Owner	Pose
Cael Becker	Cael seems to pay very little attention to the others, as they come, and go, and explore the new base of operations they had been gifted. Instead, she only seems to be aware of two things - the bottle of whiskey in front of her, and Jon at her side. She keeps in physical contact with him constantly, her stool close to his, her shoulder pressed against his arm as she makes her way through her second glass of whiskey - which is already almost empty.     Just how many does she plan on finishing off?
Jonathan Sims	Jon took the keys from Rien as she offered them, handed one off to Cael, and now turns the other over and over in his hand. He's nursing his own glass of whiskey, having taken no more than a sip, as he's mostly been frowning at the key.     "This means something, and I don't know what," he murmurs after a little while. He sounds vaguely irritated. "I'm going to have to ask Chas about the prior owner of this place. Maybe we can track them down and find out what it means."     He glances over at Cael. "So... is the Astral booze doing the trick, then?" His voice is light, but not /too/ light. He's having a hard time gauging her mood. Does she just need a drink or two, or has this undone all the work she's put in over the past months?
Cael Becker	"It's helping," Cael answers in a quiet voice. For her part - she's not sure what to say either. How to express the roiling emotions in her, and not sure she //can// without being overwhelmed by the memories she can still feel pressing on her mind, threatening to flood her awareness. She lifts her whiskey again, taking in the scent of the liquor, letting that fill her mind instead, before she takes another sip.     The past can't hurt her. She's safe with Jon.     "I really didn't mean to melt down like that..."
Jonathan Sims	"Hey, it's okay." Jon pockets the key and focuses his attention more firmly on Cael, brows furrowing slightly. "/Really/. You can't entirely control when something like that is going to happen. Trust me, I... I know something about memory overwhelming you. It can be hard to shake those flashbacks."     He frowns at her. "Has Caldwell taught you grounding exercises and that sort of thing? It... I find it helps me, to bring myself back to the present. Well, like you're doing there, with the whiskey."
Cael Becker	Cael nods her head in confirmation. "Breathing and- and just being aware of where I am. Smells. Tastes. Feeling things... like you." She presses tighter against him for a moment as she says that. "Or Bear. That's mostly what I try to do... When it happens. But if you've got other things I can try..." She's all ears.     "I'll be honest. If it happened without you there, or Bear, it'd be- it'd be pretty hard."
Jonathan Sims	Jon sighs and leans over to wrap his arm around Cael. "I mean, there are all sorts of things that can help with PTSD, but... I'm not your therapist anymore. I don't know whether exposure therapy or EMDR is appropriate... art therapy almost always is, at least as a sort of... umm... assistant to other therapies, if it's not central."     A pause, and then, "I mean, being done with this will help. You're still /in it/, you know? You haven't had a chance to... to /stop/ and process. Neither have I, really. That'll count for a lot, I think."
Cael Becker	"You're not my therapist anymore," Cael agrees. "But that doesn't mean you can't offer suggestions, or advice." Some humor has begun to return to her voice at least, as she's amused by Jon's response. She's grateful for the arm around her as she adds, "I'm looking forward to all of this being over. We both need that vacation - badly. And I know I'm going to be alright, I just- I worry about something like that happening when it's a more, uhh... dangerous mission. You know?" She glances towards Jon's features for a moment, then takes another sip of the whiskey.
Jonathan Sims	"I know. I mean... maybe in official terms, make sure people know before you go out on a mission? I know about it, of course, but others..." Jon chews on their lip, frowning, thoughtful.     "Cael," they say slowly, "Do you... do you think it will be best for you to come and face Michael? I mean," they add hastily, "I think it will be. I do. I think you should face him again, now that he might... admit that he was wrong. Admit that he hurt you. But if you don't think you need that..."     They frown. "Don't think you have to keep coming and doing these things because you're... obligated. If you come to Heaven with us, I'd want it to be because you need to and want to, for yourself."
Cael Becker	There's a long silence from Cael, as she stares down at her whiskey - tears slowly forming in her eyes, and then beginning to trickle down her cheeks, one at a time. After a while she finally breathes, "I do want him to apologize. To admit that he was wrong. That- that I didn't deserve that. That I- That I do more good for this world alive. I don't honestly believe it'll ever happen, though. Do you?"
Jonathan Sims	Jon hesitates for a moment. "It might," he says slowly. "I can't say for sure, but it /might/. If he... if he's willing to give up his power, that means he might just be willing to admit he was wrong. About everything. About you."     They look down at Cael. "I won't take away the chance for you to have that apology. If I have to carry you the whole way I'll give you the chance. But... it /is/ a chance. Can you face it, if you go up there and he refuses to admit his fault? I think you can. I do. But... but I..."     They sigh, finally, and look away. "I think I just feel guilty. I encouraged you to become a full member of the Justice League Dark, and then our new base traumatizes you. I... I just... I want to... hold him down until he apologizes. Hold his arms while you hit him with another chair. Whatever you need to... to move forward."
Cael Becker	"I'll find my way forward, Jon," Cael promises. "I always do. Though- I won't say no to hitting him with a chair again. I... //really// hate him." There's some amusement in her voice, before she sobers again. "I didn't expect- what happened back there to hit me like- ...that." She chooses her words carefully, obviously wary that saying too much, that thinking on it too hard, will threaten to overwhelm her again - though she seems alright.     "What must they think of me?" she asks with a sigh. Why would they ever expect her to have their back, after a performance like //that//?
Jonathan Sims	"That you experienced something awful," Jon says softly. "That that room reminded you of that experience, and it hurt you, but you got up and moved forward anyway, even if it was with help."     They smile down at her. "And if they think something else, feel free to set them straight. Or ask me to. I mean..." They laugh, ruefully. "The leaders of the JLD had to step away too. Phoebe needed a moment and I--I needed to help you." Not what they were going to say at first, but best not to press the issue.     "But! If I'm worrying over nothing, then... I'm worrying over nothing. What do you think of the place, besides the obvious?"
Cael Becker	"It feels weak," Cael murmurs softly. "//I// feel weak. Breaking, like that... during a mission. Feeling so- so out of my own control." She takes a deep breath in, letting it out slowly - and then follows this up with a heavy swallow from her glass.     Perhaps it was no surprise, given her past, that showing such weakness wasn't an easy thing for her.     "I, uhh... I don't know," she admits, finally bothering to look around the room - her gaze fixing on the incessant piano. "...can we reduce the damned piano to kindling? And- if I'm being honest, I really don't feel like exploring right now. But I mean- ...there's books. You should feel right at home," she teases.
Jonathan Sims	Jon pulls away from Cael and grasps her shoulders with both hands--the real one and the magical one. He fixes her with a firm gaze. "Cael Victoria Mariposa Becker," he says, face completely deadpan, "You are /not/ weak. You went through an horrific experience that would break just about anyone, and you still get up in the morning and go to work. You are still fighting. You are here, now, with me. Flashbacks do not make you weak. Losing control does not make you weak. It makes you /vulnerable/, but it doesn't make you weak. It makes you /normal/. And what'd you say to me the other day, about healing at a normal rate? How it's not a weakness?" He smiles at her.     They glance around, then. "As for the piano... I rather like it, if we can get it to stop playing, or play more than the one song. No need to explore just yet, no. I think we want a team for that."
Cael Becker	There's momentary surprise in Cael's features as Jon takes her by both shoulders - followed by a breathy laugh at the name he calls her.     It seems turn-about is fair play.     "Alright, alright!" she replies. "I surrender. Though... I can't promise I won't need a few more reminders, from time to time. You know?" She offers a small smile in response, before leaning in for a gentle kiss, which ends with her forehead resting against theirs. "Thank you, Mariposa," she murmurs.
Jonathan Sims	Jon's face breaks into a grin at the laugh. Cael might have noticed how much time they spend just trying to get people to laugh--trying out jokes on Agnes, brow furrowing when one falls flat, switching up to try something else. Not in a foolish, clowning sort of way, but they clearly make an effort with the people they care about. The laugh eases a tension Jon didn't seem to know they had, and they lean in to return the kiss and then rest their forehead against Cael's.     "You're welcome," they murmur. "Now the question is, do you want to stay here with the free bar, or go find somewhere that we have to pay, but doesn't have this /bloody/ song playing?" A frown. "I really do feel like I should know the song. It's reminiscent of Debussy, but... mmmm, no."
Cael Becker	"Oh, God, I'm happy to escape this fucking song," Cael replies with another laugh. "But- doesn't have to be a bar. We could-" She does not want to face up Agnes and Martin, not tonight. Not in this mood. "We could just go to my apartment. I've got a couple bottles of whiskey." Now that she's been able to ease off her medications, for the most part. "Or we could stop and grab something at a liquor store." There's a brief silence before she adds more softly, "Just don't leave me. Not tonight." Not that she thought he would but- ...sometimes it was important to say what it was you needed. Right?
Jonathan Sims	"I won't, love. Not tonight. Not ever, but especially not tonight." Jon smiles down at her. Martin will understand, he's sure. "Want to pick something up along the way? Noodles?" When does Cael /ever/ say no to noodles? Never, that's when.     He sighs. "...I'm going to be trying to write out the sheet music for this bloody song the moment I get home. I just /know/ it. Ugggh."
Cael Becker	"You can leave me sometime, Jon. Just... not tonight."     Reaching for her whiskey, she downs the rest of the glass abruptly, and then climbs to her feet - swaying just slightly. From the suddeness with which she stood, surely, and not the rapidity with which she'd downed two generous pours of whiskey.     "The spicier the better," she says - in response to the offer of noodles. "...can we get home //that// way?" she asks, nodding to the door which still showed the stairway to heaven. Apparently //it// was preferable than going back past that damnable pit.
Jonathan Sims	"Oh, certainly," Jon says. They pull away from the bar and gesture toward the door with a kind of florid bow only slightly marred by their wings bobbing slightly. "After you, m'lady." They smirk at Cael. Now they're just teasing.     "We'll find the spiciest noodles in New York, just as soon as we're back in the physical world and I can look it up on my phone," he adds.
Cael Becker	"'s not fair, I can't m'lord you," Cael counters, taking Jon by the hand and hurried retreating from the room.     For all she'd said she thought the place was fine, it's plain enough that when offered with the chance to retreat from there - she's more than eager to jump at the opportunity. She wants out.
Jonathan Sims	They leave the castle, and leave the Astral--after Jon stops for a moment to stare up the staircase and murmur something under his breath--and grab the spiciest noodles they can find. Then it's back to Cael's apartment, and Jon manages to only get /slightly/ distracted trying to look up the song, bursting out at one point, "Why can't there be a... a /search engine/ for songs you can't remember the name of! Someone should get on that."     They didn't have their wings out long enough to simply drop off to sleep the moment they de-transform, but they'll need an extra hour or so of sleep that night. A fact which they'll breach later. For now, there are noodles to be eating and whiskey to be drunk.
Cael Becker	Bear is all over Cael the moment they step through the door - the dog, as always, very attentive to her moods, and to his duty. This prompts Cael to head over to the couch, to let the pup climb up into her lap like the oversized lap dog he is, while she buries her face in his fur for a moment. "Who's a good dog?" she murmurs.     "How would you look uup songs?" she asks in puzzlement, before turning her attention to opening her noodles, and digging into them. That was doubtlessly why the whiskey had hit her as hard as it had - there hadn't been much in her stomach. She gets about half the container into her, before she turns her attention back to the idea of alcohol - pouring herself some more whiskey, and having another drink.     "We could put on a movie tonight," she suggests suddenly. "Is there anything you've been wanting to watch?"
Jonathan Sims	"Hum them? Put in the notes? I mean... I mean, I will literally /never/ forget the song, I could transcribe it note by note if I had to, but... ugh, I don't know. It's just... I mean... I /remember/ everything, I should remember if I know the name of the song, and I don't, but I feel like I should..." Jon throws his hands in the air finally. "Augh! I'll figure it out. Eventually."     They settle down on the couch beside Cael with their noodles and a whiskey glass--they ordered the same thing as she did, for once, maybe in solidarity. The spice doesn't seem to bother them in the slightest. "Umm... not offhand? We could put on Rogers: the Musical if you liked." They say it with a straight face, but a twinkle in their eye. They know what Cael thinks of /that/ business.
Cael Becker	"Oh my //God// Jon, you are the WORST!" Cael protests - but there's a smile on her lips from the friendly ribbing. Even if she is a bit annoyed that her (admittedly weak) attempt to keep Jon up late hadn't worked immediately.     "Well. Maybe a video game, then?" she says instead. "If I get enough whiskey in me first, you'll finally trounce me," she points out with a brief grin, taking another drink from her whiskey, before digging back into her noodles. "No, Bear. It's too spicy for you," she mumbles between bites, as the pup keeps giving Cael's bowl hopeful looks.
Jonathan Sims	"No, I would not, because I'm /shit/ at video games and you know it, Cael." Jon grins at her. "All that... button pressing in rapid succession... maybe if there were a game that was more, umm... less... twitch-reflex dependent?" For a guy who doesn't play video games he's at least learning the terminology. "But all these two player games, they're... fighty or jumpy. I've been considering trying one of the longer ones? Agnes has been playing these RPGs, and I /do/ like a good RPG. But I know absolutely nothing about them."     He eyes Cael for a moment, then sighs. "...Fine," they say. "A round or two on one of those fighting games. But you know I'm going to need extra sleep to offset the transformation."
Cael Becker	For just a moment, Cael looks stricken by this reminder, before she turns back to her noodles, taking a large bite as if that would help her cover for the reaction.     If Jon's own senses weren't already cluing them into her distress at the idea of //more sleep,// Bear's whine and the way he nuzzles at Cael's chest would certainly help as well. "Hush, you, I'm fine," she mumbles at the dog, setting down her fork so she can rub at his ears, her gaze turned down towards the pup, rather than looking towards Jon.
Jonathan Sims	Jon furrows their brow and then sighs. "Cael..." Long, deep breath in and then out. "Cael, love," they say softly. Gently. "If we go to bed on purpose, and dream ourselves /right/ to the Archive, we can... hopefully skip bad dreams. And if there /are/ any nightmares, I'll be there with you. I'll pull you away and help you craft something better."     He reaches out to tuck a piece of hair behind Cael's ear. "You can't avoid sleeping forever." He laughs. "Trust me, I know! I've tried! I... I've had... /awful/ nightmares. You've... seen some of them. But I'm finding it's better to... to go to sleep purposefully, than just let it roll over me."
Cael Becker	"I can avoid it for a while, though. Can't I?" Cael asks - in a tone that's somewhere between a laugh and a sob, as her head tilts towards the touch of Jon's hand. "With enough coffee. ...I don't want to go to sleep, Jon." Her tone is almost pleading. As if there was something he could do about this dilemma.     She knows he can't, realistically. Magic can do many things - solve many problems. Skipping sleep entirely? She's quite certain there'd be a stiff cost to that sort of nonsence.
Jonathan Sims	"We don't have to go to sleep right now," Jon says softly. "We can watch a movie, or play a game. It might be a good idea... get your mind primed with something else, make it easier to slip into the right mindset when you sleep."     He sighs. "I really wish there was another way, something I could do... but unless you want to take tomorrow off..." He frowns. "Actually that might not be a bad idea anyway. But regardless, we'll have to sleep /sometime/. Do you think you're less likely to have nightmares if you keep yourself busy for a while? Or are you just delaying?"
Cael Becker	"...I imagine I'm due for nightmares, no matter when I sleep," Cael admits quietly, the fingers of one of her hands buried deeply in Bear's fur. That's how it usually goes, after all - when she's had a bad day, like she's had today. "And the way- well, the way I'm feeling, I'm sure I'll get anxious all over again the moment we go to lie down." She knows herself, and how her mind works. It doesn't really matter how much they distract her //now//.
Jonathan Sims	Jon considers her for a moment. "Well," he says finally, "I've got nothing pressing tomorrow. If you don't either, then my professional opinion is that we take the day off." A pause. "That means... that we can go to sleep and get the nightmares over with and have plenty of time to recouperate tomorrow, or we can stay up a while longer to put it off."     They sigh. "It's up to you... but I'd suggest just getting it over with, if you'll be anxious regardless. Rip off the band-aid. But if you think you can't fall asleep unless you're exhausted..."
Cael Becker	"Does it matter if //I// can sleep?" Cael asks softly. "As long as you can? If either of us dozes off..." the other is along for the ride. That's how it goes.     And that loss of control //bothers// her. Bothers her now, more than it has before. "I know it's stupid. I knowI have to sleep. I know //you// have to sleep. But- God, I don't want to, Jon." What else is there to say? She leans in towards towards them, her face still turned away as he fingers scratch almost automatically as Bear's fur.
Jonathan Sims	"Just for another week or so," Jon says with a frown, as he puts his arm around Cael. "Though we can remove the tether any time you like. He won't come after my dreams anymore, I'm certain of that."     He sighs. "I couldn't sleep yet. So... let's play a game, hmm? Help my brain wind down. And then when we go to sleep I will come find you and pull you out of whatever nightmare you're in. Okay?" He puts his chin on her head. "I'll come for you. Always."
Cael Becker	There's a palpable sigh of relief as Jon's arm wraps around her, and they tuck her in under their chin. Even with her roiling thoughts and fears - it's hard not to feel safe with Jon embracing her, and Bear's familiar weight pressing down on her lap. "Yeah," she agrees quietly. "Okay. We'll... do that. Though seriously, you might be able to beat me if I get another glass or two of whiskey in me," she remarks, letting out a humorless laugh.     And then maybe she'll be too drunk to remember to fear sleep. It could happen, right?
Jonathan Sims	There's the briefest of hesitations. Jon knows that's a bad idea. But this once? Just this once? Would it be so bad?     They sigh. "Let's get another glass or two in you, then," they say with some attempt at good cheer. "Might be nice to actually win for once. Some day we're going to do something I know how to do, like play chess, and I'll manage to win."
Cael Becker	There's a moment of relief as Jon actually supports her bad choices.     She //knows// they're bad choices, after all. But sometimes... Sometimes they almost feel necessary, when the weight of the world, and her past, and her pain feels like too much to bear. And it's better, isn't it? That at least she isn't //alone// and making bad choices? Jon would keep her safe. Of course they would.     She pulls away, just enough to retrieve her glass of whiskey, taking another sip as she tucks herself back into place. "I love you."
Jonathan Sims	Jon idly conjures a glowing green hand to pick up the controllers and pull them over so he doesn't have to move. He smiles down at Cael and says, "I love you too. Even when you're--no, /especially/ when you're being stubborn." Evidently he thinks she's being stubborn. But ultimately, the choices, bad or not, are /hers/ to make. That's the whole point, right?     "Now why don't we see if I can actually manage to beat you at this fighting game for once."