8652/A visit from Hattie

A visit from Hattie
Date of Scene:	12 November 2021
Location:	Mystique's Quarters
Synopsis:	Lydia gets a surprise visit from her sire, Hatshepsut. She's taught how to tame the beast, at least for a while, which gives her a surprising moment of clarity.
Cast of Characters:	Lydia Dietrich, Raven Darkholme

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Lydia Dietrich has posed:
It's somewhere around two in the morning. Mystique has been tucked into bed and cuddled to sleep, and Lydia is working on her book. She's been editing the part where her protagonist gets turned, now having some first hand experience with it. It's altered the course of the story somewhat, and she's working to reintegrate it to the larger plot. It's a fine balance, weaving her experience as a vampire in the real world versus the vampire mythology she's come up with.

Having hit a good place to pause, she gets up and stretches out her muscles, unaware of the natural grace that being undead gives her. She considers for a moment going down to the Laughing Magician or the Curio to see who's up and about, but decides that she really should focus on her work.

Walking over to the minibar she goes and makes herself a Manhattan. Not much of it. Just enough to sip throughout the night and enjoy the taste. She makes her way back to her desk, and closes her word program, pulling up some social media to lose herself in for an hour or two.

Raven Darkholme has posed:
The chime of the door is more silent at night. It still sounds, but not in a way that would wake people. Hatshepsut had decided it was time to check on her Childre and see how she was doing since her Embrace. That wasn't to say that she hadn't been watching Lydia when she was on Earth, because she had been, but it was time to physically check in.

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia ears perk at the soft sounds of footfalls outside her door which alerts her to her guest before the chime does. Already out of her seat she goes to the door and opens it up to see who it is. "Oh!" she says in pleasant surprise. She wasn't expecting to see her sire here. "Come on in!"

She takes a step back to let Hatshepsut in and gestures at one of the comfy chairs. "Make yourself at home," she says quietly, going over to the bedroom door and silently closing it so their conversation won't wake Mystique. "Would you like something to drink?"

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Hatshepsup slips quietly into the room, a smile on her face, then greets Lydia with a gentle quick hug. Only after the door to the bedroom is shut does she speak, not wanting to wake Mystique either.

Moving over to settle into one of the chairs, she shakes her head. "No thank you, Lydia. No sense in wasting anything." Smoothing her skirt a little, her eyes remain on Lydia, watching her intently.

"How are you doing?" She asks plainly, seeing no sense to beat around the bush about it

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia returns the hug affectionately and turns to sit in the other chair. "It's not a waste if you still enjoy it," she says. "Though, I've found that I have little interest in food now and only eat when it's polite, but I still enjoy the occasional drink. Something about the alcohol itself is enjoyable."

Hatshepsut's question causes her to sit and think for a while. "I'm adjusting," she says. "But it's a process. Sometimes it's exhilarating when my body is so much /more/ than what it used to be. Sometimes it's pleasurable. The feelings you get when you feed is just indescribable, and the sex is /fantastic./"

A frown touches her lips, though. "But sometimes? Sometimes it's /frightening/. There's a part of me that's like a caged beast. It's territorial, hungry, possessive. Angry. And it's always there riding in the back of my mind reminding me that people are just /food/. I have a handle on it, mostly, but sometimes it just slips out and that scares me.

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Settling her hands in her lap, Hatshepsut continues to study Lydia's face as she speaks. The smile remains in place, not forced, but truly enjoying getting to spend time with her Childre and friend.

"It is time then, for me to teach you the Trance of the Beast," she explains. "It is a power within the blood of the Valkkai to keep the beast in place, as we are not the monsters the other clans can become. None of the other clans and quell the beast as we can, but our connect to life is what allows us to do it, and it is for that reason that I changed Clans early when I could."

Her head tilts slightly, "You said that you have a 'handle on it', in what way? You deny it or ignore it?"

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia's frown turns into a scowl. "I... deny it, I guess. Suppress it, stuff it in a kind of mental box so I can continue doing whatever it is that I'm doing." She lets out a wry chuckle, "Now that I say that out loud, it doesn't sound healthy at all."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Hatshepsut chuckles softly with a nod and a sparkle to her eyes.

"That is what I did for the first ten years after my Embrace," she say with that chuckle. "Where as it works, it is very unhealthy and can lead to a snap. You, living here in this giant metal cage floating in space, do not want a snap."

Considering now she tilts her head, "Do you happen to have any brandy amongst your choices of alcohol? I think a small sip would be nice after so long, and I can explain to you how to safely place the beast inside you into a trance state and thus have full control."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia winces at the idea of snapping while she's up here. She's sure that security forces up her would be able to contain her, but what kind of damage would she do before then? Who might she hurt? God forbid she hurt any of her Brotherhood family, she wouldn't be able to live with herself. "No, I suppose not."

She nods, and gets up and walks over to the minibar. "We do. Would you like it neat, or on the rocks?" However Hatshepsut decides she makes it for her and brings her the glass.

"A trance state?" she asks doubtfully. "That doesn't sound much different than stuffing it in a box."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Hatshepsut asks for no ice, and when the glass is presented, she accepts and takes a tiny little taste before speaking.

"Do you own your body and mind? Is your soul your own or someone elses to control?" She asks then continues by explaining. "The trance for the beast is a state of existing for it, without denying it. You can still call on it, fuel it, use it's nature when needed, but when you would rather be kind, considerate and not ready to eat someone for existing, the trance is the best choice. We are not animals. In the beginning of our kind we were like animals however, they all let the beast rage and destroy, and that is where the rumors, legends and tales of vampires being monsters and 'devil kin' come from."

Another tiny sip, just enough for the flavor across her tongue. It had been ages, and a good brandy was worth a little savoring. "In the ten years before I became Valkkai, I killed a dear friend and ally by losing control of the beast. I do not /ever/ want that to happen to you Lydia, I do not wish for you to know that pain."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia takes her seat and listens, nodding along. "There are some out there who embrace it, though. Just... wholeheartedly. I've heard stories. They're blood hedonists, I guess you can say."

Hatshepsut's admission of killing a friend causes Lydia to wince. "Yeah. I don't know if I could live with myself if I did that."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Resting the glass on the arm of the chair, Hatshepsut nods sadly.

"It is vampires like those hedonists that cause issues for the rest of us," she admits. "Yes, we enjoy blood, we require it to survive, but that does not mean we should take advantage of the..." there is a pause here as she decides the correct wording. "... abundance of sustenance out there."

Sitting forward she continues now on the other topic. "The power of the trance is in your blood just as the ability to change forms is. You feed the beast some of your energy in exchange for luring it into a trance, it's as simple as that, but it will take practice."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia snorts at Hatshepsut's choice of words. "To say the least," she says.

She nods when she describes using the energy she gains from the blood to put her beast into a trance. She knows how to call on it to fuel her transformations, so she's got that at least going for her. "How do we begin? Should we move to a safer location in case I get... out of control?"

Raven Darkholme has posed:
With a glance toward the bedroom door, then her eyes returning to Lydia, Hatshepsut shakes her head. "There is no need for that. I can control you easily should something happen," she offers, then sets the glass on the small table to stand up.

Moving to stand in front of Lydia, she lays her hand on her shoulder, "Your mind must be calm, as if meditating, and you pass that on to the beast in side of you. It should last for the night, though sometimes in stressful situations, it may require a repeat."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia nods, gathering herself up into the chair, folding her legs underneath her and getting comfortable. She closes her eyes and stills herself, turning her thoughts inward. Right now her beast is at rest. She's not hungry, her lover is just on the other side of the door, and her sire and mentor is standing beside her.

Still, there are some things that tug at her. A bit of protectiveness towards Mystique. A bit of forced deference to Hatshepsut, like a wolf cub to their parent. Little things that would influence her without her even being conscious of it if it wasn't for the fact that she's turned her eyes inward.

It takes a while for Lydia to calm her thoughts, to smooth out the worry she has that she might accidentally hurt somebody if she doesn't master this technique. She also has to let the intrusive thoughts about her book go, which was still knocking around in the back of her mind. Eventually she settles into a Zen like kind of meditative state.

It's hard to keep this state going and casting out her energy to the beast. She knows what it was like to use her magic to sooth and comfort people. That's what she did when Mystique had finally been returned to them after being captured by the Chinese government. This is the same thing, except the power comes from blood, and the thing she's soothing is just another aspect of herself.

Soon, though, she feels the pangs of the beast begin to lessen, and finally, with gentle encouragement, to sleep. She stays there motionless, not even breathing, for a while, listening for any echoes of the beast. Finding none she opens her eyes. "I think I did it," she says hesitantly. "It wasn't easy to keep myself still, but I think that starting out really relaxed and in a relaxed environment helped out." She shakes her head. "I doubt I could do it otherwise."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
As Lydia is working to find her calm, to find that Zen and aim it inward, Hatshepsut remains in front of her watching, ready to act should the beast gain control. In her heart she knew full well that Lydia would be able to do it, it might take time and a lot of practice, but she knew the woman could do it.

When Lydia proclaims that she thinks she did it, the Egyptian reaches out to caress her hand over Lydia's cheek and nods once. "Indeed you did it," she offers with a proud smile. "Right now it is likely best to do it in a calm, comfortable place, in time you should be able to do it at the drop of a hat."

Moving back over to sit down, she collects the glass but her eyes remain in Lydia. "What has lead to the issues with the beast that you were having, above and beyond the usual?"

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia nods in agreement. She did it once, she can do it again, but it'll take time and practice to be able to do it in an environment more busy than this one. "This will be really helpful for when I can prepare myself for ... those situations to come up."

Lydia slumps in her chair as she answers Hatshepsut's last question. "The big ones right now is that Mystique's former lover literally appeared out of nowhere, and it's making me unreasonably jealous." Though, as she brings up the subject she tenses, ready to battle those feelings that the beast bring out in her, but there's nothing. Just calm.

"Whenever we talk about him I just want to grab onto Raven and put myself between him and her and just /hiss/ at him, 'mine!'" She shakes her head in wonder, being able to talk about it without having to struggle with those feelings. "She still loves him, and I can tell she wants to be with him, but she's so devoted to me that it feels like she's hurting herself just to appease it."

She takes in a breath, to let it out in a sigh. "The other one is that I have to work with another vampire." She shakes her head sadly, "Poor thing. She's a newborn like me, turned as a teenager. Nobody should be taken that young. She's the product of a curse, though, so she doesn't have anybody to show her the ropes. Nobody knows what rules apply to her. She's completely flying blind."

"Whenever I'm around here, there's this kind of defensive territorialness like I /owned/ the places we frequent and and she's intruding on them." She shakes her head. "She feels the same so if we're not paying attention we'll just goad each other on. We managed to talk some things out, so hopefully it'll get easier from there."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Listening as Lydia explains, Hatshepsut takes another tiny taste of the brandy, nursing it for the savored flavor more than anything else.

"What are your true feelings regarding this former lover, Lydia? Now that you can think without the beast, what do you feel about him? Do you want Raven all to yourself, is that what you /truly/ feel? If that is the case, what are the options left to Mystique? Would it not hurt you if that is what you feel and she is with him to appease herself?"

Shifting in the seat so she is turned more toward Lydia, she crosses one leg over the other. "You would willing sacrifice for her, she would willing sacrifice for you, but the root of the issue... love. Can you love more than one person at the same time. I am no expert, but I have lived a very long time, if you share what your true feelings are with me, perhaps I can assist you?"

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia's eyebrows furrow into a scowl. She gets up to go to her desk to take her Manhattan and sips at it, letting the drink warm her tongue. "I don't know," she admits. "He arrived when I first fed on somebody human and I never had a chance to disentangle my feelings from that of the beast."

She turns and walks back to her chair and settles herself down in it. "Now? I don't know. I'm conflicted. I know she loves me and wouldn't do anything to hurt me, but I get the sense that she feels the same for him, and by making her choose hurts her greatly."

"So on the one hand, I want her to be happy but on the other... I feel, I don't know," she rambles. "What if I'm not good enough for her? He was there first, what if she decides that she'd rather be with him? I know she doesn't think of it as a competition, but what does he think? I hardly know anything about him, and what I do know... I don't really like."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Keeping her eyes on Lydia as the mutants moves to collect her drink, listening intently as she speaks, Hatshepsut recognizes in the woman all the aspects that she presents. From concern, to fear, to love, to anger, she can see it all and hear it in her voice.

"I believe I see at least part of the trouble here," she comments, resting the glass back on the arm of the chair while holding it. "You are a monogamous thinker, that one person loves one person. This is perfectly acceptable, there is nothing wrong with this thinking at all, and the large majority of people out there would agree with you whole heartedly."

Another tiny sip and she moves on, "This thinking however, is also what leads to your fears of Raven leaving you, and makes you question if you are 'good enough'. I can attempt to explain, but it still falls to your heart and thinking to find the solutions, because to Raven and those like her, it is not a competition at all. You are no less or more important that the former lover, if in fact her love is equal as you have said she expressed."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Lydia stares into the amber liquid in her glass, her finger fidgeting with it. "I don't know," she repeats, voice filled with doubt. "Maybe I just don't know him well enough. Maybe if I can see what she sees in him it'll be easier to... to share." This all just seems so wrong, but seeing how this hurts her lover... that's just as wrong to her.

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Reaching over to lay her hand gently on Lydia's arm, Hatshepsut offers a soft, understanding smile.

"What is the most important thing about your and Raven's relationship? What is the one thing that makes it wonderful and magical to you?" she asks, caressing her arm lightly. "Do you think those things will disappear or end? Yes, I think getting to know this man is a very good idea, but I also believe that if you truly cannot accept the idea of Raven with him and you, you need to stay true to yourself."

She sighs softly, a saddened expression on her face as she says, "It may mean that you lose her for your own sanity, but you deserve to be comfortable and happy as much as Raven does, so do not compromise."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
"One of us will have to," Lydia says, giving her mentor a wan smile. "Compromise, that is. Why should my comfort be more important than hers? Why should her comfort be more important than mine? We /both/ deserve to be comfortable and happy, dammit." Ruby tears start to well in her eyes. "This is unfair to both of us and it frustrates me."

She looks down back into her glass, as a tear of blood drops into it. "I don't think I can choose a single thing that's most important about our relationship. Trust is important, respect too." She's silent for a moment as something she said reverberates within her.

"I'm not trusting her to be able to stay with me while she's with him," she realizes with a scowl. Lifting her face she looks over at Hatshepsut, "That's the heart of the matter, isn't it? Now that I see that I... I... have to trust her.

Raven Darkholme has posed:
The smile that spreads across Hatshepsut's face is big and broad. She reaches up to tap the end of her own nose, then sits back with her glass to sniff at the brandy.

"That happened a lot quicker than I thought it would," she comments idly, then takes another tiny sip. "I thought it would be at least a few days before the logic and reality slapped you in the head."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
"I have to think about this," Lydia says solemnly. "Now that I can." She takes a sip of her Manhattan, "It's a lot, and I have a lot of feelings that I have to sort through." She drums her fingers on the arm of the chair as she thinks. "I can't keep the beast asleep forever, though. Sooner or later when it wakes up the jealousy and possessiveness is going to start again."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Hatshepsut cocks her head slightly, "Who says you can't keep it tranced forever? That is the point of the magic created by our Clan Lydia, a safe way to be yourself without fear of the beast. Did I some how fail to express that? There are a great many magics inherent to our blood, each clan having things that other clans do not."

She takes the last sip of her brandy before setting the glass down. "Valkkai means life. All life is sacred and valuable, including your own, and you get to live your life as you wish to, not controlled by the monstrous nature of the vampire."

Standing up she steps over and leans to place a gentle kiss on Lydia's forehead. "You are my shining star, my Childre and my friend. I will not let what has happened changed who you are, or the life you want to have."

Lydia Dietrich has posed:
Looks wide eyed at the prospect of keeping the beast asleep forever. "That almost feels like cheating," Lydia says with a chuckle. "How am I going to brood if I don't have anything to brood over?"

She stands up and gives her mentor as sire a hug. "Thanks for coming over, and showing me this. It's really helped me see things clearly."

Raven Darkholme has posed:
Hatshepsut laughs softly, patting Lydia on the arm as she says, "Then only cheat from time to time, but remember to live your life and mater the ability to do so."

Walking over to the door she lets it slide open but pauses to add, "You are doing well Lydia, remember you can call me any time and I will aid you if I can. I will check in on you in a few weeks, see once again how you are doing."