8615/Ghost Therapy

Ghost Therapy
Date of Scene:	09 November 2021
Location:	Medical Ward: Triskelion
Synopsis:	Cael goes in for therapy with Agent Sims - which takes an unexpected turn when a ghost from her past quite literally makes an appearance.
Cast of Characters:	Jonathan Sims, Cael Becker, Sara Pezzini

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Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon's set things up so he can be in his Queens office some of the time and then back at the Triskelion others. He's going to wind up stretching himself a little thin, maybe, even with a reduced client load, but never let it be said the man is anything but a workaholic. And it's good to be back in the swing of things, doing the work he trained for. Let's just... not talk about the patient who showed up this morning. Best left unsaid.

    There's a little office in the medical ward set aside for these sorts of sessions. Mauve chairs and soothing pastoral prints and the like. Jon's gotten permission to use it for the SHIELD people who are going to meet him for therapy, and so he's there waiting for Cael even before the time they'd agreed to for her to actually come in and talk to him.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael is prompt - it's something that's been trained into her given the work she does. An agent being late for an assignment can have disasterous results on a case - and besides, as crude and even downright rude as she can sometime be, she does honestly believe other people's time to be valuable.
    A rap sounds on the door that's rather on-the-dot, and after she gets permission to enter, she opens the door to glance around, her gaze lingering a moment on one of the paintings. "God, this room is //awful//," she mutters. "Are those actual sheep? I mean- do people find that shit soothing? Is that the point?"
    There's a pause of about half a beat before she corrects herself with, "Err- I mean, hey, Sims."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon chuckles and gestures to one of the other chairs in the room. "I didn't decorate. This isn't really /my/ office, so I can't very well just throw everything out and start over, but I might suggest some, ahh... changes." A pause, and then he adds, "Many people do find pastrol landscapes soothing, yes. And sheep. But please, sit down."

    He waits a moment for Cael to get settled, then says, "I'll start with the usual disclaimers, which is that what you say here is for the most part covered under doctor-patient confidentiality. SHIELD is... a little different in how things work. Anything directly related to your work for SHIELD will go in your personnel file, much like an AAR might. Anyone outside of that... Chief Carter will have access to my notes if she needs them, but otherwise it will stay between you and me."

    A pause, and then he adds, "I /do/ have an ethical responsibility to report if I feel you might be a danger to yourself or others. That means if you're self-harming or suicidal, or if you think you might, ahh, snap and go on a rampage here in the Triskelion." He smiles slightly. "I'd just tell medical, though, nothing you say here is going to leave SHIELD at least."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael does settle into the offered chair, crossing, then uncrossing her legs. Eventually, she ends up withone leg pulled up onto the seat of the chair, her arms wrapped casually around it. "Thankfully, I haven't felt the urge to kill anyone who hasn't //really// deserved it," Cael remarks in a dry tone. "And an ICER is a girl's best friend." She pauses a beat. "The fox is doing fine, by the way. Don't know that we've learned anything useful from him yet but- well. Hopefully."
    Then with a wry smile she adds, "I have done therapy before so- I know how it is. And honestly, if I did end up a danger to someone, I'd want to be reported. So - no protest here."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon nods. "Of course. It's standard boilerplate, though." He smiles. "I'm glad to hear about the fox doing well. I... was actually worried." Dang softie.

    He sits back a bit. He has no notepad or anything, so he folds his hands in his lap. "Well... why don't we start with what your goals for therapy? Is there a single, specific event you're trying to deal with or more... general issues?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael gives a shrug of her shoulders before remarking, "People can be assholes. Animals can't. So... I mean, you have to //be// an asshole to not want the fox to be okay. Leaving him out there, all mutated and shit, wouldn't really be doing him any favors either, though," she points out bluntly. So yes - while it might have seemed heartless, it at least seems to have come from the right motivations.
    There's a moment of silence after Jonathan's question as Cael tries to decide on an answer to that - and eventually decides to be rather blunt about it. "My dead sister says I need to stop being such a bitch because it's not like me."
    ...could there be more than one ghost following Cael around? Or did she mean the teen that looks //nothing// like her?

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon blinks slowly at Cael. "Is this, ahh, the ghost I saw the other night? The one in the mechanic's coveralls?" He glances around the room, as if pondering whether she's there or not. After a moment he actually presses his Sight open to see if there actually is more than one ghost floating around Cael. You know. Just in case.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "...yeah," Cael confirms quietly, her gaze shifting away from Jon, to an indeterminate location on the floor. "That's, umm... She's Alis," she explains. "My foster sister. The only real family that I ever- She died a while ago. We were still kids. She got shot and, and it was tough - and it seems like she thinks I should just get over it somehow, and move on." So, there's that.
    "Plus I saw two guys get turned into dust, and one guy get turned inside out, and a fourth guy end up with his head and shoulders out one side of a tree trunk, and his legs out the other, and his torso fused with it." She pauses a beat before clarifying, "He was dead." It'd be worse if he weren't, honestly.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis has been sitting on the table listening, middle of the table to be exact, eyes rolling a few times at Cael. She knew that her sister needed this, to talk to someone, but a shrink? Well, maybe it would help because... OMG did she really just say that?

On the table one of the magazines slides right across the surface toward Cael as Alis swings her legs over and stands up and whispers in Jon's ear, "That is not what I told her. I told her she should /try/ to get over me and move on with her life."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon turns his gaze on the ghost, and then... blinks as she whispers in his ear. "She... ahh... she says you should /try/ to get over her and move on with your life." A pause. "I would... note that grief is rarely a straight line, and those we love rarely leave our hearts forever. But it /is/ important to... not be stuck in one's grief."

    Jon frowns. "As for the rest... well. That... is a lot to have seen, all at once." But he'll let Cael react to 'Alis is evidently talking to Jon' before he digs into that.

Cael Becker has posed:
    The magazine that falls to the floor naturally earns Cael's attention - a frown crossing her features. After all, she can't hear the whisper, or see the other girl. But... that can't have been Alis. Could it? Sara had said it was impossible. "Yeah, well... I'm trying, aren't I?" she asks. "I mean... a month or two ago, I didn't think magic was real, and I thought that- well, that once you were dead, that was it. Everything was over. And now- now I learn that my dead sister's apparently been following me for years, and she's pissed at me for caring too much - I know, I know, that's not what you said." But it is very much how it feels.
    "...It's a lot. And I'm trying." Her gaze remains fixed on the fallen magazine, her arms still draped around her leg.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis now understands the difference between what she said, and what it felt like to Cael. A frown touches her lips. She supposed it /could/ be taken that way, not that she meant it that way at all. This means she will need to rethink how she approaches the topic and how she says things, which really wasn't an easy thing for a permanent teenager.

Walking around the table she walks around Cael one time, trying to figure out if she can do it... can she? Sara wasn't a test, she could always see her, just like this shrink could... but since that trip to the island, things weren't the same.

While pacing Cael catches a shimmer, Jon can see it as well but to him it looks like ripples.

"Got it, I don't word good," she whispers, hopefully to the room, she had to try.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon watches the ripple as Alis walks along, blinking slowly, curiously. "It's good that you're trying," he says to Cael. "The goal of therapy is usually to learn better coping mechanisms. To make sure you're physically healthy, and help you learn how to better deal with the mental things. Or even just to have a place to talk, if that's all you need."

    He trails off a bit, eyeing the ghost and then Cael. Did she... hear that?

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Yeah, well, the coping mechanisms I've got seem to be a bigger problem for som-" Cael's words cut off, her gaze going first to the strange shimmer, and then to Jon with a questioning, confused look. "Did you do that?" she asks. "I- Alis?" she asks uncertainly.
    "You... You word fine," she offers cautiously. She hadn't just imagined that. ... right?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis jumps around like a happy little maniac, and through the table then back over by Cael.

"Yes, it worked! It totally worked!" Even in the excitement, which is clear in the tone, it is still a whisper. "Yes S... er... ahhh... it was me." That was close!

She looks over to Jon, "Need me to leave?"

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon waves a hand. He's... not gonna cry. Not /here/. That'll be later, at home, with Martin having no idea why. "No, no, it's fine, go on. This is probably a good place to start." There's whole /reams/ of possibilities, in people getting to talk to the ghosts of their dead loved ones.

    Then he blinks, and asks, "Are you... stuck or something, because she hasn't moved on?" It's a reasonable assumption!

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Alis?" Cael repeats, still a little disbelieving. It'd exhausted Sara to bridge that gap the last time. She was going to try to find a solution but- she hadn't yet. "You're not doing this?" she asks in bafflement.
    "I, uhh... I offered to try to help Alis already, but said- I mean, she's more worried about me. I'm- I'm fine, though. I mean- yeah, I know I've got issues, but it's not like I'm... miserable or anything."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis studies Jon for a moment. He seems to have it together but still, she doesn't know him all that well. Cael trusts him, so she'll trust him.

"Yeah, that's sorta the problem," she admits, still whispers, even if to her it sounds normal speaking tone. She's still working on this whole talking and appearing thing. "I feel drawn to stay near her, make sure she's alright and get on with her life, and for the most part she did, but not really."

She looks back to Cael and shimmers again, while standing right in front of her so her sister can actually see her for a moment, but only a moment. "I'm sorry Sh...Cael..." damn it. "But you aren't fine, you aren't alright. I mean... you want me back so bad that you don't even see the people around you, the friends and family you could have, but hey... that's why you're here with this guy, right?" She jerks a thumb his way, not that Cael can see it, but Jon can.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon shakes his head to Cael. "I wouldn't begin to know how. I can /see/ her, but I can see many things. Granting that sight to someone else... I suppose I could..." He shakes his head. Theorizing on how his telepathy works is something for later.

    He looks between the two. "Is that true, Cael?" he asks softly. Not 'Agent Becker' at the moment. "It's okay to not be okay. To not be handling things, and need the help figuring it all out. But you have to start by admitting the problem."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "But she couldn't do this before," Cael replies - uncertain what it all means. It was a good thing, though. ...wasn't it?
    "I don't need family," she adds towards Alis, her tone momentarily fierce, as it locks onto where she spotted - for a moment - the form of her sister. "I can't-" She couldn't go through that again. She couldn't.
    She shifts uncomfortably, her arms tightening around her leg before she adds, "It's... //possible// I've changed quite a lot over the past 7 years. It is hard sometimes - and I do want her back. Who wouldn't?" And she does - doesn't she? Have her back, in a way. Not completely, but...
    "I haven't made a lot of friends, lately," she admits - a bit grudgingly. "I just- I do my work. It helps people, it- I try to save people from what happened to Alis, 'n me."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis moves around the table again to whisper just in Jon's ear. "See what I'm working with here?" Then she walks around the table and sits herself by Cael on the floor.

"I don't know why I can do it now Cael," she says, finally getting the name right on the first try. "Something to do with that messed up island we went to... anyway, you do /too/ need family, but I'll let Jon tell you about that."

She flickers again, to let Cael know where she is now, but she doesn't say anything else. The rest was on Jon, until she needed to speak up again to poke Cael in the right direction.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "So something about that island... hmm. That... would be worth letting WAND know, but only if you're okay with that." Jon's looking at Cael. "Regardless of the reasons, though..." He pauses, thoughtfully. Considering how to help.

    Finally, "You said you'd been seeing an FBI therapist, after your... encounter. Did she recommend any particular treatments or course of action? To get a sense of where you're at, right now."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "It... is worth telling them," Cael admits - a bit grudgingly. She didn't like telling them that she has a ghost trailing her, but... "Would it be possible to keep it anonymous? Just tell WAND you'd become aware of a spirit who'd been exposed to the phenomena?" She did not want her sister - dead or alive - to become a test subject - and some of that shows in the stubborn set of her jaw.
    She glances down to where her sister had been sitting, then back over towards Jon. "I could have the records released to you. I mean, I've had some cognitive therapies - some exposure therapy. I didn't used to- Just thinking about the day Alis died was- It was a struggle. It's still hard, but it's not where as bad as it was."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon raises a brow. "Exposure therapy when they didn't believe in magic? That sounds..." He shuts his mouth, hard. He's /not/ going to just up and badmouth another therapist, even if he's thinking rude things about them. But he goes on, "That might be helpful, yes. As for telling them about Alis... I think that's up to you two."

    He hesitates a moment, then says, "I think I need to know what happened in the Botanical Garden. I'm sorry to ask, I know it will be difficult--but I need to understand the extent of what happened in order to help you." A pause, and then there's a slight... static in his words. "So can you tell me what happened?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Oh, the magic shit?" Cael asks. "God - no. We barely touched that. She didn't seem to believe me, so-" Cael stopped talking about it. That's about as far as it went.
    At the suggestion that the talk about the Garden, though, she takes a deep breath first, letting it out slowly, and once more fixing her gaze on the ground, rather than looking towards Jon as she talks. "I was on a surveillance job for the FBI," she explains, and I heard screams in the listening equipment. I triangulated it to the gardens, and when I got there - there were these... fucking pixies, or sprites, or fairies or something." She doesn't know how to tell the difference - and she's not sure she cares. "They were literally cutting people's throats. A few people were bleeding out on the floor, everyone was screaming and running - how do you fight something like that? You can't fire a gun into a crowd like that, especially when the target's so small. I did- I managed to get one with a nightstick," batter up, "hope its fucking skull split," she mutters.
    "...then things got weird." Yeah, they weren't weird yet.
    "These weird tendrils - tentacles? - of blackness were reaching for people - that's when I saw the guy get just- turned inside out. It grabbed him, and he just- He didn't even scream, I don't think he had time. Plants were reaching for me - other plants were withering, it was chaos. And then I got a civie up, dragged him towards this... gazebo thing, that's when we went past the guy in the tree, and we took shelter in the gazebo.
    "And there was this plaque - this bronze engraving - that changed. It had a woman and a child when I first looked at it - I swear - but then... I mean, there was this one guy, and a pillar of darkness came down and struck him and he cracked and shattered. Another guy touched the plaque - and he turned to dust and... and blew into me. In my hair, my mouth..." It was pretty unnerving obviously, to guess by the way she hugs tightly at her legs. "And then I looked back at the plaque - the child and mother were gone. An owl took flight, and turned into this old woman, who then... turned into a pregnant lady, her hands on her stomach, and then... It just... It all stopped. I don't know why. We tried to help the injured, but- there were bodies. People killed by the- by the magic. People trampled trying to escape. I still... I have awful dreams,' she admits. "It's bad. It's pretty bad."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon listens the whole time, silent and almost pinned in his chair. Something happened when he spoke in static, something hard to read. His eyes widen a bit, and by the end he has to actually take a moment. Deep breaths, in and out, slowly.

    Then, "That sounds... horrible," he says softy. "Did you ever find out what happened? Did anyone?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Sara discovered something about it," Cael admits. "Something about death magic. About... the man who shattered, and the man who turned to dust, not dying, but being teleported... She- well, she said something about going to hell, I think, to bring them back, but I- I wasn't really in a place to talk about it. I couldn't really accept magic was real. I didn't want to. God, I still with it wasn't," she murmurs - before her gaze flicks to where Alis had shown herself a short time ago. "I mean- well. I... I guess I don't." She shakes her head. "It's still confusing."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon nods slowly. "And... what sort of... you say you've been having nightmares. Your sister says you've been acting differently since her death. What sort of... symptoms have you been having, I suppose is the question?" He seems somewhat more energized, after hearing Cael's story, oddly enough. He sits up a bit, regards Cael curiously.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I've been having 'symptoms' my whole life," Cael mutters quietly. "Drug addict single mom, foster kid, got involved with a street gang, watched my sister get murdered... Real healthy childhood, you know." She says it all flippantly - of course there's nothing actually flippant about any of it.
    "...I didn't used to be so brusque," she admits quietly. "I drink. ...a lot, sometimes. I have nightmares. The smell of gunpowder, with the smell of grease and oil - not a combo I run into often, but that's... that's a bad combo for me. Umm... And there's some floral scents that remind me too much of the Garden and make me- ...jumpy. And- yeah. Dreams. My dreams suck - pretty frequently."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon nods slowly. "I can't diagnose you with complex PTSD without hearing more about your childhood but I'd suspect you have typical PTSD, given the trigger reactions and the nightmares." He glances to Alis for a moment, then back to Cael. "I'm going to need to see the files from your FBI therapist, but I can start by suggesting, if you think it might help, that you learn more about magic. It sounds to me like some of your trauma surrounding that incident is rooted in the... /strangeness/ of it. Perhaps knowing more will help."

    He shifts in his chair. "I'll warn you, however, that PTSD and C-PTSD can both be treatment resistant. That just means it's not a condition like bipolar disorder, where I prescribe you lithium and teach you to manage your mood swings. With your case, we might need to try a few things before we find what works. There's medications, of course, and also a few different psychotherapy options. Are you willing to take medication?" He lifts a brow; by his expression 'no' is an answer he'll accept and work with.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis leans over and whispers in Cael's ear, "Say yes, because you are, or should be. If they'll help make it all less painful for you, then you should try it."

Picking herself up them, she walks around the table again to Jon and whispers, "Total PTSD, you nailed that on the head. Her childhood was way worse than mine, and mine ranked 8 on the scale of suckage out of ten."

Cael Becker has posed:
    There's a small, startle response in Cael's shoulders at the sound of her sister's voice so close to her, and she turns her gaze towards the sound - her head shaking slightly.
    "I really prefer not to," Cael answers quietly. "When you're in the system - it's easier for them to throw drugs at you, than fix you. Maybe a small dose of something, temporarily, while we work on an issue... fine. But... I really don't want to end up back on five medications."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon nods. "I understand your concern, definitely. My approach is to treat medication... well, the same way I would if I were treating a physical injury. I'd give you pain medications, but I'd /also/ get you physical therapy." He considers a moment. "How about this--I'll prescibe you an anti-anxiety medication for acute attacks, to help while you learn better coping skills. It's up to you when you take it, or whether you do at all."

    He considers a long moment. "As for anything else... I think I'll ask Agent Wilson about adding yoga to the training routine. Whatever my... /personal/ issues with divorcing yoga from its spiritual roots, it /is/ a useful therapy option, and good for the body. And... do you mind a bit of homework?" He actually smirks.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis repeats her pace around the table to Cael, then her form shimmers again and she tries to hug Cael. What happens is a chill of cold, Cael seeing her for a moment and then very briefly feeling that hug.

At the same time she whispers, "This isn't the same, but trust me... I understand. He wants to help, he's not like the others, give him a change, give it a chance. If you hate it, tell him and stop. That simple."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "That sounds do-able," Cael agrees with Jon's suggestions - only to find herself being hugged by her sister. A shiver runs through her, at the same time she feels the urge to throw her arms around her as well - but would that even work? And in a moment, the sensation is gone. "Alis..." she breathes quietly.
    A few tears streak down her cheeks, and she takes a breath in and holds it, as she struggles against the urge to cry. "I- Alis thinks I should try the drugs." But there's still hesitancy, and uncertainty in her voice.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon looks toward Alis. He'd heard. "It's up to you," he says, very softly. "I can /promise/ you that my intent is not to just... throw drugs at you and send you on your way."

    He hesitates a moment. He... doesn't usually reveal personal details to patients, but they /work/ together. And he's told her before. So he says, "I... told you I'd had a bad experience in my childhood, that the therapists I got sent to didn't believe me. Some tried to put me on antipsychotics. I was /nine/." He sighs. "That's why I decided to become a psychiatrist. Because I wanted to do better. So please, believe me when I say that I do want to /help/. Maybe we try medication and it doesn't help. Maybe it does, and you stop. Or maybe you have to be on it for the rest of your life. But... it's rare that something like this works with /just/ medication. So... if you'd like, I can try giving you something to take every day, something to help you not need to turn to drinking." A pause. "And I'll send you some links to look at, detailing some psychotherapy options so you can decide what you might like to try."

    He leans forward a bit. "I want to /help/, Cael. I don't want to check a mark on a form and then send you out the door. I want to improve your life. But it's /your/ choice. Always."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael doesn't answer immediately - though her gaze does flick towards him, before silently searching the space in front of her, futilely searching for some hint of her sister's face. She doesn't like this. She doesn't like this //at all//. "We can start on a low dose?" she asks cautiously. "I don't mind homework. I'll even try fuckin' yoga, though it sounds like new agey bullshit," she can be nothing if not casually insulting. "I don't want to be so drugged I can't finish a math problem." Ever. Ever again. Cheeking your pills is a skill - a skill she'd had years of practice at.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis tries to make herself seen again, and she will keep trying until she gets it or finds she can't ever do it, but she will keep trying. Another flicker, this time she lasts a little longer, holding a thumbs up toward Cael before she stops being able to be seen.

"I swear I'll get it," she whisper mutters. "Cael, if you don't want to do it, then don't... try other things first, see if they help. I just want you to keep an open mind, and remember this guy isn't the system," she glances toward Jon. "Not the system at all, he actually cares."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon snorts at 'new agey bullshit,' but then nods. "Starting on a low dose and working our way up is /standard/." He can't /quite/ keep the anger out of his tone. Throwing high doses of drugs at children is unconscionable--but he's not here to rant about the malpractice of other therapists.

    "Besides, if you were /that/ drugged I think our superiors would have words with me. You have a job to do. We want you on the lowest effective dose. Have you ever tried sertraline or paroexetine? Ahh, Zoloft or Paxil?" He glances to Alis and nods. "And you can change your mind, right now or any time in the future. I can write a prescription and you can decide not to fill it, and we'll do something else."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I don't want Paxil," Cael answers immediately, her gaze locked on that point where her sister had been a moment ago. This was weird. This was so weird.
    "I'm not losing my mind, right? She is here. Sara saw her too. I- haven't just wished her into existance, somehow, in my mind - because I've wanted her back for so long." Look - the question bears asking.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "You're not hallucinating," Jon says, voice gentle. "I can see her too, and hear her, though it's harder to hear when she's over by you. That... is why my /first/ prescription is learning about magic, and particularly ghosts. I'll see what WAND can let you have access to, with your clearance. The more you know and understand, the less you'll question your own sanity."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis actually gets frustrated enough she screams, which starts as a whispering sound then gets louder and quite suddenly, a pop... and she's standing there. The only indication that's she not completely there is a slight transparency to her form. She had no idea she succeeded however, so she starts talking again.

"No, Cael," she says, no more whisper. "You're not losing your mind, I'm just not getting it right. I /think/ I can let you see me but it's more difficult than I thought, but I am here, you aren't crazy... maybe a little noodly, but not crazy."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Even if it's quiet - you know it's a scream - it just sounds distant, and you cn see the wince on Cael's features plainly. Alis has been through enough - she doesn't mean to cause the spirit more pain. As she becomes more solid, though, tears gather in her eyes as she holds a hand out uncertainly towards the girl. When Alis takes her hand - she finds she can gently pull her in, and she soon has her arms wrapped around the teen, tears streaking down her cheeks. "I want you back," she manages to get out. "I want you back, and I know it's probably not possible, and I should let you go - and I'm being selfish, but I- I only just found you again, and I want you back. I've missed you so much... Alis... I'm so sorry." I'm so sorry...

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon sits back a little, smiling. There's not much to say, here--this is the two of them, and talk of therapy and medications can wait. There's something sad in his features, maybe wistful, but he doesn't comment, letting them have the moment.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
When she's touched, Alis realizes she did it, she made herself seen. The hug is welcomed and returned, though her sense of 'feeling' isn't the same, she can still sense the closeness and that will work for now.

"You don't have to be sorry Shell," she offers quietly, hugging as tightly as she can. "I know it hurt you, I know you never got over and I know you want me to stay... who am I tell you what you should do? Maybe this is what it's meant to be, and maybe I'm meant to be like this and with you... but you gotta try with Jon here, okay? Try to find all the pieces and put em back together, cause you need more family than me, and /I/ need more family than you... so you have to get us both more family."

Cael Becker has posed:
    That suggestion gets an urgent shake of Cael's head. "I can't do that, Alis. I can't. I can't." A note of almost fear creeps into her voice, as she says that. "Friends... sure." Maybe. "I- I'll try to make more friends."
    But not family. No.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "She's not there yet," Jon says gently to the ghost. "It can take time. And friends are important, too. 'Make more friends' is a good place to start, I think."

    While the two connect, Jon pulls a small pad and pen out of his inside jacket pocket and starts writing on it. Two prescriptions, and then a third paper on which he writes a few other notes.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis side glances to Jon, the man had better be taking notes on all this or she'd haunt his ass in his own home, and with her new poltergeist abilities, she could do so effectively. Looking back to Cael, she hugs her tighter.

"Okay, breath," she soothes. "Friends first, that works, you can make us some new friends. Sara's a friend. You said so, I like her, she's patient and scary at the same time, so that's one friend, right? You can trust her, talk to her, hand out with her... just have to work on that hanging out, relaxing, socialize thing. Friends first... we can do that, right?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Sara," Cael agrees quietly. "Sam, too." She lets out a quiet, almost humorless laugh. "My friends tend to be a bit on the busy side. But maybe we'll get together, play some Final Fantasy. Yeah?" she suggests. "I am trying... but it's hard."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon sighs. "It is hard. But it's important. Connections are important. Everyone needs a different amount, but people /do/ need /some/ social connections." He looks down at his scrip pad and adds one last sheet.

    Then he holds out the sheets. There's a prescription for low-dose daily Zoloft; a prescription for Klonopin at a relatively low dosage that says 'as needed'; a list of therapies to look into (CBT, CPT, EMDR); and then just 'Make More Friends'. He's literally prescribing friends.

Cael Becker has posed:
    It's only reluctantly that Cael releases her grip on her sister - her gaze still locked onto her, as if she's afraid to look away. Afraid that if she looks away - she'll vanish. In the end, though, she does look towards Jon, taking the scripts and studying each one - and letting out a quiet snort. She waves the last one and asks, "And how the hell do I pull off this one?" she asks bluntly.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis looks over Cael's shoulder, "Which one? Making friends? Easy! Less work and more play!"

She keeps her hand in Cael's, so she can feel her still there, though she wonders to herself how long this will last. "Nice list doc," she then adds as she looks at Jon. "You did good."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon grins at Cael. "I have found, typically, that it starts by talking to people. Maybe try going to the rec room more often, maybe the food court. Maybe see who you connect with on missions. Make an effort, that's all I mean." The grin softens a bit. "I know it won't be easy. None of this is easy. But it's well worth the effort."

Cael Becker has posed:
    There's a moment of silence as Cael looks down at the paper in her grip - her other hand still holding to Alis. "...I used to know how," she admits in a quiet voice. "So I'll try," she agrees. There's a brief pause before asking in a dry voice, "So - on a scale from 'One to OH GOD RUN - just how fucked up am I?" she asks.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis looks over Cael's shoulder at the prescription in her hand, one brow lifting.

"Oh I like you doc, I really do," she says before looking up to him. "I think you might be a real winner in your area of expertise." She gives Cael a little nudge that the woman can actually feel.

"Shrinks don't run Cael," she teases softly. "They walk away and just don't come back, but you aren't nearly as bad as you think you are."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon eyes Cael for a long moment, as if considering whether to snark or be serious. He settles for replying in just as dry a tone, "I would say 'just about where I would expect given your history,' which is to say a firm 11 on a dial of 10--understanding that I'd peg the SHIELD average at about 13." He smiles. "Public service, of /all/ sorts, is hard work and often draws in those who already have reason to be... a little messed up. Even the most well-adjusted person is likely to feel the stress of the job over time."

    After a moment, he adds, "I often tell my patients to remind themselves of their strengths. Some people do it in the mirror in the morning or at night; some whenever they're feelling down. But... however 'fucked up' you may be, you are also an FBI agent and an agent of SHIELD. You are, from what I have seen, very good at your job. Sam Wilson has trusted you with his flight suit." He smiles. "Remember that, when it gets tough. You have a strong core, a sturdy foundation. Our work here is to help build on that foundation. I think the prognosis is good."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael nods to Jon, still holding the scripts lightly, and turns her gaze to the mostly-corporeal spirit beside her. It was strange, and she didn't understand it - but she'd take it, because this was something she'd wanted so badly for so long. Something she'd dreams about (good and bad) that left her weeping, either way.
    "How long can you do this?" she asks Alis uncertainly. "What do you feel? Can you feel? Are you... unhappy? Are you in pain? Is this what you want - to exist like this?" Stay, please stay. She doesn't ask it, but the silent hope is no doubt communicated through the way she continues to grip her hand.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis nudges Cael again, a little harder this time as she say, "Stay focused, this isn't about me right now." That response was mostly because she had no idea how long she could remain visible, and the other questions weren't something she had even thought of so had no answer for. What did she think, feel and what? Who knew?

The last seven years had been an interesting exercise of screaming into the abyss and never being heard. Of following Cael and watching her sink deeper and deeper into depression, shoving everything and everyone away, and yet becoming an FBI agents, keeping her had above water to fight the good fight despite her own pain. Jon was right, Cael has a strong core, but Alis had never once in all that time thought about herself or what she wanted. She had been drawn to follow Cael, not knowing how, or even knowing why she existed as she did, in fact she still had no idea.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "It's an important question, Alis," Jon says softly. "And... I expect Cael's going to need an answer, eventually. Part of... often grief is harder to bear when we feel someone is taken too soon. Not that it's /easier/ to say goodbye to, say, an aging parent who's had a good life and made peace with their own death. But there isn't as likely to be the feelings of unfairness, of futility. I'd expect it's important for you to know Alis is alright, yes, Cael? That you're not being selfish, wanting her to be here?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Yes," Cael confirms quietly. "I need to know, Alis," she insists. "I'm gonna try to work on things - to get better - but it can't just be what's right for me. It has to be what's right for you, too. I know you want to help me- and you are. But I want to help you, too - because I couldn't before." She has to blink tears out of her eyes, and hold her breath for a few moments to keep her breathing from regressing into sobs. It was hard to block out the image of Alis dying in her arms, all those years ago. Maybe Alis didn't remember that moment? It would probably be a blessing, if that were true.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis frowns a little, though her hand stays in Cael's. Reaching up she attempts to caress Cael's cheek lightly, and manages just enough of a touch to feel pleased. It was a constant work in progress right now.

"I have no idea how long I can maintain being seen and heard, it's new," she admits first with a slight shrug. "I don't think about how I feel or don't feel. I can tell you I don't hurt, I don't feel pain, even when someone walks through me." That makes her giggle for some reason.

"I was unhappy, but I'm not so much any more. Yee was the only person I could talk to before, and he's all business and boring. There's been others along the way, here and there, lingering like I do, but they seemed to have no purpose and all and I... well I have a purpose, to be with you. I don't know if that's right or wrong, and I don't really care. That's my purpose right now."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Okay," Cael answers. "Okay." That was something, at least. She takes a deep breath in, and lets it out slowly. Was this really Alis? All of her? Was it some sort of fragment, or echo? Did that matter? It was //enough// like her to- well. To be her.
    "I don't want you to be unhappy. And I- I do want you here." It'd be a bold faced lie to say anything else. "But if you were unhappy, if you wanted to 'move on' or whatever the hell happens - I'd try to help." She gives a small shake of her head before adding, "I wish I could have seen you. I wish I'd known you'd been there - all this time. There's a lot of things I wish."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis presses up against Cael and gives her hand a squeeze, since she's still holding it.

"I wish a lot of things as well," she admits with a smirk. "But I'm not going to voice the really big one, the elephant hanging over me... okay, that's a scary thought." She gets an odd expression and looks up, as if trying to figure out how you'd get an elephant to hang above someone.

"I'll say this though Sh... Cael," dang that was hard. "I'm only willing to stay and be seen and heard so long as you keep trying to get better, make friends, etc. I'm dead," she looks back to Cael's face. "And you need the living. So, that means keeping up with the doc's prescription for friends and working on socializing and becoming yourself again."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Why not voice it?" Cael counters - her gaze flicking upwards as well - even as a brief smile flicks across her lips. Yeah - that was the kind of stupid fucking joke she and Alis'd've made as kids - and it was nice to hear that shit again.
    "I'm going to keep getting better. I- 'cuz you're not wrong... about me. I used to make friends. I used to smile, and relax, and joke more. I know that - I've changed. But I'll never be 17 again, I'm not just going to go back to how I was - I can't. But I'll find ways to get better."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I think the term is 'elephant in the room,'" Jon says wryly. "Usually it's a sword hanging above one's head." He looks to Cael. "But... yes, I think it's good for you to have both. Family, friends, co-workers, therapists."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis looks over at Jon now, canting her head. "Wow, you are so messed up, I mean really.... cause I'm dead, like dead-dead, with a capital D. It should have been go directly to the after life, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars, Xs over the eyes... dead. Yet some how, you're saying, professionally, 'stick around, be family ghostie, this is great!'"

For the longest time she just stares at Jon, as if silently judging him, then a smile finally spreads across her face. "Yep, I like this one... he's a keeper Cael."

Looking back to Cael she says, "You can't counsel the dead, so the idea of wishing I hadn't been shot is kind of stupid on so many levels it's funny... and you can hang an elephant with a crane, but I was thinking sword of Damascus." Nope, she still didn't get it right, but closer.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Should've been, yeah," Cael agrees with Alis. "Thought you were - but here you are." It's weird, and wrong, and wonderful. All of those things.
    Her eyes flick Jon uncertainly for a moment before she adds, "The only family I need is already here." She knows Alis is going to like that claim - and she doesn't care. She doesn't care one bit. She doesn't need more family. They die, and leave her.
    "We can't wish what happened away," she hates saying it - but she knows it's true. "But maybe you can counsel the dead. You're here, after all." Learning her name, even if she keeps almost fucking it up.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon smiles easily. "You're not the first ghost I've talked to. I actually know two vampires. I watched a woman die once, and saw her spirit pulled away by the wind." The smile dies, and he shakes himself. "My point being... death is not the end. It is /a/ end, and beginning of something new. What I am saying, professionally, is that you should have choices the same as anyone else. So what if you're dead? You still /exist/."

    A pause, and then, "...It's Damocles. The sword, that is."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis gets that 'doh' expression, "Damocles! I knew that!" When clearly she didn't, well she may have but forgot. "And thanks... nice to know Cael and Sara aren't the only two who accept my being living impaired."

Turning she looks right at Cael, right in the eyes. "You need more family, we're starting with friends and going from there, but you best start thinking about it in the long term."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I don't," Cael insists quietly. "Not everyone has family. It's not the way it works." She takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly before adding, "I swear, I'm gonna try not to live in the past. But I can't-" She honestly isn't sure what to say, so she shakes her head in silence instead.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon's expression is sad, sympathetic. He of all people understands Cael's stance, but it's not his place to tell her what to do so much as guide her. "Take your time with it," he says. "We'll work on friends first, and the other things there." He nods to the scripts.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis finally let's go of Cael's hand and pokes the scripts a few times. If Cael doesn't take them, she will, and shove them in Cael's pocket herself. She understands that pain Cael feels, she lived it for the first few years she followed her sister around unseen and unheard. Wanting to be back, to not be dead, and be there for her, it had consumed her, but as time past she came to realize there had to be more to her existence. That as about two years ago, when Alis realized that as a dead ghost haunting things, she was handling her own death better than Cael was, and that Cael needed her.

It was only luck that Sara had happened and allowed her a chance to yell at Cael in the flesh, so to speak, and whatever it was that happened on that island was making it possible for her to be around without Sara exhausting herself... but she was coming to realize that this was going to be a long, long road for Cael. She was just... closed.

"Time for me to disappear again," she finally says, feeling it at the edges of her being, a tug that almost made her /feel/ pain, but more a remembering of what it was. "I have to recharge or something."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "We'll work on it," Cael agrees. She had her limits - but she was willing. She was coming to the table.
    At Alis's declaration, though, there was a momentary flash of something akin to pain, or panic - she didn't want Alis to go. But it was just temporary... right? Then she'd be back again. "...okay," she replies, forcing a smile into place. "Well. I'm not going anywhere - and we'll talk again later. Just - you know - when we're on our own, or when I'm with Sara, or something." She's not ready to have her dead sister popping in and out around the rest of the Triskelion - that's not something she wants to have to explain.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis gets this mischievous look on her face, a devilish sparkle in her eyes as she wiggles her brows at Cael.

"Whaaaaat, you don't want to introduce to the hunky Steve Rogers?" She teases, then looks over to Jon and winks. Sisters will always be sisters, that is clear, and apparently even death couldn't keep these sisters apart for too long.

"Don't worry Cael," she then offers, after letting Cael squirm a little with that thought. "I won't pop up at random times just yet, I promise... and I will be here, even if you can't see me, I promise."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Oh, God, leave the boy scout out of this!" Cael protests - but even as she says it - there's a genuine smile back on her lips. She misses this shit - she'd missed it so much. As the other girl sobers up, though, so does she, giving a nod of understanding.
    "Okay," she agrees. "Maybe we can talk a bit - at the end of the day, you know?" She'd like that - to be able to chat for a bit, about her day, with her sister. "You saw me crash the wings the other day, didn't you?" she asks. "It was pretty great. Everyone's allowed one crash, yeah?
    "Anyways. We'll talk later. You can tell me how awful I've gotten at Final Fantasy. Go... rest. Or whatever."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon snorts softly at 'one crash.' Sure, Cael. It'll just be the /one/ crash. "I think," he adds, "we should meet weekly to start. Just to... get a good baseline."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis gives Cael one more quick hug, Jon gets a thumbs up and then she just sort of fades out. She had popped in out of frustration, but relaxing and letting it go was so much easier.

"Well talk to night," she says as she fades. "About the boy scout!" And then she's gone.

Jon of course could still see her if he was looking, making a face at Cael from the now nothingness that she was. "Do you really think I should stay?" She asks Jon, since she can still choose Who hears her, and her voice is back to a whisper.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael groans loudly. "You have got to obsess about someone more interesting than the boy scout!" she counters, letting out a sigh - but the smile still lingers on her features. They could talk later. Her sister wasn't //gone// - not anymore. She'd never truly been. And they could have a relationship again...
    She looks down at the scripts still held in her hand, and then she evens them up, folding them into fourths so she can tuck them into her wallet. She'd deal with all that later.
    "She //is// still here. Yeah?" she asks.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon nods glancing over at Alis, partly to indicate to Cael where she is and partly to acknowledge her. "I think... I think that's largely up to you. But for now, staying is, I suspect, what you both need. I'm certainly not going to suggest we /banish/ you. I think your sister might shoot me if I did."

    He looks to Cael then and adds, "I'm with you, on Captain America. He's handsome, I suppose, but can he sing? Dance? Cook? Looks aren't everything, or even anything." He says it rather blandly, the lament of one far less interested in physical characteristics than anyone else he's met. "Hold your ground tonight."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael hadn't heard the question from Alis - so Jon's response to her catches her a little off guard. "Wait- what? What did she say?" She looks between the 'empty' space and Jon, her expression anxious. "We're not banishing her. If she- if she wants to move on, I'll help her. But we're not-" She said she'd be back. She said they were going to talk- ...it's okay, Cael. It's going to be okay.
    "Yeah, uhh... I'll give her hell. We'll find someone, uhh, more interesting for her to obsess over." No they won't, but Cael intends to try.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "She asked if she should stay," Jon says to Cael. "I was just trying to reassure her--and you--that it's really up to her, and up to you." Rather blandly, he says, "The Chief told me I only need officially report anything to do with official SHIELD operations, not personal matters. The ghost of your sister is personal. So I won't be reporting her existence. But for now... I think she wants to stay."

    He stands, then, maybe to help guide Cael on out. "I'm afraid I can't help in the 'obsessing over' department. I have terrible taste, on the whole. I'd probably suggest Tony Stark, but that seems like a terrible idea." He smiles, and offers Cael his hand.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis nods to Jon with a big smile. "I do, I really do, I just... don't repeat this part, I just want to make sure my being here now isn't actually hurting Cael more than helping her, get what I mean? Tell her she should leave you alone now, you have your own life to live, the hours up." She grins even more so at this.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael takes the hint, rising to her feet, and taking the man's hand. "Thanks for your help - and for the time, Agent Sims," Cael agrees. "I, uhh... I guess I'll see you next week," she agrees. Then, letting out a huff of amusement, she adds, "Or for a 7am," she rolls her eyes in an exagerated manner, "//yoga// session. Even if it is new agey bullshit. And let her obsess over Tony Stark - at least he's more interesting." And it's not like the relationship would go anywhere.
     She gives the man a nod, before turning to make her way out - simply presuming her sister will follow her, utterly unaware she may be lingering for a few last private words.