8707/Needing to Get Right Again

Needing to Get Right Again
Date of Scene:	17 November 2021
Location:	Breakstone Lake
Synopsis:	Kurt, still wallowing in his feelings over learning who his mother is, begins to find a way to climb out of the hole thanks to his daughter from another reality.
Cast of Characters:	Kurt Wagner, Talia Wagner

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Kurt Wagner has posed:
Things just haven't been the same since Kurt learned the truth about who his mother was. Rather, who his mother is. Mystique. The assassin. The member of the Brotherhood.

The one who discarded him when he was but a baby. Regardless of the reasons, in spite of the life and death situation there was, he grew up not knowing who his mother or father were. Now, one half of that equation has been answered. It's left him dreading the rest of it. It's left him wondering what he's supposed to do now, knowing many of the things she's done.

Has she really turned over a new leaf? It sounded like she was still willing to kill, to be judge, jury, and executioner, perhaps just with a stricter code than before. Does it matter? Does it change things?

The blue elf broods out by the lake, perched on a railing of the boathouse in a way he and few others can manage to make look natural, his hands clasped with fingers against his mouth, his tail held behind him to keep his balance.

Talia Wagner has posed:
    TJ hasn't actually been super looking forward to this conversation, but she figures she is the only one who can really relate to the whole thing. Sure she knew who grams was when she got to this timeline. Sure she kept it a secret. Which might be awkward as all hell too. Still. She should probably do what she can to help Kurt.

    Catching a teleport down from the Asteroid she pops into the manor to look into where Kurt might be before heading the boathouse. Her hands shoved in her leather jacket as she approaches him as he perches there brooding.

    "Hey Not-Dad, mind some company?"

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Nobody really enjoys the awkward moments, the difficult conversations. Life is easier when there is no conflict, when you can just smile at everything because you don't have a care in the world. That is not where Kurt's at right now. He hasn't been there for weeks, hasn't been able to just smile at everything and keep the wounds covered up. He's tried to keep to his routines, but his mood has been a struggle to keep upbeat.

There has been more time spent keeping to himself outside classes and training, and others have surely noticed. When TJ is the one to come check on him this time, he grimaces briefly but keeps his gaze focused on the water of the lake ahead of them. "Talia," he offers, his tone worked at to keep neutral. "Did she send you? Clarice gave me her number, but I have not called her."

Talia Wagner has posed:
"Nope, she didn't ask me to come talk to you or order me too. Not that I am prone to following orders I don't agree with so that tracks." she finishes closing the distance and then hops up to balance on the railing and wanders a bit down from you and then turns and wanders back while talking.

    "I figured I was probably one of the only people who really understands the full picture though of what Raven being your mother and my grandmother is like. Lets just say between that and Erik as my grandfather on Wanda's side it made for really tense family gatherings." she pauses and then adds. "Like nonexistent ones... there is a reason you and Wanda back home raised me with very little contact with my grandparents."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner lowers his hands to rest the forearms across his knees. The balancing act is a good reminder of his skill as an acrobat, nimble and graceful, able to hold a difficult position like it was natural to him. It may as well be.

"Ach..I should apologize. That was unfair of me to ask, especially right away. I have not felt like meinself lately," he tries to explain, excuse or not. "There is a part of me that wishes I did not know the truth, if I am being honest. There is a larger part of me that does not know what to do."

Solid yellow eyes shift in her direction as his chest rises and falls in a deeper breath. "I cannot imagine," he says, of the situation she faced in her world. Or, maybe he can. Maybe that's part of the problem.

Talia Wagner has posed:
    "Sorry I couldn't tell you when I got here. It is usually best to not just info dump about events that haven't happened. Things like that can really butterfly effect a timeline in horrible ways..." which probably means she is sitting on archives or horrible disasterous bullshit.

    "Well I mean, you're still you. Nothing fundemental about you has actually changed with this knowledge. A bit of mystery about where you are from has been clarified but it isn't like being Raven's kid preordains anything about you Kurt." she crouches down facing where he is still watching the the lake. Watching him instead.

    "If it is any consolation this Raven seems to be genuine about trying to be a better person and help mutant kind without resorting to mass violence or starting wars?"

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner waves a hand. "You could have told me or not, und things would have gone the way they would. You had good reasons for not simply telling everything as it was in the world you knew. You were in a difficult situation as well." These are some things they have discussed before he knew what he does now, and it was at those times that he tried to be the supportive one. He was not the Kurt she knew, exactly, but he was still Kurt. They were of a much more similar age here, but that is the thing about time travel. It might not all line up.

"She is still a killer, Talia. That is the part I am struggling with, knowing this. She may be attempting to change, but she could not vow that she would no longer kill, only that she would take better care to be certain it is justified first. But who gives her the right to decide that? What gives any of us that right? I was taught that to kill, it should only be a last option once all others have been exhausted, und even then you should find ways to avoid it."

As for avoiding things, right now he is avoiding looking at her. She can see the conflict in his expression, hear it in his words. "I know the things she has done, und mein struggle is in living with that. I was also taught to forgive, but..."

Talia Wagner has posed:
    "Oh I know Kurt. She has killed a lot of people." she turns and plops down on the railing and stares at the lake. There is a very deep breath and a slow sigh.

    "You are right as well, it should be the last option once others are exhausted and if possible you should find another one." she frowns. "I've killed a lot of people.. or former people.. aliens..." her tail curls around the railing as she sits on it. "I was literally flung from one timeline to the other .. like dominos trying to prevent the multiverse from collapsing and imploding and sometimes it involved killing people who were supposed to be dead but something glitched.. or had been turned into vampires.. or... you get the idea the list goes on and on." a light shrug "It was awful but I did it... and I am hoping people don't hate me for it."

    "As for Raven... she had more options, it sometimes was the only one, and sometimes it was just the quickest or easiest one. She is no saint but she was doing it to try to save an oppressed people from that oppression as best she thought she could. She genuinely believed she was fighting exinction or subjugation.... and frankly she wasn't and isn't wrong. There are a lot of timelines where the Sentinels and mankind crush mutants wholesale... uh.. some that Raven causes with unintended consequences but this timeline is past that rubicon thanks to Rachel Summers and your own time travelers..."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner closes his eyes, soon left to rub at his temples slowly. "You..surely had reasons, for your survival, ja? For the protection of others? I know it is complex, but what Mystique has done, at times, has been equal to terrorism. That is the antithesis of what I strive to be."

Hopping off the railing, he paces as his tail moves in a sign of agitation. He is restless. One might think he has not slept easily, and continues not to. "I know there are paths that would lead to..much worse outcomes, but to take someone's life, und I do nicht mean a monster, a vampire, a zombie, but another person? Another mutant? That is nicht something you can do over und change your mind about once it is done. To do it simply because you can? Even a man like Logan has a code of honor that he follows, und he works to control his own instincts und urges in battle in order to do the right thing."

He gestures toward her with a hand. "If I..if the me you know raised you the way I would have raised you, I think you know what I am saying. I cannot imagine a world where I would see a thing like this that differently. If there is, I do nicht wish to know of it."

Talia Wagner has posed:
    "It wasn't my survival I was handling. It was literally the entire timeline and trying to slow down the collapse into other timelines. So... I guess huh what did Clarice and I figure it. Like ..three quintillion souls?" she just stares at the water.

    "Unless we were being lied to and used as a tool by some evil force... we had to take some of what the Tallus was telling us on faith really."

    She pivots around to watch Kurt pace, putting her back to the lake now. "I mean. Logan has killed a hell of a lot of people. I mean, so many people. Yes he follows a code and does it with purpose but...." she shrugs again. "So has X-23 and a slew of others living here Kurt."

    The turn and hand gesture makes her frown and then nod. "I get what you are saying. My dad still had his faith back home and he wouldn't accept anything but killing as a final resort after all options had been exhausted and then he would wrack himself with guilt. Grandma back home also never genuinely tried to change and adopt a new path and code. I'm not saying trust Raven but ... I don't think she is pulling a long con."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
"That..is a lot of souls, Talia," Kurt says, quietly. "I do nicht know if you were lied to or if you truly had to do whatever you did to save multiple realities, but I believe you would try to do the right thing every time." He can't see it any other way.

The reminder about Logan, X-23, and whoever else - he could figure it out if he wanted to - he stops and sighs, his tail visibly drooping. "I do nicht have a good answer to give you about that," he confesses with a slow shake of his head, lips tugging into a frown. "I just..trust them to know when it is necessary, I guess. Und it keeps me from having to make such a decision, sometimes. I must sound like a hypocrite to you, making excuses for them while holding mein own mother to a different standard. But she has killed intentionally. She has done things that are wrong, even if she believed they were for the right reasons. You say even in the world you are from, she did nicht change. You know her here? How well?"

Talia Wagner has posed:
    "We .. didn't take every assignment. When we bucked them the Weapon-X squad showed up and that was a mess. I get the feeling they handled timelines we would have strong moral objections to handling. Which didn't really build up total trust. So I hope we weren't lied to."

    "I'm not saying trust Raven blindly. I am saying out of all the Ravens I have met, I think this one is really trying. She has found love. Purpose. She is struggling to not act on old instincts and reform the Brotherhood to help mutants not just be terrorists. Still though she is absolutely willing to kill bad people to protect innocent mutants. But so are some of our friends here at the mansion." a shrug.

    "I genuinely can't tell you what to do... you don't need to accept her at all honestly. You do need to realize though that this doesn't change who you are or what you have accomplished... and stop brooding so much about it dad... Kurt.. sorry."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner grimaces. His imagination could lead him to come up with some scenarios, without asking, that could have left Talia and Clarice and their group unwilling to do certain things. If the version of him that she knew taught her properly..yes, he could think of situations indeed. That topic, he leaves alone with a simple nod.

"I pray daily for the wisdom to do the right thing. Whatever she has done..she is still meine mutter, und she is the only one I truly have. I should be filled with joy to know she exists, but I have been filled with dread. I have worried about so many things. I have wallowed in negative thoughts," he explains, gesturing with a hand out, palm up. "To protect others..I know I would find an alternative. I would see someone stopped, captured, put to trial for crimes committed, but that is nicht always going to happen. Others have nicht given us the same courtesy, but I have never thought of repaying them in kind."

He chuckles, somewhat under his breath, at her apology. "Nein. You know me as your father, und you know yourself as mein daughter, yet here we are more like brother und sister in age. I would still like to be the man you know me as, to live up to your expectations of me."

Talia Wagner has posed:
    Talia grins flashing very white teeth, including sharper than normal canines. "Honestly I slip up because you remind me of my dad ... just.. uh yeah sibling age instead of old and grizzled like he was. He led the team back home with Professor W... uh Logan was the Professor at the school. Complicated story. Scott was off being crazy over the death of Aunt Jean." a slow shake of her head.

    "Still you're right. You only have Raven. You should talk to her. Carefully. Don't be overly trusting. Don't accept her actions as justified but... it is probably worth trying to know her better or understand her regardless right?"

    She has zero similar things to say about her grandfather is absolutely is not bringing that mess up.

Kurt Wagner has posed:
Kurt Wagner looks over in time to catch the grin. "I should. After all, I am..well, another version of me is. Und Wolverine was your professor? Und they..?" He can only shake his head. He did not pry too much into these things before, but now that he's heard about it he expresses, "Your world sounds very different from this one. I am nicht sure I could get used to that."

He approaches, and a hand extends toward her before hesitating, like he wants to offer her some sort of consoling, some kind of support, but he isn't sure how to do it. "Perhaps I will have to, soon. I have faced difficult things before, just none quite like this. It is so much more personal, und I can feel it so deeply inside."

Talia Wagner has posed:
    TJ looks down at the hand and then slips off the railing landing on her feet as stable as an acrobat. She had a very good teacher after all. "Best confront it."

    Then she steps in to hug Kurt and means it, comforting gesture returned. "Just remember who you are and stay true to yourself and you won't let yourself go astray."

Kurt Wagner has posed:
"Sooner or later, ja, I must," Kurt remarks. Preferably sooner. He is no fun like this, and he doesn't like himself this way either.

The embrace comes right after, and while he is rigid about it at first, finding it awkward in a way, almost like he has a near-twin, she can tell there is some tension in his shoulders that wants to give way. "Nobody could mistake you for being related to anyone else. We have the same hands, after all," he remarks, just something different to bring up. "You should be thankful the me you know sounds like he was more sure of himself."

Talia Wagner has posed:
    TJ gives a tighter squish of a hug then leans back and looks him right in the eye. Her tail comes into view and she uses the point to bop him in the center of his forehead while she has him. "You need to relax. I suggest yoga or meditation not just prayers." she is lightly teasing though.

    Then she releases him from the hug and steps back. "It's true... very distinctive appearance is in our genes." not elaborating, letting it be assumed she means Mystique probably.

Kurt Wagner has posed:
She..beats him to it with the tail. His was starting to move toward her as well. Of all the things...!

Kurt's eyes squint at the contact, but after the close hug is let go of he steps back and considers her. "Ahh, there is nicht a yoga position I would have trouble with. But, I will need to focus on a thing or two that I enjoy, und that should help."

Looking her over briefly, he tries to make light of things at his own expense. "You really did turn out beautiful, you know. It is fortunate you got your good looks from your mother, und your complexion mostly from your father."

Talia Wagner has posed:
    TJ laughs. "Not use to getting you first." she grins a crooked be-fanged sort of grin at her victory. "I could get use to this." she notes warningly. "But yes you should try to focus on things you enjoy and that should indeed help."

    At the compliment she twirls a bit showing off both her balance nad her form. "Why thank you. Though it is a bit of a self complimenting compliment seeing you did half this." amusement as she comes to a stop. "I'm going to head up to the mansion and check on some folks before I head out. If you want to talk or need me.. you just have to comms me ok?"

Kurt Wagner has posed:
"That was your free one," Kurt vows with a shake of the head. "So do nicht get overconfident. I am sure mein other self taught you everything you know, but nicht everything he knew."

It feels..better to be able to make a joke, or crack a smile, or feel like he could laugh at something. That empty pit inside is beginning to fill up with something again. "I could get used to, well, nicht exactly a daughter, but perhaps a sort of sister. I do nicht know how that would make you feel, but we can talk more about that another time."

Nodding toward the lake, he adds, "I think I will watch the sun set, then come in for something to eat, und perhaps a movie afterward. We will speak again soon, Talia. I promise."