Owner Pose
Jason Todd Jason Todd had gone to Fuc...Low Bottom, PA as a Family favor for Dick who had to deal with another matter that had come along. It was an interesting trip. He went with a crowbar and came home with a crowbar and a pineapple.

The drive back to Gotham was tense. He expected it to explode or turn into some sort of alien at any moment. Pineapples just do not materialize out of thin air.

And he felt like the ghost was still staring in his helmet's left ear hole.

Once to his apartment, he paused, regarding the strange fruit. Deciding it would keep better in the 'fridge, that became its new home and he went to get changed and shower off the creep factor of that encounter. And it was creepy. It made Cass yell. It was more words than he believed he had ever heard in total from her.

Some time later, he wanders out wearing an old Stones teeshirt and some plaid lounge pants. He just wears them for the comfort. A towel around his shoulders he flipped on the TV while idly rubbing the last of the damp from his hair. Then he dropped onto the couch with a sigh.
Phoebe Beacon     The pineapple is innoculous, which may be worse than it exploding in a Bromeliad goo and covering Jason with a reason for someone to look at his earhole. The pineapple awaits in the dark, its cheery green crown and its thorn-like outside innocently sitting amongst the other items of the inside of Jason's fridge. Waiting.
Tim Drake     It's a shorter drive to Kingston than Bristol Township if you're looking to speak to one of the capital-B Bats, that's for sure. And given Tim is out to ask some uncomfortable questions, he'd really rather it be Kate. She's, like... a cool aunt. Totally different vibe to Bruce.

    Also it's definitely Kate that may or may not be dating Poison Ivy so, you know, not something Tim should go to Bruce about anyway.

    "Okay, yes, I'm bringing you along mostly to show her that I'm not judging her for her life choices," Tim's saying to Lonnie as they breeze through the lobby of the building into the elevator. "Just roll with it. She's cool. Also, um, kind of terrifying?" He sounds uncertain, but really, who in the Bat-brood doesn't have a skewed sense of that sort of thing.

    There's probably some sort of negotiation regarding what Lonnie gets out of the deal on the elevator ride up. Unfortunately, as it turns out Kate isn't in the penthouse at the moment (or at least, she's not answering the door) so the point's mood. "Jason has a place here, I think," Tim says, having already hit the button for his floor.

    And thus the sanctity of Jason's domecile is violated by Tim, who just comes right on in. He does at least announce his (their) presence by yelling a questioning "JASON?!" before proceeding immediately to the kitchen to raid Jason's fridge.

    Cuz. Y'know. Brothers.
Lonnie Machin     "It isn't a transaction." Lonnie says, "You wanted me here, so I showed up. I don't promise to behave myself," He flicks one hand up from where he's leaning against the elevator wall, "Because I never make those kinds of promises. He watches Robin just let himself into Jason's apartment, and he leans in when Tim opens the fridge.
    "Oh, hey. A pineapple. ...Why does he have a pineapple? Hold on." He gestures, patting his coat. "Let me see if I can find a knife."
Jason Todd Jason Todd was channel surfing still. 150 channels and never anything worth watching. Figures.

Then the door blows open and Tim, with Lonnie in tow have arrived and are heading to raid his 'fridge.

"Tiiiimm" he calls out distractedly. "Hey Lonnie."

Wait. Knife. "Hey dont touch the pineapple. Raid whatever else but it's off limits you scavengers." There is a tenseness to his voice that should give them at least a moment of pause. But why would he stress over eating a pineapple?
Phoebe Beacon     Why *would* anyone stress about eating a pineapple? Perhaps it's a special occasion pineapple? Should it be wearing a tie? The pineapple looms pleasantly between some take-out boxes and a sixpack of cheap beer (sorry Jason, making assumptions about your beer tastes).

    The fridge ticks on and hums, its compressor working to keep things inside chill. There's a rattle as the ice maker releases its frozen payload and refills. Totally normal. Absolutely plainly normal.
Tim Drake     "Pretty sure I'm standing within reach of at least a dozen knives, knowing Jason," Tim's saying as he hefts the pineapple free of its refrigerated prison, shooting absolutely zero looks of judgment at the beer because he is, alas, still underage and also just kind of boring. The question: is Jason more a knife block kinda guy, or does he have one of those magnetic strips that you attach the knife to on the wall?

    The second one makes for easier access. It's the tactical choice. Either way, Tim's already got (lemme see what you have) a knife! in his hand when Jason warns them off the pineapple.

    Which prompts Tim to pause and look at Lonnie, his eyebrows going up. "...Jason why are you stressing about us eating a pineapple?" he asks.
Lonnie Machin     Lonnie already got a tactical knife out, and the redhead was prepared to slice up the pineapple so that they could eat it when the warning makes him raises his eyebrow. "What." He says, before one of the world's most notorious rogue geniuses (sort of) furrows his brow and says, "...Are you making a ham or something?"
    He flips the knife shut, but gives Tim a perplexed look.
Jason Todd Jason Todd gets up and wanders in. He's barefoot. It's his place! He looks the two of them. "HEy.. I said.. no." He's kind of stress. Elevated heart rate. He grabs a cheap beer. It was cheap. "Look. I don't know what it is. It.. could just be a pineapple, right?"

Popping open the tab, he takes a drink. "So.. Dick asked me to go up to Low Bottom, PA.. he was supposed to follow a lead on Phoebe's whereabouts, right? Something came up. He asked me. So yeah, I went." He shakes his head, "Town was like Addams Family meet Deliverance but with only Model-T cars on the street. It was strange." He pauses to let them keep up with this riveting story.
Phoebe Beacon     The Pineapple remains completely innocent. Did its crown quiver? Is there someone trying to alert Jason to their presence?

    Probably not. But the pineapple is no longer in its chilly prison in the hands of Thimothy Drake!
Tim Drake     Tim's still got the knife in his hand, but he's at least no longer brandishing it in the way that suggests pineapple-chopping is imminent. In fact, he lays the knife down flat on the counter.

    Next to the pineapple, yes. Because nothing in Jason's story (yet) has dissuaded him from wanting to eat this pineapple.

    "Okay, I think I've managed to synthesize those two references in my head," he says, though the wrinkle of his brow suggests... well, maybe not. But he nods along, anyway. Please continue.
Lonnie Machin Lonnie doesn't seem to be picking up what's being put down, perhaps willfully so.

"And that has... what exactly to do with this pineapple?" Lonnie rolls his eyes. "Is it a haunted pineapple? A *cursed* pineapple? Did it follow you home and appear in your fridge?"
Jason Todd Jason Todd looks at them both. "So I'm getting there, okay. The house we were supposd to search.. yeah. It was haunted. Crazy glitchy aparitions that could only be seen in the mirror. " Tell them about the earhole Jason.

"It was odd. Somehow not as distrubing in hind sight. BUt yeah.. Bart and Cass and I went in. We had to use a thimble of Cass's blood and recite some incantation... and. I guess it freed the ghosts?" he shrugs. "I don't know. It was just.. not my thing. But after the incantation finished.."

He jabs a finger toward the fruit. "I had a pineapple in my lap. Bart got a can of beans. What it all means? I have no idea."
Phoebe Beacon     At the question of 'is it a haunted pineapple, a cursed pineapple?' -- the pineapple indeed seems to tip over onto the countertop, rattling the knife that was going to be used for its enzymey-demise.
Tim Drake     "What, like it's a Chef Boyardee commercial?" Tim asks, perplexed. He doesn't seem to be buying into the whole haunted pineapple thing; in fact, when the pineapple tips over, he just chalks it up to it being slightly uneven on the bottom.

    Which is why he just slides the knife a little bit out of the way and then starts rolling the pineapple back and forth between his hands. Loosen up the juice!

    He looks dubiously between Jason and the fruit in question, mouth slightly agape. "Uh... you sure Bart wasn't just messing with you?" He picks up the pineapple and turns it back and forth as he examines it.
Lonnie Machin     Lonnie just rolls his eyes. "This discussion is dumb. *Dumb*. It's a pineapple. It's a fruit. If you left it out on your counter for two weeks, it'd be *garbage*." He gets up and briefly walks off somewhere else in the apartment. "Why are you investigating the pineapple, Tim. It's *not haunted*."
Jason Todd Jason Todd looks at both of them. "I'm telling you it appeared in my lap. It wasn't there. I didn't take a pineapple with me up there. I didn't even have a pineapple /here/ before I left." He looks at Tim, "You _know_ there is some crazy shit with Phoebe's disapperance."

Right? Please say you know, Tim! Back your brother's play!

"If it was a joke, do you think Cass would actually have used her own blood for a stupid poem? Whatever it was.. I don't know. But it wasn't all a mundane and ordinary day in the life kind of experience."
Phoebe Beacon     The pineapple rolls between Tim's hands, completely innocent. Utterly incapable of being anything other than a fancy piece of tropical fruit that somehow made its way to a ghost town in the middle of Pennsylvania that just happened to have instructions on how to send the ghosts to the afterlife.

    The Pineapple's only regret is that Tim and Lonnie will never see Bart trying to two-step with Jason to keep a ghost from poking at his head.

    Well, if it was a sapient pineapple in any case, since pineapples can't have regrets. However, they can be a little sharp along those spines. Careful Tim!
Tim Drake     To Lonnie's back, all Tim can say is "Stranger things have happened!" Whilst still, yes, investigating the pineapple. He sets it back down on the counter and flips through its... fronds?

    "Crown," he mutters, once the appropriate word comes to him. Trust Tim to be concerned with making sure he uses the correct terminology for pineapple leaves, of all things.

    Once again he picks up the knife, eyes on Jason. "There's a non-zero chance that Lonnie's hacking into your tech right now," he warns. And then he slices through the pineapple with one clean motion, like in fruit ninja. Or one of those infomercials you only see at like 3AM, you know the ones. SLICE!
Jason Todd Jason Todd frowns at Tim. "Seriously? And you're just going to let him? I don't do shit like that when I crash your place, dude." C'mon, man. "It isn't like I have anything here to hack, but not cool you know." He shakes his head.

"Whoa hey hey! I didn't say you could eat thep pineapple!" He seems awfully wound up over that spiney fruit. But it's too late. It has been Ginsu2k'd in one cruel motion. Jason just looks at Tim.

"When the world ends because you killed an elder god by mistaking it for a pineapple, just remember this is on you. I warned you."
Phoebe Beacon     WHA-CHAA! The fruit is sliced! The crown topples, rolling along the counter and if Tim's not particularly careful it falls to the floor, rolling, around and getting sticky pineapple juice on the probably clean kitchen floor.

    The rest of the pineapple is awaiting its defrocking after its crown is removed.

    There's a moment of quiet after Jason's warning -- and then upon the door there is a steady sound...

    Knock.
        Knock.
            KNOCK
                knock.
Lonnie Machin     At this point, Lonnie comes back, and he helpfully points out, as if this isn't *at all* spooky or ominous, "Hey. Someone's at the door." Isn't it usually the Skeptic who gets eaten first? Or... diced up and put in a rum drink with an umbrella in it?
Tim Drake     Tim's lip curls inward so that he can bite it, clearly holding back laughter judging by the shine of his eyes. "This pineapple thing really has you wound up, huh?" He shakes his head. "It's fine. I was just joking."

    And now OFF with its head! He's quick enough not to let it roll to the floor; instead he sets it down in the sink to contain aforementioned sticky pineapple juice. Then Tim's turning the pineapple around, trying to consider where to start in taking the skin off.

    "Did you UberEats something?" he asks of the knock on the door, then lifts the knife again. "We can head out if we're interrupting your dinner. We just stopped in to talk with Kate, but she didn't answer her door."
Jason Todd Jason Todd justs shakes his head at Tim. ".. sometimes I hate you. And you've always been my favorite.." he mutters. He doesn't mean it. There's a half smirk as he says it. As Lonnie comes back he looks over "Welcome back. How was the sight seeing?" he isn't mad. This is pretty much what he expects when Family comes over anyway. It's a three ring circus of fun and mayhem.

Heading for the door he shakes his head, "No. Didn't order anything. It's probably the Stay Puft man coming to punish for your sins, Tim."

A pause, he checks the security cam to see who is out in the hall. He half expects it is the glichy ghost. Felt like it followed him all the way home. Damn hitchhikers.
Phoebe Beacon     No, there is no glitchy ghost in the security cam, Jason's ear hole is safe from the gentleman in the mirror -- but sitting there, almost in the middle of the hallway...

    Is Another Pineapple.
Lonnie Machin     "...Your book collection is actually pretty nice." Lonnie says. He watches what's going on, and then he just says...
    "...Huh. Look at that."
    Then he walks over to the pineapple Tim murdered, takes the knife from him, and proceeds to finish cutting it up. He even whistles to himself while he works. Then he looks directly at Tim, pops a chunk of it into his mouth, and chews.
    "Maybe the pineapple ish haunted." He says, his mouth full, "Or maybe the short angry kid shigned Jayshon up for the fruit of the momf club?"
Jason Todd Jason Todd closes his eyes. Count to five. He goes out and picks it up. Bringing Piney #2 inside. Then he tap tap tap at the security panel to replay the last ten minutes outside in fast forward. Someone had to be there. Right?

Jason looks over at the two guys, "If I die beacuse of a pineapple, I am haunting you. Forever." He smirks. "At least that one tastes good? I hope. Ripe enough?"
Tim Drake     The casual way in which Lonnie takes the knife suggests that it's not a new thing. As does the way Tim slides out of the way, hip leaned against the counter as he waits for his own serving of the Fruit That Eats You Back (and is also maybe haunted) (tm).

    So he's waiting patiently when Lonnie takes the first bite. That's the law of the kitchen; you do the cooking, you get first dibs. Tim does does nab a slice for himself after, though. "Seems like something Damian would do," he agrees. Then pops the pineapple into his mouth.

    The thumbs up that follows seems to indicate that it passes muster. But, still chewing.
Phoebe Beacon     There is nothing that the recording finds -- one moment the pineapple isn't there, and it's a momentary glitch, with the lights flickering -- and then the pineapple is there. So mysterious.

    The Fruit That Eats You Back is tasty, juicy, well ripened, a perfect pineapple for snacking or grilling without any additional sweeteners.
Lonnie Machin     "As ghosts go, I expect there's probably meaner." Lonnie says. He helps himself to another piece of the pineapple, and then hooks his arm around Tim's waist. "I'm sure there's a completely rational explanation for this. That doesn't mean that it isn't a *stupid* explanation... just a logical one."
Jason Todd Jason Todd just sighs at the video. "I'll send this in to the UnXplained Files. They can debunk this.." A smirk. He takes the second pineapple and puts it in the fridge. That's where these things began here.

After a pause, he takes a slice of the pineapple and bites into it. If he was going to be damned he may as well enjoy the fall.

"Mm.. that is good. Who knoew ghost pineapple could be so good."
Tim Drake     "This is really good," Tim agrees, once he doesn't have a mouth full of pineapple. "When the whole pineapple craze started in the sixteenth century, the going rate for one could be as much as," his eyes cut to the side while he does some quick mental math, "Like $8000, in today's money."

    He picks up another piece of pineapple and adds, "So it seems like you've got a pretty nice deal here, as far as hauntings go. Plus," he holds the piece aloft, "You're never gonna get scurvy!"
Phoebe Beacon     Ghost peppers are hot, it makes sense that ghost pineapples would be sweeter than normal.

    And now that everyone has had some of the ghost pineapple, its juiciness sampled by all living and returned to the living in the household, that's when the most curious thing happens.

    The refridgerator gives another rattle, as if the ice maker was about to drop again, and then there is a loud THUMP.
Lonnie Machin     Lonnie wrinkles his nose, and then he walks over to the fridge and opens it. "Fine. I'll pull on the thread. Wouldn't be the first time."
Jason Todd Jason Todd looks to the fridge. He sighs inwardly as Lonnie goes over to inspect the thump in the fridge. "Scurvy is a serious issue, Tim. Don't mock other's pain. It's beneath you" he jokes. He takes another slice of the now dead pineapple and tosses it in his mouth.

What's behind door #1, Lonnie?
Tim Drake     "I wonder how far it'll follow you to try and make a pineapple delivery." Because that's the sort of thing Tim's thinking about. What logical rules does this haunting follow? Yeah, that's definitely a thing he can puzzle out.

    So he's still caught up in his own thoughts when the thump in the fridge happens, and he doesn't jump, but his muscles tense at the sudden noise. Tim says nothing, only chomps down on another piece of pineapple as he stares after Lonnie.
Phoebe Beacon     Ladies and gentlemen, behind Door Number One (meaning the fridge door, not the freezer door, that'll be an entirely different scene), once Lonnie opens the door, and the light clicks on...

    The good news is that the pineapple is still there.

    The even better news is that there's not another pineapple.

    No. There are now Three Freaking PINEAPPLES.

            ... and a bunch of grapes.
Lonnie Machin     "Huh." Lonnie says, his expression... flat. He stares into the fridge. "It looks like your ghost really likes giving pineapples as gifts. And it must like you. ...Do you have any Jell-O?" He closes the door with a thump and straightens back up. "I always did like orange Jell-O with pineapple chunks."
Jason Todd Jason Todd stares at the 'fridge. "Tim. Turn around and look at the results of your handiwork. This is all on you. If I have to move out because this place gets destroyed by a half million pineapples, I'm moving in with you."

It's only fair.
Tim Drake     When nothing happens except the appearance of more fruit, Tim's nerves settle. So much so that he sidesteps beside Lonnie, hip-bumping him lightly out of the way so he can reach in for the grapes.

    "Yeah, sure. That's fair," he responds as he heads over to the sink to wash the grapes. Because, yep, he's definitely going to eat them.

    Though in the meantime he leaves them to air-dry on the counter while he rifles through Jason's cabinets. For Jell-O.
Phoebe Beacon     THUMP. The door closes.

    Whrrrrrr goes the compressor, slowly the fridge comes back down to temperature before there is a rattle... a rumble, the sudden CRACK of metalsnapping, and the fridge tilts dangerously forward as if going on the attack, and then settles back down.

    Then the ice maker whrrrs, dumps its frozen payload, and begins to refill.
Lonnie Machin     Lonnie casually plucks about four of the grapes, and tosses one up before he catches it in his mouth. He chews on it, thoughtfully, before he says "Can you cook? Because Tim can't-" He watches the Fridge lurch forward and then says, "This isn't funny anymore." He frowns, and then says, "...Right, I'm gonna go get some coffee."
Jason Todd If Tim thinks Jason has Jell-O he is sorely mistaken. Jason doesn't have Jell-O in the cupboards. When he has it, it's the prefilled cups. But he had the last one the other day and hasn't been to the store since.

Jason looks to Tim. He points to Lonnie, "He gets it. Why aren't you taking this seriously. The truth is right here." For once no travel was involved.
Tim Drake     "Huh."

    Slowly, Tim closes the cupboards he's standing in front of. He takes a few steps back, eyes narrowed at the fridge. And then Lonnie's leaving for coffee, so Tim starts to follow. "Maybe we should... all go get a coffee. And call Zatanna." About Jason's haunted fridge. That Tim is maybe responsible for.

    That pineapple was really good, though.
Phoebe Beacon     There's a click, and slowly the fridge door swings open, almost in an omionous manner.
    The fridge is devoid of items, save for the pineapples, and a folded piece of aged paper.

    Unfolded, it has a note, written in perfect cursive handwriting the likes seen on fancy documents and love letters with entirely too much purple prose.

    Kindest Mr. Todd,

    Thank you once more for the work in freeing my family from my uncle's cursed house which had held us so long. The blood your corhort shared, the circle that was created and the energies you have brought into the house are a gift that truly we cannot pay you back for in a state such as ours.

    Thus I must ask your forgiveness for this last intrusion, as there is little proof of The LORDS's affection in the afterlife to which we journey, and my brother and I have worked up such a thirst over two centuries.

    Best regards and warmest wishes for your continued health and life as truly we are in your debt,

Thomas Alvin Percy
Elijah Bennington Percy

    ... and all of Jason's beer is gone.