8020/Cross My Heart

Cross My Heart
Date of Scene:	27 September 2021
Location:	Jubilee's Apt - College House
Synopsis:	After moping outside of Jubilation's apartment, Noriko returns to apologize and things go differently this time after Jubilation has a revelation.
Cast of Characters:	Noriko Ashida, Jubilation Lee

---

Noriko Ashida has posed:
The moon is what it is tonight.  It bleeds rays down through one of the windows, illuminating the small table and the girl beyond, whom molders in its shadow.  The speedster hasn't moved since she stormed out earlier and has cried enough tears to leave a wet spot on the berber carpet like a small puddle, no doubt the result of free-hypercrying and blubbering.

At some point, Noriko isn't sure how much time has even passed and has no way of knowing, and she doesn't care...and she doesn't care what Jubes' neighbors might think.  She holds the door in place while she tries to knock on it.

"Jubes.  I don't know if you're there...and I know I'm an idiot but I'm sorry-I don't even remember what I said-and I keep trying-and I just...yeah.  Sorry," she sniffs through the door in rapid fragments.

Jubilation Lee has posed:
    This is a precarious situation. Deep in the vampire condition lies an overwhelming need for security. Some handle this with technology, hiding in elaborate safe rooms hidden in plain sight. Others rely on riches and cloister themselves in faraway castles (or mansions in the modern era.) The more monstrous vampires shepherd a loyal flock of supernaturally devoted familiars tasked with keeping them safe. Jubilee had a door.

    With the door to the apartment knocked off its hinges, Jubilation had no choice but drag her cardboard box from the living room into the bedroom. Interior doors are flimsy and hollow, but they're better than nothing. All of the furniture in the entire apartment -- everything not bolted down -- was dragged into the bedroom and piled against the door. All of her belongings have been piled up against that. Anyone looking to get in to stake her would, at least, have a really annoying time of it and might make enough noise to wake her.

    Jubilation stands with her ear to the wall, just to the side of the barricaded bedroom door. She frowns a little, squinting as she tries to pick up on the bits of sound that resemble Nori's voice. Her hearing is sensitive but she hasn't yet figured out how to finely tune it.

    "What do you want, Nori?" Jubilee shouts at the wall. She doesn't move to go check for herself. Her neighbors don't dare get involved.

Noriko Ashida has posed:
Jubilation's neighbors are probably having waking nightmares at this time of night.  Noriko's hearing is absolute crap compared to Jubilation's, but the response is predictable enough for her mind to fill in the gaps in sounds.

"I want to listen," Noriko accidentally blubbers it out as if her emotion ambushed her.  "I'm sorry," she cries out.  Sniff, wipe.  Ugh.  Her nose sounds stopped up.  She doesn't care about the neighbors either by her volume.

Jubilation Lee has posed:
    It's not what Nori said, it was how she said it. It was that she said it at all. For the first time, she experienced the barby shots that the speedster never once pointed in her direction. That sarcastic quip. That roll of her eyes. The follow up that reminded her of her of a secret shame she wasn't ready to face. Without Noriko to explain herself, her only conclusion was that it was meant to hurt her. It did.

    I want to listen.

    Jubilation's face sours into a frown. Her mouth hangs open in disbelief. "Listen?" Jubilee whispers. This just seems to make her angrier. She grits her teeth and pushes her homemade barricade to the side, no doubt causing a loud crashing of furniture. Her neighbors pretend not to hear it.

    Jubilation swings the interior bedroom door open and storms to the apartment's exterior doorway. She grabs the knob and gives the door an angry pull. Jubes awkwardly stumbles back, now realizing that the school didn't send someone to put the hinge pins back in when it is unable to provide the right amount of resistance to her force. Jubilee recovers from this with little fanfare, gracefully returning to an upright stance. It's equal parts olympics gymnastics and vampire grace.

    "You want to /listen/?" Jubilee repeats with a glare after easily moving the door so it's leaning against one of her walls.

Noriko Ashida has posed:
Noriko actually has no warning.  She's holding the knob on the other side of the door, her other hand resting on it to keep it steady, so when Jubilation yanks the door, Noriko is pulled off of her feet, lets go, and tumbles to the floor in the most graceless fashion possible.

Noriko pulls herself to her knees before the vampire and sits back on her feet, her head bowed respectfully.  "Yes."  She keeps her gaze glued to Jubilation's feet, showing no intention to move.

Jubilation Lee has posed:
    "And what, exactly, do you expect to hear?" Jubilee fires back. For Jubes, it's Noriko who should be talking and the Beverly Hills Vampire does not respond well to Noriko's traditional demonstration of contrition.

    "Are you waiting for me to apologize?" Jubilee accuses, her eyebrows rising. "Well, you've got another thing coming, Noriko Ashida! You're going to be waiting a /long/ time. Remember, I'm going to---" Live forever. That's a sad thought. "....You're going to be waiting a long time!" She chooses not to make that point about living forever. There's a lot of baggage that comes with that.

    "Oh, knock it off!" Jubes demands, frowning a little. She reaches out to give the other girl a gentle shove, apparently to knock her out of this traditional bowing thing Nori might be doing.

Noriko Ashida has posed:
Nori's eyes go distant and her body stiffens as a hand registers along the edges of her eyesight and cognition.  The gentle shove sends Nori off balance somehow and the speedster scrambles right back into position.  She seems to snap out of it quickly with a shake of her head.

"Sorry.  I just.  What am I supposed to do?" other than bow she means.  There is a panicked look in the speedster's eyes.  "I did not ask for an apology!" she insists.  "I said I was sorry!  I don't know what you are going to say?"  But the mention of a long long time is as good as saying forever and Noriko doesn't pry into it either.  It just sits heavily in her eyes.

Jubilation Lee has posed:
    Jubilation blinks a couple of times. For a moment, it looks like she might be getting madder. But... that's not what happens. Her features soften, brow relaxes, and mouth closes. "...You...You really don't know?" she realizes. Jubilation falls silent. Her idea of an apology and what it means is different from that of Noriko and, finally, Jubilee realizes it.

    Jubes takes a step back and rakes her fingers through her hair again. "Give me a second," she says absently. Jubilee opens her mouth to say something else and hesitates. She's a vampire. A creature bound to her emotions. And, for a moment, she needs to set them aside and just...talk.

    Jubes lowers herself to her knees down on the floor. Her mouth opens and closes, as though each attempt to talk gets interrupted by something internal. She's fighting against her Dark Passenger.

    "Nori..." Jubilee tries, her voice breaking.

    "Nori... You hurt my feelings," she manages. It's said with absolutely no emotion, as though Jubes is fighting to keep that back. "But... I don't... I don't want you to..." What is Nori doing, Jubilee wonders? She has no idea. She just knows this isn't a Western apology.

    "Nori..." Jubes tries again. "...I... I just want you to know how I feel. Why I feel that way. I want it to be important to you. I don't want you to... I don't want you to bow. Or... 'Listen.' I want you to talk." She's using all of her power to keep her voice soft and inject love into her tone. The Dark Passenger would not be in control here. Not when Noriko Ashida is involved. The love of her life.

Noriko Ashida has posed:
Nori shakes her head 'no,' she doesn't know.  She's seen so many Western movies and TV shows but no one ever goes over the formalities of apologies, which she assumes there are.  There have to be...or so Nori thinks.

Noriko nods quietly and waits patiently as Jubilation thinks and false starts.  When the vampire lowers to her knees, Noriko sits up a little straighter back on her heels, disarmed for a split second.  Her brow is knitted with worry and pain.  Some people may wonder if it is possible to have empathy for a creature of the night.  Not pity.  Nori sees that battle Jubilation wages to speak, to be present, here, just her.

"It is important to me.  I wouldn't be sorry if it wasn't important to me.  I said...mean things."  Things she does not want to repeat, and Nori's red-eyed look to Jubes communicates just that, a graveness, regret.  "And stupid things.  I do not know what you mean."  She takes a deep breath as if she doesn't feel like she's doing what Jubilation has asked, she's not getting it right.

"I'm sorry.  I suck at this."

Jubilation Lee has posed:
    "Why?" Jubilee asks, looking up at Nori. For a moment, the girl she always knew is sitting there. Not a vampire. Just those brown eyes without the manipulative, dark presence. "Why did you say those things? I thought..." Jubilee doesn't say the rest of that. Revealing that she thought that she was somehow the only person Noriko wasn't mean to is an embarrassing fantasy. The truth is, Jubilee always liked that.

    "I don't need you to bow or be ashamed... Just..." Jubilation hesitates again. How does one articulate the purpose of a western apology if it's not to draw out a feeling of shame? At least the eastern version of the apology is plain in its purpose. What satisfaction is Jubilee looking to get? What would make her feel better? Is it possible that a western apology just simply can't deliver what it hopes to? Could it make her feel better?

    "I just don't know why you said those things to me," she admits, looking away.

Noriko Ashida has posed:
"Jubilation...this is respect.  I have shame because I'm ashamed of what I did.  But this is respect," Noriko tries to explain carefully.  She isn't sure if she quite uses the right words.  Apologies can be complex and highly personal.  She does not want to screw it up.

"You made fun of me.  Not made fun of..."  Poked fun at, but Noriko doesn't know the phrase.  She only knows this one doesn't quite fit.  The curse of being overly fluent.  "You never did that before."  She can't get away from the muscle memory of looking down.  This goes deeper than culture, but that isn't readily evident.  Her tones are gentle, almost confused and hurt, but never accusatory.

Jubilation Lee has posed:
    "I don't want you to be ashamed. Or have to show respect like this..." Jubilee replies simply. "That's... " She's not stupid. She knows where this is coming from. "...Nori, that's Japan. You and I... We're not Japan." Jubilee brings her hand back and forth, sweeping over the distance between them. She's not knocking the country, however opposite it might be to her own sense of self. No, she's trying to explain that the only thing that matters is the space that the two of them occupy. They can have their own traditions.

    Jubilee blinks. When Nori explains that she said those things because she made fun of Nori... She begins to frown. Her Dark Passenger latches on to one aspect of that explanation: if Nori's reasoning was a response, that meant she did it to punish her. She did it on purpose. She wanted to hurt her!

    But...

    Jubilee's face softens as she wins out over the vampire inside. She made Nori feel bad. She made fun of Nori. It wasn't what she had intended but that's what happened. Jubilee's mouth opens but remains silent for a moment. The first word comes in a whisper. "...Nori.." It sounds like it's from a place of astonishment. Jubilee thought she was the one who had been hurt, but... "Oh, Nori..." Jubilee repeats. She reaches up with both arms to try and pull her down to the floor with her. Any thoughts of her own feelings, her own pain, her own embarrassment, are replaced with two words that manage to reach her lips.

    "I'm sorry."

Noriko Ashida has posed:
"I- I know...I just," sometimes her body forgets?  Sometimes her mind?  On many levels, Noriko does not understand all of the complexities that went behind her gesture.  Her own identity seems to be a turmoil of itself in the brief peeks behind the curtains she's thrown up out of survival instinct.

Jubilation's frown seems to draw out more misery in Noriko's expression as if she is sinking.  However brief it may be, it is heavy.  Her eyes lift at her name, just slightly, and then move to Jubilation.  She is easily pulled, her body nearly floppy when Jubilation grabs her and the speedster complies readily.

At Jubilation's two words, Noriko is frozen in tears, overwhelmed immediately.

"...I can't see you," she says as she reaches out blindly to find Jubilation's hand.

Jubilation Lee has posed:
    Sometimes just two words are enough. Sometimes they say everything that needs to be said. Noriko won't find Jubilee's hand tonight. Instead, she'd feel the vampire's arms slip around her to draw her closer for a tight hug. Jubilee closes her eyes and presses her cheek against Nori's.

    Maybe they don't need a resolution. Maybe it's not necessary for them to talk about every angle of this. Of what Jubilee said and why. Of what Noriko said and why. No. Maybe it's just important that they care about each other and nothing they might say could change it.

    Jubilation's Dark Passenger will have to take the night off.