8586/We Have to Talk About Azazel

We Have to Talk About Azazel
Date of Scene:	07 November 2021
Location:	Mystique's Quarters
Synopsis:	Lydia and Mystique have a discussion about their relationship in regards to Azazel.
Cast of Characters:	Lydia Dietrich, Raven Darkholme

---

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
It's fairly early in the evening, only a few hours after dusk, which is Lydia's morning now. She hasn't seen her lover, yet, which isn't all that unusual. After all, she has the Brotherhood to run, and it mostly runs on non-vampire standard hours. Still, it wouldn't be long until she'd see her so after her wake up routine of feeding, showering, and brushing her teeth, she settled in at her computer to work on her book some.

What she didn't expect to see, however was a text sent to her phone simply stating: 'Helping Azazel, S.O.S. from Hell. Will be back.' She isn't sure what surprised her the most. That Azazel came back to Mystique for help, or that they're trekking down to literal Hell.

The thought of Azazel taking her lover from her and not being invited to help rankles the vampire. Irrational jealousy spikes her heart and she glowers at the glowing computer screen, unable to shake the emotion. The rational part of her mind knows that this is just The Predator acting up and that there's nothing to worry about, yet The Predator fiercely decries this and is convinced that Azazel is making a move on her woman.

She scowls and takes up her personal journal, and starts writing down her thoughts and feelings. She knows that when The Predator begins throwing intrusive thoughts like this at her, writing it down and getting the emotion out in some way helps her clam down and take control again. It works, and in ten minutes time she's calm again.

Raven Darkholme has posed:
The door slides open and Mystique walks into the room. She looks tired yet happy, but unlike the others she isn't covered in the crap and goo from Hell. She pauses there for a moment and a smile spreads across her face. Crossing the room to Lydia, she leans to place a kiss on her cheek.

"See, I said I'd be back," she offers. "Sorry there wasn't time to collect you to go, but you wouldn't have liked it at all."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Even though she may not be covered in goo, the stink of Hell isn't as easily removed. Still Lydia's only reaction to that is a little wrinkle of the nose in distaste before smiling up at her woman.

"I never had any doubts," she says, accepting the kiss. "I don't think /anybody/ would have liked to have gone to Hell. I think that's the entire point of it."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
"I'm going to take a quick shower, you're welcome to join of course," Mystique wiggles her brows. "I know I don't smell the greatest, couldn't get it all off me... the things in hell, zombies, big flying things, demons, imps... have an imp in medbay right now... anyway, after the shower..." This was the hard part, but it had to be talked about. She couldn't ignore it or let it pass, not after seeing him in action again, not after being near him again. "... I need to talk to you about things from my past, if you're willing to listen."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia gets up and starts shedding her clothes. "Of course I'll join you in the shower. How else will you be able to wash your back?" She walks up behind Mystique and gives her a playful nip on the nape of her neck. "I'm always willing to listen. We can talk about your past after we get you clean."

She leads Mystique into the shower and, after a bit of playing, manages to get her clean. Once dry, and reclothed she returns to her office chair to give her lover her full attention. "What is it that you wanted to speak to me about?"

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Mystique returns the favor, even if Lydia was probably already clean, paying special attention and enjoying the attention in return. Usually Mystique settles for choosing something to wear from her own body, but for a change of pace she puts on a large, oversized t-shirt with the words 'National Sarcasm Society - Like We Need Your Support' on the front.

Pulling her own office chair across the room to place it by Lydia, then sits down. "I want to talk to you about Azazel, Lydia," she says softly. "The truth is, I need to talk to you about him. I know you get jealous, just hearing his name, knowing he's around, but there's something you need to understand. I love you, I'm never going to leave you, no matter what may come or go, we will be together until the day you decide you're bored and leave."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
A frown pulls at Lydia's lips. Azazel. The name brings up those jealous feelings again. She /hates/ how territorial she gets whenever he's mentioned. Even now there's an urge to wrap her arms around Mystique and hiss, 'Mine!'

She grunts in frustration, "I don't think I would have been like this if I hadn't been turned," she says. "It's unfair to you. To me. Even to /him/. And I know this, intellectually but the part of me now that's a predator just won't let it go." She looks up to meet Mystique's gaze. "I know you're here for me... with me for as long as we can stand each other."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Reaching out Mystique picks up Lydia's hand, pulling it up to caress against her cheek lightly before just holding it.

"In my life there have been only three people I truly loved," she begins. "Loved so much and so hard that I would murder the world for. Everything, everyone else was a mission, a tryst, a chance meeting for sex or pleasure."

She glances down to her hand holding Lydia's. "The first was Irene, Destiny," she continues after a moment. "She found me while I was still learning who and what I was, we worked together, we loved together, and then she was killed and I lost myself to the insanity of pain. The next was Azazel," she smiles looking back up to Lydia. "But circumstances took him from me, and with what happened to Kurt at the same time... I lost myself to the insanity and pain one more."

Leaning over she brushes a kiss to Lydia's lips, "You are the third Lydia, but you knew that... I can't deny the love I still have for Azazel, even as I love you just as much, just as hard and deep."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia does her best to be understanding, but hearing that Mystique still has feelings for Azazel, feelings just as deep and strong that she has for her, makes a lip curl and a growl escape from her before she can throttle back to where it belongs.

"I don't..." she begins abortively. "I don't like being like this. I don't like how I'm turning into a jealous /beast/. I know that you can be mine will still have feelings for him, and I /want/ to be okay with that. I would have been okay with that." Tears of blood start to wind their way down her pale white cheeks. "This isn't healthy and I can see how many ways that this could turn ugly and then I'd lose you, and I'm /helpless/ against it."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Mystique reaches up and wipes away the tears, not caring they are blood, as she looks deeply into Lydia's eyes. "This is all still new to you, you haven't even touched a twentieth of what you are. I know you hate this feeling rampaging through you," she wipes another tear away. "but you Lydia, /you/ are in control of yourself. You've lost so much, gained something new, and still... you are in control of yourself."

Leaning she places another kiss on Lydia's lips, light and loving. "I can't stop loving who I love, but I swear nothing will happen. I would never cheat on you, no matter how much I love him." Just saying that hurt, but it's what Lydia needed to hear and she would keep her word, no matter how hard that would be.

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
"Am I, though?" Lydia says, red tears still falling. "You couldn't have missed that growl. It sometimes takes me by surprise how powerful it is and things... escape."

Squeezing her eyes shut, she leans forward to rest her forehead against Mystiques. "That's what frightens me the most. Not... you leaving me to go back to Azazel. What frightens me is how tightly wound I have to be in order to keep all these new instincts in check.

"You don't... when somebody comes back from a mission wounded I can /smell/ it. It /calls/ to me like nothing ever did." She looks up and gives Mystique a weak smile, "I do a pretty good job at hiding it, but it's still a struggle. And there are times throughout the day where I have to remind myself that the people who live around us are /people/, not /food/."

"Azazel is just another in a long list of things that I have to struggle with," she says with a sigh.

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Wrapping her arms around Lydia, Mystique pulls her lover in close as she rests her head against her own.

"I know you well enough to know how you've been struggling Lydia," she whispers softly. "But I didn't realize it was that bad, and I'm adding on, adding more pain. I'm sorry for that, I wish I could just..." she stops, because to finish would be a lie.

"I'm sorry. I love you, I love Azazel, and I don't know how to make this better. I can't deny the love, any more than I can deny my love for you. Tell me what you want me to do and I'll try to do it Lydia, tell me how I can help."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia is silent as she continues to cry, and she curls an arm around Mystique pulling her close. She's always been so sure of herself. She's always had an answer, but she just can't see one. If she were alive, she'd be sobbing. She /wants/ to sob, but all she can do is let blood drip from her eyes.

"I don't know," she says miserably. "I can't ask you to stop loving him," she says. "That's not how the heart works. It wants what it wants. It's not your fault. It's not you that brings me pain," she says, cupping Mystique's cheek with her hand. "Nor is it him. It's just /me/, and it's nothing I can /fix./"

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Mystique continues to hold Lydia close, letting the blood tears land where they would and just holding her. She didn't know what to say, she didn't know what to do, but she knew she could be there and hold Lydia.

"Other than business," she finally says. "I'll avoid him. We can invite him up for dinner, see how it goes and how you react, and if it's too bad... I just... I'll avoid him."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia is silent for a while as she considers the possibilities. "I think.... I think I'll be okay," Lydia says, leaning further into Mystique. "As long as I know when he's going to be around. Then I can prepare myself. It's when he suddenly shows up, these feelings take me by surprise. If you warn me beforehand then I can deal with those feelings there and then instead of right in front of him."

She shakes her head, and kisses a smear of blood off Mystique's cheek, cleaning it. "I don't want you to hide yourself from him. I know how much he means to you. I don't... I don't want you to hurt yourself for my sake."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Mystique wipes another tea off Lydia's cheek as well, it really doesn't matter to her that it's blood... they are still tears to her mind.

"He means as much to me as you do, but you are more important because you had no idea," she says softly. "I should have shared, but it never occurred to me that he would come back. I promised I'd tell you the secrets of my past as was needed and well, this is a big one."

She kisses Lydia's forehead, safe place with no blood. "I'll make sure he doesn't just bamf in without warning you, and at some point we can figure out just where things with him are. He's already said, in not so many words, that he wouldn't do anything or try anything, because I'm with you... but I know he feels it too."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia nods her head, moving out of her seat so she can curl up in Mystique's lap. "I hate this sometimes. When it's like this... when I feel out of control. It scares me." She lets out a little chuckle, "Other times it's not so bad. Kind of fun, really. I'm slowly making my way up the American Ninja Warrior courses and the feeling of being able to just /do/ them so swiftly and easily is exhilarating, frankly. And feeding... my God. If I don't actually think about what I'm /doing/ it's... you know how good it is."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
As Lydia shifts into her lap, Mystique wraps her arms back around the woman and snuggles against her.

"Yes, I know about feeding," she breaths, kissing Lydia's neck now. "And honestly, it's something you /should/ enjoy Lydia. You aren't killing anyone, blood comes back, and if they're willing to donate, like I am, enjoy to your hearts content."

Resting her head against Lydia's she closes her eyes. "I'll let Azazel know, a text first before popping in, in case you're in the same room. I don't want him surprising you. I'm used to it honestly, so it never occurred to me it would be a problem."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia makes a little murring sound of contentment when she feels her lover's arms are wrapped around her. "I think this is a compromise I can work with," she says. She draws in a breath just to let it out as a sigh, "I sure do hope this gets easier the older I get. I'd hate to be struggling this much ten years from now. Hatshepsut seems to have it under control so I think I'll be okay."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Mystique nibbles a little at Lydia's neck, then kisses again.

"It's something you should ask her about I think," she whispers against her lovers neck then nibbles again cause she's there. "I don't want to do anything to upset you, ever. I hope you know that, that none of this was intentional. I just..." she sighs softly and lays her head on Lydia's shoulder.

"Here I am with the most wonderful woman in the world, so madly in love with her that she's a Vampire so she wouldn't die, and I'm talking about Azazel. I just don't want issues," she whispers, trying to get her thoughts out clearly without upsetting Lydia. "I need you to tell me the line Lydia, tell me what you find acceptable regarding Azazel and I, so I don't cross it."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia stretches her neck for easier access to nibbling. "I know," she says. "He literally popped up out of nowhere. Nothing you could have done."

She considers where 'the line' would be. The point to where things have gone too far. She runs through different scenarios through her head, but can only come to one conclusion. "Just don't sleep with him and I think I'll be fine."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Although Mystique isn't even aware of it, her entire body winces at the line, Lydia can feel it even if the cobalt mutant isn't completely aware her muscles even did it. She expected that to be the line, and she would keep it, but it was going to be exceedingly difficult given the past they had, the love they shared and really, it wasn't fair to Azazel, so she'd just have to stay away from him.

She doesn't say anything, instead she kisses and nibbles at Lydia's neck, letting it go, accepting the way it would be. Monogamy was so damned difficult to her, she didn't understand it, but she had made a promise and she would keep it.

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia feels Mystique's distress through the tightening of the muscles. She can even hear it through the change of rhythm in her heart beat. It startles her, though. She thought that that line would have been self evident. If you're committed to somebody that you wouldn't just sleep with somebody else.

She pulls away from her and gives her something of a harsh look, a narrowing of the eyes. "You were hoping for something else," she states flatly. "How could you be with him when you're with me?"

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Mystique looks up at her, realizing in that moment that Lydia had a huge gap in her relationship education. She blinks a few times and shakes her head. "Lydia, it's not important. You're monogamous, that's what you believe and want," she says softly. "The other types of relationships don't matter, that's not who you are. I could explain polyamory to you, open relationships, menage a trois... but it's not who you are, so it doesn't matter."

She offers a some what weak smile, "I told you before, monogamy was difficult for me, but that I would do it, for you. That hasn't changed."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
"I..." Honestly? She didn't remember Mystique saying that. Not that she doubts the woman or anything, it just must have been something that she had taken for granted. "But it matters to you," she says. "So it matters to me. I don't want you to compromise who you are because of me."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Mystique actually laughs a little. "But you'd compromise who you are for me. No," she snorts. "That's not how it works, you can't tell me I don't get to, and then do it yourself. I knew what I was saying, what I promised, and I'll stick to it. If you want to know more for your own sake, that's different, but I'm not compromising anything, I'm keeping a promise I made."

Her arms remain tightly around Lydia, as she looks up into her eyes. "Polyamory is the ability to love, be loved, and share your life with more than one person, without fear of rejection, anger or jealousy from the others in the relationship. This is something that is done with the understanding and acceptance from all involved, that no one is more important than the other, that the love and affection transcends the usual levels that monogamy allows, that even if you fell in love with another woman and spend time with her, slept with her, and loved her just as deeply as you love me, that I would accept and know that you love me, that love doesn't change and isn't effected by your love for her."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
"I see," Lydia says mulling it over. Of course she's of polyamory before, but she's never really heard it explained quite like this. Her notion of it had been that it was more about sex and sleeping around rather than love. It still doesn't quite click with her, though, although that's perhaps because she's a romance writer and still believes in One True Love. How can there be Two True Loves? Or more? It's just something she doesn't get.

"I don't... that just doesn't feel right for me. I wish it did because I want you to be happy, too."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Mystique nods, "As I said, not who you are. I get that, and I know what I promised. I won't say this is going to be easy, because it won't be, but I will keep my promise. I'll just avoid Azazel save for business, so there's no chance of him getting the wrong message or signals, because those signals are there, they are always there when he's around."

Reaching up she caresses Lydia's cheek lightly, "I don't want to hurt you, and when it comes to him I don't trust myself."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Not trusting yourself. She gets that. It's how she feels about what she calls The Predator inside her. It makes it easier to think that it's something else, something that she can control instead of an integral part of herself now. It's the thing that rears its ugly head whenever the talk of Azazel comes up. "I know what you mean," she says, with a chuckle. "We'll both have to learn control when he's around."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Mystique closes her eyes and lays her head against Lydia's shoulder again, willing herself to just let it go, to savor what she has, it could be enough if she let it be, right? Lydia was wired differently, she'd known that from the beginning and accepted it, but she hadn't expected Azazel to bamf back into her life. How could she have?

"I think I should sleep," she comments, knowing full well that night was when Lydia was most active. They were still working on the adjustment, as Mystique had to be up in the daytime and still required sleep now and then.

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia nods, running her fingers through Mystique's hair. "I'll come to bed with you until you fall asleep." It's become something of a routine with them, now. Lydia will cuddle with Mystique at night until she falls asleep, and then in the morning, she'll crawl back into bed for when she wakes up.

It makes her sad that if they want to spend the day together, Mystique has to be the one that stays up all night for it. She tried staying up all day once, but it proved to be too difficult for her. The sun just saps all energy from her leaving her able to do little other than walk around listlessly.

She disengages herself from Mystique and heads to the bathroom to clean up. And from there? Snuggles and maybe a bit more.