915/Harley Sessions: Lois Lane

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Harley Sessions: Lois Lane
Date of Scene: 01 April 2020
Location: April's Apartment
Synopsis: Harley has her first therapy session with an unlikely client who BAMBOZZLES HER INTO AN INTERVIEW. LOIS LANE YOU VILLAIN
Cast of Characters: Harley Quinn, Lois Lane




Harley Quinn has posed:
It's a situation of knowing a guy who knows a guy, getting an appointment with Harley Quinn. It's not that she's hiding her location because she absolutely isn't, so much as that she's providing illegal therapy to people at drastically reduced rates, so any potential client has to be vet a little.. Mostly for security purposes, ya undahstand.

When one finally /does/ get through, however, they're given a time and an address. An apartment above an old Antique Shop where they'll find the Good Doctor, with a specific set of instructions not to be late, as there's no extension on the back end. The time they get is the time they get. Everything is paid up front.

People can say what they want about how crazy the Clown Princess of Therapy is... she knows how to turn a profit.

She's moved things around in the living room of the apartment, told April she'd be having a client over, and made sure it gave off a calming light rather than a bright glowy glare.. She was actually pretty good at this once upon time. "Okay.. I think tha's everythin'... should I put out some cold cuts'er suh'n?" Asking one of the pair of Hyenas laying down beside her leg. Bud glancing up at her with a little giggly yip... "yeah, definitely should put out some cold cuts... yer' as smaht as ya are adorable... I don't think April'll mind."

Lois Lane has posed:
Someone told her recently that putting her hair up did actually make her look just different enough not to be immediately recognized as Lois Lane, so she had done that. She's in casual clothes, jeans, a t-shirt, and a zip-up hoodie with a high ponytail in the back. Just your average everyday meeting with your average every day person, right?

Lois makes her way up the stairs, purse slung over her shoulder. When she reaches the door, she knocks a little tune on the door as a friendly greeting. "I hope I got the right place." She calls.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley Quinn:

Standing there in bright pink overall shorts, covering a t-shirt, she's every bit as pale as the pictures of her.. with tattooes practically everywhere. Small things that have seemingly no consistant theme, from the black/red checker gauntlet on her right wrist, to the skull jester upside down on her left thigh, and a heart beneath her right eye. She's got her hair up in piglets, the blonde hair dyed pink on the right and baby blue on the left, with eyes big and blue and lips rose red. Makeup legit on point ovah heah.

"Unless ya the cable guy, ya got the right spot... Come in." Having disengaged the advanced security system with her phone upon seeing Lois, incognito, on the television window within a window. "I'm Ha'lee Quinn. Don't believe all the things ya heah about me... or don't count on them bein' accurate no moah.. or do. I don't cahe, ya do you.. Have a seat." The two big brown hyenas perk their heads up, but then lay back down when Harley glances back at them. No scorn in her eyes, just a glance.

"Theah's cold cuts too." There is. A whole tray.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois looks impressed. She's certainly got the look down. It's one thing to see photos or video of a person, another to sit down with them. "Lois Lane, also don't believe all the things you hear about me. People sure do like to talk about things they know nothing about, don't they?" She smiles, moving over to take a seat over on a nearby chair. It's then that she notices the hyenas and quirks an eyebrow.

"I know you're supposed to be asking me questions in this sort of thing, but I was actually hoping I could ask /you/ a few." She pauses, eyeing the cold cuts before she reaches over and sneaks a piece.

Harley Quinn has posed:
It's possible that Harley has no idea who Lois Lane is.

I'm just kidding.

"Ya don't look a thing like Supahman." She muses with a teasing grin, hoping over the back of the couch with a lions grace to come down in a cross legged position in one of the cushions. Likewise glancing back at the hyenas, "They don't bite unless I give the kill command." Which probably settles absolutely nobodies nerves. "Which I wont do unless ya get handsy." Which Lois wont do, so everybody is safe.

"I don't cahe how ya spend yah time. Yer payin' foah it, but it wont be much of a therapy session if ya spend it askin' me a bunch'uh questions... Besides." She slaps her palms down on her thighs, then lets them draw down into her lap so her right fingers are curled over her left knuckles, "This is moah about you talkin' an' me guidin' ya. It's not an interview, ya can talk about whatevah ya want."

Lois Lane has posed:
Right, not an interview. That's going to be the tricky part. Lois makes herself comfortable in the chair. "Okay, sure, I actually wanted to come ask you an odd question. I had reason to visit someone at Arkham recently and... I wasn't exactly liking the treatment I saw of him there. I was hoping that if I signed up for this you might want to talk to me. Kind of want to do some good for some people who might be otherwise overlooked."

Direct and upfront felt like the best route to go, so Lois went with that first. If she was stuck with therapy, well... she'd have to see how she could navigate that.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley's quiet a second, and not even looking over at Lois. She's staring at the cold cuts. Making some decision about something, she leans forward and moves all the ham to the otherside, switching it with salami. "That looks bettah right? Moah presentable?"

She cannot possible be serious.

Her blue eyes jerk up to look at Lois, "So ya came heah sayin' ya want't therapy but ya jus' want't ta ask about Arkham? Ya sure ya aint the paparazzi?" All grins, shoulders slinking up into a shrug. "I don't give a shit wha'cha came foah, really.. I mean I hope't I was about to help someone wit their personal problems, but... whatevah, toots, it's yer dollah." Motioning with a go for it motion with her hands.

"The most important thing to know about Arkham... Salsbury Steak night is Sunday."

Lois Lane has posed:
"I mean, if you'd rather listen to me ramble about how much of a glass ceiling for women there is in working in the media, we certainly can," Lois agrees. "But I kind of think you're the more interesting one in this room right now." She pauses. "Maybe with the exception of the hyenas." She flashes a smile.

"Paparazzi only care about making a buck. There's no money in this kind of story, it's the kind of thing to be done because it needs to be done. You'd be helping a lot more than just me with a personal problem." She tilts her head to the side. "I just need to know how they treated you there. I saw firsthand how they treated Clayface... it wasn't pleasant."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Ah, toots, theah's a glass ceilin' for women in everythin'." Harley says with a snort, waving a hand almost dismissively. Not so much at the idea, she clearly gets that, but at the dimsisiveness of dismissing it as something unworthy of talking about. "Even crime.. Ya know wha' the first question anybody asks me when I show up?" Tilting her head, drawing a red tongue against an even redder bottom lip. One brow raised over a deep blue eye, "Weah's Mistah J. Imagine tha'..." She opens her hands and motions to Lois, "It aint about who is moah interestin', though.. I'm the most interestin' person in any room I'm in if foah no othah reason than I'm unpredictable. Nobody knows what Imma do... an' so they all watchin' me." She leans into the cushions, adjusting her legs out straight with her arm dangling over the back of the couch.

"Bud an' Lou? Eh.. they kinna borin' really.. jus' cuddle monstahs an' sweet hearts... aint ya babies.." They both perk their heads up and yipp yipp yipp at her before settling back down, "Mommas got a steak foah you boys in the fridge foah latah."

Looking back to Lois. "So if theahs a glass ceilin', how ya intend to break through it, eh? Tha's the thing about glass aint it? Ya just smash it outta ya way.. an' if ya do it from off the property, yer still only charged wit tresspassin', not breakin' an enterin'... my lawyer taught me that."

"oh, I know Clayface... ya prolly gettin' manipulate't by'em, jus sos ya know... which don't mean tha Arkham is a wondahful place cus it aint. It's a prison pretendin' to be a hospital. I been beatin', battered, an' .. worse.. an' it weren't always by the patients."

Lois Lane has posed:
"No, I suppose it's probably just as bad as any lock-up, when it comes down to it. I don't do a lot of prison interviews, I usually tend to be a little more... mid-action," Lois says, although she does seem to be contemplating the glass ceiling thing. "I hadn't really compared it to the crime world, but I imagine you'd be a great example." Maybe that'd be the better story here.

Then again, there is some allure to the therapy thing. "People keep bringing up that I should start my own media company of some sort. I hadn't even thought too much about it and then it was like... every time I mentioned work they were talking about how it'd be nice to have some kind of female-headed media thing going on."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Ya know theah's merit in that." Harley says with a bobbing head, real slow and methodical approach to agreement with a grin on her bright red lips set against almost white skin. A vast contrast of colors. She's glossing over herself, too. Like a surgeon slicing out a cancer cell. At least as it pretains to anything news worthy, right?

She already did April's podcast to great success for April.

"I'm actually wohkin' foah a Karen Starr at Starrwares as her personal assistant at the New York branch." She points out, "An' theah's that Avengin' woman, Janet Van Dyke oah whatevah. I think she's bonin' Steve Rogahs. Talk about a craddle robbah, amirite?" Inner musing. "Why not a female media mogal? Look't yer competition... Ted Turner? That guys like foah hun'rit ye'ahs old... I don't know anybody else in tha media business, but I'm sure they all fuckin' suck."

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois can't hold back a laugh. "Oh, Janet's a good friend of mine. Let me tell you, that girl knows how to /party/. She is also one of the shrewdest business women I know. She's tried to get me to career change for years. This is what I picked, though, and it's what I'm good at and what I love doing. I'm just not..." She taps her chin. "I'm not satisfied doing the same thing over and over without making some progress somewhere."

There's a pause. "You know, I wonder what it would take to get you an official license back to do this sort of thing."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"I bet a shrewd woman like Janet would be moah'n happy to help her good friend Lois Lane wit' a little start up capital foah a small media firm." Harley says, hands up, "An' I'm jus' brainstormin' heah... I bet ya could even bank on a few key, high profile interviews sold to the right netwohks, sell the as contracts with distribution rights foah ya on conglomerate.." She slowly, lazily, lifts her shoulders in a shrug.

"I aint sayin' ya bank the family fahm on it oah nothin', I'm jus' sayin' ya don't gotta change careers tah break through an illusionary ceilin'. Ya got friends who done it.. Jus' food foah thought..." Reaching out to slide the tray of cold cuts towards Lois, "Like these Boahs Head dinnah meats I bought an' you aint touch't."

License? Harley raises a brow, "Foah me? Hah... prolly a new name."

Lois Lane has posed:
"That's not a bad idea, though. Janet would be an incredible business partner, pretty sure she'd be willing to throw the money into something like that," Lois seems thoughtful. "I'd have to be careful and poach some good reporters if I did it, though." She seems to be thoughtful there. "Clark would obviously have to come or that'd be a /weird/ dynamic."

She reaches over to take a piece of salami. "I just mean, thugs on the street recognize my face because they're afraid of me investigating things. That's the kind of notoriety money doesn't buy." She shakes her head. "But see, I don't think that's a problem for you. Sure, you could get people to come in underground-like, you help them. But you... you're a legitimate professional. Don't think I didn't do my research."

She sits up a bit more. "I've been told you have a full pardon. Which probably means, legally, they can't stop you from a license. I'd have to look up the legality of it. But think about it for a second. Why /not/ go to therapy with Harley Quinn? You have life experience and you are /not/ the ordinary. You push that you are one-hundred-percent a secret keeper and they'll flock on in." She snags another piece of salami. "Oh, oh, and you could get an office but it doesn't have to look like an office... you could get really fun with the decorating. Lean in to making it as fun, as /you/ as possible."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Ya could prolly get April undah yah umbrella too.. give her tha backin' necessary ta turn her podcast inna a big deal, ya know? At the very least, I knows she's a good reportah an' not jus cus I live in her apartment an' force her to be my best friend neithah." Harley says with a grin, leaning onto her palms laid against her thighs. She's a limber mynx, the clownette.

"Nah, I aint scahed of too many people." She admits with a shrug, "I been around fah worse than them, almost always anyways... but I mean Jokah right? He's pretty horrible." Notiably, she did not say Mistah J. Nor did she get all googoo eyes when mentioning him.

"Full pahdon might be a bit of a stretch, but I aint out illegally... I'm still me, still Ha'lee Quinn an' the medical boahd aint gonna foot ovah no license to a loon, I don't cahe how professional she is." She's not disparaging herself, just being realistic.. and in a completely sane way besides. "But tha's sohtah what I'm doin' aint it? Buildin' a client base, peoples who got things they need ta talk about but can't go to a regulah therapist foah whatevah reasons... maybe ya a supah villain, I don't cahe, I'll help ya so longs ya don't bring troubles intah April's apahtment... fuck up this place an' ya gettin' the mallet." Not Lois, but in general. She's fiercely protective of April.

"Besides, it's fun heah. Nice a homie environment an' all that. I like tha moah intimate settin'." Grinning ear to ear, maybe a little crazy in the eyes, but she certainly seems to have a clamp on it for the most part. She /is/ trying to sell herself though... so there's almost certainly a lot of effort going into to controlling the nuts-oh inside her.

Lois Lane has posed:
"People are telling me podcasts are getting great numbers these days. I've actually listened to a few of hers... she's got great investagative instincts. Her cousin Terry's one of my interns," Lois grins a bit. "Kid has those instincts too. Family must be full of them. They'd be really strong candidates to try and recruit." She reaches over for another piece of salami. She seems to be favoring it out of the cold cuts.

"You're right though. You don't even need the legality of things. That can even be a bonus... there's no records so you can say whatever you want and be free about it. You get enough people you might have to go somewhere bigger. But this isn't a bad start."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"I don't know nothin' bout Terry's investigative skills, but he surrounds himself wit interestin' peoples foah sure." Harley says, clearly meaning, at the very least, herself. Grinning as her feet swing around to land pad first on the carpet, "I think ya got the basis foah a pretty solid crew theah.. I mean, I aint tryin' ta tell a lady how ta do her thing, mind ya, I'm jus' sayin theah aint no reasons why ya gotta chain yaself to nobody elses wagon."

Look at her?

Hands out, palms skyward, head tilting. She could be a really psychotic cheerleader with that grin and wild lady eyes. "I thought they'd be a biggah audiance foah therapy from me, if I'm bein' poifectly honest. People prolly shyin' away cus of who I am, right now.. Gotta give'em time, shine to tha idea. Aint like I'm hurtin foah money at the present." Plus she's making good headlines, which is always a solid win.

"I aint tryin' to cornah the mahkit on sessions eithah, which is why I'm doin' it all lowkey. Helps them what can be help't an' let the rest figgah theah shit out on theah own. No sweat off my ass."

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois holds up a finger. "Don't chain yourself to someone else's wagon unless you /want/ to go along for that ride. Sometimes wagons are pretty great." There's a very careful point to be made there. Sometimes you forge those chains yourself. "Also, maybe people haven't done their research. Maybe they don't know this is sort of your thing, you know?"

She smiles. "You probably just need some positive PR. Best thing to do is get a few people to come in and let their word of mouth spread things around."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Tha's definitely mah plan." Harley says of.. well it could be either to chaining herself to a wagon or letting word of mouth spread the positive experience she's trying to bring with these sessions. "I've got a couple people in mah cohnah tha' are really bankin' on mah rehab.. people who cahe foah a change .. an' ahnt tryin' ta manipulate me."

She leans forward herself and rolls up a piece of ham into a slice of cheese to toss in her mouth, chewing like an animal with smacks and sucking her fingers noisely as if she aint got no mannahs. Which she don't really. Not anymore.

"It /was/ my thing. I'm jus' tryin' to make it my thing again.. but it aint my only thing, eithah. I got othah things. I'm a many things kinna gal."

Lois Lane has posed:
"Having people who care about you makes a world of difference," Lois agrees. "So it's good that you've got something going on that helps keep you going." She watches Harley, leaning back against the back of the chair. "Don't limit yourself. Or really, don't let someone else limit you."

She shrugs. "There's a half-a-dozen things I could do if I wanted, I just have my priorities focused at work and... mostly at work. Pretty much everything good in my life is already there, so I can't complain."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"I aint got a whole lot of great experiences foah the last couple ye'ahs, so it's nice to have somethin' to staht replacin' those.." Harley doesn't open up so easily, Lois did her research. She knows to what the Princess of Clowns is speaking. Still, there's a little grin on her deep red lips as she eats another rolled slice of meat on cheese.

"Well, seems like ya got yah head on yah shouldahs anyhow. Bettah'n most. I'll be waitin' ta program ya very on channel onta my record schedule once ya staht pumpin' out programmin'. BUT.. if ya evah do? I want a sitcom about mah life. Ya know how many views tha'd pull in?" Pfffffffff pursed lips flapping together with expell of air through them.

"It'd dominate tha mahket."

Lois Lane has posed:
"You know, April's pretty good with the whole podcasting thing... the two of you could do a bit of a tag-team duo thing. You're the pro, she's the reporter... it could be like the modern day equivalent of an advice column. Real advice from someone who has been along all walks of life, curated by someone who knows what stories to put out there."

It's a little thought experiment. Lois seems to really be envisioning it. "It could be a good way to benefit off of each other's popularity. Plus that sounds like you could just have some drinks and hang out while arguing over which 'caller' has the worst boyfriend."

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley opens her mouth to say something, then closes it... Tilting her head at Lois, first one one, then the other.. "Huh.. How we didn't come up wit tha' is beyond me, but I'm definitely gonna suggest it.. That'd just be awesome, hangin' out wit my best frien', clownin' on people callin' in?" She grins mischevously and dunks her head into some quick nods, starting toss a piece of meat over her shoulder to the cackling hyenas behind her until she thinks better of it. "Ugh, no.. ya cant have human food, ya know that.. stop whinin'." Tossing it in her mouth instead.

"So, ya got any othah questions, reporter lady? Or things ya wanna get off ya chest? Ya still got a while left on ya time." She's got at least one watch, but more like two, on her left wrist. Glancing at it casually, but certainly not appearing in any rush. Sucking on the end of her thumb absently with one leg pulling up beneath her, the other crossing the ankle.

Lois Lane has posed:
"You do that, I'd absolutely listen in, I'll call in whenever I have questions about my relationship," Lois does laugh a little at the idea. "Although that may take a while. We're in the whole honeymoon phase of everything being great." Took a bit to get there, but she's totally on board with things now.

"Other than toying with the idea of breaking that glass ceiling, I'm not sure I've got a lot on my plate. Work is good otherwise, I'm in a fantastic relationship, active social life, danger to my life currently fairly minimal. As for questions for you... I'm starting to think I'm going to wait a little and see just how some of these things pan out for you. I've got a feeling you'll be big pretty soon and /that's/ when I think you need the Lois Lane scoop."

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley snorts, "I hope not." Getting big, she shakes her head at that concept, "I don't wanna be big, I jus' wanna be me." Super deep right? "Which is pretty big of me aint it?" Wink, tongue clicking off her teeth with a clk of teeth sucking together and a soft pop of her cheek.

"This feel moah like ya paid me ta come hang out, reportah lady." Said with a snicker, looking around the apartment. "Which is fine, I'm still gonna chahge ya, but it feels kinda sketch. Ya want an' autograph oah suh'n so I don't feel like I'm stealin' ya money?"

Beneath the table, there's so many bags. Shopping bags from over on Madison Blvd where all the top end stores are. Varying sizes, all pretty brand new. "Wanna take a grab bag home? I think theahs some undah pants in at leas on'of um ya can surprise ya fella wit? Real..." Kissing her fingers, spreading them away from her lips. "Classy, stuff... classy an' skimpy. Jus' like in grade school."

Lois Lane has posed:
There's a wide grin from Lois. "I dunno, you inspired me to at least look into breaking that glass ceiling. People kept telling me it was a good idea, I thought maybe they were humoring me a bit." She'd briefly talked about seeing where she might move on to with a few people, but she'd never taken it too seriously. "Consider yourself inspirational."

She takes a peek at the bags, then laughs. "Oh god, clothes are the last thing I need. My office has become a second closet for all the things Janet just throws my way. Designer clothes for /days/. Super appreciate the thought, though."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Moah foah me then." Harley says over her shoulder at the bags, as if sharing some moment with them, then dropping back into the cushion with a laugh. A cackling laugh even, like something tickled her pink. Chewing at gum she had stuck up between her teeth and jowels suddenly dropping down between them.

"I don't think anybodied evah think I was inspirational. Leas nobody whats evah read nothin' about me, anyhow. Maybe as a cautionary tale." She muses with a smirk, wiggling around with jingling bangles around her wrist as she stays almost constantly in motion. As there's a resevour of energy inside her that's starting to get a little antsy.

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois stretches a little, glancing at the time. Well, she ended up with an entirely different direction in terms of a story. "I think if people don't find you inspirational, they're pretty stupid. If you were merely a cautionary tale... you wouldn't be trying so hard. Besides, it's not like you're running a scam here. You're trying to help people."

She gestures to the cold cuts. "You're trying to make people feel comfortable around you and talk about emotional things. I know 'success stories' that wouldn't even do that. So you can tell anyone who tries to tell you otherwise that they can shove it." She slowly gets to her feet. "I've got to get going. I'm pretty sure I forgot to tell Clark where I was going and he starts to worry if I haven't checked in."

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley beams a smile over to Lois by way of Harley express(ion), yeah you see what I did there. Nodding along with the reporter, "It aint always sunny, though." She points out, tapping the side of her head, but she refrains from delving too deeply. It's obvious what she means. Harley's not fixed completely. There's still some broken pieces to pick up.

"Oh, you can trust I will." Tell people to shove it, "I aint nevah had to be told to tell someone ta shove it. It's one of ma favorite things.. prove'n people wrong." But Lois says she's got to go and Harl stands up with hands pulling her from the cushion. Another slice of ham is wrapped in cheese to slide into her mouth, licking her lips as she lazily chews.

"Well, don't be a strangah. This was jus' tha gettin' ta know ya session, next time ya can tell me about ya childhood an' all that nonsense ya seen in the pictures." Offering her hand after wiping it on her overalls. "Seeya next time?"

Lois Lane has posed:
"You're right, it's not always sunny." Lois agrees. Everyone's got their own pieces to pick up in a way. "Good luck getting me to talk about my childhood," she states as she makes her way towards the door. "It's /boring/." Even with the wiped hand, she sticks her hand out to shake Harley's.

"I'll be sure to come back. Maybe I'll even pass the word around to select individuals."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"I have ways of makin' ya talk." Harley says in a voice that might sound threatening if she weren't grinning... and may sound even more so because she's grinning. It's all in the eye of the beholder. "Tha babies will cuddlle ya an' ya'll be spillin' tha beans about ya junior prom in no time flat." Motioning out towards the door, not ushering Lois out so much as freeing her from captivity.

There's a unique way about Harley.

She's capable of a lot of harm under the wrong circumstances.

Is truly volitile in a way that most find unsettling.

But when she /actually/ smiles and tries?

Who could hate a face like that?

"Please do. Ya got mah numbah.. So longs I aint in the office, I'm willin' tah meet wit people."

Lois Lane has posed:
Lois pauses, trying to picture her junior prom. "Oh god, yeah, we're not going there. Nope." She's hurrying towards the door with that thought, certainly. "We'll see about how free my childhood memories are next time. Until then I am going to blissfully ignore young Lois." She makes her way towards the front, but stops to look back.

"Let April know I might be getting in touch soon. Just to feel out logistics /if/ I decide to make a big move."

Harley Quinn has posed:
"Young Lois is beggin' foah ya attention, Old Lois." Deliberately saying that because ya never talk about a womans age, Harley does though. She just does it good natured while being deliberately, if playfully, obtuse. "Ya should always listen ta ya innah child, okay? This is very important.. an' ya can totally trust my advice heah.. I'm a fuckin' professional..." Hands out, nodding, smug grin.

She nods, "I'll let'ah know. Todays her birthday too, so if I'll send ya her numbah so ya can call her today.. It'd be a good surprise foah her, I think." Holding the door, "Get 'ottah heah, go go..." Shooing motion with her fingers not gripping the door. "Text me ya want anothah appointment.. oah if ya jus' wanna chat. I dont' sleep, evah."

Lois Lane has posed:
"Her birthday? Oh, that definitely sounds like a perfect idea then. Pass her number on, I'll be sure to give her a call, or at least leave a voicemail if she doesn't pick up," Lois seems quite fond of the idea. "But I'll be sure to text. Thank you, Harley. I'll be in touch."

And with that, she's out the door, heading back down the stairs towards the street.

Harley Quinn has posed:
Harley wiggles her fingers after Lois, pushing the door closed with the jerk of her wrist as she turns towards the Hyenas staring up at her, "I think tha' went alright dontchu?" Both of them yip, but stare at her puzzled, "What do you know, yer jus' dumb hyenas." Who pad over to her, kneeling down to rub their jaws as they rub their faces against hers. "Adorable, dumb, hyenas... Come on, lets getcha some steaks."