855/My Cousin Vinny

My Cousin Vinny
Date of Scene:	29 March 2020
Location:	April's Apartment
Synopsis:	Goons come to April's apartment and run into her roommate, Harley Quinn. Then get disappeared by a ninja Turtle. As you do.
Cast of Characters:	April O'Neil, Harley Quinn, Leonardo

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April O'Neil has posed:
It's afternoon in Brooklyn and outside of the Antique Store some street tuffs have showed up. They arrived in a brown van and piled out with track suits on and gold chains around their necks. Their eyes started searching over the front of the store and they were pointing and talking to one another. The store - being closed - was locked up and the window drapes have been drawn shut for years now.

So the four men make their way around the back of the store, walking down the alley like they own the place. Eventually they end up near the back door and one of them looks up at the camera and stare at it, right into it---

-- Inside the apartment the tv blinks on, if it was off, or a picture-in-picture window comes up to show the men outside all standing around and looking up at the camera.

About a second later one of them takes the initiative and kicks the door hard to try to open it! It thuds the whole stairwell and can be heard up inside the apartment!

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley is home, making flapjacks on the stove with a little flip wrist move to turn one of them ovah. She's popping her gum, singing to herself some song that probably hasn't been popular for seventy years, "In oldin' days, a glimpse of stockin' was look't on as somethin' shockin', but now god knows....... Anythin' gooooes.." The hyenas are with April, out on a walk, which leaves the clown princess to enjoy a very rare afternoon by herself.

Wearing bunny slippers, her newly cut hair is up in a single ponytail. Walking out into the living room in her boxer shorts with little ducks on them and a tight babydoll t-shirt with a cartoon unicorn spearing a donut with its horn. As she exits the kitchen, she shovals back a step, twisting her foot on the carpet. Her hands wave side to side like a flapper as she moves towards the television with her plate of extra syrupy pancakes...

Just in time to see Vinny (racist) staring up at the screen. "Good authah's too, who once knowed bettah wohds, now only use fouah lettah wohds writin' prose... Anythin' goooooes..." Her plate is slid down on the coffee table, shuffling on twisting feet towards her black coat hanging from the rack near the bathroom inside the dining area. She throws it on over her shoulders and grabs up the mallet leaning against the wall. "If drivin' fast cahs ya like, if low bars ya like, if old hyms ya like, if bare limbs ya like, If Mae West ya like... Or me undress't ya like.."

She slips up to the otherside of the door, oposite to the direction it opens, not even flinching when she hears the alley entrance crashing in. "Why, nobody will oppose..."

April O'Neil has posed:
The door doesn't give quite so easily, it was reinforced by Casey Jones last fall. His exact words 'Nobody is gettin' in through this, Babe'.

The door smashes open on the second kick though and Vinny comes rushing in with his pry-bar raised up. He instantly stutters to a stop as he smells the hyena droppings at the base of the stairwell, but his buddies all rush in behind him and one of them pushes him forward in to the piles, stepping in one of them.

So as Harley starts to descend the stair well, she can see all four men, holding bats and metal bars and they're all suddenly confused and distracted by the horrible messes on the floor!

"What the hell is wrong with this woman?! Foh-get it! Tony, go check upstairs!" One of them shouts as he starts to move toward the antique store entrance, while another starts to move up around the staircase, ascending them now and likely about to run in to Harley!

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley is actually waiting on the otherside of the doorway into the apartment. The second flight, leaning her shoulders against the wall with her mallet swinging around like she's playing crocket, swing, roll over her hand, swing in the other direction. Getting the rust otta her arm, cus it's been a while since she hadda brain a bitch. "When e'ry night the set that's smaht is intrudin' in nudist pahties in studios... Anythin' goes..."

Hearing the footsteps coming up the stairs, she waits... then glances down to unlock the door, twist the knob, and open it a crack so he can just walk in. "Oh no, theah ah bad men comin' up tha staiahs, an' I am all alone heah in my undah pants wit no weapons at all! Wha'evah will I do..." The Mallet reels up to oneside, twisting in her palms so the hammer end spins. Ready to get messy.

Leonardo has posed:
There are 3 guys heading up that stairwell. Wait, weren't there 4 a minute ago? There was surely 4 a minute ago. But Joe the Mook is just...gone. Nobody heard him scream. Nobody saw him move.

If anyone bothers to look outside, the mook will be found unconscious on the ground, and under something where his body isn't especially obvious.

The reason he is unconscious on the ground has vanished again, to wherever it is he went. But he knows this particular antique store very well indeed, and he knows where the angles things can't be seen from are, and where to hide to avoid detection. For all that he's a giant green turtle, it's still really hard to see him.

April O'Neil has posed:
The one that goes in to the antique store is... enveloped in darkness and can barely get a word out before he becomes Ninja food!

The three going up the stairs sound like a herd of cattle, with the one at the back of the trio making the most noise, cause he's got the icky icky shoe now that he's leaving a trail up the stairs with.

The first one, is subsequently the largest of them to. Tony. He's the one that works out the most and has the least amount of money because he spends it all on protein shakes and protein bars at the gym. He's the one who rushes the door like a bull and he's the one that just slams right into the partially open doorway!

"Yo, Reporter! We're here to teach you a lesson t'shut your dumb mouth!" Tony shouts while Jimmy and Thaddeus (don't ask, they all make fun of his name) start rushing across the second floor landing too.

Out in the alley? Joe is on his face in the pavement, groaning at whatever just attacked him!

Harley Quinn has posed:
Poor sweet Tony.

Harley is leaning against the wall to his left when he comes barrelling in, mallet up and ready when the door swings in and away from her, curling up sharply with an unusually crisp amount of force aimmed at his face. All bent ovah like that' bustin' in a ladies dooah.. what'a maroon... The strength behind that swing isn't small crazy girl, it's juiced up power by Poison Ivy toxin running through her body like a super serum and snaps his teeth closed around his tongue with brute force. Severing it, cracking teeth, smashing his jaw.

But most importantly!

Sending him flying backwards into the stairwell. Harley's hand reaches out, grabs the knob while they other two are busy trying to dodge their unconscious, face rearranged friend, and shuts it. "Ya nevah come inta a ladies house wit'out knockin' foist. It's rude..."

Her hand slides over and flips off the hallway light. "Aint nobody home nohow, go away. Or Imma hoit ya real bad.. both physically an' ya dignity."

Leonardo has posed:
The funny thing is, when they turn around to see what happened to their friend...the body is just...mysteriously gone. Where the heck did it go, anyway? Seriously, Tony's just...gone.

He is now also moaning in the alley, entirely unconscious. Leo didn't have to knock this guy out...he just made the body vanish to add to the oddness of attacking this place.

Once again, there's nothing to be seen or heard about what happened to him.

The reason for this disappearance has not made an appearance, nor has it made even a sound. Leo, most disciplined of the turtles, just doesn't slip up by shouting Cowabunga like his brothers do. If it's unnerving enough, the others may run. That would be ideal. Then he can pick them off as they flee.

April O'Neil has posed:
Jimmy and Thaddeus ARE forced to get out of the way of Big Tony as he goes stumbling backward toward the stairs. The stairwell is fairly dark too, with the lights inside it never having been flipped on, so when the two start to rush toward the doorway that slams shut, Tony just disappears into the darkness.

"Tony, Where you'd go?!" Jimmy shouts. "Stop foolin' around, this door is locked shut! We need ya t'slam on it!"

Thaddeus raises his bat and hits the Apartment door two hard times. "Open up, Bitch!" He shouts at 'April' inside. "We're here t'deliver a message for No Christmas Kurt! You're goin' down for rattin' him out on your little internet show, ya hear me?!"

Neither of them have any idea that both of their buddies are out in the alleyway now.

"Screw it." Jimmy says as he uses his pry-bar now. Jamming it at the doorfram he tries to PRY THE DOOR OPEN!

Harley Quinn has posed:
"When Missus Ned Mclean, God Bless'ah, Can get Russian reds ta Yes uh, Then I suppose...." Harley, in bunny slippers, rolls across the door when she hears the crack of the pry-bar incerting in between frame and door. Gripping the handle to pull it open just when she suspects Jimmy is about to put all his force forward.

Turns out she's a pretty good judge too.

Soons he leans in on that prybar, there aint no moah counter weight between door and frame an' now he's inside the room wit her... Also, she slams the door back closed. "wait ya turn~" She shouts to the door, and Thaddeus on the otherside.

Cus she's gonna have a one on one wit ol Jimmy heah.

She cartwheels and jumps, landing both feet bunny slippers and all down on the knuckles around the prybar. The resounding crack and pop of broken bones is only slightly less pronounced as the screams of agony. "Oh shut up, it don't hoit that bad... Ya big baby..." Dropping down on her knees, one of them buried in Jimmy's elbow to keep him pinned to the carpet.

The other down on the back of his other shoulder.

The Clown Princess grabs a hold of Jimmy's hair and pulls his head back enough that he can see up into her smilin' face, "Heah's the thing, Billy Two Bricks.. I'm assume'n tha's ya name... anyhow.. Listen.. Ya know who I am?" Whether he does or not.

"I'm Ha'lee Quinn.. so I know ya hoid of me... an' I leave heah now.. Which means if April wants tah go on hu' inta'web show an' make fun of.. Wha't ya say his name was? No Christmas Kurt? Tha' is a friggin' stoopid name..." Pause.. "if she wanna go on hu' show an' make fun of Sad Birthday Georgio she can.. an you can't do shit about it.. cus if'n ya do? If ya come back heah? Oooo Billy... Oh Billy Two Bricks.. Imma go to town on ya like a circus... Imma set up a tent in ya ass an' let midget do we'ead trapeze show in ya descendin' colon... It'll get really uncom-for-table.. we speakin' tha same language?"

Leonardo has posed:
It sucks to be locked in a room with Harley. It equally sucks to be locked on the other side of the door without Harley. Because as Thaddeus tries to reopen the door, he is suddenly covered in smoke that wasn't there a minute ago. Some of the smoke might come through cracks in the door, but mostly, it doesn't.

By the time the smoke clears, there is nobody on Thaddeus's side of the door. Instead, he's having a nap with his pals Tony and Joe.

And once again, not a noise, not a sound. In fact, there's an eerie lack of sound, as Thaddeus's attempts to enter abruptly stopped and were never heard again.

April O'Neil has posed:
So Harley's definitely getting good and close with Jimmy Three Thumbs (don't ask what the third thumb is in reference too), and when it starts to die down inside the apartment, Harley will hear the cries from Thaddeus outside. Pure fright, at least, when the smoke shows up. But the cries are gone really fast when Leonardo dispatches him in true Ninja-fashion!

"Get off'a me, Lady!" Jimmy shouts up at Harley! He knows who she is, most criminals know who she is. Most criminals keep up to date on the going-ons of Gotham City because it's considered the crime spree heaven of the United States and Harley is... the Clown Queen/Princess/Duchess of Crime!

"I didn't know you were here! I got no beef with you! Lemme go, all right?" He's pleading with her now, clearly terrified.

Leo can likely hear it all from wherever he is now, with the slumbering bodies piling up outside of the place in the alley down below.

"I'll tell my boss whatever you want him to know, just... Jesus Christ, where's my backup?!" He shouts toward the doorway then.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley leans in a little, applyin' moah weight to her knee on Three Thumbs broken One Thumb, "Oh tha's real sweet of ya, but... shush up a second..." Glancing now towards the shouts of fright an' then sudden sound of no sound. "B-Man?" She wonders aloud, nah... it's too early an' not Gotham enough foah the bat.

"Wheah was I?" Oh right. "Blah blah blah.. circus.. yeah, I covah'd that..." She's talking to herself, counting off fingers curling into a fist. Pink closed. "doooo did I finish tha lyrics foah tha' last voise?" She didn't! "ANYTHIIIIING GOOOOOOOES..." Ring finger down.

"Ya promisin' me tha woild..." Middle finger up, right in his face, but then she closes it too. That just leaves her one index finger extended. "Now ya blast-femin'?! Foist ya come in heah, knockin' stuff aroun', throwin' ya weight.. shoutin' at me while I'm tryin' ta indulge my sweet tooth... an' ya BLAST-FEM?! Oooo Billy Two Bricks..." Index finger down.

Alls left is a fist.

Which she drives down into the back of his head.

Which drives his head down into the floor.

An him into lala land.

Harley waits.. then stands up. Hands brushing on her bare knees, straightening her boxers so nobody sees nothin' cus this is a PG-13 house hold and casually grabs Jimmy by the ankle to drag him towards the door, which she opens, and hurls him out into the hall way with a bowler swing of her arm.

"Now..." Turning, slamming said door, and heading towards the couch to take her plate of Pancakes. "Air Bud?" BUT WAIT.. he said back up...

"Ugh... I promise Imma eat you, okay..." Pettin' her fingers aroun' the edge of the plate... "no, don't cry..." One finger pressing against the syrupy smile she made out of sliced peaches.. "Shhhhh... soon.."

Leonardo has posed:
Jimmy lands outside the door...and his body just...vanishes. It's like there's an invisible clean up crew that somehow makes bodies go away.

Now that all 4 are unconscious, Leo moves them relatively far away from the shop...and puts them in different locations. He doesn't leave them in particularly nice places either...each one goes in a seperate trashbin. Perhaps, when they wake up covered in trash, they will decide attacking April is a thing they shouldn't do again. But he's fairly certainly they'll get the message, even if they never saw one of the messengers.

But then there's that strange woman in April's place. She gave her name, didn't she? Harley Quinn? Hmmm. Also, she acted like she belonged there. Leo decides not to engage that one...it might ACTUALLY be April's friend. So he'll watch from the shadows, for now.