid back to Terry after a moment, but there's already a sent text message listed as sent on it.

'I'm sorry I ran off! I care about you a lot and feelings are hard to deal with and I was embarrassed. It meant a lot to me and I hope you feel the same. Also if you want food come to Planet Herowood in Metropolis.'

Colette O'Connail has posed:
    It's a well-known fact that the greatest face-palms of all time are those of Patrick Stewart in his role as Jean-Luc Picard. This fact is not not true. There have been three greater.

    When Rasputin, having already drunk heroic quantities of cyanide and been shot three times at point blank range, dragged himself to his feet and attacked Prince Yusupov /again/, Grand Duke Pavlovich performed a face-palm for the ages.

    Yet more plangent was the face-palm of Alexander the Great. On being told there were an infinite number of possible worlds and he could not conquer them all, he did not as commonly reported weep, but rather face-palmed so powerfully that the sound echoed through the agora and down the ages.

    Lost to history, the greatest face-palm of all was commited by a leader of the Cro-Magnon Garran'ah tribe in what is now Northern Spain. None can now say the cause of his despair, but so potent was the face-palm that it caused the death of the Neanderthal race from the sheer embarrassment of being face-palmed thus.

    At barely 200 micro-Picards, Colette's face-palm does not even register on this historic scale. It is however deeply felt, and it is her own.

    "Terry. Terry Terry Terry. You absolute... /Terry/."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
Upon being informed by Lois that not only was Gar vulnerable, but that he probably actually wanted him there, Terry does something in approximation of Colette. It is not quite a face-palm in that category, but rather the more inferior one known as the Riker Maneuver, which was performed with a soft touch in order to keep facial hair from misbehaving.

"Oh man... now I feel like the dirt under Lex Luthor's fingernails. Worthless and probably fake." He looks up at Colette, and then at Lois. He doesn't immediately notice what Lois has sent, and probably it is a good thing because it might just cause him to spontaneously combust. His shake arrives and he starts sipping at it rather morosely. "Why am I so bad at everything except getting shot?"

He looks down and finally sees the message Lois sent. He looks absolutely crestfallen when no reply pops up. Consequently, he manages to sip down a third of that milkshake in record time.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois leans on the table, giving Terry a sympathetic look. "Trust me, you aren't bad. Inexperienced? Yes. Confused? Yes. Any number of other words I could put here would also lead to the answer yes. The thing is, Terry, you are focusing on the negatives. You've got a lot going. You aren't the lowest rung on the coffee-toting ladder, for the record. That's Gary. He gets coffee and files things. You? You do coffee /and/ real reporting."

She takes a sip from her newly-arrived coke. "Also, I bet you that if you asked Gar what you do well, he'll have a /great/ answer for you. Sometimes you can't see yourself as clearly as someone else does."

Colette O'Connail has posed:
    "That would be because you're young, inexperienced, and a human being, Terry." Colette rests a hand on Terry's shoulder. Apparently she does actually do sympathy, too. "We all do dumb shit. Especially when it comes to love. Because we're not all telepathic bird-aliens who can read each other's minds, we have to either guess or ask. And because we're scared of rejection, we don't want to ask. And being scared of rejection, we tend to guess the worst outcome to shield ourselves from disappointment. It's dumb shit, but it's also normal shit. The trick is to realize that if asking gets a rejection, every other approach would too. Just more slowly and painfully. So ask. Particularly because the person you love is going to feel that same pain. Asking might hurt you, but remind yourself that it's a way to save someone you love from feeling pain too, and that makes it seem worthwhile. Trust me, I'm like /two/ years older than you, and have the wisdom of ages."

    Colette removes the hand from Terry's shoulder when he's stopped sucking straw, and gives the straw a flick, firing a glob of wondershake in the direction of Terry's nose. Her sympathy has limits.

    "You could tell him what he does well too, Lois." Colette raises an eyebrow. "I mean I figure that a lowly intern like Terry with the record he has for getting several pretty big-hitting interviews in this short a space of time is getting some notice in editorial meetings. Am I wrong? I mean he's an idiot, yeah, but I suspect you wouldn't be happy if the Bugle tried to poach him. Which they eventually will. Hot tip, he hates the Bugle, you can knock 20% off the pay rise you were considering."

Gar Logan has posed:
Gar Logan had been sitting in his room at Titans Tower, staring at his phone, as if waiting for it to chirp or yip at him, or whatever customized tone he had selected for texts, calls, and other notifications. When you're Beast Boy, famous actor and Titan, sometimes you have to live up to certain expectations.

He couldn't work up the nerve to send the first text. He'd thought he did everything right. He risked his life to help Raven, played the hero, may have given new life to the Titans. The guy he'd found himself liking more and more even kissed him, he returned it and admitted it felt nice. Why, then, did Terry rush off so quickly? All that standing up to Raven had Gar starving, and there were pizzas to devour!

So, when the text comes through, he reaches out for the phone quickly and readies his thumbs to fire back an immediate answer...only to pause. Then, he frowns. "Garfield Logan, you poor fool," he tells himself, then he taps after a couple minutes go by.

<<Whoever this is, give the phone back to Terry and let him tell me what he has to say in his own words, please.>>

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Yeah, but that's because Gary has that problem with flatu-" Terry starts answering, when Colette gets Wondershake on his nose. "Hey!" It's when he reaches for the napkin that he notices there has been a reply. He reads it over a couple of times, and then gulps. "I need to answer him."

So, why isn't he? "For courage." He grabs the straw again and sips some more of that Wondershake, praying to Athena to be given Wonder Woman's courage.

It seems, however, that it must be Bingo night at olympus, because an aura of courage is not bestowed upon him from owl-eyed Athena. He will have to make do with his own.

<<Hey. It's me.>> He starts. He stops. He starts again. <<I'm an idiot. I got the vibe you wanted to move away from ... what we did. I'm sorry if I made you feel weird. I rushed- didn't I? I feel like I rushed and ruined everything.>>

He puts the phone down and exhales. And then something comes to his mind.

"... you do realize that those interviews have been mostly flukes so far, right? And now Captain Marvel has blackmail material on me," he says with a slight smirk.

Lois Lane has posed:
"I mean, his attendence record is also shit and they barely deal with /mine/ and I've hit nearly the top of the proverbial reporter ladder, they're pretty stingy. You don't do this for the money, mostly," Lois glances over to Terry, then back to Colette. "He's got good instincts, if he's a little bad at knowing when to act on them."

She looks at Terry for a long moment. "You're gonna be okay. Both of you. Once you realize this is just nerves? You're fine."

Colette O'Connail has posed:
    "How many flukes in the past month or so, Terry?" Colette slurps at her own shake. It's not bad. She hopes it's not called anything too stupid. It probably has something printed on the cup, but she doesn't want to look. "If that's dumb luck, move to Vegas and call us when you're rich. Otherwise cut the self deprecating sh... bull, and try to admit you're doing a good job of something."

    "As for blackmail material, come on. She's asked you not to publish something. That's /leverage/. She owes you. One day, when there's a really hot story out there, you can call that in. Besides..."

    Colette tilts her head to one said and gives a slight shrug as if half-dismissing her own opinon as something that's obviously barely believable and she doesn't mind that you don't believe it. "She's nice. She's one of the good one. She wouldn't pull that crap on you even if she didn't have more to lose than you do. Plus, maybe you didn't notice, but she actually apologized to you when she realized you were taking her shit-talking seriously. Think about it, Scoops."

    "Pods," Colette suggests to Lois. "I mean not on the corporate. Old media is all about the broadcast monopoly, pods is all about the talent, and pretty hot monetization right now. You've got the name where it counts, they just have yesterday's newstands and a web presence hanging off the back of that. You could threaten to go indi and syndicate. Know what your numbers are on those? Your reach would take a hit in the first few months, but it's a good gamble you'd pull that back, then you're pocketing the distribution cut old media wants everyone to think is their god-given. I'd be looking real close at the numbers if I was you."

Gar Logan has posed:
Gar Logan looks down at his phone. Idiot? Now that sounds like the Terry he knows. But, what does he say? A minute or so goes by.

<<Dude, I liked it, but I was starving and I didn't know what else there was for me to eat except the pizzas. You left and I thought I did something wrong after I finally did a couple things right and felt more like myself than I have since I got back here.>>

Terry O'Neil has posed:
Terry stares at his phone, and groans.

<<I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me? Can I make it up to you? Can I cook dinner for you? Candlelight rooftop? My apartment?>>

He shakes his head. He imagines Gar all by himself in the tower, alone. Vulnerable. He could kick himself.

The redhead looks up at Lois and Colette, and then something comes to mind. "Well... did /you/ freak out this much when Clark kissed you?" Because he's assuming. And also, he may be looking for a reason not to feel /too/ bad about himself.

"... becoming a pod person is also a good idea, by the way. I'd be in on that... April does it all the time." Pause, "I need to introduce you to April."

Lois Lane has posed:
"Oh, no, you misunderstand Terry. Clark Kent spent ten years /not/ kissing me and wanting to. /I/ kissed /him/. Once because we were undercover, then once to find out if that undercover kiss was an /actual/ kiss, and then I did it one more time because I didn't want him to leave," Lois takes a sip from her coke. "It was an ordeal let me tell you. And no, I didn't but /he/ did freak out and he tried to leave."

So it's not always fun and games when you unearth feelings, kids! "Things are all great though. On cloud nine and couldn't be happier. Relationship and job and amazing front page story soon, all lining right up. Hell of a weekend though." She pauses. "Yes, I really should meet her at some point, you do keep mentioning her."

Colette O'Connail has posed:
    Colette's eyes focus on the far-away, and wheels turn. "Fuck me," she whispers. "It occurs to me I know someone who may just turn out to be a certified SEO genius. Studio costs would be nothing. This could... Lois, get me those reach numbers for your last five pods, last six months expenses and salary demand and I'll crunch the numbers. Not kidding."

    She blinks a few times as she stares at the vision unfolding in her misty gaze. Daddy would be proud, he always wanted her to do business instead of academics. "I can arrange the capital for this. Check your contract for non-competes, might be possible to start off without even having to quit the Planet, see how it pans out. I can get a great lawyer to pick your contract apart for loopholes if you like. If it doesn't go that way, we should budget a bit more ambitiously up front. Aim for two-three names and the same number of assistants, maybe. One suicidal intern, I guess. One tech. The rest can be outsourced. It..."

    Her eyes refocus on the here and now. "I mean if you're interested. It's an option. Gotta look at the numbers, but it could make a lot of sense. Who's Clark? Who's April?" She feels she may have missed some of the conversation here.

    Colette looks down at her burger, and deciding it's safer than talking, picks it up and takes a bite.

    "Fuck. This has some kinda overly-sweet Jack Daniels sauce." She may have unknowingly ordered the JewelBurger. "I'm sure I clearly said Jack cheese, not fucking Jack sauce. Um, sorry. I mean damn."

Gar Logan has posed:
Gar Logan squints at the screen, then his tongue sticks out of the corner of his mouth as he prepares a cheeky reply.

<<Dude, shut up. We can talk later. Just enjoy whoever you're hanging out with at Herowood, and you can think about another kind of hero wood the next time we kiss, okay?>>

Maybe he's going to be all right after all. The Kian and Raven things, one much more enjoyable than the other, must have given him a self-esteem boost. Perhaps that kiss did as well, even if Terry misread the whole thing.

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"April O'Neil. Eyewitnes news? Podcaster? She's my cousin." Terry says, giving Colette a look, "And yes, before you say it, it does run in the family. In more ways that one. Harley Quinn broke out of Arkham just to pay her a visit and become her roomate." He pauses, "Except she got pardoned and is now legally out. And is still her roomate. I get Beast Boy."

He muses briefly on the fact that the O'Neil clan must be a very very strange one.

"So wait. You kissed Clark, he freaked out and tried to leave..." Terry trails off. "There are some weird parallels here that I'm not sure I am altogether-"

*Bing*

Terry snatches his phone off the table. He hasn't even touched his burger yet, he is so preoccupied in reading the text. "He replied! He says..." his lips move silently and his eyes scan the screen.

There is so much red on his face right now. He very, very slowly types a reply.

<<You're incorrigible.>> He looks at the screen again. And adds <<As if I wasn't already.>>

He puts the phone down on the table and grabs his burger. "... he didn't say anything." And quickly starts eating his burger so as to have the plausible deniability of having his mouth full and, thus, unable to answer. Unfortunately for him he forgot to lock his phone, so the chat screen is visible for prying eyes. Probably Colette's.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois gives Colette a skeptical look, but she nods. "I can get those for you, if you're serious. Throw in the fact that I've basically won the biggest award a reporter can get? Do you know it's almost a /requirement/ by the criminal underworld to know me by face? Yeah, that's a thing." She's amused at the suggestion. She's about to look back to Terry when Colette mentions Clark.

"Clark's my best friend, boyfriend, and writing partner. It would kind of be a package deal, honestly." She's not leaving Clark behind unless he told her to. She peers towards Terry again. "See, sounds like things are good." Yep, she's amused again.

Colette O'Connail has posed:
    "The weird parallel might be everyone involved is actually a human being?" Well not quite, but Colette doesn't know that, and nor does Terry. "It's normal, Scoops. It's what people do. It would be weird if there weren't parallels."

    Colette puts her burger down rather carefully, as if it might explode at any moment, and nods at Lois. "I'm serious. I'm not promising without seeing the numbers, but I'm serious. You, this Clark guy, maybe Terry can drag his cousin in and we have three. It could work."

    Colette takes a napkin and wipes sauce from her fingers rather ostentatiously, and satisfies herself with fries and shake instead. The suggestion that her eyes would pry is pure slander. Scurrilous calumny. It shall not be mentioned.

    "Must have got real sunny out real fast, but even then I'm impressed how quickly you got sunburn there Terry. I mean considering he didn't say anything. "

     Colette chews a fry thoughtfully. "Funny. I thought he /would/ have something to say. /Would/n't you, Lois? It seems like the obvious thing to do, but then you know Garfield. Not always great at seeing the obvious. Some days he just can't see the /wood/ for the trees."

Terry O'Neil has posed:
"Oh yes, April would love to work with you! And I'd bring you gals coffee and occasionally get shot at and get an interv-"

Terry was doing well up to this point. He was starting to talk, and he was chewing on his hamburger in between sentences. And then Colette Coletted and it all went downhill.

Or, rather, down-pipe, as he chokes. And then he coughs. And he starts coughing, tears streamin down his face.

" 'scoosemewentdownwrongway" he says and, by virtue of ducking under the table, he makes a beeline for the bathroom where he can get rid of the intruding piece of food and, potentially, hide for maybe five minutes.

The phone remains on the table, unlocked.