9493/On the Eve of Battle

On the Eve of Battle
Date of Scene:	06 January 2022
Location:	Cael and Sara's Temporary Quarters: Triskelion
Synopsis:	Cael admits her recent 'blunder' to Sara - and she and Alis try to knock some sense into her. As usual, it doesn't really stick.
Cast of Characters:	Cael Becker, Sara Pezzini

---

Cael Becker has posed:
    It's the evening of the fifth - and tomorrow, at dawn, war is scheduled to begin. Calling it an early night is certainly a good idea - but the idea of sleep is daunting, with all that is happening and Cael had opted to check in on Jon, carrying with her a very expensive bottle of whiskey. She returns without it about an hour later, barefoot (as she had been when she left), with Bear padding on her heels. She looks almost... dazed, perhaps even confused, as she heads for the couch and flops onto it - pulling a cusion to her chest just before Bear tries to jump up to fit both of them into the space. "Bear! Oof. Ge' off! This isn't the bed!" she protests, shoving the dog back off her with a laugh. Once the pup is settled onto the floor beside her, she lets her hand dangle over the side of the couch, resting on his head as she lets out a sigh.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
There wasn't a whole lot for Sara to unpack as she always kept clothes at the Triskelion anyway. Settling into the the temporary quarters was more unpack the backpack into a dresser then plop on the couch. The room weren't all that big, like mini apartments really, but she was sitting on the couch watching the news all the same.

As Cael wanders in, dazed, with Alis beside her in an incorporeal state, the taunting tone of Alis going 'Shell's gonna get some' over and over again made Sara lift a brow and blink a few times. The second Cael closes the front door however, she gets to hear Alis because she materializes.

"Shell's gonna get some, Shell's gonna get some," and then Alis notices that Sara is there. She slams her mouth shut then falls against the hall wall laughing.

Sara mean while is watching and listening, but her eyes follow Cael to the couch. "Alrighty then..." she manages to breath out. "What happened?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Oh my God I'm going to kill you," Cael mutters under her breath - her voice quickly growing muffled as she hides her face in the cushion she'd pulled to her face. "You are the worst. The absolute worst."
    Despite Cael's words, Bear's tail wags cheerfully, his tongue lolling out, as he relaxes on the floor next to the couch.
    "...I kissed Jon," comes the muffled, almost inaudible mutter from behind that cushion. "I'm such an idiot."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara had been holding a bottle of water. At Cael's announcement however it slipped from her hand and hit the floor, luckily with lid on.

There are a hundred possible ways to react to that and all of them ran through her at the same moment, thankfully for Cael's sake, the one that she went with was... "Oh... why?" What she really wanted to do was bombard the woman with all the obvious questions, but just that one for now... while staring at her... with wide, shocked eyes.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis grins ear to ear and sticks her tongue out.

"Can't kill what's already dead... besides... Shell's gonna get some." and she's right back into the chant while dancing around the room.

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael hears the thump - and just lets out a soft groan in response. The question 'why' - well. It's a pretty //big// question. "He was frightened," Cael offers in response. "Of what Michael's going to do to him tomorrow. Of what he agreed to. He was so frightened, and I just- God, I don't know. It was wrong, and it was stupid, and Martin's gonna have my hide, and he //should//."
    She turns over, face going towards the back of the couch, prompting Bear to lift his head and nuzzle and lick at the back of her neck. "...gross, Bear," she adds in a quiet mutter.
    "I'm not gonna 'get some'!" she adds towards her sister. "Ugh."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
At this time Sara shoots Alis a look, while Cael can't see her do it, and instantly Alis stops her little chant... for now. With that taken care of, Sara turns her attention back to Cael.

"Okay... so I'm going to assume there's a piece of information there that I'm missing," she begins. "Such as you having feelings for Jon. I'm going to assume that's where the root is, then that his fear lead to it all." Sometimes when there's no information, you have to extrapolate and that's what she's doing.

"Important question now... did he return the kiss?"

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Not exactly. I mean, he didn't have a chance. I- the moment I realized what I was doing, I stopped, I pulled away. He-" Cael takes a deep breath in, and lets it out slowly. "He, uhh... He didn't mind, though. He said so, at least. He said he'd talk to Martin..."
    She throws the cusion abruptly - not aiming it at anything, and it's not a particularly good throw, as she remains shoved into the cushions of the couch, and throws the thing back over her shoulder. "I should have talked to Martin first! I'm such an idiot... I mean, consent is a thing! AND HE'S MARRIED!" Damnit, Cael...

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara scoots down the couch, reaches over Bear and lays her hand on Cael's shoulder. "Hey now, stop that," she says both calmly, but firmly enough to get the point across. "Don't beat yourself up like that. We've all done something like this," pause. "Okay, Alis hasn't, but I know I have."

She smiles, even though Cael can't see it. "You don't need to beat yourself up. First, you realize it was a mistake and that's enough. Second, Jon wasn't upset, and that one is the most important. He said he'd talk to Martin and I'm sure he'll explain it was a 'heat of the moment' thing. Third, you have no idea if there marriage is open or not, or what sort of agreements they have in place. Four, and this is the most important one... consent is a thing, but in the heat of a moment, consent goes out the door and it's not like you did anything so horrible that I need to arrest you."

She caresses Cael's shoulder then gives a squeeze, "So please, calm down. We'll work it out."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I'm still an idiot," Cael mutters quietly, even as she silences the worst of her recrimination. She doesn't move from her position hiding her face into the back of the couch. "Jon seems to think it'll- that Martin'll be okay," she finally admits. "And he said that he cares about me." Which is good enough - it's a lot, in fact.
    "I still can't believe I- I really didn't mean for things to go like this. I was going to wait, and see if- I don't know."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Pulling her hand back, Sara continues to smile. The idea of Cael actually finding Jon attractive, being interested in him 'that' way is part of why she's smiling, the other reason is because she gets it, why Cael did it now.

"Of course you didn't mean for things to go like this," she offers. "Most of the time we can't plan when this will happen. It just happens, when we lease expect it, when we don't want it to happens, it slaps us in the side of the head and there it is... it happens."

Sitting back, she pulls out her phone for a moment to look at the picture of Wade without the mask, then puts her phone back. "You think I planned to have feelings for Wade? I was seriously just thinking a couple nights of sex, maybe a drinking buddy, but /plans/ never work. So you're falling for Jon, the thing you need to figure out now is if he feels the same, and if Martin has opinion on it."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I think that he does," Cael answers in quiet voice. "I mean, he said... That he cares about me. That he's going to talk to Martin. But he-" She cuts herself off abruptly, squeezing her eyes shut, and trying desperately to hold back the tears that threaten. First her mother, then Alis - now Jon. Why? Why do all the people that she loves-
    "I just hope I haven't hurt Martin - or lost his respect, or... I don't know. What do I even say to him? 'I'm sorry I kissed your husband?' Ugh."
Far better to worry about Martin - than to worry about what she was told.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Having scooted closer, Sara gives Bear a nudge to make him move then she moves closer and hugs Cael. Leaning against her she wraps one arm around her, letting the woman stay hidden in the couch but giving her support to her.

"You can't know anything about Martin," she says quietly, softly. "And yes, that's exactly what you say if it ends up there's a serious problem with what happened... but if Jon is feeling the same way about you Cael, then part of this goes on his shoulders. You may have kissed him first, but something tells me that if he is feeling something for you, he eventually would have done something himself. Seriously, stop beating yourself up. I'm sure it will work out."

Alis has remained quiet this entire time, but she knows what is troubling Cael, or at least she thinks she does. She wants to tell Sara herself, because Cael is forgetting that Sara is there, a friend, she's called Cael family... that means Sara loves her, just like Alis loves her, and Cael isn't seeing it right now. Even knowing that, Alis decides it's not her place to say anything yet. If Cael doesn't say what's really troubling her about Jon, then she'll speak up.

Cael Becker has posed:
    "That's what I have to say regardless," Cael says under her breath. "But it's a stupid thing to say. 'I'm sorry I //accidentally// kissed your //husband//." She lets out a quiet groan. "I'm the 'other woman.'" She's the worst.
    "...maybe you're right though, I don't know. I've literally never- I mean this is the first time... I don't let people in like this." And it terrifies her.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara does not move, she remains in the hug position with just the one arm around Cael.

"It wasn't accidental, so that would be a lie," she offers with a hint of a chuckle. "You apologize for the kiss, plain and simple, straight forward, no lies. There's another factor here that you may need to consider, in regards to being the 'other woman'. Some relationships out there are more open that others."

For a moment she glances to Alis who is doing this really odd silent pacing thing, which is what drew Sara's eyes too her. Usually that pacing meant Alis was thinking deep thoughts, which worried the chestnut haired woman. "Some couples out there are well, trios, and it happens more in gay relationships when one or the other is bisexual. I'm not saying Jon and Martin are like that, I just know they had a daughter, and I know a few trios out there. So stop being so down on yourself."

Now she sits up a little, but she keeps one hand on Cael's shoulder. "A bit of a complicated choice for a first time, but that doesn't mean it's impossible, or that any bridges are burned, Cael. And no matter what happens, you have Alis and I. We'll always be your family, we'll help you through it."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Complicated is one way to put it," Cael agrees in a dry tone. She finally starts pushing herself up - reaching for another cushion on the couch to pull into her lap, as she stares down at the dog still sitting near the edge of the couch. "I'm not sure that, uhh, that's really- that being my family is a great idea, Sara," she says, without offering any other explination. "In fact, I'm pretty sure it's an awful idea."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara shrugs as she sits back up, but stays sitting right beside Cael.

"You think being my family is any better?" She asks plainly. "My father is dead, anyone who has ever been close to me is dead or in a coma... but it doesn't matter, family is family, and you Cael Becker, are my family."

Alis finally stops pacing and looks at Cael. "You can't get out of this one I'm afraid, I've heard her tell other people that."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Y"Yeah, well, maybe we'll get each other killed, then," Cael answers - letting out a humorless laugh. "Why keep letting people in, Sara? Why - if that's what always happens? If that's how we somehow... always lead people?" Her gaze goes to her sister, before looking back down at Bear, as the dog nuzzles his nose into her lap for pets. "Maybe neither of us survive this thing, huh? But I guess, so long as we save the world..."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
There is a slight tilt to Sara's head at this question, and a slightly raised brow. She was no psychologist, but she knew the answer all the same.

"Because Cael, human beings can't survive alone," she says quietly. "We're community creatures, meant to have people around us. If we can't have family by blood, then we need friends, people who can help hold us up when we're feeling down. Sure, some people get hurt because of what I do, but I have to keep hoping and trying because I know... I can't be alone."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Well... I'm not alone. Apparently I've never been." Cael glances towards Alis with a small, wry but sad smile. "And I have friends. I- that has to be enough. That should be enough." Shouldn't it? "Well. I don't- I doubt we'll fix my issues tonight. It's been... a weird night."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
That sting struck Sara in the chest again, sending a pang through her entire body that she barely kept from being visible by looking over to Alis.

"Nah, I mean no... we won't work it out tonight," she offers quietly.

Alis sighs really, really loud, then says bluntly. "Shell, stop being a bitch. Sara just called you family and you stabbed her in the chest, again. And once , for your sake, she took it and said nothing. Fucking stop it already. You two are family, whether you like it or not Cael, fucking accept it. That makes /all/ of us family."

Cael Becker has posed:
    Cael looks between Sara and Alis - trying to fight that rising panic in her chest, as Bear whines and nudges at her some more, demanding pets and attention. She obliges, dropping her gaze towards the pup as she struggles to bottle and control her emotions. Even when, logically, you know you're being absolutely ridiculous - logic doesn't help hold back the emotions. "Sara, you know I don't mean to hurt you. You know I don't. I- You, and Jon, and Sam, and Alis - there's only four people I give a shit about, at all," she insists quietly. Why can't that be enough?
    "I'm sorry," she finishes lamely, unsure what else to say.

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Sara gives Alis a look, a long, hard, almost glaring look before she softens her face and looks back to Cael.

"I know you care, and I know you didn't mean to hurt me," she says quietly. "I know that word is hard for you to use or even consider, so I accept it. Alis just has a big mouth."

Alis sighs again then sits down on the floor by Bear. "Yeah, I got a big mouth, but that's because I'm worried about /both/ of you. Cael, I've watched you withdraw into yourself since my death and it's killed me..." she winces. "Emotionally... I meant emotionally. This isn't you, it wasn't you. You were always so..." she bubbles in the spot she's sitting in. "You're acting like I used to, cynical and cold and I know that's not you. You're letting grief win, and I hate it. I /loath/ that it's happened and well... I want to make it better."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "God, she always has," Cael agrees - though a smile flicks across her features for a moment as she says it.
    She continues to scratch at Bear's head as she listens to her sister, her gaze locked onto the dog's patient, loving, amiable features. "I know I've changed - and I'm trying to get better. Hell, that was why I started going to see Jon, wasn't it?" she points out bluntly. "It's why I've been going to see Caldwell every day now. I was starting to get better, starting to feel more like myself, but-" then the world decided to end. A few tears start to streak down her cheek, and she brushes them away with annoyance. "I know you're worried, but I can't just will myself back how I used to be. I won't ever be the same Shelley again - but I swear I've been trying."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Well at least Sara finally had the last name of the new therapist Cael was seeing, she'd been wondering but didn't ask. Seemed like she was always asking something that technically wasn't her business, so she'd stopped.

"You've been doing fine Cael," she offers, even though she only partial believed it. "It's going to take time, and honestly I think it'd be better if you stopped throwing yourself out there in the middle of things, but since I know you won't stop... I'll keep trying to protect you where I can and help you through the things I can't stop from happening."

Alis shifts a little, then pets Bear's side. "I know you've been trying, I've seen it. One moment you're okay, the next... not, then you're okay again. I know it's going to take time, I just with I could help, you know... make the good times stick around more."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "If I can help, then I should help," Cael insists quietly, but firmly. "And there's no way I'm //not// shooting Michael in his stupid fucking face." For just that moment her voice is cold, and angry. It drains back out of her a moment later, though.
    "You do help you know, Alis. Having you back is- I never thought that I'd... God it's been nice. You know how much I missed you." She lifts her gaze to look at her sister with a small smile, before looking back down at Bear.
    "And besides, the two of you brought me this little beast." she adds, scratching at Bear's shoulder. "And that's been- God, I didn't know how much I needed him. So yeah, you help. You both do. Just think what a mess I'd be without you."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis continues to pet Bear's side, then she looks at Cael.

"It was Sara," she says with a smile. "She's the one who got you Bear. I just helped with which kinda dog I thought you'd like, the rest was totally her."

Sara waves Alis' comment off. "I just... I remembered how you were with Lily and thought you'd like him. I asked around, and there were two available, a golden retriever and Bear here. I was pretty set on Bear but I asked Alis to check them out with me. I'm glad you like him though, cause I'm a sucker for a canine droopy face and he's certainly got one."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "I love him - and he's been a huge help. I mean - and not just to me. He's... helped Jon, he's helped Martin... And I'll probably be needing him even more soon, once whatever Raphael did..." It's a little ridiculous - being anxious about the fact that your anxieties are about to return in full force - but there you have it. "He's a good boy - aren't you Bear?" she asks, her voice growing fond, and gentle, and earning a few firm thuds from the dog's tail. "So... thank you. Again. I really can't say that enough."
    Rubbing at Bear's ears some more she adds, "God, I still can't believe kissing Jon didn't just blow up in my face. I was so sure I'd get told I wasn't his type... Ya know?"

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Watching Cael with Bear was enough of a reward for Sara, poor dog could never touch her own anxiety which is why she always checked her emotions at the door when petting Bear. As Cael mentions Jon and not being his type, she smirks.

"Well of course you'd think that," she states with a chuckle. "He is married to a man after all... but honestly, so many people forget about bisexuality. It's easy to forget the one sexuality that makes it impossible to find a safe place to look and not be accused of ogling."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "Anyways. We should probably both try to get some sleep - we have an early day tomorrow." Cael leans forward to give Bear a tight hug, then holds an arm out for Alis as well, giving her a side hug. Looking to Sara, there's a long silence before she adds, "I do care about you, you know. I can say that much. You're my closest friend."

Sara Pezzini has posed:
Alis returns the hug before she stands up. She doesn't have to sleep, so what she does is wander through the rooms and look at other people sleeping, sometimes they aren't sleeping and she gets a real show, but usually in the Triskelion, it's sleeping.

Sara stands up and offers Cael a nod. "I know Cael," she says before stretching her legs out. "I know you care, you don't have to say it. I have to go check on Johnny, then I'll be back to sleep."

Cael Becker has posed:
    "We make Michael regret messing with us tomorrow," Cael remarks with a brief smile - and more confidence then she really feels. She hesitates a moment, then stands as well - giving Sara a brief hug. She turns away without waiting for a response, calling to Alis, "Would you mind taking Bear out one more time, while I get ready for bed? I appreciate it." Then she disappears into the room she's claimed as her own for the remained of their stay in the Triskelion.