Scene #17447: Terror Tuxedos on Trivia Night Tuesdays?!

Owner	Pose
Jennifer Walters	Jennifer Walters believes in having it all! The career! The personal life! The -love- life! The superhero adventure life! The fashion, the fun, the fighting for existence against time-devouring monstrosities from the tenth dimension (double the amount of dimensions as the fifth!). And most importantly -- she believes in making time for -friends-. A critical cornerstone of this friend time, besides the aforementioned fashion, fun, and fighting against the yadda yadda double the dimensions? -Theme nights-. It all started with Eat Cake in Fancy Dresses Wednesday, an invention of the inestimable Patsy Walker, and it was just all downhill from there. Wanting to rope her other friends into similar bonding moments, the Sensational She-Hulk tried her own hand at coming up with a theme night before subsequently cajoling one Carol Danvers into joining her. Unfortunately... "I've made a huge mistake." ... Jen has learned she's not the deft hand Patsy is at theme nights. And so this forewarning brings us to TUXEDOS ON TRIVIA NIGHT TUESDAYS Where Jennifer Walters - aka THE SENSATIONAL SHE-HULK - sits and stares in open dismay at the round table she set aside for herself and Carol at a standby bar & grill franchise known as BYRNE'S BAR. She is dressed in her very best purple tuxedo tailcoat with matching waistcoat, slacks, white button-up, black bowtie and purple thong sandals. She is currently all in on the gamma-powered glamour because it's her right to and also her best tuxedo was hulk-sized. Her chair groans ever-so-precariously beneath her hulkified weight. She has one of those thousand-yard stares. The haunted looks one gets when they realize they've made a decision that will haunt them to the ends of their days. They're currently three rounds deep into trivia night at the bar, and things are looking grim. For one, everyone is gawking at them, which might be understandable, but not for the reasons you think. No, it's not because they're superheroes at a sports bar. It's not even because they're famous! It's because... well... ... Let's just take a look at the score cards: THE BANTER PANTHERS - SCORE: 2 (jen thought this name was a bit of a stretch but not bad!) BEER TODAY GONE TOMORROW - SCORE: 1 (jen was mad this one was already taken!) THE BRAINIAC MANIACS - SCORE: 3 (jen thought this one was in insanely poor taste!) Which brings us to Carol and Jen's team, GAMMA GAMMA NEGA SCORE: Z E R O . (jen thought the name was very clever but no one else got it which is really just salt in the wound at this point) And so here is Jennifer Walters, sitting in harrowing disquiet in the knowledge that a bunch of nerds are judging her for being just... -terrible- at trivia, trying desperately to keep her chair from splintering beneath her, regretting every decision that led her to this very day. "I think this might be my worst theme night I've ever come up with," Jen states vacantly. She looks sidelong at the other member of GAMMA GAMMA NEGA. Pleading. Desperate. "Was I drunk when I thought of this? Please tell me I was drunk, Carol." Some things, like theme nights, are best left to the professionals, and not people obsessed with making alliteration happen.
Carol Danvers	Despite certain corners of the internet claiming Carol Danvers lacks the human gene to experience fun and lightheartedness, and the fact that her most recent and routine leisure activity has been fixing up the family farm in upstate New York with only minimal use of her powers, even Kree seriousness must melt in the face of overwhelming positivity. And it's impossible to withstand the positivity of her friends, even if Eat Cake in Fancy Dresses Wednesday had involved an awful lot of worry on Carol's part about what constituted 'fancy dress', and she refused to ask Janet van Dyne for a hint. Tuxedos on Trivia night Tuesdays? That's something she can work out easier. Not that Carol had a tux gathering dust in one of her closets between the Avengers mansion and her farmhouse, but when you rock a series of costumes that are growing more and more suit-like by the iteration, and you've spent time in uniform, a tux is downright welcoming. Even if the tal blonde went with leaving her bowtie undone in a brazen, almost confrontational display of casual within the grips of monochromatic formalwear. And as the night wears on, Carol's regretting having gone for stylish nonconformity, because she could totally go for being able to undo her bowtie as a stress release for having been so thoroughly, utterly shellacked in this trivia game. She glances sidelong to her friend and sighs loudly, "No, no, I think the problem is our lack of being drunk. I always used to be good at trivia. I'm positive! I'm sure of it! I mean, when I was drinking? I was unstoppable at trivia!" This is not true. Carol simply did not remember the scores of incorrect answers when she was drunk. "And that last round was bullshit. ALF was not the first alien to come to Earth and eat a cat, there's an entire like... ziggurat on Ceti Alpha 2 to their folk hero Remnar Purrgobble and his transgalactic voyage to 'The Blue Haven'." She heaves out a sigh, slumping forward on her stool, elbows resting on her thighs, chin propped in her palms as her eyes roll to lock onto Jen, her eyebrows lifting. "Should we be drunk? Can it really hurt?" That's a very alarming question coming from Carol. Usually. Until her lips quirk slightly, "I mean, can you even get drunk if you're not uhh... lawyerly?"
Jennifer Walters	It's okay, Carol; no one can withstand Jennifer Walters' positivity. It's gamma-powered. It's a blessing and a curse, especially when it leads to getting roped into deeply embarrassing moments one never thought they could feel shame about. Jen's sigh is a mighty and long-suffering thing that follows up after Carol's as if carrying the torch of its not-so-proud legacy. The green-skinned glamazon slumps back in her seat -- and then stumbles a bit to course-correct as she -feels- the chair's back legs start to bend the knees they absolutely do not have. "Right? I used to do trivia nights all the time in college, Carol," she complains to her friend. "I was the best at trivia. Everyone wanted me on their team!" A TIMELY FLASHBACK Everyone glares sullenly at fresh-faced college-aged thick-glasses'd Jennifer "MISTRESS OF MINUTIAE" Walters as she answers trivia question after trivia question before anyone else can, scrawny arms waving emphatically. She is the only person at her table. Also everyone else is like in their 40s. ~ <3 ~ "Yep. Beloved." It seems Carol and Jen both have some slight problems remembering the past accurately. And so Jen grumps with grumpiness proportionate to a Hulk, sliding down the back of her seat until the collar of her very fancy tuxedo tailcoat hooks against the top of her chair, giving her a tragically frumpled look (but with perfect hair, it must be noted) as Carol protests their disastrous last round. "I kept telling you, 'no one knows who Purrgobble is, Carol! It'd be a waste of time to talk about Purrgobble, Carol! No. More. Purrgobble!,'" she grouses; the SHAME OF DEFEAT and INTENSITY OF FAILURE is probably getting to her. With truly poor timing, she chooses now to destress by hooking a finger into her bowtie and undoing it with a few exasperated tugs. "... Sorry. We shouldn't fight. I just -- I can't live with myself if we don't at least get one point," she mumbles. "Just one measly point! Is that so much to ask??" Still. Carol asks a Very Alarming Question and then chases it with a more reasonable one, which makes Jen wonder if she should be concerned or informative. She debates this visibly for five seconds before deciding: "Getting drunk is the one superpower Jen Walters has over She-Hulk." She offers a lopsided grin at this, her earlier irritation (mostly (sort of (ONE MEASLY POINT))) forgotten in favor of friendly self-effacing. "I work off the alcohol too fast like this. I just get a really fabulous buzz going. Maybe if it was some kinda super-liquor. But," she glances around, slowly, "... I don't think we're gonna get any of that." She sighs. Again. "It can't be helped. This is the only tux I had." It isn't. She just likes the way she fills it out as She-Hulk. "I dunno, Carol. I need some kind of... something. You know? A release valve. I thought Tuxedos on Trivia Night Tuesday would do it but now I just kinda want to bring the whole bar crashing down on the Brainiac Maniacs' heads which isn't -really- conducive to destressing. Y'know, in the aftermath." The BRAINIAC MANIACS, in full Brainiac Merch (why is that a thing!) and sitting right next to Carol and Jennifer, scoot their -entire- table away inch by floor scraping inch, s l o w l y. The trivia host, a portly balding man in his 50s rocking an aggressive beard and a smug expression, side-eyes Carol and Jennifer. His name tag reads 'STAN DOTT.' He clears his throat. Loudly. To let them know they're interrupting his Process. And then he moves along: "Aaanyway," he begins his opening preamble in a perfectly monotone, droning voice, "did you know Monica Bellucci still somehow looked very attractive even into her late thirties?" Jen squints. "I'm not totally cool with the phrasing there," she asides to her friend, but still, she for once looks -excited-. She starts sitting up, a smile on her lips--! "But I bet this question's gonna have something to do with 'The Matrix'--" "Who was the last King
Jennifer Walters	Jen squints. "I'm not totally cool with the phrasing there," she asides to her friend, but still, she for once looks -excited-. She starts sitting up, a smile on her lips--! "But I bet this question's gonna have something to do with 'The Matrix'--" "Who was the last King of the Lombards?" Jen stares. Blankly. She stares for so long as THE BRAINIAC MANIACS excitedly and immediately start scribbling down their answer. She glares sullenly. And then she quite literally shrinks into her tux until she's in her much smaller, much less green Lawyerly Form, lifting one hanging oversized sleeve-clad arm and waving emphatically. "-Drinks please-!!"
Carol Danvers	Carol is, blissfully, unaware of Young Jennifer Walters and her enthusiastic college trivia run. And fortunately, bound by the fourth wall as Carol 'Blissfully Unaware of Editorial's Impact On Her Life' Danvers is, the audience is spared a flash back to her own youthful hobbies. Pushups. Her hobby was pushups and calisthenics. Would it sell issues? Sure. But now? Now is time for trivia. And Carol is rapidly beginning to realize what while /she/ is in her 40s nowadays, somehow she hasn't kept up on contemporary trivia questions. Was that one about Peaky Blinders? That show is SO NEW though! But Jennifer 'Can only get drunk when she's tiny' Walters raises a valid point and for a moment Carol looks truly, utterly awestruck. "...You know, I never realized before just how rare it is to have like... human-Kree hybrid physiology and be able to get drunk? Like, you can't really get drunk when you're all Large and In Charge, and even Kara... like... that girl could fit in a duffel bag, but I'm also pretty sure she could just drink the entire Jack Daniels distillery and not blink twice. ...Don't tell her I said I think she can do that. I'm always afraid one day she's going to take one of these outlandish claims as a /challenge/ and..." And then she's hushing up for the Trivia King or... whatever rank you get when you are the guy with the cards with the questions and answers and... Carol deflates and sinks down until she's just as rumpled and deflated as her dear friend as she glances over and hisses out, "Do you think SHIELD would buy it if we just claim this entire bar is some sort of secret AIM operation and... I mean... what's /one/ pool table thrown through the roof? In the grand scheme of things?"
Jennifer Walters	"Carol," says Jennifer Walters as solemnly lays a hand on her dear friend's shoulder; returned to human form as she is, that solemnity is somewhat undercut by the face that her now-oversized tux sleeve is like engulfing her entire hand, "you know there's no way I can promise to do that when I'm planning to get blackout drunk and don't want to be held legally accountable for a verbal contract I made beforehand." Is Jen going to tell Kara that Carol thinks she can drink an entire Jack Daniels distillery? She's not planning on it but you know there's certain things you just can't account for when you're (voluntarily) a mere, frail mortal deep in her cups of trivia-stupid shame. MEANWHILE, ONE TABLE OVER... The BRAINIAC MANIACS, having successfully submitted their answer for that BLATANTLY difficult question, sit back smugly. One of them, his nametag reading ARTHUR, looks sidelong. His eyes widen as he sees JENNIFER WALTERS out of She-Hulk form excitedly ordering two glasses of scotch. ("Actually, just bring the whole bottle!" she calls to the leaving waitress, because Jen is great with restraint.) ARTHUR leans over and nudges his companions, nametagged IVAN and MARK. He gestures emphatically at Jen and Carol. They start frantically conferring in hushed tons among themselves. BACK TO OUR SEXILY DRESSED UNDERDOG HEROES! Jen is too busy gulping down an entire glass of scotch in one go with a satisfied "OHMIGOSH, thank you, scotch!!" to notice the BRAINIAC MANIACS actively conspiring. She's got her priorities in order. Shut up. A soft "aaaah~" escaping her lips, Jen leans back and pours herself another glass. She should PROBABLY show a bit more restraint around Carol; she doesn't like to be an enabler. On the other hand: fuck this Trivia Night. Who the hell knows the royal lineage of the freaking Lombards, anyway?! (The BRAINIAC MANIACS do; the answer is Desiderius.) (Shut up, metatext, no one likes you. So she just starts to pour a glass for her fellow member of GAMMA GAMMA NEGA, snorting as Carol speaks. "Yeah," she says jokily, "like anyone's gonna believe a place as lame as this" STAN DOTT shoots them a withering glare "is a supervillain en..." And then the ground starts shaking. "...clave...?" Cracks start forming in hardwood floor. Jen's eyes widen. "Aw c'mon--" Whereupon the entire ground EXPLODES, splitting open a gaping fissure in the earth that sends people and tables and drinks ("AW C'MON!!") and Jennifer Walters -flying- every which way. "I HATE IT WHEN I NARRATIVELY KNOCK ON WOOD--" Jen cries as she flies. At least it means she's too busy getting knocked aside like a ragdoll to notice the LAVA MEN crawling out of the hole yet. She HATES lava men. So much.
Carol Danvers	Carol huffs. Or maybe finishes deflating. Whichever it is, she does her best to shrink down as her dear friend places a hand upon a shoulder that, while it is covered by a looser cut of fabric than her usual super suit, is far from deflated or tiny, there's that expected Marvelous Physique or whatever term one might use. One eyebrow does lift as she sighs out, "You do realize that... wait, can you /get/ blackout drunk? Like, once you get past tipsy, don't your emotions get like... out of control and amplified enough you just kinda... y'know... grrrr argh?" Eyebrows lift, eyes brighten and Carol Danvers sits up a little more straight. You can take the test pilot out of the experimental spaceplane, but... somethingsomething. Carol's got innate curiosity, and while she might not do any engineering or test flights anymore... 'Can Jennifer Walters get blackout drunk before she goes green?' is like... Well, it's not an episode of Mythbusters, but still. That just means it is literally a unique opportunity! Her curiosity knows no bounds! And then, when the camera swings back to the dynamic duo, Carol's curiosity is being... if not satiated, well, she's rapidly beginning to realize /why/ curiosity killed the cat. Jennifer 'Doing some Real Boring Lawyer Shit' Walters is much tinier than Jennifer 'OMG How did she only rip the sleeves of that blouse?' Walters. But apparently the two of them can both throw back scotch like a goddamn champion. (But not a Champion, the Champions are really more of a fortified wine level super team) Carol's a little sad they lost yet another point, but she was also like 93% certain a Lombard was like one of those upholstered footrests? Carol's about to give herself permission for one little night of relapse... and to ignore the weight and gravity of the word 'relapse' when it comes to her and drinking, when the ground starts to shake. When the floor starts to crack. "OH SHIT! IT'S THE MOLEMA- OH MY GOD!! IS IT?!" For her part, Carol's not sent flying because Captain Marvel stands tall! Or, you know, sits tall. Or at least is impervious to glassware and tables. Carol Danvers's(eseses) tuxedo is _not_ immune to glassware and tables and so in an instant there's a surprising amount of leg and arms on display through rents in sleeves and legs. "...How many points do we get for FIGHTING CRIME, _STAN_?!"
Jennifer Walters	"No way, I'm a -Sensational- drunk, Carol. Not a -Savage- drunk. "It's important to know the difference if you're thinking about being a Party Hulk." Hulks, truly, contain so many facets. The benefit of being a self-proclaimed Party Hulk (this is not an actual factual category of Hulk), at least, is being able to take your hard liquors like a pro. The downside of being a self-proclaimed Party Hulk is sometimes you're too busy taking your hard liquor like a pro to notice the people ACTIVELY CONSPIRING right next to you. Which leads us to NOW, -=CRACK=- "ugh my assbooooooone." where Jennifer Walters experiencing what it means to tumble ass over tea kettle. Jen is mid-transformation by the point her half-gamma-powered ass collides with a table, sending it CRASHING into the ground as bar goers flee the scene. It's SHE-HULK that emerges in all her green glory, the perfect fit of her Ralph Lauren tailored tux now ruined by the multiple lacerations that expose windows of flexing green muscles as she drags herself onto her feet. Just in time to see... "Lava Men?!" exclaims Jen, horrified. "I hate Lava Men!" See?? Wiping her face with exasperation, Jen takes a moment to shoot a glance Carol's way to see if she's okay (of course she is) before turning that green glare back onto the rampaging rock monsters. How many points do they get for fighting crime? STAN DOTT, hiding bravely behind an upturned table, peeks his head over the rim of it to shout, "Crime fighting is not trivia! How dare you try to impugn the integrity of trivia ni--" A lava man hurtles towards STAN, only stopped as Jen bodily -tackles- it into the ground. "IT'S WORTH A HUNDRED POINTS!" Jennifer, who does not WANT to cheat at trivia but whatever to hell with it a win's a win baby, smashes that Lava Man's face into the earth until it stops being so animated. "I... huh," she wonders as the rest of the Lava Men assemble in a perfect line rather than aggressing aggressing. "Uhh. Carol. This is weird. Right? This is weird? Usually they're starting to, like, at least melt things by now. They LOVE melting things. Is this a Mole Man thing? Or maybe Tyrannus? Or..." "... or your MORTAL NEMESIS!" Jen gasps at the shouted words. And dramatically, she wheels around to face her NEMESES, ... Arthur, Ivan and Mark of the BRAINIAC MANIACS. Currently wearing AIM masks. "YOU might not remember, Jennifer Walters, but you left a trail of humiliating destruction in your wake in the trivia circuit TWELVE YEARS AGO TO THE DAY WHEN YOU WERE STILL TWENTY FOUR!" ("you could have done this without telling people i'm old you know") "THE THREE OF US were one of your many victims, mocked and debased but your spiteful and aggressive namecalling after you intellectually dominated us!" ("okay you're making it sound REALLY weird--") "BUT we resolved to have our vengeance! We joined AIM, honed our scientific craft, and perfected this portable SUBTERRANEA SUBVERSION mind control device all for the day we'd randomly encounter you at a trivia bar and set our wrongs to right!" (you can tell it's still them because they're still proudly showing off all their offputting Brainiac swag) Jen stares. Squints. Her mouth opens. She looks sidelong at Carol, and gestures. -Emphatically-. At the weird trio of AIM Brainiac enthusiasts. As if to say: 'See? This is all your fault Carol. For opening your big mouth about AIM. All your fault. Not mine.' maybe the BRAINIAC MANIACS have a point On the other hand -- "GO, LAVA MEN! ATTACK! AVENGE US!" They ARE sending Lava Men lunging like a melty superhot horde at Jennifer -and- Carol -AND- a bunch of bystanders so maybe they don't have THAT great of a point.
Carol Danvers	Carol Danvers is a good friend. A great friend. A fantastic friend. Which is why she will not be telling all of their mutual friends that she totally heard Jennifer Walters talking about her assbone. Because friendship. And also because really, as hilarious as it is to watch the mild mannered (Hah!) lawyer go ass over teakettle, there's like, actual Lava Men rising up out of the Earth and shit. And that's a problem. Carol's pretty sure it's her fault. Lava men try to kidnap the Invisible Woman she's pretty sure. And she's a blonde who wears a lot of blue, and Carol's a blonde and sometimes wears a lot of blue. And Lava Men seem pretty dumb. So it makes sense they're confused, right? Except the Lava Men are moving with coordination! They're lining up! They're- wait, what? Carol's head slowwwwwwly cranes until she can eye the Brainiac Maniacs. Balefully? She's pretty sure she's eying them balefully. "Oh. So this isn't about me. Whew." And then she grimaces. Full on grimace. So grimace she should have a mediocre purple milkshake for her troubles. "God. They just made it so so weird." Except then they're commanding their fiery minions to attack! "Hey! They said 'Avenge us'. Can we sue for that? That's like... trademark infringement or whatever! OH MY GOD I BET THEY SOLD THOSE AVONGERS SHIRTS!" Carol winds up and flies forward with a speed /just/ short of breaking the sound barrier to barrel into a Lava Man with a crushing blow before she's back to glaring at the trivial trio of terror. "THOSE SHIRTS MADE MY ASS LOOK SO FLAT! YOU MOTHERF-OWWW!" The ow's really more reflexive as lava spills over Carol Danvers and ignites a fair portion of her entirely mundane tuxedo jacket. Oh no!!
Jennifer Walters	Carol Danvers -is- a fantastic friend. And Jennifer Walters would know a thing or two about -fantastic-. (Yes, this is a humble brag in the meta about being an honorary member of the Fantastic Four; hey, shut up.) Off the Lava Men fling! And Jennifer is finding herself grappling with two whole ones, purple fabric catching aflame here and there as they go to grab her arms to hold her back for a third to work the body like if Lava Men just decided to fight like Bar Thugs. "It's --" CRACK! "-- oof! -- a tricky --" KAPOW! "GUH! -- legal gray area --" FAPPO! "--fappo?! Okay, that is IT--" At this point, Jen's had enough, which is why she suddenly uses a surge of prodigious Hulk strength to swing the two Lava Men grabbing her arms -into- the third one pummeling her gut, using its friends as impromptu bludgeons to explode all three into horrible rock viscera (which is really just rubble if you get down to it; still, messed up). "hooohhhh! But -- what I CAN do is keep them tied up in court so long the legal fees will put them into crippling debt either way." Jennifer flashes Carol thumbs up and a smile that could reverse a guilty verdict. That she's also doing it while removing casually tugging off her CURRENTLY ON FIRE BOW TIE is no nevermind, really. "No one makes my friend's ass look flat!" "B-but that wasn't even us--!" begins ARTHUR. "I mean it might of been, we made a lot of bootlegged merch to fund our AIM projects--" interjects IVAN. "And I refuse to compromise accuracy in my art!" proclaims MARK. "IF Captain Marvel's ass is flat, CAPTAIN MARVEL'S ASS WILL BE FLAT!" ARTHUR and IVAN look, very worriedly, MARK's way. They urge him to take it back, for the love of god, please take it back-- "Oh, you've done it now." But it's too late, because THE SENSATIONAL SHE-HULK is already rolling up her charred and smoking sleeves with a narrow-eyed glare. "Carol's ass is fantastic! You can come after me all you want, but you go after my friends--" "ohhhhh no" "--and you better get ready to be SMASHED." "oh no she said the thing" What happens next is a moment of violence too prolonged and unconscionable for text buffer budget to properly encompass, so let's just take a family friendly montage look at what ensues:
Jennifer Walters	JENNIFER'S SIDE OF THE CARNAGE IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER: Jen HULK CLAPS one Lava Man into tiny bits! - SMASH! - Jen tries to douse one Lava Man's flames in alcohol only to remember about halfway through that alcohol is flammable! - SMASH! - A giant Lava Man-shaped fireball ROCKETS out into the sky screaming Lava Man profanities all the way towards the Hudson! "I'M SORRY I SET YOU ON FIRE LAVA MAN I'M KIND OF DRUNK!" - SMASH! - Jen starts to feel bad when she kicks one Lava Man between the legs so hard it splits in half. "Carol, I'm starting to feel bad for Lava Men. Are we the bad guys here -- OH GOD THE LAVA MAN IS TRYING TO IGNITE MY HAIR SCREW THAT" - SMASH! - "So... like... what's the deal with the whole... Brainiac thing?" Jen asks a pointed and burning (ho ho ho) question of ARTHUR as she steps over a fallen Lava Man. "What about him?" "Like is this just, like, an AIM sub-division thing, or -- what?" "What? No. We just really like Brainiac." "You really... like Brainiac." "Yeah. We know it's not in vogue to like an evil genocidal machine intelligence from space and we don't condone him, we just think he has some good ideas." "... Good ideas... like...?" "I mean... y'know." "... I don't think I do." "Oh - pfff-- y-y'know." ARTHUR clears his throat. She-Hulk squints. And then she lightly flicks ARTHUR on his AIM-covered forehead. INSTANT KO "Why do I get the -weirdest- villains, I swear..." - SMASH! - The end result sees JENNIFER WALTERS, SHE-HULK AT LAW sitting on a massive pile of Lava Man debris, the rest of them fleeing into the gigantic hole in the ground after the SUBTERRANEA SUBVERTER was heroically destroyed. Her tuxedo is in tragic tatters, just ribbons of charred purple cloth kind of artistically strewn about green skin in a way that by sheer coincidence maintains public rating requirements. Amazing! "Wow," she huffs, slumping back on her burning-hot throne of ruin. "That was actually... really satisfying." The BRAINIAC MANIACS kind of groan in disagreement but who cares. "See? When I talked about release valves, Carol?? THIS is what I meant!" Jennifer pauses. Considers the ruin of the trivia bar, and STAN DOTT sobbing over them. Her lips purse. "... Well, okay, I mean maybe not this EXACTLY but... something like it. Without all the... y'know... property damage and threatened innocents and creepy Brainiac fans."
Carol Danvers	For her part, Carol's juggling an awful lot of Avenger-y priorities. For one thing, firing off energy blasts in an occupied business? Terrible PR. So that's out. She can't throw Lava Men around all willy nilly because she might hit someone and somehow people are /way/ less forgiving for 'Captain Marvel goes too far' than 'Party Hulk does crazy thing!'. Maybe it's the hair? Carol does have the benefit that she's not nearly so worried about her hair catching on fire because of her physiology. And also because it's short. And so, inspired by her best bud and trivia partner, there's really only one solution. Carol SMASH! Okay, she definitely upper cuts one Lava Man in an attempt to reach the East River since the Hudson shouldn't get all the fun. And then she clues into the conversation and chimes out, "Is it because he's tall? Like, you guys like Brainiac because MODOK's sort of weird shaped?" Carol delivers a right cross to another Lava man. "That's pretty mean, really. Like on a personal level. And as the action winds down, as Carol finds herself leaning against what's left of the bar and eying the gaping hole in the floor, she heaves out a loud sigh. "I think next time just taking up Janet on her offer to go to... I mean, whatever fashion show's going on in some vaguely tropical locale is a better release valve. She has a yacht, Jen. I think she has /multiple/ yachts." Carol looks down at her own impressively vaguely destroyed attire and sighs out, "I knew I should've worn my old costume under the tux. We should do this again." A long pause. "Hanging out. Maybe we can just watch Jeopardy and answer along to the TV though."
Jennifer Walters	"Ugh. I want to be on a yacht. A yacht's so far away from trivia." This is the lamentation of She-Hulk, sprawled magnificently on her trumbling rockman perch. "Mmm. Yeah. Janet's way better at putting together fun nights out than I am. Blech. I hate having to admit that, Carol. I work so hard on this stuff, and then it gets all..." She gestures one green hand at the trio of AIM minions. "... Brainiac'd." Her brows scrunch. ("D'you think it WAS a height thing? I dunno. That's a rabbit hole I don't want to go down.") STAN DOTT, for his part, just sobs over the burnt ashes of his trivia cards. Decades of work crafting meaningless minutiae... gone...! Jen's got -way- too much dopamine bouncing around in her mighty brain to notice his sadness, however. She's just lost in thought about beating up lava men, and fancy yachts, and sunny beaches, and beating up lava men, and... ''We should do this again.'' Bright gamma green eyes widen. Carol tries to correct, but-- "Ohmigosh. You're absolutely right!" It's too late. Inspiration has struck. It's a worryingly charming grin that blooms on green lips as Jen is suddenly on her feet, bouncing from rocky crag to rocky crag to make a bouncy landfall next to her dear, superstrong, invincible friend Carol Danvers. She leans against the bar next to her dear, very punchy, very physical friend Carol, and looks sidelong at her, expression aglow... with -promise-. "I've got an idea." Oh no. "It's a good one." Oh -no-. "I'll tell you all about it soon. I gotta get a little presentation together for it. But to give you a hint..." Oh -NO-. Jennifer Walters leans in and whispers a tantalizing string of words into her powerful, titanic, aggressive friend Carol's ear: "'Who is Brad Pitt circa 1999.'" In -Jeopardy answer form-. Truly, truly ominous. "But first. Yachts. Tropical paradises." She looks down at herself. Then at Carol. "... New clothes. Let's... make that priorty number one."