8218/We Have to Talk About Lydia...

We Have to Talk About Lydia...
Date of Scene:	12 October 2021
Location:	Clarice Ferguson's Quarters
Synopsis:	Clarice, Theo, and Pete discuss Lydia's transformation - and the siblings' continued disfunction.
Cast of Characters:	Clarice Ferguson, Raven Darkholme

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Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    Clarice didn't sleep all that long to behonest, before she decided to give up on her battle against the nightmares plaguing her troubled. Pushing herself away from her bed, she leaves it a rumpled mess and spends a long time in shower, just letting the hot water pour over her, as if that could wash away the things troubling her.
    It can't.
    When she emerges into the shared living space she's dressed in soft, fuzzy sweat pants and an oversized shirt, with damp hair hanging around her head and dampening her shirt in dark patches. Without a word yet, she goes to the couch, dropping onto it heavily.

Raven Darkholme has posed:
The boys has actually woke up early, wrestled for no reason at all, then headed to the cafeteria. Returning how, the door slides open and they enter. Theo is carrying a plate heaped with eggs, bacon, some hashbrowns and a /huge/ apple fritter. Pete has in his hands a large, very large, carafe of coffee, as well as a tray with three cups, and of course cream and sugar. Neither had expected Clarice to be awake yet, so for one moment they stood there staring at her, then their brains kicked in.

"This is for you," Theo says with a smile, moving over to offer her the plate. He knew she'd had a long, exhausting night and felt the need to do a little pampering.

Pete walks over to the couch and set the tray on the floor so that he could pour her a cup of coffee, then offers it up to her with the cream and sugar at the ready. "How are you doing?" he asks. He had not mentioned to Theo what he felt, it was one of those things that went into the box in his mind of secrets that would never be shared.

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    Clarice hadn't expected to be brought breakfast, and she looks down at the plate put into her hands. She stares at it for a moment, then lets her gaze be drawn towards Pete for a moment. "...not great," she admits. She offers the plate back to Theo as she adds, "You boys are sweet. Put it on my desk, though. Let's... we should talk first."
    She knows she doubtlessly just kicked their anxieties into high gear - but she doubts there's a good way to handle any of this. Head on is the only real option.
    "Come sit with me - please."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Theo instantly frowns, but he accepts the plate and takes it to her desk to sit down. Lack of apatite, a foreboding join her, not doing great... something bad had happened.

Pete sets the coffee back on the tray and slides the tray away from the couch, but he lets Theo sit first, knowing he will want to sit beside Clarice. And once Theo does, he sits down.

"Who died?" Theo asks bluntly, because he's not one to beat around the bush and it's better to just get it out there.

Pete winces, but he was expecting it.

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "It's not quite as simple as that," Clarice answers. But Theo wasn't wrong. Luckily for Pete - Clarice was sitting in the middle of the couch, so there was room for one of the boys on either side of her. "While we were distracted by China, the enemies of Lydia's coven took advantage of it. They took her. We got her back, but- we weren't in time to-"
    She lets out a heavy huff of air and then just says it. "She was dead. A decision was made - and she was brought back, as a vampire." She stares at the floor in front of her as she says this - but one of her arms has entwined with Theo's, and she gives a tight squeeze - offering comfort? Seeking comfort? Probably both.

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Pete blinks quite a few times. He has no idea what Clarice is actually talking about, not really, but he knows she is extremely upset, so he's the one who wraps his arms around her to offer comfort. He had no idea vampires were real, though he should have suspected it given the way the world was.

Theo on the other hand... he stares blankly at Clarice in silence. He leans in to hug her, sensing she needs one, but when he sits back up he is staring again. "Okay..." he starts slowly. "She died, but was saved and is a vampire now?" He basically repeated what Clarice said, but he has to say it himself to fully grasp it. "So... why is that a bad thing? I mean, that's better than dead, right?"

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "Maybe? Probably?" Clarice answers - grateful for their comfort. "I mean - I don't know. I don't know what this really means, but she seemed like herself... so that's good. But..." She lets out a heavy sigh. "We don't really know what affects this'll have - how this will change her. And I'm sure it's not easy for her, either. Or Raven. So... we'll be there for them. But for now, until we really understand this - I don't want you to be alone with her. To protect you, but also to protect her. Vampires are predators, and if this is something she has to learn to control... Lydia would never forgive herself if she hurt either of you." She looks between them both after saying this, her expression serious. "Okay?"

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Pete is the one who speaks up first, puzzlement in his tone. "Exactly how to we be there for her, by not being there, Clarice?" Is asked before he adds. "You realize that I can shut her down, right? That I can in fact protect myself, and Theo? We can't be there for her if we are avoiding her, that's not fair."

Theo is still attempting to wrap his head around the whole thing, while Pete is busy being his usual logical, calm self. "How about we just say I can't be alone with her," he offers, since his only form of defense would likely ki... "Wait, if she's a vampire, she doesn't breath... that means she'd survive in the pocket, so I can defend myself... but still," he sees the look on Clarice's face. "Let's go with individually, we can't be alone with her, but together, Pete can shut her down if needed?"

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "Do we know that Pete can?" Clarice counters simply. "What do we really know about vampires?" she asks, glancing between them both again. "This is temporary - until we realy know what we're dealing with here. Alright? We can be there for her //together// - or you can be with her in the cafeteria, in the garden... Just for now. And maybe we'll ask her to let us try and see if Pete can 'shut her down.' She might find it reassuring if we have a safe way to stop her, in case she does lose control, somehow."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Pete looks past Clarice to Theo, and the silent debate begins. Theo shifts so he can look at Pete as well, the conversation taking only a few minutes before Theo sits back with a sigh.

"Fine," Theo spits out, not really fine but accepting apparently.

"It doesn't seem entirely fair," Pete admits more calmly. "To act afraid of her, when she's family. We're all dangerous in our own ways, and we don't hear you saying you won't be alone with her, merely putting that stipulation on us... but for now, so long as it's temporary."

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "Just because we love her and want to help her, doesn't mean we throw caution to the wind," Clarice counters - her tone serious. "Just think how much it would destroy her if she did harm one of us?" she points out. "And like I said - it's just until we really understand what we're dealing with here, and we're sure Lydia has a grip on it, as well."
    She moves her arms around both of them, giving a gentle squeeze as she adds, "And I'll be careful - very careful. I saw what some of these people could do, and... it's a lot. But we're going to figure it out."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Theo is still not happy, but he can't find a way to voice the reason why. The emotions just rip through him and rob the reason right out of his head. He understands her concern, that she is always more concerned about him and Pete than she is for herself, but she keeps throwing out these rules to protect, that just seem like small cages with no door. Lydia was family, you don't turn your back on family, for any reason and it felt to him like that was exactly what Clarice was asking them to do.

Pete sighed very softly, his eyes once again on Theo. Even he couldn't follow the wave after wave of conflicting emotions and thoughts, it was exhausting really. It was never this hard at the orphanage, to keep up with what Theo thought and felt, now it was a constant barrage.

"Because we love her," Pete repeats, but he doesn't sound convinced. "Theo, you have to find the words, because I can't. I understand what you're feeling and what your thinking, and then I don't, because you are so... wound up."

Theo looks up from his own lap at Pete for a moment, then to Clarice. "There's nothing to say," he states. "Her mind is made up, there's no changing it, so what I feel or think doesn't matter. We avoid Lydia like she's become a plague until the /adults/ figure it out. Got it."

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    Clarice sighs. She doesn't want this - she's not sure she has the strength in her for another fight with her brother. Not now. "That's not what I'm trying to say," she protests quietly. "And I- of course what you're thinking and feeling matters, Theo. It matters to me."
    She shakes her head helplessly. "Why do all our conversations end like this? I love you, Theo. And I love Lydia. And- and I just want to protect you both. Somehow, I always seem to do it wrong, though..."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Pete lays his hand on Clarice's shoulder. "No, you don't do it wrong," he states softly. "You just... you forget that we aren't children. We stopped being children a long time ago. We may be young, but we have lived hard lives and in some ways, grew up too fast. We both get that you want to protect us Clarice, even Theo gets that."

To this Theo nods, but he just has no words right now.

"We've been taking care of ourselves for a year, and I have for even longer than that," Pete continues. "We both love you, and we love being with you, and we love that you care... but honestly, truthfully, if someone came into your life and started telling you what you could and couldn't do, under the guise of protecting you, how easily would you take it? After everything you've been through, everything you've endured, to have someone telling you, 'I know what's best for you now, don't do this, don't do that.' You'd freak out Clarice, and that's sort of what keeps happening here. You decide, and because Theo doesn't want to hurt you, he tries to accept your decision and fails, because he can't voice in a way that isn't confrontational, everything I just said."

Theo looks back at his lap. He didn't want to say any of that to Clarice, he never wanted her to know that, but Pete was his own person and since he felt the same, he had every right to say it and there it was... out in the open. "I love you, Clare," he whispers quietly, the fight gone right out of him now.

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    Clarice listens in silence, slumped against Theo's form. She's exhausted, and emotionally bruised and battered. She doesn't have the strength to argue right now, even if she truly wanted to. "I'm not your parents - neither of you. I know you've been through a lot. I'm barely older than you. I've... barely had the chance to grow up at all. I'm not half as educated as either of you..." What right does she have to tell them what to do? Ever? If they think she hasn't struggled with these same thoughts before...
    "I don't think you're little children. I know you're not. I- I'm sorry if I've ever made it seem that way. I don't mean to. No one likes being told what to do - I hate it. But it still happens. From Mystique, Magneto, Lorna... sometimes Mister Creed. It's just- it's the way it is.
    "I don't know how else to do things than- than I have been," she laments quietly, tears streaking quietly down her cheeks. "I feel like such a phony. I've got no right to- but I love you both so much. I just- I'm trying."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Theo looks back up at her, then reaches up to swipe a tear off her cheek. "I know it all comes from love Clare, really I do... I don't want to make you cry, I don't want to make you worry. I know this is just as challenging for you as it is for me. I'm sorry, I really am, it's just..." he pauses for a moment, biting his bottom lip. "... it's just so hard. I feel like I keep getting locked into boxes without doors, and I /know/ that's not what you're trying to do, I really do, please don't cry... I /know/ you do everything you do because you love me and Pete... and I'm trying, I really am, to not feel like I'm trapped. I don't even know why I feel that way."

Pete sits back a little, keeping his hand on Clarice's shoulder. "I do," he voices and looks to Theo, who just nods. If Pete knew, by gods say why! "Every time you tell Theo what to do, a part of him feels like he's being shoved back into hiding, like his parents used to do him. Like he can't be himself because he has to do it your way. It's something you both have to work on, that's all."

Theo blinks a few times and his jaw actually drops open. "Holy shit... he's right." He hadn't thought of that, it never once occurred to him, the connection was never made in his head. "But... I know that's not it! Why... emotions suck."

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "I don't want to hide you," Clarice answers, her voice still soft. "I don't want to lock you away. I- I think you're brave, and strong, and- and wonderful. I want you to be yourself, I do." She lets out a humorless laugh as she adds, "And at the same time - I know I'm terrified of ever losing you. And- and I know that's selfish, and hypocritical of me. It must terrifying you everytime I go into a fight, and I hate doing that to you. I hate it. And I feel like such a fake, making you go through all that, and then- then telling you not to follow but- But you're not ready. Not yet."
    She wipes at her eyes, but the tears keep falling - slowly but steadily. The last 24 hours or so have battered her too much for her to keep them in check. Not without shutting down completely. "You can do anything you want, Theo. Anything. When you're //ready//."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
A whole new can of worms that Pete has to close his eyes, take a moment to breath and try to block them both out. He was getting better at the walls, but he still just couldn't completely block them out.

Theo wipes Clarice's face again. "Who decides when I'm ready?" he asks softly, no more anger, no more frustration, just an honest question. "Who decided you were ready? I know you want to protect me from everything, that you want me to stay away from everything, to choose a different path than you, but Clare... I /want/ to choose the same path." He sighs, shaking his head. "I may not want to go this minute, I will finish school, but that doesn't mean I'm not ready to offer a hand when needed. So do you decide when I'm ready or is that on Mystique, or someone else?"

Pete actually opens his eyes to look at Theo, seemed the young man was finally starting to find his words. He had no idea if the words mattered or how Clarice would take them, but these were things that needed to be said. He found himself wondering what would happen when December came and he was eighteen, but that was a conversation for another time.

"Perhaps Theo, that is a question for another time... our sister is not..." he pauses, but he already started so he finishes. "She needs us right now, to be rocks for her to support herself on."

Theo blinks once, then wipes his own eyes and just hugs Clarice so hard she might have troubles breathing. "Ignore the question, we'll talk about it later." If Pete was willing to speak up about something he felt from someone else, it was serious and important and Theo wouldn't mess with that.

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "I told you before, Theo," Clarice murmurs softly. "I'd be proud to fight beside you." Just for a moment, a ghost of a wry smile flits across her features as she adds, "I mean, I do wish you'd choose something else. But I know that's not up to me." And she really wouldn't try to stop him, even if she wanted to.
    ...and, yeah, she does want to.
    She shakes her head slightly as Pete tries to shelve the question for later, as she answers, "Mystique - or Mister Creed. They'd know when you're ready. I would- I don't know if I'd ever have the strength to-" to be the one who determined if Theo was ready or not. It wouldn't be a fair assessment - and she knows it.
    "I love you both so much..."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Since Theo is already squish hugging Clarice, Pete joins in as well, making certain that the magenta mutant may not get another breath that isn't fully filled with one of more of her brother's body parts.

"That's fair," Theo states, and Pete just nods. "I know you want me to do something else, but... I have to help Mutants Clare, I have to make sure no one ever has to live like I did."

Pete pokes Theo in the side lightly as he says, "Hugging now, loving now, tickle now..." and that's when they both try to tickle Clarice.

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "I can understand that," Clarice answers. Because she feels the same way.
    Of course, what she doesn't do is scream out that there are other ways to help. That Theo is brilliant, and could become a lawyer, or a politician, or some other sort of activist. And then she finds herself unfairly assaulted by tickles, when she still feels too tired to trust her portals for such a casual and unnecessary use.
    "This- this is unfair!" she squeaks out between giggles, as she tries to squirm her way free. "I take it back! You're both the worst!"
    When they relent, she relaxes against Theo again - the small smile lingering on her features slowly sobering until she finally asks, "Theo? ...do you want to be the first? You can tell me honestly."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Theo sits back to give Clarice a little breathing room after the crushing hugs and tickling. He offers her a smile as she says, "I was telling you the truth before. It's a scary thing, very scary... a part of me wants to run right out and just get it over with, but the other part knows dang well it's not the wisest thing to do. So... and you may want to brace yourself," he smirks a little at that. "... but I agree with you. Bring first isn't a good idea."

Pete nods a little, just to confirm to Clarice that Theo is telling the truth. It's hard for him not to do that, because he knows that communication is difficult between them, so if he can offer just one little nudge here and there to help out, he will, and he knows Theo doesn't mind.

Clarice Ferguson has posed:
    "Okay," Clarice agrees - quite honestly relieved. "Okay," she repeats. She was glad they agreed - that Theo didn't see //that// as yet another attempt to control and limit him. "We'll get you there, though," she promises, but her stomach interrupts with an audible rumble that has her letting out a huff of amused air.
    "I think I better eat that breakfast you boys brought me. And then I'll message Lydia and Raven to see when we can stop by," she suggests. "Pete - can you pour me a coffee?" Clarice asks - before moving to her plate to dig into her meal, eating half of her apple fritter first. She needs the sweets.