8291/Write Men Can't Bump

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Write Men Can't Bump
Date of Scene: 17 October 2021
Location: English Department, Empire State University, NYC
Synopsis: Peter faces his greatest foe - HONORS ENGLISH. Fortunately, a diligent Helena is there to help.
Cast of Characters: Helena Bertinelli, Peter Parker




Helena Bertinelli has posed:
"Alright class, alright---listen up," the teacher says as she moves in front of the podium. She looks out at the large congregation of students gathered in the ESU lecture hall and begins, "Okay, today is breakout day. Remember? Yep, I hope everybody brought their pencils. Mister Peters, Miss Crane and Miss Bertinelli are all here to handle the breakout sessions."

Helena Bertinelli is standing with the other two teachers on the lecture stage and nods along with the speaker as she explains what the hell is going on. "If you recall, you were assigned by last name--but I knoooow some of you forgot, so I wrote it up here. Last names beginning with P to Z go with Miss Bertinelli. H to O go with Miss Crane ... and A to G go with Mister Peters. There shouldn't be any questions about that. Right?? Right!" She looks at Peter Parker.

"Okay, remember! Your rough draft is due THIS WEEK. Yep, let's get it moving, folks. Show your work to your breakout teacher and they'll answer any questions. Okay, let's do it. Go go go," she tells them, making a SHOOING motion repeatedly.

Helena Bertinelli raises her hand and makes a motion to the students that she's going to the next room for her breakout session. She is dressed professionally in her pleated skirt and white blouse. Her heels click click click as she moves to the door and disappears into the next room.

Peter Parker has posed:
Jeez. Drop one dangling participle, and suddenly your work-study tuition is twisting in the wind.

Peter rubs his eyes, then grabs his beat-up backpack and follows Miss Bertinelli. He looks around as he follows.

Ask him to re-construct a chemical reaction? No problem. Compute an ethics template for an artificial intelligence? No problem.

Put together a five-page analysis of Old English? PROBLEM!

But he needed this course to keep his average up. So, here he was, trudging down the hall behind the young woman, with nary a mugging or robbery to be seen.

Crud.

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Helena Bertinelli enters into the small room that smells of education and dust, motioning to the few other students who come in after her, "Alright have a seat, get your stuff out. Miss Jenkins said you should have your rough draft started and ready for revisions, right? Okay great," she says and smiles slightly, although it's not clear if she was trying to torture them with that news, "Not the worst set of requirements I've seen," she adds.

She leans back against the desk at the front of the room and lets the students settle in, take out their crap, and get ready for more writing. "Okay, I'll come around and help out. Let's get started," she tells them. She walks over to Peter Parker to speak to him individually as the others start work work working like good students, "Mister ... Parker? Right? How are you doing...?" she wonders.

Peter Parker has posed:
Peter looked up.
Not very imposing. A little on the skinny side, boyish face (currently wearing an apologetic smile), baggy t-shirt and jeans, tennis shoes that have seen better days. The laptop would be a high-performer...NINE years ago. So now it's a workhorse barely able to keep up.

"Uhm, I think it's good," he says, bringing up the freeware MS Word clone. "I had a little trouble with Shakespeare..."

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
"Great," Helena Bertinelli says and smiles, although if she thinks that's the silliest comment she's ever heard, she doesn't say so. She only nods and adds, "Do you have any questions...?" she wonders.

She click click clicks next to him and leans her head forward a little to look at Peter's computer screen, "Let's have a look, hmm?" she says, "What trouble are you having?" she asks.

Peter Parker has posed:
Peter scrolled the text until it reaches the analysis of the three-witches scene of MACBETH. "'I conjure you, by that which you profess, Howe'er you come to know it, answer me: Though you untie the winds and let them fight Against the churches; though the yesty waves Confound and swallow navigation up'...I swear, it's like igPay atinLay in here."

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Helena Bertinelli has her dark, raven black hair tied up and clipped in place but it flutters into her face as she narrows her eyes at Peter's computer screen. She pushes it away, "Yes?" she wonders, "So...?" she adds, glancing at him.

"This is where the text implies MacBeth has lost his humanity. Or do you have a different thesis?" she wonders.

Peter Parker has posed:
Peter shakes his head. "I can barely comprehend it. Shakespeare's supposed to be the Be-All End-All of playwrights, but these words are barely comprehensible. I mean, I know that Old English is about as relevant as tea leaves is relevant to forensics, but come ON...'yesty?' 'germens?' I feel I need to Google every fifth word."

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Helena Bertinelli smiles a bit and nods to what Peter is saying, "Well, you have allll week to figure it out," she explains amusedly, thinking about Peter's suffering Shakespeare skills. She holds up a hand if he misunderstands or continues to protest, "Don't worry, I think Miss Jenkins wants to see what /your/ interpretation is, not Google. Just take it a little bit at a time. Maybe pick out something you find interesting and expand on that, hmm? Alright? How about the witches scene. There must be something in there to write about," she explains, perhaps now thinking that Peter doesn't really even have a draft yet! Uh oh!

Peter Parker has posed:
Peter sighs. "Maybe I...look, when I started, I was curious about the cauldron part. Mixing in stuff like eye of newt and all that. Wondering if they were brewing up some kind of organic hallucinogen. Next thing I know, I've got four pages of scientific analysis, and a D from Mr. Castro with the message 'SWING AND A MISS. TRY AGAIN' written in red."

He rubs his eyes. "SO, back to the drawing board. So...I tried looking at MacBeth. It kinda points him as the bad guy from the get-go. 'Something wicked this way comes.'..."

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Helena Bertinelli squints at the screen again and then looks at Peter as if confused, "A scientific analysis...? Of Shakespeare?" she wonders, perhaps never ... ever heard of this approach before in the history of literature analysis. "Four ... pages?" she comments.

"Ah ... well, that's certainly unique, I'll give you that. But the brew is just a metaphor ... it's not really supposed to be a ... magic potion, right?" she asks and wrinkles her nose, "But maybe there is ... something there. Though I guess if Mister Castro said so, maybe you shouldn't take that approach? Hmm?" she says.

Peter Parker has posed:
Peter sighed. "Yeah. He told me I missed the point. It was supposed to be a character analysis, not a science experiment." He looked back to the text. "Anyway...MacBeth. I noticed a thing in this scene. MacBeth is unable to be killed by any 'man born of woman.' It sounds a lot like Tolkien's Witch-King - 'No man may hunder me'..."

Helena Bertinelli has posed:
Helena Bertinelli taps her purple fingernail on the screen, "Well just look what Shakespeare is comparing him to," she tells him, "And what Act 4 says about the whole thing," she chuckles.

Helena looks down at his paper and then at him again, "Alright, I'm sure you can do it. Just pick a detail and go with it. Maybe Act 4 is where you should be," she tells him. She stands up straight again and smiles, "I'll be back around, okay? Any other questions?" she wonders.

Peter Parker has posed:
Peter frowns at the screen, then looks up. "Oh...right. Uhm, no not now...but I might raise my hand in a bit. Maybe I can do a comparison between Tolkien and this Spear-shaker in MACBETH."

He does look like he's got something. Helena can practically see the gears turning in those brown eyes.