7886/Magic and Denial

Magic and Denial
Date of Scene:	19 September 2021
Location:	Sara and Cael's apartment
Synopsis:	Sara learns more about Cael's past than she expected.
Cast of Characters:	Cael Becker, Sara Pezzini

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Cael Becker has posed:
    A couple more days have passed - which means a couple more attempts to go into work, which only ever lasts for a few hours each time. There has also been a few more flares of temper, though Cael does her best to keep that in check. She doesn't want Sara to suffer anymore than she has to - and Cael is fully cognizant of the fact that she hasn't been //completely// herself.
    She hasn't attempted to make Sara watch anymore horrible movies - she'd even admitted that putting Twilight on had been her idea of a practical joke. That decision she couldn't blame on the concussion. Nope, that was 100% Cael.
    At the moment, she was seated at the table with a tablet, attempting to read throught a transcript - but after reading the same sentence for a third time she admits defeat and turns off her screen, rubbing at her eyes. She can only focus on the thing for so long. It's starting to get easier, at least.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara hasn't been to work, not SHEILD not the NYPD. She's been to the store, gone to work with Cael and then home again, and once she went to her mother's and came back with real minestrone soup cause hers failed... badly. Her mother said she let it simmer too long, but honestly it's more like she left it on by accident and got wrapped up in stuff on her tablet. Oops.

Coming out of her room, drying her hair, she wears a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, nothing else cause she's being comfortable. "You try the soup?" she asks, rubbing the towel over her chestnut locks repeatedly.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I had a little earlier. It wasn't bad," Cael confirms. She hasn't been eating as much - more nibbling at food now and then - so she'd only had a cup and that was enough. "I guess your mom knows what she's doing," she adds, flashing Sara a smile. "She didn't need to go to all that trouble on my account, though. I mean - there's plenty of take out around here." She leans back into her seat, idly watching Sara toweling her hair dry.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara chuckles as she walks to the table and sits down, finishing off the drying and hanging the towel over the back of another chair.

"She made it because I destroyed my attempt," she says with a soft sigh. "I tried to tell her not to but... she insisted, and my dad gave me the look.... the 'don't mess with your mother today' look. So... you got minestrone, and I got shamed. Such is life."

eaching over to pick up her own tablet, she enters the pin, then does the swiping pattern, and let's is scan her face. Way too much protection. "I'm a little worried about you Cael," she says while looking at the tablet. "You've hardly been eating."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "The docs gave me a thourough looking over. I don't have any slurred speech, any difficultly with walking or coordination... I'm fine," Cael insists. "Plus, I've been taking less of the pain killers, and sleeping a little less. The appetite'll come back. Trust me, I'm anxious to get better, myself." And wasn't that the truth - she was bloody impatient.
    "I wouldn't waste time worrying about it."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Setting the tablet down, Sara looks over at Cael.

"Of course I'm going to worry about you, Cael," she states. "The human body requires three meals a day, and you're hardly managing a cup of food here and there, what four or five days later? Okay, so you check out, and I know you want to get back to work, but I'm still going to worry. You're my friend, my partner and my roommate... worry comes with the territory."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I'll probably wake up tomorrow famished, and you'll start worrying that I'm eating too much," Cael counters with an amused grin. "Look, it's fine. And... well. Thank your mom for me next time you talk to her. It was kind, and I'm not //completely// devoid of social graces." Just mostly. She pushes herself to her feet, moving towards the fridge as she adds, "If it makes you feel better, though, I'll have a little more."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara heads into the kitchen, not to get soup or spy on Cael, but to put on a pot of coffee. "I'll make sure to tell her," she comments as she fills the back of the coffee maker and gets the coffee into the basket. "You want me to put some water on for tea?" She then asks, already doing it. "You don't need to eat if you aren't hungry Cael, that'll just make you sick."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "You're impossible..." Cael says with a huff of frustrated air. Does she want her to eat or not? "It doesn't hurt to try."
    She pours some of the soup into a cup - to pop into the microwave before adding, "Nah, I'll take a coffee," she answers - and leans back against the counter to let the soup heat through, arms crossing over her chest. She's silent a moment before remarking, "I'm not used to people giving a damn about me." Not for several years, anyways.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara sets the tea pot back on the counter. "My mother said that exact same thing to me yesterday," she says with a smile, realizing she's not making the situation any better. "Thank you for trying to eat more."

The coffee pot gets turned on before she leans back against the counter by Cael. "So would that be why you're always risking yourself without thinking? Because you're not used to having someone who will freak out when you come home with a concussion?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael gives this question serious consideration. "Maybe," she admits. "I don't know. I just- It always seems worth it, you know? Another life saved. Being there for people in their darkest moment, when they have no one else to turn to."
    She's silent a moment before adding, "I used to have a friend - we were pretty close. She got killed, wrong-place wrong-time, you know? I couldn't save it. It's why I went into Organized Crime, and ever since then - every group I help bring down, every person I save, it's- well. I don't know. It's like she's still here, she's still making a difference." Her gaze is fixed unseeingly at a random point on the wall across from her as she talks, arms still folded.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara keeps her eyes fixed across the room as well, realizing this isn't something easy for Cael to talk about she thinks that it best not to look at her right now. Losing a friend to organized crime, whether it was an intended hit, or an accident, that would be enough to drive someone either insane or into law enforcement.

"I'm sure you've heard a hundred times, but I'm sorry you had to go through that, and that you lost a friend." She offers, as she said probably something Cael has heard. "Can I ask you something?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Maybe less often than you'd think," Cael remarks quietly, without explaining the odd statement. But at Sara's question, she gives a nod of her head. "Yeah, sure Sara. Shoot." That's about when the microwave beeps, so she turns away to retrieve her mug of soup, stirring it, and taking a cautious sip to test its temperature - and her stomach.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara steps over to pour out two cups of coffee, sliding one down the counter to Cael, then adding a little cream to her own.

"How old were you when this happened?" She asks, after picking up the cup and moving to lean against the counter again. "I remember what you said before, at the Triskelion. This friend, she was the thick and thin friend, right?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Seventeen," Cael answers simply. She takes both of her mugs, going back to the table, and setting them down before adding, "I have a picture of us - in my room." The offer is unstated - but is perhaps highlighted by the fact that she doesn't sit yet - instead she glances back towards Sara for a moment.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara follows Cael back to the table, offering a smile.

"May I see it?" She asks as she sets her coffee on the table. She doesn't want to push too much, but she also doesn't want to come off as not caring because that's the furthest thing from the truth. "You don't have to of course, but she sounds special."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Sure," Cael answers. She disappears into her bedroom - the footsteps stilling for a handful of seconds before she walks back again, holding a simple, black, 5x7 photo frame. The picture shows what is unmistakeably a teenage Cael, with the tips of her blonde hair dyed an electric blue, grinning broadly with her arm around a shorter girl of a similar age, her hair cropped short and black, seemingly of mixed asian heritage. Behind them is a car painted an eye-searingly bright green. "I'd just won a race," she explains, as she hands the photo. "Ashley was a great mechanic - just a genius with machines. I don't know how she did it."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
She doesn't take the picture from Cael, instead Sara leans over to look at the picture and a broad smile touches her lips.

"I love your hair," she says first. "My dad would have shaved my head if I did something like that." Every little detail of the photo is memorized, the color, make and model of the car. Then she moves to memorizing both Cael and Ashley's faces at that age, the smiles on their faces, the excitement of the moment in their eyes.

"So you raced cars?" She asks, leaning back. "Win often?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Not legally, I assure you," Cael says with a broad grin. Her expression sobers after a moment. "We made a lot of bad choices. But... yeah, we'd win - sometimes. Usually made a good showing for ourselves, though. I mean - I was the driver, but- what's a car without a mechanic?" She looks down at at the photo again for a moment then remarks quietly, "We were a good team." She lets out a sigh then, apparently unable to look at the photo anymore, sets it facedown on the table before she sits, picking up the mug of soup to stir it, and take a small bite, her gaze now directed down at her food.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara sits down in the chair with the towel on the back and picks up her coffee.

"Street racing," she says with a hint of a smile. She leaves the picture as is, taking a sip of her coffee. "Did it happen at a race?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "No," Cael answers in a soft voice, her gaze still fixed on her soup. "That's not really something I talk about though. She got shot. It was bad. There was... nothing I could do." She couldn't help but feel it all again - the pain, remorse, and helplessness of that moment. The rage that still lingered over what was done to her friend.
    "It was a long time ago." Eight years was a long time, right? At least at her age it was.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara slides her chair a little closer, then leans slightly against Cael. No warm around her, no hand on the shoulder, just leaning enough to touch shoulders.

"Doesn't matter how long ago it was Cael, still hurts," she says softly. "Some will tell you talking about it helps, but I've learned that's not always true. Sometimes it does help, to let it out, to let someone else in and know your pain and anger, but when it comes down do it, you only talk about it if you want to and that becomes acceptable."

The takes a sip of her coffee before continuing. "I lost a friend to drugs in high school, couldn't get her to stop taking them and she ODed. Know it's not the same, she made the mistake herself and your friend was, as you said, wrong place, wrong time."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I put her there," Cael answers quietly. "I mean - we did. We both did. She wasn't the target, but..." That hardly mattered, did it? They were running with the gang.
    "Anyways. Sorry 'bout your friend - don't really want to talk about it, though. She's gone, end of story."
    She stirs at her soup without taking another bite - at the moment, it seemed to be more about getting herself something to focus on.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara was a detective. She'd made that rank at the police department at a young age because she was good. She could tell there was a lot more to the story, that some how Cael blamed herself for what happened, but there wasn't quite enough information to put the pieces together. Most street racing was connected to gangs, so there was that possibility, which means the target could have been the gang itself and Ashley ended up getting hit in a drive by.

"There's never really an end to the story," she comments softly. "But you're welcome to stop talking about it. Just know, I'm always here to listen if you want to talk Cael, I won't judge you. That's no my place."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Even all these years later, the memories of that day were still hectic and disjointed - but some of the memories remain wrenchingly vivid. She could see the pain and fear in Alis's eyes as she struggled to breathe and coughed up blood, and hear the sounds of each breath. She could smell the grease, and blood, and the pungent smell of nitroglycerin from the fired rounds.
    Cael squeezes her eyes shut, forcing herself to breathe slowly and evenly as she tries to block the images from her mind.
    "Sara, I can't," she manages to grit out quietly.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara leans a little more against Cael, shoulder to shoulder.

"Then don't," she says softly and calmly. "You don't have to talk about it Cael, I mean that. If there ever comes a time that you can talk about it, I'm here, other wise... don't talk about it. I'll be here for you either way."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I know," Cael answers, as she continues to struggle with bottling the memories back up - now that they've been brought back to the forefront of her mind.
    "Hey. Let's uh- Let's talk about something else. What's your favorite ice cream? Your favorite noodle dish?" Anything else - so long as she had something to focus on.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
There's a nod and Sara hmmms. "Okay... favorite ice cream is a tie for me. I /love/ Rocky Road and Mint Chocolate Chip, but not together. Noodle dish, no idea what's it's called. I know it's Japanese, but I really don't remember the name." She snorts. "It has these little curly things in it that look like hair, but taste fantastic. There's also egg, meat, green onions, a nice broth... sorry, can't even remember."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Big fan of mint chip myself," Cael agrees quietly. "Me 'n Ashley would joke about 'eating our greens' and then go get mint ice cream. It was a dumb joke." A really dumb joke, but it was also a very fond memory.
    "Curly things that look like hair I got no idea about. I like spicy Thai noodle dishes. Pad Thai, pad see ew, any of those.
    "What's your dad put on his pizzas?" She takes another deep breath in - focusing on the smell of the minestrone soup she was still stirring. She could hear the spoon, feel it's warmth...

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara takes another sip of her coffee. "Well first it's the crust," she says in her best 'dad' voice. "If you get the crust wrong, you've ruined the pizza Sara, don't you ever forget that. Then the cheese. Ya want ta use /real/ mozzarella and parmesan, if you use that freeze dried or dehydrated stuff, I'll disown you." She gives Cael a look now, one her father gives her, well close to it. It's serious, but not really. "Now we'll talk meat..." now she switches to her own voice, "proceed to insert every kind of meat on the planet that you can get your hands on, talk about it for thirty minutes, then only put Italian sausage and pepperoni, because everything else is wrong. Last, onions and olives."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Does he skip the fuckin' sauce? Or did you just get disowned for missing a step?" Cael reopens her eyes finally, flashing Sara a brief, weak smile, before forcing herself to take a sip of the soup. The taste in her mouth will help, she knows. Focus on your senses - ground yourself in the here and now. How many times has she been told that?
    She's lost count.
    "I'm fine with all of that, but olives always struck me as over-rated. And sausage is much better than pepperoni. So - how much would your dad kill me if I brought over a can of pineapple?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara gahs softly and smacks her head against the table lightly.

"Never repeat that mistake, my father would disown me and you just for knowing me!" She laughs then sits up again. "The sauce is homemade, or it doesn't go on there... and these olives," she sighs softly, contently. "They aren't your average olives Cael, they're very specific, expensive, from Italy olives."

Sitting back in the chair a little more comfortably, "He would be polite and kind in the way he asked you to get the fuck out of his house."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael lets out a quiet laugh at that response. "Ahh, it's almost tempting. I mean, it'd be hilarious to do, just to //fuck// with him." She flashes Sara a smile. It doesn't last, but it was there for a moment - so she was clearly feeling far more herself now.
    "Sorry. I, uhh... Sometimes when I try to..." She shrugs, and lets out a sigh. "The memories are strong."
    After another bite of the soup she asks, "So, question is... Do you //agree// with your father? Sausage, pepperoni, olives and onions - is that //your// ultimate pizza?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara looks around for a moment, as if she expects her father to step out the minute she opens her mouth.

"No," she admits bluntly. "I like bacon or ham, sometimes both, and Italian sausage. Extra cheese is a must and of course, mushrooms and tomatoes." She pulls up a photo of her parents on her phone to show Cael, then announces to it, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Well. Maybe if I ever go over to visit, you can tell him that's //my// favorite kind of pizza," Cael remarks with a wry smile as she studies the photo.
    "...they look nice," she adds. "Happy."
    After another sip of soup she asks, "They know about the Witchblade?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara fumbles the phone, almost dropping it, and just managing to catch it before it hits the floor.

"That came out of no where," she says as she sets the phone in the table. "No, they don't know... they can't know. It's the one part of considering the Avengers I worry about. Family to heroes and the like become targets, and although I'm pretty sure my dad could handle himself, and my mother would head for the panic room, it's still a risk I have to worry about."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael didn't expect that reaction, and the surprise shows on her features for a moment, followed by contrition. "Sorry - I didn't think- I wouldn't say anything to them, of course. I mean, that's your business, no one else's," she promises. "I guess that's one thing I don't have to worry about. There's no one for folks to come at me through. I mean, couple folks I work with at the FBI, and you. And if they're feeling particularly dumb - Steve, or Sam, or Barnes." But who'd be that dumb? Nah. It's far more likely they'd come after her, to get at //them//.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara shrugs a little, as she says, "No, no need to be sorry. I just wasn't expecting it." She takes another drink of her coffee. "See, when I first got Witchblade, all I could think about was how to get rid of it. Once I decided that it might actually be impossible to get rid of him, and started working to learn how to use him, that's when I started worrying about my parents."

Sighing a little, she puts the coffee cup on the table, "I didn't mean to imply that you would say anything, I know you wouldn't. I just... it comes back to my mind a lot, whether I should tell them or not."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Does telling them put them anymore at risk?" Cael asks. "I mean, wouldn't they at least know to be more aware of trouble?" She hesitates a moment then asks, "And wouldn't they want to know? I mean - most parents want to know what's going on with their kids, don't they?" She's genuinely asking - since it's outside of her own frame of reference. Her mom had cared, though - when she'd been sober enough to.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Glancing to the window, Sara has to think about that a moment. "Parents always want to know what their kids are up to," she says first. "That part is true, but at the same time they don't want to know that their kid is putting themselves in danger any more than being a police officer already does." She pauses, looking back to Cael.

"But they know the law and justice are... the drives me, so in all likelihood would just accept this as another aspect of who I am and what I do. I think my dad would worry, because this is something beyond the police and law is... well the law, but being a part of SHIELD with it, that keeps it within the law."

Another pause, "You think I should tell them?" She's asking for an honest opinion here.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael let's out a quiet, huff of air that's part laugh - and part disbelief. "Hell, if it was me? I probably wouldn't. I'm not- I don't trust that easily. I don't have much of anyone that's close to me, haven't for years. I didn't really grow up with-" She lets out a sigh. "I mean, my therapist says I 'struggle with attachment.'" She lifts her fingers to make airquotes as she says it. "So hell, I don't know what you should do. It sounds like you don't want to scare them, which I guess I get. But hell if I know if that's the right choice or not.
    "How would they react if they did find out about it another way, somehow?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Carl struggles with attachment? No, say it isn't so! Sara had figured that out a while ago, but it wasn't her place to make any sort of comment about it. It was however good to know she had a therapist, she needed one.

"My father would never forgive me," she says bluntly. "So that solved that. Next Sunday dinner, which you are invited to, I tell them."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "...that'll be fun." Cael sips the coffee now, watching Sara uncertainly as she asks, "Well. What're //they// gonna say about the whole magic aspect? Or you got no idea about that?"
    Then after a momentary pause she adds, "Shit, am I going to have to mind my fuckin' mouth?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara laughs, almost tipping over in her chair. "No! Oh hell no!" she laughs. "The minute you tell my dad you're FBI, he'll expect swearing, and my mother doesn't care."

Collecting her coffee cup she adds, "My dad suspects, he's a cop, he's seen some shit. My mother... she'll have to be convinced."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Thank fuckin' God," Cael remarks with a grin. She takes another sip of coffee, her expression going more speculative. "I'm still trying to figure out how I- I mean, none of this shit should be possible. People die, and they stay dead. You don't just... shatter into pieces, and then walk out of hell." How does any part of that sentence make sense?
    "I washed pieces of him out of my hair. If we DNA swabbed that drain, there- there'd be evidence, you know?" And he just walks out of hell?

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara shakes her head a little. "They didn't die Cael, they were teleported via death magic, which makes it /look/ like they died... and yes, I get that that is hard to believe, so I won't say any more then that about it for now."

Standing up she walks into her room for a moment then comes back with a bottle of Irish Cream, which she opens and adds a little to her coffee before sitting down and placing the bottle on the table. "My mother hasn't seen the same things my dad has, but she's heard the stories from him. I don't know if she believes or not, it's not something we talk about over dinner usually." She takes a sip of her coffee and nods at it. "I think on some level she believes, because she reads the news about everything else that happens."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I had to wash them out of my hair," Cael repeats, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I don't understand this stuff, and I don't know how to fight things I can't understand." She picks up the Irish Cream, adding a little to her coffee. Is that good for a concussion? Does she care? She takes a sip.
    "I don't want to believe in this shit. It scares me."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Finally, the truth. Sara has been waiting for the truth for a long time, and it was exactly what she thought it would be.

"Does it scare you because you don't know how to fight it, or does it scare you because you don't believe in it, and yet there it is it? The first I can help you with, the second not so much."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Does it have to be one or the other?" Cael asks dryly. "I mean... It doesn't make sense, and I don't know how to deal with it. You went to 'hell'? How is that even a thing? Hell is real? If heaven real? Am I supposed to be worshipping some invisible sky daddy now?" She runs a frusrated hand through her hair. Magic, and demons, and heaven, and hell... none of that should be real.
    "Or, hell, part of me wonders if maybe I'm a little more insane than I ever dared think."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara reaches over and lightly rests her hand on Cael's shoulder for a moment, giving it a little squeeze, then takes it back.

"No, you don't have to start believing in an invisible sky daddy," she says with the squeeze. "The concept of heaven and hell comes from the Christian belief Cael, what you think of hell is from that. The real hell is nothing like what the Christians try to pass it off as, in fact there are numerous levels of hell, and it goes by hundreds of different names. The final thing to help you understand it the key thing... hell is just another plane of existence."

She pauses there to give Cael a moment, and to take a drink of her coffee. It was a lot, but it was the honest too goodness truth, and perhaps it was exactly the starting point to help Cael understand. "You know through science that there are other planets in the solar system, and other solar systems, and other universes out there, right? You can look through a telescope, a tool, and see those other planets and /know/ they are real. To see these other planes, you use the tool that magic is, and you can see them. It's really that simple."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Not quite the same thing," Cael says dryly. "But I guess I see the analogy you're trying to make." She sips again at her coffee before asking uncertainly, "So - this hell. This other plane of existance we're calling hell - do people go there when they die? Or that's a complete fabrication of imaginary-sky-daddy bullshit? Or- ...or what?" Her gaze shifts for a moment to the picture lying face down on the table, but she pulls it away again quickly, looking to Sara instead.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara crosses her legs up into the chair with herself, getting really comfortable.

"Some do, yes," she then answers. "A lot of the power of what people consider deities comes from the belief of their worshippers. You believe... they get power. So while some people are out there believing in gods and goddesses, they're also believing in the devils and demons, some are stupid enough to worship them... and that's where they get their power. The term 'sell your soul to the devil' isn't just a term."

She shifts slightly, getting herself adjusts, then takes another drink of her coffee. "Most souls however, when people die, revert back to the energy of the universe and return to it."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "So, I die and I'm just... gone. The end," Cael asks for confirmation. "...Ashley too. She didn't believe in any of this stuff, so she can't be... She isn't out there, somewhere, aware and..." And what? She shakes her head. This whole conversation is ridiculous. She isn't really going to believe this shit, is she?
    She frowns down into her coffee, her expression uncertain.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara chews at her bottom lip. Well shit, that took a turn she should have expected.

"Everything in the universe comes from the same energies that created all the worlds, plants, animals, and people. The moment of the Big Bang created life not only on this planet, but all over the universe. When we die, we return to that energy. I don't know if there is awareness," she sighs, shaking her head a little. "I mean, I think there is because we can call on that energy and speak with those who have died. To be able to do that, the energy that formed their soul has to remain intact, so maybe... out there in the universe, there is a place for those souls."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Speak with them?" Cael repeats quietly. "I thought Houdini debunked all that shit," she counters. God, she wishes this was whiskey and not just a coffee with Irish cream. Still, it's what she has, so she takes a sip.
    "All my life I believe you died - and you were gone. The end. But you go into 'hell' and come back with two dead guys... You said they weren't really dead, but- weren't their bodies destroyed? Isn't that what dead //means//? And they just come back, and they're fine?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Oh boy, looks like it's time to move into more advance thinking here because Sara realized she was skirting a touchy subject now, especially after just learning about Ashley.

"Okay... Houdini was a magician, he didn't debunk any thing," she says first, building up the rest in her head. "Let me address the 'dead' thing with Strange and Constantine first. They didn't die. When death magic is used as a conduit between hell and this plane, it literally burns the air around the body, making it appear as if the person it just transported went up in fire or turned to ash and blew away. That's what you saw, and it looks like death because the second it happens they're already in hell, and the form of ash left blows away, looking like them dying."

She hoped that explained that, it probably didn't, there were a million things she likely missed. "When someone actually dies, heart stops, stop moving, etc. they are dead, there's no coming back from that," she would talk about necromancy another time. "The energy that makes the body a living thing is gone, people call that a soul, so... the soul is gone, the body decays, that's the end of the body. The body is, after all, just a shell for the energy that makes it a living person, again... soul, whatever. For some people, that really is the end... end of body and soul as they return to the energies of the universe. Some linger as ghosts, specters, poltergeists, etc because they can't accept that they've died, or have unfinished business that needs to be handled before they can move on."

Not making this better, get to the point, "My point is Cael, dead is dead. The young usually go straight back into the energies."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Sure," Cael answers. "Dead is dead." If Sara is right about all this. If all of this is even real. If she hasn't had some sort of break from reality or - hell - maybe she's hallucinating from head trauma.
    Of course, it all leaves her where she thought the truth was to begin with. //Dead is dead//. It always has been. There's no saving the dead. She lifts her mug to her lips for another sip before she'll add, "I mean, that's what I thought anyways, so... Not like that really changes anything."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara glances over to Cael for a moment, "That's not to say that you can't use certain rituals to speak to the dead, if they can be spoken to and aren't just back among the energies of the universe." She continues to watch Cael, then looks back to her coffee.

"Did you want to try and talk to Ashley?" She finally asks.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael doesn't answer immediately, as warring expressions of grief, and pain, and longing, and doubt all play across her features - all while staring intently down in her coffee. "Is that something you can actually do?" she asks uncertainly. "Here? Now?" Without any other preparation? "How? Isn't there any harm to trying something like that?" What could she possibly say to her? What would Alis possibly have to say back?
    ...this all has to be a symptom of her head trauma. Doesn't it?

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara watches Cael's face and all the emotions that cross over it, past it and through it. She had no idea if it was a good idea or not, but she had to ask because it was the right thing to do.

"Not this minute, would take me a couple days to get the needed items," she says softly. "No, there is no harm in trying. If she is there, she'll respond and come to the call, if she is truly gone and part of the energies of the universe, at rest they say, then she won't come... but it doesn't hurt anything to try."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "What items are needed?" Cael asks quietly, still trying to wrap her head around all of this - and give herself a little more time to think.
    If she could talk to Alis - would that prove magic real? There were only things that Alis knew. But mutants could read things in your mind, and that wasn't magic... "If we did - and she answered - that means she's out there somewhere? As... a ghost? In some sort of... of heaven or afterlife?" Not in hell. Not suffering - right? "I still don't really get this. I don't know if it's a good idea or not. Would you try?" She asks, looking towards Sara for a moment. "If it were someone close to you."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Closing her eyes for a moment, Sara takes a slow deep breath, as she runs her finger through her now dry hair. If Cael was watching she might see the momentary gleam of the red gem on the bracelet she wears.

"I don't think it's a good idea to list all the items I'd need," she says quietly, sounding like she might be far away though she is sitting right there, then she adds, "He agrees."

Opening her eyes she looks back over at Cael. "They are easy to gather, just a few things," she adds, then moves to the other part of the questions. "If she answers it could mean a number of things Cael, it could mean she's a ghost, or it could mean she simply hasn't moved on. Not all who die move on or have issues that keep them here, some linger because they can. I can't promise she'll answer the call, but..." she pauses, not wanting to say it but knowing she has to. "Most likely she'll come because those who die from violent crimes, tend to linger and it very well could be exactly what she needs to move on."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "It could help her? She could be..." trapped? Cael's gaze goes from the her coffee - to where the picture frame rests face down on the table. "We met in foster care," she confides. "We ended up in a few different homes together. She was the only one who- We were family, the only family the other had. I'd do anything for her - she'd've done anything for me. It's a shitty fuckin' deal, and it shouldn't have happened."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara nods slowly. She may not know the whole situation but she agrees its a shitty deal.

"I'm sorry Cael," she offers quietly. "I know we aren't that close, but maybe... want to be a distant cousin?" She glances over to her with a half smile. "I don't know if she's out there Cael, I really don't... but if she is, summoning her to talk could help, yes."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "For now, just friends is fine, Sara," Cael answers, glancing aside at her. "No offense to you, just..." Was there really any reason to finish that sentence?
    Nope, not particularly.
    "So. What's involved in this... magic? In trying to summon her back? What do you need to say, or do, or... know? You can do it from anywhere, it doesn't have to be where she died, or where she was buried or- anything like that? How does this work?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
There was no offense, Sara had been mostly joking, but it was also a small test of their relationship and where it stood. Sometimes, the answer isn't what you want to hear, but you get it all the same. She just offers a smile to the answer, letting the subject just disappear.

"Magic is obviously involved. There are a few items needed to create the circle to do the magic from. I'll also need that picture as a centering piece, or something that she owned or gave you." She takes a drink of her coffee. "Then I speak an incantation, call out her name into the aether, and if she is out there, signs will show in the circle. I'll make sure to offer enough energy that she'll be able to appear, so you can see her again when you speak to her."

Cael Becker has posed:
    See her? And hear her, too? There's a mixed pang of pain and longing at that idea - even as Cael pulls at the chain she wears around her throat. When she pulls it out, there's a simple silver gear suspended on it - clearly not anything that was ever meant to be part of a necklace. "I don't know if this would help - she ordered this, to try to repair something for me- as a surprise. She never finished the repair, and I just-" Yeah. She wears the damned gear. "I don't know if that would-"
    She blinks, and then goes, "Well, duh. I have her tool case. I mean, I'm sure that would work better."
    She tightens her hands around the remains of her coffee before she adds, "I think, if this is going to have any chance of working, I have to tell you something. But- I need you to promise you share this with nobody."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara cants her head slightly, one brow slightly raised. "Of course I won't tell anyone Cael," she offers plainly. "I don't repeat things my friends tell me, unless it's a joke or meant to be repeated. The tool case would probably be the better choice, you're right there, but that..." she points to the necklace. "Is beautiful."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "It's just a gear," Cael explains - even though neither of them believe it's 'just' anything.
    She takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly before explaining, "Alis Swain. Her name isn't Ashley, it's Alis Swain, but I can't have people looking up her death because... The trial and everything, it's linked to- It's linked to my old identity. I went into Witness Protection when I turned on the local gangs after she died. Which obviously, it's not something I'm supposed to tell people."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
There were a lot of possibilities that Sara had been expecting. The different name was one of them, protection for herself, for her friend, for a past Cael clearly didn't want to talk about. Witness protection... that had not been on the list of possible thing, so for a moment she has to study Cael with a some what blank expression.

"I'll only use her name as part of the incantation, other wise she'll be Ashley," she says first. "And now I understand a little bit more as to why you don't talk about your past. Being law enforcement Cael, you can bet your skinny white ass I won't repeat any of this to anyone. I assume you are will part of the program, even with your occupation?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Yeah," Cael confirms. "Still in the program, though there's not a lot of people who know. I mean, I presume there's some folks in the Bureau, and SHIELD, who know. And Steve and Sam know - but that's it." Honestly, it's more people than she's comfortable with, but if you can't trust //Captain America// - who can you trust?
    "...but yeah, as a rule - talking about my past is more trouble than it's worth. I try to live in the now."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
A frown touches Sara's lips before she takes a drink of coffee to conceal it.

"There's a few comments I could make here, but I won't... instead I'll start making the list of things to get. I'd like your head a little more recovered before we do it, so give it a couple more days?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Yeah, sure," Cael agrees. "I mean- I still... If it can help her, then I want to do it. But I still- it's hard to believe that any of this can even be real. And I worry that it's join going to... hurt." A lot. What do you even say, if it's your last chance to talk to someone?
    She shifts uneasily on her seat - this is far more honest than she's used to being - with anyone other than he therapist. It wasn't comfortable.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
"Would you rather wait?" Sara asks, standing up to go collect her hair brush and finally run it through her hair. "This isn't something that has to be rushed into, if you want to wait and think it over we can do that... because you're right, it likely will hurt emotionally. So I can understand if you want to wait, or not even do it, Cael."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I don't know what I want," Cael admits. "If she's somehow trapped, and needs help to move on? Then that's all that matters, isn't it?" At least - it's all that matters to her. "And of course I want to talk to her again, but I still have a hard time believing any of this real. And I know that it'll hurt, no matter the outsome, so...
    "So I don't know. It's complicated."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
"Of course it's complicated," Sara states in an almost 'duh' like way, but not quite. "So here's what we do. I'll get everything that's needed together, have it on hand. We'll wait a couple days, see how you're feeling physically. If you're better, then we'll bring this up again, and if you still don't know, then if you want, I'll just decide for you at that time."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I'll decide," Cael answers. After a moment's hesitation, she flips up the photo frame, so she can look at the picture again, her expression tense, and sad. "Let's just make sure we add whiskey to the shopping list, huh? Sometimes unhealthy choices are warrented..." If you can't get smashed after saying goodbye to your sister for the last time - then when can you? Right?
    She takes another deep breath in, letting it out slowly before she adds, "Thanks for being so patient, Sara. I know I'm not always the easiest."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
"Whiskey is always on the list, Cael," Sara says with numerous nods. "I'll get the good stuff, I promise."

Getting her hair smooth down with the brush she sets it down on the table by her phone. "Cael, you're fine just as you are. Friends are patient with friends, sometimes they fight, sometimes they yell, and sometimes they drink until they're both falling down. I'll get the items together, get some good whiskey, and we'll reconvene in two days."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael stares at Sara for a long moment in silence, as if trying to make sense of what she was just told - possibly because she is. Sure, she's been told shit like that before - in therapy. But it was strange hearing it out 'in the wild' as it were. "...sure," she finally answers.
    Pushing herself up to her feet she adds, "I should go lie down for a bit. Make sure you tell your mom how good the soup is - next time you talk to her." That said - she retrieves her photo, and retreats back towards her bedroom, shutting the door gently but securely behind her.