9649/Early Morning Memories

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Early Morning Memories
Date of Scene: 15 January 2022
Location: Carter-Sousa Home - Long Island
Synopsis: Peggy finds the box of letters Daniel sent her, they walk down memory lane before they make themselves a few more memories.
Cast of Characters: Peggy Carter, Daniel Sousa




Peggy Carter has posed:
While a house hasn't been officially bought yet, they are still hunting. Between managing supplies getting into Manhattan, other SHIELD missions, occasionally getting back to Long Island, and being married. Peggy really hasn't stopped since the single night they spent away a week ago. She's in one of those moods where if she stops, she's scared she'll never start again, so she just keeps going. It also helps being into the second trimester now, nesting energy is in full swing without the nausea of the last few months.

For once in a very blue moon, she's up before Daniel. She knows he's had an exhausting week, so she crept out of the bedroom, slipped into a pair of his more warm stolen pajamas, and went into her office to start packing. Most of the house they'd leave, or leave to movers, but there were private documents in her office and things she needed to go through that weren't given to movers. That means, that's where she starts. However, four boxes in, she stumbled across something very important she'd not read in nearly a year -- his letters. Now she's at her desk, one open in front of her, a chaos of half packed boxes all around.

Daniel Sousa has posed:
Daniel barely stirs as Peggy slips out, it's been that kind of week. Flying around getting supplies from SHIELD's various bases around the world and funneling them to the 'front' here in New York. The mutants helped a lot but, given the power of some of the munitions they were bringing in it was figured it was best they remain in SHIELD hands until deployed.

Waking and finding Peggy's side of the bed empty, he blinks in the early morning light, before rising, and throwing on one of his comfy robes before padding barefoot after his wife.

Finding her in her office, he leans against the door frame and smiles. "What's got you out of bed?" he asks glancing at her desk seeing some of the envelopes and recognizing his hand writing, he asks "Are those?"

Peggy Carter has posed:
"I couldn't sleep. I'm glad you could. I thought I'd start...packing this place. God, I need to organize things better. Half the files in here are from the 50s, some of them should STILL be top secret, all of Michael's records are still in here, and then everything from when HYDRA was in charge..." But yes, even with all of that, she's stopped her sorting to sit at her desk and read through his letters. She's been so distracted she hasn't even made her morning tea. They must mean a lot to her.

"And... yes. Your letters. You know, I never got through reading all of them? Most. I think I was almost done, but when they first came," A bittersweet smile flutters across her unpainted lips, he's the only one who ever sees her without make up, "I could only read a few at a time before I'd... I'd cry." Another thing she only does in front of him. "And I'd force myself to stop. I missed you ... so much."

Daniel Sousa has posed:
Crossing the room to stand by Peggy's side, Daniel puts a hand on her shoulder before leaning down to kiss her. Even before she spoke he could tell how important the letters had been. "I hope they helped a little, I was worried it was too much. I just remember how alone you sounded when we talked on the phone and well, this was the only thing I thought I could do at the time to help that." Of course the time travel shenanigans that got him here didn't really seem all that likely at the time, or to be honest even now.

Peggy Carter has posed:
The letter she's reading now is one of the last. From when she was very pregnant with Michael, so there's probably more memories here that are hitting closer to home now than even the regular ones. She pauses long enough to lean up and properly kiss him, shifting sideways in her chair so once the kiss breaks she can lean against his chest and stomach, letter still in hand. "They did... help. They were pieces of you I thought I'd never get back and while it hurt it... it was more than I had before. God, I was... very alone." Peggy admits softly, hardly able to process the person she was back then.

Daniel Sousa has posed:
After the kiss Daniel rests his hand on Peggy's shoulder again as she leans against him."I've tried to imagine what it must have been like, to be alone that long, I can't imagine it," he shakes his head gently. "I'm glad I made it home to you, Peggy and I'm glad these letters helped, wasn't sure if they would or they'd just re-open old wounds, I just hoped it would be the former and not the latter." He brushes his fingers through her hair, "I know, it's not my fault but I'm still sorry I died, or well left you alone, it's never what I wanted for us."

Peggy Carter has posed:
"Both. They... did both. They were probably wounds I needed... opened, honestly." Peg reaches her hand up, grasping his hand gently to pull it across the top of her chest, so he's half hugging her over her collarbones. She keeps her arm on top of his, other hand still holding open the old letter. She can't quite look up to him as she says these things, but she's holding onto his arm firm enough she's not letting him move even an inch away. "I shut down without you. I mean, I worked. I threw myself entirely into work. Convinced myself that was the only point of life. I did my best with Michael but, well... We know how that went. I never looked at another man. Never considered trying to... I don't know. I just shut it all off. Didn't let myself feel. Until these letters. Then I couldn't just... push it all away. I had to realize how alone I was -- how alone I'd let myself be."

Daniel Sousa has posed:
Daniel lets his hand be drawn across her chest and when pulled into that half-hug he gives her a firm squeeze, a quiet assurance that all of that loneliness was behind them. "It hurts to think of you like that Peg, but I understand I don't think I'd be much different in your position. Especially with SHIELD being your brainchild I'd probably figure it was one of the only things I'd have left of you besides Michael." He kisses the top of her head, eyes a little glassy at the thoughts running through his head. "I love you so much, Peg, and as much as it probably hurt I am glad that you never stopped loving me, it's amazing, really. It's hard to wrap my head around how long it's been."

Peggy Carter has posed:
A few moments of silence pass as Peggy finishes reading the letter. Then she gently folds it shut, resting it down on the desk and closing her eyes against their own glassiness. There was no reason to cry this morning. He's right here, right behind her, and that part of her life is firmly done. She brings her second arm up, wrapping both overtop of his as she presses close against him. "In the 80s, when they put me in that cryotube, I almost told them not to. That I was done. Ready to give up. I was so tired and so alone. Michael hadn't talked to me for years and I didn't even call him to say goodbye. I didn't think he'd care. You were gone. I... I was ready to join you." Peggy's never been someone to simply lay down and die, but now she admits this. Softly. "I don't know why I... didn't. I think I didn't want to disappoint them, and there was no way it would work. But then I woke up and... everything had changed. And you were still gone. I was half out of my head. Some days I... this doesn't feel real. I still don't believe it's... Real."

Daniel Sousa has posed:
Daniel leans down again placing kisses against the top of her head, as if he could banish those dark times with them. "I'm glad it worked Peg, but I understand, I don't know where I'd be by that point, and like you said back in your office when May was with us, nearly a hundred years is a long time to be doing any job," he says gently words murmured into her hair. "I know what that part is like at least," he says of waking up in a totally different world. "And not believing it's real. I get that too. The long stretches of disbelief where you just sort of move on with things and try to believe anyhow that yes, this is somehow real, that things did work out, and then those moments of sheer panic where you wonder if this isn't another simulation or I really did die and this what my brain dreamed up in its last moments to ease me into things."

Peggy Carter has posed:
"This is a... whole lot of last moments, if our brains are playing tricks on us. And it's not a simulation. It's... *not*. We got through that." Peggy squeezes his arms tightly before forcing herself to gently let go. She turns in the chair, letting his arm gently pull across the back of her shoulders so she can finally face him. In this chair, wearing his old flannel pajamas, back in their house, it almost looks like they are back in the 50s. They could have had an identical morning to this when she was pregnant the first time around.

"It's real. This is real. Promise me it is. That... I'm not just going to wake up and have nothing but these letters because hell, Daniel, I... I don't think I could handle that. It'd be the thing that breaks me. For good. All of this is real."

Daniel Sousa has posed:
"And I doubt any of us would dream up angels attacking New York either," Daniel adds to the reasons this wasn't a long last minute dream. He looks down to meet her eyes, smiling faintly at how familiar the scene is, how much it could be in their past as well as their present. His expression becomes more serious as she asks for confirmation that this is real. "It's real Peggy," he promises with his dark eyes fixed on hers, "We're really here, Peg, alive and well, no fated death hanging over our heads, our family about to get a little bigger and the whole future left in front of us to explore. I still really don't know how we managed to pull all this off but you know what, I'll take it, I think after everything we've been through we deserve it, don't you?"

Peggy Carter has posed:
Her eyes are still glassy and a bit red from the tears that came which she wouldn't let herself cry. Peggy stares up at him, listening to those reassurances. She reaches for his hands, tugging them both into her lap, her fingertips wrapping tight around his as she hugs his hands against her stomach. "Real. This is all... Real." She reaffirms, finally sounding like she might believe it.

She gives him a faint smile then, "God, I'm sorry. This is a... miserable way to start a morning. And I love the letters. Every last one. It... It's a way to remember better times. Sometimes I miss those days too. It was exhausting, starting everything, navigating that world. But... exciting too."

Daniel Sousa has posed:
Daniel lets his hands be led and echoes, "It's real Peg," he says. "We get to have this wild and crazy life of ours and nobody's going to take it away from us again," he promises, even knowing none of them really have control of that; though, by god he'll try.

Daniel smiles warm and gentle. "I dunno, we get to remember how much we love each other and how lucky we are to have each other, it seems like a good morning to me," he says with earnest good humour. "And those were great times weren't they?" he says. "It was tough going but we had great people and with all the fighting we did to make SHIELD's place in the world, it made everyone closer for it. I love the people in this time but none of them are ever going to replace Rose, Lily, Howard, Jarvis or even Phillips. We were lucky then too."

Peggy Carter has posed:
A slow shake of her head comes in turn to him, as he tells her how good a morning it is. She's smiling while she does it, though. The pad of Peggy's thumb brushes back and forth against the outside of his hands. "How in the world do you always know the right things to say? Even while I'm sitting here being maudlin and half out of my mind. God. I love you. None of this... *None* would have been possible without you. You know that, right? SHIELD is what it is because YOU got me through those times. Though the beginning. I mean, they all did. Yes. I miss them every god damn day. But you kept me going."

And then her eyes flicker around the room, realizing quite the mess she's left in her office. "And I need to figure out what parts of it all can stay here, and which comes with us to the new house. And we need to decide on the new house. Or I'll be half packing until I can't bend over any more."

Daniel Sousa has posed:
"It's my superpower," Daniel deadpans before a smile curls his lips and a mischievious twinkle comes to his eyes. "Honestly no clue, just speaking from my heart, which I guess is what you need to hear." A fuller smile follows. "Love you too Peg and I know, it's one of the things I'm proudest of, helping you keep going, it also helped it came with the bonus of being at your side all the time, which was pretty nice too I gotta say," he chuckles softly.

"Well we can definitely make room for the letters," he says, "Though looking at them all I didn't expect them to take up *quite* that much space when I was writing them one per week." It's definitely a sorr, not sorry, moment. "And you're right, we should figure this stuff out sooner rather than later, feel like digging into it with me today, we can put some records on, dig through our junk and likely take a few dozen strolls down memory lane while we're at it."

Peggy Carter has posed:
"Mm... now that sounds like a lovely morning, yes. Though, tea first. And perhaps breakfast. Unless the office calls, we have utterly no where to be and this office will keep for a little while longer." Peggy squeezes his hands once more and then uses them to help herself stand up. She still looks a bit of a mess, not having pin curled her hair last night and in no make up, but she has that soft glow to her which balances things well enough. Especially in his pajamas.

"I'd offer to cook but, well... Since you are awake now, and I don't know that we feel like smoking out the kitchen this morning... Perhaps french toast? And I'll make the tea. I'll even make your coffee." She grins wide, leaning in to steal a long, proper kiss now that they are both standing on the same level.

Daniel Sousa has posed:
"Shhh, don't jinx us,"Daniel says laughing at the mention of the office. Despite the hair in dissary and the lack of make up, Daniel finds himself staring at Peggy, very much in love. "You look good in my pajamas, Peg,"he remarks before giving the idea of breakfast a nod. "French toast is doable," he confirms before he abetts the stealing of the kiss leaning into it and wrapping his arms firmly around his wife as if to assure her one more time he was here, this was real, this was their life.

Peggy Carter has posed:
"They are more comfortable than mine. All the night gowns are too cold and the pants I have... " She looks down at her still fairly flat looking stomach, "Did things stop fitting this early last time? Or have I just let myself go? I swear it didn't happen this fast last time. Anyway. Your pants are more comfortable than mine so I suspect I will be stealing these for a while. Besides... A handsome man told me I look good in them." She grins wider to him, not quite leaving the office yet. She wraps her arms firmly around the back of his neck, leaning fully against him as she lingers in his arms. "A very...distracting, handsome man."

Daniel Sousa has posed:
"I can't remember, I think I blocked all that out for my own safety," Daniel teases. "But trust me you're really not letting yourself go, you're just as busy as you were back the first time, and missing as many meals too," there's a teasing twinkle in his eye as he says that.

Speaking of missing meals, it seems breakfast is going to have to wait. "Oh? Do I know him?" Daniel prods lightly before pressing a kiss to Peggy's jaw and then another to her throat.

Peggy Carter has posed:
"Oh goodness... Now you really are being trouble, handsome man. And I think you and he are very, very well acquainted. He was going to cook me breakfast, even... But it seems meals have been delayed." Peggy's voice is a little more husky now, the temptation of his lips clearly having had their intended affect. She gently grabs his collar, starting to walk backwards out of the room without fully letting him go. In fact, she places a few other kisses against his jaw.

Daniel Sousa has posed:
Daniel grins, "Sounds like a heck of a guy," he remarks before he is led backwards out of the room. "But I think by the time we get around to breakfast, we'll have definitely worked up an apetite," he says as his backwards steps take them out of the office and through the door of their bedroom.