9043/The Fruitcake Apocalypse

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The Fruitcake Apocalypse
Date of Scene: 12 December 2021
Location: Morningside Heights
Synopsis: An unlikely gang of heroes and vigilantes save Columbia University from a monstrous fruitcake... er... slime monster.
Cast of Characters: Raphael, Lucas Trent, Dane Whitman, Atrid




Raphael has posed:
"This is Vernon Fenwick with the Channel Six Newsroom reporting a developing story at Columbia University. It appears that an experiment in one of their science labs has gone awry and a large... is this right? ...A large slime mold is slowly consuming one of the campus labs and a college apartment building nearby. More on this as it develops."

Indeed there is an incident! A slime mold has gotten free from one of the biolabs, consuming the laboratory before bursting out of the window and spilling down onto a greenhouse between it and an apartment building across the street. It quivers violently, lashing out with hungry pseudopods at anyone who gets close. People are evacuating, but there are civilians trapped inside the apartment... not to mention anyone still in the lab, which is almost half-consumed with the giant amber slime creature, little blobs of plant and fruit from the greenhouse floating inside it...

...like the world's most unruly feral fruitcake.


The Nightwatcher, the armored alter-ego of the mutant turtle Raphael, is one of the first on the scene, standing on a rooftop across from the apartment and staring in slackjawed disbelief.

"Mikey is never going to believe this..." he mutters to himself.

Lucas Trent has posed:
Lucas Trent is a rooftop dweller himself. He'd caught the broadcast over the police band radio, having been in the midst of separating an arms smuggler from several of his vertebrae. To be fair, the vertebrae had been broken already, it wasn't like he was using them.

He approaches in his full Midnighter gear, cowl pulled down. His coat clinks a little bit as he walks, a result of making around a dozen makeshift Molotov cocktails before heading down to investigate. Giant grown monstrosities usually burn real good, in his experience. He sees the Nightwatcher standing to stare and he takes off across the roof in a full sprint, "Just gonna watch, pal?" he asks as he runs by and into a superhuman leap, crashing through one of the windows across the way and going to try and get at some of those civilians.

Dane Whitman has posed:
Look! Up in the sky!

It's a bird!

It's a plane!

It's...Fluttershy?!

Nope, none of the above. A knight in shining armor and crimon emblazoned black tabard is astride a winged steed, soaring high above through the atmosphere. This man has been unseen for quite some time, but a few might yet still recognize the valiant Black Knight!

The scene below is nary impossible to miss. A slimey mass exploding from a building threatening all who get close. This state of affairs is an occasion for brave deeds, and so the man leans close to the ear of his horse, and whispers,"Look, girl. Let us go and do what we can..."

Then, he rises in his saddle and lets loose a raucous battle cry as a golden shaft of light extends from a raised fist! The pegasus banks sharply, descending swiftly to the sidewalk across from the grotesque....fruitcake!

Atrid has posed:
Atrid Torsen comes sliding passed on the street below left hand outstretched creating a sheet of ice that he skates on for lack of a better word. Wearing a Red and bluish white spandex costume an X on his left pec red and white hair braided down his back looking like a peppermint stick. "Outta tha way outta the Way!!" He shouts right hand bursting into flames.

Raphael has posed:
The Nightwatcher shakes his head. "Right, right." After all, he's secretly a mutant turtle under all that armor, what room does he have to talk about giant mutants? This one doesn't seem like it's liable to be friendly, however... or sapient.

Raph leaps off the building, using one of his manriki-gusari as a grappling chain to swing around the edge and crash through one of the windows of the building. The lights on his helmet kick on as he whips the chain back into his hand, scanning around and grabbing a guy glued to his monitor, leaping out and carrying him to safety as he whines about almost being through the queue in Final Fantasy.

"More time to play when you're not dead," Raph growls, snapping around to look at the ooze. Well, that skateboard kid appears to have fire... that might work. He flips out his ball and chain to splatter a pseudopod as he vaults back up the wall to look for more people to rescue.

Lucas Trent has posed:
Lucas Trent shatters out another window, frame and all, tossing it to crash down below, "Tell the god damn firefighters to put a ladder here, I'm clearing a path through the building..." he says. Midnighter is casually punching through walls and ripping out plaster, more determined to save lives then property. He's usually more of an avenger than a protector, but he can make exceptions.

Why should there be firefighters? Well, for one, Midnighter called them through his helmet's LED display. And for two, he's probably going to burn this sucker down and everything in it once the humans are cleared. He didn't really expect his martial arts to do much against the giant goo baby.

Dane Whitman has posed:
When the pegasus descends low enough, the knight in shining armor will leap from the saddle to roll through the air in a somersault!

This not merely for showmanship, and the point will be apparent when he lands in a combat roll. Tumbling deliberately head over heels twice, he comes eventually to his feet with photonic saber brandished as he yells to a pair of bystanders transfixed at the lovecraftian monstrosity,"You two, get behind me! Now!"

The sight of a knight with a jedi's implement is perhaps a bit much after being menaced by flapping tendrils exploding from the building they just happened to be walking by, so the knight taps his wristwatch proving it to be something more as a kite shaped field of gold extends forthwith...and then another tap and it becomes a dome of hard light against the animate slime surrounding he and his pair of panic stricken charges!

Atrid has posed:
Atrid Torsen slides right up to the mold. Tossing out a jet of flames at one side and they burn a blue color the other hand freezing a chunk of the slime. "Ya know what dey say you ooze you lose!" He calls out with a laugh as he ushers abl college student out. "Quickly people don't you see the giant slime consuming every thing?"

    He shakes his head reigniting his hand and cascading flames at the slime.

Raphael has posed:
Raphael skims across window ledges with grace that belies his obvious armored bulk, scanning for people with the light provided by his head-mounted lights, one hand helping maintain his grip on ledges, bricks, and iron railings, the other swinging one of his manriki-gusari, whipping the iron head of the chain at the slime when it gets too close.

"I'm never gonna watch another Christmas special," he gripes, flipping back to the rooftop and throwing a handful of flares at the slime, which bubble and fizz in its bulk. Not much, but at least he can see there's some X-kid and... Darth Vader? Whatever. He tries to keep on task, leaping out and sliding down a light pole as he vaults towards the lab to try and get people out... though hopefully they had a bit more presence of mind to flee. Still, gotta be sure.

Lucas Trent has posed:
Lucas Trent may be a little unceremonious as he reaches some lower floors, literally tossing a few of the innocent bystanders out through their windows and onto the streets below. A few bones broken and some contusions, nothing that bad as far as Midnighter's concerned.

"That's what you get for draggin' ass," he shouts out at one in particular.

Satisfied that he's done what he can, he reaches in and pulls out his first Molotov, finding a squamous extrusion of mold in a hallway as he ignites it with a Zippo, "This is the part where you burn to death, you lab-grown fuckface." he shouts as he tosses a flaming explosive.

Dane Whitman has posed:
The Darth Vader cosplayer has way cooler toys than that poser, gosh darnit...

The pseudopods slap and slide over the boundary imposed by the hard light of his shield for several painstaking moments as the Knight's charges cower behind him. Then, he snaps the shield back to its kite shaped form and slashes high overhead in a vicious arc all 'round!

Slimey filth rains in his wake as acrid ozone fills the air and he turns to the two behind him to yell,"Get thee gone, whilst the thing recovers!"

The pegasus circles high overhead, looking down at its master as he whips the strange blade of his weapon at the slimey projections, marching boldly before the windows to take stock of his foe, searching for a weakness from a vantage where its avenues of attack are most predictable...

Atrid has posed:
Atrid Torsen shakes his head. "Hitting it is just gonna piss it off. We need more fire, possible ice!" He shouts kicking up his flames a few degrees which in Atrids case means about a hundred. His ice freezing as much of it as he can reach. "Fuck someone get these people outta here!" He shouts watching the slime freeze and some of it seeming to melt away.

Raphael has posed:
"It's the Big Apple," Raph yells, "nobody runs away from nothin'!" Perhaps not true, but he's a cynical teenager. He sees that the lab, at least, appears to be in mostly evacuated. Never one for social graces, he turns back to the guys on the ground.

"Spandex, keep burning this thing! Kylo Ren, use the Force or something, or like, have Twilight Sparkle herd people away." Such indignities. "I'ma see if I can get up to the lab this came from and burn out the base of it."

He wrenches open a door and heads in, leaving the question hanging - who said the short armored stranger could give orders?

Lucas Trent has posed:
Lucas Trent throws a finger in Raphael's general direction, "Suck me, Admiral Ackbar! I don't wear any god damn spandex," he shouts.

He's going to various strategic spots at the mold monster, tossing flaming bottles of gasoline and occasionally throwing in a few blows, notably just ripping off someone's door and beating on the monstrosity until the door sticks, jutting out of the thing at an odd angle.

"I need a god damn flamethrower."

Dane Whitman has posed:
The Black Knight literally has no idea what the tin can with headlights just said. He spent the last freaking year fighting snake people and frogmen. There wasn't time in his life for TV even if such had been available!

The knight glances up to the kid on the ice slide and yells,"Hey, you up there! Try concentrating your blasts on one spot, first freeze it then burn it! That may traumatize it!"

Method plus hasty explanation given, the big man in armor finds himself snatched up by a pseupod sneakily snatching him up by an ankle to dankle over a makeshift mouth like a gross garbage disposal as the front of the wall explodes forth under the weight of its forward surging mass....ew...

Atrid has posed:
Atrid Torsen growls shouting up to Raph. "Names CryoPyre! Not Spandex!" He calls looking to the knight. "Alright Monty Python, thanks for the advice." He quips it appears the hotter the flames and the longer he keeps them up the angrier he gets. "Eat Icey hot! I hope it gives you mager heartburn Pal!!!" He growls turning those flames against the iced over area of the slime.

Raphael has posed:
Maybe Raph wanted to make CryoPyre mad? So he'd burn better. That's probably putting a bit more forward thinking on the Ninja Turtle than he's capable of. Cut off from the banter, Raph races up the lab building, making sure there's nobody still nearby. It takes him a minute or two to find what he's looking for - tanks of compressed gas used for bunsen burners and other lab firemaking.

He heads up to the source of the slime, twisting the cannisters on and tossing them into the gelatinous amber mass.

He turns the speakers in his helmet to his mask to maximum. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" He has /one/ explosive on him that isn't a smoke bomb, and he throws it in the room along with a handful of kunai to pierce the gas cannisters.

Then he books like he's never booked before.

Lucas Trent has posed:
Lucas Trent throws his last molotov and leaps out of the building from the seventh floor. He tumbles end over end and lands on the hood of a car flat on his back with a loud crash, denting it in and reducing the engine underneath him to a bit of scrap.

"Parking in this city always was a bitch," he mutters, rolling off and shaking some of the broken glass out of his longcoat, seemingly none the worse for wear as he sees the knight getting snatched up by that psuedopod. Thinking fast, he grabs a shard of windshield about the size of a manhole cover and whips it like a frisbee, slinging it sidearm to try to slice those tentacles to get the knight freed.

Dane Whitman has posed:
When the explosion goes off, the dangling knight is blown clear as the thing loses its grip upon glass wrought severance!

Tumbling with limbs akimbo, he snaps off his blade in an act of dimming self awareness, his consciousness fading...

Then he skids and bounces, grumbling coarsely as he shakily rises to his feet,"This...is why I quit...going to rock concerts..."

Then the faithful steed Strider lights nearby, hooves clopping in mild rhythm as she places her muzzle to his cheek bringing a smile as he pats the horse appreciatively.

Atrid has posed:
Atrid Torsen blinks and turns his ice to the floor and rapidly starts to slide and skate off. "Oh shiiiiitttttt!!!" He shouts tumbling from the force. "God....this....sucks!"

Raphael has posed:
The building shudders as the gas roils and explodes inside the slime, the slime's internal structure weaker than the walls of the building it was trying to eat. It explodes outward in a mess of goo, rubble, and fruit from the greenhouse, smoking and twitching - still a lot to cleanup, and still dangerous enough for now, but the main bulk is scorched and exploded on one end, and burning on the other from the molotovs and CryoPyre and Dane's work in the middle.

The Nightwatcher stumbles out the door, armor blackened and smoking, one light busted and the other swinging erratically back and forth.

"I think I used too much," he says in a staticky voice through his shorting-out loudspeaker.

Lucas Trent has posed:
Lucas Trent reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cigar, lighting it with the same zippo he used to ignite the molotovs, "No such thing as too much, kid. Bigger boom gets the job done, every time," he says.

"Personally, I think I'm done here. I ain't gonna pick up a mop and clean up the slime this thing has left behind. Nothin' against sanitation guys, it just ain't my bag."

Dane Whitman has posed:
The tall knight drags himself onto the back of his steed, surveying the destruction as he mutters,"I should probably check in. They may wonder what gives..."

The mounted knight trots forth a few paces, giving the armored rider a more thorough view of what the chance team hath wrought. With a snap of the reins then, the horse takes flight with a beat of its powerful wings! Rising higher and higher, then circling about the column of smoke...

Atrid has posed:
Atrid Torsen gets up and dusts himself off and looks around a bit. "Yea I ain't sticking around for clean up duty I gotta jet." He says speeding off. "I don't really care for first responders." And with that he moves away.

Raphael has posed:
There's more than enough slime remaining to keep New York's Finest on duty for hours, but the immediate threat seems to be over. The Nightwatcher hangs around for a little bit, smashing larger chunks of slime, but vanishes into the shadows when the news media start clamoring for a story, taking a small sample of slime home as a Christmas present for Donatello to examine. All things considered this is a bit more showy than he wanted to make himself, but sometimes you have to take risks to do the right thing.

The slimey menace is no more, but the people of Columbia University are definitely put off of fruitcake this Christmas.