9068/The Dreaded Phonecall.

The Dreaded Phonecall.
Date of Scene:	13 December 2021
Location:	Sara and Cael's apartment
Synopsis:	Sara may have confided just a little in Jon, but the reality was the call made was about Cael. Sara needed to make sure what she should be doing, and he helped.
Cast of Characters:	Sara Pezzini, Jonathan Sims

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Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara hates video calls, she hates phone calls as well, but this was most definitely required. There was s no escaping the fact that yes, at this moment in time, she needed to call Jon and tell him this now, not later. So the call is sent.

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon looks groggy when he answers the call, out on a balcony maybe with the lights of a city stretching up to the slopes of a volcano behind him. It's night, the sky is dark and the stars are out. Wherever he is, it's beautiful, and it's not New York.

    "Pezzini?" There's concern in his tone. "What is it? Is Becker okay?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
There isn't much light on Sara's face, which makes it harder to see her facial expressions or that she might have been crying. It like she's in some sort of fuzzy blanket tent, the edges of the camera picking up the blue blanket she holding up over her head to conceal the light from the room. Behind her against the wall is a large cushion with a leaf pattern on it that she is leaned against.

"The answer to that question is no," she states, but it's a whisper. "I heard her half of the call to you earlier, then she, Alis and I were talking..."

A sigh escapes and for a moment she holds the camera away from her face, she really hated video calls, but she puts it back. "Jon, I think she's suicidal. The talk... not good, I didn't know what the hell I was doing..." she stops there then likes a switch flipping, has her shit together. "Alis and I are keeping an eye on her, no weapons in her reach, and Alis is monitoring her medications. We're going to Hawaii tomorrow... I need you to tell me how to help her through this."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon hesitates for a long moment, chewing on his lip. His voice is carefully controlled, neutral tone, when he responds. "What makes you think she's suicidal? What did she say, exactly?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
How Sara manages to keep the camera on her face without actually looking at it... pure skill, and avoidance.

"Christ," she mutters. "I don't feel right telling you what she talked about, but at the same time I know I have to." Her eyes remain focused on something outside the camera's range, the blanket most likely.

"The peace, she talked about the peace the angel caused," she finally whispers. "And about wanting that peace, because... she was ready to just die. It was the angel, we know that, but she said what scares her is what she might... and it's how she said it, what she implied, that wanting that peace... like she wants to die even still."

Finally, she looks back at the camera. "That's when I fucked up... I had to have fucked up... cause after I called her out, sort of, maybe... said that she might try to kill herself... I told her death isn't peaceful. Alis told her it isn't peaceful.... and she shut us both down and out and went to bed."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon sighs and rubs at his face. It's a demonstration of how tired he is; normally he wouldn't do any such thing. "No, that was /precisely/ the wrong thing to say. And a lot of people don't have any clue how to talk to someone who's suicidal or self-harming. People who haven't been in that place... you don't understand why anyone would /want/ to die. You think that scaring someone will make it stop, but often that just makes them feel worse. If dying is so bad, then why do they want to?"

    He frowns for a moment. "I'd like to speak to her, if I can, but first... I know it's hard to watch someone go through this sort of thing. I've... lost a couple of patients to suicide, myself. It's important to remember that /all/ emotional responses are valid, whether or not we understand them. Becker's feelings right now? They make entirely perfect sense. She went through something /horrific/, and she's struggling to make sense of what she felt. What she needs is someone to tell her it's okay to be struggling, it's okay that she hurts. She's in crisis right now, as bad as if she were still bleeding from those wounds the angel gave her."

    He tilts his head. "So... why don't you tell me what /you're/ feeling right now, first off?" He smiles. "Any response is valid. It's actions that should be judged, not emotions."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
The expression on Sara's face goes perfectly blank, her eyes narrowing just a little bit.

"Fuck that," she states blunt and cold. "I'm not talking about me, I don't matter right now."

Again she looks away from the camera, just her eyes, to focus on that nothing she had been before. "Of course it's alright that she's struggling, I didn't know it needed to be said, should be obvious that she's allowed to struggle and hurt and hate and... I thought... fuck."

Jon gets a lovely view of the blanket for a moment as she adjusts her position a little, then the camera is back on her face. "We're going to Hawaii tomorrow afternoon, to get her away from New York. I'll make sure she knows... I'll say the words that it's alright to feel what she's feeling, and keep an eye on her medication, though Alis does that better than I do. I won't go into the bathroom with her."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon's tone becomes firm. Blunt, even. "Alright, so, Pezzini, if you don't want me to fly back up there and take Becker to the Trisk medical bay on the Chief's orders, you're going to have to work with me. You want to help her? You let me help you both. You /do/ matter. If you're not in a good mental space, or talking to someone else, and if you won't let me /talk/ to her? Then I can't trust you to take care of her."

    He hesitates a moment, then in a softer tone, "I'm letting you take care of my patient while she's in a crisis. I won't even argue that maybe a vacation would be good for her right now. But she's my /patient/. I have an ethical responsibility, not to mention a responsibility to our superiors, /and/ one as her friend. Hell, just tell me you've /got/ an outlet, and that you'll talk to them, if you can't talk to me. But you're not taking her /anywhere/ until I'm certain that you have a solid plan in place, because if something happens then it's not your fault--it's /mine/ for letting her out of my sight. I /want/ to let you handle this. Work with me. Please."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Inside Sara's head she is screaming, the expression on her face remains blank with those narrowed eyes, but the scream isn't entirely her own... there are some triggers that Witchblade just doesn't ignore. She has to listen to the scream, to him railing against logic and reason, because that is her place, her lot in life.

"Wade's going with us," she whispers, trying to get some sort of normal tone to her voice. It's still a whisper, she refuses to risk waking Cael but the anger still breaks through. "You need to understand that this anger isn't at you, that this..." a pause, and she lays her head back against the wall. "... he doesn't like you, Witchblade I mean. He doesn't like anyone, but he likes Cael, so... yeah, Wade's going with us to Hawaii... I can talk to him, I will talk to him... but right now, I can't leave the room she's in."

Now she looks back at the camera, a little calmer in her tone. "I got this Jon, I got me and I got Cael, and your patient or not, she's my family. She may not think of me as her family, but she's my family. I don't care if you talk to her or not, but she has to tell you herself about this, cause if she found out I told you... that's a breach of trust Jon, I broke that because she /is/ your patient. So you don't need to preach me to me about it."

For a moment she lowers the blanket and as she does, Alis pokes her face into the camera to whisper, "Hi Jon!" and waves emphatically at it. This of course makes Sara jump and glare, but she should have suspected Alis would be /right/ there. "Don't worry Jon, I'm keeping an eye on both of them."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "Alright. Wade is... your boyfriend?" Jon nods. "That's good enough for me. So long as you let it out /somewhere/ so that you can have a clear head to deal with Becker."

    He peers at the ghost. "Hello Alis. I know you are, but I have my responsibilities just like Pezzini and Witchblade do. So... Hawaii. Assuming Becker's not in /immediate/ crisis, that's workable. I'm in Ecuador myself, though I'm /sort/ of working. It's connected to an op me and Martin are working. Don't push her to do anything she doesn't want to do--she might just want to sit around and be in your presence." He smirks. "Knowing Becker, she might /want/ to go skydiving or something, though. Don't guilt trip her into anything, is what I mean. She feels guilty enough already. Let her show you what she wants to do. Don't insist she talks about it, but listen if she does. I'll want to do a video call once a day, privately, give her a chance to talk this through."

    He raises his eyebrows. "What about the case, though? I mean, do your bosses care that you're just... heading off to Hawaii in the middle of a case? I wouldn't have left myself but I came in by private jet and we can arrange a portal or a quinjet in a real pinch."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Shoving Alis to the side, Sara reclaims her phone's camera. "I just explained all this to Cael, I'm not going into it again. I already told you this case is ending up a cold case, and likely will be the nail in the coffin that gets me fired. They're looking for reasons anyway, as many of my cases have had red flags since I got Witchblade, most reports are falsified because demons don't exist in the world of humans."

She glances toward the bed for a moment, then points Alis toward it before pulling the blanket back up over her head. "I can't keep doing this, keep pretending that I can solve cases for the NYPD when in fact, I can but not legally, not the way they should be for the legal system. I'm tired of it actually, so... I don't care about losing my job, cause it's going to happen. I need to just say fuck it and do what's right for Cael. I'll deal with the ramifications when they come."

"I don't push Cael to talk," she then says, changing the subject back to where it needs to be. "If she wants to talk, I'm there to listen. If she doesn't, then I just go about things as normal. She'll snark at Wade, maybe sit there and do nothing, but I intend to offer up suggestions of things do to."

There is another shift as her brain registers something, "Why would you think I'd guilt her, that part I don't get. I'd never guilt her. If she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to go, if she doesn't want to do anything, she doesn't do anything, but I can tell you this much... she'll try to fly past all this and throw herself back into her work like nothing happened. Anyway... I'm not a complete idiot, I just didn't know a few things."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    Jon chews on his lip. "...If you /want/, I could put in a suggestion to the department that because the Papal Killer targeted your partner, you need a mental health leave. Bogus up something where I think they've gone to ground, based on some bogus note where we found her. If helping Becker is the reason you get fired... it's going to make her feel /awful/. If we can delay it a bit, not let her think it's /directly/ her fault... that might be good for her. But that's up to you."

    He smiles, then. "Pezzini... I /trust/ you with her, okay? I really do. I don't think you're going to try to guilt her into anything. I'm just... doing boilerplate, covering the bases. I didn't realize you didn't have the training; I'm used to working with the FDNY paramedics. But... look, Becker's already pushing my professional ethics. I'm going to keep treating her, even though we're friends. I have to keep up /some/ of the things I swore to do when I became a medical doctor, which means telling people shit they already know."

    He sighs and rubs at his face. "I know I was blunt before, but in all truth, if I didn't think you and Alis could handle this, I wouldn't be in Ecuador. We all care about Cael, and we're going to make sure she gets better. Which means she's /going/ to have therapy, and I'm going to find /something/ for her to do that isn't work, because you're a hundred percent right that she'll try to throw herself right back into things."

    He huffs out a breath. "Is she asleep? Because if she's asleep, then let's let her stay that way. We can set up a time in the evening for me to talk to her--I think I'll be out at the digsite all day."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
"I've had the basic training, the signs to look for, trigger words, that sort of thing," Sara explains quietly. "But the NYPD tends to only train specific officers for 'mental health check' calls. I wasn't one of those, went from beat cop to homicide too fast, or so my father said." Shit, she shared... back on topic.

"I know you aren't pointing fingers or making accusations, I mean logically I know that... just really wired, so touchy. That's my bad, not yours." She drops the blanket just a little bit to peel, has to once again shove Alis aside and whisper, "Go lay down damn it." to her. Jon can hear the teenaged ghost giggle quietly then Sara is back under the blanket.

"Yeah, she's asleep," she says once she lifts the blanket back over her head. "I could get off on psych over them targeting Cael, but we'd need to fake hospital records for the reports that she /was/ taken and rescued..." she rubs her face with her other hand, the blanket just dropped. "Because obviously if they targeted and got my partner, leading me to take mental leave because /none/ of it was reported in any way due to the nature of it all. You think you can do that, then go for it. I don't want Cael blaming herself, even though it's not even remotely her fault."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I'll see what I can do." Jon smirks. "I... know some people. If nothing else... well, I /did/ file a report with SHIELD. Maybe it can all be classified. I'll see what I can work out. Already been trying to figure out what we can do to reassure the people of Hell's Kitchen." He rubs at his face, sighs.

    He hesitates. "I... know how hard it is, to be... you identify yourself by your job, and now you're losing it and becoming something else. If you /do/ want to talk, I'm here. If nothing else, maybe talk to your boyfriend about it." He sighs. "Look at us, risking our jobs over Cael." He smiles. "She's worth it, though."

    A beat, and then, "...One last thing. Witchblade might not like me, but maybe he'll... listen. I'm... worried. There's been a lot going on lately that leads me to believe maybe things are... unraveling, at a high level. I sort of figure we all need this time to rest and prepare for what may be coming, because what happened last night, the way reality folded... the power that angel has..."

    He frowns. His voice drops to almost a whisper. "Something's coming, Sara. Something big. I think we're going to need to be on top of our game when it comes. So I'll do what I can, to see you get a vacation before it's go time, without worrying Cael."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
The level of power the angel had was something Sara had been thinking about at the very back of her brain. In those moments that she stopped going over the lists in her heads, the things to say or not say, the possible ways to help Cael, ensuring food, rest, medication if needed... in those moments, she thinks back on what happened in that room and the moment they emerged in Hell's Kitchen. If Witchblade knew anything, if he recognized any part of it, thus far he was keeping it to himself. It's possible that he will reveal what he knows at some point, but right now he was raging.

"I used to identify my worth and myself by the job," she admits, more sharing, it sucked. "Always wanted to be a cop, because my father was one, because it felt right for me. But the longer I've been with Witchblade, the less that is the case. I thought I could mange to stay with the NYPD, to live in that world and do that job, but you and I both know that's a fucking joke, not even remotely possible any more. It's the mask I wear, and Witchblade is the reality. It's taken me until now to realize and accept it."

Lifting her hand to run her fingers through her hair, Jon can see that the bracelet is the gauntlet, and the 'eye' is open, a swirling of red and orange where the large stone is on the back of her hand. Witchblade was watching the realms around the apartment, and inside the apartment, and whether Sara liked it or not, he was being all gauntlety to do it.

"He listens because I listen," she states plainly, her hand and the gauntlet going back out of sight. "Truth? The one thing I've managed to glean from him, in his rage, is that this angel is no ordinary angel... so to hear that you feel something is coming, that the power of this thing had is more... I believe you, I feel it, he feels it and maybe if he knows something more he'll share before the shit hits the fan."

Jonathan Sims has posed:
    "I saw the other side of the fight," Jon says softly. "Getting near the crater... I took a statement." He shudders. "When we... when the circle lit up and things folded and we wound up on the street? That instant of... void? The /universe/ ended there. For just a moment." He swallows. "And it was because of the /angel/. A normal angel, bound like that? It wouldn't have done that. And it was talking about... 'the experiment is made anew?' This... this was... whatever we're facing... we might have to save the /universe/ here."

    He stops. "I am not supposed to think about this right now," he says suddenly, tone almost guilty. "So. I am not. I am just... letting you know. Go relax. Have fun, surf, skydive, get a tan. I'll have someone get in to do wards on Cael's bedroom before you get back, so she can feel safe whether or not you're there. I'll finagle the paperwork somehow. I'll probably be back in New York before you are. Quito's beautiful, by the way, if you ever get a chance to come down here."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
That was some pretty heavy shit that just got laid on Sara's shoulders, and if they were just her shoulders it likely would have lead to a more negative reaction. How does anyone hear that the universe itself could be in danger and just nod, which is exactly what she does. She can do this for one reason and only one reason... Witchblade. She knew that she wasn't alone, and that if it was the end, she would live on in him like all the other wielders before her.

"I'll leave a set of keys with Steve Rogers," she says first. "He lives in the the same building, just no going through my panty drawer." A joke, it fell flat even to her.

"Go enjoy your vacation Jon, you've earned it. I'll make sure Cael calls you tomorrow when we land in Hawaii, alright? In the mean time, we're all on vacation so no more shop talk."