84/Interview with a Quinnpire!

Interview with a Quinnpire!
Date of Scene:	23 February 2020
Location:	Arkham Asylum: Interrogation Room / Podcast Setup
Synopsis:	April O'Neil gets her first 'big' Podcast guest, in the form of Harley Quinn locked up in Arkham Asylum! They talk about all kinds of things from Clarissa Explains it All to the Bat-family! The guards are not comfortable with any of it! Its great fun!
Cast of Characters:	April O'Neil, Harley Quinn

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April O'Neil has posed:
Arkham Asylum: The Not To Distant Past.

April had a friend from Berkeley who managed to get this interview arranged. So an interrogation room had been setup for her podcast. Its at least a well lit and arguably cleanish room too!

When Harley was brought in, April was already all setup and ready. Seated in a metal chair across from Harley on the table with the microphones positioned for both of them. Her yellow leather jacket draped on the chair behind her and a white tshirt on with a picture on the chest of Shrek & Donkey smiling.

April had smiled to Harley and asked a few basic standard questions before she did the countdown for the show and followed it with her standard introduction! The only other person with them (other than the guards at the door) is her Show Runner Vernon Fenwick who's off to the side with the three laptops he uses to run the show.

"Harley Quinn." April then says after the intro. "My goodness, I apologize, I'm a little nervous. You're the biggest name I've interviewed to-date, and well... you're also an inmate at a very unsettling 'asylum'. But, really, thank you for agreeing to do this show with me. Anything you'd like to start off with?"

Harley Quinn has posed:
Without all the glitz and glamour of her onstage persona, Harley Quinn is kind of a sad sight to behold. In her dirty orange jumpsuit, cuffed at her wrists, waist, and ankles, and looking like a family of rats has taken up residence in her dirty blonde hair with the dark brown roots showing, the Clown Princess is ushered into the interrogation room surrounded by very big and dangerous looking guards. The fact that one of them already has their shock baton out and ready to pound her if she gets out of line is telling.

She's grinning though, pale lips spread out over pearl white teeth and twinkling blue eyes as she's shoved down into a chair across from April. Her chains are unhooked, but only so they can be attached to the bolted down table.. "O'course! Anythin' fer a fan, doncha know?" Finger waving across the table at April, "OUCHE! Thats' too tight, I can't feel my fingers! Ahhhh... yer gettin' this right? Yer seein' how they treat me? I'm innocent..." She is absolutely not.

Not at all.

Adjusting her seat, she puffs out her bottom lip and looks suddenly keenly aware of her surroundings. "Uhhh... hrm.. Well, is this like one'ah them datin' podcasts? Where yer gonna ask me wha' celebrities I've been seen hangin' around with in Gotham's nightlife? Cus lemme tell you..." Low whistle, quiet giggle, lots of grins.

April O'Neil has posed:
April's got a tablet computer in front of her on the edge of the desk and she's leaned forward on her forearms with her hands pressed together over top of it. She has a grin on her lips and shakes her head to Harley's words. "There's no real specific format here, other than just two simple folks having a simple conversation. We live in a world now where audience attention spans are either five minutes or five hours. This podcast tends to fall on the longer side of those two, though I'm not sure they'll let me have you for five whole hours." She grins for a moment then.

A glance is given down to the tablet, then she looks back up and over to Harley. "This place is something else though, yeah?" Her blue eyes scan around the room with the brick wall on one side and the observation mirror on the other. "I'm not real sure how you're supposed to get any help in a facility like this..." She then puts her eyes back over again on Harley.

"Do you think you need any help, Harley? Is it okay if I call you 'Harley' too? I don't want to make you uncomfortable." She glances at Harl's handcuffs. "More uncomfortable than you clearly already are." She tacks on that bit with a little smirk.

Harley Quinn has posed:
The guards don't go far from Harley and for good reason. The fact that she's still in those handcuffs is a subject of great debate amongst them and there very well may be a pool going as to how long it takes before she looses herself from them. Despite all that, she's grinning at April, fingers laced together on the table between the small metal loops where her wrists are shackled. "Yah, you can call me Harley... or Harl.. jus' don't call me late for dinner, eh? Eh? Is it still funny if ya necrotize a joke from the fifties?"

She tilts her head slightly, staring at April from blue eyes that bleed crazy. Not sadism, mind, just insanity. There's a stark difference. "Do I need help? Look't me, toots... do I look like I need help?" Blinking owlishly, "Hahaha yeah, I totally do, I'm fuckin- wait, can I cuss? Is it okay if I say the ef word? Yer gonna edit it out in post production right? When ya beep me, can it be a kazoo?"

That out of the way, "I like it here. They have really good salsbury steak."

April O'Neil has posed:
Truth be told, sitting across from Harley was pretty unnerving for April, she'd seen this woman's rap-sheet. She knew what she'd been found guilty for, and god knows what she's done that nobody's ever pinned on her! But just talking to her like this? It was a bit of a... it was, kinda fun? So far? LIke if they were talking in a coffee shop somewhere it'd just be like chatting with an eccentric friend, - of which April already has many of those who aren't notorious Crime Queens!

"You can curse, all you want. I won't censor or edit any of it." April replies to her. "This is my own podcast, put up on my own website, and Youtube, though Youtube is a bitch of a shit show lately... but its fine, we just won't end up on the Trending section." April then leans forward and says a little softer "That section is totally curated, its a giant conspiracy anyway."

With a grin, the auburn haired April sits straight again. "And jokes from the fifties are allowed to. In fact, I still watch 'I Love Lucy' at night while I'm writing. Its still funny, if you ask me. Wholesomely refreshing too." There's another little grin given to woman across from her.

"So what DID land you in here, Harley? In your own words. How'd they dump you in here this time?"

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Oh, well that's a relief, I hate bein' censored, ya know? It's like ya take an apple pie, a delicious All American Apple Pie, but ya take the apple part out.. all ya got is crust. It ain't delicious or American no more." Harl has a crazy stare, but an equally crazy grin. Teeth parting as her lips do and hanging that way as she sizes April up. Maybe a little too inappropriately, but it's probably for show more than anything.

"I don't watch none of that shit." Youtube.

"Not since Epic Meal time was takin' off... Sauce Bawse... I love't Harly." Of course she did. Tilting her head now, one lump of blonde hair sits gingerly against her left shoulder. "Ya know what I like? Clarissa Explains it All.. Like think about tha' conotations there. It's about a teenager who has all the answers, creatin' an entire generation of teenagers who think they had all the answers... now look't at us? We're raised by them know't alls.."

"An' they wonder why we're all so sensitive."

Her blue eyes drop to her dingy nails with a look of horror. Wide eyed horror. No amount of rubbing makes them even... "Ya got a nail file, honey?" A guard steps up, "Stop or we'll end the interview..." Said to Harley. "FINE!"

She looks back to April, "In my own words? Chicanery.. One'a them bat-fiends aint nobody believin' in. Which don't make no sense to me, cus how else do ya explain all of us?!" Grump, "So what if I robed a 7-Eleven.. I was hungry an' needed road snacks."

"You beat the clerk with potato chip rack."

"Details."

April O'Neil has posed:
A look is given to the guard after the nail file is asked for. April was instructed not to give the prisoner anything, nor to even reach across the table to get a hand close enough for Harley to grab either. Another look is given to her Show Runner, Vernon who doesn't look very entertained by being here or by Harley, but he's a bit of a fraidy-cat kind of guy, even if he's over 6-feet tall.

"That 7-Eleven has more road snacks than it knows what to do with anyway, right?" April asks with a little grin. But you're right, having uncensored conversations is one of the reasons people like listening to things like this, its the whole pie... apples and all! I don't think I ever saw Clarissa Explains it All, but the name does ring a bell. I'm gonna have to go down that rabbit hole online looking it up once I get home now."

April then raises a hand and points it across the table. "I /did/ watch a couple episodes of Boy Meets World last night though, that show... wasn't very good." There's a laugh from the reporter then. "But, yeah, anyway... How are they treating you around here? What are your thoughts on Arkham as a whole? Do you think this place is doing more good, or more harm?" Its a pretty biased question to ask and the people who let her do this podcast probably won't appreciate her asking it. But she's here for Harley's opinions.

Harley Quinn has posed:
"They /do/." Harley agrees about Seven Eleven being stingy jerks with their road snacks, grinning from ear to ear at April. Looks like someone just made a friend... never feed the animals. The guard isn't paid much mind besides the occational glance in their direction when they get close to her, just to make sure she's still cuffed. There's a terrible tendency for those shackles to find ways to unhook when on someone like her, in a setting like this.

The guards are all waiting for it.

"You didn't like Boy Meets World? Tapanga? Really? Huh.. I guess it takes all types eh?" Harley looks a little disappointed, "I don't know how I felt about the spin-off, mind ya, but it was nice seein' Tapanga again." At that, she's squinting at April. "Ya watch Disney?"

Odd questions are sort of her bag.

Her tongue runs across her lips, into the corner of her mouth, and comes back with something that obviously does not agree with her tastebuds. She spits it out into her palms and it looks like a little fleck of dried blood... or something. "It's not a razor! Don't hit me!" Hands up defensively, holding her palms out to give whatever it is to the guards.

"What was the question?" Oh right, "Oh...Definitely more harm. I came here a completely normal doctor, an' now look't me. Some prisons turn small time criminals into masterminds, this place turns sane people cray cray." Big grin, lots of teeth.

April O'Neil has posed:
April snickers at the Disney question. "Oh, well yes, Tapanga was great. I had a friend who named her cat that when I was little in fact, which has kept that show stuck in my head vaguely ever since. I guess I'm just picky. But yes, I have the new Disney streaming service, I mean... come on. Baby Yoda, right? /That/ is criminally cute." They're definitely all over the place with subjects here, but that makes it more fun!

The fleck of blood spit on the table reminds April - brings her back down a little - to reality that she's /not/ in a coffee shop with an eccentric friend though. She settles a bit and then winces at the last bit of what Harley says about Arkham. "I can get that vibe in a way, this place... I mean, I'm appreciative that they gave me this chance to speak to you, but we gotta get some dialog goin' about some renovations around here I think. But I'm probably in way too deep. I'm a Brooklyn girl, after all, not a Gotham gal like yourself."

With a light exhale, April folds her forearms together on the edge of the table. "Speaking of Gotham. What are your thoughts on the Bats that patrol its streets? I've heard you've had your fair share of run-ins with them. Do you think /they're/ helping this city... or...?"

Harley Quinn has posed:
It's all relative to Harley.

Subjective leaps seem part of the show for her, all written into the script that they're all following whether they realize it or not. It's part of her delusion. The shared delusion of mass hysteria that has befallen this great nation. Grinning like a fool at the mention of baby Yoda. "I just want to eat him right up..." She does not mean that in the cutesy way people say about other peoples adorable dogs.

Licking her chops like that.

She's a hyena.

It's important to remember that.

Her tongue clicks off the roof of her mouth, typical of the Jersey Shores, and then rolls around inside her mouth like a dead fish starved for oxygen on shore. "Well.. tha's a complicated question, aint it?" Her hands clap together infront of her, shoulders straight and squared. She almost looks professional if not for the rats nest of her hair and general disgruntled appearance of her dirty face. Someone who wears makeup too often and has ruined their beauty because of it. Her mouth spreads out like color outside the lines, "From my point of view, I'm the hero.. aint a person alive thinks they're the villain of the story!"

It's easy to forget. Insane as she is, she's also a doctor of psychology.

She's very smart.

Perking a brow at her interviewer, "What kind'a trauma does it take for a person to dress up in armor an' go smashin' on people under cover of night, I wonder? Prolly somethin' pretty profound huh? Like... a lost puppy? A missin' child? I'd /love/ to get one of them baby Bats on MY couch one night.. find out why they're all so coocoo cachoo.. an' you can quote me on that-" Pointing a finger off her hands together infront of her, shackled to a table, "They're all fuckin' crazy."

April O'Neil has posed:
April gives Harley the benefit of the doubt about the 'eating him right up' part, going ahead and assuming she wouldn't actually kill and stew the poor alien baby in a pot! Its safer, and more comforting, to assume she just meant she'd like to hug the little fella like April wants to!

So she grins at the other woman across from her and continues to listen along. "There's definitely something going on there, that would cause the Batman to take on that mantle and use it to counteract the criminal activities within Gotham's city limits. But, from an outsider's viewpoint, this entire city has a bit of a 'theatric' flare to it. It makes things here very, interesting, to those of us who are watching it from relatively far away."

There comes a slight grin then from April after she gives another glance down to her tablet, then back up and over to Harley. "Some are on your side though, Miss Quinn. While researching you online, I found a subreddit page dedicated to /your/ fan base. Cosplayers, theorizers, and just general supporters of everything 'Harley' and no few of those posts were very anti-Bat slanted. Saying that the Bats are the ones created places like... this." She motions around at the room indicating Arkham as a whole.

"But I'm... I'm somewhere in the middle. I don't know who to believe. Or what to believe. What I see though, here now, is a woman who is very smart. Very accomplished in her young life, who's capable of a heck of a lot, if she had the right care and assistance. I'm not one to take road snacks from 7-eleven myself! But... I do think you had your reasons, and they should be looked at deeper, rather than locked up in a place like this hoping they'll 'sort themselves out'. Ya know?"

There's a small grin then. "So what of this 'Joker' fellow you run around with? Any thoughts on him you'd like to toss out here?"

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley adjusts beneath the mention of her fanbase and she grins to herself inrevelry of their existance.. a girl like her? Oh, she certainly knows about them, harbors them even... feeds the trolls for the sake of theatrics because that part is absolutely true. It's never more obvious to the depth of those theatrics as when the actors aren't on stage, here in Arkham. Harley Quinn, she looks like a normal person... normal for an asylum anyways. She looks insane, not fun.

She looks like a ID channel documentary on a doctor who lost her mind and started killing her patients. She looks like a psychopath.

And she is.

"They're darling aren't they? Hey girls... and guys... I'll have a special treat fer my fans soon." Blue eyes settle on April, grinning, "Bet on it."

That's not the subject though, is it?

She goes to say something more, but then April changes gears... and turns sharply down a dangerous road. The grin is gone in a heartbeat. "Mistah J?" Her brow perks ever. so. slightly. Hands writhing together. The way her lips move it's like she's trying to put thought into words, but the words aren't forming into anything, and her eyes moves back and forth as if those words she can't find are laid out on the table infront of them.

"We shouldn't talk about him..." Blue eyes snap back on April, "You wont like me when we talk about him."

The guards, likewise, stand a little straighter. A little more vigilante. Not that they're afraid of the Joker appearing... since their eyes suddenly all turn to Harley.

They're afraid of her.

April O'Neil has posed:
The reaction that Harley gives to her fanbase makes April grin, the mysterious 'special treat' makes her raise her eyebrows up too. "I'm sure that will rile them up." April replies to that then.

But as the subject moves on to the Joker, the tension can be felt and seen in the woman across from her, so April straightens a bit but tries to get eye contact with Harley then. "Hey, if you don't want to talk about him, we don't have to. I just wanted to offer the option... incase you had things you wanted to get off your chest, or just throw out there." She pauses then for a moment before she drops her eyes down to her tablet again. "But yeah, don't have to talk about that fella..."

After a second of looking down at her digital notes, April raises her blue eyed stare again to Harley. "What would you say about the Gotham Police department and the efforts of Commissioner Gordon?" She asks then. "Have you had any noteworthy interactions with the notoriously crooked cops in Gotham? If half of what I hear about the GCPD is true, it surely has to be /some/ of what fuels your... social outbursts, yeah?"

Harley Quinn has posed:
"All my fan's gotta do is come on down to Arkham Asylum in two nights an' there'll be a surprise.." Harley says cryptically, but with an air that this is not at all something that should be broadcast, which is both a trust exercise with April and seeing where her integrity lies. A double edged blade, that.

Her grin continues to flicker between whimsical and dangerous as Joker is mentioned again, if not by name. "Wha' would ya like to know toots?" Hooded eyes, darker because of how she's tilting her head forward. She looks sinister, or could under the right circumstances. Bathed in the glow of a hollogen light fixture, anyone could look like a boogeyman here.

The guards all glance at one another, shaking their heads at April. They can't /stop/ her, but they clearly know where this road leads.

Thankfully, there's a turn.. and it's towards safer environs, "Oh? Gordie? He's a swell fella, if a bit of a boyscout.. really don't mesh up well fer this part of the country.. Some people just aint meant fer Jersey, ya know what I'm sayin'?" Hands out, clanking chains, never forget. "To a degree, I guess.. they let things slide that they shouldn't, fer money.. which is easy to get.. I steal it, they take it to pretend they don't know I stealed it.. it's a vicious cycle. I'm jus' a cog in the wheel, huh? A victom of a corrupt system!" Fists down on the table sharply.

"A VICTOM!"

Guards come forward, hands go up, "SORRY! Jus' bein dramatic..."

April O'Neil has posed:
The thought of pushing the Joker-subject is tempting, but this interview isn't designed to be a 'Gotcha Moment: Harley Quinn' discussion. Its meant to be a talk with the infamous woman, to get to know her as much as she wants to be known and to get it out into the public. Its also not meant to coddle her, but just be... a casual conversation.

Its also April's biggest interview to-date so she doesn't want to get a reputation of cornering her guests into uncomfortable topics.

The bit about 'two days' for her fans to meet up at Arkham is hard not to touch on though. "Is something planned for a couple days from now, Harley?" April has to ask then as she sits up straighter in her chair (its a horribly uncomfortable metal chair that is already making her back achey).

"If you ever got any inside-information on any of the dirty cops, you can always bring that info to me. I'd be more than happy to get it into the right hands to expose anyone that deserves it, you know? You're a resourceful, gal, Harley, I think if you put your focus on the right things you could accomplish some awesome stuff in the name of righteous retribution on any scum bags who've wrong you." April shows the other a sly grin then. "Just my two cents on you, based on my studying of you thus far though. You're a force to be reckoned with, is what I mean."

Harley Quinn has posed:
The guards relax visibly when the subject isn't pressed. Harley gets down right monsterous when Joker is involved, they've seen it, they're not at all comfortable with it. That's not the kind of thing that goes over well in incident reports.

So they fall back and, while not relaxed, look less stressed out.

Harley resumes grinning as if they'd not just degloved the wolf. "Kiiiiind of... but it's a secret, shhhhhh..." Leaning way forward to push her finger against her lips, since she can't bring her hand up that far. She's really flexable.

"You'll have to come and see what it is..."

Grinning even bigger, almost sickenly wide, showing teeth far back in her mouth.

"Oh? Ya think I'm a... whatsit ya said? A force of retributin'? Huh..." Preening, glancing over her shoulder with her tongue sticking out through her teeth, "Ya hear tha' boys? I'm onna the good ones! Ya better be nice to me'er Imma rat ya out fer yer sinful side projects wit some of the lady patients-" They snort and shake their head.

No telling if she's screwing around or not.

And only the word of a psychopath to go by.

She looks back to April, making a very lewd gesture with her right/left hand. Index finger sliding into the O of the other hand. Jutting her head side ways not so subtly towards the guards.

April O'Neil has posed:
Vernon looks up from his computers to those very same guards when they relax too. He's judging his own comfort level entirely off of the comfort level of the guards. April? She's just focused on Harley and isn't really worried about what the guards do or don't want or feel.

The invite to come see what happens in two days is taken into consideration and April bites down on the corner of her lower lip to think about it for a second or two before she just smiles again and nods a single time. "Two days. I'll be here then. But... is there a time frame window I should be shooin' for? Ya know, like when the cable company is supposed t'come work on your television service and they tell you to be home 'between noon and midnight'?" She grins to the other, because its meant to be a joke of course! Yay nerdy April jokes!

A glance is given back to the guards then after Harley insinuates that kind of bad behavior with them and it makes her frown to them, then back to Harley as she leans on to her forearms again. "I really hope thats not the case here, that would be... well that'd be a doors-off-hinges kind of info bomb on a place like this. I would /assume/ at least."

Lggic tells April they'd never let her do this interview if Harley had that kind of dirt on this place though and it could be truly figured out to be accurate no less! But, she admittedly hasn't been impressed with this facility since arriving. But its a mental ward and max security prison too, how nice could it realistically even GET?

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Between noon and midnight." Harley says right upon the heels of April's joke in a completely deadpan voice, staring across the table at her interviewer with that same maniacal grin. "Jus' kiddin', come around seven at night? Gives a girl a chance to get things arranged." The guards should really be paying attention.

They are.

But not nearly enough.

To the inquires, she shrugs. "Not to /me/ personally, but I know a gal who knows a gal who says they cornered her in the showers an' taught her about groceries... are ya familiar with that? Takin' out the groceries?" One of the guards smacks his baton against the metal chair, "Cut it out, Harley." she glares over her shoulder and shrugs.

"It's a millenial thing, they wouldn't understand." Grinning, winking across the table.

"So ya got anymore questions fer me or should I break outta these cuffs now?" Holding her wrists up, which are still very much secured to the table. "Don't worry, toots.. when it happens, ya don't gotta be scared, okay?" Assuring her interviewer, "Yer okay in my book... I wont hurt you."

April O'Neil has posed:
For April, the idea that Harley has something 'cooked up' for two days from now is both intriguing and alarming, so the desire to be here is enough to fuel her to actually do so. She doesn't have a car though, so she'll have to rely on Vernon who'll she'll need to sweet talk into driving her out here... the usual trials and tribulations of April O'Neil.

"Expect me to be here then." She replies to it with a sly grin before her eyes go to the guard who rattles the chair with a little hit of his club. "Taking out the groceries." April quietly repeats. "Well lets /hope/ that isn't the case!"

With a light grin, April shakes her head. "No need to for any cuff removal tricks to impress me, Miss Harley. I bet you've never met a set of those that you couldn't easily break right off in a matter of moments. Me? I'd be stuck for life, I can barely untie my shoes." She grins again then. "As for more questions, I'm a bit of a rambler and a talker so I'm sure we could go on for quite some time. But its up to your handlers in this moment, I'm afraid."

Harley Quinn has posed:
The Guards have had just about enough of Harley's teasing and rebel rousing, to be frank. One of the big men steps forward to grab her by the shoulders while another stabs his baton into her ribs, which hurts, it clearly hurts... but she continues to grin over at April. "Well, we'll jus' have to do this again sometime, eh?" Glaring up at her guards, growling under her breath.. her smile becomes a snarl.

She doesn't attack them though.

That'll get her thrown in the hole.

She needs to be free for her fans!

"Seeya later, April..." Wiggling her fingers at the reporter as her chains are undone, and then resecured to her belt. She doesn't even fight them and she definitely could if the stories about her are true. After being pulled out of the chair and shoved hard forward, she stumbles into a little skip, bobbing her head from side to side as if she's in a sudden good mood.

"Ooooo, I wish I wus an oscar myer weiiineeer.. That's wut I reaaaaaaaAAAahly wanna be!" The sound of her off key chortling can be heard until it fades by way of several sharp turns down multiple secure corridors to the maximum security wing of the Asylum.

"Cus if I wus an Oscar Myer weeeeiner... everyone would be in love with meeeeeee."