Owner Pose
Jonathan Sims     It's 3am when Jon jerks awake out of a dream that leaves him sweaty and shaky, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling of Cael's bedroom in her Brooklyn apartment. Far too early to be properly awake even if they were still trying for 7am training slots. For a few moments he just lies there with wide eyes, trying to remember where he is and what's going on.

    There's room enough in the bed for Jon to turn over onto his side, facing away from Cael, and curl up as he tries to calm down. Deep breaths, slowly, in and out, and ignore the way it makes him shudder. If Bear wasn't asleep he'd surely already be trying to calm the man down from what is /definitely/ a panic attack. If he can somehow get through it without waking his girlfriend or her dog, he'll call it a miracle and be grateful. But it's not likely.
Cael Becker     Cael doesn't have a long history of sharing a bed with others - so yes, managing to get through his dream-induced panic without waking her is a near impossibility - considering she starts blinking in sleepy, not-fully-conscious confusion as he jerks awake. She's just starting to doze off again as he adds 'and then he turns over' to the sensations nudging her towards consciousness. She ponders over this for a moment, her thinking slowed by heavy cobwebs. He just... turned away from her?
    "Jon?" she mumbles sleepily, one arm reaching over to pat at his form awkwardly.
Jonathan Sims     Jon flinches at the touch on his back, curling up a bit more. He squeezes his eyes shut, reminding himself that that's Cael, and she's worried, and he doesn't need to flinch away from her the way he has been with literally everyone else except Martin.

    "Bad dream," he mumbles, voice thick with sleep and sniffles. "It's... don't worry, just go back to sleep." He can't say 'it's fine,' because it isn't fine, and he can't even manage white lies these days.
Cael Becker     "Dreams can go fuck right off," Cael mutters sleepily. Plagued by bad dreams of her own, it may not be the most profound sentiment - but it's heartfelt. She turns so she's facing towards Jon, still only half awake. "Come'ere," she mumbles. "'ll sing for you this time," she suggest. The first three words come out as a yawn as she tries to sing, "No more talk- of darkness..."
Jonathan Sims     Jon can't help but laugh at the way Cael tries to yawn her way through the first lines of 'All I Ask Of You.' He manages to turn over and peer at her, eyes glinting oddly in the darkness. He's half-reaching for the Ma'at transformation without really consciously being aware of doing so, and mostly stopping himself so he doesn't sprout wings in the bed. And he's still holding himself away from Cael, curled in on himself.

    "I'm afraid of going back to sleep," he admits quietly. "I can... I can just lie here, it's okay. I just..." He frowns, trying to figure out how to explain without worrying Cael any further.
Cael Becker     "Been there, too," Cael admits, slowly growing more and more awake. It's at about this point that the talking seems to have roused Bear - because a large, white head appears resting on the edge of the bed, floppy ears cocked upwards at the pair. Jon is in //Bear's spot// - but at least the pup is good natured about it.
    "But last I heard meth was still illegal, so you'll have to sleep at some point." She lets out another yawn. "You wanna watch another episode of Elementary before we try to sleep some more?" she suggests. "Or you rather have the StarkTech thing play us some music for a bit?"
    She tries to gently take hold of Jon's hand as she adds, "Or we can talk. Whichever."
Jonathan Sims     Jon actually jerks his hand away from Cael's, gasping as panic rises, and then closes his eyes for a moment. "I... should probably talk about it. I just didn't want to worry you." His voice comes out strained and shaky.

    "It's Michael," he says as he opens his eyes again. "He was in my dreams again. It... it was..." He stops, and flexes his hand for a moment, before balling it into a fist and tucking it in close to his chest. "It was /awful/," he finally manages in a whisper.
Cael Becker     It's Jon jerking his hand away like he'd just touched the stove that has Cael waking up properly. He's never done that to her. //Never//. "Jon?" she murmurs softly, her concern evident as she fights against the urge to wrap him up in her arms.
    Obviously, that inclination won't work right now - so she forces herself to scoot back, closer to the edge of the bed where Bear is still watching the pair.
    And then he says her least favorite name, and she can feel her form stiffen. He'd tortured both of them. He'd killed Jon. Why can't he leave them alone? What was his fucking //damage//? And would killing him //reeeeeeeally// destroy all of reality? "What did he do?" is all she says, however - trying for a gentle tone.
Jonathan Sims     "He... he's furious about me rejecting his offer to join him," Jon says, the words jerky and tone wavering. "He did the same thing he did last week, made me think everyone had died in the battle with the dragon... but this time he... was /not/ kind. Making me see the... consequences of /not/ agreeing to what he's offering, I suppose."

    The whole time he speaks, he's looking at Cael, but he's not looking /at/ her, more /through/ her. His tone is hollow, somehow, eyes distant, and he shakes a little.

    "Th-the worst part is, in those moments when... when I think that everyone's dead, I... I /do/ want to take up his offer. Watching my friends die, watching /you/ die, it... it breaks me. And I'm terrified he's going to... resort to that, try to... to hurt someone else, to get me to..."

    How it's possible for a man over six feet tall to curl up into /quite/ such a small ball is hard to say, but when Jon pulls his legs in and puts his face to his knees he hardly takes up any space in the bed at all. "Am I bleeding? My back, I mean, am I... in the dream, the scars opened up again, and..." He shakes his head. "N-no, that's... that's ridiculous, Jon, it wasn't /real/. It wasn't."
Cael Becker     "Oh for- Fuck him, Jon. //Fuck him,//" Cael says fervently. It shouldn't be possible for a voice to convey so much anger, and so much concern at the same time - but she somehow pulls it off. "I'm here, love. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. Ay, Mariposa... please. I'm right here - I'm okay." As okay as she can be.
    She lifts herself up on one arm, trying to get a look at Jon's back, then lets one hand reach out towards Jon - slowly, by miniscule amounts. She stops short of touching him - and simply holds her hand there - open, waiting, inviting. "I don't see any blood."
Jonathan Sims     "W-what if... what if he tricks me, or... what if... what if he goes after Martin or Agnes..." Jon's shaking, still staring at nothing. "I have to figure out how to... to ward wherever I sleep. Keep him out. Have to... beef up my mental wards. I can't... can't risk..."

    He finally manages to make himself reach out and grab Cael's hand, focuses on her face with wide eyes. "I have to keep you safe. All of you. I can't... m-maybe I should go into the Astral alone next time?" He frowns, shakes his head. "No, no, that's... that'd just mean he gets me on my own..." He's babbling, more panicked than Cael's ever seen him.
Cael Becker     "You go nowhere with out me - because I have your back. And you've got mine," Cael reminds Jon, squeezing his hand, and meeting his eyes. "And neither of us are letting anything happen to Martin, or Agnes. Remember how you saved me? You found me. I know you will always come for me. Just like we'll do the same for Martin, and for Agnes. We're stronger together - all of us. Yeah? So don't you dare pull away from me. Besides - I'm fairly certain that's my job in this relationship, hrm?" she remarks, attempting to inject some sort of levity into the situation.
Jonathan Sims     "I'm not strong enough for this. I'm not. I know you keep joking about... about 'His Great Godliness' but... but I'm not... that was... it's different if it's me. If he just tortured me, if he j-just threatened to kill /me/, I don't care, but... but I can't..." Jon stares at Cael, squeezing her hand so tightly it might actually hurt.

    "I'm not strong enough," he repeats. "Why did they choose /me/ of all people? I'm so... I'm so /weak/. I need to... to get stronger." Now /there's/ an odd thing for Jon of all people to say. Odd enough that his eyes flash teal for a moment and he squeezes his eyes shut.

    "Hold me, please?" he whispers. "Make him go away."
Cael Becker     "You are not weak, Jonathan Sims," Cael contradicts him. "You aren't."
    As he asks her to hold him, she tries to slowly and gently pull him into her arms, attentive to how he reacts to her movements. "You remember how I was before? Afraid of connection. Afraid to care, to love. Locking myself away, to protect myself. //Isolating// myself. That isn't strength. We're stronger together. Sure, it's scary sometimes. Sure, it feels like a weakness. But our love gives us strength. Yeah?"
    She runs her fingers through his hair - so long as he doesn't flinch away - wish there was a way to drive away his fears. "I know you're scared. No one should have to endure all this... But we're going to be okay. We have a ski trip to go on. Yeah? And a trip to Quito?"
    It's easier to sing now, even if it's only a snippet. "Wonders await you, just on the other side. Trust they'll be there, and start to prepare the way for tomorrow..."
Jonathan Sims     Jon tenses at Cael's touch, but forces himself not to flinch away. The contact helps, the fingers in his hair help, and he slowly relaxes, forcing himself to listen to Cael's words and not the fears and doubts running through his mind. He cries, silently, listening to her, letting the tension unravel.

    "He's preying on all my anxieties," he finally says, softly. "Telling me we can make the world better, together. That I can /matter/. That I can... /belong/. But only after he's taken away the people that do that for me already. And of c-course that's... part of the lure, you know? I could bring you back. I could /fix/ it, make it so I'll never lose any of the people I care about."

    He reaches up his hand to clutch at Cael's shirt, clinging to it like a lifeline. "He's getting to me, and I don't know what to do about it. Just... just don't let me push you away. Please." He shakes his head. "Gods, I never should have... but I wouldn't have the chance to convince him if I'd left him as he was. I just hate that now he's using my tactics against me."
Cael Becker     "You do belong. You do matter. You matter a great deal," Cael promises Jon, holding him to her with one arm, while her other hand still gently brushes through his hair. "And I do believe we're already making the world a better place. Plus, I'm afraid you're quite stuck with me, Jonathan 'His Royal Godliness' Sims. You're not getting rid of me."
    It hurts to see Jon so frightened, and so abused by a fucking ancient //child// who simply refuses to let go of his favorite toy even as he wears it to tatters. It hurts to be so powerless to stop it.
    "So how do we protect your sleep?" she asks. "Can Lydia ward you? Should... do we need to ask one of the other Archangels for help? //Could// they even help?"
Jonathan Sims     Jon swallows, and then laughs. "You know, I hadn't even thought of asking another archangel for help?" He sighs. "You wouldn't like the first place I'd go for that, Cael. Uriel is the one I'd ask for help first. I know you don't like him, but he cares about me. He's crafty enough to let me know if there's some reason none of them can help, and he'll point me to whoever I need to talk to if they /can/."

    He frowns. "I... don't know if there /is/ a way to..." He flexes his hand, frowning down at it. Why doesn't he just /tell/ her about the jewel he picked up? It's safely tucked away in the Archive now, behind WAND wards and his own spells. That can't be what's doing this, right?

    He sighs. "It's worth trying. I... I don't know if we should worry anyone else with... I mean, we /could/ go to Lydia, I just..."
Cael Becker     "I know," Cael answers quietly. "I knew that's who you'd go to." She squeezes Jon a little tighter, her expression shuttering for several long moments as she forces down her own anger and hatred of the angel. This is not the time for it. It's really, really not.
    "If that's who you need, then- ...the important thing is that you're safe. And that you can sleep. You can't think clearly without sleep. You can't... you won't have as much strength to resist this asshole... without sleep." Leaning down, she kisses him on the top of his head before adding, "And whatever you need from me - you've got it. If it would help to be sandwiched between me and Martin every night... Then that's what we do. Tell me how I can help, and I'll do it."
Jonathan Sims     "Martin /does/ know how to deal with this," Jon admits. "I... I used to get like this... a lot. Not... not as much anymore. But it... well, for a while it was worse." A pause. "There was a while when I /did/ push everyone away. I was... paranoid, jumpy. I thought everyone was trying to kill me. Even Martin." He laughs, shakily. "You're handling it pretty well, I just... figure maybe it'd be good to have... help?"

    He stares at Cael for a long moment, then says, "Why me? She said it was because I stood up to him, back at the first crime scene. Wouldn't anyone? Why /me/? Why... why are these cosmic beings looking to /me/? Why is Michael messing with /me/?!"
Cael Becker     "Well. All I'm doing is keeping in mind that... forcing yourself on someone when they're pulling away seems unlikely to help. You know? It has to be your choice. But that doesn't mean I'm going anywhere, no matter how bad this gets."
    She buries her fingers in Jon's hair now - slowly massaging them in small circles against his scalp. "I wish I had answers for that. I wish I could carry more of the load for you." She's silent for a few moments before asking, "So... do you want Martin and I together with you while you sleep? Or do you think you'd do better with just Martin? It's alright if that's- I mean, I've got Bear, so I'll be alright if you think Martin would do better at this. If both of us would be too much.
    "Does Martin know about Michael getting into your dreams?"
Jonathan Sims     The fingers on his scalp gets Jon to relax more, slowly uncurling out of the ball he'd wrapped himself into. "He doesn't know," he admits. "I didn't want to worry him. I know I should... I /know/ I should say something, I just... can't seem to. I c-can't even fathom... telling him /now/."

    He sighs. "I'd like you both. I'd /always/ like you both. But I know you need your space, I understand that, even in the 'perfect' world you were like that, so I've been trying to... y'know, you're... you're like a bird, give you space to fly free and trust you'll come back." He laughs. "I'm the... clingy one. More of a... cat. Seems indifferent, but then once it's in your lap it just /won't move/."
Cael Becker     "Jon, if you need me right now - then I'm there for you," Cael says firmly, and without hesitation. "If I need a night on my own, if I need some time and some space - I'll let you know. But until we know this is over, until we know you're safe..." She lets out a sigh. "Family, right?" The arm wrapped around him squeezes a little tighter. Even now, it was a little difficult for her to say those words.
    "...family."
Jonathan Sims     Jon starts sobbing again at 'family' and reaches out to pull Cael closer, clinging to her. "I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, and I /can't stop/ thinking about him. He killed me. He /killed/ me! I can't..." He can't get over that. How do someone get /over/ that? How does he move past the memory that keeps flashing before his eyes, that moment when Michael thrust a sword through his chest and then /twisted/?

    "I came back for my family, and my friends, and all I can think about is that /asshole/. I want to hurt him, I want to /kill/ him, I... want him to apologize, I... fuck, Cael, I can't /think/ straight." He buries his face in her shoulder, still sobbing.

    "Stay with me," he manages. "Just stay with me, and remind me why I can never, /ever/ listen to him."
Cael Becker     "I know..." Cael murmurs quietly. "I know. I saw." She feels the ache of that memory - the panic, and pain, and helplessness threaten to overwhelm her, and she clings to Jon in return. "You know I hate him, too. He doesn't get you. He doesn't get to have you. You belong to //me,// Jon. Me, and Martin, and Agnes. You're ours, and he can't have you."
    She frees one hand, just long enough to wipe at her eyes before returns it to the back of Jon's head, holding him to her shoulder. "Of course I'll stay. I'll put in for leave and stay with you, if that's what it takes."
Jonathan Sims     Jon laughs bitterly. "I belong to Ma'at and Gaea, too. I'm so afraid..."

    He frowns. "Cael... what if I can't stay /human/? Normal, mortal? I want to. I want to stay with you and Martin and Agnes. But I only came back because I merged with a /god/. Not that I think /she/ minds sharing, I just..."

    He sniffles. "Can you... can you massage my scalp again? That... that helped." And he's worried about staying human? Maybe he's always been a cat.
Cael Becker     "What was it you asked me before? If I'd still love you if you sprouted... claws, or scales, or eyes, or whatever?" Cael's fingers begin gently massaging at Jon's scalp again, as she continues to cradle the man to her. "You're mine. And if Ma'at, or Gaea try to take you from us... Then I'll fuckin' come at 'em. You're not going anywhere. Okay? You know how stubborn I am. Wherever you go... we go together."
Jonathan Sims     Jon sniffles. "I don't think they'll try that. I think they both want me to have a... a life, or they wouldn't have encouraged me to come back." He closes his eyes, and lets himself relax further, sinking into the bed.

    "I trust you," he murmurs. "More than I trust Michael, anyway. And if... if I ever say I don't... then it's not me, okay?" He opens his eyes to peer at Cael. "Just in case... just in case he gets to me. If I pull away, if I... say I don't trust you... then you /know/ something's wrong."
Cael Becker     I trust you more than Michael. That such a thing was even worthy of a comparison - there's a brief stab of pain, but she pushes it away.
    That's not what he meant. She knows it.
    "I know," Cael answers calmly. "You trust me, just like I trust you. I know that. Even though I've hurt you. Even though I tried time and again to pull away... Somehow you got in past my shell. Hrm? Can't happen without trust."
    Leaning down, she kisses Jon's lips gently, giving a smile as she adds, "I know you, Jon. I'd like to think I'd know if there were something wrong."
Jonathan Sims     Jon nods. "Of course," he murmurs. "Of course. I just want to be sure. I remember..." He frowns at her. "I remember the way you looked at me, when we came for you. When he had you. You knew me, you were /you/, but you were... he got into your head. What could he do, if he can get at me? I don't want to hurt anyone."

    He sighs, and leans up to return the kiss Cael gave him. "We should try to sleep. You're right... if I'm exhausted that'll just make his work easier."
Cael Becker     Cael's arms tighten reflexively at the memory of what Michael had done to her - had made her do - when he was in her head. It's something she tries not to think on too often. "I still- I know you don't blame me, but I'm still so, so sorry for hurting you. And so, so grateful that you came." She takes a deep breath in - and lets it out slowly before she adds, "We should. In the morning... I'll pack up some things, so I can move back to the Triskelion for now. As long as you need me. But for now..." She shifts to get herself back into position on her pillow - all without letting go of Jon. It seems like she has every intention of sleeping that way.